Chip 'n' Dale Rescue Rangers (1988–1990): Season 2, Episode 34 - It's a Bird, It's Insane, It's Dale! - full transcript
A highly radioactive meteorite enters Earth's atmosphere and explodes.
♪♪
(THUNDER CRASHING)
(POLICE SIRENS WAILING)
♪ Sometimes some crimes ♪
♪ Go slippin'
through the cracks ♪
♪ But these two gumshoes ♪
♪ Are pickin' up the slack ♪
♪ There's no case too big,
no case too small ♪
♪ When you need help,
just call ♪
♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale's ♪
♪ Rescue Rangers ♪
♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale ♪
♪ When there's danger ♪
♪ No, no, it never fails ♪
♪ 'Cause once
they're involved ♪
♪ Somehow whatever's wrong
gets solved ♪
♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale ♪
♪ Rescue Rangers ♪
♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale ♪
♪ When there's danger ♪
♪ No, no, it never fails ♪
♪ They'll take the clues ♪
♪ And find the wheres
and whys and whos ♪
♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale ♪
♪ Rescue Rangers ♪
♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale ♪
♪ When there's danger ♪
♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale ♪
ASTRONOMER 1:
Just as you predicted,
Dr. Hibbleman,
the alien meteor swarm
is passing
through our solar system
and out the other side.
Ja, but how can we be sure
it will miss Earth completely?
According to
the Minkoff equation...
Phooey on
the Minkoff equation!
Mein calculations
show that the odds
against a meteor
hitting the Earth
are-- are astronomical.
It will never happen.
And even if
a teeny-tiny meteor
does hit Earth,
what could possibly
be the harm?
SEYMOUR: Ow!
(HUMMING)
Hmm, here's a fat one.
In you go.
(HUMMING)
Whoops!
Wow!
(DALE SNIFFING)
Hey, something's burning.
(SCREAMING)
(SIGHING IN RELIEF)
Hey, what's this?
Wowie, a nightlight.
I wonder where
this could've come from.
(SCREAMING)
Hey, what's going on?
(BELL RINGING)
(GASPING)
(GASPING)
(SCREAMS)
Help! That man has my purse!
(GRUNTING)
Stop the van!
(TIRES SCREECHING)
I don't know what that is
but it's gonna make
a great story.
Wowie-zowie!
This rock must be magic.
This darling little chipmunk
saved my purse.
MAN: Yeah, he's a real hero.
Look,
he's made out of rubber.
Wait! Come back!
I need some close-ups!
(DALE EXCLAIMING)
MAN ON TV:
This amazing event happened
less than half an hour ago.
The action was captured
by our super-duper
action-eyewitness
mini-cam crew.
Hey, guys, looky here.
(SHUSHING) Quiet, Dale.
This is important.
Now, lookit, I'm a cowboy.
A would-be purse snatcher
has been apprehended
by an incredible
stretching chipmunk.
Huh? Hey, that's me!
(ALL SHUSHING)
The chipmunk seemed to exhibit
powers and abilities
far beyond
those of mortal men
or other small rodents.
Yeah?
Could this mercurial mammal,
this rambunctious rodent,
this changeable chipmunk
be, in fact, a real superhero?
Wowzers! Did you hear that?
I'm a...
What a bunch of hooey!
It must be some kind
of trick photography.
-It is not!
-Oh, and how
would you know?
Because I...
Oh, I've seen
weirder things than that
in a cafeteria line.
-But...
-Remember, Monty,
the world is full
of unexplained events.
-(SCREAMS)
-There could be
a super-chipmunk
out there somewhere.
That's what I've been
trying to tell you.
I'm the...
Gee, Gadget,
if there is a superhero,
maybe we should get him
to join the Rescue Rangers.
Bonzer idea, Chip.
Let's go find him.
-But...
-Right.
Rescue Rangers, away!
But...
Well, if they want a superhero,
I'll give them a superhero.
But first,
I gotta do some heavy-duty
professional research.
There, 147 comic books.
Now I know everything
about being a superhero.
Look out, world,
here comes, uh, Super-munk!
Uh, Expando-Dale! No.
The Amazing Bouncerine!
No, I need a name
that will strike fear
into the hearts of criminals.
Rubber Bando!
(SCREAMING)
SEYMOUR: You wouldn't
believe it, Harvey.
This rock falls
right out of the sky,
smashes my roof
and bonks me on the noggin.
You're my lawyer.
Who can I sue?
No, go right to the top.
-(PHONE RINGING)
-Oops, gotta go, Harv.
Another sucker's calling.
Seymour Travel Agency.
See more with Seymour.
Seymour speaking.
(MAN ON PHONE
CHATTERING ANGRILY)
Hey, I only said
you'd fly to Rio.
I never promised the plane
would actually land there.
(CHUCKLING)
They're lucky
I didn't charge extra
for the parachutes.
Ah, I'm too good
for this two-bit
travel racket, girls.
I'm meant for the big time.
What's the matter?
Didn't you like
the Bermuda Triangle?
Get out of here before I...
What the...
(POLICE SIRENS WAILING)
Oh, boy! A bank robbery!
Rubber Bando to the rescue!
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(DALE SCREAMING)
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
What's that?
Man, don't you
watch the news?
He's that superhero.
You just ruined
a perfectly good bank heist.
Yeah, eat lead, chipmunk!
BOTH: We give up!
Hey, thanks, little buddy.
You're a real hero.
SEYMOUR: See, girls?
These tourist attractions
are worth a fortune.
And if this little lady
was missing,
I bet New York
would pay a bundle
to get her back.
And I'm just the guy
to take her.
Girls, I think
we just hit the big time.
Don't worry, fair city.
Rubber Bando is here
to protect you.
Uh-oh.
That sounds like trouble.
Down, down and away!
The blaze is too big.
We need more help.
Maybe not. Look!
(ALL CHEERING)
Gosh, being a superhero
is nothing like
being a Ranger.
It's better.
Uh, betcha they even
put my face on a T-shirt.
Time for Rubber Bando
to change back
to his secret identity.
Golly, the streets
sure are quiet
now that the city
has its own superhero.
Look! There's
the rubber wonder now.
(GRUNTING)
This always seems easier
in the comic books.
CHIP: Maybe we can get him
to join the Rescue Rangers.
What are they doing here?
They'll learn
my secret identity.
I gotta hide.
Golly,
where's Rubber Bando?
CHIP: He was here
just a second ago.
(SQUEAKING) He's over here!
(CLEARING THROAT)
Hello? Are you in there,
Mr. Superhero?
DALE: Nope, nobody here.
Try the gumball machine
down the block.
Hmm. He seems kind of shy.
Hi, we were wondering
if you would like to join us.
We're the Rescue Rangers,
a small but efficient
battalion of do-gooders
devoted to helping
those in trouble.
Would you like to see
our news clippings?
Go away!
Golly, he seems
kind of rude, too.
(SQUEAKING) I'll get him!
(DALE GROANING)
CHIP: It's Dale!
What are you doing
in there?
What? Dale?
CHIP: You're Rubber Bando?
Uh, looking for spare change?
Come on out, pally!
Why didn't you tell us
you were a superhero?
Uh, superhero?
I'm no superhero.
Oh? Then how do you explain
the fancy underwear?
Uh, going to
a costume party.
Golly, Dale, being a superhero
is nothing to be ashamed of.
Is it?
DALE: And I can blow up
like a balloon.
Whoa! Stop it, Dale.
I can't steer.
And get wings like a birdie.
Hey, who turned out
the lights?
And bullets
bounce right off me.
I bet he can even pat himself
on the back.
Oh, sure, I can do that easy.
But you wanna know
what the best part
about this is?
Not really.
It's the neat costume
I get to wear.
Hey, now that you guys know
my secret identity,
you can all be my sidekicks.
Every superhero
needs sidekicks,
you know, for comic relief.
(EXCLAIMS)
Hey, what'd you do that for?
Oh, just a little
comic relief.
You're just jealous
'cause you aren't the idol
of millions.
Oh, brother.
Well, actually,
he'd be a superhero, too,
if he wore this meteorite
of yours.
A meteorite?
You mean that thing
fell from space?
Yep. And it looks like
it broke off
a much bigger piece.
Anyone who gets close enough
to its radiation
would have the same powers
as Dale.
See?
Well, stretching
doesn't make you a superhero.
You gotta be courageous
and pure of heart.
And that's me.
(DOGS BARKING)
And don't come back
till yous can give
a decent haircut!
All right, Rangers,
looks like a crime for us.
(SCOFFS) You call that
a crime?
I'm used to taking on
the real thing.
Well, that is the real thing
to a Rescue Ranger.
Every crime is important.
(SIGHING)
Well, if you insist.
(CRASHING)
POODLE: We're tired
of being made to look silly.
Real dogs don't put up
with perfumey shampoos,
right, Alphonse?
Don't call me Alphonse.
I hate it.
I want a real dog's name,
like Butch or Spike
or something.
Hey, who let out
the hamsters?
Who you calling a hamster,
pipsqueak?
Who you calling
a pipsqueak, hamster?
Now, calm down.
We're the Rescue Rangers,
and you guys are gonna have to
clean this stuff up.
(DOGS LAUGHING)
Hey, Alph...
(CLEARS THROAT)
Uh, Spike, the gerbil wants us
to clean this up.
(LAUGHING) Ain't that rich,
huh? Ain't it?
Ain't it, huh, Spike?
Let's see how bossy they are
when they're behind bars.
(CHUCKLING)
Looks like just the kind
of canine crunchies
that real dogs deserve.
(DOGS LAUGHING)
ALPHONSE:
Hey! Get me out of here!
Silence, evildoers,
justice will prevail.
(DOGS GROANING)
Wow! He took care
of all three of them at once.
Now we'll see if their bark
is worse than their bounce.
(CRASHING)
(CRASHING)
(GASPS)
It's that chipmunk superhero.
Rubber Bando to you,
evildoer.
Now, c-clean up this mess,
or do I have to get tough?
-Uh, no, sir.
-Uh-uh. No, sir.
-We'll get right to it.
-Clean it? Clean it, you say?
-Yeah.
-(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)
You're the boss.
Ta-da!
Rubber Bando at your service.
Hey, pally,
you didn't give us a chance
to join the punch-up!
Sort of takes the fun
out of adventurin'.
Sorry, Monterey,
but it's the job
of us superheroes
to look out
for the little guys.
Little guys?
Why, I'll...
No, Chip,
let me talk to him.
Dale, you don't really expect us
to be your sidekicks, do you?
Gee, you know,
you're right, Gadget.
I don't need anybody.
I'm a superhero.
Maybe Dale's right.
He got the job done
without us
and nobody got hurt.
Maybe the Rescue Rangers
are just the little guys.
Well, the first thing
I'm gonna do
with the ransom money
is buy some new shoes,
but first I need something
to ransom.
Yeah, this'll look very pretty
in my collection.
(RUMBLING)
KIDS: Wow!
The statue!
What's happening?
It's the rubber guy
we saw on TV!
Wow!
(KISSING)
Boy, oh, boy,
don't I look good?
I betcha it won't be long
before I get my own TV show.
(SARCASTICALLY)
We can hardly wait.
Gosh, your own TV show!
That would be
something special.
You bet! Hey, what's this?
MAN ON TV:
A special news bulletin.
We have exclusive pictures
of the famous
Statue of Liberty,
or rather of the spot
where the great statue
used to be.
The fabulous landmark
has been stolen.
Now, there's a real case.
New York authorities
have no clue to...
Wait a moment. This just in.
The landmark thief has struck
around the world.
France has lost
the Eiffel Tower.
England is missing Big Ben.
San Francisco no longer
has its Golden Gate,
and even the Sphinx in Egypt
has gone bye-bye.
International authorities
are looking
for the one man...
Uh, animal
who might be able to help.
We need the Rubber Rodent.
Rubber Rodent?
What kind of a name is that
for a superhero?
Oh, well, gotta go, guys.
Duty calls.
Rubber Bando to the rescue!
Up, up and away!
(CRASHING)
Having a superhero around
makes being a Rescue Ranger
seem kind of silly.
Well, Rubber Dubber Dale
can't be everywhere.
There will still be cases
for us.
MAN ON TV: This is terrible.
We have just received
a videotape
of the Statue of Liberty
being stolen.
This videotape
was taken by a tourist,
Cranston Ludmeyer,
who visited the monument
earlier today.
It appears that our superhero
has become a super-thief.
(ALL GASPING)
The Rubber Rodent
has gone rogue!
I wonder how superheroes
are supposed to find
super-crooks?
Hey, look,
it's the Rubber Rodent!
Run away! Run!
MAN: Run!
WOMAN: Get out of my way!
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
What's going on?
Why don't they like me?
KIRBY: All right,
you measly monument grabber,
take it slow and easy.
What? That wasn't me.
It's all a mistake!
He's charging!
Give me that thing.
Oops.
He means business.
We better call in
the flamethrowers.
Where's that flamethrower?
No, wait.
I'm too young to fry.
One charbroiled chipmunk
coming up.
Bye.
You guys gotta help me!
Us? But we're
only your sidekicks.
Some guy's
stealing monuments,
and the cops think it's me,
and they're gonna crisp me
and everything!
You don't say.
Chip, you gotta do something.
But we're just
the little guys.
What can we do?
You're the Rescue Rangers.
You gotta rescue me.
Oh, so now
the bigshot superhero
needs our protection, huh?
I thought
you could do everythin'
on your own.
You're not part
of our team, remember?
Oh, please, please, please,
take me back.
I wanna be
a Rescue Ranger again.
Well, okay.
Thanks, Chipperoo.
Now, how am I gonna
get out of this?
I didn't do anything.
There must be
some other rubber guy.
But, Dale, how many other
super-meteorites
could there be?
Actually, Chip,
there might be hundreds,
-maybe even thousands.
-Huh?
The original meteorite
could have split
into any number of fragments.
Then some bad guy
has one, too.
We gotta catch him fast
before my fans kill me.
-Dale.
-Oops.
Did I say, "my fans"?
I meant
the Rescue Rangers' fans.
(SNIFFLING)
(CRYING)
I'll probably never get
my own TV show now.
(SQUEAKING)
What you got there, Zipper?
A travel brochure?
This is no time
to be plannin'
a vacation, mate.
I'll take that.
Every little clue could help
at this point.
With this test,
I'll be able to tell
what this brochure
is made out of.
-Well?
-It's made out of paper.
That's it?
Well, that and the fact
that it came from
Seymour's Travel Agency
near the corner
of Lankershim and Cahuenga.
Wow, that's some test,
Gadget, love.
Well, actually,
the address is stamped
right on the bottom
of the brochure.
MONTEREY: It looks like
we got the right place,
all right.
(GASPING)
Look, the monuments,
he shrunk all of them.
Why don't you try
stretching your brain
for a change?
Chip's right, Dale.
Those are just models.
(GASPING)
He's making models
of monuments!
What's wrong with that?
This is strange.
Red sand.
(SLURPING)
Blimey! It reminds me
of the time I was campin'
with some pioneer prairie dogs
in Arizona.
Arizona? That's it!
I know where
the missing monuments are.
GADGET:
Golly, Monument Valley!
CHIP: Where else
would a travel agent
hide monuments?
Chip, you found them!
DALE: And there's the crook.
Okay, now, remember the plan.
Monty, you find a big rock.
Gadget, you handle the plane.
I'll take care of the rope.
Well, what do I do, Chip?
Huh? Huh?
How about me, huh?
You, Mr. Rubber Bando,
are going to keep him busy.
How do I do that?
Brilliantly.
(SCREAMING)
Hello, New York?
I've got something here
you might be interested in
so I suggest
you get out your checkbook.
What?
Oh, it's the Rubber Rodent.
(IN CHILDISH VOICE)
Did the great big superhero
come to play with Seymour?
(SCREAMING)
I could do this all day.
(INHALING DEEPLY)
"I shot a chipmunk in the air
"and where he fell,
I do not care."
(SCREAMING)
Here, Gadget!
GADGET: Got it.
And now for a little
demolition derby.
(GASPS)
Two can play that game.
(GRUNTING)
GADGET: Okay, Monty,
it's all yours!
Here, Zipper, lad,
give me a hand.
(PANTING)
Monty! Go!
(GRUNTING)
Let's see
how flexible you are
without this.
Now I'll be
twice as bouncy as ever.
Now nothing in the world
can stop me.
(WHISTLES)
(GRUNTING)
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(GROANING)
We did it! Oh, boy!
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
How'd I do
with my part of the plan?
Great, Dale.
(BEEPING)
That transmitter should guide
the authorities here
in no time at all.
Sorry your meteorite
got busted, Dale.
That's okay.
I kind of let
that super-power stuff
go to my head.
Besides,
I think the Rescue Rangers
are pretty super
just the way they are.
(THUNDER CRASHING)
(POLICE SIRENS WAILING)
♪ Sometimes some crimes ♪
♪ Go slippin'
through the cracks ♪
♪ But these two gumshoes ♪
♪ Are pickin' up the slack ♪
♪ There's no case too big,
no case too small ♪
♪ When you need help,
just call ♪
♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale's ♪
♪ Rescue Rangers ♪
♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale ♪
♪ When there's danger ♪
♪ No, no, it never fails ♪
♪ 'Cause once
they're involved ♪
♪ Somehow whatever's wrong
gets solved ♪
♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale ♪
♪ Rescue Rangers ♪
♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale ♪
♪ When there's danger ♪
♪ No, no, it never fails ♪
♪ They'll take the clues ♪
♪ And find the wheres
and whys and whos ♪
♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale ♪
♪ Rescue Rangers ♪
♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale ♪
♪ When there's danger ♪
♪ Ch-Ch-Ch-Chip 'n Dale ♪
ASTRONOMER 1:
Just as you predicted,
Dr. Hibbleman,
the alien meteor swarm
is passing
through our solar system
and out the other side.
Ja, but how can we be sure
it will miss Earth completely?
According to
the Minkoff equation...
Phooey on
the Minkoff equation!
Mein calculations
show that the odds
against a meteor
hitting the Earth
are-- are astronomical.
It will never happen.
And even if
a teeny-tiny meteor
does hit Earth,
what could possibly
be the harm?
SEYMOUR: Ow!
(HUMMING)
Hmm, here's a fat one.
In you go.
(HUMMING)
Whoops!
Wow!
(DALE SNIFFING)
Hey, something's burning.
(SCREAMING)
(SIGHING IN RELIEF)
Hey, what's this?
Wowie, a nightlight.
I wonder where
this could've come from.
(SCREAMING)
Hey, what's going on?
(BELL RINGING)
(GASPING)
(GASPING)
(SCREAMS)
Help! That man has my purse!
(GRUNTING)
Stop the van!
(TIRES SCREECHING)
I don't know what that is
but it's gonna make
a great story.
Wowie-zowie!
This rock must be magic.
This darling little chipmunk
saved my purse.
MAN: Yeah, he's a real hero.
Look,
he's made out of rubber.
Wait! Come back!
I need some close-ups!
(DALE EXCLAIMING)
MAN ON TV:
This amazing event happened
less than half an hour ago.
The action was captured
by our super-duper
action-eyewitness
mini-cam crew.
Hey, guys, looky here.
(SHUSHING) Quiet, Dale.
This is important.
Now, lookit, I'm a cowboy.
A would-be purse snatcher
has been apprehended
by an incredible
stretching chipmunk.
Huh? Hey, that's me!
(ALL SHUSHING)
The chipmunk seemed to exhibit
powers and abilities
far beyond
those of mortal men
or other small rodents.
Yeah?
Could this mercurial mammal,
this rambunctious rodent,
this changeable chipmunk
be, in fact, a real superhero?
Wowzers! Did you hear that?
I'm a...
What a bunch of hooey!
It must be some kind
of trick photography.
-It is not!
-Oh, and how
would you know?
Because I...
Oh, I've seen
weirder things than that
in a cafeteria line.
-But...
-Remember, Monty,
the world is full
of unexplained events.
-(SCREAMS)
-There could be
a super-chipmunk
out there somewhere.
That's what I've been
trying to tell you.
I'm the...
Gee, Gadget,
if there is a superhero,
maybe we should get him
to join the Rescue Rangers.
Bonzer idea, Chip.
Let's go find him.
-But...
-Right.
Rescue Rangers, away!
But...
Well, if they want a superhero,
I'll give them a superhero.
But first,
I gotta do some heavy-duty
professional research.
There, 147 comic books.
Now I know everything
about being a superhero.
Look out, world,
here comes, uh, Super-munk!
Uh, Expando-Dale! No.
The Amazing Bouncerine!
No, I need a name
that will strike fear
into the hearts of criminals.
Rubber Bando!
(SCREAMING)
SEYMOUR: You wouldn't
believe it, Harvey.
This rock falls
right out of the sky,
smashes my roof
and bonks me on the noggin.
You're my lawyer.
Who can I sue?
No, go right to the top.
-(PHONE RINGING)
-Oops, gotta go, Harv.
Another sucker's calling.
Seymour Travel Agency.
See more with Seymour.
Seymour speaking.
(MAN ON PHONE
CHATTERING ANGRILY)
Hey, I only said
you'd fly to Rio.
I never promised the plane
would actually land there.
(CHUCKLING)
They're lucky
I didn't charge extra
for the parachutes.
Ah, I'm too good
for this two-bit
travel racket, girls.
I'm meant for the big time.
What's the matter?
Didn't you like
the Bermuda Triangle?
Get out of here before I...
What the...
(POLICE SIRENS WAILING)
Oh, boy! A bank robbery!
Rubber Bando to the rescue!
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(DALE SCREAMING)
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
What's that?
Man, don't you
watch the news?
He's that superhero.
You just ruined
a perfectly good bank heist.
Yeah, eat lead, chipmunk!
BOTH: We give up!
Hey, thanks, little buddy.
You're a real hero.
SEYMOUR: See, girls?
These tourist attractions
are worth a fortune.
And if this little lady
was missing,
I bet New York
would pay a bundle
to get her back.
And I'm just the guy
to take her.
Girls, I think
we just hit the big time.
Don't worry, fair city.
Rubber Bando is here
to protect you.
Uh-oh.
That sounds like trouble.
Down, down and away!
The blaze is too big.
We need more help.
Maybe not. Look!
(ALL CHEERING)
Gosh, being a superhero
is nothing like
being a Ranger.
It's better.
Uh, betcha they even
put my face on a T-shirt.
Time for Rubber Bando
to change back
to his secret identity.
Golly, the streets
sure are quiet
now that the city
has its own superhero.
Look! There's
the rubber wonder now.
(GRUNTING)
This always seems easier
in the comic books.
CHIP: Maybe we can get him
to join the Rescue Rangers.
What are they doing here?
They'll learn
my secret identity.
I gotta hide.
Golly,
where's Rubber Bando?
CHIP: He was here
just a second ago.
(SQUEAKING) He's over here!
(CLEARING THROAT)
Hello? Are you in there,
Mr. Superhero?
DALE: Nope, nobody here.
Try the gumball machine
down the block.
Hmm. He seems kind of shy.
Hi, we were wondering
if you would like to join us.
We're the Rescue Rangers,
a small but efficient
battalion of do-gooders
devoted to helping
those in trouble.
Would you like to see
our news clippings?
Go away!
Golly, he seems
kind of rude, too.
(SQUEAKING) I'll get him!
(DALE GROANING)
CHIP: It's Dale!
What are you doing
in there?
What? Dale?
CHIP: You're Rubber Bando?
Uh, looking for spare change?
Come on out, pally!
Why didn't you tell us
you were a superhero?
Uh, superhero?
I'm no superhero.
Oh? Then how do you explain
the fancy underwear?
Uh, going to
a costume party.
Golly, Dale, being a superhero
is nothing to be ashamed of.
Is it?
DALE: And I can blow up
like a balloon.
Whoa! Stop it, Dale.
I can't steer.
And get wings like a birdie.
Hey, who turned out
the lights?
And bullets
bounce right off me.
I bet he can even pat himself
on the back.
Oh, sure, I can do that easy.
But you wanna know
what the best part
about this is?
Not really.
It's the neat costume
I get to wear.
Hey, now that you guys know
my secret identity,
you can all be my sidekicks.
Every superhero
needs sidekicks,
you know, for comic relief.
(EXCLAIMS)
Hey, what'd you do that for?
Oh, just a little
comic relief.
You're just jealous
'cause you aren't the idol
of millions.
Oh, brother.
Well, actually,
he'd be a superhero, too,
if he wore this meteorite
of yours.
A meteorite?
You mean that thing
fell from space?
Yep. And it looks like
it broke off
a much bigger piece.
Anyone who gets close enough
to its radiation
would have the same powers
as Dale.
See?
Well, stretching
doesn't make you a superhero.
You gotta be courageous
and pure of heart.
And that's me.
(DOGS BARKING)
And don't come back
till yous can give
a decent haircut!
All right, Rangers,
looks like a crime for us.
(SCOFFS) You call that
a crime?
I'm used to taking on
the real thing.
Well, that is the real thing
to a Rescue Ranger.
Every crime is important.
(SIGHING)
Well, if you insist.
(CRASHING)
POODLE: We're tired
of being made to look silly.
Real dogs don't put up
with perfumey shampoos,
right, Alphonse?
Don't call me Alphonse.
I hate it.
I want a real dog's name,
like Butch or Spike
or something.
Hey, who let out
the hamsters?
Who you calling a hamster,
pipsqueak?
Who you calling
a pipsqueak, hamster?
Now, calm down.
We're the Rescue Rangers,
and you guys are gonna have to
clean this stuff up.
(DOGS LAUGHING)
Hey, Alph...
(CLEARS THROAT)
Uh, Spike, the gerbil wants us
to clean this up.
(LAUGHING) Ain't that rich,
huh? Ain't it?
Ain't it, huh, Spike?
Let's see how bossy they are
when they're behind bars.
(CHUCKLING)
Looks like just the kind
of canine crunchies
that real dogs deserve.
(DOGS LAUGHING)
ALPHONSE:
Hey! Get me out of here!
Silence, evildoers,
justice will prevail.
(DOGS GROANING)
Wow! He took care
of all three of them at once.
Now we'll see if their bark
is worse than their bounce.
(CRASHING)
(CRASHING)
(GASPS)
It's that chipmunk superhero.
Rubber Bando to you,
evildoer.
Now, c-clean up this mess,
or do I have to get tough?
-Uh, no, sir.
-Uh-uh. No, sir.
-We'll get right to it.
-Clean it? Clean it, you say?
-Yeah.
-(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)
You're the boss.
Ta-da!
Rubber Bando at your service.
Hey, pally,
you didn't give us a chance
to join the punch-up!
Sort of takes the fun
out of adventurin'.
Sorry, Monterey,
but it's the job
of us superheroes
to look out
for the little guys.
Little guys?
Why, I'll...
No, Chip,
let me talk to him.
Dale, you don't really expect us
to be your sidekicks, do you?
Gee, you know,
you're right, Gadget.
I don't need anybody.
I'm a superhero.
Maybe Dale's right.
He got the job done
without us
and nobody got hurt.
Maybe the Rescue Rangers
are just the little guys.
Well, the first thing
I'm gonna do
with the ransom money
is buy some new shoes,
but first I need something
to ransom.
Yeah, this'll look very pretty
in my collection.
(RUMBLING)
KIDS: Wow!
The statue!
What's happening?
It's the rubber guy
we saw on TV!
Wow!
(KISSING)
Boy, oh, boy,
don't I look good?
I betcha it won't be long
before I get my own TV show.
(SARCASTICALLY)
We can hardly wait.
Gosh, your own TV show!
That would be
something special.
You bet! Hey, what's this?
MAN ON TV:
A special news bulletin.
We have exclusive pictures
of the famous
Statue of Liberty,
or rather of the spot
where the great statue
used to be.
The fabulous landmark
has been stolen.
Now, there's a real case.
New York authorities
have no clue to...
Wait a moment. This just in.
The landmark thief has struck
around the world.
France has lost
the Eiffel Tower.
England is missing Big Ben.
San Francisco no longer
has its Golden Gate,
and even the Sphinx in Egypt
has gone bye-bye.
International authorities
are looking
for the one man...
Uh, animal
who might be able to help.
We need the Rubber Rodent.
Rubber Rodent?
What kind of a name is that
for a superhero?
Oh, well, gotta go, guys.
Duty calls.
Rubber Bando to the rescue!
Up, up and away!
(CRASHING)
Having a superhero around
makes being a Rescue Ranger
seem kind of silly.
Well, Rubber Dubber Dale
can't be everywhere.
There will still be cases
for us.
MAN ON TV: This is terrible.
We have just received
a videotape
of the Statue of Liberty
being stolen.
This videotape
was taken by a tourist,
Cranston Ludmeyer,
who visited the monument
earlier today.
It appears that our superhero
has become a super-thief.
(ALL GASPING)
The Rubber Rodent
has gone rogue!
I wonder how superheroes
are supposed to find
super-crooks?
Hey, look,
it's the Rubber Rodent!
Run away! Run!
MAN: Run!
WOMAN: Get out of my way!
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
What's going on?
Why don't they like me?
KIRBY: All right,
you measly monument grabber,
take it slow and easy.
What? That wasn't me.
It's all a mistake!
He's charging!
Give me that thing.
Oops.
He means business.
We better call in
the flamethrowers.
Where's that flamethrower?
No, wait.
I'm too young to fry.
One charbroiled chipmunk
coming up.
Bye.
You guys gotta help me!
Us? But we're
only your sidekicks.
Some guy's
stealing monuments,
and the cops think it's me,
and they're gonna crisp me
and everything!
You don't say.
Chip, you gotta do something.
But we're just
the little guys.
What can we do?
You're the Rescue Rangers.
You gotta rescue me.
Oh, so now
the bigshot superhero
needs our protection, huh?
I thought
you could do everythin'
on your own.
You're not part
of our team, remember?
Oh, please, please, please,
take me back.
I wanna be
a Rescue Ranger again.
Well, okay.
Thanks, Chipperoo.
Now, how am I gonna
get out of this?
I didn't do anything.
There must be
some other rubber guy.
But, Dale, how many other
super-meteorites
could there be?
Actually, Chip,
there might be hundreds,
-maybe even thousands.
-Huh?
The original meteorite
could have split
into any number of fragments.
Then some bad guy
has one, too.
We gotta catch him fast
before my fans kill me.
-Dale.
-Oops.
Did I say, "my fans"?
I meant
the Rescue Rangers' fans.
(SNIFFLING)
(CRYING)
I'll probably never get
my own TV show now.
(SQUEAKING)
What you got there, Zipper?
A travel brochure?
This is no time
to be plannin'
a vacation, mate.
I'll take that.
Every little clue could help
at this point.
With this test,
I'll be able to tell
what this brochure
is made out of.
-Well?
-It's made out of paper.
That's it?
Well, that and the fact
that it came from
Seymour's Travel Agency
near the corner
of Lankershim and Cahuenga.
Wow, that's some test,
Gadget, love.
Well, actually,
the address is stamped
right on the bottom
of the brochure.
MONTEREY: It looks like
we got the right place,
all right.
(GASPING)
Look, the monuments,
he shrunk all of them.
Why don't you try
stretching your brain
for a change?
Chip's right, Dale.
Those are just models.
(GASPING)
He's making models
of monuments!
What's wrong with that?
This is strange.
Red sand.
(SLURPING)
Blimey! It reminds me
of the time I was campin'
with some pioneer prairie dogs
in Arizona.
Arizona? That's it!
I know where
the missing monuments are.
GADGET:
Golly, Monument Valley!
CHIP: Where else
would a travel agent
hide monuments?
Chip, you found them!
DALE: And there's the crook.
Okay, now, remember the plan.
Monty, you find a big rock.
Gadget, you handle the plane.
I'll take care of the rope.
Well, what do I do, Chip?
Huh? Huh?
How about me, huh?
You, Mr. Rubber Bando,
are going to keep him busy.
How do I do that?
Brilliantly.
(SCREAMING)
Hello, New York?
I've got something here
you might be interested in
so I suggest
you get out your checkbook.
What?
Oh, it's the Rubber Rodent.
(IN CHILDISH VOICE)
Did the great big superhero
come to play with Seymour?
(SCREAMING)
I could do this all day.
(INHALING DEEPLY)
"I shot a chipmunk in the air
"and where he fell,
I do not care."
(SCREAMING)
Here, Gadget!
GADGET: Got it.
And now for a little
demolition derby.
(GASPS)
Two can play that game.
(GRUNTING)
GADGET: Okay, Monty,
it's all yours!
Here, Zipper, lad,
give me a hand.
(PANTING)
Monty! Go!
(GRUNTING)
Let's see
how flexible you are
without this.
Now I'll be
twice as bouncy as ever.
Now nothing in the world
can stop me.
(WHISTLES)
(GRUNTING)
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(GROANING)
We did it! Oh, boy!
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
How'd I do
with my part of the plan?
Great, Dale.
(BEEPING)
That transmitter should guide
the authorities here
in no time at all.
Sorry your meteorite
got busted, Dale.
That's okay.
I kind of let
that super-power stuff
go to my head.
Besides,
I think the Rescue Rangers
are pretty super
just the way they are.