Chuck (2007–2012): Season 1, Episode 7 - Chuck Versus the Alma Mater - full transcript

He-he sent...
He sent me an e-mail.

Bryce sent me a whole dabase of government secrets.

That are now locked in my brain, keeping me in a constant state of fear, danger and anxiety.

Bryce larkin.

Dude pretended to be his buddy, sexed up his girl, and then got him kicked out of stanford.

??????

Stanford was five years ago.
You need to move on.

It's our subconscious mind that we're going to be talking about today.

How can we penetrate the human mind?

How can we understand it?

How many images do you see?



- Students: five.
- Ten.

There are hundreds of images compressed inside this picture.

The encoding is special.

You only remember that one.

Your subconscious, though, saw them all.

We'll see how you do on the final exam.

I include a section on subliminal image recognition, where you'll...

Thank you.We'll, uh,
we'll end early today.

Class dismissed.

Professor, how can we isolate...

This is glass castle, reporting hostile contact.

I made a mistake, black coat.

I coed intel for myself onto a disc.

They're after it.
I know i shouldn't have.



Morgan: chuck, we have an emergency.

We need to talk.

I'm on the phone.

Not here, not here.
There are spies at the buy more.

Spies?
Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tang's minions, man.

They're everywhere.

He's like the dark lord sauron, from lord of the rings, only instead of the ring of power,

He's taken over control of the assistant managership.

Yeah.
From me.

Right.
Thanks for the reminder.

Got it, man.
Listen, we need your help, chuck.

Help?
What am i supposed to do?

I'm, i'm just...
Just one...

Small hobbit?

So thought frodo baggins, my friend.

So thought frodo baggins.

"rules and regulations for the buy more break room.

From the desk of harry tang"?

He doesn't even have a desk.

This is an affront to human decency.

"no swearing, no expectorating, no fornicating.

" wait, people been getting freaky in the break room?

No.
No.

But i liked to know that i had the option.

Okay, so it's a little strict.

It's torture...
Man.

The no-drug policy includes red bull.

Oh, ouch.

I remember the last time you tried to detox.

How am i supposed to move electronics with the sweaty shakes?

I'm sorry, fellows, but is this the talk more?

No, sir, it's the buy more.

So why don't you get back to helping these nice
customers buy more eleronics, mr.Grimes?

I'm sorry, t is harry wearing a new assistant manager polo shirt?

It's monogrammed.

He must be stopped.

That new hi-def screen sure shows every wrinkle.

They can hear you.

What?
Twinkle.

Every twinkle...

In her eye.

Eyes.

We have a situation.

A cia asset has gone missing.

We've had no communication from him for two days.

No way.

What, did you flash?

No.I don't have to.

That guy was my professor at stanford.

Wait.Asset?He's cia?
My professor was a spy?

The cia recruits on campuses across the country.

Pressor fleming is a company scientist, not an operative.

This is our last communication from him.

This is glass castle reporting hostile contact.

I made a mistake, black coat.

I copied intel for myself onto a disc.

They're after it.
I know i shouldn't have.

Do we know what intel he copied?

Beckman: we don't.

He's handled many sensitive projects for us over the years.

Any leak could prove devastating.

How can wehelp?

Fleming has contacts in la.

????

We'd like your help on this, chuck.

Look, i-i-i really don't think i'm you're go-to guy on this one.

Your knowledge of fleming and stanford is key here.

We only have his official reports.
You have a rsonal connection.

Yeah, i do have a personal connection, a very bad personal connection.

Look, you guys have the file, okay?

You know all about fleming and what happened to me.

The guy kicked me out of school.

Chuck, professor fleming is one of us.

Maybe you can find somebody else to help you this time.

Maybe just this once.

* who invented the, uh, ucla brain trust?

Those are devon's fraternity brothers.

We are actually all caravanning up to stanford for the ucla game this weekend.

Hey, chuck!
Go deep, brah.

Right in the pills.

Don't touch...Please-please don't...
Please don't touch me.

Chuck.
Come on, man.

Let me make it up to you, bro.
Get up.

I got you a ticket for the game.

Thanks.

But, uh...

Sarah and i already have plans.

It's your alma mater, dude.

Look, no offense, but i'd rather get hit in the produce section again

than go back to that Place.

Suit yourself.

Let's go.
Game on, boys.

Where's the ball?

Uh, listen...

I know that stanford doesn't hold a lot of good memories for you...

Look, ellie.
Ellie.

They kicked me out for something i didn't do.

Okay?
So that's it.

Me and stanford...

We're officially done.

stanford university

stanford university

It sucks you have to leave, chuck.

I don't get it, bryce.

Why are you doing this?

You did this to yourself.

* what?

I just flashed on myself.

Why am i in the intersect?

sync:??

Chuck.S01E07

So you don't know why i'm in the intersect.

Well, you didn't appear on the nsa radar until afterbryce sent you the intersect.

- Same withthe cia
- why don't i find that reassuring?

So the files that you saw were of you in college, right?

Yes.
Yes.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

What about professor fleming?

I was in his class.
He was cia.

Could that be it?

Well, if we can find fleming, maybe he can give us some answers.

Okay.

Let's do that.

Sarah: it won't be easy.

New intel suggests the professor is being hunted.

The nsa interviewed one witness in fleming's class who id'd a magnus einersson.

He's an icelandic spy.

Chuck: i'm sorry.
Iceland does espionage?

Magnus buys and sells intel to the highest bidder.

Iceland isn't officially aware of his activities.

Sarah: it says here the crossbow is his weapon of choice.

Chuck: what, slingshots too ineffective?

Hey, buddy, where you going?

What's up?
My lunch break is over.

You haven't seen?

Seen what?

New staggered lunch schedule.

Dude.

Single shifts.

No more fraternization in the break room.

We can't en eat lunch together anymore.

No more wednesday-friday surf and turf?

Harry tang is drunk with power.

Anna: he could have an accident.

I'm just saying.
I know a guy, very reasonable.

His rates, i mean...

Not him.

Way to think outsideof the box, anna.
Me likey.

What do you say, chuck?

Are you two crazy?
What?

No, i'm not gonna have a guy rubbed out just because he upsets our lunch routine.

I see.

So you've already thrown in the towel.

Cool.

Not me, chuck.

I'm not getting pushed around anymore.
No way.

I hope you were aiming for the recycling bin, grimes,

now that i'm instituting a new buy more Green program.x

Tree-hugging is all the rage these days.

I plan on exploiting the burgeoning conscience of the american consumer.

Well, that's very inspiring, harry.

I'm gonna be the one who breaks you, grimes.

You know why?

Because you're soft...

Like pudding.

I've been doing all these crunches, man.

I know, buddy.

You didn't offer to kill harry for anna, did you?

No.

Why?
You want me to kill him?

No.

No, just curious.

We just got a hit off a traffic camera in hollywood.

That's fleming.

Thanks.
You just saved me a lot of investigative work there, intersect.

Dmv told me that.

Wow, sarcasm.
What a surprise.

We located the car fleming was driving.

A local address.
We're bringing him in asap.

So what do you need me for?

Yours is a friendly face.

Your professor sees you there, he'll be more inclined to cooperate.
Copy?

Yeah, except that i wasn't exactly the professor's star pupil.

We leave in three.

Fleming: as you're aware, you scored perfectly on your midterm exam.

Yeah, well, i was up all night studying.

It was a monster.

No offense.

You even aced the last section-- encoded images.

That, yeah, those were just kind of a shot in the dark.

You may be aware, i keep an answer key to every exam locked inside this office.

- No, no, i wasn't aware of that
- really?

Then how do you explain the midterm answer key being found in your fraternity room?

I'm-i'm sorry.
Wha...

You searched my room?

We received a tip from a student this morning.

What, you...

You got a tip about my room?

I need to know how you broke into this office and stole the answers, chuck.

I...

I didn't steal anything.

I don't have to.

I'm acing your class.

Exactly.

The student also claimed that you're selling copies.

What?

I know you're a scholarship student, and that stanford is a very expensive school...

Look, look, who-whoever gave you your tip...

Was lying.

Our source was bryce larkin, your roommate.

All right.

We all know the game.

We all know the rules.

This is "fingers of fury.

" the win goes to the contestant who can identify the most tv shows in a minute, all right?

Who do you want next?

I challenge...

The ruling champion, morgan grimes.

That's mr.Morgan grimes if you're nasty.

Really.

Ooh, the suspense.

You don't want me, punk.

Oh, yes, i do.

Challenge accepted.

Bang!

On my mark!

Three...

Two...

One!

Mark!

-dukes of hazzard.
- One tree hill.

- Veronica mars.
- Gilmore girls.

- Cold case.
- Animaniacs.

- ???
- Smallville.

- O.C., season 2.
- Underrated.

Kung fu: the movie.

Night court.
Night court.

Um, they're not changing.

Anna, the channels are not changing.

Tang: it is now mine.

The one remote that controls them all.

The master remote.

Your slacking days are over.

Tang, there aren't even any customers.

Three repair orders just came in, which you nerds would know if you were at your stations.

And grimes, since there aren't any more customers,

i need a cleanup in the diaper-changing Station.

Wear a mask.

We'll extract the professor as quickly as possible.

You'll keep watch?

If i flash on any bad guys, i'll call.

Sarah: everything looks quiet, but...

I know.
I know.

Stay in the car.

Okay, good.
????

Professor fleming?

Hey!

No, no, no, no, wait, professor!
It's me, chuck!

Professor, stop.
We're here to extract you!

Glass castle!
Glass castle!

I'm sorry, i didn't...

I didn't mean to scare you.

But it's...

It's chuck.

I wa...
I was in your...

Your psychology and symbolism class at stanford.

I don't know if you remember me, but...

Chuck bartowski.

Of course i remember you.

Yeah, i guess it's not every day you kick a guy out of school, huh?

At least i hope not.

So you're, uh, with the agency now.

Why didn't you say so?

I don't think i'm supposed to, really.

Well, we have code phrases.

Didn't they train you?

I-i mostly just stay in the car.

Next time, if it's a dangerous situation, say, "are you coming to the toga party?

" a real...
A real code phrase.

I like it.
That's awesome.

So, uh, so what are we doing now?

Who's-who's bringing me in?

Oh, right.
Yeah, so, uh, sarah and casey will...

Will do that, but, um...

I was wondering if i could ask you something first?

Why did the cia have a file on me at stanford?

I'm sorry.

Oh, hey, hey...

Hey, buddy, let's not beat ourselves up, you know.
The past is the past.

Okay, look, uh, we didn't really know each other that well at college,

and this is a little Awkward, what...

Oh, boy!
Oh, boy!

Hey, hey, hang in there.

Hang...
Ha in there!

Give this to bryce larkin.

Bryce?

Bryce larkin?

What does bryce have to do with this?

I'm nobody, i swear.

????

Man down!Man down!
Help me!help!

Hey, hey, come on!
come on!

I'm sorry, chuck, but we have to talk.

Okay.

So how was the hospital?

Is the professor going to be okay?

They putting him into surgery now.

The problem is, we can't talk to him to sort this mess out.

You sure it was magnus you saw?

Gee, i don't know, casey.

How many psycho archers do you know?

I asked fleming about stanford.

About why i was in the intersect.

I should've brought him right to you, i'm sorry.

Hey, it's not your fault, chuck.

Yeah, well, i keep thinking about what he said.

Why would he want me to bring those numbers to bryce?

Bryce must have been one of his cia contacts,

and fleming was probably never told of his Death.

List off the numbers you remember.

I don't know, there were, like ten of them.
A couple of nines, uh...

A five...
Definitely started with a two.

Casey: that's it?

You have a computer for a brain...

Look, it was a very stressful situation, okay, casey?

I watched a guy get skewered by a crossbow.

Look, fleming knew something.

Right before he fell, he said, "i'm sorry.

" why would he say that?

I don't know, chuck.

Yeah, well, i think he might know why i'm in the intersect.

You okay?

It's not too late for you to change your mind about revisiting the old alma mater.

Spending some time with me and devon...

Oh, please!

U just don't want to be stuck in a car alone with awesome's frat buddies.

Maybe, or maybe i'm your sister and i care abouyou and i think that going back to stanford

Would help you to move on.

I love you, sis, an-and i take a lot of bullets for you,

but five hours in a car with awesome
And his "brahs"?

That is asking too much.

Besides, if i came, you wouldn't have room for your fun, old foam finger!

- Stop it.
- What is this?

I don't know.
But look at what i found.

You see this?
It was in my old college stuff.

The decline and fall of t roman empire.

You want me to return it to the stanford library for you?

No.

Well, i'd kind of like to finish it.

Sehow it ends.

Chuck, that book is, like, four years overdue.

What do you think stanford's going to do, huh?

Expel me?

Bryce: you're a dead man, chuck bartowski.

stanford university

* all right!

Come on, bryce!

Give it up, buddy.

I know you're out of ammo.

I've been counting.

Buddy.

Whoa, whoa, oh.

You wouldn't fire at an unarmed guy.

I might.

It's hardly sportsmanlike.

What's this?

Gynecology for geeks.

You read this?

No.
Is it a good read?

Gotcha.

Larkin over bartowski again.

Chuck: i know what the numbers mean.

They're for a book in the stanford library.

Bryce had a place where he would stash stuff, right?

I bet he told fleming about it.

The professor must have the intel there for bryce to find.

Annow it's only a matter of time before magnus figures it out and beats us to the book.

Bingo.

Unless we can beat him to it.

Well, bryce kept his stuff on the third floor.

???

I'd have to be there to remember.

I can't believe i'm about to say this,

but i have to go back to stanford.

Cool.

stanford. university

?????????Out.

It's like nothing has changed.

Is that good or bad?

It's, uh, it's, uh, you know, yeah..
It's, yeah.

* whoo, go, bruins!

Put me down!

You ladies ready to rock?

Yeah, when you put it that way, maybe not.

Nice barbecue.

Uh, you want to meet us at the stadium?

I think we're probably gonna hang out here until the game starts.

Yeah, yeah, i'm gonna take sarah for the chk bartowski memorial tour.

So call me if any rabid stanford fans decide to put awesome in the hospital.

* plant a stanford tree.

Create a renewable resource for your children's future.

Oh, you want to save our environment?

Take a shower, hippie.

Nice job blending in with the crowd.

Who you rooting for, death?

Leave the quips to me.

The library's this way, across the quad.

What is it?

I don't know.

I mean, i figured this would be tough, but this placece i

s just a lot to take in, you know?

I used to have so much fun here, and then...

And then?

It was the worst day of my life...

Getting kicked out of here.

Having to hear ellie's voice when i told her i was coming home.

Packing up all my stu and leaving as bryce just stood there.

Said i brought it on myself.

Why do you think that bryce betrayed you?

I don't know.

He's had four years to call and set the record straight.

Now that he's gone...

You know what?
Forget it.

Bryce has betrayed a lot of people, hasn't he?

Roger that.

All right, we have to play this really cool.

Magnus has the library book number.

He could have beaten us here.

You think he's in there?

Look, maybe you should stay here.

Yeah, 'cause that always works out well.

Anyway, you can't find the book without me.

I'm going in.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You looking for this?

You stole my id?

I borrowed it to reactivate it.

Sorry i couldn't wipe the idiot grin off your face with photoshop.

We have a situation.

We have a situation here.

Harry tang is a control freak and his master remote is a symbol of that control.

It's his totem.

We steal the remote and we take control of the televisions in the store.

Rendering harry impotent.

That's totally curable, by the way.

Here's the thing.

He keeps the remote in his locker, does he not?

He does, but it's padlocked-- harry has the only key,

- so...
- I can get it.

Trust me, you do not want to know.

I-i do want to know.

I want to know.

You guys want to know?

You should make a judgment call.

* assistant manager tang?

I'm busy.

I'd like your opinn about how we could streamline

our standing work orders to operate more Efficiently.

That's a admirable goal, young lady.

You know, your new position of authority has changed you.

You look different.

Maybe it's the new monogrammed shirt.

Maybe it's just the cut of yr slacks.

I hope you plan to make other changes around the buy more.

In fact, i can't wait for your next massive...

Invasive...

Move.

Well, uh, for starters, i-i think that the staff sits around too far...

Far too often.

Okay.

There.
There, that row.x

Oh, no.

We're too late.

Magnus beat us here.
He's got the book.

Hold on.

Got ya.

Hold on a sec.

Got ya.

The intel.

The book number was just a way to mark the spot for the professor.

Okay, well, let's get out of re before magnus realizes that book he has is worthless.

Man: hey, you, don't move!

Charles bartowski...

You still owe the library $294.68 in late fees.

Do you...
Do you take credit cards?

This isn't funny.

Chuck, run.

Chuck, this way.

It's hard to hate stanford 'cause they suck so hard.

I wish we were playing sc today, huh?

There you are.

Man: hey, you, freeze!

????

Okay, we have to go.

I swear this school has it in for me.

Come on.

Jackpot, baby.

Looking for something, mr.Grimes?

Are you kidding me?
You betrayed us?

Nice try, pudding.

I'm not afraid of you, harry, okay?

You can't fire me.

No, but i can make you wish i did.

I need fresh bodies in the hole.

Come on, dude, not-not the hole.

Harry, just let's...

We're safe for now.

I need to see what's on this disk.

Hey, chuck, that is top secret.

Yeah, well, so am i, and there could be answers on this disk about why i'm in the intersect.

Sarah: that's testing data.

And videotaped interviews.
These are all just students.

Exactly.Students that were recruited into the cia by fleming.

Ten years worth.

It's all their current information.

No wonder magnus wanted it so badly.

Foreign governments pay a fortune for that.

Chuck: look at this right next to 2002-- bryce larkin.

Bryce joined the cia our junior year?

That's enough.

Now we know what he's after

no, wait, wait, wait! That's me.
That's me!I'm in here, too.

- Click it.
- Don't click it.x

I never applied with the cia.

Sarah: chuck, get down!

??????

???
Get me out of here!

Chuck, when i say go, run out the side door.

Protect the disk.

We'll cover you.

Go!

All right, computers.

Here we go.

Okay, okay.

Come on.

Excuse me.

Hello?

Hi.
Hi.

Uh, is this...

Is this glenda mitchell?

We're in the science building lecture hall.

It's an emergency.
Bring lots of big guns.

I'm sorry.

Whoever this is, you've got the wrong number.

Crap, there's a code phrase.

Are you coming to the toga party?

There's a place you can plant it in the quad.

Let me give you the directions.

Listen we have a situation right now.

Bring any ammunition and-or equipment you might have for killing bad guys.

- Are you coming to the toga party?
- ?????

Lots of bad guys are surrounding us.
Thank you very much.

Are you coming to the toga party?
Bye-bye.

- Agent katz?
- Yeah.Hey, frodo, is that you?

I thought my code name was samwise gamgee?

Hey, samwise, why don't you get your thumb out?

Morgan, listen, this is really, really not a good time.

Yeah, it's not a good time over here, either, dude.

Okay, i'm stuck in the hole doing customer service.

These kids are animals.

Okay, buddy, i get that, but i'm at stanford.

What do you want me to do about it?

Do you have the code to harry tang's master remote?

I think i can use it to bargain for my freedom.

Okay, okay, the code is ou812#.

Dude, this is why you're my hero.
Thank you so much.

Throwing things at an adult's heads is not the way to...

That's not gonna help you in life.

Oh, no.

I only got two rounds left.

I got half a mag.

Man: drop your weapons and stand up!

Hands where we can see them!

I'm gonna go for it.

You in?

You bet.

I hate long good-byes.

Actually, why don't you drop your weapons.

- Looks like someone called the cavalry.
- Good.

'Cause i only had one shot left.

Aren't you in econ with me?

Please don't.Please don't, please don't,
please don't, please don't.

Woman: don't.

Hah!

You must be chuck bartowski.

I just got your message.

Are you okay?

I'm just glad you check your voice mail.

Golf commentator: he's probay got a game plan.

What's going on?

What's happening?

Grimes!

- Hey, what's up, harry?
- What's going on?

You reprogrammed my remote.

Wow, you...

You can do that?

You've gone too far, grimes.

I've done nothing of the sort.

I've actually been here all day helping these lovely customers.

But i may be able to fix it...

For a price.

I want out of the hole.

I'd rather take a potato peeler to my groin.

Okay.

Fine with me.

I hope that big mike doesn't get too upset though

if all the televisions just happeto change To, i don't know...

Passion cove.

Quid pro quo, harry.

Yes or no?

That a boy.

Nice and easy.

Smart man.

You're dismissed.

Go ahead.
Yes!

True leader.

It's...

The grimes.

Ellie: i can't believe that game was such a wash.
What a blowout.

Worst game ever.

It's not coming off.

I think i used the wrong kind of paint.

Well, what brand was it?

Brand?
I don't know.

One of the guys picked it up.

I'll get some stronger soap.

So...

How painful was it?
The game, i mean.

Well, uh, do you rember the evening with morgan at the karaoke club?

His cover of peter cetera's "glory of love" that he dedicated to you?

That completely ruined karate kid ii.

Seriously, though, thanks...

Thanks for pushing me.

After the initial shock and horror,

it was a relief to finally go back, you know, say good- Bye.

Well, i'm proud of you.

You know, you faced your past head on.

Did you find what you were looking for?

Almost.

You'll get there.

You didn't think we'd let you keep that, did you?

I need to know, sarah.

Okay, chuck.

Test subject 0326.Bartowski.

This will be his first interview.

Send chuck in.

Bryce...

This isn't a good time.
I'm waiting for another student.

Chuck bartowski?

He neverot your message.

What are you talking about?

You put uck on the cia recruitment track.

It's not up to me, bryce.

They want him for the omaha project.

But that's a military operation.

They'll turn chuck into...

I'm required to send all the top test results to the agency.

I want my friend out of this.

He's a perfect candidate.

Keywords in his essay responses correlate to 98% of the subliminal images in the exam.

You don't get it.

Chuck's a good person.

He's g too much heart for this kind of work.

He's no operative.

You can't put him out in the field.

He won't survive.

The agency is not gonna let go of a recruit this promising.

The amount of information he can retain?

They're not gonna give him a choice?

He's in no matter what.

If he cheated on the exam, copied all the answers...

Then it would invalidate the results, wouldn't it?

Yes.

Good.

Now you're going to help me, professor.

Bryce framed me for cheating...

To save me.

Why didn't he just tell me that to begin with?

He couldn't.

They had already recruited him.

Well, if he had good reason for tting me kicked out,

maybe he had a good reason to break into The intersect, too.

Maybe he had a good reason for sending it to you.

I just wish i could talk to him.

It must have tore him up to not be able to tell me.

No one can know about this.

For your own safety, okay?

Sure.

?????

* * hey, are you in double-e 131?

It's pretty brutal, huh?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, i...

The only reason i signed up is 'cause i'm building my own version of, uh...

It's kind embarrassing actually.

What?

You don't remember that old computer game, zork, do you?

You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

Holy crap, you do remember zork.

I love that game.

I mean i haven't thought about in a while.

Oh, it's probably a od thing.

I disagree.

It's 1999.

The next millennium belongs to the geek.

All right.

But still, you know, text-based computer games don't exactly play with the chicks.

This girl jill on my floor is nuts about everquest.

Are you serious?

If you want, you can meet her.

Really?
Right now?

She's over in the quad.

Uh, yeah, i-i would...

I would very much like to meet her.

Need some help?

No.
Oh, no, i'm fine.

I just, uh...
You know...

College...
I'm-i'm...

Hi, i'm chuck, by the way.

Bryce.

- Nice to meet you, chuck.
- Hi.Yeah, nice to meet you.

sync:??

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