Chip 'n' Dale Rescue Rangers (1988–1990): Season 2, Episode 43 - Rest Home Rangers - full transcript

♪♪

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ SOMETIMES
SOME CRIMES ♪

♪ GO SLIPPIN'
THROUGH THE CRACKS ♪

♪ BUT THESE TWO
GUMSHOES ♪

♪ ARE PICKIN' UP
THE SLACK ♪

♪ THERE'S NO CASE TOO BIG ♪

♪ NO CASE TOO SMALL ♪

♪ WHEN YOU NEED HELP,
JUST CALL ♪

♪ CH-CH-CH-CHIP
'N' DALE'S ♪

♪ RESCUE RANGERS ♪



♪ CH-CH-CH-CHIP
'N' DALE ♪

♪ WHEN THERE'S DANGER ♪

♪ NO, NO, IT NEVER FAILS ♪

♪ ONCE THEY'RE INVOLVED ♪

♪ SOMEHOW WHATEVER'S WRONG
GETS SOLVED ♪

♪ CH-CH-CH-CHIP
'N' DALE ♪

♪ RESCUE RANGERS ♪

♪ CH-CH-CH-CHIP
'N' DALE ♪

♪ WHEN THERE'S DANGER ♪

♪ NO, NO, IT NEVER FAILS ♪

♪ THEY'LL TAKE THE CLUES ♪

♪ AND FIND THE WHERES
AND WHYS AND WHOS ♪

♪ CH-CH-CH-CHIP
'N' DALE ♪

♪ RESCUE RANGERS ♪



♪ CH-CH-CH-CHIP
'N' DALE ♪

♪ WHEN THERE'S DANGER ♪

♪ CH-CH-CH-CHIP
'N' DALE ♪

[DALE HUMMING
HAPPY BIRTHDAY]

IT SURE IS A LOT OF WORK

GETTING READY
FOR MONTEREY JACK'S
BIRTHDAY PARTY.

BUT ONE THING
MAKES IT ALL WORTH IT.

YOU MEAN KNOWING YOU'VE
MADE MONTY'S BIRTHDAY

A SPECIAL OCCASION?

NO, EATING THE CAKE.

I'M NOT REALLY SURE
HOW OLD MONTY IS,

I HOPE HE DOESN'T MIND
HAVING JUST ONE CANDLE.

MONTY WON'T CARE
WHAT'S ON THE CAKE AS LONG
AS THERE'S CHEESE IN IT.

MONTY CAN BE
A VERY SENSITIVE MOUSE.

I SMELL CHEESE...CAKE!

YOU'D BETTER
SKIP THE CAKE, MATE.
YOU'RE PUTTING ON WEIGHT.

[LAUGHS]
CHIP'S JUST FULL OF HOT AIR.

YII!

OH, NO,
THE PARTY'S RUINED!

PARTY? IS IT
SOMEBODY'S BIRTHDAY?

CRIKEY!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!

THEY SNEAK UP ON YOU,
DON'T THEY?

SEEMS LIKE ONLY A YEAR
SINCE THE LAST ONE.

WE HAD A WONDERFUL
PARTY PLANNED FOR YOU.

YEAH! WE EVEN HAD PARTY HATS
AND NOISEMAKERS.

WE HAD
BALLOONS, TOO.

DON'T FEEL BAD, MATES.

I'VE HAD PLENTY
OF BIRTHDAY PARTIES.

YEAH, YOU MUST'VE
HAD HUNDREDS OF THEM.

HUNDREDS?

WELL, YOU ARE OLDER
THAN THE REST OF US.

GETTING OLD AM I?
HUH! I DON'T EVEN KNOW
THE MEANING OF THE WORD.

UH-OH. HE'S STARTING
TO FORGET THINGS.

JUST BECAUSE IT'S
ME BIRTHDAY DON'T MEAN THAT I--

[BLARING]

JUST HOW OLD
ARE YOU, MONTY?

HUH? WHAT DID YOU SAY?

I THINK HE'S GETTING
HARD OF HEARING.

I NEVER FELT BETTER
IN ME LIFE.

WAS THAT
YOUR JOINTS POPPING?

YOU SOUND
AWFULLY STIFF.

MUST BE
THE OLD TRICK KNEE.

YOU SHOULD REST WHILE
WE GO TO THE SUPERMARKET

TO MORE CHEESE TO MAKE
ANOTHER BIRTHDAY CAKE.

GOING AFTER CHEESE?
NOW THAT'S MY IDEA OF A PARTY.

HE'S PRETTY SPRY
FOR SOMEONE SO OLD.

[MAN ON P.A.]
WELCOME LADIES
AND GENTLEMILKMEN

TO THE INTERNATIONAL
DAIRY EXHIBIT.

RICHLY UPHOLSTERED
IN GENUINE COWHIDE,

WITH TWO HORNS
AS STANDARD FEATURES,

THE NEW HOLSTEIN
IS THE EPITOME

OF THREE CYLINDER
PERFORMANCE.

CROWDS ALWAYS
MAKE ME NERVOUS,

UNLESS THEY'RE
GROVELING AT MY FEET.

NO MORE GROVELING CROWDS
FOR YOU, NORMAN NIMNUL.

THIS IS YOUR BIG CHANCE.

FROM NOW ON,
I'LL BE STRICTLY LEGITIMATE.

LEGIT? THAT'S NOT EASY.

I'D BETTER
PRACTICE SOME MORE.

AHEM. "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
DISTINGUISHED COWS--"

WAIT FOR LAUGH.

IT'S NO USE.
I'LL NEVER BE ABLE
TO REMEMBER THIS SPEECH.

WHEN I GET THIS NERVOUS,
ALL I WANT TO DO IS EAT,
RANT, AND RAVE.

YAH!

WHOOPS, I WONDER HOW MUCH
POWER THAT BLAST USED UP?

I'D BETTER ADD
SOME MORE OF MY SPECIAL
ORGANIC FUEL-- PRUNES.

LADIES AND DAIRYMEN,

PROFESSOR NIMNUL'S
NEW INVENTION

WILL MEAN AS MUCH
TO THE CHEESE
INDUSTRY

AS THE GREAT FRENCH
SCIENTIST PASTEUR
MEANT TO MILK.

SURRENDER IMMEDIATELY,
OR I SHALL CRUSH YOU LIKE--

OH, SORRY.
[LAUGHS]

OLD HABITS
ARE HARD TO BREAK.

MY NEWEST INVENTION,
THE, UH...

FAST OLDNESS GENERATING
INSTRUMENT EXPERIMENTAL--

UH, FOGIE FOR SHORT--

CAN TURN MILK INTO
AGED CHEESE INSTANTLY.

BEFORE YOUR EYES,

I WILL TRANSFORM THESE
10,000 GALLONS OF FRESH MILK

INTO 10 TONS
OF AGED CHEDDAR.

UH, SORRY, WRONG SETTING.

THIS TIME,
NOTHING CAN GO WRONG.

SAY CHEESE.

I'VE USED UP
ALL THE PRUNE FUEL.

THIS IS THE PITS.

THIS EXPERIMENT
HAS GONE SOUR.

IT JUST NEEDS MORE FUEL.

OH NO.
I ATE ALL THE PRUNES.

IT REALLY WORKS, HONEST.

I'M A GENIUS.

I'LL MAKE IT WORK.

YOU'RE WASHED UP
AROUND HERE, NIMNUL!

AND YOUR
NEW INVENTION STINKS!

IF YOU THINK
THAT MILK WAS ROTTEN,

WAIT UNTIL I GO BAD.

THERE'S SO MUCH
TO CHEESE FROM--
I MEAN, CHOOSE FROM.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START.

THIS SHOULD MAKE
A WONDERFUL CHEESECAKE.

[RANGERS SCREAM]

THIS SHOULD MAKE
AND EVEN BETTER ONE.

PRUNES!
I MUST HAVE PRUNES!

POOR OLD GUY.

PRUNES, THE WONDER FRUIT.

IT'LL TAKE FOREVER
TO LOAD ALL THESE.

AHA!

SCIENCE.

NOW THAT YOU'RE
A MATURE MOUSE.

YOU REALLY SHOULD WATCH
WHAT YOU EAT.

I NEVER EAT
ANYTHING I CAN'T SEE.

BESIDES, I'VE BEEN
EATING CHEESE ALL ME LIFE.

AND THAT'S A LONG TIME.

TRY EATING
HEALTHIER FOOD.

HEALTHIER? LIKE WHAT?

WELL, LIKE--

LIKE--
LIKE PRUNES.

THIS IS
THE EXPRESS LANE.

NO MORE THAN 12 ITEMS.

BUT I'VE ONLY GOT
ONE ITEM-- PRUNES.

YOU MUST HAVE OVER 1,000.

YOU'LL HAVE TO USE
THE REGULAR CHECKOUT LANE.

YOU CAN'T STOP SCIENCE!

UH, PAPER OR PLASTIC?

OUT OF MY WAY,
OR I'LL TURN YOU FROM A BAG BOY,

INTO AN OLD BAG MAN.

WHAT'S ALL THE FUSS
AND FEATHERS?

SHOPLIFTER!
CALL THE POLICE!

-[ALARM RINGING]
-IT'S PROFESSOR NIMNUL.

AFTER HIM!

[SIREN]

THE POLICE! DON'T THEY HAVE
ANYTHING BETTER TO DO

THAN ARREST CRIMINALS?

PUT ON THE BRAKES.

HMM?

I SAID,
PUT ON THE BRAKES.

WHAT ARE YOU, DEAF?

OH, NO, THANKS.
I ALREADY HAD LUNCH.

HEY, YOU'RE NOT
SUPPOSED TO DRIVE
IN HERE.

RIGHT. THIS IS AN EXIT.

THIS IS NO TIME TO LIE DOWN
ON THE JOB, MATES.

NIMNUL'S GETTING AWAY!

NOW, TO COVER
MY ESCAPE.

COME ON, MATES,
HE'S GETTING AWAY!

AAH!

[LAUGHING]

HALT. HALT.

PLEASE.

MONTY!

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT,
MONTY?

OF COURSE I'M ALL RIGHT.

LIKE I SAID BEFORE,
NEVER FELT BETTER
IN ME LIFE.

[CHIP]
PROFESSOR NIMNUL
IS SURE TO STRIKE AGAIN.

BUT WHERE? HE COULD BE
ANYWHERE IN THE CITY.

WE'LL HAVE TO STAY ALERT.

[SNORING]

I DON'T UNDERSTAND
HOW MONTY GOT SO OLD SO FAST.

YEAH, HE WAS
ALL RIGHT YESTERDAY.

YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER,
HE'S A YEAR OLDER TODAY.

OLD OR NOT, MONTY'S STILL
A RESCUE RANGER.

-EH? UH, WHAT?
-YOU FELL ASLEEP.

ASLEEP? WHY, I WAS
JUST RESTING ME EYES.

WE'RE TRYING TO COME UP
WITH A PLAN TO STOP
PROFESSOR NIMNUL.

NIMNUL AGAIN?
YOU YOUNG WHIPPERSNAPPERS

ARE ALWAYS UP IN THE AIR
OVER SOMETHING.

-THAT'S IT.
-WHAT? EH?

UP IN THE AIR.

WE CAN USE THE RANGER PLANE
TO WATCH OVER THE CITY

AND CATCH NIMNUL
WHEN HE STRIKES AGAIN.

THAT'S RIGHT.
GREAT IDEA, MONTY.

MONTY?

HIS EYES SURE NEED
A LOT OF REST.

MY FOGIE DEVICE IS
A WHOLE NEW WRINKLE

IN DIABOLICAL PLOTS.

THE WONDER OF THE AGE.

[LAUGHS]
FUEL IS THE ONLY PROBLEM.

IF I'M GOING TO WREAK
ENDLESS HAVOC,

I'LL NEED
AN ENDLESS SUPPLY OF PRUNES.

WHY NOT GO TO THE SOURCE?

EVERYBODY KNOWS
WHERE PRUNES COME FROM--
THE PRUNE FACTORY.

[HORNS HONKING]

YOU HEAR SOMETHING?

NO, THANKS. I'M TRYING
TO CUT DOWN ON DOUGHNUTS.

[HORNS HONKING]

TRAFFIC LOOKS
A LITTLE SLOW TODAY.

SLOW? WHY, I REMEMBER
ONCE BACK IN '07

I HAD TO DRIVE
A HERD OF TORTOISES

ACROSS THE GALAPAGOS
ISLANDS.

NOW, THAT WAS SLOW.

DON'T YOU THINK MONTY'S
ACTING STRANGE

NOW THAT
HE'S OLDER.

WHAT A DIFFERENCE
A DAY MAKES.

CHIP! GADGET!
IT'S NIMNUL!

COME ON, WE'LL FIND OUT
WHAT HE'S UP TO NOW.

OK.

I HOPE YOU GO ON A DIET
BEFORE YOUR NEXT BIRTHDAY.

I DON'T SEE
ANYTHING.

SHH! I THINK
I HEAR SOMETHING.

MONTY, WAKE UP!

WHAT'S UP?

WE'RE TRYING TO SEE
WHAT NIMNUL'S UP TO.

NEED SOME HELP, DO YOU?

THAT'LL TEACH YOU
TO GIVE YOUR EYES MORE REST.

LOOKS TO ME

LIKE THAT YOUNG SCALAWAG'S
STEALING A TRUCK.

WHAT'S HE STEALING
A MOVING VAN FOR?

I GUESS HE WANTS
TO MOVE SOMETHING.

I THINK WE'VE GOT HIM TRAPPED.

HE'LL NEVER GET
THROUGH THOSE DOORS.

LET'S GROW OLD TOGETHER.

WOW! LOOK AT THAT.

FRANKLY,
I'M IMPRESSED.

-[ENGINE SPUTTERS]
-WHY WON'T THIS THING START?

DON'T LET HIM
GET AWAY!

I'M RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

WHERE'S MONTY?

MONTY!

GO AHEAD
WITHOUT ME.

I JUST NEED TO SIT A SPELL
AND REST ME BONES.

QUICK, ZIPPER,
THE CONTROL PANEL.

OH!

GERONIMOUSE!

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, MONTY?

OF COURSE I'M OK,
YOU BLINKING SHAVE-TAIL.

WHY, I'M STRONG AS
LIMBURGER CHEESE.

WELL, MAKE THAT
MILD CHEDDAR.

IT'S NOT NATURAL
TO AGE THAT FAST.

SOMETHING MUST'VE
MADE YOU OLD.

THINK BACK, MONTY.

HAS ANYTHING UNUSUAL
HAPPENED TODAY?

WELL, NOW, LET'S SEE.

TODAY, TODAY.
WHAT DAY IS IT, ANYWAY?

IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, MONTY.

OH, YEAH,
MUST HAVE FORGOT.

MEMORY'S GETTING RUSTY.

THAT'S IT.
YOU SAW WHAT
PROFESSOR NIMNUL'S RAY

DID TO THOSE DOORS--

RUSTED THEM.
A HUNDRED YEARS
OF RUST IN SECONDS.

PROFESSOR NIMNUL
MUST HAVE INVENTED
AN AGING RAY.

MONTY MUST HAVE
GOTTEN HIT WITH IT

AND IT MADE HIM OLD
BEFORE HIS TIME.

THEN IT WASN'T JUST BECAUSE
IT WAS HIS BIRTHDAY.

-THAT'S A RELIEF.
-WHY?

BECAUSE NEXT WEEK
IS MY BIRTHDAY.

BILLIONS AND BILLIONS
OF PRUNES,

ENOUGH TO AGE
THE WHOLE CITY. CITY? HA!

ENOUGH TO AGE
THE WHOLE WORLD.

ALL I HAVE TO DO IS
LOAD THE VAN.

IT'S NIMNUL.

A MOUSE!

PLANNING TO EAT
MY PRUNES, EH?

YOU'RE A REGULAR THIEF!

AND I KNOW HOW
TO HANDLE THIEVES,

ESPECIALLY WHEN
I'M SO MUCH BIGGER
THAN THEY ARE.

[LAUGHS]

WE'VE GOT TO SAVE MONTY.

LUCKY FOR YOU,
I'M TOO BUSY TO DEAL
WITH YOU PROPERLY.

I'LL JUST HAVE
TO LET THINGS SLIDE FOR NOW.

AAH!

CRIKEY! I HAVEN'T BEEN
THIS DIZZY

SINCE THE LAST TIME I WENT
WALTZING WITH MATILDA.

MONTY!

OH, GOOD DAY, MATE.

YOU WOULDN'T KNOW A BONZER WAY
OUT OF THIS BOWL, WOULD YOU?

WHAT'S THE MATTER, MATE?
CAT GOT YOUR TONGUE?

BUST ME BUTTONS!
IT'S ME OWN REFLECTION!

NO WONDER
HE WAS SO GOOD-LOOKING.

WAIT A MINUTE.
I'M BLINKING OLD!

OH, I ALWAYS KNEW
IT WOULD END SOMEDAY.

I JUST DIDN'T KNOW
IT WOULD HAPPEN
ALL IN ONE DAY.

DON'T WORRY, MONTY!
WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT IN A JIFFY.

DON'T BOTHER, MATES.

AN OLD CODGER LIKE ME
IS JUST NO USE.

DON'T TALK LIKE THAT.
YOU'RE STILL A RESCUE RANGER.

EVEN IF YOU ARE
AS OLD AS THE HILLS.

WE'RE TRYING
TO CHEER HIM UP, STUPID.

YOU'VE PROBABLY
HURT HIS FEELINGS.

[SNORING]

AT LEAST HE ISN'T LOSING
ANY SLEEP OVER IT.

OK.

NOTHING LIKE A NAP
TO GIVE YOU A LIFT.

WHERE AM I?

DON'T YOU REMEMBER?
WE'RE TRYING TO STOP
PROFESSOR NIMNUL.

I'M TOO OLD
FOR THAT KIND OF THING.

I'LL JUST SIT DOWN
AND REST ME OLD BONES.

[GASPS]
I KNOW THOSE RODENTS.

EVERY TIME I SEE THEM,
SOMETHING GOES WRONG
WITH MY PLANS.

I'LL FINISH THEM THIS TIME
FOR OLD TIMES' SAKE.

[ALL SCREAM]

CRIKEY, I REALLY AM
GETTING RUSTY.

-DALE!
-DRAT! I'VE LOST THEM.

I WOULDN'T
HAVE THIS PROBLEM
IF THEY WERE ELEPHANTS.

AAH!

-THIS WAY, DALE.
-NO, THIS WAY.

GEE, THAT WAS
A CLOSE SHAVE.

THANKS, CHIP.

ANY TIME.

UH-OH.

HEY, DO YOU SEE
ANYTHING UNUSUAL?

UH, NO, NO COFFEE
FOR ME, THANKS.

THAT LOOKS
PLUMB SUSPICIOUS.

MEDDLE IN MY DIABOLICAL
PLANS, WILL YOU?

I'LL TEACH YOU
TO LEAVE BAD ENOUGH ALONE.

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE
TO BE 90 YEARS OLD

IN CHIPMUNK YEARS?

THAT'S 630 TO YOU AND ME.

CHIP! DALE!

HURRY! JUMP!

HOORAY!
WE'RE SAFE!

WELL, WE WERE SAFE.

[ALL SCREAM]

RODENTS UNDER GLASS!

OH, WHERE IS EVERYBODY?

YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ME PALS,
HAVE YOU, OLD TIMER?

OH, IT'S ME AGAIN.

HELP! MONTY!
MONTY! HELP!

IT'S JUST LIKE THEM.

THEY REMEMBER
THEIR OLD FRIEND MONTY

WHEN THEY NEED HELP.

WHAT ARE YOU
DOING IN THERE?

AH, THE BACKSTROKE.
[LAUGHS]

WHO THREW THAT?

HEY, SONNY, HOW ABOUT PICKING
ON SOMEBODY YOUR OWN AGE?

OOH, TALK ABOUT
ASKING FOR IT.

I'VE BEEN OUTSMARTED
BY A MOUSE.

BEING OLD'S
NOT SO BAD,

EVEN IF IT DOES
SLOW YOU DOWN A MIGHT.

JUST GIVES YOU
MORE TIME TO REFLECT.

THIS IS TERRIBLE.

NOW I'LL NEVER CONQUER
THE WORLD BEFORE I RETIRE.

MY FOGIE DEVICE!

COME BACK HERE,
GOLDURN IT.

DON'T WORRY, MATES.
I'M COMING.

WE ALMOST DROWNED
IN PRUNE JUICE.

YEAH, BUT I SURE
FEEL HEALTHY.

MONTY, LOOK OUT!

HOW DO I
GET OFF THIS THING?

I HAVE AN IDEA.

CHIP, YOU AND DALE GRAB
NIMNUL'S AGING DEVICE

AND TAKE IT OVER
TO THOSE PLUM TREES.

ZIPPER, COME WITH ME.

HERE IT COMES.

WE HAVE TO PUSH IT OFF.
HELP ME PUSH!

WHOA!
WHOA!

NOW WHAT, GADGET?

IF MY THEORY IS RIGHT,
WE SHOULD BE ABLE
TO REVERSE WHAT'S HAPPENED

BY FEEDING PLUMS
INTO THIS DEVICE.

I DON'T GET IT.
HOW WILL PLUMS HELP?

WELL, PRUNES ARE
JUST AGED PLUMS, SO...

PLUMS SHOULD
MAKE MONTY YOUNGER.

I HOPE.

[NIMNUL]
STOP! GET AWAY
FROM THERE.

THAT FOGIE BELONGS
TO THIS FOGIE.

HURRY!
START LOADING!

NOW HELP ME
AIM IT AT MONTY.

THERE HE IS!

I HOPE THIS WORKS.

WE HAVE TO GET RID OF THIS THING
BEFORE NIMNUL GETS IT.

AAH!

HANDS UP, NIMNUL.

TIME FOR A VISIT
TO YOUR FAVORITE
OLD JAIL CELL.

YOU'RE YOUR OLD SELF AGAIN--

I MEAN YOUR YOUNG SELF.

THANKS TO GADGET.

YOU KNOW, LUV,
AS LONG AS YOU WERE
TURNING BACK THE CLOCK,

YOU COULD HAVE SHAVED
OFF A FEW EXTRA YEARS.

OR AT LEAST
A FEW POUNDS.

WHAT DO THEY SERVE
FOR BREAKFAST IN JAIL?

ANYTHING YOU WANT,
OLD TIMER.

NO PRUNES,
ANYTHING BUT PRUNES.

I'M SORRY ALL THIS HAD TO HAPPEN
ON YOUR BIRTHDAY, MONTY.

WE HAD SUCH
A NICE PARTY PLANNED.

DON'T WORRY, GADGET LUV.
IT'S BEEN A BONZER BIRTHDAY.

IT'S THE FIRST
I EVER GOT YOUNGER. HA!