Cheers (1982–1993): Season 8, Episode 16 - Finally!: Part 2 - full transcript

Despite being a self-professed womanizer himself, Sam can no longer support Robin's cheating on Rebecca since she is his friend. Sam managed to get Rebecca out of Little Wally's with an exaggerated lie without her spotting Robin with his other date, but he is now regretting doing so, that is until Robin bribes Sam's silence by promising to buy Cheers back for him. Sam ultimately decides to decline the bribe and tell Rebecca the truth. When he does, she doesn't believe him. She thinks he's just jealous. But Rebecca learns the truth when she hides in Robin's limousine to surprise him, when in turn he surprises her when his other date, ballerina Christine Davi, bounds into the limousine. Christine has some morals and dumps Robin right then and there. Perhaps Rebecca has some morals as well, but it's going to take a little while for herself to figure that out. With Christine out of the way, Robin's affections are down to two: Rebecca and a chargé d'affaires at the French consulate. Rebecca has to decide between how best to get Robin or do what is right. Maybe both will result in the same end goal.

Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.

Hey, isn't that one of
the Righteous Brothers?

Yea, actually Robin Colcord flew
him in to sing to Rebecca earlier

wow, which one is he?

I think that's righteous
brother number 2

no.
That's Bill Medley.

Hey, tall, dark, and
pipes down to your shorts.

What are you doing back here?

My plane doesn't
leave for three hours.

I had nowhere to go.

Would you like a drinking buddy?



You bet!

Hey, hey, hey.

Can we buy you a beer?

Sure.

All right!

Let's see.

Everybody pony up 6 cents.

Hey, Bill, did you ever
sing with the Beatles?

Do you have your
own... wait.

Whoa.

One at a time.

I hope you don't mind these questions,
but after all, we're paying for that

drink.

No.



I love it.

In fact, this is what it's all about...
being with the people, discussing music

with fans.

You're knowledgeable
and aware, and I dig it.

What was your question?

Oh.

Well, Mr. Medley, how come you
changed your name from Righteous?

♪ Makin' your way in the world
today ♪ takes everything you've got ♪

takin' a break from all your
worries ♪ sure would help a lot ♪

♪ wouldn't you
like to get away? ♪

♪ Sometimes you ought to go ♪
where everybody knows your name ♪ and

they're always glad you came ♪ you
want to be where you can see ♪ the

troubles are all the same ♪ you want
to be where everybody knows your name

♪ you want to go where people know
♪ people are all the same ♪ you want

to go where everybody
knows your name ♪

Hey, Woody.

Hey Sam is Rebecca here yet?

No she left a message.. I'll be back
later, right now I'm on top of the...

Moub?

?

Let me see this.

No Woody, it's not an "m" it's a "w
she's gonna be on top of the "woub" let

me see this.. There's an
"ou" there, Cliffie you see?

She's on top of
the wa-wa-waoud."

She's on top of the world the
expression is "top of the world."

No, no.

Look at it, doc.

Read that.

Well, I stand corrected.

She is indeed "on
top of the woulb."

Poor kid.

What do you mean, Sammy?

After you guys left Little Wally's last
night, she went into the ladies' room

to get some burger grease off of her
blouse you'll never guess who pulls up

Robin Colcord with
another ther woman.

That figures.

Come on.

No sooner does Squire Colcord
end Rebecca's celebrated four years of

celibacy, then he's off baling hay with
some other wench the very next night.

The man is absolutely nothing
more than a rich, spoiled, narcissistic

philanderer.

I hate myself for
envying him so.

Well, if Rebecca's still riding high, I
guess she doesn't know about Robin's

other babe how'd she miss
spotting him at Little Wally's?

You know that place.

You can't see your hand in front of
your face, what with the vapors coming off

Wally's food and off
of Wally himself.

How'd you handle it, Sammy?

You know me, Daddy Cool.

If she left the bathroom,
she'd see him, so I jumped in.

I think I handled
it pretty smoothly.

Fire!

Fire!

Aah!

Aah!

Get out through the window.

You use the door.

Why can't I use the door?

With that greasy blouse, one spark,
you'll go up like a roman candle.

Smart idea.

Ok, good.

Uhh, Uhh, Uhh.

It's too small!

It's too small!

All right.

Ah, shoot.

Don't panic.

Uh, uh...

Ok, I got it.

I'll squeeze you through.

Take off your clothes
and rub soap all over.

Ok, fine.

Plan "b."

Let's get out of here now!

Put this jacket over your head.

I'll lead you out.

But what about you?

Take off your blouse.

Put it over my head.

Sam!

Quit kidding around!

Careful, flames!

Wow.

Great looks and all that savvy.

Sam, if you had a spigot in your
forehead, I'd marry you in a second.

I hope that fire didn't
do a lot of damage.

I love Little Wally's.

Woody, there was no fire.

I just made that part up.

Well she must have looked like a darn
fool with your coat wrapped around her

face screaming fire

well no, not at Little Wally's

you did fine work Sammy.

Guys thank you but the more I
think about it the more I wonder if did

the right thing.

She should know what that guy is
up to berfore she gets in too deep,

maybe I should tell her take
it from a mailman.

People want to kill the messenger
or at least overturn his cart and kick

the mail around the hallway.

I agree there's a lot to
be said for discretion.

It's entirely possible Rebecca may
grow tired of Robin and thus avoid the

heartache.

Then on the other hand, as one who was
cuckolded by a lover deeply trusted, the

longer led on, the
harder the fall.

I'm just not sure that Rebecca can
be as strong and forgiving as I was

when...

That bitch Diane dumped me.

You know, Sam, I had this
Cousin Skeeter who was in the Army

a bunch of years ago well, he
never saw any action,

although he did blow off his
thumb in a mortar accident.

Big show-off.

Anyway, he was going out with this
girl, and she went to the kiwanis dance

with this other guy,
laird danielson.

I saw them kissing
behind the propane tanks.

I was in the same
spot you're in now.

What cha' do?

Nothing, I'm waiting to
hear what you do

I'm gonna tell her

there he is, my hero.

He was probably too modest to tell
you all, but this man rushed me through a

burning building with his coat over my
face and then led me out of the fire and

I'm telling you the fire was so close I
could feel the flames licking my ears

it was hot, all right.

Anyway Sam, I just want to
tank you again for saving my life

listen, I probably should have
told you this last night

sit down, this
isn't going to be easy

"nix e Sammy a
Robbie a" the what?

Oh, Robin.

My sweet baby.

A budding rose.

I brought it myself so you
wouldn't miss its bloom.

Oh, my God.

This is so cool.

Oh, Robin, I can hardly wait till
we're alone together again tonight.

About tonight, I'm
terribly sorry.

An emergency board
meeting has been called.

How about a late
supper afterwards?

The meeting could last
through the night.

I could last till the morning.

Let's put that to
the test tomorrow.

Ok.

I'll rest up.

Olé.

Ow!

Are you ok?

No.

I'm fine.

I'm just going to go
put this in water.

Sam, I want to thank you for your
discretion last night, that is if, running

along side a screamming
woman with a sack over her head

can be called discretion

that wasn't a sack, it
was my jacket

really? Please buy one
for me, huh?

At any rate I wanted to thank
you I'm sure you've been in similar

circumstances and know how
embarrassing it can be.

It was nice finding an
ally in that situation.

Ally, nothing.

I didn't want to
see Rebecca hurt.

Nor do I, so I hope you'll keep up
your silence if the event should ever

repeat itself.

"Emergency board meeting."

You got another date
tonight, don't you?

Sadly, um...

Yes.

I don't want to help you, pal.

I'm surprised.

We have the same
weakness... beautiful women.

Men like us share a common bond.

We don't share
anything together.

Rebecca's my friend.

You got nerve to think
I'll help you cheat on her.

So you're taking
an ethical stand.

Well let me counter with
this one phone call from me

and you can have your bar back

why do you think that you
can always buy anything...

The whole bar?

No down payment?

Cheers will be yours Sam

ok, I don't feel very good
about this, though.

Yes, well, you can print
that on your cocktail napkins.

Well, I'm off for a...

Strenuous board meeting.

I thought I got that thorn out,
but it still feels like it's in there.

Ahh.

Sam, you said you had
something important to tell me?

Yeah.

I think I just made a
deal to buy back the bar.

That's wonderful!

Isn't that fun?

You get the bar.

I get Robin.

Don't you feel great?

I...

Feel...

Bad...

♪ you lost that lovin feeling ♪

hi welcome to Cheers.

We're glad to have you here.

♪ Whoa, that lovin'
feeling ♪ hi there.

You look like a couple in love.

This is a place for love

does this place for
love have a waitress?

We've been waiting twenty
minutes

oh I can take your
order, might I suggets two

hot toddies and a walk hand
in hand along the Charles

to be honest, Susan and I
haven't been getting along

lately, give us
whatever you're having

Sammy, if she doesn't cut out that
mushey stuff she's going to lose that

lovin' feeling
from the neck down.

Oh, come on.

It's not that bad, is it?

Elaine, your break time's over.

[PLAYING YOU'VE LOST
THAT LOVIN' FEELING]

I can't believe she's
got a harp in here.

Look how great it
slices these eggs

♪ whoa, oh, oh, ohh

Elaine, Elaine, sweetheart...

I never thought I'd say this to a
woman, please give your fingers a rest

would somebody give me a hand?

Yea, be happy to did
you know the harp is the

grandfather of modern-day
guitar?

Apparently, early minstrels were
much larger people

nevermind, I'll lug it myself

well, suit yourself.

Yeah, they, uh, had hands
the size of small dogs

Sammy, you got to stop Rebecca.

You got to tell her before
this goes any farther.

Yea Sammy, put us out of our misery
she's replacing the beer nuts with these

little candy hearts that say,
"hold me, I'm yours, lovey dovey."

Hey.

"Free beer."

Oh, no, Mr. Peterson.

Fool me once.

Tell her now.

"If it were done when 'tis done,
then t'were well it were done quickly."

I'm sorry.

Move it, pal!

I'm not going to say anything.

I think I'm doing the
right thing here c'mon guys,

what she doesn't
know won't hurt her

Sam you've proven to be a big
disapointment to me

oh, c'mon man don't...

I always
modeled myself after you.

Not the way you're hung up on
your looks... that's kind of shallow.

Not the chasing after women
part, because that's silly.

But the other part.

There is no other part.

There's the part of you that's
always looking out for your friends.

That's the thing that's made you my
hero, and now, leaving Miss Howe on the

hook like that...

I may have to go back to my
old hero... St Thomas Aquinas

I found somebody to sublet my
apartment.

Why, you're moving?

I can't expect Robin
live in my little hovel.

You two are gonna
move in together?

It's the logical next step
everything's been going so well.

Man, I love the nineties.

♪ You've lost that...

Hey, you start singing again,
it's going to be

a very short decade

sweetheart listen don't...

Don't... move out of your
apartment

uh...i got something to
tell you

what is it?

This is the last thing
you want to hear.

I wish I wasn't the one
to have to tell you.

Go ahead and tell me.

Robin is seeing other
women behind your back.

What?

There was no fire last night, just
Robin and some tall, auburn-haired babe

with legs up to her eyes.

How can you do this to me?

What?

Just because you're jealous, the
first chance you get, you try and

submarine Robin.

You need help... real
help, not Frasier.

Woah...

Listen to me a second.

I'm telling you the truth.

I thought you were my friend.

I am your friend.

Robin was going to buy this
bar back for me if I stayed quiet.

Oh, brother!

How low can you sink?

You expect me to believe a story
like that about my sweet baby?

Honey...

The guy doesn't have
a board meeting.

He's with that woman right now.

Fine, fine.

I'm going to prove you wrong.

I'm going to wait outside
that board meeting.

Yes, I am.

He'll come out, I'll see him, we'll
smooch, and then we'll laugh about

your pitiful lies.

I don't care if she
doesn't believe me.

You know, I feel good about myself
because I told the truth, when it

comes right down to it, I'll
be able to live with myself.

Sammy, come here.

Yeah?

What?

You could've had the
bar back you jackass!

Surprise, darling!

What's going on?

Oh!

Robin, who is this?

Who am I?

Who are you?

Well, I see introductions
are in order.

Christine Davi, New York City Ballet,
Rebecca Howe, proprietor of Cheers.

Sam was right.

God, why does this
always happen to me?

How can somebody as
beautiful as I am be such a loser?

Robin, I thought
we had something.

You're seeing her, too?

Well, this evening is off
to a rollicking start.

Robin, I'm not the kind of person
who fools around with just anybody.

You're saying I am?

Ballerina, make
like a swan and die.

Robin, I need a one-woman man.

And I am a one-woman man.

I'm just still looking
for the one woman.

But I've got it narrowed down to
three... you two and a little chargé

d'affaires in the
French consulate.

Well, I don't care who you are.

I have my self-respect.

No one treats Christine
Davi like this.

I... I...

Christine, uh...

So...

Now I guess it's down to two.

Rebecca, I am lucky to find
someone so understanding as you are.

Not so fast, Robin.

I have a little
self-respect myself.

You're going to have to
choose, Robin, right now.

Is it going to be me or
your chargé d'affaires?

Well, honestly, I...

Don't know.

Fine.

Then promise me you'll
think about it a while.

Hi, Sam.

Hello.

I owe you an apology.

Ah, I'm sorry.

Feeling all right?

Me?

Fine.

Well, did you tell
him to take off?

No.

That would be the easy
thing for me to do.

He promised he wouldn't
see any more women?

No.

That would be the easy
thing for him to do.

What are we left with here?

A deeper understanding
of our relationship and, uh...

What we as mature adults are
going to do to make it work out

you bought that?

For your information Robin
wants very much to get married.

He does?

Yes he does.. To me
or one other woman

he narrowed it down.
That's a nice touch.

Sam.

Come on.

Something worth having
is worth fighting for

you sold out

I did not sell out

I merely entered a fair
contest where the payoff

would satisfy
any woman's wildest dreams.

You really believe that?

I believe every single word.

Oh, boy.

What am I going to do?

I feel so cheap and so used.

Oh, God, Sam.

I can't do this to myself.

I have to break
it off with Robin.

It's the right thing to do.

Oh, God, why do I
feel so miserable?

It's never the right thing
unless you do feel miserable.

I know.

I'm just going to
tell him it's over.

I'll just say to him, um...

That's it, sweet baby.

I mean, you know, Robin Colcord
is not worth me losing my dignity.

Oh, yeah.

Dignity...

Why not?

I've tried everything
else in my life.

Rebecca, I knew
I'd find you here.

That's fascinating.

Everyone else at the end
of the evening goes home.

You people come here.

This is your chance.

You give him hell.

I'm going to make him
wish he'd never been born.

Robin...

Mr. Colcord...

Rebecca you were very understanding
about that little incident back in my

limo, and that kind of
understanding should be rewarded.

I'd like you to have
this diamond bracelet.

It's not much, though it does
come with a security guard.

It's gorgeous.

No.

Robin, you know, I don't love you for
your money or your diamonds or the fact

that you can buy
my friends' bars.

I love you because I think you're very
interesting and...I thought you cared

about me.

I'm sorry.

I'm ashamed of myself for
trying to buy your feelings.

I'm still the same man,
and I still care for you.

By that, do you mean you...

Care for me but still
want to see other women?

Exactly.

If I'd offered this bracelet
to my chargé d'affaires,

she would've
snatched it up in a blur.

I admire your standards.

You know, this definitely
puts you in the lead.

Must go.

Would you care to join me?

Did you hear that?

I am winning.

I'm winning...

Listen to me a second you're giving
up something very valuable you're going

to regret this the
rest of your life.

You're right.

I will take that bracelet.