Colditz (1972–1974): Season 1, Episode 4 - Welcome to Colditz - full transcript

You have given us
a great deal of trouble,

Flight Lieutenant Carrington.

You will be taken back
to Gestapo Headquarters In Berlin,

where your Interrogation
will be continued.

Oberleutnant Lehr ask you to wait, sir.
He Is on his way.

Thank you.

Hey, the new SBO's arrived.

What Is It?

Another brown Job,
only this one's all spit and Brasso.

You'll need your sunglasses on.

Good God|



Looks as though they picked him up
In Whitehall

Let's try It.

All right, keep your hair on.

Keep your hair on!

Road hog.

Oberleutnant Lehr.
- Good morning.

The Kommandant hopes
to be able to see you shortly.

Shall I go to my quarters first?

No, he won't be long.
Is this your batman?

Corporal Baker.

Show Corporal Baker
to the Colonel's quarters.

Really, Fliegerleutnant Carter?
That was a waste of time.

Welcome to Colditz. Shall we go?

Hey, what's the matter?
- Another shambles.



Well, Erich.
- Father.

Have you
said goodbye to your mother?

Yes, she's given me enough food
to last the week.

Well, she worries about you.
She can't help It.

I'll be back home again on leave
before she knows It.

Yes, I know, I know,
but you will write to her, won't you?

Yes, of course.
- When you can.

Just to let her know
you're all right, huh?

Sit down, sit down.

I've told her
there Is nothing to worry about.

I mean, my friends In France
are having a marvelous time.

And I'm very lucky
to get an operational posting so soon,

especially on Junkers 88s.

You know, that's the finest plane
In the world.

Yes. Still I expect
you'll have more training to do, huh?

With any luck,
I shall go straight on to operations.

Well, that's splendid. Splendid.
Something easy at first, huh?

Patrols over the North Sea,
until you get more experience?

I was talking to a friend
the other day.

He says everything's been easy

ever since we switched
to the night bombing of London.

There are no night fighters, you see,
and the anti-aircraft guns

are so Inaccurate
we Just have to laugh at them.

Well, that's excellent, of course.

I must go now, Father.

Look after yourself.

I'll send you some French brandy
and some perfume for Mother.

Yes, yes, she'll like that.

Goodbye, Father.
- Goodbye, Erich.

Good luck.

You were sent here to Colditz
to ensure you do not escape again.

And you will not escape again.

The sooner you grasp that,
the better for you.

Have you anything to say?

Thirty days solitary confinement.

Thirty?

The Kommandant has laid down
that In future,

that will be the minimum punishment
for any attempts to escape from here.

Come.

Lieutenant Colonel Preston, sir.

Please, uh, st down, Colonel

Thank you.

1 apologise for keeping you waiting
so long, Colonel,

but one of your officers
attempted to escape.

Yes, I was there. I saw It.

A very Ill-advised attempt, I thought.
- So did I

Indeed.
- Stupid and pointless.

We agree then. We agree.

All right, all right.

I gather that at your last camp,

you did not always agree
with your authorities.

Not always, no.

I see you fought In the Great War.

Yes.
- Myself also.

On the Somme. Were you there?

Yes.

I still find It hard to believe that men
could go through such slaughter.

So many young men.

At least this time, no one has suffered
such terrible losses, huh?

They may do so before the end.

I hope you're wrong, Colonel

Still, we are out of It. You and I.

Are you looking at my wall map?

This Is my way
of keeping In touch with things.

Is It up-to-date?
- Oh, yes.

Amended dally to, uh, mmm...
Embrace the current military situation.

Nothing on land, of course.
It's the Luftwaffe now.

The main target appears to be London.
- Yes.

There have been many
other heavy attacks, of course,

against, uh, Coventry
and Southampton and so on,

but the main effort
Is directed against London.

London has now been attacked
for many consecutive nights.

Where Is your family, Colonel?

My children are evacuated.

Good, good. And your wife also?

My wife, I think, Is still In London.
I had one letter some time ago.

She was driving an ambulance then.

Hmm.

Churchill should have made peace
when he had the chance.

Did you know your, uh, um,

predecessor, Major Donaldson,
Is a former senior British officer?

No.

It Is the duty of every officer
to attempt to escape, of course.

That Is agreed.

Yes.

But, when the situation Is hopeless,
when escape Is Impossible,

surely, then, an officer
Is relieved of that duty.

Major Donaldson did not take that view.

He actively encouraged
any attempt at escape, I'm afraid.

Every officer Is entitled
to his own opinion.

May I ask for yours, Colonel?

When escape Is Impossible,
I disapprove of futile attempts.

I should have asked you before,

uh, do you like a cigarette?

Thank you, no. I've taken up
enough of your time, already.

Oh, no, no, no, please.

The one thing we all have here,
Is plenty of time.

Oh, relax, Corporal, we don't go over
that sort of thing here.

We're looking for the Colonel
-He's still with the Kommandant, sir.

Well, how long does It take
to say hello and goodbye?

I'm sure I couldn't say, sir.

Well, tell Colonel Preston

that we're looking forward
to meeting him, will you?

Yes, sir.

You'll find that you have some, uh,
um, hot heads here, Colonel

Young men who think they should fight
the war single handed.

But there Is no war
to be fought In Colditz.

As one professional soldier to another,
you might agree with me, huh?

I am not a professional

I assume, uh, your rank.

Territorial army.
- Ah, yes.

You're, uh, um,

reserve army. Right.

I myself, of course,
had a spell In civilian life

under the Welmar Republic.

In a special camp like this,

there are bound to be many restrictions
placed upon the prisoners.

Inevitably.
- Are all those restrictions Inevitable?

Are you seeking special privileges
for the British officers?

I'm asking a question.

Strict measures are tedious
for everyone, not least my staff.

Any relaxation would require
your personal cooperation

and the weight of your authority
over your own men.

You may take It
that I shall accept responsibility

for any order that I may give.

It would be convenient for security

If we could segregate the nationalities,

the Poles from the British,
except In the courtyard, of course.

And why haven't you
enforced that before?

Uh, the Poles have been here
a long time,

and what Is more, they all appear
to be expert locksmiths, Colonel

They can open a door with a piece
of wire that I cannot open with a key.

And Major Donaldson encouraged a policy
of what he called International Liaison.

When was this camp last visited
by the protecting power?

Unfortunately, the Swiss authority
has not yet visited this camp.

When was the last Issue
of Red Cross parcels?

As yet, there has been no Issue at all.

There are administrative difficulties.

I.am In command of Colditz

but I cannot always do what I would
wish to do, you understand?

I can make no promises.

You seem to expect promises from me.

Your request for parcels Is a fair one.

Before Christmas?

In the meantime, I have your word
as a Senior British Officer,

to co-operate with me
In the matter of segregation?

You have.

Oh, hello, sir. I'm Captain Grant.

Pat Grant.
- Hello, Grant.

Who's the officer of the day?
- Sir.

The officer of the day?

Where do you post Dally Routine Orders?

Good God.

Well, don't have those either, sir.

Gentlemen, I will be obliged In future,

If you would take It In turns
to be officer of the day.

DRO's may not come out dally In fact,

but I think
they will help communication.

Yes, sir.
- Yes.

And now I would like to meet everyone
If you please.

The wine's cold.

And I asked for grouse, not pheasant.

You don't happen to have a pencil,
do you?

Pencil, uh, pencil...
Schreiben!

Now, this Is Captain Downing, sir.
- Downing.

Lieutenant Player, RN.
- Yeah.

How do you do, sir?

Flight Officer Muir.

Hello, Muir.
- Hello, sir.

And this Is Lieutenant Griffiths.

Griffiths.
- Sir.

Lieutenant McCloud.
- Sir.

McCloud.

Oh, and this Is
Flight Lieutenant Carter's bunk.

Oh, yes, I'll see him tomorrow.

Oh, you can't, sir.
Not when he's In solitary.

Well, no one can.
It's, uh, against regulations.

I see.

Well, gentlemen...
- Where did they pop you In the bag, sir?

Near Dunkirk.

I was on my way to a conference,

no one knew how far forward
the Germans had got,

I drove slap
Into a squadron of Jerry tanks.

Perhaps you would
have been better off

If you'd stayed with your unit, sir.

Possibly, yes.
- And how far did you get, sir?

What do you mean?
- When you escaped.

At my last camp, I was a special advisor
to Colonel Dawson, the SBO.

I made no escape attempts.

Well... I wonder why
they sent you here then, sir?

I don't know.
Those officers who aren't regulars,

what were their occupations
In peace time?

Oh, we've got all sorts, sir.

I was a civil engineer, uh,
John was a printer.

We've got two bankers,
accountant, lawyer.

Let me have a list of everyone's
profession and If they were regulars,

their speciality.

Very well, sir.
Is there any particular reason?

I thought we might start some classes,

hope to pass the time
more constructively.

Classes, sir?

Yes, uh, Downing.

There's a great deal that we can learn
from each other.

But I thought this was a special camp
for confirmed escapers, sir.

Who have failed to escape,
since you are all here.

Good night, gentlemen.

Definitely
a chairborne warrior...

Bah! He's not even a regular.
- Nor are lots of us.

How do you know, anyway?
- Oh, come on!

I can spot a Jumped up terrier
a mile off.

He put on his accent with his uniform
for a start.

He couldn't command a country club.

Well, thanks.

Hey, thanks very much.

You asked for a brief Interview,
Colonel?

To request permission
to visit Flight Lieutenant Carter.

Well, that's Impossible.
Carter Is In solitary confinement.

I claim the support
of the Geneva Convention.

Upon arrival, the Senior Officer Is
entitled to Interview all the officers

under his command,
to satisfy himself about their welfare.

Surely that cannot be taken
to mean men under punishment.

There Is no reference to punishment
whatsoever In this context.

I am therefore entitled to Interview
Flight Lieutenant Carter.

Very well, Colonel
Your request Is granted.

Thank you.

Good morning. My name Is Preston.

Flight Lieutenant Carter, sir.

Yes, I know who you are.
Uh, carry on, won't you?

Is everything all right?

Thirty days Is a long time, sir.

Yes, It Is, I'm afraid.

How did you get In here, sir?

I thought I wasn't
supposed to see anyone.

I claimed the support of
the Geneva Convention.

Oh. I don't know anything
about that, I'm afraid.

No. Not many people know It
off by heart.

Any more?
- No, sir.

Look something up for me, would you?
- Sir.

The provision regarding the rights of
a newly appointed Senior Officer.

Newly appointed...
- Not now.

In your own time, there's no hurry.

He couldn't wait to suck up to Jerry,
could he?

Perhaps he's got It In for the Poles.

A nice quiet life and no trouble,
that's what he wants.

He must have some good reason.

He hasn't got the guts to stand up
to Jerry, that's his good reason.

Why did you try to escape?
- Why, sir?

Just to cause the Germans
a bit of trouble, was that It?

To get back home.

You're married, I believe.
- Just about.

Two months. But I was on ops
most of the time.

What's her name?
- Kathy.

Had you known her long?
- Not really.

She was my girl,
and then we got married.

Yes, I know. It's not easy.

What's she like?
- She plays the violin.

It's funny how someone's face
lives with you.

Is she pretty?

She's got nice hair, brown eyes,
and a funny way of smiling.

So you wanted to get back
to your wife, did you?

Yes, sir.

Now, wouldn't that also mean
going back on operations?

I suppose so.

You know, I think this war
Is going to last a long time.

As an operational pilot, your chances
of survival will be very slim Indeed.

What's the alternative?

Do nothing and sit It out here
and not see her again for years?

No, no. I couldn't face that.

You're not supposed to be here, Willy.
- Why not?

Orders.
- The Germans?

British orders.

It's the new SBO.
A dirty trick If you ask me.

Also very awkward.

But perhaps not.

When you got Into that truck,
what were your plans?

To get away.

Do you speak German?
- No.

You have some German money?
- No.

Civilian clothes hidden away anywhere?
- No.

Identification papers, maps,
a route, anything at all?

If I'd got out, sir,
I'd have had a chance.

Deep In Germany, wearing RAF uniform,

you didn't stand
a snowball's chance In hell.

I'd do the same again, anytime.

How much nearer to your wife
do you think

another 30 days solitary
confinement Is going to get you?

You've probably been married
a long time, sir.

It's different for you.

You know the period between the wars

was a difficult time
for a great many of us.

I was one of those who even
tried a chicken farm.

Then there was the depression.

After that things did get
a little better,

I went Into the motorcar Industry,

but because of those ups and downs
I married rather late.

I was 40 when I met my wife, Caroline.

We have two children now.
We've been married seven years.

It doesn't seem a very long time to me.

That feeling you say you have,

you know that doesn't change
with the passing of a few years.

Well, at least you've had years, sir,
not weeks.

Yes.

But stupid escape attempts only keep
the Germans alert and on their mettle,

which Is bad for all
the other prisoners.

Another time think about that,
will you, Carter?

Oh, hello, Grant.

Hello, sir.
Could I have a word with you?

Oh, yes, of course.

All right, leave that now, Baker,
will you please?

Yes, sir.

Now, sit down, won't you?
- Well, perhaps I'd better not, sir.

Well?

This order enforcing the segregation
of the British and the Poles...

Yes?

And It reverses the policy
of the previous SBO, sir.

I'm aware of that.

Look, sir, I don't want to
seem Impertinent...

I hope not.

Major Donaldson was very well liked.
He always told us what the score was.

The score now Is In accordance
with DRO's.

Now, what I'm trying to say, sir, Is...

Well, we may seem a bit bolshie
but this Isn't like a fighting unit.

After all we've got nothing
to do all day,

except talk, think about escaping.

We're all slightly mad,
I suppose,

or we wouldn't be here
In the first place.

But If you could talk to everybody,
tell them how you see the situation.

That all?
- That's all, sir.

Very well. I'll talk to everybody
tomorrow morning after Appell.

Right, sir.

Gotcha!

Captain Grant has Indicated

that you might like to know
some of my thinking about Colditz.

First of all,

I have seen, like most of you,
too many men killed.

But at least they were killed In action.

Now, the Germans here are entitled
to shoot at escaping prisoners,

and they will.

I don't want to see any men killed
In useless escape attempts.

Look, sir what's that got to do
with the Poles?

This Is a very special camp.

Security Is much stricter here
than elsewhere,

conditions much tougher.

The Germans are constantly on the watch.

You've all caused them
a great deal of trouble In the past,

so they're going to bear down very hard
to make sure It doesn't happen again.

Now what I want to do
Is to lower the temperature,

get some of the restrictions lifted,

give ourselves a breathing space
so we can work out some sort of

strategy, a plan that we can
cope with this place.

I'll buy that, sir.

Now, the Poles are a damn good lot.

Hear, hear.

So why sell them short?

I gave away little of
practical advantage to either side,

In exchange for a possible benefit

which depends upon the
good offices of the Kommandant.

Since when did we start holding
hands with the Germans, sir?

You Just pray to God that we remain

under the control of the
Wehrmacht, Muir.

The SS would dearly like to
get their hands on us.

They think that they can solve
the problem of escapers In one.

And they probably could.
- I'm sorry, sir.

But that all sounds like a barrelful
of excuses for doing nothing to me.

Well, some of us think
there's still a war on.

And we're not afraid to go on fighting.

Want you think, Downing,
Is your own affair.

I have given an order,
and I expect It to be obeyed.

You were mistaken about
Geneva Convention.

There Is no such provision
as the one you quoted.

I did not actually quote It.
I claimed Its support.

I could regard this as deliberate
deception and take the matter seriously.

I'm no longer sure I can rely
on your word, Colonel

I gave my order on the understanding
that I could rely upon yours.

You will kindly extend to me
the same courtesy.

Very well, Colonel, you may go.

I see he's finished fawning
on the Jerries.

You're wrong, sir. Excuse me for
saying so, sir, but you are.

That's all right, Corporal, we know
you're bound to stick up for him.

Sir, I've seen him In action.

You see, sir, he always said that Jerry
would try and break through with tanks,

and we had to find some way of knowing
what was happening or there'd be panic.

So he used motorcyclists, sir.

Hmm?

He formed a long Range Reconnaissance
and Penetration Group, sir.

Sixty of us armed with
light machine guns.

We could move faster
than Jerry, you see, sir.

And we ambushed
a column of Infantry lorries,

destroyed all the lorries,
and made Jerry turn tail and run, sir.

Yes, good try, Corporal,
but that's typical

Play tip-and-run Instead of
going for them bald-headed.

And then he finds a convenient
conference he can slope off to.

I don't like all of this.
You'd think he was Infectious.

Wotcher.
- Hello.

How long do you think?

At this rate, nearly a month
before It Is big enough.

With any luck,
you'll be home by Christmas?

Yes.

My home was In Warsaw.

Was?

I don't believe It.

Red Cross parcels.

Red Cross parcels.

Hey, Red Cross parcels!

Hey, Red Cross parcels|

Red Cross parcels!

About time too.

You will be glad to know
the reason for the delay.

The first consignment of
Red Cross parcels has arrived.

They say that the Führer himself
has authorised this

as a gesture of Christmas goodwill

I'll bet my Aunt Fanny told you that.

No. No, It was the lorry driver,
who heard It In Leipzig.

Meatloaf, butter.
- Condensed milk, teal Real teal

Chocolate!

Anyone know what powdered egg Is?
- I know what corned beef Is.

I used to give my bit of
skirt chocolate.

Give It away, mind you.
I must have been out of my mind.

Who the devil gave authority for
those parcels to be Issued?

The Germans, sir.
- Did they? Who's the officer of the day?

I am, sir.
- I want the entire consignment collected

taken to my quarters,
until I decide the rate of Issue.

Yes, sir.

And that Includes every piece
of string and every scrap of cardboard.

Yes, sir.

There's one parcel for each of us, sir.

And what do you Intend to do?
Eat all yours now?

You, Downing, will take an Inventory
of the entire contents.

You will then discuss with me
which parcels are Issued

and which are kept back for emergencies.

All of It, sir?
- Yes, all of It.

It may be months before
we receive any more parcels.

So until then we conserve our resources.

Come on. We're behaving
like a bunch of Idiots.

Sorry.

Count them again.

Yes?

One Polish officer missing, sir.

Any sign of an escape trail?

A rope made from strips of
torn up sheet, hanging from a window.

But I don't think It was used.
- Why not?

The rope's too short.
Underneath, the ground Is muddy.

If he had dropped from the rope
there would be Impressions In the mud.

So he's lying low somewhere In Colditz.

In my opinion, yes, sir.

Very well. Search the Polish quarters
and the adjoining areas.

Including the British quarters?
- No, that's not necessary.

Colonel Preston wouldn't allow him
to be concealed there.

I hear one of the Poles got away.
- Mmm. Apparently.

Though Jerry's searching the castle
for some reason.

What's all this about the Poles not
being allowed near our quarters?

It happened when you were In solitary.

SBO's orders.

You know, he tore me off a strip
for trying to escape.

1 suppose he wants a nice, quiet war.

He looks In a bad way.

If he's been In the hands
of the Gestapo, I'm not surprised.

Come In.

My apologies for
disturbing you, Colonel

You have heard that one of the
Polish officers Is missing?

Yes.
- We think he Is still here In Colditz.

In hiding somewhere. Or being hidden.
- Yes.

However, a thorough search of the
entire castle has revealed nothing.

The entire castle, that Is with the
exception of the British quarters.

I gave my order, and made It clear
that It was to be obeyed.

I must ask you to understand
my difficulty.

Difficulty?

My security officer now wishes
to search the British quarters.

If I were to refuse It would place me
In an Impossible situation

In relation to higher authority.

I did not give my word
to higher authority. I gave It to you.

I must make It understood
that any search of the British quarters

for a Polish Officer will be
a direct breach of good faith.

I respect everything you say, Colonel,
but I have no choice.

Now, you and I know that It Is a mere
formality, nothing more. Mmm?

But, with regret,

I must ask you to assemble all your
officers In their quarters at once.

Herr Leutnant!
Herr Leutnant!

Gut

Colonel Preston, If you please.

You can come out now.

From your Red Cross parcels,
I think, Colonel

I shall Inform the
Kommandant of this, Colonel,

He will no doubt wish to
speak to you about It.

Which one of you disobeyed my orders?

Gentlemen, you are officers who
hold the King's Commission,

not a bunch of schoolboys,
I will ask the question once again.

Which one of you disobeyed my order?

You?
- Yes, sir.

Why?
- It seemed like a good opportunity, sir.

Explain yourself.

I didn't think they'd Look
for him here, sir.

Go on.

He was going to hole up
till the hue and cry died down,

then he was going to take my place
when we went to the exercise park

and go to ground In the air raid
shelter there and then try and...

With whom did you discuss this plan?
- No one, sir.

Just a bright Idea that the pair of you
cooked up, Is that It?

Yes, sir. But It could have worked...
- Could It?

So far, I have witnessed
two escape attempts from this camp,

neither of which stood the remotest
possible chance of success.

Now, gentlemen, Just get It through
your heads that you are not escapers.

You are failed escapers.

And you will go on falling

as long as you behave like
boy scouts at a summer camp.

We are deep In Germany,
400 miles from the Swiss border.

Now, to have any chance of success,

an escape attempt must be
discussed and approved,

knowledge pooled and help given.

How far do you think
you are going to get

without civilian clothes,
Identification paper,

money, maps, a route, a cover story.

Now, all these things need
careful planning and good discipline.

We needed time, gentlemen.

We needed the Germans off our backs,
lulled Into a false sense of security.

Now, we had some prospect of gaining
that time, but now we won't get It

because you had a bright Idea.

Because you thought you saw
a good opportunity.

Because at your age
you think you know It all.

You and a number of others amongst you.

A direct breach of good faith
I believe you said, Colonel Preston.

Am I to assume I can no longer take
the word of the Senior British Officer?

I.am entitled to
an explanation, Colonel

I have none to offer.

You agreed to cooperate with
my policy of segregation,

If, In return, I would obtain
your Red Cross parcels.

I went through considerable trouble
to get that consignment.

It was not easy, but I felt I was
dealing with an honorable man.

So, having got your parcels,
you at once break your word.

Is this your conception of honor
In the British Army?

Sir.
- The Kommandant is addressing me, Muir.

Yes, sir, but I...
- Be quiet, man!

May I ask If one of your officers
disobeyed your orders, Colonel?

Internal discipline among
the British officers Is my concern.

That, of course,
would put a completely different

complexion on the matter.

The officer concerned will be punished,

but there would be no need to
withdraw any privileges.

There Is only one officer responsible
and that Is myself.

1 respect what you say, Kommandant,
but I accept full responsibility.

Very well, Colonel It will be 14 days'
solitary confinement.

Also there will be five Appells a day

at two hourly Intervals
for the next seven days.

If there Is any breach of the rules
during that time,

this will be extended to
another seven days and so on.

You have no right to Issue a general
punishment for a specific offense.

If you choose to make up
your own rules, Colonel,

I must make up mine also.

Perhaps It will teach your officers
to obey orders.

Well, gentlemen, I'm sorry,
It appears you're going to be spending

the next week more or less
permanently on parade.

No, Jerry'll get Just as fed up
with It as we shall, sir.

Yes, possibly.

As regards the Polish officers,

we revert to the former
policy of liaison.

But gentlemen,
I will be obliged In future

If my orders are carried out
to the letter.

Thank you, Baker.