Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (2018–…): Season 3, Episode 3 - Chapter Twenty-Three: Heavy Is the Crown - full transcript

Sabrina visits a mysterious (and familiar) town. Zelda aims to restore order at the academy. A carnival creates buzz in Greendale. Theo takes a chance.

It's late.

I'm gonna call it a night.

I don't need any details,
but you really like this girl?

Uh...

I do, yeah.

And you've got... protection?

Yes, Dad.

- Jeez, what?
- I'm just saying.

Be smart.

Good night.

Good night.



Is everything okay?

Yeah, my dad's just being weird.

That carnival opens up tomorrow night.

You wanna go?

Maybe they have a tunnel of love?

I was thinking the same thing.

♪ You call the shots, babe ♪

♪ I just wanna be yours ♪

♪ Secrets I have held in my heart ♪

♪ Are harder to hide than I thought ♪

Think we could stay here forever?

What about the world?

Wouldn't we be missed?

I don't care.



I'm just so, so happy you're here.

With me.

Thanks to you.

Only to you.

And now that I have you back,

I'm never letting you go.

Sweet dreams.

Nick?

Nick, what's wrong?

- You're okay.
- No.

- It's just a nightmare. Shh.
- It was him.

No.

He was here.

The Dark Lord.

No.

No, he's not.

He is far away.

He can't hurt you anymore.

Everything's gonna be all right now.

It's okay.

No, no, Roz...

Nick's doing great.

It's just...

I wanna spend the day with him.

Like the whole day, so I was hoping
you could maybe cover for me at school?

- We're talking about the carnival.
- A carnival tonight?

Yeah, that sounds amazing.

- I have a ride.
- Sure.

When and where shall we meet you?

See you then.

Babe?

I'm gonna go to breakfast.

Will you come down when you're done?

Absolutely.

No!

No!

So, how's poor Nicholas doing, darling?

Here we go.

- As well as can be expected.
- Yeah?

How's his little foot?

Well, his malformation is a remnant
of having the Dark Lord inside him.

Um... given enough time,
it should revert back on its own.

Probably.

Well, you must be so happy
now that he's back in your arms,

all safe and cozy?

And in your bed.

I imagine it was quite the reunion.

All we did was talk
and hold each other, Aunt Zee,

and that is all I'm gonna say about that.

Well, then, I know what we can discuss.

The sheer insolence of you going to Hell
without our permission.

You could have been killed.

You could have gotten your friends killed.

Oh, honestly.

First Purgatory, now Hell.
What's next? Heaven?

Bet you missed this while you were gone.
Breakfast with a side of inquisition.

Ambrose, as you know,

we've reopened the Academy
in your absence,

and we're short of teachers.

I cannot be a teacher if that is
what you're asking me, Auntie Zee.

Why can't you?

The thing is,

my time abroad has illuminated me
to everything I do not know.

Magicks beyond our experience
and imagination.

If I'm to be a master of the mystic arts,
I must read, I must research.

Well, then, you can be
the Academy's librarian.

What about Cassius?

Oh. He's on death's doorstep.

Hmm.

Zelda?

Are you coming down with a cold?

How dare you?
I've never been sick a day in my life.

- Morning, everyone.
- Morning, my darling.

Hey, have a seat. I've saved you a plate.

No, that's all right, Ms. Spellman,
I'm not really hungry.

Actually, we should get going.
Nick's walking me to school.

And then straight to the Academy, I hope.

You've been gone too long, Mr. Scratch.

And Sabrina, I'll be expecting you

as soon as your day
at Baxter High is finished.

- 3:30, shall we say?
- Absolutely.

I'll be there.

Obviously, we're not going
to the Academy today.

And I'm not going to Baxter High.

- We're not?
- No.

We're playing hooky.

I just got you back.
I wanna spend the whole day with you.

And then Roz said
there's a carnival opening tonight.

- How does that sound?
- Divine.

But simply not meant to be.

Lilith.

Mr. Scratch, did you miss me?

You won't take me back.
I'd sooner die first.

I'm not here for you.
Sabrina is needed at court.

- Sabrina is?
- I am?

Why would Sabrina be needed in Hell?

It's a long story,
but in order to get you out of Hell,

I had to...

claim the throne.

So you did as Lucifer asked?

You're Queen of Hell?

Well, technically, yes, but not really.

I made Lilith my regent
so she could handle the day-to-day.

Yes, but you foolishly threatened
the Infernal Court with a reformation.

And now they're demanding
to hear your plans.

They've gathered
at Pandemonium, so if you...

Oh, I'm not going.
I have plans with Nick.

As regent, there's only so much I can do.

That's fine, but like I said...

I think you should go.

- What?
- That is,

I mean, if this is something
that you need to do...

It is.

I don't feel right about leaving you.

Sabrina...

go.

Do what you do best
and be a total badass.

And we can meet up at the Academy.

I'll be back by lunch.

- Order! There will be order.
- Yes.

Order?

We are the lords of disorder.

You demanded an audience with the Queen.

Now you must let her speak.

Outline her reformation.

For starters,

I want a grand accounting
of all the souls in Hell.

Until then, I want a freeze
on any more deal-making with mortals.

What about pre-existing contracts?

We must collect on them.

Only after I review each contract

and make a decision
on a case-by-case basis.

Respectfully, does she have the time,

what with all her cheerleading and such?

Silence! Silence!

If you'll let the Queen finish.

We've heard enough.

I, Caliban, demon prince of Hell,

challenge the Morningstar
to her seat on the throne.

Look upon this scroll.

I have gathered 666 signatures
of the highest born of Hell

to endorse my challenge.

By infernal law of the court of Hell,
it must be accepted.

- What?
- Is that true?

Technically, yes.

Or you can simply forfeit the throne.

Oh, don't even.

Then I challenge you on a quest for...

the Unholy Regalia.

The regalia are the three most powerful
occult objects in history.

Relics that have been lost to the ages,
mind you.

Legend has it, he who finds
and collects the relics

may take his seat on the throne,
whether they be Morningstar or not.

Do you accept my challenge, Sabrina?

Yes. Accept it.

I accept.

Then begin with Herod's crown.

All hail King Herod,
who slaughtered innocent babes.

Yes.

Find his crown,

return it to its rightful place
in Pandemonium,

and you will be one step closer
to the throne.

What if it's rigged?

The contest.

What if Caliban and the kings
already know where the regalia is,

and this is just a setup?

It's true.

I put nothing past them,

but no one knows where the items are.

Not even the Dark Lord.
Else he would have destroyed them.

So, if I find Herod's crown,
will that put to bed Caliban's challenge?

There's a trinity of objects, so...

probably end up being
the best two out of three.

Nothing's ever easy.

No, it is not.

There's a leadership opportunity
I wish to discuss with you, Prudence.

I'd like to designate you
Prefect of Students.

Oh, uh... what would my duties be?

Administrative.

Helping me, teaching,
of course, in addition...

High Priestess. It's awful.

You must come at once.

What in Lilith's name?

More of the Dark Lord's handiwork?

No, it's Gerald.

Just Gerald. He tried to fly, but...

He's never fallen like this before.

Stupid boy.

As if we weren't already short
on warlocks.

Elspeth?

Elspeth, have you caught a cold?

Get thee to a warm bed.

And tell your classmates:

Henceforth,
there is to be no unsupervised flying.

Not till we understand
what's happening to us.

The coven is in crisis.

A warlock dead, coven members
stricken with fevers and weakness.

Zelda, are you sure you're okay?

I'm fine, Hilda.

Except for the fact that we're clearly
under some kind of mystical attack.

A curse?

From another coven?

Look, the Council, when they were here,

they talked of experiencing
a loss of potency.

For now, until we know more,
it is business as usual.

Hilda, tend to the sick.

Distract them,
so they do not ask too many questions.

These are trying times, witches,

but we must stand together.

And we will prevail.

Mrs. Meeks,
I have those attendance reports for you.

Ms. Wardwell, are you going
to opening night of the carnival?

Everyone in town is buzzing about it.

A carnival?

Adam and I used to go
to carnivals together.

Hey, Harvey.

Hm?

You and Roz are going
to that carnival, right?

Yeah.

Apparently, with Sabrina and Nick.

You can totally come with us too.

I was actually thinking about asking
that new guy Robin to go with me.

That's awesome.

His hair is so cool.

You totally should.

The only thing is...

I've never asked anyone out before.

Gotcha.

What if...

you asked him to go with all of us?

As a group thing?

But then we can all peel off
and leave you two alone.

Yeah, that sounds slightly less scary.

To tell you the truth,

I'm feeling a little nervous
with Roz these days too.

I think she wants us to take it
to the next level.

But I... I've never been to the next level
and I just, you know,

wanna be ready for when it happens,
if it happens...

...but, like,
do I bring it up to her or...

Hey, guys.

Sorry I'm late.

What?

What did I miss?

So my little cousin is Queen of Hell?

Shh! Not so loud, Ambrose.

Not so loud. Okay.

I'm assuming, because you're still alive,

- that the aunties do not know?
- No.

Where is Lilith in all of this?

Lilith is my regent.
She's handling most the workload,

but this prince of Hell
challenged my queenship,

and now I have to find
King Herod's crown before he does,

and I am praying you can help me.

Wait a sec. You're on an Arthurian quest
for the Unholy Regalia?

Starting with Herod's crown.

Will you help me?

How can I say no to a queen?

My sentiments exactly.

Nick, I was just gonna come find you.

That's okay. I found you instead.

Do you have plans for lunch?
'Cause I know a place.

I can't tell you how much it fortifies me,
after this morning's wretched incident,

to see you so enthralled
by your Satanic scriptures.

Oh, we're not reading scriptures,
Directrix Spellman.

What are you reading, if not your studies?

What's this?

- What's happening?
- It's Buxom and the Beast.

It's a witchy romance novel.

Everyone's obsessed.

"Bodice ripper,
in the most delicious of ways.

This tale of a humble witch
and her incubus lover...

being terrorized by the witch's
loveless spinster hag of a...

sister."

By Helga Stillwell.

"And as she stood
before her incubus lover,

his member throbbing
beneath his sweat-drenched jodhpurs,

she felt the firm leather riding crop
in her hand

and was reminded of what it was
to love and be loved."

Hilda Spellman!

Or should I say, Helga Stillwell?

Care to explain this trash?

Hey, don't call it that.

Look, you asked me
to keep the children distracted.

I did, but not with some poorly written,
luridly plotted roman-à-clef.

Have you no shame?

Well, clearly not.

And how did you get this

worth-less-than-a-penny
dreadful published?

Dr. Cee helped me.

- Oh, did he?
- Mm-hmm.

And did he also tell you to paint me,
your very own sister,

as some desiccated villain?

Write what you know,
isn't that what they say?

What?

- Hilda.
- All right.

Now is not the time to reinvent yourself
as a pulp novelist.

We are in a moment of grave crisis.

Your responsibility is to the Academy,
and only the Academy.

No, it's not!

It's not. I care, of course I care.

I'll do what I can
to help protect these little lambs.

But the Academy,
it's your calling, it's not mine.

You wanted to be Directrix.
You wanted to be High Priestess, not me.

You are a Spellman. You have a duty...

I have a duty to myself to be happy.

We'll talk about this tonight.

No, we won't, because I'm going
to the carnival tonight with Dr. Cee.

So, you cook your own dinner.

Fine.

Well, you can forget
about your fledgling career

as a purveyor of lurid fiction.

There.

Much better.

Hey, Robin.

Oh, hey, Theo. What's up?

Have you seen these fliers?

I guess there's, like, a carnival in town
and opening night's tonight.

Cool.

Wanna go?

With me and my friends,
it'd be like a group thing.

Yeah. Sure.

Really?

Awesome.

Cool.

Cool.

Oh, my gosh.

- Hey.
- What?

- Roz, hey.
- Well, I was...

Harvey.

Harvey. Hey.

We were just talking about the carnival.

You are not gonna believe
what Billy's phobia is.

Clowns?

What?

They're friggin' terrifying.

You're still taking me, Billy.

Roz, wanna come with?
There's room in Billy's car for one more.

Oh, I'm good. I... I have a ride.

I'm going with friends,
but I will see you guys there,

clowns, or no clowns.

If one comes near me,
I'll knock him on his ass.

What?

Going with friends?

Roz, I thought we were more than that.

Of course we are.

I only said we were going with friends
because we are, aren't we?

Yeah, we are, but...

So we're good?

Yeah, we're good.

Okay.

How'd your reformation go over?

You know, shockingly,
the Kings of Hell didn't embrace my ideas

with the gusto I was hoping for.

No kidding.

You think they'd be excited
to have a 16-year-old witch

tell them how to do their business,
but no.

Not so much.

Mind if we join you?

Actually...

So, Nick, how's your foot doing?

It's fine, Agatha. Why do you ask?

Word on the street is
you've got a thick, fleshy clubfoot now.

- Well, that's only temporary.
- No, but really,

what's it like having been
with both Sabrina and her daddy?

Yeah, Nicky, we heard
the Dark Lord made you his bitch.

- Shut up, you half-wit.
- I'm warning you two.

All this time,
you're pretending to crush on Sabrina

when really it's her dad
you had the hots for, huh?

You so don't wanna be pushing me
right now, Agatha.

Or what, Nicky?

Will you wrestle us into submission
the way the Dark Lord wrestled you?

Okay, that's enough.

You know what?

You two skanks can go to heaven.

You are so lucky the Church of Night
only has, like, 12 members right now.

Otherwise,
I would totally smite your asses.

- Sabrina?
- Ambrose, I gotta find Nick.

I believe I may have found Herod's crown.
Or at least generally.

Time is of the essence, is it not?

How'd you find it?

Good old-fashioned research
into its provenance.

I started with its last known whereabouts,
namely the tomb of Herod.

Officially, Herodiam, as it is called,

was first excavated
by Italian archaeologists in 1962.

And unofficially?

By an American archaeologist
and warlock, Edward Robinson, in 1838.

From there, the crown changed hands
several times from one Jakey Huisman

to Aleister Crowley

to, well, an American soldier,
Private Benjamin Blossom,

who recovered the crown
from Hitler's bunker in 1945.

Now from there, Blossom,
and here's the kicker,

sneaked the crown back
to his home town of...

If you say Greendale, I'll lose my mind.

Close, but no.

- Riverdale, where he was murdered.
- Of course.

By a group of occultists
who were after the crown,

- but they never found it.
- Well, how are we gonna find the crown?

Riverdale's a big, scary place.

True...

but we have this.

A compass?

An immoral compass.

Now this one belonged
to the Flying Dutchman,

or was it the Ancient Mariner?

I don't remember, but yours truly
has recalibrated this one

to be highly sensitive
to energies from occult items.

For instance, your Book of the Beast.

Ambrose, you're a genius.

Once we reach Riverdale,

we follow the compass
to wherever it leads us.

I don't understand.

They didn't hide it in the ground.
They hid it in the tree.

Clever Blossoms.

Another, Gray.

Perhaps you should stop
while you're ahead?

You're looking a tad...
what's the word?

Busted, dear Nick.

So are you.
You're breaking out like a teenager.

You needn't torture yourself.

I've known plenty of heathens
who've had the Dark Lord inside them.

They were somewhat battered, yes.

But in the end, they recover.

I mean, a few even say they reached
a new almost transcendent level of pain.

Where it became pleasure.

You know...

this place used to be fun.

Shall I summon a playmate for you?

Or two?

Tempting, but no.

You'll be back.

They always come back.

Look alive.

The crown of Herod.

Will wonders never cease?

Give it to me. The ax?

Wait, what are you going to do?

Destroy it
so no one can use it against me,

- then return what's left of it to Hell.
- Wait now. Hold on, cousin.

This crown is radiating
an enormous amount of energy.

The compass could sense it. I can feel it.

If I could borrow it for a few hours
to study its properties,

I might be able to harness its power,

restore our coven's strength.

I don't know, Ambrose.

Go to the carnival with your friends,

that should give me enough time.

Then you may do with it as ye see fit.

Fine, fine.
But then we destroy it together.

Promise?

Melvin?

Have you seen Nick anywhere?

I've been looking all over for him.
Elspeth said to try the library.

Yeah, he was in here
researching something.

He'd been at Dorian's.

And then he asked
if the Desecrated Church was empty.

Auto amputation?

What the heaven?

Oh, no.

Nick, Nick! Stop. What are you doing?

It won't cut through.

It won't even draw blood.
I can't get rid of this thing.

Nick, what?

It is going to take some time,
but it will change back. Okay?

Aunt Hilda said so.

Ambrose said so.

But please, don't hurt yourself.

He's still inside me, Sabrina.

I can feel his residue inside of me.

No, no, no. He's not.

It's after effects, like PTSD.

I don't feel like myself anymore, Sabrina.

Nick.

Nick, what can I do?

Nothing.

I'm sorry, Sabrina.

Do you understand, it was such a total...

I can only imagine.

So, let's start filling your head
with good things.

Okay?

Like, are you still up
for the carnival tonight?

The crown of Herod.

Could the crown be tapped
as a source of power,

of energy for the witches of Greendale?

We're saved.

The crown appears to be
charging my wand with its energies.

What makes you so powerful?

Is it magnetism? Is it hexcraft?

Is it the blood magic
of 1,000 babes slaughtered?

Why... do I smell maple syrup?

I went to sleep with my crown,

but someone disturbed my slumber
and took my beloved.

Was it you?

I would never...

Le-heh Lishon Achshav.

My beloved,

tell me...

who awoke us?

Sabrina.

The girl who would be Queen.

Sabrina.

Welcome to Professor Carcosa's
traveling carnival and phantasmagoria.

- Thank you.
- Corn dog.

Step right up.

To quote a friend,

"We show you things that you don't know,

we tell you of places you'll never go.

From mountains
where maddened winds did blow...

the islands where zephyrs breathed

sweet and low.

We've risen to Heaven, plunged below...

...for we wanted
to make it one hell of a show."

You okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, I just thought
I saw something for a second.

Oh, there they are. Sabrina.

- Something bad?
- Hey, guys.

Sorry, we're late.

You're right on time.

Harvey's about to inhale
his third funnel cake.

You must be Robin.
I'm Sabrina. This is my boyfriend, Nick.

Hey.

It's nice to meet you.

Hey, Scratch. How's it going?

Fine, Kinkle.

How's it going with you?

Dude, relax, it was just a question.

- I am relaxed.
- Okay.

- Shall we go in?
- Great idea.

Let's see what rides they have.

Rides!

Oh my, yes.

A gamut of them.

Bumper cars, a tilt-a-whirl,
a haunted house.

Okay.

- Cool, good.
- Great.

- That was weird.
- I know.

I didn't expect her
to actually like

what I'd written in my book.

She'll get over it, Hilda. It's...

Well, I don't know that she will, Dr. Cee.
Or read it.

I mean, she has never yet accepted
that we're just different witches,

and we just want different things
and different lives.

I just want to grow old
in a little cottage with a fire

and my spiders and a dog.

Not a stuffed one.

And I just, I don't know,

I wanna knit and read and watch reruns
of The Munsters on TV.

I want that too, Hilda.

I've wanted it for a while now.

- Hilda?
- Yeah.

You all right? What are you doing?

No.

Dr. Cee.

I've been waiting
for the right moment to ask.

Hildegarde Antoinette Spellman,

will you marry me?

Yeah.

Yeah. Absolutely.

Step right up. Step right up.

Test your virility.

You, sir, perhaps you?

Are you a He-Man,

or a 98-pound weakling?

- Yeah, I'll give it a try.
- That's a brave fellow.

Prove your mettle.

It's just like a pickax in the mines.

You got this, babe.

Tough luck, young buck.

Don't be displeased.

It's not every man who bests Hercules.

Who's next?

I'll take a shot.

All right, Kinkle? Step aside.
See how a real man does it.

- Hey.
- Billy, that was amazing.

Can I pick which prize you get?

Whichever one you want.

Yeah, better at that than you,
that's what I'm saying.

Yeah.

Would you like a palm reading?

Please.

Sit.

Curious.

This is your lifeline.
It shows me you have a question.

Um... I...

I had a fiancé...

Adam.

I fear something terrible
has befallen him.

I'm so sorry.

He is gone forever.

But you already know this.

Because you were there.

I...

I wasn't.

At least, I don't remember.

Wait.

Tell me.

You did not consummate your relationship
with Adam?

What?

How dare you?

No. No, you did not.

Good day...

Madame.

It's cold up here.

Is that better?

Wait.

There's something
you should know about me.

I...

I didn't always look like me. I was...

I used to be different.

I wasn't born Theo...

It's okay.

I mean, you're Theo now.

And, um...

in case it wasn't obvious,

I really like you, Theo.

I like you too, Robin.

There you are.

Are you okay?

Why'd you leave?

I'm fine, but let's get outta here.

I know you're probably not
in the carnival mood,

but thanks for rallying.

Hey, your dad must be pretty happy, huh?
In the end, he got what he wanted.

You on the throne, his daughter.

- Ruling Hell.
- I did that for you, Nick, not for him.

Yeah, still,
a part of you must like it, right?

Nick.

We haven't talked about it yet, but...

what was it like for you?

Inside the flesh Acheron?

Uh, Sabrina, I...

Right now, I don't wanna think about that.

I just...

want to ride the tunnel of love
with my girlfriend.

Is that cool?

Sure.

Yeah.

Yes.

That's 20.

- Nick!
- Sabrina, run!

You stole my crown.

Disturbed my sleep.

- Go!
- What's happening?

It's part of the show, but just go.

Angustos in via!

Ad quos eieci te ad infernum daemonium...

Caliban.

Help me.

Beautiful as you are, I am tempted.

No.

I think not.

My crown.

My beloved.

Nick!

You awoke me and started this misery.

You will weep at the rending of your skin
when I flay you alive.

Then I will slaughter all of the innocents
of this place,

as I did centuries ago in Judea.

I will start with your flesh.

Explodere Centena Millia!

I followed his bloody footprints.

And...

We need to go.

Now.

I'm weak, but I could probably
clean up this mess

before teleporting myself home.

I have a question.

Who was the guy that looks like Thor
and stole Herod's crown?

Uh...

...that's Caliban.
He's literally the worst.

He's a prince of Hell,
and he's made of clay, which is weird.

Uh-huh.

But we don't have to
talk about that right now.

Let's just go home. Get cleaned up.

Actually, I, um...
I wanna go back to the Academy.

To my own bed,
till I get things back to normal.

Nick, are you okay?

Yes.

Yes, Spellman.

I'm fine.

Promise.

That's the first time you've called me
Spellman since you came home.

Yeah.

Nicky boy.

Rough night?

I was attacked by King Herod.

She might not see it yet,

but I'm pretty sure
my girlfriend has a new suitor.

Isn't that always the way?

- Let me get you an absinthe.
- The bottle, Gray.

And the playmates you offered me before?

I changed my mind. I want them.

One of each.

As you wish.

♪ Pink bubbly
Looking at the view ♪

♪ White robe in a chain or two ♪

♪ I always knew
There was no fruit to bite ♪

♪ Now I got the world
Ooh, baby ♪

♪ Cherry blossoms ♪

♪ Falling from the sky ♪

What's your pleasure?

Pain.

Make me forget.

♪ Blind me as I rise ♪

What happened to you, Adam?

What happened to me?

Caliban! Caliban!

Yeah!

There you are.

What does my lady think?

It's just temporary
until I win the infernal crown, of course.

We could have died.
Why didn't you help us?

Help you?

This is a competition.

I was watching you.

Closely.

If you were watching me,

did you know King Herod
was coming for his crown?

My lady, everyone knows
King Herod is a guardian.

I assumed you would kill him.

Or he would kill you.

Or perhaps...

you would kill each other.

A true monarch knows strategy.

Now, you didn't answer my question.

The crown suits me, don't you agree?

The first round's yours.

Enjoy it.

It's the last one you'll win.

And I swear,

I'll slice your throat ear-to-ear
before I let you have my throne.

Sabrina.

The Kinkle boy,
you can smell the innocence on him.

The spinster Wardwell too.

She's a virgin.

The Putnam child...

is vestal, as well.

There is a seer who runs with them.

- She could pose a threat to us.
- Leave her to me.

The earth is ready.

This seed is ready.

Bring the blood sacrifice.

Siuil linn a duine uaine.

♪ Gods of old... ♪

Néallta fola. Siuil linn aduine uaine...

♪...let this blood bring us bounty ♪

♪ Let the green one be reborn ♪

♪ Gods of old ♪

♪ Let his blood bring us bounty ♪

♪ Let the green one be reborn ♪