Chuck (2007–2012): Season 3, Episode 11 - Chuck Versus the Final Exam - full transcript

[GUNSHOT]

[PERRY GRUNTS]

[PERRY YELLS]

Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it.

Don't you see?
This is what they want.

- I gave you a chance.
- Please. I had no choice.

[GUNSHOT]

[GUN COCKS]

Don't!

WOMAN:
Oh!

[SHRIEKING]



Stop it. Stop. Please. Please.

Jeffrey.

There's so much more
that I wanna do.

To feel.

Ah! You're loathsome.

[LESTER GRUNTING]

Just about enough
of you two morons.

You knocked over a customer. You.

Fat, drunk and stupid.

Together you constitute
a clear and present danger...

...who needs to be neutralized.

You know, John,
I know you like to play make-believe...

...that you're
some military tough guy...

...but the truth
is that you're just a schmuck...



...that works in an electronics store.

With us.

I guess you didn't hear that Big Mike
sent Morgan to El Segundo...

...for a management seminar
for three days...

...leaving me in charge
as assistant manager.

What a special moment for you.
I assume you've been made aware...

...of the "No Touching" policy
here at the store.

Granted, it's mostly for Jeff,
but it holds company-wide, friend.

Don't you see?
Johnny, you can't harm us...

...thanks to the rules
of the very corporate system...

...that you so admire.

Ha! The irony.

[CHUCKLES]

- I love irony.
LESTER: Well.

[BOTH GRUNT]

Casey, what did you just do?

What are you doing here?
You clocked out.

I did, but I thought
I'd take a second...

...to see how you were adjusting.
Apparently, not great.

- Baby steps.
- More like baby kicks to the groin.

We gotta get you reinstated.

Without a license to kill, you are
a menace to society. Listen. Listen.

I'm gonna talk to Beckman. If she
doesn't give your job back, I'm quitting.

- Ridiculous.
- That's not ridiculous.

I'm gonna ask Sarah to do the same.

If she calls me back.
You know she went to D.C. with Shaw?

- Talk about a weekend in Snoresville.
- Listen up, Chuck.

I disobeyed orders. I put my team
and my country in danger.

This is my job now.
I made my bunk and I'll lie in it.

Unlike you,
I know when something's over.

MIKE [OVER PA]:
John Casey, my office. Now.

Look, you were put in an impossible
position, okay? You had no choice.

It's America, Chuck.
Everyone has a choice.

MIKE:
Casey!

MIKE:
You have to choose, John.

Do you see yourself working
at Buy More for the long haul?

I don't have a better plan.

You've got to stop coming in
so damn hot.

Can't be laying hands on people.
Not even Jeff and Lester.

LESTER: He's not a man.
- He's an animal.

Like Jeff, but undulled by drink or drug.
Dangerous because of it.

We demand justice.
Or at least a humiliating apology.

- Or we're gonna sue.
LESTER: Mm.

Who are we gonna sue again?

Everybody.
The store, Mr. John Q. Crazy.

Chuck and Morgan. You see...

...being the accused in a number
of civil and criminal proceedings...

...has left us extremely litigious.

[LESTER YELPS]

No, no, no. Good.

Good. That's it.

You are hearing from my attorney,
who, by the by, is my cousin.

Who, by the by,
likes me very, very much.

- What?
- This is serious.

Those boys aren't fooling about this.
Now, I like you.

And I know you're physically strong,
but what I need to know...

...is are you mentally strong?

Strong enough to bend like the reed
and not snap like the Kit Kat.

To be John Casey, not John Crazy.

Conking people.
Walking around conking heads.

You can't be conking heads
in Buy More. It's Buy More.

[KEYBOARD CLACKING]

[CHUCK CLEARS THROAT]

- Hey, Sarah.
- Hi.

Hi.

How was D.C.?
I'm assuming you guys had a lot of fun.

Although I can't really picture
what Shaw does for fun.

Uh, I'm sorry I didn't you call back...

...but it was a work trip
and we were in a lot of meetings.

Talking about you, actually.
About your future.

My future? No, no, no. It's Casey's
future we need to be concerned with.

We gotta get him reinstated.

I'd like nothing more
than to get him reinstated.

SHAW: Casey's status
is none of your concern.

There is business to attend to, however,
which very much concerns you.

You left your bag in the car
on the way back from the airport.

SARAH: Oh.
- So thoughtful.

Good morning, team.

Have you told him anything yet?

- Told me what?
BECKMAN: It has been decided...

...you are ready for a mission
that will test...

...everything you have learned thus far.
A final spy test, if you will.

Oh. A test? Yeah. No problem.

I'm a whiz with a number two pencil.
Scantron.

If you fail to complete the mission
then you'll go back to your old life.

BECKMAN:
But if you succeed, you will be promoted.

No more Buy More, no more handlers.
Just real missions for a real spy.

You will be based out of Rome.

Your cover will be that
of a billionaire industrialist.

Serious? Seriously?

[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]

I love it! Fantastic!
We're gonna have to brush up...

...on our Italiano, you know?

No, Chuck. Just you.

Agents Walker and Shaw
will be based in D.C...

...and continue to head
counter-Ring operations.

- You will deploy before them.
- D.C.?

Ahem. D.C.

Not... Not Rome.

You will get
your mission specifics tomorrow.

Your spy test will start then.

Good luck.

SHAW: You can do this, Chuck.
You can pass this test.

It's everything
you've been working toward.

Me, a real spy.

In Rome, no less.

Congratulations, Chuck.

It looks like you're gonna get everything
that you always wanted.

- Morning, Chuck.
- Aah! Good... What...?

Hi. How long have you been here?

Or are you really here? I...

I could be asleep right now.
I very well could be asleep right now.

I have some of the most
vivid dreams sometimes...

Chuck, you're awake. Please sit down.
Your mission has started.

This is how a real agent gets missions
in the field.

You surprising them in the kitchen?
That must involve travel.

Focus. From here on in,
my role is to observe and report.

More of a proctor than a partner.

What's this thing?

Ah!

What are you doing?
You writing something?

Are you writing about me? Grading?

Think of it more like recording
the experience for history.

Sure.

Good morning, Chuck.
Your mission centers around this man.

Anatoli Zevlovski,
a Russian FSB agent.

He is in Los Angeles to meet
with a person we believe works for us.

- Who? Who us, general?
- It's a recording, Chuck.

- What's that?
- A mole within the CIA...

...has been selling secrets to Anatoli
who then sells them to The Ring.

This mole is responsible
for the deaths...

...of hundreds of civilians
and nine of our agents.

We have intel that Anatoli
is meeting with him, or her...

...at the Cobalt Hotel and Spa tonight.

Your mission is to ascertain
the identity of the mole.

You will stake out the hotel's entrance
and let Anatoli lead you to the mole.

Wait. That's all I need to know?
How can that be all?

Is there a rewind on this thing?
What's the deal? Come on.

[DEVICE BEEPS]

Wow. That really self-destructed, did it not?
That's like in the movies. Incredible.

Well, I got it, anyway.
Take out Anatoli and find the mole.

Done and done.

Still with the writing. What is this?

The CIA's permanent record?
This is like junior high.

Pretty much.

Really? So you're saying
that's got all the greatest hits in it, huh?

All the daring escapes
and last-second bomb defusions...

...and I would hope,
all of the world-class stakeout mixes.

[IMITATES RECORD SCRATCHING]

Yeah. Everything is in here.

We've definitely been through a lot.

I mean, not just us. Casey, as well.

Yeah. Casey, as well. Right.

Hey, speaking of stakeouts...

...you're gonna be
at the stakeout tonight?

Right. Shaw will quarterback
from the Castle.

But... So this is, like,
our last mission together?

Seems like
we should do something special.

Special will be you
completing your mission...

...and becoming a spy, Chuck.

Of course. Of course.

I'm just saying, last mission.

Kind of makes you think.

Old times.

Good times.

Dangerous but good.

Yeah, it does.

I'll see you tonight.

See you tonight.

MAN:
Chin up, please.

- This is Clarence, my tailor.
CASEY: Hi.

What's this about?

MIKE: Well, this is about...
CLARENCE: Mm.

You looking good, Mike.

- You losing weight?
- Thank you, Clarence. I have.

I ask again. Why am I here?

You're here
because I wanna help you...

...try to smooth out
some of those jagged edges.

- With a little help from Clarence here.
CLARENCE: Mm-hm.

Jagged's good. I like jagged.

You also like to be
an employed person too?

One without a lawsuit
slapped on him?

Now, I've talked to Jeff and Lester,
told them that I could get you to change.

And that change starts right now.

Get on the box.

You don't seriously think
new clothes...

...are gonna somehow
make me less me, do you?

Look. What I do know
is that to get your head right...

...you gotta get your threads right.

Now get on the box and let Clarence
put some new feathers on you.

[GRUMBLES]

SARAH:
Hey, Chuck.

Everything looks good. It doesn't seem
like you've missed a trick.

Yeah. Thanks.
There is one more thing, though.

Ta-da! Heh, heh.

No one throws a stakeout
like Chuck Bartowski.

You can put that in my secret file.

A little bubbly for you.

And a little bubbly for me.

So tell me, do the words
sizzling shrimp ring a bell?

From our very first stakeout.

- That's right.
- How could I forget?

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

I see you, you see me.

Also from our first stakeout.

And yet, timeless.

You're gonna miss me in D.C.
You know that, right?

I know.

CHUCK:
So, um....

So you and Shaw,
are you gonna be living together?

Is that it?
Like, are you guys real serious, or what?

Uh, I don't know. It's... It's different.

- Different how?
- Than with you.

You know, I'm... I'm...

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

It's Shaw.

- Yeah, hello?
- Is there a problem?

CHUCK:
No. No. There's no problem here.

Why? Can I talk to you
after the mission?

You should have your earpiece
in already. Is Sarah there?

Yes. She just got here.
What a coincidence.

Thanks for the reminder
about the earpieces.

Anatoli and the mole
could arrive any minute.

Stay on the ball.

- It's all you out there.
- Okay. Talk to you soon. Bye.

What I was gonna ask you
a minute ago...

...or what I was about to say,
anyway...

...was that I've been...

I'm thinking about
what it used to be like between us.

Before Prague.

And thinking about
what life would be like for us...

...if we'd made different decisions
back then.

If I'd made a different decision
back then.

We couldn't be together before
because I wasn't a spy...

...but if I pass
we wouldn't have to choose...

...between the job and us.

If I pass this test,
we could be together.

That is, of course,
if you're willing to give it another shot.

SHAW:
Did you see him? Did you flash?

CHUCK:
No, I... No, I didn't. Should I have?

Anatoli's in the hotel.
He swiped a card he uses at the spa.

- How did you miss him?
- I don't know.

- I'm going after him.
- What? Sarah, give him the glasses.

Wait. Here. Put these on.
Record everything and relay it back.

SHAW: Okay, Sarah, get back to Castle.
You're on your own, Chuck.

Now get in there before the mission
and your spy career are over.

This isn't over.

HOST:
Sir.

Can I help you? Do you have
an appointment for a treatment?

No. No. Not an appointment per se.

I made plans with a friend of mine,
a Russian fellow, to meet here.

We really enjoy spaing together, so....

Yes, I think he and his party
just checked in.

The day use fee is $100.

- Not including treatments.
- Hundred dollars? Heh, heh.

Let me just....

- I can expense this, right?
- Pay it, Chuck.

Right.

I just gotta break out the old plastic.

Just checked the locker room.
Nobody's here.

Check the steam room.

What? Uh... Uh...
Excuse me, inside a steam room?

- Is that really hygienic?
- You can tell me when you come out.

Wow, it's really steamy in here.

Sit tight.
The steam will clear up in a minute.

- What happened?
- It wasn't his fault.

You've been in the field.
Operations don't always go as planned.

CHUCK:
Oh, well. Hi, there.

Looks like I'm not alone after all.
Nope.

Just three other people in here
with me. How fun.

It's just Anatoli and his muscle. He must
not have made contact with the mole.

Stay with him.

- Mr. Drago? Mr. Ivan Drago?
- Yes?

Ivan Drago? Seriously?

He's paranoid.
Believes we're being followed.

Wants to meet upstairs in the room.
Let's go.

Hey. Why so quick to pick up trash
on floor?

SHAW:
Chuck, get out of there.

Just doing my part, keeping it green.

[SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]

[CHUCK YELLS]
[THUG GRUNTS]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[CHUCK PANTING]

SHAW: You have to get to the mole
before he leaves. Get moving.

HOST: Locker's to your left, sir.
- Thanks.

[ELEVATOR DINGS]

Anatoli's on the seventh floor.
He's meeting the mole.

Nice work, Chuck.
Priority is ID'ing the mole.

But do not blow your cover.

- He can't know we're on to him.
- Got it.

Ahh. Good shower time.
I think I got my watch wet...

...so I'm gonna dry it off.

Sorry, I forgot to put
the "Privacy Please" sign up.

- Oh, my God.
- Come on, Chuck, you can do this.

CHUCK:
This would have been easier in underpants.

ANATOLI: Well done. You are about
to become an even richer man.

We should begin
the process of retrieval.

MAN:
Change of plans, Anatoli.

[CHUCK GRUNTING]

I'm dealing directly with The Ring now.
Your services are no longer needed.

[ANATOLI GROANS]

Oh, God. Oh, God.
The mole just killed Anatoli.

Forget Anatoli. The mole's leaving.
You gotta get a look at his face.

[IMITATES BIRD CAWING]

SHAW:
We've got it, Chuck.

Congratulations.

[CHUCKLES]

Ahh.

I am a spy.

Oh, no.

I am a naked spy.

- Looking good, John.
- I'm feeling pretty good.

That Clarence can work wonders.

- Are we here for a light lunch?
- Yes and no.

I got Jeff and Lester to agree
to a deal.

If you can sit down with them
and apologize...

...if you show
John Crazy's been put on ice...

...they'll drop this lawsuit thing.
So the question is:

You look cool, can you be cool?

Lester, Jeff...

...I would like to apologize
for roughing you guys up earlier.

- It's just I...
LESTER: Sorry, Jonathan...

...but sweet, sweet,
sweet Lisa here...

...would like some payment
for these sandwiches.

- But I didn't order them.
- No. I did.

MIKE:
Oh, my God. Is that tuna and pepperoni?

JEFF:
Yes, it is. The tuna-roni. It's superb.

You see, Johnny boy,
I need to know that you understand...

...that apologies
are about more than just words.

Often, they're about money.
And in this case, yours.

Keep the change, sister.

Lester, you're pushing it.
The man apologized. Now let it go.

What assurances do I have
that such civilized behavior...

...is gonna continue when we
and this monster are alone together?

[JEFF BURPS]

- Oh, God.
- It's good.

- Yummy.
- Lester, I promise...

...I won't bang you around anymore.

Okay, Lester. So everything's cool.

- No more lawsuit.
- Yeah, we're cool.

If we seal our newfound understanding
in that time-tested way.

By breaking freshly-baked
bread together. Right?

I think that's... Jefferson?

Mind you,
there's literally no way of knowing...

...where this guy's mouth has been.

Fire hydrants. Diseased animals.
Puppets.

Very civilized.

Oh, no. Oh, John.

Hey there, colleague.

Peer. Heh, heh.

Tell me, when I should expect to receive
my international spy union card, huh?

You did a great job last night.
Congratulations.

Thank you. I appreciate that.

So tell me, and this is
just between the two of us...

...just for the sake of conversation,
but as far as these tests go...

...do other people do as well as I did?
Or did I do, like, historically well?

Listen, Chuck, I was hoping that
you would be free for dinner tonight.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, of course.

In fact, I was actually gonna ask you
if you were free.

So how about Traxx?
It's a restaurant down at Union Station.

Uhh, yeah. Yeah. That sounds great.

Nothing wets the whistle
like the sound of a nice long horn.

Forget it. I'm very excited.

- Well, don't be too excited.
- Let me finish.

By excited, I mean...

[WHISPERING]
...cold as ice...

...because, you know,
now I am a real spy.

[HONKS]

MIKE:
You made me proud.

You were right. Feels good
not to be so wound up all the time.

What'd I tell you? Subway can soothe
the tummy and the soul.

Did somebody say something about
soothed tummies and souls?

I did, and I'm happy to say...

...we've got ourselves
a changed man, Chuck.

Well, I guess that makes
two changed men.

- What? You?
- Yeah.

Buddy, I just passed
my first solo spy test last night.

I'm going to the show.

I really wanted to tell you beforehand,
but top secret, you understand.

You took your test last night?

- And you passed?
- Oh, yeah.

With flying colors, man.

And I think we both know
I have you to thank for that.

So I wanted to give you
a little something.

Yeah.

I don't think they're gonna miss it
down in Castle, do you?

You know that giving a government-issued
firearm is a felony, don't you?

But it was a thoughtful felony.

Honestly, everything is coming up roses
right now. I passed my test.

You are joining the world
of human beings, so proud of you.

Kudos for that. And Sarah
has invited me to dinner tonight.

Alone, at Union Station, so....

Hey, you sure
you've completed your test?

Yeah. Yeah, like I said, I passed.

Celebration time now.

Hmm.
Okay, you just be careful out there.

Ready for anything.

A good spy always is, right?

- You told him to meet you tonight?
SARAH: I did.

So, what's the rest of his mission?

With Anatoli dead, there's only one piece
left to be cleaned up. Perry.

We've arranged for him
to meet Chuck at the restaurant.

- And Chuck has to bring him in?
- No.

Chuck has to kill him.

What?

Chuck has to kill him?
You're giving him his red test tonight?

- That's right.
- Why didn't you tell me?

You would have said
you couldn't be a part of it.

I can't.

I can't be a part of it, and I won't.

You have to meet him.
I can't make him do something like that.

I'm not even sure that I want him
to be able to do something like that.

I'm sorry, Sarah,
this isn't about what you want.

It's about Chuck
and finding out what he's capable of.

Perry is a seasoned agent.
He's gonna do anything to save himself.

And if Chuck freezes then...

Then we could lose him.

That's why you'll be there.

If you give him the order,
if you tell him to kill Perry, he'll do it.

CHUCK:
Hey.

Wow, you look great.
Better than great.

Thank you. You look great too.

Thank you very much.
Feel pretty good.

Right off the bat, I just...
I want to apologize.

I wanna say I'm sorry
if I came across too strong last night.

With the way things seem to be
progressing between you and Shaw...

-...I wanted to tell you how I felt and I...
- Chuck.

I'm doing it again, aren't I?

Heh, heh. I'm coming across too strong,
I'm sorry about that.

Appetizer? Let's have an appetizer.

No. What am I thinking?
I gotta thank you. Thank you.

- I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you.
- Don't say that.

But it's true.

Chuck, you're gonna wanna stay calm
right now. Okay, I need you to trust me.

Why? You planning on surprising me
with something?

- Is that what this is?
- Something like that.

Your mission isn't over, Chuck.

The man in the photo is the man
that you ID'd last night.

He's a traitor who continues...

...to put civilians and agents
and the nation at risk.

We have arranged for you
to meet him here in five minutes' time.

He knows you're CIA.

And he will remain cautious
and probably try to maintain his cover.

The final part of your mission
is to kill him.

Are you being serious right now?

Are you kidding me? Kill him?
Here? Now? I can't do that.

Then you won't become a spy.

But then...

...we couldn't...

No. Probably not.

Sarah, when this started, I didn't think
I had a chance at becoming a real spy.

But if I can't do this,
then what'll I be?

Then you'll be Chuck
and there is nothing wrong with that.

That's all I can say. I'm sorry.
The rest is your decision.

Sarah, wait.

Are we absolutely sure
about this guy?

Yes, your target is Perry.

Your orders are clear.

- I don't know if I can do this.
- The decision is yours, Chuck.

But please know
that there is no turning back.

Has Carmichael checked in?

Yes, sir. He's right over there.
That table.

PERRY:
Carmichael?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, that's me.

Hope this doesn't take too long.
Got a date later.

Yeah. That shouldn't be a problem.
This should be fast.

These are some photos of some folks
that I work with.

Just wanted to see
if maybe you recognize any of them?

Yeah, maybe I will.

Sort of pride myself
on never forgetting faces.

I should hit the restroom first,
though, is that okay?

Yeah, yeah. Sure, not a problem.

[CHUCK GRUNTING]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

CHUCK: Get up.
- Okay.

- Get up. Get up.
- Okay. Relax, relax.

Relax, relax. Look, I had no choice.
I had no choice.

- People at The Ring, you have no idea.
- I have an idea.

You know these people
were not gonna put me in jail.

They were going to kill me.

You're not here to arrest me either.

I should've known.
You might as well be one of them.

I am not one of them.
I will never be one of them.

And for that very reason,
I am going to arrest you.

In fact, at this very moment consider
yourself officially arrested. Okay?

Okay? Now, you and I...

You and I, we're gonna take a nice...

...friendly, calm, leisurely walk
out of this men's room.

Turn around.
Turn around, turn around.

SHAW [OVER RADIO]:
Sarah, what's happening?

Do you mind easing up on that piece?
My back's all screwed up.

Thanks, buddy.

Slow it down, okay?

Hey, slow down.

[WOMAN YELPS]

[PERRY GRUNTS]

Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it.
Don't you see? This is what they want.

I gave you a chance.

Please. I had no choice.

[GUNSHOT]

Well?

Chuck is a spy.

CHUCK:
What does all this mean, Casey?

I mean, technically, I failed my test.

You need to understand that to Walker,
Shaw and Beckman, you passed.

To them, you killed Perry,
exactly what you were trained to do.

Yeah, except that I didn't do it,
you did.

Chuck, I'm a civilian, which means...

...under the law,
what happened was murder.

No one can know the truth
about that, ever.

Not even Sarah.
She'd be implicated too.

But all that means
that I'm still not a real spy.

I don't know who I am.
I don't know what I am.

I can't answer
that one for you, Chuck.

Hey.

Why did you do it?

Because you weren't going to.

You're not a killer, Chuck.

Thanks.

[PHONE RINGING]

Come on, Sarah.

Where are you?

Sarah?

Good evening, Chuck.
Congratulations.

You are now officially an agent.

Included is a plane ticket
to Washington...

...for your immediate final induction
and processing.

[DEVICE BEEPS]

[DIALING]

[RINGING]

Come on, Sarah.

[PHONE BEEPS]

Sarah, hey, it's me.

I need to talk to you.

About everything.

Are you okay?

I just didn't think that he would do it.

They want me to fly to D.C. tonight.

And now I realize that it's my fault
that he did.

Please call me back
as soon as you get this.

Chuck made his own choice.

And like the rest of us,
he did it to serve his country.

At dinner he said
he wouldn't even be here...

...if it wasn't for me,
and he was right.

- Are you still in love with him?
- No.

Not anymore.

It's just, he's not gonna be
the same person again.

I know I wasn't. I remember
everything about my red test.

A street name and a time to be there.

No name, just a photo.

And it was all happening
the way it was supposed to and then...

And then she dropped something,
like a piece of jewelry, and...

I couldn't do it.
Not with her on the ground like that.

So I just kept walking.

And then, in the reflection,
I saw her reaching for a weapon.

Well, at least I thought
I saw her reaching.

And I wanted to go back
and check, to make sure.

But it was...

[SIREN APPROACHING]

There was no time.

SHAW:
It's never easy.

But in the end it helps to save lives.

Never forget that.

It was the worst day of my life.

[KNOCKS]

Thank God, Sarah.

- Hey.
- Good evening, Agent Bartowski.

Your flight leaves in an hour.

I'm here to take you to the airport.
Are you ready?

[ENGLISH - US - SDH]