Cobra (1993–1994): Season 1, Episode 7 - Mr. Chapman, I Presume - full transcript

oh

shipment came in just like chapman said

it would his info

is good

mr masters trent ship has been busted

the feds meet us here and they clearly

knew everything

that confirms it chapman's got us

trent keep me informed more trouble with

chapman

the man is good



masters hiya brent what's the word

all right mr chapman you've got my

attention

so you heard about the warehouse it was

just the furs this time but no telling

what kind of a legal shipment of yours

i'll tell the fists about next time

tell me chapman how is it a man i've

never met before not so much about me

i'm your shadow masters even in the dark

if you have any doubts left just take a

look under the lamp on your desk

you know the brass one

no matter where you go i see you no



matter what you say

i hear you

i've got you wired in places you never

even thought of

now i've got enough tape conversations

of you to send you to prison for 30

years

from counterfeit furs to colonel physio

what do you want chapman

a piece of your action go ahead make

your bid

perhaps we should meet face to face

immediately love to but i have tickets

to the ballet tonight

and my wife never lets me mix business

with pleasure

think about it

yes mr masters i don't care how much it

costs to how long it takes i want you to

find chapman

and kill him yes sir

so

about once a year i have one of those

days when everything goes wrong

you know the kind no matter what you do

or say you end up feeling like a fire

hydrant a world full of well-quenched

labradors

well somehow i felt like i was about to

have one of those days

no no

i always have those hydrant days around

my birthday and unfortunately well

it was that time a year

if you would have read the memo you

would have known that the water was

going to be turned off

00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:53,360
ballet's bad enough but this monkey

suits going overboard

oh come on stop grumbling look nice

you know when you said you had a

surprise for me the ballet wasn't

exactly what i had in mind

scandal my friend mrs chaplin was nice

enough to give up her seats okay so just

for once

try and have an open mind

chaplain two reserved seats please

hey danny what this guy's wearing tights

football players wear tights at least

they're doing something respectable like

killing each other

here no culture won't kill you

culture

mr chapman

it's at halftime

wants popcorn

don't worry

popcorn no butter

milk dead

if you walk between us you will say

nothing

it's some kind of joke right right we're

laughing on the inside

let's go whoa whoa whoa wait wait

wait a second dallas sent you guys to

rescue me there's a 45 automatic pistol

pressed against your spinal column i

strongly recommend

no more errors in judgment

whoa

look this is my birthday pal and truth

is i've had just about enough of the

both of you

wait

um

for a man with fifth row orchestra seats

you're not quite what i pictured

i met larry and curly you must be mo

i hope your willingness to cooperate

exceeds your taste in tuxedos

blender have you met our guest my

assistant's a great

admirer of your methods we've swept the

estate several times looking for your

surveillance equipment no need to clean

out my account

you were in the face of danger i respect

that mr chapman

chapman name's jackson

scandal jackson you see your

bozo's here grab the wrong guy i

whoa hey now

your id as an investigator is quite

convincing unfortunately

not convincing enough

now your fingerprints match those of a

dead navy seal but your face doesn't

as a matter of fact there's absolutely

no record of your face we can find

look it's a long story i'm sure but what

i want now

chapman of the tips i don't know what

you're talking about

you made a big mistake thinking that you

could frighten me with extortion and

blackmail

what glinda

do whatever is necessary to see that mr

chapman cooperates

and make it look like an accident whoa

whoa whoa wait a minute

whoa no come on

no no no come on please

oh

ah

oh where is he he walked out on me he

hated the ballet that much

i guess what about the party i don't

know

i called his apartment the juice bar

every other place i could possibly think

of

i don't get it neither do i i take him

to the ballet he lasts 10 minutes five

of which he was sleeping and then he

just walks out

just disappears

still nothing first he said he was

robert jackson jr then he said he was tj

johnson and he spoke in a native tongue

i think inuit

now he says he's scandal jackson i want

those tips

make them talk

i told you no

now for the last time what is your name

my name is scandal jackson

this guy's program which started with

pain we'd have been done hours ago

you're right the condition he's in now

he wouldn't feel a thing

we'll let him sleep then you can make

him talk

so

so

now

so

outside

so

it's a cop let's get out of here

all right pal out of the car

boy am i glad to see you these guys

kidnapped me tried to kill me

who two guys in the gray sedan

sir sir placing you under arrest for

driving under the influence

there were two guys

scandal are you okay peachy

good now i can kill you

okay folks sign here and he's all yours

i know it's your bail money but if it

was up to me i'd leave him in the lockup

for 30 days

just to teach him a lesson do you heard

anybody no

well that's the only good news stolen

vehicle driving under the influence

i wasn't drinking i was drunk guys no i

don't drink and drive

true it was definitely some kind of

controlled substance we'll know for sure

when we get the blood test back tomorrow

the bottom line is you shouldn't have

been driving

good job drugged kidnapped

scandal if you hated the valet that

watched why didn't you just say so

look i know it sounds crazy because it

was

forget about it i've had a few birthday

bashes my day got a little crazy

didn't have a bash i got bashed and i'll

prove it to you the guy's name is

masters

brett masters scandal this is one of the

city's best-known civic leaders

its reputation is unblemished the guy

gives more money to charity than robin

hood

yeah well something's rotten in denver

denmark whatever

ah here she is ask her excuse us do you

know this man

not until last night i didn't if you

think you can just

pick me up in a bar like that fly me

with liquor just to get me into bed and

then

run out on me without a word to think

again

and as if scandal is your real

i don't know what she's talking about

you don't believe me we trust your

scandal it's just that everything you've

said so far is a little hard to believe

that's all

somebody went through a lot of trouble

to make me look stupid

probably no trouble at all look at this

scandal's kidnapper was named the

mayor's man of the year

great cover boy the office give you an

envelope for me

yeah yeah yeah oh before i give it to

you

come on level with me what was she like

who

glenda

what'd you say well brett masters kept

talking about a wendell chapman so i

thought i'd find the guy

how do you expect to do that your

computers

oh i see the office traced chapman's

ballet tickets

they were ordered on his credit card

through the ticket broker at the

maradine he's registered there

i may have missed my surprise party but

i have one plan for mr chapman

but there's one thing i hate more than

getting out of the shower to a wet towel

is getting sucker with a wet towel the

only thing that makes you feel better is

getting a dry one

but when you're sucker the only thing

that makes you feel better

is getting

hi i'd like to send a dozen roses to the

room of mrs wendell chapman please

you have a card to go with that please

great

i got flowers for chapman room 531

what the hell you doing in my room i'm

sorry mr chapman no one answered when i

knocked

i was told to deliver these roses to

your wife

to my wife the hell's sending roses to

my wife

i was just told to deliver thank you for

our special time

for a dolphin

who the hell is awful i don't know sir i

take these weeds with you get the hell

out

you know chapman

for matt with this kind of wardrobe you

sure are a lousy dresser

i'm not chaplin that's not what you just

told the bell boy

wait

federal agent bernstein i'm looking for

wendell chapman

oh i know oh

my name is kendall jackson ow

listen chapman or jackson

or whatever it is you want to call

yourself

don't make me ask you twice where are

the tapes

look you got the wrong guy ow

middle agent freeze

mr hughes this is bernstein i'm in

chapman's room now the place is full of

listening devices

it was uh chairman and master's men they

all got away

all right i saw myself wendell chapman

and scandal jackson are definitely the

same person

ow i'm sorry but it looks terrible

oh i gotta get smacked in the nose for

you guys to believe me

well i'm sorry i didn't believe you from

the start could i got something here

it's going to convince everybody it's

the blood test

from the police arrest discount for

reckless driving there are traces of

sodium pentathol in your bloodstream

truth serum

oh scandal i'm sorry forget about it

what we need to do is just figure out

our next move all right

mr chapman i presume

here we go again i'm used this is

bernstein we're government agents

and i'm not chapman cut the charades we

know you're chairman

he's not chapman really then i suppose

it was just a coincidence that he had

chapman's tickets for the ballet that

the bell boy at the marathon i did him

as chapman and that i saw him running

out of chapman's room

key word pal coincidence listen jackson

and chapman or whatever you want to call

yourself i don't care how or why you

became involved in all this

but let me tell you right now the us

government does not make deals

we want the tapes bernstein wait in the

car

are you sure i'll be fine

mr hughes from one old g-man to another

you clearly on here on a social visit

very astute mr castle

and you must be daniel lapoint correct

yes

i don't look so surprised i'm well aware

of cobra and the good and honorable work

you do that's why i'm here

to ask your associate mr jackson a favor

oh

now i'm jackson i'm not aware that

you're not wendell chapman

well you and your muscle got a funny way

of showing it oh you'll have to forgive

bernstein he's much younger and much

more eager than i've been in a long long

time

so what's the favor i want you to lay

low for a couple of days and forget

everything that's happened in the last

24 hours

you're right if you don't it could get

dangerous

it could get dangerous he's already been

kidnapped beaten jabbed with needles

look if you want me to cooperate i want

to know what the hell's going on

very well but not here

there's no argument for me you have

every right to know the situation

please understand that what i'm about to

tell you must be held in strict

confidence

wendell chapman is a freelance

opportunist

who somehow has managed to

electronically tape vital conversations

regarding a black market operation run

by a prominent figure

brett masters so what's the mayor's man

of the year into

smuggling of all kinds but what matters

to me is his newest endeavor

plutonium ten pounds of weapons grade is

to be shipped out very soon

unfortunately we don't know where it

went but chapman does right

chapman works for the highest bidder and

we intend to win that action

and scandal being mistaken for chapman

has complicated your operations

in my life none of you and covert would

lay off for a day or two

until we get masters and chapman out of

the way

everything will be back to normal

what am i gonna do laying off for two

days get some sun

relax jump absolutely you're not as

young as you used to be scandal

cute why should i trust you

masters has had you on a roller coaster

the last 24 hours

i'm giving you a chance to get off

yes colonel i understand it will work

out

problems colonel fazil is making threats

about the plutonium shipment

i don't like the way this is working out

get everything together we move tonight

where we headed

i'll let you know when we get there what

about chapman

trent make sure chapman is dead and

buried

just when i thought my string of bad

days was over i found myself being a

fire hydrant again

only this time it wasn't a labrador i

had to worry about

was two pit bulls and unfortunately

hiking their legs wasn't what they had

in mind

like it or not i'm back in the game i

thought you agreed to let mr hughes

protect you

the only thing mr hughes can protect me

from is a tax audit

meanwhile masters has got a bull's-eye

on my back

where you off to now i'm gonna find

chapman

put the bullseye back where it belongs

wait for me

scandal this is

he's in the shower it's time for the

naked truth

there's a woman in the shower get out of

here i'm gonna call security

we will just tell us where wendell is

wendell

wendell who your husband mrs chapman

chapman i'm not mr chapman then who are

you

this is mary pierce well she just

checked in

hell of a welcome how are we supposed to

know that chapman checked out

you might have asked but it's okay cover

cop the room settle it down a couple of

fruit baskets she's not pressing charges

it's my fault dallas that my emotions

get in the way

chapman's got me crazy it's like i'm

chasing a ghost in that case

let's take it from the top again what do

we know about this guy chapman

chapman has tapes about masters

plutonium shipment

yes and hughes needs them to stop it

perfect so far and chapman's playing

both sides against the middle holding

out for the highest bidder

right but what do we really know about

this guy he has great ballet seats and

his credit report says that he's wealthy

from all indications he could bug the

president's bedroom if he thought there

was anything going on in their worth

here

all this in four bits will get us a bus

ride yeah we don't even know what the

guy looks like

no one's ever seen him scandal's right

we're chasing a ghost

the question is how do you find an

invisible man

we can't it's perfect we can't find him

we can't find chapman because he is

invisible

scandal take it easy this is bay city

not the twilight zone

wrong nobody's seeing chapman because he

doesn't exist he's not

real and neither are the tapes bingo

time for another talk with mr hughes

right but on our terms

dallas use the credit card number the

office traced from the ballet tickets

book a suite at the maradyne put it

under the name of wendell

chapman but you just said chapman

doesn't exist

he does now

beautiful hmm

thank the chef for me will ya looks like

an icing on raw flecks leo stitch it up

and take the wife off for once on me

i had a feeling i'd find you at the end

of this rope mr

hughes how nice to see you if you wanted

my attention you could have just called

why so you can lie to us again champagne

how nice

i know you're footing the bill piece of

advice mr jackson

go home the last time he took your

advice he was nearly turned into swiss

cheese

yeah i heard about that i'm very sorry

look all i want is a truth most of which

scandal's already figured out

well i'd be interested in hearing your

version of it

may i yes you may

first off nobody's seen chaplain because

there is no chapman

you created chapman you put the clothes

in his closet the butts in his ashtray

all very convincing but what didn't make

sense

was why you left such an open trail to

chapman unless

you wanted masters to follow it now why

would you want him following a phantom

that doesn't exist

so he wouldn't discover the mole you

planted inside his own operation the

mole

who is feeding you masters every move

a very attractive mole at that i don't

know it was glenda

trent and willoughby are anxious to kill

me glenda had a chance and didn't

mr hughes sound right to you

absolutely correct my plan was working

perfectly well until you personified my

invisible man

but little information glenda was

getting from masters is stopped he's

clammed up

now masters can make his plutonium deal

and all my work will be for not

there's only one person that can stop

the plutonium shipment and stop masters

from killing me

wendell chapman

our itinerary is all set the pilot needs

a time just tell him to stand by

but he needs to plot a course and why

are you always asking me these questions

just tell them i'll let them know the

destination once we're in the air

master's here i'm glad i got to you

before you caught your plane

mr chapman what can i do for you well

you can give me five million to keep my

mouth shut about your plutonium going

out tonight

you know nothing fine i'll just take my

info to the feds either way i get paid

where when one hour

pier six

check the tracking transmitter

right on time those are tapes

that's the 5ml

made america great i mean where else can

a guy pull down 11 mil in two hours

11. oh yeah i'm on federal payroll too

see they paid me 6 million for the info

on your shipment

and right about now they're at christian

pier

scooping up your plutonium it's a

perfect deal

and being the businessman i am well you

got greedy it's been a pleasure mr

chapman

shipment awaits

weapons great plutonium as promised do

you hope you'll give colonel fazil my

best i know he'll be pleased

i know i am how the hell did you

do

if i don't make it out of here she dies

champion

hello

you okay

you'll die for this chapman

no i don't think so

and my name's not chapman

huh

the one in the white tutu is distraught

she just lost her husband

i thought i was having a bad couple of

days

she's a very good dancer i thought you

didn't like valet

might say i'm just trying to have an

open mind

it's beautiful

it's so so elegant

you