Chuck (2007–2012): Season 3, Episode 1 - Chuck Versus the Pink Slip - full transcript
After his Internet upgrade, Chuck agreed to start full CIA spy training int Prague, but first reneges on a secret agreement with Sara to run away from it to start a 'real life' with her, then fails the graduate after six months. Totally disheartened, he becomes a couch potato at Ellie's, barely interested when Morgan returns from his Hawaiian sushi chef training. Chuck is humiliated when found out as shabby Buy More client by Emmet, but discovers Sara is back in the bunker there. Even Casey can't watch how cold-heartedly the scorned vamp ignores her lover, yet loses that sympathy when Chuck flashes at a hit-man but fails to show he's actually there, so it seems he messed up six months of preparation. Yet Chuck's luck turns.
No one stops us.
No one ever has.
(trilling)
Chuck, did you just flash?
Oh, Chuck me.
Kill him.
Hyah!
(man yells)
Chuck?
Guys...
I know kung fu.
(trilling)
(man whistles)
(Eastern European accent): Agent Carmichael.
Call me "Charles."
(chuckles) You have something
that belongs to my boss, Yuri: the case.
I would like for you to give it to me.
Please?
(scoffs)
You show up with no gun and "Please?"
What, I quiver in fear?
BECKMAN: Chuck,
we've got a lock on the case.
It's there in the room with you.
Give me the case...
or else.
Or else what?
Or else I do this?
No, I was thinking something more like this.
Ha! Cool, cool, cool! Everybody be cool!
Everybody just chill out!
Very, very good. On the ground now.
Nice and easy.
Now, Yuri, hand me that case,
and then after that, it's pirogi time.
Ooh.
BECKMAN: Shoot him, Chuck.
Do it.
Shoot me.
Don't mess with me, Yuri.
BECKMAN: Shoot him now!
Get him!
BECKMAN: Chuck, what is happening?
Your heart rate just spiked.
Are you okay? I'm okay.
I got punched in the face.
It's throbbing a little bit.
Get out of there now!
Where's my exit?
They're closing in on you.
Get to a roof.
Chopper's...
Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
Listen, General, I don't
want to sound demanding here,
but I could really use that
chopper right about now!
The chopper's too far out.
Satellite says there's a
power line on the roof
that runs to the next building.
Zip line across,
we'll find you a new exit...
What do you mean, zip line?
It's in the Intersect.
Okay, I got this.
Oh. Oh.
Oh, God. Oh, God.
General, I don't think this is
a good idea. I'm not flashing. Do it, Chuck!
Flash!
Look, if you stress me out,
it's never going to work.
Chuck, flash! Okay.
Okay.
Flash.
One, two, three, flash.
I don't think my vertigo is helping here.
General, are you there?
General?!
YURI: You're dead.
That's all, Frank.
Terminate the simulation.
(with Southern accent): Copy that, ma'am.
Chuck?
You can come down now.
(sighs)
BECKMAN: Why didn't you shoot Yuri,
Chuck?
Well, we were very close,
and while I realize
it's just a simulation,
safety first, you know?
And to be perfectly honest,
I'm still not comfortable
with the whole shooting people thing.
This isn't working out.
Look, General, I realize
that we've had our setbacks,
I-I-I do, but let's not
dwell in the past here.
I'm convinced I can be
a great spy. I know it.
We've spent millions of dollars
to get you up and running
as our new Intersect agent.
It's not working.
Well, maybe my dad can help.
He built the computer.
The problem is not with the computer.
It's with you.
The Intersect 2.0 was designed
to go into a real spy,
like Bryce Larkin,
someone in complete
control of their feelings.
(car door opening) What are you saying?
It's over.
Our Los Angeles field unit
will keep an eye on you
until a final decision can be
made regarding your status.
Wait, hold on just-just a second here.
Are you saying you're firing me, General?
Do you... You have any idea
what I gave up for this?
Good-bye, Chuck. No.
You don't know what I said no to!
Frank. Oh.
CASEY: Go home, tell your
sister you went on
a last-minute trip to Europe,
six weeks.
CHUCK: Okay. Where are
we really going?
CASEY: To a Red Site
training facility.
Training for what?
For you, moron.
The new Intersect.
They're gonna train you to use it,
turn you into a real super-spy.
CHUCK: Sarah, did Casey tell you
they're moving me to a training facility?
I'm going to be a real spy. I know, I heard.
Come on. What...?
What's the matter?
If you do this, if you go,
you're gonna be a spy for
the rest of your life.
Every city is gonna be a new
mission and a new identity,
and you're not gonna be the same person.
Yeah. That's a great thing.
Chuck, listen. We could...
We could what?
We could run?
Together. You and me.
We go now, and we never look back.
Are you serious?
I have some money saved up.
I'd have to get us some new identities,
create an escape route.
For now, go to the training
facility in Prague,
then meet me at the Nadrazi train station
in three weeks' time at 7:00,
and then I can figure the rest out later.
What are you saying?
I'm saying I want to be a real person again.
With you.
This is what you want, right?
I mean, this is it, Chuck.
Will you run away with me?
Yeah.
ELLIE: Chuck? Chuck, what happened?
Chuck, honey, where's Sarah?
I lost her.
The girl of my dreams.
It was all my fault.
Well, maybe not.
Why don't you just pick
up the phone and call her?
You guys can work it out.
I'm sure she misses you, too.
* *
(cell phone vibrating)
Your phone, my dear.
Pick up, Sarah.
(line ringing)
(phone vibrating)
(phone vibrating, static crackling)
(tires screeching)
* Na-na na-na na-na *
* Na-na na-na na-na *
* Na-na na-na na-na *
* Na-na na-na na-na *
* Na-na na-na na-na *
* Na-na na-na na-na *
(whimpers)
ELLIE: Morning, Chuck.
Morning, bro. Mm-hmm.
Chuck, you feeling any better?
You got a game plan?
Job hunting? Probably not.
No rush, amigo,
but how long you think you'll be staying?
* *
ELLIE: Chuck?
Chuck, if you won't talk to me,
then you have a visitor.
Chuck!
Chuck? (Morgan snaps fingers)
It's-It's me, man.
Morgan. Ow.
Morgan?! Yeah?
Is that you?
It is. It is. Ah.
I-I'm back for a few days.
Hawaii is great.
And Benihana... Forget about it.
Flying through the ranks.
That's it, man. I'm gonna
be master chef in no time.
I'm so proud of you.
We should get together soon, you know.
You and I sit down and...
Yeah? No. I would love that.
That's exactly what I thought...
Hmm.
Worse than I thought.
All right, Chuck, that is enough!
Sit up! You are getting
off this couch. (groans)
And you are going to do something
today.
Out! Out!
MORGAN: I tried, guys.
ELLIE: Leave him with his cheese balls.
That's all he cares about.
(door closes)
(laughs)
(sighs)
Hello, sir.
How may I service you?
n deep voice): Uh...
I'm looking for cheese puffs?
Aisle 3.
It's been a pleasure serving you.
Look at that wretch.
Security, we have a
street person in aisle 3.
Could be the one stealing
toilet paper from the bathroom.
(indistinct radio transmission)
(gasps)
Gotcha. Hand it over, punk.
Bartowski?
(laughing)
Oh, Chuck Bartowski?
(Emmett laughing)
Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Get a good look, everybody.
Everybody, everybody, come hither.
Come hither.
Take a sniff.
(sniffing loudly)
(exhaling forcefully)
That is the putrid stench of failure.
That's why you don't leave the Buy More.
Okay. You become feral.
Wretched.
You're just another loser.
My God, you're pathetic.
Sneaking back into the Buy More like some...
vagrant Serpico.
Goodness.
You're a hot mess. Emmett, please.
I'm sorry. Do you have something to say?
Right here.
(groans)
No, I have nothing to say.
I'm good. I'm okay. I'm good.
Oh, that's what I thought.
(laughing)
Well, it's a good thing
because you don't know how close you came
to getting your ass kicked.
(teeth click)
(snapping)
Oh, Captain, my Captain!
Please tell us that you've returned
to take control of the Buy More!
Look, I'm... I'm sorry, fellas.
I'm-I'm sorry, everyone. I don't think
I could help even if I tried.
Yeah, no, I know. I know.
What do you care about our troubles?
You still got blondie.
Actually, we're not...
I think she's getting hotter.
Agreed. Her ass seems
to be lifting ever so slightly.
Listen, Charles... What?
Ass.
No. What?
You've seen her?
Just through the lens of a telescope
when she goes in and out
of that nasty yogurt shop.
She's still here?!
Sarah?
(clattering) Hello?
(grunts)
(crunching)
Heard you were a lemon,
but this is pathetic, Bartowski.
Even for you.
What the hell are you doing here?
I think that I left a light jacket
in Castle. I was just here to pick it up.
Clean those up.
Hurry it up. I gotta finish packing.
What's been going on in the biz?
You, uh, talk to any of the old gang?
Sarah, for instance?
(phone rings) Nope.
Really?
Yeah?
Mm-hmm. Can I talk to her
when you're done?
Yeah.
7:00. Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Just tell her...
if you could just ask her
if she's gotten my messages
because I've been calling...
a lot.
It's the Lemon.
Duly noted. See ya tonight.
Did she say anything about me?
Nope.
Hey, you guys going
on a mission? You need backup?
I can still flash.
(chuckles)
Not what I heard.
Come on, Casey, please.
Beckman canned me, all right, man.
I need to prove to her
that I can still do this.
That I can still be a spy.
Can you?
Yes, I can. And this could work, too.
Because if I help you guys,
then maybe Beckman puts the
old team back together.
Hmm.
And all my dreams come true.
(computer whirring)
What?
I'm heading out.
Enjoy your spy game thing.
And stay in touch.
Hey.
What happened between you and Walker?
Something I need to fix.
* *
Um, somebody called about
a computer emergency.
Sound board's down.
Cool. Thanks.
Walker, we have a situation.
Hello, Chuck.
What are you doing here?
Don't worry. This is not about us.
I'm purely here for backup.
I need to prove to Beckman...
Kiss me.
What? Right now?
Don't you think we should
talk first? I'm getting mixed signals.
Kiss me now!
Who the hell is that?
Uh... just my ex.
He's having some trouble letting go.
Hmm.
(groaning)
Why'd you knock him out?
It was a slap. Mmm.
Lemon's got a glass jaw.
I was caught off guard on
an empty stomach, okay?
I didn't eat anything. I can take a punch.
You mean a slap.
I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry, guys.
I didn't mean to screw anything up.
I just came here to help out.
Things went wrong in Prague,
I don't know why,
but I know that I can do this.
I can be a spy.
Sarah, you know I can.
Please.
Get him out of here.
You heard the lady.
Get out of here.
Casey, wait, wait, wait.
I can help you. Bartowski,
it's a simple courier exchange.
Gilles, the guy with Walker,
he's the mark.
He's meeting with a major
Ring operative tonight.
The Ring? They killed Bryce.
The moment the Ring courier
meets with Gilles, we strike.
Now, get out of here
before you spook Javier.
Who?
The courier, Javier Cruz.
(snapping fingers): Get him out of here.
CASEY: Javier Cruz.
(gasping)
Casey, Javier's not a courier!
Come on, buddy. Let's go. No, guys.
Guys, you have to listen to me.
Javier's not who you think he is!
He's an assassin! Trust me!
He's here to kill someone.
CASEY: We dumped the Lemon.
Let me back in!
Let me back in!
(grunting): Come on.
Come...
Okay. Okay.
All right. All right.
Oh, son of a...
That's going to leave a mark.
Okay. Okay.
Calm down, Chuck.
Don't be emotional.
Excuse me.
Por favor...
(panting)
Oh... oh, my God,
I'm so sorry.
Oh. Oh. I'm so sorry.
My bad. Wake up. Wake up.
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
* *
Where have you been? You're on. What?
Let's go! No, no, wait.
I have to use the little boys'...
the little chicos' room,
little amigos' room.
(whistling, applause)
Hola! ¿Como estas?
Ah!
Yeah.
Hey, where's Manny?
Spastic colon.
I'm filling in for him.
He's going to blow the whole op!
Just give him a second.
(strumming guitar)
* Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma *
* Ma ma ma ma ma ma. *
Bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno.
(clearing throat)
(playing guitar)
Where the hell did he learn that?
(whistling, applause)
Isn't that your ex?
Yeah, he's a bit of a show-off.
Just ignore him.
(whispering): Assassin.
(whispering): Assassin.
Where?
(groans)
Do you want my men
to take care of your ex? Uh, no.
Come dance with me.
What is he doing here?
He's just trying to make you jealous.
And that's supposed to be your job.
(plucking strings)
Wait.
How did he know you were here?
Who is he really?
Tranq him! Take him out now!
(drumming on guitar)
* *
You have nothing to worry about.
Sarah!
(gun chamber clicking) GILLES:
What's going on?
MAN: Don't move! Don't you move!
Chuck, what the hell are you doing?
There's a... There's an assassin here.
There's an assassin here, people.
He was gonna kill her.
He was gonna kill you. Where?
Where is he?
Half this club is undercover, Chuck.
CASEY: Been planning this for months.
Good thing we brought this many agents
'cause I'm gonna kill you! No!
Casey!
Sarah, I flashed.
I swear to you,
there was an assassin here. It was Javier.
Now we'll never know.
You don't work anymore, Chuck. It's over.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Chuck, you shaved.
That's great.
It was a rash decision.
I can't bear to watch him wallow around
like this all day. It's pathetic.
What's up, bro? Huh?
Still playing the loser cover?
You're nailing it.
Not a cover.
It's my life.
I was fired for real.
I'm not a spy anymore.
And to be perfectly honest,
I'm not sure I ever really was.
Whoa. Wait.
This is really you?
Maybe we should be introduced.
Hi. I'm Chuck Bartowski, total loser,
cheese ball addict.
Does the CIA let you just leave like that?
Don't they send someone to,
like, kill you or something?
(laughs)
I think you've watched too many movies.
(laughs)
(floorboards creaking)
(yells)
(yells) Don't kill me!
Duh! Holy, dude.
It's-It's just... It's me.
Ellie thought I should come by and...
Thought I might cheer you up. I...
Yeah, well,
thanks, but I wish
everyone would just leave
me alone because I'm fine.
No, you're not, dude.
Come on.
I've known you a long time, pal.
You're slightly unmotivated,
a bit of an underachiever,
but a loser?
It's not your turf.
What's going on?
(sighs)
I blew it, buddy.
Opportunity of a lifetime.
Without getting into specifics,
I had a job offer
that would have included a lot of travel
and excitement, and I've already
been fired from it twice.
Amateur hour.
You haven't even scratched the surface.
You want to see rock bottom? Okay.
Follow me, sir.
So, I got canned from Benihana
a few weeks ago,
and Anna took off with the prep chef.
I lost my mojo.
Couldn't flip the shrimp.
Couldn't flip the shrimp.
Bed,
TV,
microwave for meals.
And of course, machine for laundry.
Drink in it, Chuck.
This is as low as a man can get.
EMMETT: Grimes.
So he's been the one stealing the TP.
Well, I should have known
he'd never make it in an
Asian business culture.
I'll have the authorities
deal with him tomorrow.
I'm gonna miss this.
What?
M-134 mini-gun.
3,400 rounds a minute.
Never got to use her.
(computer chirps)
Poor bastard.
Who?
Moron that's still in love with you.
I promise you, Casey,
he's not in love with me.
Oh, come on. I don't know
what happened between you two.
Don't want to.
Just saying I've seen men have
their fingernails pulled off
treated more humanely than you did that kid.
Well, I was just doing my job.
Job's over.
Put him out of his misery.
He deserves that much.
(engine starting)
Oh.
(singing along to radio)
* *
Wait a second.
Hello!
Uh... can I help you?
Where can I find this man?
Oh, don't ask me.
He's no longer an employee at this store.
If you want to find him,
you can walk out front
and follow the smell.
You can leave now.
Okay. Okay.
We can do this the easy way,
or the hard way.
I got Mace.
Yeah.
So you better get your Brokeback boots
off my property,
or I'm gonna send you crying
back to your mommy's womb.
Yeah.
(laughs)
Oh...
* *
MORGAN: Say good-bye forever, pal.
Had some good years here.
Yeah, to be honest,
I think I'd rather forget
it all ever happened.
Right. Uh, why don't I give
you guys a few seconds,
and I'll just see you back at your place?
Yeah.
Thanks, buddy. Yeah, yeah.
Hey, Sarah.
Hey.
I wanted to say a proper good-bye.
It's been a pleasure working
with you, Agent Walker.
You, too, Agent Bartowski.
I appreciate that, but I think we both know
that the whole agent thing
didn't really work out.
If I could go back in time...
Uh, Chuck?
Please, Sarah, let me get this off my chest.
Okay, at least I can live knowing
that I told you everything about how I felt.
You owe me that. No. Chuck...
And I owed you that.
(groans)
(door opening, gasps)
(panting)
(door creaking)
Oh, Javier.
Uh, you know, I think we actually got off
on the wrong foot.
Truth be told, I'm a huge
fan of mariachi music.
And my hitting you was
completely unintentional.
I want to know who you are.
Nobody. I'm nobody.
In fact, I think that I
have documentation somewhere
that-that proves that
I'm an official nobody.
Wow. You are extremely ripped, sir.
You hit me very well outside the club.
Try that again.
Okay, let's do this. Let's do this.
Shh. Freaking flash. Come on!
If you could just give me one second.
(grunting)
You're going to tell me everything,
Mr. Bartowski.
All the secrets you know.
Who you are, who you work for.
And then, you're going to
tell me about the girl.
(keys jangling, door closing)
SARAH: For now,
you should go to Prague,
and then meet me at the
Nadrazi train station
in three weeks' time at 7:00,
and then we can figure the rest out
later.
* *
Here is your ticket and your new passport.
Your name is Hector Caldaron.
Sarah, wait. We have plenty of time to talk
on the train. Right now we have to act fast.
Trust me, Chuck.
It's all going to work out fine.
That's not the kiss that I was expecting.
Sarah, there is an entire facility here
dedicated and designed to
turning me into Intersect 2.0.
I mean, think about it.
Think about that.
Me, a real spy, you know,
living a life of adventure,
and doing things that really matter.
It's not that simple.
You don't know who you're working for.
It's complicated. Nothing is real.
This...
This is simple.
This is a real life.
(bells clanging)
We have to go, Chuck. This is it.
Are you coming?
* *
I can't.
I'm sorr
I'm sorry.
CASEY: Any sign of Walker?
MAN: Last ping had her
at the Buy More.
You gotta be kidding me.
I want a real-time satellite
trace on every car
that's been in the Buy More parking lot
in the last six hours. Do it.
Get the chopper read Sir,
on whose authority?
Mine.
The Colonel.
Come on, Chuck. You can do this.
Just one flash of kung fu
and we are out of here.
(panting)
I'm dead.
I'm so completely dead.
What am I going to do?
SARAH: Chuck. Chuck,
can you hear me?
Sarah?
I need you to break out of
your cell and come and get me.
I couldn't pick this stupid lock!
There's no way
Chuck. that we could reverse
those roles, is there?
You can do this.
You've been trained to do this.
The Intersect can do this.
Sarah, you don't get it.
You and Casey were right, okay.
I'm-I'm a lemon.
I don't work.
My emotions just mess everything up.
No.
Chuck, listen, I was mad...
and wrong.
And ever since you went to Prague,
I have worked with the
best spies in the world.
And you know what?
They're on their way here to save us?
None of them can do what you can do.
You're a spy.
Now flash on Javier and get us out of here.
(rattling)
Something's happening here, Sarah.
Chuck.
Don't freak out.
(door opens)
When I'm done with you,
I'm going to deal with her.
The girl.
Me first.
(groans)
Chuck?
What happened?
(panting)
Something... awesome!
Thank you.
Let's go. No. Hey, you should've seen it.
I knocked him out with one punch.
One punch. That's great. Let's talk and run.
CHUCK: Where are we?
Chuck, I'm almost out. We need to get off
this roof.
What are you doing?
Zip line.
It'll work. I promise.
Okay. I trust you.
Hold on tight.
I...
I can't believe that worked!
I'm not so sure it did.
(pting)
Sarah... there's something
I need to tell you.
Not now, Chuck.
(panting)
Actually, I think this
might be my last chance.
(helicopter approaching)
Oh, get down!
(rapid gunfire)
(laughing)
(groans)
Javier Cruz was a vital operative
for The Ring's Mexico Syndicate.
The device you picked up
is a custom smart phone for Ring operatives.
This is the first one we have ever captured.
Hey, good job, Team Bartowski.
General, Colonel Casey and I
will be departing for Lisbon tonight.
There's been chatter
that another Ring cell is operating there.
That won't be necessary.
Why not?
I can't believe I'm about to say this...
Say it.
I mean...
(clears throat):...please say it.
I'm putting Operation
Bartowski back into the field.
Yes!
Casey, Sarah,
you will work alongside Agent Bartowski
to bring down the Ring.
That is all.
(cheering)
This is great!
This is great. Come on, guys.
The three of us, the old gang,
back together again.
I cannot wait.
Hey, what's my new cover going to be?
'Cause I-I need a new job.
Can it be something exciting?
Race car driver?
Hmm?
It's gotta be something cool.
* *
Oh, wow.
I can't believe you got me
this job back so quickly.
Yeah, well, with no manager,
the paperwork was easy to push through.
So, Emmett really took a
Large Mart job in Anchorage?
. Well, good for him.
Oh, also, thanks for doing that extra favor.
What?
I speak of the bearded one.
MORGAN (singsongy): We're back!
Up high.
(grunting)
There he goes.
There he goes. He's busy.
Work, work, work, that guy.
Are you ready for this?
Someone from corporate called me
and pretty much begged
me to take my job back.
Did they? I'm serious.
I guess they know talent.
They do indeed, my friend. (chuckles)
Sarah, I need you
to keep Chuck's emotions in
check so the Intersect can work.
He listens to you,
but halso an unstable element.
Do you think he's dangerous?
Very, but he's worth the risk.
For the last two years,
we protected Chuck from the world.
But, now, we have to protect
the world from Chuck.
CAPTAIN: Hey, do we really
need all this stuff?
Oh, hey, guys.
Hey, Devon.
Hey, El. What's happening?
Uh, well, we're moving.
Yeah, the, uh, the apartment
across the courtyard opened up. So,
we're taking it.
We needed a place for two
and you can get a roommate.
You know? You have plenty of friends.
I'm so happy right now.
Other friends, Chuck.
Other friends.
Uh... listen to me, listen to me. Two words.
Bachelor pad.
Yes!
I got dibs on Ellie's room.
Okay.
Chuck.
We should talk.
Absolutely.
(sighs)
I'll go first. I'll go first. Sure.
(clears throat)
Sarah, they wanted me to be a spy, okay.
They told me
that I could make a difference.
For years, I been... I been kicking around
not knowing what I wanted to do with my life
like a... like a loser.
that they thoughtreally I
could change the world.
Me. Chuck Bartowski.
It was never about you...
Stop.
(sighs)
I acted impulsively.
And it's a mistake I don't usually make.
And it won't happen again.
But, Sarah...
You're a spy now, Chuck.
You have to keep your feelings to yourself.
(door opens)
Numbnuts.
Ready?
Ready for what?
Your training. Come on.
(groans)
* *
You have much to learn, grasshopper.
Have you flashed yet?
Take a breath.
Let's do this.
No one ever has.
(trilling)
Chuck, did you just flash?
Oh, Chuck me.
Kill him.
Hyah!
(man yells)
Chuck?
Guys...
I know kung fu.
(trilling)
(man whistles)
(Eastern European accent): Agent Carmichael.
Call me "Charles."
(chuckles) You have something
that belongs to my boss, Yuri: the case.
I would like for you to give it to me.
Please?
(scoffs)
You show up with no gun and "Please?"
What, I quiver in fear?
BECKMAN: Chuck,
we've got a lock on the case.
It's there in the room with you.
Give me the case...
or else.
Or else what?
Or else I do this?
No, I was thinking something more like this.
Ha! Cool, cool, cool! Everybody be cool!
Everybody just chill out!
Very, very good. On the ground now.
Nice and easy.
Now, Yuri, hand me that case,
and then after that, it's pirogi time.
Ooh.
BECKMAN: Shoot him, Chuck.
Do it.
Shoot me.
Don't mess with me, Yuri.
BECKMAN: Shoot him now!
Get him!
BECKMAN: Chuck, what is happening?
Your heart rate just spiked.
Are you okay? I'm okay.
I got punched in the face.
It's throbbing a little bit.
Get out of there now!
Where's my exit?
They're closing in on you.
Get to a roof.
Chopper's...
Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!
Listen, General, I don't
want to sound demanding here,
but I could really use that
chopper right about now!
The chopper's too far out.
Satellite says there's a
power line on the roof
that runs to the next building.
Zip line across,
we'll find you a new exit...
What do you mean, zip line?
It's in the Intersect.
Okay, I got this.
Oh. Oh.
Oh, God. Oh, God.
General, I don't think this is
a good idea. I'm not flashing. Do it, Chuck!
Flash!
Look, if you stress me out,
it's never going to work.
Chuck, flash! Okay.
Okay.
Flash.
One, two, three, flash.
I don't think my vertigo is helping here.
General, are you there?
General?!
YURI: You're dead.
That's all, Frank.
Terminate the simulation.
(with Southern accent): Copy that, ma'am.
Chuck?
You can come down now.
(sighs)
BECKMAN: Why didn't you shoot Yuri,
Chuck?
Well, we were very close,
and while I realize
it's just a simulation,
safety first, you know?
And to be perfectly honest,
I'm still not comfortable
with the whole shooting people thing.
This isn't working out.
Look, General, I realize
that we've had our setbacks,
I-I-I do, but let's not
dwell in the past here.
I'm convinced I can be
a great spy. I know it.
We've spent millions of dollars
to get you up and running
as our new Intersect agent.
It's not working.
Well, maybe my dad can help.
He built the computer.
The problem is not with the computer.
It's with you.
The Intersect 2.0 was designed
to go into a real spy,
like Bryce Larkin,
someone in complete
control of their feelings.
(car door opening) What are you saying?
It's over.
Our Los Angeles field unit
will keep an eye on you
until a final decision can be
made regarding your status.
Wait, hold on just-just a second here.
Are you saying you're firing me, General?
Do you... You have any idea
what I gave up for this?
Good-bye, Chuck. No.
You don't know what I said no to!
Frank. Oh.
CASEY: Go home, tell your
sister you went on
a last-minute trip to Europe,
six weeks.
CHUCK: Okay. Where are
we really going?
CASEY: To a Red Site
training facility.
Training for what?
For you, moron.
The new Intersect.
They're gonna train you to use it,
turn you into a real super-spy.
CHUCK: Sarah, did Casey tell you
they're moving me to a training facility?
I'm going to be a real spy. I know, I heard.
Come on. What...?
What's the matter?
If you do this, if you go,
you're gonna be a spy for
the rest of your life.
Every city is gonna be a new
mission and a new identity,
and you're not gonna be the same person.
Yeah. That's a great thing.
Chuck, listen. We could...
We could what?
We could run?
Together. You and me.
We go now, and we never look back.
Are you serious?
I have some money saved up.
I'd have to get us some new identities,
create an escape route.
For now, go to the training
facility in Prague,
then meet me at the Nadrazi train station
in three weeks' time at 7:00,
and then I can figure the rest out later.
What are you saying?
I'm saying I want to be a real person again.
With you.
This is what you want, right?
I mean, this is it, Chuck.
Will you run away with me?
Yeah.
ELLIE: Chuck? Chuck, what happened?
Chuck, honey, where's Sarah?
I lost her.
The girl of my dreams.
It was all my fault.
Well, maybe not.
Why don't you just pick
up the phone and call her?
You guys can work it out.
I'm sure she misses you, too.
* *
(cell phone vibrating)
Your phone, my dear.
Pick up, Sarah.
(line ringing)
(phone vibrating)
(phone vibrating, static crackling)
(tires screeching)
* Na-na na-na na-na *
* Na-na na-na na-na *
* Na-na na-na na-na *
* Na-na na-na na-na *
* Na-na na-na na-na *
* Na-na na-na na-na *
(whimpers)
ELLIE: Morning, Chuck.
Morning, bro. Mm-hmm.
Chuck, you feeling any better?
You got a game plan?
Job hunting? Probably not.
No rush, amigo,
but how long you think you'll be staying?
* *
ELLIE: Chuck?
Chuck, if you won't talk to me,
then you have a visitor.
Chuck!
Chuck? (Morgan snaps fingers)
It's-It's me, man.
Morgan. Ow.
Morgan?! Yeah?
Is that you?
It is. It is. Ah.
I-I'm back for a few days.
Hawaii is great.
And Benihana... Forget about it.
Flying through the ranks.
That's it, man. I'm gonna
be master chef in no time.
I'm so proud of you.
We should get together soon, you know.
You and I sit down and...
Yeah? No. I would love that.
That's exactly what I thought...
Hmm.
Worse than I thought.
All right, Chuck, that is enough!
Sit up! You are getting
off this couch. (groans)
And you are going to do something
today.
Out! Out!
MORGAN: I tried, guys.
ELLIE: Leave him with his cheese balls.
That's all he cares about.
(door closes)
(laughs)
(sighs)
Hello, sir.
How may I service you?
n deep voice): Uh...
I'm looking for cheese puffs?
Aisle 3.
It's been a pleasure serving you.
Look at that wretch.
Security, we have a
street person in aisle 3.
Could be the one stealing
toilet paper from the bathroom.
(indistinct radio transmission)
(gasps)
Gotcha. Hand it over, punk.
Bartowski?
(laughing)
Oh, Chuck Bartowski?
(Emmett laughing)
Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Get a good look, everybody.
Everybody, everybody, come hither.
Come hither.
Take a sniff.
(sniffing loudly)
(exhaling forcefully)
That is the putrid stench of failure.
That's why you don't leave the Buy More.
Okay. You become feral.
Wretched.
You're just another loser.
My God, you're pathetic.
Sneaking back into the Buy More like some...
vagrant Serpico.
Goodness.
You're a hot mess. Emmett, please.
I'm sorry. Do you have something to say?
Right here.
(groans)
No, I have nothing to say.
I'm good. I'm okay. I'm good.
Oh, that's what I thought.
(laughing)
Well, it's a good thing
because you don't know how close you came
to getting your ass kicked.
(teeth click)
(snapping)
Oh, Captain, my Captain!
Please tell us that you've returned
to take control of the Buy More!
Look, I'm... I'm sorry, fellas.
I'm-I'm sorry, everyone. I don't think
I could help even if I tried.
Yeah, no, I know. I know.
What do you care about our troubles?
You still got blondie.
Actually, we're not...
I think she's getting hotter.
Agreed. Her ass seems
to be lifting ever so slightly.
Listen, Charles... What?
Ass.
No. What?
You've seen her?
Just through the lens of a telescope
when she goes in and out
of that nasty yogurt shop.
She's still here?!
Sarah?
(clattering) Hello?
(grunts)
(crunching)
Heard you were a lemon,
but this is pathetic, Bartowski.
Even for you.
What the hell are you doing here?
I think that I left a light jacket
in Castle. I was just here to pick it up.
Clean those up.
Hurry it up. I gotta finish packing.
What's been going on in the biz?
You, uh, talk to any of the old gang?
Sarah, for instance?
(phone rings) Nope.
Really?
Yeah?
Mm-hmm. Can I talk to her
when you're done?
Yeah.
7:00. Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Just tell her...
if you could just ask her
if she's gotten my messages
because I've been calling...
a lot.
It's the Lemon.
Duly noted. See ya tonight.
Did she say anything about me?
Nope.
Hey, you guys going
on a mission? You need backup?
I can still flash.
(chuckles)
Not what I heard.
Come on, Casey, please.
Beckman canned me, all right, man.
I need to prove to her
that I can still do this.
That I can still be a spy.
Can you?
Yes, I can. And this could work, too.
Because if I help you guys,
then maybe Beckman puts the
old team back together.
Hmm.
And all my dreams come true.
(computer whirring)
What?
I'm heading out.
Enjoy your spy game thing.
And stay in touch.
Hey.
What happened between you and Walker?
Something I need to fix.
* *
Um, somebody called about
a computer emergency.
Sound board's down.
Cool. Thanks.
Walker, we have a situation.
Hello, Chuck.
What are you doing here?
Don't worry. This is not about us.
I'm purely here for backup.
I need to prove to Beckman...
Kiss me.
What? Right now?
Don't you think we should
talk first? I'm getting mixed signals.
Kiss me now!
Who the hell is that?
Uh... just my ex.
He's having some trouble letting go.
Hmm.
(groaning)
Why'd you knock him out?
It was a slap. Mmm.
Lemon's got a glass jaw.
I was caught off guard on
an empty stomach, okay?
I didn't eat anything. I can take a punch.
You mean a slap.
I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry, guys.
I didn't mean to screw anything up.
I just came here to help out.
Things went wrong in Prague,
I don't know why,
but I know that I can do this.
I can be a spy.
Sarah, you know I can.
Please.
Get him out of here.
You heard the lady.
Get out of here.
Casey, wait, wait, wait.
I can help you. Bartowski,
it's a simple courier exchange.
Gilles, the guy with Walker,
he's the mark.
He's meeting with a major
Ring operative tonight.
The Ring? They killed Bryce.
The moment the Ring courier
meets with Gilles, we strike.
Now, get out of here
before you spook Javier.
Who?
The courier, Javier Cruz.
(snapping fingers): Get him out of here.
CASEY: Javier Cruz.
(gasping)
Casey, Javier's not a courier!
Come on, buddy. Let's go. No, guys.
Guys, you have to listen to me.
Javier's not who you think he is!
He's an assassin! Trust me!
He's here to kill someone.
CASEY: We dumped the Lemon.
Let me back in!
Let me back in!
(grunting): Come on.
Come...
Okay. Okay.
All right. All right.
Oh, son of a...
That's going to leave a mark.
Okay. Okay.
Calm down, Chuck.
Don't be emotional.
Excuse me.
Por favor...
(panting)
Oh... oh, my God,
I'm so sorry.
Oh. Oh. I'm so sorry.
My bad. Wake up. Wake up.
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
* *
Where have you been? You're on. What?
Let's go! No, no, wait.
I have to use the little boys'...
the little chicos' room,
little amigos' room.
(whistling, applause)
Hola! ¿Como estas?
Ah!
Yeah.
Hey, where's Manny?
Spastic colon.
I'm filling in for him.
He's going to blow the whole op!
Just give him a second.
(strumming guitar)
* Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma *
* Ma ma ma ma ma ma. *
Bueno, bueno, bueno, bueno.
(clearing throat)
(playing guitar)
Where the hell did he learn that?
(whistling, applause)
Isn't that your ex?
Yeah, he's a bit of a show-off.
Just ignore him.
(whispering): Assassin.
(whispering): Assassin.
Where?
(groans)
Do you want my men
to take care of your ex? Uh, no.
Come dance with me.
What is he doing here?
He's just trying to make you jealous.
And that's supposed to be your job.
(plucking strings)
Wait.
How did he know you were here?
Who is he really?
Tranq him! Take him out now!
(drumming on guitar)
* *
You have nothing to worry about.
Sarah!
(gun chamber clicking) GILLES:
What's going on?
MAN: Don't move! Don't you move!
Chuck, what the hell are you doing?
There's a... There's an assassin here.
There's an assassin here, people.
He was gonna kill her.
He was gonna kill you. Where?
Where is he?
Half this club is undercover, Chuck.
CASEY: Been planning this for months.
Good thing we brought this many agents
'cause I'm gonna kill you! No!
Casey!
Sarah, I flashed.
I swear to you,
there was an assassin here. It was Javier.
Now we'll never know.
You don't work anymore, Chuck. It's over.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Chuck, you shaved.
That's great.
It was a rash decision.
I can't bear to watch him wallow around
like this all day. It's pathetic.
What's up, bro? Huh?
Still playing the loser cover?
You're nailing it.
Not a cover.
It's my life.
I was fired for real.
I'm not a spy anymore.
And to be perfectly honest,
I'm not sure I ever really was.
Whoa. Wait.
This is really you?
Maybe we should be introduced.
Hi. I'm Chuck Bartowski, total loser,
cheese ball addict.
Does the CIA let you just leave like that?
Don't they send someone to,
like, kill you or something?
(laughs)
I think you've watched too many movies.
(laughs)
(floorboards creaking)
(yells)
(yells) Don't kill me!
Duh! Holy, dude.
It's-It's just... It's me.
Ellie thought I should come by and...
Thought I might cheer you up. I...
Yeah, well,
thanks, but I wish
everyone would just leave
me alone because I'm fine.
No, you're not, dude.
Come on.
I've known you a long time, pal.
You're slightly unmotivated,
a bit of an underachiever,
but a loser?
It's not your turf.
What's going on?
(sighs)
I blew it, buddy.
Opportunity of a lifetime.
Without getting into specifics,
I had a job offer
that would have included a lot of travel
and excitement, and I've already
been fired from it twice.
Amateur hour.
You haven't even scratched the surface.
You want to see rock bottom? Okay.
Follow me, sir.
So, I got canned from Benihana
a few weeks ago,
and Anna took off with the prep chef.
I lost my mojo.
Couldn't flip the shrimp.
Couldn't flip the shrimp.
Bed,
TV,
microwave for meals.
And of course, machine for laundry.
Drink in it, Chuck.
This is as low as a man can get.
EMMETT: Grimes.
So he's been the one stealing the TP.
Well, I should have known
he'd never make it in an
Asian business culture.
I'll have the authorities
deal with him tomorrow.
I'm gonna miss this.
What?
M-134 mini-gun.
3,400 rounds a minute.
Never got to use her.
(computer chirps)
Poor bastard.
Who?
Moron that's still in love with you.
I promise you, Casey,
he's not in love with me.
Oh, come on. I don't know
what happened between you two.
Don't want to.
Just saying I've seen men have
their fingernails pulled off
treated more humanely than you did that kid.
Well, I was just doing my job.
Job's over.
Put him out of his misery.
He deserves that much.
(engine starting)
Oh.
(singing along to radio)
* *
Wait a second.
Hello!
Uh... can I help you?
Where can I find this man?
Oh, don't ask me.
He's no longer an employee at this store.
If you want to find him,
you can walk out front
and follow the smell.
You can leave now.
Okay. Okay.
We can do this the easy way,
or the hard way.
I got Mace.
Yeah.
So you better get your Brokeback boots
off my property,
or I'm gonna send you crying
back to your mommy's womb.
Yeah.
(laughs)
Oh...
* *
MORGAN: Say good-bye forever, pal.
Had some good years here.
Yeah, to be honest,
I think I'd rather forget
it all ever happened.
Right. Uh, why don't I give
you guys a few seconds,
and I'll just see you back at your place?
Yeah.
Thanks, buddy. Yeah, yeah.
Hey, Sarah.
Hey.
I wanted to say a proper good-bye.
It's been a pleasure working
with you, Agent Walker.
You, too, Agent Bartowski.
I appreciate that, but I think we both know
that the whole agent thing
didn't really work out.
If I could go back in time...
Uh, Chuck?
Please, Sarah, let me get this off my chest.
Okay, at least I can live knowing
that I told you everything about how I felt.
You owe me that. No. Chuck...
And I owed you that.
(groans)
(door opening, gasps)
(panting)
(door creaking)
Oh, Javier.
Uh, you know, I think we actually got off
on the wrong foot.
Truth be told, I'm a huge
fan of mariachi music.
And my hitting you was
completely unintentional.
I want to know who you are.
Nobody. I'm nobody.
In fact, I think that I
have documentation somewhere
that-that proves that
I'm an official nobody.
Wow. You are extremely ripped, sir.
You hit me very well outside the club.
Try that again.
Okay, let's do this. Let's do this.
Shh. Freaking flash. Come on!
If you could just give me one second.
(grunting)
You're going to tell me everything,
Mr. Bartowski.
All the secrets you know.
Who you are, who you work for.
And then, you're going to
tell me about the girl.
(keys jangling, door closing)
SARAH: For now,
you should go to Prague,
and then meet me at the
Nadrazi train station
in three weeks' time at 7:00,
and then we can figure the rest out
later.
* *
Here is your ticket and your new passport.
Your name is Hector Caldaron.
Sarah, wait. We have plenty of time to talk
on the train. Right now we have to act fast.
Trust me, Chuck.
It's all going to work out fine.
That's not the kiss that I was expecting.
Sarah, there is an entire facility here
dedicated and designed to
turning me into Intersect 2.0.
I mean, think about it.
Think about that.
Me, a real spy, you know,
living a life of adventure,
and doing things that really matter.
It's not that simple.
You don't know who you're working for.
It's complicated. Nothing is real.
This...
This is simple.
This is a real life.
(bells clanging)
We have to go, Chuck. This is it.
Are you coming?
* *
I can't.
I'm sorr
I'm sorry.
CASEY: Any sign of Walker?
MAN: Last ping had her
at the Buy More.
You gotta be kidding me.
I want a real-time satellite
trace on every car
that's been in the Buy More parking lot
in the last six hours. Do it.
Get the chopper read Sir,
on whose authority?
Mine.
The Colonel.
Come on, Chuck. You can do this.
Just one flash of kung fu
and we are out of here.
(panting)
I'm dead.
I'm so completely dead.
What am I going to do?
SARAH: Chuck. Chuck,
can you hear me?
Sarah?
I need you to break out of
your cell and come and get me.
I couldn't pick this stupid lock!
There's no way
Chuck. that we could reverse
those roles, is there?
You can do this.
You've been trained to do this.
The Intersect can do this.
Sarah, you don't get it.
You and Casey were right, okay.
I'm-I'm a lemon.
I don't work.
My emotions just mess everything up.
No.
Chuck, listen, I was mad...
and wrong.
And ever since you went to Prague,
I have worked with the
best spies in the world.
And you know what?
They're on their way here to save us?
None of them can do what you can do.
You're a spy.
Now flash on Javier and get us out of here.
(rattling)
Something's happening here, Sarah.
Chuck.
Don't freak out.
(door opens)
When I'm done with you,
I'm going to deal with her.
The girl.
Me first.
(groans)
Chuck?
What happened?
(panting)
Something... awesome!
Thank you.
Let's go. No. Hey, you should've seen it.
I knocked him out with one punch.
One punch. That's great. Let's talk and run.
CHUCK: Where are we?
Chuck, I'm almost out. We need to get off
this roof.
What are you doing?
Zip line.
It'll work. I promise.
Okay. I trust you.
Hold on tight.
I...
I can't believe that worked!
I'm not so sure it did.
(pting)
Sarah... there's something
I need to tell you.
Not now, Chuck.
(panting)
Actually, I think this
might be my last chance.
(helicopter approaching)
Oh, get down!
(rapid gunfire)
(laughing)
(groans)
Javier Cruz was a vital operative
for The Ring's Mexico Syndicate.
The device you picked up
is a custom smart phone for Ring operatives.
This is the first one we have ever captured.
Hey, good job, Team Bartowski.
General, Colonel Casey and I
will be departing for Lisbon tonight.
There's been chatter
that another Ring cell is operating there.
That won't be necessary.
Why not?
I can't believe I'm about to say this...
Say it.
I mean...
(clears throat):...please say it.
I'm putting Operation
Bartowski back into the field.
Yes!
Casey, Sarah,
you will work alongside Agent Bartowski
to bring down the Ring.
That is all.
(cheering)
This is great!
This is great. Come on, guys.
The three of us, the old gang,
back together again.
I cannot wait.
Hey, what's my new cover going to be?
'Cause I-I need a new job.
Can it be something exciting?
Race car driver?
Hmm?
It's gotta be something cool.
* *
Oh, wow.
I can't believe you got me
this job back so quickly.
Yeah, well, with no manager,
the paperwork was easy to push through.
So, Emmett really took a
Large Mart job in Anchorage?
. Well, good for him.
Oh, also, thanks for doing that extra favor.
What?
I speak of the bearded one.
MORGAN (singsongy): We're back!
Up high.
(grunting)
There he goes.
There he goes. He's busy.
Work, work, work, that guy.
Are you ready for this?
Someone from corporate called me
and pretty much begged
me to take my job back.
Did they? I'm serious.
I guess they know talent.
They do indeed, my friend. (chuckles)
Sarah, I need you
to keep Chuck's emotions in
check so the Intersect can work.
He listens to you,
but halso an unstable element.
Do you think he's dangerous?
Very, but he's worth the risk.
For the last two years,
we protected Chuck from the world.
But, now, we have to protect
the world from Chuck.
CAPTAIN: Hey, do we really
need all this stuff?
Oh, hey, guys.
Hey, Devon.
Hey, El. What's happening?
Uh, well, we're moving.
Yeah, the, uh, the apartment
across the courtyard opened up. So,
we're taking it.
We needed a place for two
and you can get a roommate.
You know? You have plenty of friends.
I'm so happy right now.
Other friends, Chuck.
Other friends.
Uh... listen to me, listen to me. Two words.
Bachelor pad.
Yes!
I got dibs on Ellie's room.
Okay.
Chuck.
We should talk.
Absolutely.
(sighs)
I'll go first. I'll go first. Sure.
(clears throat)
Sarah, they wanted me to be a spy, okay.
They told me
that I could make a difference.
For years, I been... I been kicking around
not knowing what I wanted to do with my life
like a... like a loser.
that they thoughtreally I
could change the world.
Me. Chuck Bartowski.
It was never about you...
Stop.
(sighs)
I acted impulsively.
And it's a mistake I don't usually make.
And it won't happen again.
But, Sarah...
You're a spy now, Chuck.
You have to keep your feelings to yourself.
(door opens)
Numbnuts.
Ready?
Ready for what?
Your training. Come on.
(groans)
* *
You have much to learn, grasshopper.
Have you flashed yet?
Take a breath.
Let's do this.