Chuck (2007–2012): Season 4, Episode 18 - Chuck Versus the A-Team - full transcript

Hi. I'm Chuck. Here are a few things
you might need to know.

LESTER: Is it strange that
all of the new employees

have been named Greta?

Devon, this is one
of my father's laptops.

How did...? He left it for
Ellie. There's something on it,

some memory problem
that Ellie figured out.

MORGAN: What was exactly
going down there in Castle?

CASEY:
Are you leveraging me

to stay in my apartment?

Let's say I was.

You can stay at my place,
long as you keep quiet.



Don't tell anyone,
especially Bartowski.

(gasps)

CLOAKED VOICE: Hope you didn't
think this interrogation was over,

Mr. Grimes.

We know about your
involvement with the CIA.

I have no idea, no idea
what you're talking about.

We know that you work
with John Casey.

Just admit it; this
can all be over.

I don't know anything,
I don't know.

Okay, okay, hold on a second.

I admit it.

I have worked with John Casey.

We worked together
for the last four years now.

We started in large appliances,



and then I worked
up to Buy More manager.

You think this is funny?

Are you really willing
to sacrifice your life

to protect John Casey?

My only regret is that
I have one life to give.

Go ahead, do your worst.

(panting)

Okay.

(chuckles)
That was tough.

Well, you didn't wet yourself
this time.

That's an improvement.

I didn't drink any water today.

Welcome to the team, soldier.

Thank you, sir.

Glad to be part of it.

(sighs)

Whoa.

(cloaked): So where are you
going-- a super secret spy mission?

Don't do that.

I'm just goofing around
with you there, buddy, roomie.

First rule of Team Casey,

right: don't ask, don't tell.

What about Chuck and Sarah?

Especially not Chuck and Sarah.

Sorry.

You really care
about your best friend,

you'll lock it down, Morgan.

(door opens)

(door closes)

Morgan Grimes, you are a badass.

(chuckles)

Oh, no, I peed a little bit.

(beeping) SARAH: 15 seconds.

Ten...

Sarah, stop yelling.

You know I don't work well
under pressure.

Okay?

(buzzing)
Gah, no, no,

no.

Damn wishbone.

Your turn.

I can't do this anymore.

I'm sorry, we've been
sitting around for two weeks.

We need a mission, Chuck.

So we hit a dry spell?

Are you ready
for some real excitement?

Final Fantasy II.

Morgan and I spent an entire
summer devouring this one.

What is the point of being a spy
if there aren't any missions?

Ca...

Casey, what are you doing here?

Did Beckman call?

No, I'm just...
returning something.

A.50-cal sniper rifle?

Why are you checking weapons

out of the armory?

I was just plinking
on the range.

Don't want a beautiful weapon
like this to feel neglected.

Well, what about us?
Do you think

Beckman has secretly
sidelined our team?

Yeah, why else would our
missions dry up like this?

I don't know, maybe
the Intersect has made

the world
a more peaceful place.

Hmm.

What is that about?

Well, you think
we're stir-crazy.

Think about how Casey feels.

I mean, he hasn't shot
someone in two weeks.

That we know of.

Casey is up to something

and I am going to get
to the bottom of it.

Sarah... Sarah.

(beeping)

(door beeps, closes)

This is so weird.

I didn't know
this hallway even existed.

Maybe it's part of all
that new construction

that's been going on.

(beeping)

(scoffs)
Huh.

Well, allow me. It's not like
they're going to deny

the one and only Intersect.
(chuckles)

(beeping)

Okay, so maybe you're not
being completely paranoid.

Come to think of it, I
haven't seen much of Casey

in the last couple weeks.

Do you think he's gone
lone wolf on us?

Yeah, that's it, prowling
around the streets at night,

administering
vigilante justice.

I mean, come...

Actually, that's, that's
entirely plausible.

Chuck, I think it's time
for a spy intervention.

We need to put
our partner on the spot.

No.

I have a better idea.

Hey, Chuck, what's up, man?

Hey, buddy, um, you
mind if I come in?

You know what?
I do mind because,

uh, I just waxed my floors.

Really? Cooked that one
up on the spot, did you?

What's your new spy partner
been up to these days?

Oh, you must be referring
to my domestic partner,

for I am not privy

to Casey's spy life.

Well, have you seen
your new roommate

disappearing at odd times?

No.

Coming home with
fresh injuries?

None that I'm aware of.

Receiving solo missions

from one General Diane Beckman?

Can't say that I have, Chief.

(grunts)

One more little question.

Mm-hmm.

Where have all my missions gone?

Because either all the
bad guys are on vacation

or Casey's up to something.

Or

maybe

the Intersect has just made
the world a more peaceful place.

(chuckles)

(high-pitched chuckle)

Yeah.

(chuckles)

Yeah.

Good seeing you, pal.

I can't believe Morgan would
just lie to my face like that.

I can't believe Casey
would lie to my face...

my old partner.

Wait, didn't Casey say

that Beckman had him working
on something new?

Do you think Beckman is sending
him out on missions without us?

That's crazy talk, Sarah,
why would Beckman do that?

We're Casey's team.

SARAH (whispering):
Wait, he's on the move.

Oh, oh,
are we really doing this

right now... I mean,
spying on our own partner?

Isn't that a little icky?

Well, think about it.

If Casey is going out
on missions without us,

then he is doing so
without the Intersect.

You're right.

What if he gets in a jam?

What if he needs our help?

I mean, we're not spying
on Casey.

We're watching his back.

Duh.

♪ ♪

CHUCK: It sure was nice of Devon
to let us borrow his new Sienna.

I mean, it is the
perfect tail vehicle.

Think about it...
dual screens, Bluetooth,

ten-speaker sound system,

and it's so comfy.

Yeah, it's unassuming.

That's why it's
the perfect tail vehicle.

CHUCK: Of course, yes,
you're right, focus.

Time to find out what kind
of game Casey's playing.

(gun hammers cocking)
Easy.

Your boss is expecting me.

I wasn't expecting you,

I was expecting Dragan,

and I wasn't expecting him
for two days.

Slight change of plans.

Wasn't part of our arrangement.

All right.

My employer will be happy
to do business elsewhere.

Please...

excuse my lack

of hospitality.

CHUCK:
He's all alone.

What's he trying to do...
get himself killed?

Don't you want to open it?

I would trust Dragan
with my life.

You, on the other hand,
John Casey,

NSA agent,

not so much.

What exactly was your plan...

to just walk in here

and arrest me,

all alone?
(chuckles)

(guns cock) SARAH:
He's not alone.

He wouldn't go undercover
without his team.

CHUCK:
Yeah,

honestly,
what do you take him for?

What are you doing here?

Saving your life, partner.

I don't need saving, idiot.

Oh, really, I'm the idiot, huh?

Please, let me settle this.

You are all idiots.

(loud thud)

You're under arrest.

Good work, Colonel.

Wait, so this was all a sting?

CHUCK:
Hang on a second.

Is that Greta...

and the other Greta?

Chuck, Sarah.

Meet my new team.

(tires screeching)

♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪

♪ Na-na na-na
na-na ♪

♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪

♪ Na-na na-na
na-na ♪

♪ Na-na na-na na-na ♪

♪ Na-na na-na
na-na ♪

(whimpers)

Look at those two.

First, they take over the Buy
More, then they steal

our partner, and now they're
taking over our spy base.

I just can't believe
Casey replaced us.

I can't believe
the CIA replaced us.

Come again?

Well, who do you think
is taking all of our missions?

Honey, please, look,
I have something irreplaceable

in this little head
of mine, okay?

So let Casey have his new team.

You've still got
the Intersect, baby.

Let's go introduce
ourselves, shall we?

RICK:
So I said to him,

"You can keep
your larger magazine capacity.

"When it comes
to stopping power,

nothing beats my.45."

That is hilarious.

That hilarious.

.45s.

Great work back there,
by the way,

with the, with the guns

and the bad guys
and the... b-b-boo!

Took 'em all out.

That was impressive.
I'm sorry,

but I never got
your actual names,

and I really don't want
to keep calling you Greta.

I'm assuming GRETA's probably
an acronym for...

Captain Richard Noble.

Captain Victoria Dunwoody.

BOTH:
Captain.

CHUCK: Captain.
BOTH: Agent.

Rick and Vicki.

It's rhymey.
It's cute.

You guys a couple or something?

Don't be ridiculous.
It's against agency protocol.

Romantic entanglements lead
to lapses in judgment.

You ought to know.

CASEY:
Agent Walker?

(clears throat)

A word, please.

So, what kind of music
are you guys into?

I see you're very busy.

I see you picked your new team

for their sparkling
personalities.

I'm sorry you had
to find out this way.

Oh, forget it. It's not like

I've been your partner
for the last four years.

Please let me explain.

No, it's cool.
You know, I get it.

You've been busy, Beckman
gave you a new team,

you've been out running
missions with them.

This wasn't Beckman's idea.

(whirring)

Colonel Casey,

grab your team.

Mission briefing in five.

That is, if you're all through
fraternizing with your old team.

So, who is, uh, Susie Sunshine?

Director Bentley.

She's our Beckman...

except not as warm and cuddly.

Well, babe,
I guess it's just you and me.

Where are you going?

To fix this.

Oh, boy.

General, why didn't you tell
us that Casey was heading up

his own team?

Agent Walker, you're not the
only one who has to take orders.

I'm playing the cards
I was dealt.

I suggest you do the same.

Quick follow-up question,
General?

Who's the A-team,
and who's the B-team here?

I know that you love our team
and Casey's team equally...

Enough. Both of you.

Right now you need
to focus on the mission at hand.

Which is?

A top-priority extraction
from Tblisi.

You'll recognize the target

of the Colonel's
recent sting operation,

Necati Acar, AKA The Turk.

Although his arrest
was important,

the real prize

is this man... Dragan Pichushkin.

Arms dealer.

He's made a fortune dismantling
the former Soviet arsenal,

and selling it
on the black market.

The Turk has agreed

to lure Dragan onto U.S. soil

under one condition.

That we offer his family asylum?

Precisely, Agent Walker.

All we have
is a first name... Jana.

Wife?

Jana?

Jana. Mistress.

Think it's probably
a mistress. No photos?

That's why we're sending you.

Wheels up first thing
in the morning.

Use the Intersect to ID Jana,

and return her safely
to U.S. soil.

That is all... team.

I think she meant
to say "A-team."

I can't believe we're
finally going on a mission!

(snapping his fingers)

Hey.

Devon, you okay?

Just trying to find
my baseline, bro.

Oh, stressful day at the ER?

Trauma surgery's a cinch.

It's coming home
that's stressful.

Being home with the baby has
made Ellie a little stir crazy.

Must be going around. When
I walk through that door,

she makes up for 12 hours of
not talking to another adult

in about 12 minutes.

Wish me luck.

Good luck.

ELLIE: Hi, honey.
How was work?

I'm so glad you're home.
I've been dying to talk.

Remember how I've been trying

to keep track
of Clara's sleep schedule?

Well, I finally crunched
some numbers.

At first I couldn't
find the Circadian cycle,

but then, I applied
some basic biostatistics.

Voila. Isn't that incredible?
Oh, wait till you see

the data that I gathered
during tummy time.

And here is a chart
of Clara's new vocal sounds.

Trust me, you can
go a little loony

with somebody babbling
in your ear all day long.

(both laugh)

The problem is,
I only have one test subject,

so in order
to control my experiment,

we're going to have
to have a second baby.

(spitting)

Joking.

Speaking of computer modeling,

whatever happened
to my dad's laptop?

Devon?

Devon, are you listening to me?

Huh? Yeah. Computers.

Brain science.
Totally with you.

Good, because
I'm starting to think

that my dad left me
that computer for a reason.

Maybe his research is just the
diversion that I need right now.

Devon, I want
that computer back.

SARAH: I wonder what
Casey's team is up to.

CHUCK:
Who cares? Beckman said it

herself... this extraction
is top priority.

(phone ringing)

It's the bro-in-law.

Hey, Devon.
What's going on, buddy?

Chuck, we need to talk.

Why are you whispering?

'Cause Clara's sleeping.

And I don't want Ellie to hear.

Can this wait till I'm home?
CAPTAIN: Chuck,

Ellie wants your dad's laptop.

She thinks he gave it
to her for a reason.

No. Devon, listen to me,
and listen to me very carefully.

She cannot have the laptop.

The laptop is filled with all
kinds of dangerous spy stuff,

which is probably why

it's buried
deep beneath Langley right now.

That's great, but she gave
the computer to me.

What am I supposed to tell her?

I don't know. Tell her
you lost it. Better yet...

Better yet, tell her
you brought it to the Buy More

to get it fixed.

She'll assume
Jeff and Lester lost it.

Good cover story, bro.

Hey, that's why
you called a pro, huh?

Wait.

I'm seeing a... square?

Close. Squiggly lines.

Excuse me?

Damn it, lady!

Can't you see that you're
ruining his concentration?

Listen, I'm just here
to get my computer,

and then you two can go back
to your little game.

Game? I will have you know,
Eleanor,

that our friend Jeffrey here
is a clairvoyant.

Read her thoughts, Jeffrey.

She hates us.

She thinks we're pathetic.

She doesn't believe in ESP.

That's really good.

Can I have my computer?

Fine. Where's your claim stub?

I don't know.
Devon dropped it off.

No claim stub,
no computer. Mush!

Okay, uh, you guys just...

You don't understand.
There's-There's something

really important
on that laptop.

Something... private.

Go on.

Devon and I... we made a video

when we were in med school.

Um, I'd just hate for it
to fall into the wrong hands.

Jeffrey, clear our schedule.

Ma'am, we're gonna find

that laptop
if it's the last thing we do.

(laughs)

Ugh.

Looks like Jana's
running a little late.

Or else The Turk's enemies
got to her before we did.

(tires squealing)

Looks like this landing zone
is about to get a little hot.

That's why Beckman sent us.

Do any of those guys look
like a Jana to you?

You wanted Jana?
I'm getting her.

These charmers stuffed
her in the trunk.

I don't like this, Sarah.

Oh, my God, they chopped her up
into little pieces.

(barking)

What?

Sarah, meet Jana.

(growling)

This was our big extraction?

A stupid dog?!

Sometimes boss's dog
gets upset tummy.

Try mixing in a cup of her
dry food with the wet stuff.

(whining) And be sure to
walk her every hour, or...

that happens.

Oh!

Oh, gross.

Oh, my God, Sarah.

We're the B-team.

(Jana whines)

We used to be
the A-team, Sarah,

the sharp end of the CIA stick.

And now we're glorified
pet couriers?

Nothing has changed,
Chuck. Oh, is that right?

Well, okay, what do you call
Casey's new team then?

I call them the competition.

You want to be on
the A-team again,

we're gonna have to earn it.

What? How?

Dragan. Beckman said
he's the brass ring.

We're gonna collar him,

and we're gonna show the
General that we've still got it.

Except that the only person
who can lead us to Dragan is

The Turk, and who knows
where they're keeping him.

(barking)

Is that...?

Jana?

(barking)

I bet she's got an upset tummy.

Do you think they remembered
to mix in the dry food?

Chuck, if The Turk's dog

is behind that door,
so is The Turk.

All we got to do is get through
four inches of solid steel.

Or we chop off Casey's hand.

Let's keep that as our
backup plan, shall we?

Sure.

Okay.

(knocking)

Morgan, I can hear you
eating potato chips.

All right? Open the door.

Can't do that, Chuck.
This is ridiculous.

Why can't we talk face-to-face?

Just trust me, okay?
It's for your own good.

Oh, is that right?

Or is that what Casey told you
to tell me?

Hey, hey,
the Colonel's a good man,

and he gave me my orders, okay?

To lock it down.

Let me in!

Over my dead body, Chuck.

How about
over your tranq'd body?

You were distracting me
so she could break in.

CHUCK:
Yeah.

Clever girl.

Are you using
the five-milligram darts?

Ten.

Please tell Casey
I put up a good fight.

(shooting)

Great. Now all we need

is something with Casey's
handprint on it so we can

access the secret
part of Castle.

Ooh. What are these?

These have a camera
inside of them

that'll scan for any bioresidue.

Ugh! Sounds like a CBS show.

I found one, but

this handprint is way too tiny.

Looks like it belongs
to a child.

Oh, right.

Bingo.

Sarah.

(whirring, trilling)

(whooshing)

Not bad for the B-team.

Holy crap! Their Castle is

so much cooler than ours.

I wonder if they have that

fancy Greek yogurt
in their kitchen.

(barking)

Okay, you go find The Turk.

I'm gonna see if I can pull up
Dragan's case file.

(barking continues)

(barking)

Please, I told you
everything I know

about Dragan's shipments. No, no, no,
no, relax. I'm not part of their team.

They are like a pair
of evil robots.

Wait. They told me about you.

You're the dog-walker, no?

I'm happy you're here.

Jana was beginning
to walk funny.

She needs to have, uh,
how you say, a pee-pee time.

Chuck.

Chuck, I think you
should look at this.

Hey.

What's up?
What do you want me...?

My dad's computer.

Why would they...?

Oh, my God, Casey, please
tell me you didn't.

(alarm blaring) I think it's
time for us to go, right now.

You're not authorized to be
in this section of Castle.

What are you two doing
with my father's computer?

Sorry, Bartowski, the Intersect
project is classified.

Classifi... Classified?!

I'm not authorized
to be down here?

I am the Intersect.

You're not as special
as you think.

I think you should get out
of here, before you get hurt.

I see you know kung fu.

That's very impressive,

but a little showy
for my taste.

How about this style, Bartowski?

Oh, for heaven's sake.

Chuck, what is happening?

We're following
the same program.

Sarah, they're Intersects.

CASEY:
Stand down, Captain.

So this was your idea,
Casey, huh?

Use my father's program
to make your own Intersects?

Well, now that you have your dream
team, I guess you don't need me

around anymore.
But that right there...

that's mine and I'm taking it.

You don't want to
do that, Bartowski.

Yeah? Well, my father
never wanted his invention

to be used like this. Drop it.

That computer is property
of the U.S. government.

Call off your dogs, Casey.

Captain, put the gun down. Now.

First you put the computer
down, Bartowski.

Or I'll put a bullet in that
obsolete brain of yours.

BENTLEY:
That's enough.

I'd do as she says,
Mr. Bartowski.

Unlike you,

my Intersects aren't
afraid to pull the trigger.

Now do you understand why
I had Beckman send you to Tblisi?

Yeah, you wanted us
out of the way.

The CIA's two Intersect teams

were never supposed
to, well, intersect.

It was important that
you not interfere

with the GRETA field tests.

Right. The GRETA's
in the Buy More.

We've been using your store
as a proving ground

for prospective
Intersect candidates.

These two are the best
of the best.

Oh, really? Uh, so then what
does that make me?

None of this would be possible
without you, Chuck.

BENTLEY: That's right. We've
been studying you, as well.

Correcting your father's
software

for your various limitations.

What limitations?

His emotional sensitivity.

His over-reliance
on his handlers.

His inability
to terminate targets.

You clearly fixed that glitch.
Vicki here almost shot Chuck.

If you'll excuse us,
we have a mission to complete.

Dragan Pichushkin,
our primary target,

is currently en route

to an airfield outside
of Los Angeles.

Our analysts at Langley believe that
he is on this aircraft, which was...

RICK: ...hijacked by
drug runners in 2006.

The plane is now registered
to a Moscow shell corporation.

Yeah, what they said.

Very good.

Colonel, your team will
intercept Pichushkin,

confiscate all cargo and
return him alive. Ma'am.

Dismissed.

Oh, and you two are free
to return home

and await further orders.

Unbelievable.

Walker, Walker, let me explain.

Don't, Casey.
Okay, I get why you left.

Because if you'd stayed
with Chuck and I

you would have been
mothballed, as well.

I didn't jump ship. Yeah, well, you didn't
exactly go down with the ship, did you?

I left because you and
Bartowski don't need me anymore.

What? Don't pretend like you
don't know what I'm talking about.

We were a team, Casey.

No, no, you and Bartowski
were the team.

I was just the backup.
That is not true.

Doesn't matter anyway.

I just want you to know,
I think Bentley's

giving you the short
end of the stick.

You and Bartowski...
you're still good agents.

Yeah, well, we used
to be the best.

ELLIE:
I'm calling about the laptop.

Did you find it?

Well, there is a chance

that we returned the laptop
to the wrong person.

Gee, what a surprise.

Don't worry. I've got
my best man on it.

I need you to focus
your powers, Jeffrey.

I need a name.

I need you to tell me

who has that missing computer.

So...

You...

are going to close your eyes

and you're going to jot down
whatever letters pop into your head.

Go.

No, that's not a letter.

Deeper.

Jeffrey. Dig! Dig!

What just happened?

Did I do it?

"Cia"?

What the hell kind
of name is Cia?

Totally worthless, Jeffrey.

Take a look at this.

12 hours ago...

target leaving for the States.

BENTLEY: I'm confident that your
new team can handle a few bodyguards.

Not them, that.

He's not moving parts.

Pichushkin's moving
a fully-assembled bomb.

We can assume he's
going to use it.

Director, we need backup.

You have two GRETA's.
What else do you need?

My old team, Chuck and Sarah.

It's a five-man job.

You sure you're not just
being sentimental?

Pichushkin's delivering live
explosives to a metropolitan center.

Thanks to the Intersect, we're
equipped with live ordnance disposal.

No, the colonel is right.

This is a perfect job
for Chuck Bartowski.

Bomb disposal?

I mean, seriously?

Don't they have robots
for stuff like this?

It's the only way Bentley would
let you come on the mission.

I guess expendability has its perks.
CASEY: Okay, team,

target lands in inside ten.

You two, help me neutralize
Dragan's security team,

and take him
into custody. Alive.

You're a vital part of this
mission, Chuck. Don't forget it.

And try not to drop
the bomb, Chuck.

Once we have the bomb, ***

Use the Intersect to defuse it.

I know you're
a little scared, Chuck,

but the suit will protect you.

I saw The Hurt Locker,
Casey, okay?

I know what happened
to Guy Pearce.

His suit didn't really do him

a lot of good.

I'm sorry. I'm being
overly sensitive, aren't I?

I bet your new Intersects,

wow, they wouldn't
complain, would they?

I had to wear one of these
in Bosnia.

One of my worst missions.

Here, let me show you
a little trick.

This way, you don't have
to use your hands to drink.

Thanks, buddy.

Good luck, Chuck.

It's your favorite...
apple juice.

♪ ♪

(rifles cocking)

Oh, oh, Sarah, they
are outnumbered and outgunned.

Those guards are carrying
automatic weapons.

Oh! Holy crap!
Those two are like Terminators.

They just took out five guys
in the blink of an eye.

Welcome to America,
Mr. Pichushkin.

Let me take your luggage.

It's yours.

(electronic whirring)

Portable fission device.
Five-kiloton yield.

Approximate fire ball radius...
two kilometers.

That's a suitcase nuke.

It's a... I'm sorry.

Did Casey just say...?

DRAGAN:
So you have your bomb.

(pistols cocking)

But I have detonator.

So I think it's better

if we just part ways, Da?

Casey, let him go.

SARAH: I've got my eyes on Dragan.

Sar...

Help Walker.

You stay with the bomb.

You need to disarm this now.

This bomb is a Frankenstein with
a hundred different components.

There's nothing in the Intersect

about how to defuse this.

I can help with this!
CHUCK: Casey? Hold on.

I'm coming, Casey! I'm coming!

I'm coming. I'm coming.

Show me your hands!

Where's the detonator?

(beeping)

I am detonator.

Very simple.

My heart stop, bomb start.

So you have choice:
you can shoot me,

and hundreds of
thousands of people

will die in nuclear blast.

Or I kill you.

Not easy choice.

Vicki, no, don't shoot!

(rapid beeping)

What did you do?!

(steady tone)

(device whirring)

What the hell just happened?

Your trigger-happy new partner
just armed the bomb.

(panting)

Ooh! Portable fission device,
five-kiloton yield.

Yeah, we covered that.
Sir, our best chance is to fly

as far away from civilization
as possible.

What?! We're in
the middle of LA County!

It's a difference between
100,000 casualties

and a million.
We gotta move this bomb now.

No, no. Casey, no,
that's not an option.

We have to disarm it.

You've got the same
computer I've got.

It can't be disarmed.

I can do this, Casey.

Bomb's all yours, Bartowski.

You can't be ser...
Move.

Okay.

Just like old times, huh?

Just tell me there's a plan.
There's a plan, right?

Yeah, yeah, there's a plan.

Okay, Casey, first of all,

I need you to pull out
the primary device.

Slowly, carefully.

We're gonna have to improvise
our way through this one.

Improvi...?!
It's a nuclear bomb.

Stow it, Captain.

Okay, now, Sarah,
that hockey puck-looking

thing on the end there?
That's the detonator.

I need you to twist

and pull... gently.

(gasps)

Okay, the detonator is from

a next-gen Chinese sub,

which means the firing mechanism
had to have been modified

to allow the warhead's
deployment in saltwater.

Saltwater!

Saltwater! Yes!
These detonators,

they automatically deactivate in
saltwater

in the event of a hull breach.

We're nowhere near the ocean.

Ooh...

Saltwater, saltwater,
saltwater...

Mmm, what has...?

What is he doing?

Casey... my juice box.

Please have sodium, please have
sodium, please have sodium.

Yeah, it does! Yes, yes, yes.

Chuck, are you about to disarm a
nuclear bomb using fruit juice?

Okay, do it.

(crackles)

(whirring)

BOTH: I can't believe
that worked.

(all sigh)

(Chuck grunts)

Love you.

I love you, too.

(both chuckle)

Try not to drop the bomb, Rick.

Whoa!

Looks like things have
gotten a little crowded in castle.

As I told you before,
this operation

requires only one team.

I concur. I've read Colonel
Casey's report.

In addition to threatening Agent
Bartowski's life,

your team managed to kill
the man

you were supposed to capture

and accidentally arm
a nuclear bomb.

General, I take full
responsibility for my team.

The truth is, Director Bentley,

you should never have pursued
the Intersect field trial

without consulting
the original Intersect.

Agent Bartowski, that is why
you will oversee

all aspects of the Intersect
project from here on out.

And what about my GRETAs?

(loud whooshing and whirring)

COMPUTER: Intersect extraction complete.

(sighs)

So, how's it feel?

What a relief to have
that outta my head.

That poor bastard Bartowski.

Looks like that's it
for the team.

Honor serving with you, sir.

Captain, Captain, good luck.

(sighs)

BENTLEY:
Where do you think you're going?

I figured I was through here,

since I don't have a team.

I never dismissed you, Colonel.

Beckman's wrong.

The problem's not
with my GRETAs...

it's this computer.

And you're going
to help me fix it.

Our best engineers couldn't
crack Intersect code.

That's because it wasn't meant
for them.

I need someone who thinks
like a Bartowski.

What are you getting at?

(blows air)

Prepare yourself
for Final Fantasy deux.

(phone beeps)

Oh, please let that be Beckman.

Oh, come on.

A new mission already?

Beckman wants us to leave ASAP.

She's gonna brief us
in the air.

What? Aren't you curious
as to where we're going?

Well, I'm sure it's someplace
far-off, exciting and dangerous.

And what makes you so sure?

Chuck, we're the A-team.

Valid point.

Well, might as well bring this.

It's gonna be a long flight.

I'm sure we can find something
else to pass the time.

♪ ♪

Oh. Mmm.

Not to be crude, but you were
talking about sex, right?

Okay, Devon, "go" time.

Babe, you okay?

It's nothing. I went to the Buy
More to get my dad's laptop,

and of course,
they couldn't find it.

It's my fault.

I should have never trusted
those jackasses.

No, it's my fault.

I shouldn't have pretended
to be something that I'm not.

I guess I just thought
that there might be something

on my dad's computer
that would...

I don't know, change the fact

that I'm just
a stay-at-home mom.

Whoa, whoa, stop right there.

You're Eleanor Bartowski
Woodcomb, PhD, M.D.,

the brainiest, sexiest,

kick-assiest woman
I have ever known.

You're not "just" anything.

Really?

You're Mrs. Awesome.

(murmurs)

(Morgan groans)

What happened to you?

I've been in a drug-induced
stupor for the last 24 hours.

What'd I tell you about letting
Jeff buy you

drinks at Chili's?

No, sir, listen,
Chuck and Sarah tranq'd me.

They breached our apartment.

I blew it, and I'm
so sorry, sir.

So, I'm turning in my wings.

One, you're not an aviator,

two, these wings are plastic.

Yeah, I told the Southwest pilot
they were for my nephew.

Look, that's not the point.

The fact remains,
I let you down, sir.

And I'm sorry,

I can't lie to Chuck anymore.

You don't have to.

From here on out,
we're on the same team.

Oh, yes! What a relief!

(groans) Gotcha.
Okay...

All right, that's enough.

Can I have my wings back?

Mrs. Woodcomb?

Yes?

Hi. I believe that I have

something of yours.

This is my dad's computer.
Where did you find this?

The Nerd Herd gave me
the wrong computer.

I found your address
in the bag.

Thank you. You have no idea
how much this means to me.

Hi. You're home early.

Babe, it's dinnertime.

What?

Oh, wow, Clara's taking
a monster nap.

I must have lost myself.

Is that...?

Yeah. Great news.

I found my dad's computer.