Chuck (2007–2012): Season 5, Episode 9 - Chuck Versus the Kept Man - full transcript
Gertrude Verbanski returns and asks Casey to join her on a mission in South Beach. Jeff and Lester suspect there's more to the Buy More than meets the Eye
Hi, I'm Chuck.
Here are a few things that
you might need to know.
Come on. Carmichael Industries.
The independence and freedom
to do what we want when we want.
I had no idea I had
such strong feelings for him.
I have to disappear for a while.
All members of
Carmichael Industries
have a position
open to them at the CIA.
If we go back, it's just
gonna be missions and secrets.
I don't want to go back.
Okay.
All we need is each other.
So, Mr. Carmichael,
tell me,
how do you feel like
dying today?
Honestly?
You're gonna make me decide?
I find it says
a lot about a man.
I-I, you know, I don't know.
Can't you just pick something?
I've got a lot
on my plate right now.
Like what?
Running your
own company.
It's just, you know, there's
a lot of responsibility
that comes with that.
Not that I don't care
about recovering
spent nuclear fuel
rods, 'cause I do,
but you got to keep your
eye the bottom line.
And with missions, the
bottom line is cash, man.
You know,
with all these
private security firms
out there,
I-I think maybe I'm coming
at this the wrong way.
Maybe Carmichael Industries
needs a new hook, you know?
SARAH:
Almost there, Chuck.
You're very good at talking.
Exactly.
Any spy can sneak
into a building
and-and snap
a few necks.
But what are we doing right
here, right now, the two of us?
We're talking about our
hopes and our dreams.
So you're spies that care?
You're a genius.
That's inspired.
I'm gonna use that.
Can I use that?
I'm glad I could help you,
Mr. Carmichael,
but I think I'll start
by cutting out your tongue.
That would be a horrible idea.
I would not want to do that.
Especially with
such a blunt object.
Stop it, baldy!
Oh, my God.
Chuck, are you okay?
I think we just had
a breakthrough, honey.
Do you think it's
okay to touch that
without a radiation suit?
Shouldn't be any worse
than a couple
dozen X-rays.
We'll be fine,
as long as no one's pregnant.
(laughs)
(chuckles)
Okay, Casey,
I'm gonna let you take that.
Let's go.
Don't tell me you're
getting sentimental.
"Welcome back, Gertrude.
"Good to see you, Gertrude.
I missed you,
Gertrude."
Just nod your head if you agree
with any of this.
Didn't hear you come in.
That's because
I took off my heels.
Among other things.
I guess you heard you're not
wanted for murder anymore.
Beckman put a lid
on that whole Decker thing.
Turns out, he was just
a patsy, just...
I didn't fly halfway across
the world to be debriefed.
Uh-uh.
That's your job, John.
Mm...
I thought you said
you were coming to bed.
Have you been
up all night long?
That bad guy
got me thinking.
The one who tried
to cut your tongue out?
Our mission statement,
our mission statement.
We spend so much time
focusing on spy missions,
that we've lost sight of
the-the, you know, uh,
"what are we doing,
why are we here" mission.
Are you feeling okay?
I think that pizza
that Morgan left in the fridge
is starting to turn.
I have never thought
more clearly in my life.
Oh, "the things we feel
but do not share."
What can we, Carmichael
Industries, offer our clients
that other
security firms can't? Go.
Discount electronics?
We care, Sarah.
We care.
C-A-R-E.
Clandestine Agents
Relating Emotionally.
Get it?
(groans)
You hate it.
No, I think
it's very interesting.
I just, uh, I just feel
very queasy suddenly.
Huh.
Maybe the pizza was bad.
Who told you
you could get dressed?
It's a work day, remember?
First of all,
I have something for you.
Hmm?
Open it.
It's a... sweater.
Why's it so soft?
It's cashmere.
Doesn't feel
flame-retardant.
It's the perfect weight for
a winter night in South Beach.
What's in South Beach?
The second part
of your surprise.
You and I are going to Miami
for three nights at the Maya.
In the middle of the week?
I can't just take off
and sun my buns in Miami.
No, no, no.
I have a job.
Two, technically.
Right, right.
I get it.
I'll, uh, call you later.
Okay.
- Good.
- Hey.
Don't forget your new sweater.
Why are we looking at
surveillance footage
from this morning?
I don't know... yet.
Ever since I got
my brain cleaned,
I've had this suspicion
that something's happening
behind the scenes here.
Wait a minute.
Is that...?
Bingo.
John Casey wearing
a deep V-neck
cashmere sweater.
Who are you,
John Casey?
And what's he doing sneaking
around the Buy More hours
before his shift starts?
Maybe he's here
to meet somebody.
JEFF:
Those two.
Of course
they're in on it.
In on what?
They're probably just doing it
in the home theater room
like I do.
Not likely.
I'm gonna need some
three-by-five cards, stat.
Okay.
Stat!
Ooh!
I got to say, I'm grooving
on that deep V, Casey.
What do you got here?
"Clandestine Agents
Relating Emotionally."
(snaps fingers)
CARE?
Mm-hmm.
You really think this is
what our clients want,
private security firm
that holds their hands,
builds their self-esteem,
tells them they're special?
Isn't that what
everyone wants, Casey?
And it's no coincidence
that we booked
our first client in forever,
hours after I put my CARE
statement on our Web site.
We have a Web site?
Who's the client?
Hey.
I told you I
was working.
So am I.
You're the cl--
She's the client?
May I remind you that you have
your own personal security firm.
My personnel are
stretched a bit thin.
Besides, your company
offers a level of service
that other companies
just don't offer.
You care.
(mouthing)
And I intend to take
full advantage of that.
See? Mission statement
working already.
♪ Chuck 5x09 ♪
Chuck Versus the Kept Man
Original Air Date on January 6, 2012
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Sync for web-dl.ViPER by sn655321
♪
(tires screeching)
♪ Na-na na-na na-
♪ Na-na na-na
na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na
♪ Na-na na-na
na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na
♪ Na-na na-na
na-na ♪
(whimpers)
Rocky Falcone,
cologne wearing scumbag
He's murdered his way into
becoming one of the biggest
arms dealers in Miami.
We have some business
that he insists on
conducting face-to-face.
You'll act as protection.
Where's the meet?
Miami.
Mm, what a coincidence.
Is it okay
if I make the retainer fee
payable to
Carmichael Industries?
Sure.
Actually, I'm gonna pay
the whole fee right up front.
We haven't said yes
to running...
Yes.
Yes.
Meet you on the runway
bright and early.
That way, we can catch
some pool time.
CHUCK:
Sounds good.
See you in the a.m.
What is your problem?
Yeah, seriously,
what is your problem?
That was not
very caring, Casey.
An above-board
arms deal in Miami?
Sounds like a vacation.
Haven't you had enough
kidnapping, torture
and bloodshed?
CHUCK:
Besides, we haven't
made a cent in months,
and your girlfriend
has deep pockets.
She's not my girlfriend.
Whatever you want to call her,
she's our new client.
Pack your bags, lover boy.
We're going to South Beach.
Are you going out of town?
Yeah, something came up.
I have to leave
for a couple days.
Movie night.
It's okay, we'll
do it next week.
And don't worry, I
have already chosen
what we'll watch.
"Downton Abbey.worry, I
have already chosen
An upstairs/downstairs costume
drama in early 1900s England."
Yeah, something tells me,
not gonna be a lot of explosions
in that one.
Are you kidding?
What about the bombs they drop
on Edwardian convention?
(scoffs)
Uh, listen, I-I-- yeah.
It's okay,
you don't have to explain.
You're my hero.
Please pardon the speculative
nature of my research.
This is just the first stab
at what I think
our coworkers are really up to.
Okay.
Obviously, some of my deductions
are quite tenuous,
but if you'll bear with me
for just a moment...
You think they're spies?
Casey and Sarah?
Yes. Probably NSA or CIA.
Chuck is some kind of asset.
The only thing left
to figure out is this.
There's a fourth
member of their team.
He's their secret weapon.
What are you guys doing?
He's seen too much. Grab him!
MORGAN: Guys! Guys, guys,
guys, guys.
JEFF: You see how he
slipped out like that?
Maybe he's our
mystery agent.
(scoffs)
Wait, wait, easy.
Easy there, Jeffrey.
I was with you on the whole
conspiracy theory thing,
but seriously, this loser,
a spy?
I mean, come on. Come on.
Yeah, I mean, come on.
Either way, he's gonna tell
Chuck we're on to him.
Fine. We'll kill him.
What? No. Guys, I'm not gonna
tell Chuck squat, all right?
I've been conducting
my own investigation,
and you guys are
absolutely right.
You nailed it,
all right?
There is a mystery agent.
I've tracked him down.
And, uh, I got him.
You... are you, uh...
you're gonna...
this is gonna
blow your mind.
You're gonna be, like, "What?
There's no way he's, you know."
But boom,
there he is, all right?
If that's not James Bond,
I don't know what is, right?
Of course.
♪
Hello, darling.
Oh, garcon, another daiquiri
for me. And you?
Just another sparkling water,
please.
You heard the lady.
And you can put that on
Ms. Verbanski's room.
Thank you very much.
CASEY (over comm): Chuck, Sarah,
stay focused on the mission.
Gertrude, you have a bogey
closing from your 9:00.
Walker, you have
a positive I.D.?
That's a negative on
Falcone, but there
could be another
one of his heavies.
Your call, Casey.
I'll handle it.
Package for Ms. Verbanski...
Whoa!
Thank you.
A little jumpy, John?
I thought he was one
of Falcone's men.
Didn't know what he had.
It's a little something that
I found for you in the lobby.
What the hell is it?
It's a swimsuit, John.
Your job is to blend in
around here,
and I'd like you
to put it on, please.
Change room right there.
Oh, God.
You know, look,
I mean, honestly, Falcone
is not gonna be showing
his face down here.
You wanna go take a little dip
in the hot tub
with me?
No. No, I don't think
that's a good idea.
No booze, no Jacuzz,
what's gotten into my wife?
Look, why don't you just stay
put and take care of the client?
I'm gonna go
check on Casey, okay?
Casey.
(hushed):
Just a minute!
Oh, God,
I'm coming in.
I can't do it, Walker.
Sometimes Gertrude,
she doesn't even listen
to what I'm trying to tell her.
I can sympathize.
Thank you.
But you're putting on
that bathing suit.
Like hell.
This is a dream mission, Casey,
and I'm not gonna
let you screw it up.
Do you how many skimpy outfits
I have had to put on
for this team?
Did you hear me complain when
I had to put on a cat suit
or seven-inch
platform high heels
or a belly dancing outfit?
Belly dancing?
Okay, that was private.
Look, just put on the banana
hammock and stop whining.
You okay, Walker?
You seem a little emotional
these days.
Shut up.
Guys, I lost Verbanski.
What? What do you mean,
you lost Verbanski?
Falcone musta scoped
our Mickey Mouse security.
Verbanski? Verbanski?
She's not responding
on comms.
Her signal is still
transmitting.
I'm showing her at the far
west corner of the hotel.
VERBANSKI:
Casey, I need your help!
We're coming in.
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
Falcone must be holding her in
the Presidential Suite.
(door opens)
Where's Falcone?
We're meeting him for dinner,
John.
In the meantime, I suggest
we work up an appetite.
I'll show you what's
under mine
if you show me
what's under yours.
You've been a naughty,
naughty colonel.
What is it?
Sarah, what's wrong?
Everything.
It's all wrong.
(Casey sighs)
Well, very smart, Ms. Verbanski:
meeting in public,
bringing your own security team.
It's like you don't trust me.
(chuckles)
(chuckles)
(gun cocks)
Easy, Casey.
This is my price.
And this is mine...
provided the merchandise
meets my specs.
Some woman, your boss.
I have a private weapons range.
Meet me there
at midnight.
And don't forget your checkbook.
Are you seriously considering
going to an unsecured location?
John, I want those guns.
And when I want something...
Any... (clears throat) Anyhoo,
I'd like to, uh,
on behalf of our team,
propose a toast
to you
because honestly, kudos.
I like how you do business.
Know what I mean?
This op is top-shelf.
Well, you know, at Verbanski
Corp we have a work hard,
play hard philosophy.
Here's to playing harder.
Excuse me.
I'll be at the bar.
Don't worry.
I got this. I got this.
Put it on your tab,
Mr. Verbanski?
Mind if I give you
a little advice?
If you use the word "care,"
I'm gonna take this glass,
shove it down your throat
and punch you in the stomach
so it shatters, hmm?
Okay. It's not spy advice.
It's actually relationship
advice.
She doesn't want
a relationship.
She wants a lackey, a lapdog,
a beefcake.
What is Verbanski really trying
to tell you,
John, huh?
Because even tough women like
Gertrude and Sarah,
they're constantly giving out
these secret signals
that you need
to be sensitive to.
I know we spend
so much time sharpening
our spy senses that we forget to
use this, this guy, the heart.
You know what I'm
talking about.
And you need to learn how
to listen with your heart.
Come on.
I'll show you how it's done.
Are you all ready to order?
Oh, uh, I think I might need
a couple extra minutes.
Mmm, you just
kind of...
gonna have to listen to her,
listen to her, okay?
I know what she wants before
she knows what she wants.
Observe.
Actually, I'd love
to order for my lady.
If you don't mind, hon.
I think to wet her whistle,
she'll start with
a glass of your Barolo.
I'm so wrong.
We're on vacation.
Vodka martini up.
Thank you very much.
Entree: bone-in rib eye
extra rare, I'm talking blue
or as blue as you can find.
as in mooing on
the plate. (moos)
That's bad-- I don't
do a good cow. (chuckles)
She's like a book,
and I'm an emotional
speed-reader, my friend.
What's going on, bro?
Devon, you have
been targeted.
Targeted?
What? Who?
Jeff and Lester.
They think that you're some sort
of international super spy.
(chuckles)
Those idiots? Why?
Because I told 'em.
Maybe it's because Jeff is no
longer an idiot, I don't know.
But those two stumbled upon our
actual spy operation.
You see?
Gotcha. You need me
to throw 'em off the scent.
Hey... now you're
thinking like a spy.
Here's the key question:
Can you act like one?
Can I go formal?
I've secured the U-238.
This device
will make you
more powerful
than you ever dreamed.
Location forthcoming.
Wait, wait, wait.
Are you sure you don't want us
to do a little recon
before it's too late?
It's not my
first arms deal.
I'm good for my half.
And you?
Ms. Verbanski,
do you always dress your
security this well?
Looks soft.
Just show us the guns, huh?
Yeah.
I present to you...
the Aegis.
Please, have a try.
Casey, don't we need
ear protection or something?
Huh, not bad.
Not bad.
Verbanski Corp will take
full delivery.
Three million dollars.
No deal.
Actually, I'll take your money.
But you can leave me your guns.
(guns cocking)
Casey, why aren't they dead?
ROCKY: What your boss
didn't tell you,
is that the Aegis has
a safety feature.
Each gun can be coded so that it
can't be fired at someone
carrying an Aegis with
the same code.
It's a way of preventing
friendly fire.
(laughing)
Ingenious, no?
Quite.
Except my team's weapons
don't have that safety feature.
And it would be a shame
if someone got shot.
The price just changed, Rock.
How does free grab you?
Okay, would someone like
to please explain to me
what the heck
is going on?
So this was your plan all along.
We were the loser team you hired
so Rocky'd think
you were vulnerable.
Nice.
No. I still need you, John.
Rocky is just the first piece
of the puzzle.
The real mission starts now.
I'm out.
Casey, wait.
Whoa, hey... Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Team meeting, team meeting.
Casey, you can't
just walk away.
If you quit now, we'll be
lucky to see the retainer.
Besides, what did we talk about
at the restaurant, huh?
What did we talk about?
Are you using this?
I think you owe it
to our client.
Listen to her signals.
What is she really telling you?
You think I need to be
more sensitive?
More in tune with my
girlfriend's emotions, hmm?
You're one to talk.
What's that supposed to mean?
It means you've got your head
so far up your new
CARE manifesto
you don't even realize your own
wife thinks she's pregnant
and is hiding
it from you.
What are you crazy?
There's no way...
There's no way she could
be pregnant.
I'd have to be the most
clueless,
insensitive, uncaring...
Uh, Chuck...
Sarah, I'm sorry. I didn't
exactly pick up on your signals.
No, I'm sorry. I should
have just told you.
It just felt like if I said
it out loud, it would
suddenly become real.
It's changing, it's changing,
it's changing.
What is that--
an equal sign, an arrow?
A peace sign?
Is that an option?
Um...
Uh, okay, that means no.
I'm not pregnant.
Okay, all right.
And you feel...?
Strange.
Maybe a little relieved.
Same.
Same.
But this whole thing
has gotten me thinking
about our lives, our future.
Chuck...
I mean, honestly, Sarah,
is the spy lifestyle
really where we want
to be raising our kids,
you know, putting ourselves
in danger every day?
Chuck...
Yeah?
You're spiraling.
Mm-hmm.
I need you back in immediately.
I was telling Casey the truth.
I leveraged Rocky Falcone
to give up his supplier.
Pedro St. Germain is notorious.
All guns and narcotics
that come up from the South
flow through him.
He has an enormous FBI bounty
on his head
if I'm not mistaken.
And that's where
the real mission comes in.
The FBI hired me
to find St. Germain.
And Falcone kindly gave up his
exact location in the Everglades.
We're in. We'll be in
Miami by nightfall.
Actually, honey, I think
we should discuss this.
Discuss what?
I don't think it's safe
for prospective parents
to be in a
situation like this.
I've been toying with cutting
back on the grunt work.
That's cute. I just figured
you'd want to finish the mission
you started and take some of the
proceeds...
Un momento. I was just saying
maybe we should talk about...
And she hung up.
Chuck, stop spiraling.
I'm-I'm not spiraling.
You're spiraling.
Ooh, yeah, cashmere, nice.
Do you mind? I have a tailor who
can make me two sweaters
out of this bad boy.
Rough mission?
I don't want to talk about it.
Okay, that's no problem.
Tons to talk about.
Lot of stuff going on
at the Buy More.
Verbanski wasn't bringing
me a mission.
It was an all-expenses-paid
vacation.
Sun, sand, sex.
The nerve
of that woman.
I'm not a kept man.
I'm a spy, damn it.
Don't I know it.
Trust me.
In fact, I might have a little
spy work for you.
What kind of spy work
do you have?
Hmm.
I'm making the drop now.
I have my eyes on the drop spot.
Ten-four. Let's go.
Okay. It's oddly
comfortable running in heels.
Perfect. Come on.
Just so you know,
I'm keeping these shoes.
Calm down, Jeff.
We strike from
the east entrance.
Take St. Germain alive.
Figured it was only
a matter of time
before that rat Falcone
sold me out.
You waving that gun around for
show or are you going to use it?
(laughing)
(cell phone ringtone)
Yeah? I take it
this is an apology.
I got your girlfriend,
so you might want to listen up.
(sighs)
You got her all tied up,
do you?
Uh, yeah, yeah, she is.
Uh-huh. And she needs
her big, strong boyfriend
to come rescue her, right?
Again, correct.
And bring $10 million cash.
That's a nice detail.
Look, you tell Verbanski
she fooled me once--
she's not going to fool
me again, got it?
She said you'd
be playing hardball.
Don't pay him anything, Casey!
I can handle it myself!
Didn't I tell you to shut up?!
Gertrude? Gertrude?
So $10 million by tonight
or she dies.
Okay.
10 mil to go.
Think they'll check to see
if it's counterfeit?
Oh, I'm pretty sure they will.
If all goes according to plan,
they're not going to be in any
condition to check anything.
Undetectable
if the case is searched.
Walker, when I say
the code word "CARE,"
you start picking off the guards
so I can get to my weapon.
And my job would be?
You're getaway driver.
Trust me, Chuck,
you don't want to have
anything to do with this.
It's going to be
a bloodbath in there.
You just be ready for extraction
when the time comes.
Okay, let's do it.
Oh, hey, Walker, listen.
You sure you're not, uh...?
I'm not pregnant.
Okay.
Because this is going to be dangerous...
I know.
I get how dangerous
it is. Let's go.
Stop.
I'm unarmed.
I'm here for a trade
with St. Germain.
There's a guy here who says
he wants to make a trade
with St. Germain.
Copy that.
- What if we had a baby at home?
- Excuse me?
What if we had a baby
relying on us to come home,
and something happened?
Something?
Something, anything.
I don't know,
we didn't come home.
Who would raise the kids?
What-what would happen then?
Honey, we don't have a baby,
let alone babies plural.
Not now, but we will.
Maybe you're right--
spying and parenting
just don't go together.
Sarah, you're spiraling, okay?
Take a deep breath.
Everything's going
to be fine, I promise.
Okay.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
We need to split up.
Your knight in shining armor
has arrived.
Let's see what you brought me.
I'm almost to the compound,
Casey.
(twig crunches)
(grunting)
Ah!
CHUCK:
Sarah! I'm coming!
(grunts)
Ah...
Sarah, are you okay?
Yeah. I'm fine,
I'm fine, I'm fine.
It was just a flash grenade.
But I-I can't see.
I could've handled this myself.
I couldn't leave you
out here in the swamp.
Because I care.
Okay, that's Casey.
You've got to go.
Are you crazy?
I'm not going to leave
you here alone.
No. I'll be fine in a minute.
Please, just take my gun in case
something goes wrong, okay?
I'm not gonna need it,
I have the AEGIS.
I love you.
Be safe, okay?
I said, I care.
Ah, maybe I care too much.
(sighs)
I've been working so hard
on my spy senses, too.
My eyes,
my ears,
my fists...
What I should've
been working on is this.
John, stop. Stop.
Please stop.
No, I can't, Gertrude...
because I love you.
And I need you to know
how much I care.
I care a lot.
I don't know who you're
trying to signal, man,
but it all stops right now.
Sorry I'm late.
I've got the Aegis.
They can't hit us.
We need to
get to cover!
I am the cover!
Move, move, move!
Ah, ah...
Move!
I heard your speech!
It's great that you're opening
up your heart like that!
Yeah.
Move, move!
ST. GERMAIN:
Good show!
Very entertaining.
But shotguns don't have
safeties.
Don't worry.
I wore my seatbelt.
Hey.
Hey.
Everything all right?
Yeah, I'm just
doing some thinking.
Uh...
I have a small
confession to make:
part of me was kind of hoping
that I was pregnant.
I've thought a lot
about that, too.
And... yeah, I think
it'd be kind of exciting.
I mean, it's not like I want
a baby right this second,
but it's not the
worst idea in the world.
No. No, it's not.
Listen to us,
talking about kids,
and a house, and a real family.
Did you think we'd ever be
talking about stuff like this?
Nope.
Especially not with
such a huge nerd.
Ah ha ha...
♪
Thought we were past this.
Just open it.
Stops anything this
side of a .30-06.
I saw you eyeing that
guard's vest in Miami.
Look, I'm...
I'm sorry for dragging you
on a glorified vacation.
I... I guess it was
just my misguided way
of saying that I...
want to be close to you.
Thanks.
I feel the same.
I know Miami wasn't
really your scene.
But my next mission is
in a much better place.
Dresden.
Ah... Dresden.
Harsh, cold.
Come with me.
Two months, real danger.
Who knows? We could
both get shot.
You know I'd love to.
But, um, two months is a long
time to be away from here.
Mm, well...
when you're ready,
I'll be there.
Unless, of course, you have
another woman behind the scenes.
No.
Not exactly.
So, I have this friend.
She's out of town right
now, but I'd like...
for you to meet her sometime.
"Friend"?
Like a girlfriend?
Nah... not like a girlfriend.
Okay.
Yeah, actually,
like a girlfriend.
Well, I would, uh...
love to meet her.
Perfect.
Oh, no.
What?
The housemaid is laying out
coffee spoons with
the dinner service.
There is going to be hell to pay
at Downton Abbey tonight.
So...
Devon Woodcomb--
who, last time I checked,
was an extremely handsome
medical doctor--
and you think he's
building a nuclear bomb?
We know the location
of the bomb.
We don't just think it;
we know it!
Voilà!
That's a Outback coupon.
So it is.
Voilà!
Come with us.
Let's blow this thing wide open.
Yeah, fine.
I've only walked
.53 miles today.
Another few steps
wouldn't hurt me.
You, sir, are
an American hero.
He's up to something.
What on earth?
After we open this door,
there's no going back.
Let's do this.
I'm still at 1,500 steps.
Oh, careful, careful.
Careful.
(Lester clears throat)
Ahem.
What are you guys doing here?
How'd you find this place?
Uh, the better question is,
what are you doing here?
Really, what are you doing here?
I'm-I'm confused.
Ellie doesn't like
my workout equipment
around the house, so...
I figured this would be perfect.
Chuck told me about
this abandoned basement.
But...
the U238.
It was being delivered here.
You mean this?
About to make my biceps
go nuclear.
Then why all the secrecy?
Well, some of these exercise
techniques aren't exactly...
legal... in the US.
If you catch my drift.
Are you two happy?
Let the statuesque man
work out in peace.
Is that a pedometer?
Got a whole box
of them upstairs.
(whistles)
Sweet.
BIG MIKE:
I'll work you out a deal.
CAPTAIN: Yeah, we got to work out
sometime, Big Mike.
I like your style.
BIG MIKE:
Do a lot of working out.
It's too easy.
(spluttering)
Well...
The whole search... worthless.
There's no spies,
no secret base.
Nothing.
Ah, Jeffrey, you know...
maybe this wasn't a search
for a secret spy base.
Maybe this was a search
for friendship.
How do you mean?
I don't know.
I just wanted to say
something to cheer you up.
Would you just come here?
Okay, buddy? Okay?
All right, let's
get out of here.
Thank you.
This place reeks.
What the...?
It's still wet.
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
Remember when I
was at Pine Ridge?
The, uh, mental institution?
Yeah.
It was so dreary,
they'd actually put fake
backdrops in the windows.
That's pretty cruel.
I always knew it was fake.
Um, where are we
going with this, buddy?
I guess what I'm
trying to say is...
it's not always easy to
trick a mental patient.
JEFF:
I knew it!
We were right!
Lester...
Jeffrey!
Oh... crap.
I mean, we got a problem.
Yeah, yeah, I'd call it that.
== sync, corrected by elderman ==>
Sync for web-dl by sn655321
Here are a few things that
you might need to know.
Come on. Carmichael Industries.
The independence and freedom
to do what we want when we want.
I had no idea I had
such strong feelings for him.
I have to disappear for a while.
All members of
Carmichael Industries
have a position
open to them at the CIA.
If we go back, it's just
gonna be missions and secrets.
I don't want to go back.
Okay.
All we need is each other.
So, Mr. Carmichael,
tell me,
how do you feel like
dying today?
Honestly?
You're gonna make me decide?
I find it says
a lot about a man.
I-I, you know, I don't know.
Can't you just pick something?
I've got a lot
on my plate right now.
Like what?
Running your
own company.
It's just, you know, there's
a lot of responsibility
that comes with that.
Not that I don't care
about recovering
spent nuclear fuel
rods, 'cause I do,
but you got to keep your
eye the bottom line.
And with missions, the
bottom line is cash, man.
You know,
with all these
private security firms
out there,
I-I think maybe I'm coming
at this the wrong way.
Maybe Carmichael Industries
needs a new hook, you know?
SARAH:
Almost there, Chuck.
You're very good at talking.
Exactly.
Any spy can sneak
into a building
and-and snap
a few necks.
But what are we doing right
here, right now, the two of us?
We're talking about our
hopes and our dreams.
So you're spies that care?
You're a genius.
That's inspired.
I'm gonna use that.
Can I use that?
I'm glad I could help you,
Mr. Carmichael,
but I think I'll start
by cutting out your tongue.
That would be a horrible idea.
I would not want to do that.
Especially with
such a blunt object.
Stop it, baldy!
Oh, my God.
Chuck, are you okay?
I think we just had
a breakthrough, honey.
Do you think it's
okay to touch that
without a radiation suit?
Shouldn't be any worse
than a couple
dozen X-rays.
We'll be fine,
as long as no one's pregnant.
(laughs)
(chuckles)
Okay, Casey,
I'm gonna let you take that.
Let's go.
Don't tell me you're
getting sentimental.
"Welcome back, Gertrude.
"Good to see you, Gertrude.
I missed you,
Gertrude."
Just nod your head if you agree
with any of this.
Didn't hear you come in.
That's because
I took off my heels.
Among other things.
I guess you heard you're not
wanted for murder anymore.
Beckman put a lid
on that whole Decker thing.
Turns out, he was just
a patsy, just...
I didn't fly halfway across
the world to be debriefed.
Uh-uh.
That's your job, John.
Mm...
I thought you said
you were coming to bed.
Have you been
up all night long?
That bad guy
got me thinking.
The one who tried
to cut your tongue out?
Our mission statement,
our mission statement.
We spend so much time
focusing on spy missions,
that we've lost sight of
the-the, you know, uh,
"what are we doing,
why are we here" mission.
Are you feeling okay?
I think that pizza
that Morgan left in the fridge
is starting to turn.
I have never thought
more clearly in my life.
Oh, "the things we feel
but do not share."
What can we, Carmichael
Industries, offer our clients
that other
security firms can't? Go.
Discount electronics?
We care, Sarah.
We care.
C-A-R-E.
Clandestine Agents
Relating Emotionally.
Get it?
(groans)
You hate it.
No, I think
it's very interesting.
I just, uh, I just feel
very queasy suddenly.
Huh.
Maybe the pizza was bad.
Who told you
you could get dressed?
It's a work day, remember?
First of all,
I have something for you.
Hmm?
Open it.
It's a... sweater.
Why's it so soft?
It's cashmere.
Doesn't feel
flame-retardant.
It's the perfect weight for
a winter night in South Beach.
What's in South Beach?
The second part
of your surprise.
You and I are going to Miami
for three nights at the Maya.
In the middle of the week?
I can't just take off
and sun my buns in Miami.
No, no, no.
I have a job.
Two, technically.
Right, right.
I get it.
I'll, uh, call you later.
Okay.
- Good.
- Hey.
Don't forget your new sweater.
Why are we looking at
surveillance footage
from this morning?
I don't know... yet.
Ever since I got
my brain cleaned,
I've had this suspicion
that something's happening
behind the scenes here.
Wait a minute.
Is that...?
Bingo.
John Casey wearing
a deep V-neck
cashmere sweater.
Who are you,
John Casey?
And what's he doing sneaking
around the Buy More hours
before his shift starts?
Maybe he's here
to meet somebody.
JEFF:
Those two.
Of course
they're in on it.
In on what?
They're probably just doing it
in the home theater room
like I do.
Not likely.
I'm gonna need some
three-by-five cards, stat.
Okay.
Stat!
Ooh!
I got to say, I'm grooving
on that deep V, Casey.
What do you got here?
"Clandestine Agents
Relating Emotionally."
(snaps fingers)
CARE?
Mm-hmm.
You really think this is
what our clients want,
private security firm
that holds their hands,
builds their self-esteem,
tells them they're special?
Isn't that what
everyone wants, Casey?
And it's no coincidence
that we booked
our first client in forever,
hours after I put my CARE
statement on our Web site.
We have a Web site?
Who's the client?
Hey.
I told you I
was working.
So am I.
You're the cl--
She's the client?
May I remind you that you have
your own personal security firm.
My personnel are
stretched a bit thin.
Besides, your company
offers a level of service
that other companies
just don't offer.
You care.
(mouthing)
And I intend to take
full advantage of that.
See? Mission statement
working already.
♪ Chuck 5x09 ♪
Chuck Versus the Kept Man
Original Air Date on January 6, 2012
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
Sync for web-dl.ViPER by sn655321
♪
(tires screeching)
♪ Na-na na-na na-
♪ Na-na na-na
na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na
♪ Na-na na-na
na-na ♪
♪ Na-na na-na na-na
♪ Na-na na-na
na-na ♪
(whimpers)
Rocky Falcone,
cologne wearing scumbag
He's murdered his way into
becoming one of the biggest
arms dealers in Miami.
We have some business
that he insists on
conducting face-to-face.
You'll act as protection.
Where's the meet?
Miami.
Mm, what a coincidence.
Is it okay
if I make the retainer fee
payable to
Carmichael Industries?
Sure.
Actually, I'm gonna pay
the whole fee right up front.
We haven't said yes
to running...
Yes.
Yes.
Meet you on the runway
bright and early.
That way, we can catch
some pool time.
CHUCK:
Sounds good.
See you in the a.m.
What is your problem?
Yeah, seriously,
what is your problem?
That was not
very caring, Casey.
An above-board
arms deal in Miami?
Sounds like a vacation.
Haven't you had enough
kidnapping, torture
and bloodshed?
CHUCK:
Besides, we haven't
made a cent in months,
and your girlfriend
has deep pockets.
She's not my girlfriend.
Whatever you want to call her,
she's our new client.
Pack your bags, lover boy.
We're going to South Beach.
Are you going out of town?
Yeah, something came up.
I have to leave
for a couple days.
Movie night.
It's okay, we'll
do it next week.
And don't worry, I
have already chosen
what we'll watch.
"Downton Abbey.worry, I
have already chosen
An upstairs/downstairs costume
drama in early 1900s England."
Yeah, something tells me,
not gonna be a lot of explosions
in that one.
Are you kidding?
What about the bombs they drop
on Edwardian convention?
(scoffs)
Uh, listen, I-I-- yeah.
It's okay,
you don't have to explain.
You're my hero.
Please pardon the speculative
nature of my research.
This is just the first stab
at what I think
our coworkers are really up to.
Okay.
Obviously, some of my deductions
are quite tenuous,
but if you'll bear with me
for just a moment...
You think they're spies?
Casey and Sarah?
Yes. Probably NSA or CIA.
Chuck is some kind of asset.
The only thing left
to figure out is this.
There's a fourth
member of their team.
He's their secret weapon.
What are you guys doing?
He's seen too much. Grab him!
MORGAN: Guys! Guys, guys,
guys, guys.
JEFF: You see how he
slipped out like that?
Maybe he's our
mystery agent.
(scoffs)
Wait, wait, easy.
Easy there, Jeffrey.
I was with you on the whole
conspiracy theory thing,
but seriously, this loser,
a spy?
I mean, come on. Come on.
Yeah, I mean, come on.
Either way, he's gonna tell
Chuck we're on to him.
Fine. We'll kill him.
What? No. Guys, I'm not gonna
tell Chuck squat, all right?
I've been conducting
my own investigation,
and you guys are
absolutely right.
You nailed it,
all right?
There is a mystery agent.
I've tracked him down.
And, uh, I got him.
You... are you, uh...
you're gonna...
this is gonna
blow your mind.
You're gonna be, like, "What?
There's no way he's, you know."
But boom,
there he is, all right?
If that's not James Bond,
I don't know what is, right?
Of course.
♪
Hello, darling.
Oh, garcon, another daiquiri
for me. And you?
Just another sparkling water,
please.
You heard the lady.
And you can put that on
Ms. Verbanski's room.
Thank you very much.
CASEY (over comm): Chuck, Sarah,
stay focused on the mission.
Gertrude, you have a bogey
closing from your 9:00.
Walker, you have
a positive I.D.?
That's a negative on
Falcone, but there
could be another
one of his heavies.
Your call, Casey.
I'll handle it.
Package for Ms. Verbanski...
Whoa!
Thank you.
A little jumpy, John?
I thought he was one
of Falcone's men.
Didn't know what he had.
It's a little something that
I found for you in the lobby.
What the hell is it?
It's a swimsuit, John.
Your job is to blend in
around here,
and I'd like you
to put it on, please.
Change room right there.
Oh, God.
You know, look,
I mean, honestly, Falcone
is not gonna be showing
his face down here.
You wanna go take a little dip
in the hot tub
with me?
No. No, I don't think
that's a good idea.
No booze, no Jacuzz,
what's gotten into my wife?
Look, why don't you just stay
put and take care of the client?
I'm gonna go
check on Casey, okay?
Casey.
(hushed):
Just a minute!
Oh, God,
I'm coming in.
I can't do it, Walker.
Sometimes Gertrude,
she doesn't even listen
to what I'm trying to tell her.
I can sympathize.
Thank you.
But you're putting on
that bathing suit.
Like hell.
This is a dream mission, Casey,
and I'm not gonna
let you screw it up.
Do you how many skimpy outfits
I have had to put on
for this team?
Did you hear me complain when
I had to put on a cat suit
or seven-inch
platform high heels
or a belly dancing outfit?
Belly dancing?
Okay, that was private.
Look, just put on the banana
hammock and stop whining.
You okay, Walker?
You seem a little emotional
these days.
Shut up.
Guys, I lost Verbanski.
What? What do you mean,
you lost Verbanski?
Falcone musta scoped
our Mickey Mouse security.
Verbanski? Verbanski?
She's not responding
on comms.
Her signal is still
transmitting.
I'm showing her at the far
west corner of the hotel.
VERBANSKI:
Casey, I need your help!
We're coming in.
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
Falcone must be holding her in
the Presidential Suite.
(door opens)
Where's Falcone?
We're meeting him for dinner,
John.
In the meantime, I suggest
we work up an appetite.
I'll show you what's
under mine
if you show me
what's under yours.
You've been a naughty,
naughty colonel.
What is it?
Sarah, what's wrong?
Everything.
It's all wrong.
(Casey sighs)
Well, very smart, Ms. Verbanski:
meeting in public,
bringing your own security team.
It's like you don't trust me.
(chuckles)
(chuckles)
(gun cocks)
Easy, Casey.
This is my price.
And this is mine...
provided the merchandise
meets my specs.
Some woman, your boss.
I have a private weapons range.
Meet me there
at midnight.
And don't forget your checkbook.
Are you seriously considering
going to an unsecured location?
John, I want those guns.
And when I want something...
Any... (clears throat) Anyhoo,
I'd like to, uh,
on behalf of our team,
propose a toast
to you
because honestly, kudos.
I like how you do business.
Know what I mean?
This op is top-shelf.
Well, you know, at Verbanski
Corp we have a work hard,
play hard philosophy.
Here's to playing harder.
Excuse me.
I'll be at the bar.
Don't worry.
I got this. I got this.
Put it on your tab,
Mr. Verbanski?
Mind if I give you
a little advice?
If you use the word "care,"
I'm gonna take this glass,
shove it down your throat
and punch you in the stomach
so it shatters, hmm?
Okay. It's not spy advice.
It's actually relationship
advice.
She doesn't want
a relationship.
She wants a lackey, a lapdog,
a beefcake.
What is Verbanski really trying
to tell you,
John, huh?
Because even tough women like
Gertrude and Sarah,
they're constantly giving out
these secret signals
that you need
to be sensitive to.
I know we spend
so much time sharpening
our spy senses that we forget to
use this, this guy, the heart.
You know what I'm
talking about.
And you need to learn how
to listen with your heart.
Come on.
I'll show you how it's done.
Are you all ready to order?
Oh, uh, I think I might need
a couple extra minutes.
Mmm, you just
kind of...
gonna have to listen to her,
listen to her, okay?
I know what she wants before
she knows what she wants.
Observe.
Actually, I'd love
to order for my lady.
If you don't mind, hon.
I think to wet her whistle,
she'll start with
a glass of your Barolo.
I'm so wrong.
We're on vacation.
Vodka martini up.
Thank you very much.
Entree: bone-in rib eye
extra rare, I'm talking blue
or as blue as you can find.
as in mooing on
the plate. (moos)
That's bad-- I don't
do a good cow. (chuckles)
She's like a book,
and I'm an emotional
speed-reader, my friend.
What's going on, bro?
Devon, you have
been targeted.
Targeted?
What? Who?
Jeff and Lester.
They think that you're some sort
of international super spy.
(chuckles)
Those idiots? Why?
Because I told 'em.
Maybe it's because Jeff is no
longer an idiot, I don't know.
But those two stumbled upon our
actual spy operation.
You see?
Gotcha. You need me
to throw 'em off the scent.
Hey... now you're
thinking like a spy.
Here's the key question:
Can you act like one?
Can I go formal?
I've secured the U-238.
This device
will make you
more powerful
than you ever dreamed.
Location forthcoming.
Wait, wait, wait.
Are you sure you don't want us
to do a little recon
before it's too late?
It's not my
first arms deal.
I'm good for my half.
And you?
Ms. Verbanski,
do you always dress your
security this well?
Looks soft.
Just show us the guns, huh?
Yeah.
I present to you...
the Aegis.
Please, have a try.
Casey, don't we need
ear protection or something?
Huh, not bad.
Not bad.
Verbanski Corp will take
full delivery.
Three million dollars.
No deal.
Actually, I'll take your money.
But you can leave me your guns.
(guns cocking)
Casey, why aren't they dead?
ROCKY: What your boss
didn't tell you,
is that the Aegis has
a safety feature.
Each gun can be coded so that it
can't be fired at someone
carrying an Aegis with
the same code.
It's a way of preventing
friendly fire.
(laughing)
Ingenious, no?
Quite.
Except my team's weapons
don't have that safety feature.
And it would be a shame
if someone got shot.
The price just changed, Rock.
How does free grab you?
Okay, would someone like
to please explain to me
what the heck
is going on?
So this was your plan all along.
We were the loser team you hired
so Rocky'd think
you were vulnerable.
Nice.
No. I still need you, John.
Rocky is just the first piece
of the puzzle.
The real mission starts now.
I'm out.
Casey, wait.
Whoa, hey... Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Team meeting, team meeting.
Casey, you can't
just walk away.
If you quit now, we'll be
lucky to see the retainer.
Besides, what did we talk about
at the restaurant, huh?
What did we talk about?
Are you using this?
I think you owe it
to our client.
Listen to her signals.
What is she really telling you?
You think I need to be
more sensitive?
More in tune with my
girlfriend's emotions, hmm?
You're one to talk.
What's that supposed to mean?
It means you've got your head
so far up your new
CARE manifesto
you don't even realize your own
wife thinks she's pregnant
and is hiding
it from you.
What are you crazy?
There's no way...
There's no way she could
be pregnant.
I'd have to be the most
clueless,
insensitive, uncaring...
Uh, Chuck...
Sarah, I'm sorry. I didn't
exactly pick up on your signals.
No, I'm sorry. I should
have just told you.
It just felt like if I said
it out loud, it would
suddenly become real.
It's changing, it's changing,
it's changing.
What is that--
an equal sign, an arrow?
A peace sign?
Is that an option?
Um...
Uh, okay, that means no.
I'm not pregnant.
Okay, all right.
And you feel...?
Strange.
Maybe a little relieved.
Same.
Same.
But this whole thing
has gotten me thinking
about our lives, our future.
Chuck...
I mean, honestly, Sarah,
is the spy lifestyle
really where we want
to be raising our kids,
you know, putting ourselves
in danger every day?
Chuck...
Yeah?
You're spiraling.
Mm-hmm.
I need you back in immediately.
I was telling Casey the truth.
I leveraged Rocky Falcone
to give up his supplier.
Pedro St. Germain is notorious.
All guns and narcotics
that come up from the South
flow through him.
He has an enormous FBI bounty
on his head
if I'm not mistaken.
And that's where
the real mission comes in.
The FBI hired me
to find St. Germain.
And Falcone kindly gave up his
exact location in the Everglades.
We're in. We'll be in
Miami by nightfall.
Actually, honey, I think
we should discuss this.
Discuss what?
I don't think it's safe
for prospective parents
to be in a
situation like this.
I've been toying with cutting
back on the grunt work.
That's cute. I just figured
you'd want to finish the mission
you started and take some of the
proceeds...
Un momento. I was just saying
maybe we should talk about...
And she hung up.
Chuck, stop spiraling.
I'm-I'm not spiraling.
You're spiraling.
Ooh, yeah, cashmere, nice.
Do you mind? I have a tailor who
can make me two sweaters
out of this bad boy.
Rough mission?
I don't want to talk about it.
Okay, that's no problem.
Tons to talk about.
Lot of stuff going on
at the Buy More.
Verbanski wasn't bringing
me a mission.
It was an all-expenses-paid
vacation.
Sun, sand, sex.
The nerve
of that woman.
I'm not a kept man.
I'm a spy, damn it.
Don't I know it.
Trust me.
In fact, I might have a little
spy work for you.
What kind of spy work
do you have?
Hmm.
I'm making the drop now.
I have my eyes on the drop spot.
Ten-four. Let's go.
Okay. It's oddly
comfortable running in heels.
Perfect. Come on.
Just so you know,
I'm keeping these shoes.
Calm down, Jeff.
We strike from
the east entrance.
Take St. Germain alive.
Figured it was only
a matter of time
before that rat Falcone
sold me out.
You waving that gun around for
show or are you going to use it?
(laughing)
(cell phone ringtone)
Yeah? I take it
this is an apology.
I got your girlfriend,
so you might want to listen up.
(sighs)
You got her all tied up,
do you?
Uh, yeah, yeah, she is.
Uh-huh. And she needs
her big, strong boyfriend
to come rescue her, right?
Again, correct.
And bring $10 million cash.
That's a nice detail.
Look, you tell Verbanski
she fooled me once--
she's not going to fool
me again, got it?
She said you'd
be playing hardball.
Don't pay him anything, Casey!
I can handle it myself!
Didn't I tell you to shut up?!
Gertrude? Gertrude?
So $10 million by tonight
or she dies.
Okay.
10 mil to go.
Think they'll check to see
if it's counterfeit?
Oh, I'm pretty sure they will.
If all goes according to plan,
they're not going to be in any
condition to check anything.
Undetectable
if the case is searched.
Walker, when I say
the code word "CARE,"
you start picking off the guards
so I can get to my weapon.
And my job would be?
You're getaway driver.
Trust me, Chuck,
you don't want to have
anything to do with this.
It's going to be
a bloodbath in there.
You just be ready for extraction
when the time comes.
Okay, let's do it.
Oh, hey, Walker, listen.
You sure you're not, uh...?
I'm not pregnant.
Okay.
Because this is going to be dangerous...
I know.
I get how dangerous
it is. Let's go.
Stop.
I'm unarmed.
I'm here for a trade
with St. Germain.
There's a guy here who says
he wants to make a trade
with St. Germain.
Copy that.
- What if we had a baby at home?
- Excuse me?
What if we had a baby
relying on us to come home,
and something happened?
Something?
Something, anything.
I don't know,
we didn't come home.
Who would raise the kids?
What-what would happen then?
Honey, we don't have a baby,
let alone babies plural.
Not now, but we will.
Maybe you're right--
spying and parenting
just don't go together.
Sarah, you're spiraling, okay?
Take a deep breath.
Everything's going
to be fine, I promise.
Okay.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
We need to split up.
Your knight in shining armor
has arrived.
Let's see what you brought me.
I'm almost to the compound,
Casey.
(twig crunches)
(grunting)
Ah!
CHUCK:
Sarah! I'm coming!
(grunts)
Ah...
Sarah, are you okay?
Yeah. I'm fine,
I'm fine, I'm fine.
It was just a flash grenade.
But I-I can't see.
I could've handled this myself.
I couldn't leave you
out here in the swamp.
Because I care.
Okay, that's Casey.
You've got to go.
Are you crazy?
I'm not going to leave
you here alone.
No. I'll be fine in a minute.
Please, just take my gun in case
something goes wrong, okay?
I'm not gonna need it,
I have the AEGIS.
I love you.
Be safe, okay?
I said, I care.
Ah, maybe I care too much.
(sighs)
I've been working so hard
on my spy senses, too.
My eyes,
my ears,
my fists...
What I should've
been working on is this.
John, stop. Stop.
Please stop.
No, I can't, Gertrude...
because I love you.
And I need you to know
how much I care.
I care a lot.
I don't know who you're
trying to signal, man,
but it all stops right now.
Sorry I'm late.
I've got the Aegis.
They can't hit us.
We need to
get to cover!
I am the cover!
Move, move, move!
Ah, ah...
Move!
I heard your speech!
It's great that you're opening
up your heart like that!
Yeah.
Move, move!
ST. GERMAIN:
Good show!
Very entertaining.
But shotguns don't have
safeties.
Don't worry.
I wore my seatbelt.
Hey.
Hey.
Everything all right?
Yeah, I'm just
doing some thinking.
Uh...
I have a small
confession to make:
part of me was kind of hoping
that I was pregnant.
I've thought a lot
about that, too.
And... yeah, I think
it'd be kind of exciting.
I mean, it's not like I want
a baby right this second,
but it's not the
worst idea in the world.
No. No, it's not.
Listen to us,
talking about kids,
and a house, and a real family.
Did you think we'd ever be
talking about stuff like this?
Nope.
Especially not with
such a huge nerd.
Ah ha ha...
♪
Thought we were past this.
Just open it.
Stops anything this
side of a .30-06.
I saw you eyeing that
guard's vest in Miami.
Look, I'm...
I'm sorry for dragging you
on a glorified vacation.
I... I guess it was
just my misguided way
of saying that I...
want to be close to you.
Thanks.
I feel the same.
I know Miami wasn't
really your scene.
But my next mission is
in a much better place.
Dresden.
Ah... Dresden.
Harsh, cold.
Come with me.
Two months, real danger.
Who knows? We could
both get shot.
You know I'd love to.
But, um, two months is a long
time to be away from here.
Mm, well...
when you're ready,
I'll be there.
Unless, of course, you have
another woman behind the scenes.
No.
Not exactly.
So, I have this friend.
She's out of town right
now, but I'd like...
for you to meet her sometime.
"Friend"?
Like a girlfriend?
Nah... not like a girlfriend.
Okay.
Yeah, actually,
like a girlfriend.
Well, I would, uh...
love to meet her.
Perfect.
Oh, no.
What?
The housemaid is laying out
coffee spoons with
the dinner service.
There is going to be hell to pay
at Downton Abbey tonight.
So...
Devon Woodcomb--
who, last time I checked,
was an extremely handsome
medical doctor--
and you think he's
building a nuclear bomb?
We know the location
of the bomb.
We don't just think it;
we know it!
Voilà!
That's a Outback coupon.
So it is.
Voilà!
Come with us.
Let's blow this thing wide open.
Yeah, fine.
I've only walked
.53 miles today.
Another few steps
wouldn't hurt me.
You, sir, are
an American hero.
He's up to something.
What on earth?
After we open this door,
there's no going back.
Let's do this.
I'm still at 1,500 steps.
Oh, careful, careful.
Careful.
(Lester clears throat)
Ahem.
What are you guys doing here?
How'd you find this place?
Uh, the better question is,
what are you doing here?
Really, what are you doing here?
I'm-I'm confused.
Ellie doesn't like
my workout equipment
around the house, so...
I figured this would be perfect.
Chuck told me about
this abandoned basement.
But...
the U238.
It was being delivered here.
You mean this?
About to make my biceps
go nuclear.
Then why all the secrecy?
Well, some of these exercise
techniques aren't exactly...
legal... in the US.
If you catch my drift.
Are you two happy?
Let the statuesque man
work out in peace.
Is that a pedometer?
Got a whole box
of them upstairs.
(whistles)
Sweet.
BIG MIKE:
I'll work you out a deal.
CAPTAIN: Yeah, we got to work out
sometime, Big Mike.
I like your style.
BIG MIKE:
Do a lot of working out.
It's too easy.
(spluttering)
Well...
The whole search... worthless.
There's no spies,
no secret base.
Nothing.
Ah, Jeffrey, you know...
maybe this wasn't a search
for a secret spy base.
Maybe this was a search
for friendship.
How do you mean?
I don't know.
I just wanted to say
something to cheer you up.
Would you just come here?
Okay, buddy? Okay?
All right, let's
get out of here.
Thank you.
This place reeks.
What the...?
It's still wet.
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
Remember when I
was at Pine Ridge?
The, uh, mental institution?
Yeah.
It was so dreary,
they'd actually put fake
backdrops in the windows.
That's pretty cruel.
I always knew it was fake.
Um, where are we
going with this, buddy?
I guess what I'm
trying to say is...
it's not always easy to
trick a mental patient.
JEFF:
I knew it!
We were right!
Lester...
Jeffrey!
Oh... crap.
I mean, we got a problem.
Yeah, yeah, I'd call it that.
== sync, corrected by elderman ==>
Sync for web-dl by sn655321