Cobra (1993–1994): Season 1, Episode 14 - Lost in Cyberspace - full transcript

Cobra must rescue a kidnapped female computer security consultant.

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password

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take some time

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i know how your system works

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just one more bite

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yes



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athena

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athena

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female

[Applause]

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so

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[Applause]

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no um no now

what's going on

what's going on dallas said something

about being held hostage and then the

phone went out

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well i am we are this whole villain runs

on my system and my system's been taken

over by outside sources

well how no idea what's wrong with your

face

whoever took over your computer to go

over my razor is ridiculous

boom cobra

no ma'am i'm sorry but this is not

directory assistance for poughkeepsie

the mainframe's talking mandarin chinese

come on dallas do something

we gotta shut this thing down before it

melts

it's a greek god of love i don't care if

it's the greek god of guaranteed hair

growth i'm gonna kick his butt

yeah well that makes two of us

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you know in case you haven't checked

lately breaking into computer is a

felony in this state love god

my name's warren binder someone

kidnapped my girlfriend last night so i

bowed your main fame to get your

attention congratulations you got it

why didn't you just go to the police i

did they didn't believe me but you've

got to

i can't live without her please help me

please what's your girlfriend's name

i wish you knew her like i do she's so

beautiful

so caring so loving we've shared so much

together i know you'd like her

look she does have a name doesn't she of

course she does

i just don't know it

you don't know your girlfriend's name

there's more to a person than her name

there's her soul

and her soul is so beautiful

and sensitive and and uh okay what does

she look like

and you don't even know what she looks

like no

but she means everything to me without

her i'm combiner

we're just about to back on planet earth

wait

i only know her handle in the matrix or

what

the name she goes by when she's

communicating via computer in cyberspace

exactly thank god somebody finally

understands

she calls herself athena we met and we

found love in the matrix

and now she's gone

can't you help me find her please

would you excuse us just for a moment

matrix said the greek word for nut house

listen scandal a lot of people aren't as

comfortable with the outside world as

you and i might be

i mean it's clearly broken-hearted

well haven't you ever been enough well

yeah

but at least i knew what they look like

next sometimes i even knew their name

it's valentine's day oh come on guys

let's have a heart

mr beiner do you have anything we could

use to start looking for your girlfriend

i met her on the pirate network it's bbs

a bb s it's a computer bulletin board

service

electronic singles bar now you're

catching on

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touch it and die i was just gonna give

it a little tune-up yeah well you can

just forget about it

because with the talent on revamping

this system you're gonna have an easier

time breaking into the louvre

if it makes you feel any better it took

me the better part of a morning to break

into that computer the first time

the morning yep

good morning

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i take it you found the pirate network

yep

and the trailer park run by a couple of

cave dwellers with a computer

and two phone lines well cyber dwellers

can be a little shy and

awkward with strangers these guys are

from another planet danny

and the cyclops concise op

system operator well whatever he calls

himself captain trips

i know i'm online with him right now

he's very funny

he's articulate he's brilliant he knows

more about classical music and

impressionistic art than anybody i've

ever met

danny this guy weighs 400 pounds and has

chunks of gravy train in his beard

so so

so that doesn't change the beauty of his

soul

and besides he just gave me athena's

real name and address

dolores brown isn't that a beautiful

name

it's a beautiful name

let's see what i can find i want to go

no

you know it might be a good idea to take

him i mean he and athena

he and dolores speak the same language

you might need him to translate in case

you run into a big bad cyclops

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come on

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smell the patchouli it's her favorite

scent

it's like heaven

heaven my grandma used to keep rats away

there must be something here that we can

use for a lead right here

to think her hands caress these keys

look at this she's kept every bouquet

off center

electronic flowers very romantic

you don't think you can bond with

another person through a computer do you

i didn't say that look at this

henson pharmaceuticals in-house report

top secret

huh and this

bilson electronics architectural

diagrams

now what's miss wonderful doing with

privileged information like this

huh maybe she's a stockholder

maybe she has a criminal record athena

was arrested in 12th grade for hacking

her way into the arp net defense

computers yeah

she's pretty proud of that one you

believe she pulled all that off when she

was in high school

i guess that beats joining the chess

club huh well that kind of skill

explains how she got these

incorporations guard this stuff like it

was gold she clearly has the smarts to

gain the highest level access

into all of their systems maybe she was

too smart and found out something she

wasn't supposed to

hey warren expecting a fax

maybe yeah well warthog said he was

seduced by the leather mistress and now

he's too weak to rescue the snood

[Applause]

i told him not to storm that castle this

one here is from the cosmic commander

who is in danger of being raided if he

doesn't turn over the payload to the

sions before

i had my my fax number forwarded

well just in case you're not aware of it

this office is not your dungeon and i'm

not your dragon so you could tell your

warthogs out there

the black knight has drained the moat

got it

forget the warthogs tell athena what

this one's from athena

[Applause]

benson industrial technologies wednesday

five o'clock help me please

fence and electronics it's up here on

the left

not a bad car you got here scandal

of course the braking system is

hopelessly archaic

and if you try driving on cobblestones

you're gonna need six months of traction

you've driven a cobra in scotland we

drove it all over europe actually

until the engine caught fire halfway up

mount blanc and then athena and i had to

catch a ride in a hay wagon just to get

the

wait a minute wait a minute you drove

across europe with a woman you never met

we did it on the computer i had a cobra

simulator and athena designed a

landscape cultural interface program and

together we toured the globe

let me tell you something warren that

wasn't the real world

that was a video game

[Applause]

your hero die a hero move in your dusty

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we're out of here sorry boys we got you

going out heroes after all

one run forget them come on

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you and your real world

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i can't believe we're just sitting

around while athena's trapped somewhere

with those insane psychopathic

gun-toting monsters from hell

you've been playing too many computer

games boy

monsters from hell we should be out in

the street vaporizing those suckers

take it from me that's the only way i've

done it before yeah sure

with a joystick baby

look warren this isn't a computer game

okay

these are real guys with real guns i

understand hmm

that real life is a bit more complicated

and dangerous

we know you're itching to do something

so are we but we need some solid facts

first

well here's something for you to ponder

vincent industrial technologies have a

completely computerized delivery

schedule

and because state-of-the-art technology

is often part of their payload the codes

are very closely guarded very protected

maybe some of this wall stings through

the back door like athena

you think maybe uh she broke into

vengeance computer same way that this

character broke in ours

it'd take me five minutes and probably

take her three i'll look into it

somebody went through a lot of trouble

to steal something that something is a

00:17:03,199 --> 00:17:06,640
000 industrial laser well my guess is

they didn't steal it to put on a light

show

three two one go

40 seconds

30 seconds

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20 seconds

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security beams neutralized

10 seconds can't do this in 10

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we just got caught and you just got

killed

you shave a minute off this time guys

are you gonna be doing time

yes mr coats

uh one more thing sir

some of all those guys ran into today

has been bugging me

yeah well i don't blame you for not

wasting them but next time say hello

with a bullet all right

that's not it i think i saw one of them

before

the geeky one was there when we snatched

her

dolores

you didn't mention anything about a

boyfriend

who said anything about a boyfriend your

face just did

he's twice the man you'll ever be is

that so

i've seen him take out six iron men with

his bare hands and when he's got a

photon weapon he's completely

unstoppable

which one is he dolores mario or luigi

yeah laugh if you want underestimate

arrows

but his brilliance will make you regret

you ever did it yeah

well until aeros comes in and blasts me

with his fazer i'll take my chances

until then i suggest you keep working

and you keep a closer eye on her okay

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all right you guys are gonna love this

all these confidential corporate

documents you found at delores place

yesterday

turns out she was hired by all those

organizations

for what purpose to break in makes sense

well you want to know how a crook thinks

you hire a crook she's not a crook yeah

well what is she warren

she's a genius a visionary a cyberspace

goddess

actually she's a security systems

consultant well i guess security systems

consultant cyberspace goddess was just

too much for one business card

she gets paid to hack into computer

systems and then design countermeasures

to make them impregnable

check this out one of her clients was

vincent industrial technologies

and you think somebody may be kidnapped

dolores so as to break into a system she

designed

yep and that's why she was trying to

warn us now that they have what they

want well

i don't think they went to all that

trouble for an industrial laser not

exactly a hot item on the black market

they needed it for something else

which means they still need her i'll get

a list of her clients and see if i can

find any obvious targets

hey don't worry warren she's still alive

she got through to us once so do it

again

just gotta be patient

very nice i would have preferred to say

with hallmark but it'll do

please don't hurt him ah dolores if he's

the photon warrior you say

is he's got six or seven lives long

harris has never done anything to you

you've got me just leave it at that yeah

i got you and there's a danger of

needing someone to do something you

can't do

a danger that they'll take advantage you

need me alive

right yeah but i don't care if you're

missing an ear

or an eye the point is

i need you to concentrate on the task at

hand

otherwise someone's going to get killed

or

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maimed

i hope we understand each other better

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now

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it's from her

meet me alone west side industrial park

9 p.m tonight my life depends on it

dolores what do you think another

robbery there's some high-tech companies

over there a couple of retail outlets a

storage facility

it could be anything she signed a real

name

what are we waiting for now hold on

there and i'm just i'm not too sure

about this

he's right dallas we have no choice but

you both nearly got killed last time

well at least we know what to expect

right

come on

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you know for a guy who hates to get out

be sure to get out of line

it's for athena nothing else believe me

out here can't compare with where i live

oh no yeah

in cyberspace life is ideal there's

nothing to contaminate that ideal

like all those digitized roses i sent to

athena

they're forever so alive they never die

yeah but how do they smell i don't

understand

yeah you do that's why you and dolores

had to meet in person

now look a way to stay right here and

keep your head down

what and look the other way while athena

gets killed

no no way look warren

you're not sitting at your keyboard you

get free prize playing this game you

don't come back

you understand

dunk your head

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duck

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howdy boys

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thank you for being so prompt

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nice night for a major heist day we'll

try and make this as painless as

possible

take him across the lot and kill him

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it's that time

you okay yeah

not bad for guys who want to drive in

the simulator

thanks they were gonna kill you weren't

they

yeah that's too real

way too real

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i'll drive

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[Applause]

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why would she lead you into a trap she

didn't someone put a gun to her head

that's why she signed a real name it was

a warning so we're right back to where

we started from no clue as to where she

is

let's backtrack the facts and we'll find

her now i already thought about that the

phone company's not budging they'd have

to check through every one of their

accounts to find out who's making those

fax calls could take weeks

so let's break into their system

impossible their system is locked in

tighter than oprah's girdle

we don't need to break in if we have the

password they got their system tighter

norad guards the button

i can get it i got yours you what

oh yeah it was easy

so how do we get it

oh it stinks in here you were right

scandal

this is what life's all about

we're standing in a dumpster we're

dumpster diving

dumpster diving yeah we'll find out

anything about anybody by going through

their trash

did you know dallas has placed over 20

orders with victoria's secret in the

last two years

dallas was in the lingerie and

danielle's sister margaret is being sued

again for begging me

no danielle's paying the legal fees but

the old man doesn't know anything about

it

wait a minute lingerie

bigamy i mean you found all this out

from trash mm-hmm

warren what do you know about me you

yeah you eat more pop-tarts and velveeta

than any adult alive

but i respect that there's something

else warren

you were right about life being out here

oh yeah i had to experience life

experience risk experience the real

world

yeah and real garbage i'm serious i've

been doing a lot of thinking about what

you said earlier

about about why athena

delores and i decided to meet

which was we wanted more what we had

wasn't enough it was still somehow

lonely

i guess it'd be hard to snuggle up to a

computer on a cold night huh

i don't believe it

[Applause]

i don't believe it what's this

[Applause]

pure gold

[Applause]

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24 25

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00:29:55,470 --> 00:29:58,480
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28 done

all right good girl two seconds left

i knew i could count on you

what'd you guys find in that dumpster

this is an executive personnel file we

can find out a password from this

easy you know i hope you boys plan to

burn those duds you're wearing

no problem maybe we can order some 90s

from victoria's secret

all right here's one this guy's

daughter's name is heather

people use their kids names a lot

nope that's not it are you certain this

was gonna work

sure how do you think i figured out your

password

what was it garter belt

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this guy's hobby was skiing

try slalom

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goggles

downhill

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ski patrol

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i got it i found it we're in

the two facts calls from athena were

from this number

you have an address

that's the warehouse district good job

come on

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athena athena's arrows

looks like she's gone

[Music]

we've got to find her

i just hope we find him before it's too

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late

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i think they were using this place to

rehearse the heist makes sense

and if they needed athena then the heist

had to be somebody she designed a

security system for

guys look what i found well that thing

is pulverized

you'd be lucky to get a glitch over that

we'll see i'm going to download it into

my laptop

worn

would it be possible to use an

industrial laser to pull a security

system into thinking that it hadn't been

penetrated

only if you can write a new program to

intercept the system's computer

which is exactly what it looks like

athena did holy smokes you actually

pulled data after that junk disk

that fast i gotta hand the deal kid you

are top drawer

thanks but athena's the real genius

this is jam-packed with code code yeah

in layman's terms the laser is going to

fool the system

and break them into the vault

question is where's the heist going down

athena's security system's client list

must have 200 names on it

chances are gonna kill her after the

heist we need a road map just to wade

through all these

just like they'll need a road map to hit

their target

warren call up the floor plans dolores

has been working from

all right great now cross-check them

against the floor plans of the systems

she designed

good

bingo looks like these two shoes make a

nice pair

the berrard archives that's it let's go

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over there

okay baby get ready to start working at

magic

[Music]

you gotta move fast then where's the

ball fourth floor

east side of the building i'm in

dang the elevators are locked out can

you override

i did with your piece of cake system

didn't i just type

come on lauren yes

i'm in our carriage awaits

you just stay right here look i've come

this far dolores and i were kept apart

once i want to make sure that doesn't

happen again

too dangerous wait a minute

i've learned a lot since i've been out

in the real world with you

[Music]

like when the duck please scandal

let me help look you will

need to stay right here and watch our

backs okay

let's go

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27 28

29 fire

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all right

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[Applause]

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say in august in manuscript it's

priceless

but i'll find a buyer

scandal and dallas are heading right for

the gunman camera four

[Music]

can you warn them fourth floor

camera six rapid oscillation

right

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[Applause]

let's go

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drop the gun do it now we go down

she dies it's all the same to me

don't hurt the girl eugene

take him out

man ma'am are you

dolores brown yeah

dolores there's someone here that would

like to see you

[Music]

right now

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um

hey hi

uh hey warren

uh why don't you tell dolores

about that little trick he did with a

security camera oh that was great

really great i bypassed your lockout

code

really that doesn't surprise me you're

very talented

not really you're the one who taught me

how

oh

i have something for you

oh warren it's beautiful

[Music]

nothing like the real thing huh

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i've seen it all now i think it's

beautiful

maybe eros is the love god after all

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maybe

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yeah hey what's the rush i was having a

shower

and i was in the middle of a workout i

wanted to unveil the new

tamper-proof totally secure cobra

computer

what you called me out of the shower to

tell me this yeah not just to tell but

the show

i hired warren to try and break in just

wanted to know the old master still has

a few tricks up his sleeve

ready ready

that's not right that's not right

[Music]

oh terrible your nickname's terrible

hey this ain't funny that that file is

classified

oh dallas look how cute

dallas you didn't have much hair back

then either i'm calling warren right now

i'm stopping this right now

what please deposit 20 cents for the

first three minutes

damn that kid's gonna change our line

into a pay phone

[Laughter]

come on you guys it's not funny i mean

it's not funny i'm telling you

i'm getting to the bottom of this don't

you think i won't it's not funny

i mean

[Applause]

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so

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you