Chuck (2007–2012): Season 2, Episode 21 - Chuck Versus the Colonel - full transcript

Casey is ordered to pursue Chuck and Sarah, who have gone rogue in order to rescue Chuck's father. Morgan's screw-up makes him Public Enemy #1 among the Buy Morons.

CHUCK:
Hey, I'm Chuck.

Here's a couple of things you might need
to know or maybe you forgot.

-I'm not who you think I am.
-You're Orion.

Father invented the Intersect.

No hug for your old partner?
I've been looking for you for a long time.

Put him on the helicopter. Kill his son.

I overhead them say that they're moving
your father to Black Rock.

Black Rock is a code name
for a secret Fulcrum base in Barstow.

I'm shutting down this project.
Chuck's going into lockdown.

Operation Moron is over.

They're gonna take you underground.
We have to run. Your dad is still out there.



You're committing treason, Sarah.
You could go to jail.

I know.

CHUCK: According to the coordinates,
this should be Black Rock.

Well, it doesn't exactly look like
a Fulcrum compound, does it?

SARAH: Your flash was wrong.
-They had to have just moved my father.

These beer cans are fresh.
There's still ash on the cigarette butts.

SARAH: Could have been kids having a party.
-Great.

-We gotta go back and start all over again.
-We're AWOL. It's why we ditched the car.

If Casey finds us, I go to jail, you go
to a padded cell with 24-hour surveillance.

There is no going back.

STEPHEN:
Don't give up, Charles.

ROARK:
Cute couple.

If anything happens to them--

ROARK:
What are you gonna do?



You gonna kill me?

You gonna beat me to a pulp?

You can come up
with something more creative.

No, you--

You had it right. I'll kill you.

ROARK: Oh, forgot about that. I'm sorry.
I'll tell you what.

As long as the new Intersect is operational
by tomorrow night, your son will be fine.

Hold on, there's still a ton
of diagnostics to run, simulations--

I can't guarantee I can finish it by then.

Well, then I can't guarantee
your son's safety.

BECKMAN: The safety of the Intersect
is no longer my main concern.

I want you to hunt Agent Walker
and the asset down.

-Bring them back dead or alive.
-Understood, general.

Once the Intersect is in our possession...

...you will have your pick
of assignments.

Your country thanks you, Colonel Casey.

Congratulations, you've earned it.

You've got it.

DEVON:
Hey, John.

What are you doing here, bro?

I-- Chuck hasn't been showing up. I was
looking for some clues where he might be.

-Hi, John.
-Hi.

Chuck? I heard from him.

-He just called?
-He left a voicemail. Not five minutes ago.

Our wedding is this weekend,
and he decided to go out of town.

Well, good. Glad to hear he's safe.

Sorry, nervous Nellie, I guess.

Have a nice day.

Babe, we've got to get a lock
for that window.

I need satellite
tracking an unregistered line...

...dialed the following number
5 minutes ago.

So as you can see, just the one bed.

Presumptuous. Should I have asked
for separate rooms?

No, it's fine. As long as we're on the lam,
I can't let you out of my sight.

I'm gonna take a shower.

I'm gonna assume that whole out-of-sight
thing doesn't really apply right now.

Right.

VINCENT:
I'm at the motel a mile south of the base.

They just checked in.
You want me to kill them?

No. No, Vincent.

I may need them for leverage.

When the tests are complete...

...feel free to use whatever despicable acts
of violence that are in your nature.

You could eat them. I don't care.

I'll sleep on the floor.

No, it's okay.

Why are you doing this?

Because the floor is gross
and I'm not gonna make you sleep on it.

No, I mean, why are you here?

Risking everything
that you've worked so hard for.

Because after everything
that you've done for this country...

...you deserve to find your father...

...to get the Intersect out of your head,
and to have a chance at a normal life.

-Thank you.
-You don't have to thank me.

It's my job to protect you.

What about when it's not your job?

What happens to us then?

One mission at a time, Chuck.

COMPUTER:
Telecom tracking complete.

Location verified.

Gotcha.

EMMETT:
Friends.

[CHUCKLES]

I wish people in our line of work
could afford friends.

But that's just one of the sacrifices
of upper management.

[LAUGHS]

Big Mike is my friend...

...and I never would have betrayed him
if you hadn't tricked me.

Really?

Do all your friends give your mother
urinary tract infections?

Listen, Grimes, I am offering you a cup up
the corporate ladder.

-Dude.
-Now, I need a new assistant manager.

Will you be my ass man?

Are you kidding me?

No, never.

And as far as friends go, I have Chuck.
That's all I need.

Don't move.

-Don't move.
-Okay.

Don't breathe. Don't move.

Don't breathe. Don't move.

Stay there. Stay there. Stay. Stay.

I'm gonna kill you, Morgan.

JEFF:
Dead man walking.

-What do you want, Morgan?
-I wanna speak to Michael.

I wanna clear the air.

MIKE:
Come closer.

Mike, I know that this whole thing
is my fault.

I never knew Emmett
was trying to take over the store.

Truth is, I just wanted you
to stop dating my mother.

You should be so lucky that a man
of his stature would defile your mother.

-Sorry.
-Never take sides against the family again.

Understood.
What can I do to make it right?

I'll do anything...

...Stepfather.

EMMETT [ON PA]: Michael, there's a mess
that needs cleaning in Bathroom Stall 3.

MORGAN:
No, let me do it.

Sir, I'll handle this.

We all have to clean up our own messes
in this world, son.

This can stop any time you want.

All you have to do is accept my offer.

Yeah, okay, Emmett.

Okay, don't move.
I'm gonna be right back.

I have very sensitive sinuses.

Well, 9 mm of hot lead
should clear that right out.

Did you think you could run away from me?
Let's go.

CHUCK:
Wait.

Look, Sarah had nothing to do with this.
What's gonna happen to her?

Sir...

...we have an issue.

I told her not to move.

[SHOWER RUNNING]

SARAH: Chuck, let's go.
-Sorry, Casey.

Oh, God.

Fulcrum is here. We can't leave Casey.
They'll find him and torture him.

Don't you get it?
We go back, he'll arrest us.

Yes, I know. But we can't leave him.

Okay, fine.
One condition. You stay in the car.

Deal.

Going somewhere, Bartowski?

No. No. We came back here for you
because Fulcrum's here.

-We better get out.
-I'm not leaving without Sarah.

You drive or I end you.

End me? Oh, yeah, how?
You don't have a gun.

You think I can't kill you
with my thumb or my elbow?

-Nerd bludgeoned by radiator.
-You can't kill me with that.

It is far too confined in this car
for you to get the torque.

-Strangle you with my handcuff chain.
-Yeah, yeah, you could probably do that.

Too late. They got her. Let's go.

I told you. I'm not leaving without Sarah.

CASEY:
Bartowski, no.

MAN:
Oh, God.

Stay down.

CASEY:
Hey.

CASEY:
Drop it.

Can't do that, John.

Guys. Guys, guys, guys.

Let's just take a beat here.
Remember, we are a team.

BOTH:
Stay in the car.

Technically, I still have one foot
in the car.

-How far do you think you're gonna get?
-Until we rescue Chuck's dad.

[GUN CLICKS]

CASEY:
Uh-oh. Walker.

You're out of ammo.

It's over.

On the ground.

[COUGHING]

You two mind taking that outside?
We're in a bomb shelter.

[BEEPING]

I'm sorry, Sarah.

You didn't do anything wrong, Chuck.

You trusted somebody
who you thought cared about you.

Look outside, Chuck.

Look out the window.

Tron. Tron. Tron. Did you see that?
My father signaled me.

What? Did you just flash?

A midnight screening of Tron?
My father wrote that.

Casey, come on. Please, we gotta go
back there. My father's there.

Casey, please.

I don't care.

Hey, guys. Something weird is going on.

Have you seen Chuck?
He didn't come home last night.

-Casey came by, he was worried about him.
-Casey. Yeah.

I'm sure.
Can't live without his precious Chuck.

What's that supposed to mean?

The guy's obsessed with him.
A classic perv. No offense.

Obsessed how?

You wanna see something really freaky?

Dude keeps a Chuck diary.

Bathroom visits and duration.

-Keys, duct tape, high-grade chloroform.
-Whoa.

From one stalker to another,
I'm impressed.

You guys think this has something to do
with Chuck missing?

-I don't care.
-No clue.

You mind if...

...I get right?

[INHALES]

Casey, please.

-Excellent work.
-Thank you, general.

A CIA team is on their way to take
Agent Walker and the asset to Langley.

What about my father?

Chuck received a signal from his father.
There's a mission at the Drive-In.

We'll look into it, Miss Walker.

In the meantime, enjoy your last few
moments in Burbank, Colonel Casey.

Colonel Casey, huh?

Now I get it.

I understand why you would betray
your own team.

I would never betray my team.

You went AWOL.

You betrayed me.

Don't you ever forget that.

So sorry, colonel.

Congratulations on that chicken franchise
you always wanted.

Oh, yeah, keep talking, Bartowski.

Stay on Beckman.
It might be too late by midnight.

Just make sure we don't give up
on Chuck's father.

If your Dad's there...

...we'll keep him safe.

You have my word.

John?

Bingo.

Hello?

It's your neighbor, Devon Woodcomb.

Door was unlocked.

This is creepy.

Is that Chuck's bedroom?

Freakburger.

[ALARM RINGING]

Whoa.

[BEEPING]

I hate this whole family.

EMMETT [ON RADIO]:
Boss man calling. Ass man.

-Yes, Emmett.
-Radio check.

The automated checkout registers
have arrived.

-Have Mike go and unload them.
-Hold on.

-No, you said that if I agreed--
-Into the headset. Into the headset.

You said that if I agreed
to be your ass man...

...you wouldn't make Mike
do humiliating jobs...

...and you wouldn't fire him.

Get it done.

Good luck using automated
checkout machines with no power.

-Where'd you get that?
-Locker.

Morgan's really turned
into Emmett's stooge.

This will show them
who's really in charge.

We did it.

That way. That way.

Look, for whatever it's worth...

...if I have to spend the rest of my days
in a dark, windowless room...

...I can't think of a better person
to spend it with.

It's not really how this works.

What? We can't request a cozy,
little, two-bed, two-bath cell?

Two-bed?

COMPUTER:
Electrical interruption.

Auxiliary power activated.

Oh, my God.
Quick, before the power turns back on.

-Is that Awesome?
-Oh, no.

EMMETT:
Ass man!

We are under siege!

Shoot to kill!

Wow, hey there, Emmett.

EMMETT: It is a good thing I installed
those emergency generators.

-That was awesome.
-Good work.

-Fire them.
-Move. Move.

I saw you on the security cam!

Okay, stay calm.

[ALARM RINGING]

Hey, Devon.

Hey, John.

How you doing?

[BEEPING]

What are you doing here?

Look, John, we need to talk.

I get it, dude.

You know, there was a time in my life
that I didn't have a lot going on either.

Dead-end job, no girl.

-Really?
-Well, no, John.

No. But this is not the answer, okay?

You need help, bro.
You need serious psychiatric help.

John? Whoa, John,
what are you doing, man?

Put the gun away, dude.

Bro, take another step
and I will drop you.

[BEEPING]

Not bad for a frat boy.

-Don't you move.
-What the--?

Sarah?

Chuck?

What the hell is going on here?

Devon...

...don't freak out.

DEVON: Chuck. Chuck, this is crazy.
We've gotta call the police.

-Devon, we can't do that. Here, drink this.
-He tried to kill me.

-Why can't we call the cops?
-I am the cops.

Chuck.

Moron.

I am a CIA asset, these are my handlers.

They've had to watch
and protect my every move.

Chuck, no.

He can handle it. You can handle this, right?
Tell me you can handle this.

You're being serious?

-He's being serious?
-Devon, I need you to help me.

I need you to be cool about this.

I need you to cover for me, with Ellie.

I need you...

...to be Awesome.

Can you be Awesome?

You're a spy, Chuck?

Yeah, more or less, yeah.

Wow.

This is...

...awesome.

[DEVON LAUGHS]

I knew you weren't a loser
who worked at the Buy More.

Loser's-- That's a little harsh.

Okay, here. Here's the thing.
The Buy More actually is real.

Here's the most important thing.
Do this for me now.

I need you to go home and handle Ellie.

That is your mission.

Can you do that?

I got your back, bro.

-Right. Right.
-Yeah.

-Spy.
-Keep that on the DL.

Impersonating a military official
is a federal offense, numnuts.

-Put it on the list.
-Don't you leave me here.

SARAH: Come on, we gotta go.
-You walk out that door, you're a dead man.

I don't care.

You will care.

I smell bacon.

Anyone else smell pig?

I detect the faint odor
of the forbidden meat.

Knock it off. Listen, you need to apologize
to Emmett for blowing the power.

-Otherwise, he's going to can you.
-Nice try.

Get us to apologize
so we look like asses.

Lose all our street cred.

You'll have to accept one concept.

What's that?

No one on this planet
is as dumb as you are.

-I'm trying to help you guys.
-Are you?

Why are you taking this crap
from everyone?

What choice do I have?
Emmett is trying to fire the store.

-I am the glue that holds it all together.
-Why do you care if it holds together?

-What do you mean?
-Don't you have some goal in this world...

...outside the store? Even Jeff and Lester
have their ridiculous band.

-Don't you have a dream, Morgan?
-Yeah, of course I do.

-It's just--
-What?

It's crazy and you'll laugh at me.

No, no, no, I promise, I won't laugh.

Promise?

[SIGHS]

I'd like to be a Benihana chef...

...in Hawaii.

[LAUGHING]

-I know. It's stupid.
-No, no, no, Morgan.

No, no, it's not stupid.

It's totally attainable.

No, it's not, Anna.
You have to train for, like, years, okay?

I'm way past my prime, I am not Asian and
I don't even know where to get the knives.

EMMETT [ON RADIO]:
Ass man, I need you.

Yeah, ass man on his way.

Excuse me.

[GRUNTING]

-Agent Casey.
-General.

We ran a thermal satellite scan
of the coordinates and activity was present.

Fulcrum has moved
their operation underground.

Bartowski was right.
We sending in a team to rescue his father?

We don't have time for that. I've ordered
a squadron of F-16s to annihilate the site.

-But I gave my word.
-I have not come to this decision lightly.

We have no other choice.

DEVON:
Chuck's a spy.

Stay cool.

Stay cool.

There you are. Did you learn anything
about Chuck at the Buy More?

Chuck. He's supposed to pick up
your parents at the airport.

Honey, why are you just looking at me
like that?

It's a simple question.
Have you talked to Chuck?

Yeah. I mean, no.

I mean--

Well, he's fine, yeah.

So you spoke to him?

No, definitely not.

[LAUGHS]

Someone else spoke to him? Casey?

-No? Sarah?
-Who?

Oh, no. Oh, honey, no, no, no.
I need you to focus, okay?

No wedding day jitters.
We've got company coming any moment.

My father and my brother are MIA.
So I just need you to pull it together.

Can you do that?
Can you be Awesome for me?

-Yeah.
-Yes? Good.

No, no, no. You focus.

Focus. I need your A game.

-What? No gun for me?
-No.

-You stay in the car.
-The whole stay in the car bit?

Aren't we past this? I'm perfectly capable
of handling myself on a mission.

You were saying, Agent Imbecile?

-Drop it, Walker.
-You drop it.

I've come this far.
If he'll stop me, he'll have to kill me.

Beckman called in an air strike.
It'll be here in 20 minutes.

What? Casey, my father is here.
You said you would rescue him.

You gave me your word.

I thought that meant something.
I guess I have a lot to learn.

Yeah, that's right. You do.
You made three crucial mistakes.

You didn't realize
you were being trailed...

...you didn't bring nearly
enough firepower...

...and you didn't ask me to join.

Casey...

...would you like to help us
rescue my father?

Your father has served our country and
deserves to attend his daughter's wedding.

-Is that a yes?
-One condition. He stays in the car.

-Agreed.
CHUCK: Done.

Hey. Hey, the team's back together again.
Group hug.

-One more step, it'll be your last. No hugs.
-In the car I go.

Aces, Charles.

Aces.

How's my favorite underachieving,
reclusive, kidnapped scientist?

It's done.

-There's your Intersect.
-You're a dream.

STEPHEN:
There is...

...one request.

Anything that won't inconvenience me
is fine. I don't care.

Leave my family alone.

-I'm not invited to the wedding?
-How did you know--?

I'm involved in a major conglomerate
of bad guys.

Few details escape me.

Steve, if this works,
you have nothing to worry about.

A little tart in here.

I'll send down some air freshener.

Definitely staying in the car.

CASEY:
I had no idea Tron was so popular.

Hey. Hey.

[BEEPING]

Yeah. Yeah. Go. Go.

ROARK:
Welcome.

I see you all found your way.

Directions were good.

You've all been carefully selected
by Fulcrum...

...to be the next generation
of Intersect agents.

More capable than any computer,
more efficient than any spy in history.

Welcome to the future. Can you dig it?

[HORNS HONKING]

Whoa, that's not the response
I was hoping for.

Can you dig it?

[ALL CHEERING & HORN HONKING]

ROARK:
Yes.

Oh, God.

He's using the Intersect to build an army.

Can you dig it?

[ALL CHEERING & HORN HONKING]

COMPUTER:
The program will begin in three minutes.

Three minutes.

You fellas have a cigar for me?

I thought you hated smoke?

I figure if I'm gonna die, I might as well see
what all the fuss is about, huh?

Keys.

CASEY:
There's an air strike headed this way.

PILOT: Three minutes to target,
General Beckman.

Prepping weapons systems.

"Gone to stop Roark. Be back in 5.

Chuck."

I'm gonna kill him.

Don't worry, Agent Casey,
we'll take care of that.

The prodigal son returns.

Thank you for saving me the trouble
of hunting you down.

My pleasure.

CASEY: Oh, wait.
-Oh, great.

The gang's all here.

It's only fair that a son should see
the results of his father's labor.

Of course, if this doesn't work...

...I'm afraid I have to go back to that bit
where I kill everybody.

-What if it does work?
-If it does work?

Same result, but, you know,
you should root for it.

I mean, nobody likes a cynic.

Let's get right to the countdown,
shall we?

Five, four...

...three-- I'm excited, huh?

Two, one.

CHUCK:
Casey, Sarah, shut your eyes.

Keep them closed.

[WHISPERING]
Chuck, look. Look at the screen.

No, Dad, I don't want a refresh, okay?
I just want this nightmare to be over.

I know. That's why I made this for you.

It's all for you.

Trust me, son.

Wow.

Oh, what a rush.

What a rush.

I gotta flash.

I gotta flash.

I'm not flashing.

I'm not flashing. It's not working.

There must be some glitch.
I'll take it back to the lab.

No more labs! A deal is a deal!

Your son is dead. Get him up.

[RUMBLING]

What the hell is that?

CASEY: I got Chuck, let's get out of here.
Come on.

Here.

Chuck, are you okay?

I feel--

I feel different.

Lighter.

It worked.

-What worked?
-This.

I programmed it to remove the Intersect
from Chuck's head.

What do you mean, remove?

The Intersect is out.

It's over, Chuck.

You're free, son.

Colonel Casey, am I to understand
that you rescued Mr. Bartowski...

...recovered the Intersect Cube
and destroyed Fulcrum's operation base?

That's correct.

Perhaps I should be promoting you
to general.

Actually, Agent Walker's the one
responsible for the success of the mission.

She pretended to go AWOL,
used herself and the asset as bait...

...to lure Fulcrum out,
to secure their location.

She risked her life
to preserve the mission.

If anyone deserves a commendation,
it's Walker.

-Actually, general, I never--
-Never thought she could be so cold.

I mean, I didn't, certainly.
She used me as bait, like Casey just said.

I was treated terribly.

I mean, she cuffed me, I got chafing
on my wrists, I was malnourished.

It was...

...horrific.

Ah!

Well, then, Colonel Casey,
now that the Intersect Project is over...

...I assume you want
to return to command your old unit.

I'm sorry, general, I just want to make sure
I didn't misinterpret anything.

Did you just say "over"?

That's correct.

We have the Intersect Cube,
Fulcrum is defeated, your mission complete.

Mr. Bartowski, you are free to return...

...to whatever it is you do.

General, I'd just like to say...

...that although I know
we've had our share of ups and downs...

...this has been an incredible...

...dare I say life-changing experience.

You don't feel quite as strongly about.
I get it, you're busy.

Government. It's a little rude.

Why are the Brothers Imbecile
still working here?

Could we just give them
one more chance, please?

You know what, Grimes?

I'm gonna ask you
a very important question.

And I want you to think very long
and hard about it.

Do you wanna be a loser
the rest of your life?

That's an excellent question, Emmett.

If you would have asked me that this
morning, I probably would have said yes.

Now I'm not so sure.

Then do what needs to be done.

Yes, sir.

Big Mike, in the old country,
if a man did the honorable thing...

...and fell on his sword,
his family was looked after.

That was a good break.

A real nice deal.

Yeah.

-Will you look after my mother?
-I will.

Gentleman, it's been a pleasure
serving with you.

If you retell the story, do me a favor
and give me a better physique.

What are you doing?

Morgan out.

Anna Wu...

...will you come to Hawaii with me,
where I will learn the ancient art of hibachi?

Morgan, I thought you'd never ask.

MORGAN:
Okay.

This is great.

-Oh, hold on a second. Hold on.
-Okay.

Hey. Hey. Hey.

-Little hot in here, buddy?
-It's a bit chilly, you know, but worth it.

-Is everything okay?
-Yeah. No, dude, actually...

...for the first time, everything is fine.

It's all over.

God, I admire him.

JEFF:
You're free, Morgan.

You're free.

DEVON:
Babe, we are late.

We have to go.

I can't.

Honey, we have a whole rehearsal
dinner full of people waiting for us.

I knew that my Dad would disappoint me
but I just didn't think that Chuck would.

I don't know, it must be in the DNA.

Ellie...

...I know it's difficult without Chuck.

But he wants to be here.

I know he does.

Your Dad leaving shook him up
pretty bad.

Ellie, he'll be back.

Trust me.

He loves you.

So do I.

Chuck, where have you been?

I was getting your wedding present.

Dad.

Hi.

Are you staying?

I'm not going anywhere.

I got your back, bro.

Hey.

I was wondering if you wanted to come
to my sister's rehearsal dinner.

The Intersect's out, Bartowski.

-You don't need my help anymore.
-I'm not asking you as the asset.

I'm asking you as a friend.

Okay, well, I tried.

Open bar, I hope.

I'll go warm up the vic.

-Hi.
-Hi.

You look amazing.

Thank you.

-Very dapper.
-Thank you.

So how does it feel?

It feels great, actually.

Like everything is finally real.

It is real.

Where you headed?

Burbank.

Got a wedding to go to.

[ENGLISH SDH]