City Guys (1997–2001): Season 1, Episode 3 - Knicks Tickets - full transcript
♪ C-I-T-Y
♪ You can see why
♪ These guys, the neat guys
♪ Smart and streetwise
♪ C-I-T-Y
♪ You can see why
♪ These guys, the neat guys
♪ Smart and streetwise
♪ City Guys pose, those looks in street clothes ♪
♪ It's all good coming from city people ♪
♪ They're all the same, open up your eyes ♪
♪ Roll with the City Guys
♪ C-I-T-Y
♪ You can see why
♪ These guys, the neat guys
♪ Smart and streetwise
♪ C-I-T-Y
♪ You can see why
♪ These guys, the neat guys
♪ Smart and streetwise
♪ Check the school, to class, to the playground ♪
♪ You'll make it there, if you just stay 'round ♪
♪ The right crowd, come on, sing it loud ♪
♪ Roll with the City Guys
♪ C-I-T-Y
♪ You can see why
♪ These guys, the neat guys
♪ Smart and streetwise
♪ C-I-T-Y
♪ You can see why
♪ These guys, the neat guys
♪ Smart and streetwise
♪ City wide
♪ Roll with the City Guys
♪ City wide
♪ Roll with the City Guys
♪ City wide
♪ Roll with the City Guys
♪ City wide
♪ Roll with the City Guys
♪ City Guys
(lighthearted hip hop music)
- Attention, students!
Don't forget about our field trip tomorrow
to see Shakespeare in the Park.
- Shakespeare's in the park?
I thought that dude was dead.
- He stays too long in Central Park, he will be.
(audience laughing)
- Anyway, get your bus assignment slips here,
for "Macbeth".
- This "Macbeth" thing sounds mac-boring.
- I heard that.
- See, he deserves a week of detention for that
if you ask me, Ms. Noble.
- No one's asking you.
But you should all know that Shakespeare in the Park
is a special privilege extended to our school,
and did I mention, the field trip is mandatory.
- Mandatory. (scoffs)
- Yeah, miss it and die.
Oh, Chris and Jamal, don't forget,
you two are taping this for the yearbook.
I'll expect a copy on my desk tomorrow.
Oh, and I'm hoping for two thumbs up.
Way up.
- You guys have fun at the play.
I got tickets for something better.
- Whoa, floor seats for the Knicks game, sweet!
- Yeah, tough choice, huh?
Guys jumping around in tights,
or Knick girls making me glad I'm a guy.
- But how are you gonna get out of the field trip now, huh?
- Simple, me and Cassidy Giuliani will duck out of the play,
catch a taxi to the game,
and be back while everyone is still snoring.
- Did you say, "Me and Cassidy?"
- Oh, I'm sorry.
Cassidy and I.
- Well, say it however you like,
I'm not going.
- Why not?
- Two reasons:
I don't wanna go with you,
and, oh yes, I don't wanna go with you.
- Hey, forget about it, Park Avenue.
Noble's gonna find out that you're sneaking off
to the game anyway.
- Noble?
How's she gonna find out?
- Because I'm about to tell her right now.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hey, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Slow down, speed racer.
- Ooh, you's in trouble!
- Make it quick, son.
Ditching school is a bad thing, Chris,
and I wanna make sure Noble has the whole day
to figure out a good punishment for you.
- You serious?
Since when did you turn into a squealer?
- Since you tried to stick me
with the taping of this Shakespeare thing.
- Oh, hold on, I'm not trying to stick you.
- Oh, yes, you are.
'Cause if you're not there,
then that leaves me all alone by myself,
holding that big old camera bag.
Ain't happening, no way no how.
Excuse me.
Oh, Ms. Noble.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
That's pretty lame, man.
- Hey, there's no way you're going to that game
unless I go, too.
- You think I'm giving up a floor seat to you?
- Oh, Ms. Noble.
- All right, all right.
Here.
- (gasping) Chris,
a Knicks ticket, for me?
Oh, you think of everything.
- Yeah, well, not everything.
Now who's gonna do the videotaping?
- While you two are kicking it at the game,
y'all want me to do the videotaping.
- Right, right.
- Wrong!
- Oh, there you are.
Al, we are in the last possible road from "Macbeth".
I know you have those connections.
So, could you make a call and get us closer?
- I already made that call, Dawn.
How do you think I got us that last possible road?
Later, much later.
- Well, pardon me for caring.
Great, my favorite Shakespeare play,
and I'm practically watching it from New Jersey.
- Are you feeling as bad for Dawn as I am, Jamal?
- Badder, Chris.
We have to let her do this.
- Let me do what?
- Because we're co-editors of the video yearbook,
we get special privileges at the play.
- Yeah, like backstage passes,
VIP credentials, frequent-flyer miles.
- Cool!
- Do you know if that means?
- Not really?
- Well, if we let you do the videotaping,
you could get as close as you want.
- You can?
- Oh, yes.
But.
- But?
- But, you gotta keep this quiet.
- Yeah, if it gets out that we're breaking off
these special privileges just for you-
- It could get ugly.
Very ugly.
Word up.
- You have my word.
Up.
- Come on, hey, hey.
Don't leave us hanging.
- All right, guys.
(audience laughing)
(audience laughing) (upbeat music)
- And, starting at center for the Knicks
of Georgetown University, Patrick A. Ewing!
- Go, Knicks, go, Knicks. - (laughing) Oh, yeah.
- Go, Knicks, go, Knicks. - You are so money, baby!
- Am I money?
- Oh, you are money! - Go, Knicks, go, Knicks.
- Hey!
Is this a private dancer, or can I cut in?
- Oh, hey, Ms. Noble.
Wow! Nice hairdo!
- Wow! Nice kisser!
Listen, I need you two to do me a favor.
When you go tomorrow, could you get me Patrick's autograph?
- You want us to get Patrick's autograph when we go?
- Yeah, if you don't mind.
Just have him sign it, "Love, Captain Picard."
- But, you want Patrick Ewing, center of the Knicks,
to sign, "Love, Captain Picard?"
- No, I want Patrick Stewart,
star of "Macbeth" and "Star Trek," to sign that.
Why would I ask the Patrick Ewing's autograph
for the Shakespeare event?
(Chris chuckling)
- No, you wouldn't, it's just that-
- No, no, no, no,
we'll get the autograph for you, Ms. Noble, no problem.
- Yeah, right, Ms. Noble.
Absolutely, it's all good.
It's all to the good, you know?
- Patrick Ewing as "Macbeth?"
(all laughing)
Now, there's a pair of tights I'd like to see.
(Chris and Jamal laughing)
- You go, girl!
- You mind telling me how we're gonna get an autograph
of an actor we're never gonna see?
- Oh, well,
we need an autograph,
now, we've got an autograph.
Like she's gonna know his handwriting. (chuckling)
- "Mucho, thanks, Captain Picard?"
I don't think so, man.
- Chris, you didn't tell me
the Knicks are playing the Lakers.
I love Kobe Bryant!
I changed my mind, I'm going!
He's gonna destroy the Knicks.
Bet you he knocks down 40!
Thanks. - Yeah, yeah.
(lips smacking)
(audience laughing)
- Hmm.
That's three people.
Two tickets.
One big problem, for you.
(upbeat music) (audience laughing)
- Come on, man, name your price.
Look, I promised Cassidy a ticket.
- (chuckling) Then give her yours.
I don't mind who I go with.
- No, see, the concept of a date,
is that I'm there, with the girl.
- Well then, you best to get yourself a third ticket,
'cause I would hate to see you miss your own date.
- Hey, Al.
How are you at getting last minute Knicks tickets?
- You got the cash?
I'll get the stash.
- I need a forward seat for tomorrow.
- Hang on, I'll get the 411 for you on the price.
Yo, Strakowski!
Need a code for The Garden Floor manana.
- [Strakowski] Tomorrow?
You's nuts, it's a sellout!
200 bucks!
- You heard the man, 300 bucks.
(audience laughing) (upbeat music)
- Dawn.
You all set to do the you-know-what?
- I have no idea what you're even talking about.
Wink, wink.
- Oh, Dawn,
one more thing while you're doing you-know-what.
See if you can hook up an autograph of Patrick Stewart
for Ms. Noble.
She likes bald guys with accents.
- Excuse me, the name's Dawn, not Dumb.
I'm doing this to get close to the stage,
not because of your special privilege, snow job.
Get your own autograph.
Bye, guys.
(audience laughing)
- Ready to go.
- I'm ready to go with you.
- You're gonna make Noble suspicious.
Why are you wearing that?
- Because I love Kobe, and it is worth the risk.
- Yo, yo, yo, what's up, Knick-knockers?
The Rocket Man delivers,
bam, three court side tickets.
Give me your two.
- Three tickets for two.
Now, that's a good deal.
- Yeah?
Wait till you see the service charge
I slapped on your credit card,
plus my tip, most generous partner.
(Jamal laughing)
- Tip? Did he say tip?
- Hey, breaking the rules don't come cheap, man.
(audience laughing)
(upbeat music)
Thank you, sir.
Y'all look at this, man.
Center courts, padded seats!
Who says money can't buy happiness? (laughing)
- There he is! There's Kobe!
Kobe! Over here! - Cassidy, Cassidy.
- Over here! - You can chill.
Kobe'll be here the whole game.
- Welcome to The Garden.
Program?
- Yeah. - Complimentary beverage?
- Oh, yeah.
- Extra cushion for your seat?
- Oh absolutely, yes, yes.
A cush for my tush?
I can dig it, you know?
- Oh, there's Shaq.
He's big!
- Not as big as his $125 million contract.
- You know, he almost makes as much as my dad.
Which, by the way, Cassidy, I will be inheriting one day.
- Oh no, I'm bugging, yo.
Tyra Banks, six seats down.
Hey, baby, what's up? (laughing)
Oh yeah, I love this game!
- [Mr. Anderson] Now, as the charts indicate,
12% of our students responded Germany.
21% responded Miami,
and a whopping 67% responded
that Napoleon was the king of Poland.
I repeat, king of Poland.
- Kobe for three.
Yeah! Woo-hoo!
In your face, dogs!
Yeah, whoo!
Hey, Van Gundy,
you better call Titan or your boys are hanging!
Whoo! - Hey, Cassidy, Cassidy!
Hey, would you cool out?
You're in Knicks' country here.
- Hey, I am just enjoying the game.
Woo-hoo! - Yeah, and we so want you
to enjoy the game.
Just next time, could you chant,
"Knicks suck, Knicks suck," a teeny bit softer.
- Refreshments, anybody?
- Oh yes, please.
Could you hook me up
with another one of those lattes again?
Thanks so very much.
- Hey, Hey, what's up, friends?
Y'all enjoying the game?
- We would be, if you weren't blocking our view.
Excuse me.
- Oh, she means that in the nicest possible way.
- Well, let me say this in the nicest possible way.
Move!
You're in my seats.
- Excuse me, excuse me.
Is there a problem here?
- Yeah, these jerks are in my seats.
- Jerks?
Are we into name-calling now?
- Look, just relax.
Look, show him your tickets.
- These are for yesterday's game.
- What? - What you talking about, man?
- Let's take a walk to security.
- Wait a minute. - No, no.
- Hey, I'm in nobody's seat. - Come on.
- I had nothing to do with this.
- Let me see those tickets. - Just wait!
- Let me see those tickets. - Get your hands off me!
- [Mr. Anderson] Clearly, this indicates
that we have not properly spent enough time
with our students going over European history.
- [Announcer] Still tied score,
as the teams continue that lackluster play.
But wait a minute,
there seems to be more action off the court than on it.
It appears a few fans are embroiled
in some sort of a seating dispute.
- Oh, the children lie!
(audience laughing) (upbeat music)
- I can't believe I ditched school
and didn't even get to see the game, yo.
- Like it would have killed 'em
to let us watch the second half
on their stupid security monitors.
- We shouldn't even have gone in the first place.
Like my grandma Giuliani always says,
"You play in the mud, you get muddy."
- Oh, well, well, well.
Chris, Jamal and Cassidy doth return.
And how was your Shakespeare in the Park experience?
- Out of control. - Great.
- Yeah, it was cool.
- So, "Macbeth" was no mac-boring?
- No way, the bore's the bomb!
- Yeah, I can't wait for the sequel.
- Ah, so, can I see the video tape?
- Oh, yes. - Oh, no.
- Well, yes and no. - Well, yes and no,
is what he meant.
- Yeah, you can see the tape, but not right now.
Our bus was full, so Dawn volunteered to take the equipment.
- Yeah, that's exactly how I remember it, too.
- Yeah, yeah, I see.
Well, when Dawn returns,
I'm very interested in looking at your work.
Find me.
- Yo, yo, yo, three Knickerteers, we gots to talk.
- Yeah, that's for sure.
The tickets were lame, Al.
They tossed us.
- Y'all got bigger problems than that.
Look, I saw the game on my TV.
Y'all three with the stars of the show.
- We were on TV?
- In living color.
And since there's TVs at the school,
I'd highly suggest y'all take some sick days.
- Aw, man, even Noble saw us?
- No, no, she had faculty stuff all day.
- Right, right.
And if she did know, how come she didn't bust us just now?
- Because she's Noble, that's why.
You guys haven't been around long enough
to see her in action.
She knows.
I'm turning myself in before Hurricane Nobel blows us away.
- Whoa, Cassidy, Cassidy!
- Ease up on that gas pedal for a minute, girl.
- Yeah, yeah, we should talk this over.
- You talk it over, I'm telling Nobel what I did.
- Boy, that is the last time I cut school with her.
(audience laughing) (upbeat music)
I don't hear anything.
Do you hear anything?
Is Cassidy confessing?
- I don't know.
All I can hear is some rich white boy
asking stupid questions.
Would you be quiet, man?
- Hey, guys.
Guess who's back with the major "Macbeth" footage.
- Not now, Dawn.
- Yeah, we got something going on.
- Come on, I'll cue it up real quick.
There's this segment with the witches that made me cry,
it was so- - Okay, yeah, that's great.
- I didn't hear a thank you.
- Thank you!
- Now, is that so hard?
- How long does it take for Cassidy to say, "I'm guilty?"
She's giving us up, I know it.
- I don't know, man.
Maybe we should confess.
I mean, all this hiding the true stuff
is starting to really feel bad.
- Whoa, whoa, just lay low with the plan.
Look, we say nothing, we do nothing, we cop to nothing.
Agreed?
- Yeah, yeah agreed.
(door lock clicks)
- Cassidy, hey.
Okay, nice talking to you.
- Why are you boys hanging around?
- Oh, we were just-
- Chilling, kicking indoor. - Yeah, yeah, just, yeah.
- Yes? Yes?
You wanted to tell me something?
- Tell you?
Did you wanna say anything? - Did you?
I didn't wanna say. - Because I'm not.
We're fine, we're cool. - Were cool.
- Oh, so you came to drop off the tape.
- Oh, yeah, and check it out. Ms. Noble.
We're especially proud of the stuff with the witches.
- Yeah, almost made me cry.
(audience laughing)
(audience laughing) (upbeat music)
(lighthearted hip hop music)
- Whoa, hey, Cassidy!
Didn't know you're up here.
- Yeah, what up, sis?
- Stop it.
All you two want to know is if I ratted you out.
- Oh, not true, no. - Uh-uh.
- Well, your secret's safe.
Noble thinks I went to the game alone.
- Oh, yes!
- Oh, so you're happy Noble stuck me up here
fixing leaks in the roof?
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Our heart goes out to you.
This is totally unfair punishment.
- Hey, I broke the rules,
I can live with the consequences.
You'd understand if you had a conscience.
- Okay, you two.
You're testing my patience.
Talk to me.
- It wasn't my fault, it's all Chris's fault.
- It wasn't me, Ms Noble.
- It's Chris's fault
I don't have my Patrick Stewart autograph?
- Autograph?
- Oh, yeah, the autograph.
Remember, Jamal?
I put it right here in my pocket.
- Oh.
"Mucho thanks, Captain Picard?"
- Oh, yeah, he says that to everyone.
I think it's an English thing.
- Oh, well, I took a look at the "Macbeth" video.
Great stuff!
I'm so glad someone took a special interest in Shakespeare,
unlike a certain student I know.
(brush thuds)
- Could you guys move?
A certain student needs to get more sealer.
- Well, give it up.
We set it off.
- Yeah, we're free and clear.
- Yeah, and all we did was get Cassidy in trouble.
- Oh, not to mention having Dawn lie and cheat for us.
(Jamal laughing)
- You feeling what I'm feeling?
- You mean that's sick, queasy feeling
in the pit of your stomach?
- Guilt.
- I was hoping it was just the nachos from the game.
(audience laughing) (upbeat music)
(upbeat music)
- Hey, Miss N.
Burning the midnight oil?
- It's 3:15, school just let out 10 minutes ago.
- Oh, Ms. Noble,
this isn't easy for me to say,
but Jamal has something he wants to tell you.
- The truth is, Ms. Noble,
we were with Cassidy at the Knicks game.
Well, look, we're sorry.
- Actually, it was my idea.
I got the tickets for everybody.
- Yeah, but I wanted to go, too.
We made a bad choice.
- I'll say,
lying and keeping the lie alive is always a bad idea.
Sit.
Listen.
School, not basketball,
has to be your number one priority, boys.
We all have responsibilities we can't just blow off
the minute Shaquille O'Neal comes to town.
Although the man does throw down some mean monster dunks!
- Yeah, he does!
- However, I am glad you came to me.
And I'm glad that you took responsibility for your actions.
Very glad.
Even though I had to give you a little time
to come to your senses.
- Wait, you knew all along?
Cassidy told, didn't she?
- Or you saw it on TV.
- Well, let me answer you this way.
No, no, and none of your business.
Now, dear students, guess what time it is.
- On the roof with Cassidy time?
- Oh, no.
Me thinks I have something more cleansing in mind for you.
- Oh, oh, no.
No, not the bathrooms.
- Ah, yes, the Superbowl of punishments.
Now, go, and flush that guilt away.
(audience laughing)
(audience applauding) (upbeat music)
♪ You can see why
♪ These guys, the neat guys
♪ Smart and streetwise
♪ C-I-T-Y
♪ You can see why
♪ These guys, the neat guys
♪ Smart and streetwise
♪ City Guys pose, those looks in street clothes ♪
♪ It's all good coming from city people ♪
♪ They're all the same, open up your eyes ♪
♪ Roll with the City Guys
♪ C-I-T-Y
♪ You can see why
♪ These guys, the neat guys
♪ Smart and streetwise
♪ C-I-T-Y
♪ You can see why
♪ These guys, the neat guys
♪ Smart and streetwise
♪ Check the school, to class, to the playground ♪
♪ You'll make it there, if you just stay 'round ♪
♪ The right crowd, come on, sing it loud ♪
♪ Roll with the City Guys
♪ C-I-T-Y
♪ You can see why
♪ These guys, the neat guys
♪ Smart and streetwise
♪ C-I-T-Y
♪ You can see why
♪ These guys, the neat guys
♪ Smart and streetwise
♪ City wide
♪ Roll with the City Guys
♪ City wide
♪ Roll with the City Guys
♪ City wide
♪ Roll with the City Guys
♪ City wide
♪ Roll with the City Guys
♪ City Guys
(lighthearted hip hop music)
- Attention, students!
Don't forget about our field trip tomorrow
to see Shakespeare in the Park.
- Shakespeare's in the park?
I thought that dude was dead.
- He stays too long in Central Park, he will be.
(audience laughing)
- Anyway, get your bus assignment slips here,
for "Macbeth".
- This "Macbeth" thing sounds mac-boring.
- I heard that.
- See, he deserves a week of detention for that
if you ask me, Ms. Noble.
- No one's asking you.
But you should all know that Shakespeare in the Park
is a special privilege extended to our school,
and did I mention, the field trip is mandatory.
- Mandatory. (scoffs)
- Yeah, miss it and die.
Oh, Chris and Jamal, don't forget,
you two are taping this for the yearbook.
I'll expect a copy on my desk tomorrow.
Oh, and I'm hoping for two thumbs up.
Way up.
- You guys have fun at the play.
I got tickets for something better.
- Whoa, floor seats for the Knicks game, sweet!
- Yeah, tough choice, huh?
Guys jumping around in tights,
or Knick girls making me glad I'm a guy.
- But how are you gonna get out of the field trip now, huh?
- Simple, me and Cassidy Giuliani will duck out of the play,
catch a taxi to the game,
and be back while everyone is still snoring.
- Did you say, "Me and Cassidy?"
- Oh, I'm sorry.
Cassidy and I.
- Well, say it however you like,
I'm not going.
- Why not?
- Two reasons:
I don't wanna go with you,
and, oh yes, I don't wanna go with you.
- Hey, forget about it, Park Avenue.
Noble's gonna find out that you're sneaking off
to the game anyway.
- Noble?
How's she gonna find out?
- Because I'm about to tell her right now.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hey, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Slow down, speed racer.
- Ooh, you's in trouble!
- Make it quick, son.
Ditching school is a bad thing, Chris,
and I wanna make sure Noble has the whole day
to figure out a good punishment for you.
- You serious?
Since when did you turn into a squealer?
- Since you tried to stick me
with the taping of this Shakespeare thing.
- Oh, hold on, I'm not trying to stick you.
- Oh, yes, you are.
'Cause if you're not there,
then that leaves me all alone by myself,
holding that big old camera bag.
Ain't happening, no way no how.
Excuse me.
Oh, Ms. Noble.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
That's pretty lame, man.
- Hey, there's no way you're going to that game
unless I go, too.
- You think I'm giving up a floor seat to you?
- Oh, Ms. Noble.
- All right, all right.
Here.
- (gasping) Chris,
a Knicks ticket, for me?
Oh, you think of everything.
- Yeah, well, not everything.
Now who's gonna do the videotaping?
- While you two are kicking it at the game,
y'all want me to do the videotaping.
- Right, right.
- Wrong!
- Oh, there you are.
Al, we are in the last possible road from "Macbeth".
I know you have those connections.
So, could you make a call and get us closer?
- I already made that call, Dawn.
How do you think I got us that last possible road?
Later, much later.
- Well, pardon me for caring.
Great, my favorite Shakespeare play,
and I'm practically watching it from New Jersey.
- Are you feeling as bad for Dawn as I am, Jamal?
- Badder, Chris.
We have to let her do this.
- Let me do what?
- Because we're co-editors of the video yearbook,
we get special privileges at the play.
- Yeah, like backstage passes,
VIP credentials, frequent-flyer miles.
- Cool!
- Do you know if that means?
- Not really?
- Well, if we let you do the videotaping,
you could get as close as you want.
- You can?
- Oh, yes.
But.
- But?
- But, you gotta keep this quiet.
- Yeah, if it gets out that we're breaking off
these special privileges just for you-
- It could get ugly.
Very ugly.
Word up.
- You have my word.
Up.
- Come on, hey, hey.
Don't leave us hanging.
- All right, guys.
(audience laughing)
(audience laughing) (upbeat music)
- And, starting at center for the Knicks
of Georgetown University, Patrick A. Ewing!
- Go, Knicks, go, Knicks. - (laughing) Oh, yeah.
- Go, Knicks, go, Knicks. - You are so money, baby!
- Am I money?
- Oh, you are money! - Go, Knicks, go, Knicks.
- Hey!
Is this a private dancer, or can I cut in?
- Oh, hey, Ms. Noble.
Wow! Nice hairdo!
- Wow! Nice kisser!
Listen, I need you two to do me a favor.
When you go tomorrow, could you get me Patrick's autograph?
- You want us to get Patrick's autograph when we go?
- Yeah, if you don't mind.
Just have him sign it, "Love, Captain Picard."
- But, you want Patrick Ewing, center of the Knicks,
to sign, "Love, Captain Picard?"
- No, I want Patrick Stewart,
star of "Macbeth" and "Star Trek," to sign that.
Why would I ask the Patrick Ewing's autograph
for the Shakespeare event?
(Chris chuckling)
- No, you wouldn't, it's just that-
- No, no, no, no,
we'll get the autograph for you, Ms. Noble, no problem.
- Yeah, right, Ms. Noble.
Absolutely, it's all good.
It's all to the good, you know?
- Patrick Ewing as "Macbeth?"
(all laughing)
Now, there's a pair of tights I'd like to see.
(Chris and Jamal laughing)
- You go, girl!
- You mind telling me how we're gonna get an autograph
of an actor we're never gonna see?
- Oh, well,
we need an autograph,
now, we've got an autograph.
Like she's gonna know his handwriting. (chuckling)
- "Mucho, thanks, Captain Picard?"
I don't think so, man.
- Chris, you didn't tell me
the Knicks are playing the Lakers.
I love Kobe Bryant!
I changed my mind, I'm going!
He's gonna destroy the Knicks.
Bet you he knocks down 40!
Thanks. - Yeah, yeah.
(lips smacking)
(audience laughing)
- Hmm.
That's three people.
Two tickets.
One big problem, for you.
(upbeat music) (audience laughing)
- Come on, man, name your price.
Look, I promised Cassidy a ticket.
- (chuckling) Then give her yours.
I don't mind who I go with.
- No, see, the concept of a date,
is that I'm there, with the girl.
- Well then, you best to get yourself a third ticket,
'cause I would hate to see you miss your own date.
- Hey, Al.
How are you at getting last minute Knicks tickets?
- You got the cash?
I'll get the stash.
- I need a forward seat for tomorrow.
- Hang on, I'll get the 411 for you on the price.
Yo, Strakowski!
Need a code for The Garden Floor manana.
- [Strakowski] Tomorrow?
You's nuts, it's a sellout!
200 bucks!
- You heard the man, 300 bucks.
(audience laughing) (upbeat music)
- Dawn.
You all set to do the you-know-what?
- I have no idea what you're even talking about.
Wink, wink.
- Oh, Dawn,
one more thing while you're doing you-know-what.
See if you can hook up an autograph of Patrick Stewart
for Ms. Noble.
She likes bald guys with accents.
- Excuse me, the name's Dawn, not Dumb.
I'm doing this to get close to the stage,
not because of your special privilege, snow job.
Get your own autograph.
Bye, guys.
(audience laughing)
- Ready to go.
- I'm ready to go with you.
- You're gonna make Noble suspicious.
Why are you wearing that?
- Because I love Kobe, and it is worth the risk.
- Yo, yo, yo, what's up, Knick-knockers?
The Rocket Man delivers,
bam, three court side tickets.
Give me your two.
- Three tickets for two.
Now, that's a good deal.
- Yeah?
Wait till you see the service charge
I slapped on your credit card,
plus my tip, most generous partner.
(Jamal laughing)
- Tip? Did he say tip?
- Hey, breaking the rules don't come cheap, man.
(audience laughing)
(upbeat music)
Thank you, sir.
Y'all look at this, man.
Center courts, padded seats!
Who says money can't buy happiness? (laughing)
- There he is! There's Kobe!
Kobe! Over here! - Cassidy, Cassidy.
- Over here! - You can chill.
Kobe'll be here the whole game.
- Welcome to The Garden.
Program?
- Yeah. - Complimentary beverage?
- Oh, yeah.
- Extra cushion for your seat?
- Oh absolutely, yes, yes.
A cush for my tush?
I can dig it, you know?
- Oh, there's Shaq.
He's big!
- Not as big as his $125 million contract.
- You know, he almost makes as much as my dad.
Which, by the way, Cassidy, I will be inheriting one day.
- Oh no, I'm bugging, yo.
Tyra Banks, six seats down.
Hey, baby, what's up? (laughing)
Oh yeah, I love this game!
- [Mr. Anderson] Now, as the charts indicate,
12% of our students responded Germany.
21% responded Miami,
and a whopping 67% responded
that Napoleon was the king of Poland.
I repeat, king of Poland.
- Kobe for three.
Yeah! Woo-hoo!
In your face, dogs!
Yeah, whoo!
Hey, Van Gundy,
you better call Titan or your boys are hanging!
Whoo! - Hey, Cassidy, Cassidy!
Hey, would you cool out?
You're in Knicks' country here.
- Hey, I am just enjoying the game.
Woo-hoo! - Yeah, and we so want you
to enjoy the game.
Just next time, could you chant,
"Knicks suck, Knicks suck," a teeny bit softer.
- Refreshments, anybody?
- Oh yes, please.
Could you hook me up
with another one of those lattes again?
Thanks so very much.
- Hey, Hey, what's up, friends?
Y'all enjoying the game?
- We would be, if you weren't blocking our view.
Excuse me.
- Oh, she means that in the nicest possible way.
- Well, let me say this in the nicest possible way.
Move!
You're in my seats.
- Excuse me, excuse me.
Is there a problem here?
- Yeah, these jerks are in my seats.
- Jerks?
Are we into name-calling now?
- Look, just relax.
Look, show him your tickets.
- These are for yesterday's game.
- What? - What you talking about, man?
- Let's take a walk to security.
- Wait a minute. - No, no.
- Hey, I'm in nobody's seat. - Come on.
- I had nothing to do with this.
- Let me see those tickets. - Just wait!
- Let me see those tickets. - Get your hands off me!
- [Mr. Anderson] Clearly, this indicates
that we have not properly spent enough time
with our students going over European history.
- [Announcer] Still tied score,
as the teams continue that lackluster play.
But wait a minute,
there seems to be more action off the court than on it.
It appears a few fans are embroiled
in some sort of a seating dispute.
- Oh, the children lie!
(audience laughing) (upbeat music)
- I can't believe I ditched school
and didn't even get to see the game, yo.
- Like it would have killed 'em
to let us watch the second half
on their stupid security monitors.
- We shouldn't even have gone in the first place.
Like my grandma Giuliani always says,
"You play in the mud, you get muddy."
- Oh, well, well, well.
Chris, Jamal and Cassidy doth return.
And how was your Shakespeare in the Park experience?
- Out of control. - Great.
- Yeah, it was cool.
- So, "Macbeth" was no mac-boring?
- No way, the bore's the bomb!
- Yeah, I can't wait for the sequel.
- Ah, so, can I see the video tape?
- Oh, yes. - Oh, no.
- Well, yes and no. - Well, yes and no,
is what he meant.
- Yeah, you can see the tape, but not right now.
Our bus was full, so Dawn volunteered to take the equipment.
- Yeah, that's exactly how I remember it, too.
- Yeah, yeah, I see.
Well, when Dawn returns,
I'm very interested in looking at your work.
Find me.
- Yo, yo, yo, three Knickerteers, we gots to talk.
- Yeah, that's for sure.
The tickets were lame, Al.
They tossed us.
- Y'all got bigger problems than that.
Look, I saw the game on my TV.
Y'all three with the stars of the show.
- We were on TV?
- In living color.
And since there's TVs at the school,
I'd highly suggest y'all take some sick days.
- Aw, man, even Noble saw us?
- No, no, she had faculty stuff all day.
- Right, right.
And if she did know, how come she didn't bust us just now?
- Because she's Noble, that's why.
You guys haven't been around long enough
to see her in action.
She knows.
I'm turning myself in before Hurricane Nobel blows us away.
- Whoa, Cassidy, Cassidy!
- Ease up on that gas pedal for a minute, girl.
- Yeah, yeah, we should talk this over.
- You talk it over, I'm telling Nobel what I did.
- Boy, that is the last time I cut school with her.
(audience laughing) (upbeat music)
I don't hear anything.
Do you hear anything?
Is Cassidy confessing?
- I don't know.
All I can hear is some rich white boy
asking stupid questions.
Would you be quiet, man?
- Hey, guys.
Guess who's back with the major "Macbeth" footage.
- Not now, Dawn.
- Yeah, we got something going on.
- Come on, I'll cue it up real quick.
There's this segment with the witches that made me cry,
it was so- - Okay, yeah, that's great.
- I didn't hear a thank you.
- Thank you!
- Now, is that so hard?
- How long does it take for Cassidy to say, "I'm guilty?"
She's giving us up, I know it.
- I don't know, man.
Maybe we should confess.
I mean, all this hiding the true stuff
is starting to really feel bad.
- Whoa, whoa, just lay low with the plan.
Look, we say nothing, we do nothing, we cop to nothing.
Agreed?
- Yeah, yeah agreed.
(door lock clicks)
- Cassidy, hey.
Okay, nice talking to you.
- Why are you boys hanging around?
- Oh, we were just-
- Chilling, kicking indoor. - Yeah, yeah, just, yeah.
- Yes? Yes?
You wanted to tell me something?
- Tell you?
Did you wanna say anything? - Did you?
I didn't wanna say. - Because I'm not.
We're fine, we're cool. - Were cool.
- Oh, so you came to drop off the tape.
- Oh, yeah, and check it out. Ms. Noble.
We're especially proud of the stuff with the witches.
- Yeah, almost made me cry.
(audience laughing)
(audience laughing) (upbeat music)
(lighthearted hip hop music)
- Whoa, hey, Cassidy!
Didn't know you're up here.
- Yeah, what up, sis?
- Stop it.
All you two want to know is if I ratted you out.
- Oh, not true, no. - Uh-uh.
- Well, your secret's safe.
Noble thinks I went to the game alone.
- Oh, yes!
- Oh, so you're happy Noble stuck me up here
fixing leaks in the roof?
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Our heart goes out to you.
This is totally unfair punishment.
- Hey, I broke the rules,
I can live with the consequences.
You'd understand if you had a conscience.
- Okay, you two.
You're testing my patience.
Talk to me.
- It wasn't my fault, it's all Chris's fault.
- It wasn't me, Ms Noble.
- It's Chris's fault
I don't have my Patrick Stewart autograph?
- Autograph?
- Oh, yeah, the autograph.
Remember, Jamal?
I put it right here in my pocket.
- Oh.
"Mucho thanks, Captain Picard?"
- Oh, yeah, he says that to everyone.
I think it's an English thing.
- Oh, well, I took a look at the "Macbeth" video.
Great stuff!
I'm so glad someone took a special interest in Shakespeare,
unlike a certain student I know.
(brush thuds)
- Could you guys move?
A certain student needs to get more sealer.
- Well, give it up.
We set it off.
- Yeah, we're free and clear.
- Yeah, and all we did was get Cassidy in trouble.
- Oh, not to mention having Dawn lie and cheat for us.
(Jamal laughing)
- You feeling what I'm feeling?
- You mean that's sick, queasy feeling
in the pit of your stomach?
- Guilt.
- I was hoping it was just the nachos from the game.
(audience laughing) (upbeat music)
(upbeat music)
- Hey, Miss N.
Burning the midnight oil?
- It's 3:15, school just let out 10 minutes ago.
- Oh, Ms. Noble,
this isn't easy for me to say,
but Jamal has something he wants to tell you.
- The truth is, Ms. Noble,
we were with Cassidy at the Knicks game.
Well, look, we're sorry.
- Actually, it was my idea.
I got the tickets for everybody.
- Yeah, but I wanted to go, too.
We made a bad choice.
- I'll say,
lying and keeping the lie alive is always a bad idea.
Sit.
Listen.
School, not basketball,
has to be your number one priority, boys.
We all have responsibilities we can't just blow off
the minute Shaquille O'Neal comes to town.
Although the man does throw down some mean monster dunks!
- Yeah, he does!
- However, I am glad you came to me.
And I'm glad that you took responsibility for your actions.
Very glad.
Even though I had to give you a little time
to come to your senses.
- Wait, you knew all along?
Cassidy told, didn't she?
- Or you saw it on TV.
- Well, let me answer you this way.
No, no, and none of your business.
Now, dear students, guess what time it is.
- On the roof with Cassidy time?
- Oh, no.
Me thinks I have something more cleansing in mind for you.
- Oh, oh, no.
No, not the bathrooms.
- Ah, yes, the Superbowl of punishments.
Now, go, and flush that guilt away.
(audience laughing)
(audience applauding) (upbeat music)