Cheers (1982–1993): Season 8, Episode 1 - The Improbable Dream: Part 1 - full transcript
Rebecca is in agony. She's not sleeping because she's having erotic dreams about Sam. She's used to dreaming about the rich and powerful, like Evan Drake, Donald Trump, Ted Turner and Robin Colcord. To help her over her troubles, she asks Frasier and Lilith for some free advice. The problem with that act is not so much their advice or lack thereof, but that Sam overhears. To capitalize on this new information, Carla suggests to Sam that he make Rebecca go to sleep, and as she gets to the part in her dream where she and Sam are getting it on - and Sam should be able to tell by Rebecca's moaning and rolling around - he translate the fantasy of the dream into reality by actually being there in the flesh. He thinks it's a good idea. Rebecca reluctantly takes a nap in her office. When she's asleep, Sam sneaks into her office and places what he thinks are suggestions into her head. Sam's move doesn't have quite the effect he was hoping but he still may end up with the girl after all, unless someone else walks into the office.
SAM: "Cheers" is filmed
before a live studio audience.
Gents, mind my corona
with lime, will you?
I've got to see a man
about an equine.
There goes one elegant guy.
Yeah.
Nothing says class
like a chunk of fruit
floating in your beer.
Oh, come on, norm.
It's yuppie nouveau
to have a little fruit
floating in your beer.
Call me old fashioned, cliff,
the only thing I
like floating in beer
is my liver.
You know, it's quite remarkable.
To float something
as heavy as a wedge of lime,
beer must have quite
a high buoyancy factor.
So do your loafers.
Do you think an olive
could float in beer?
Yeah. Only one way
to find out, my friend.
Well, I guess it doesn't.
But, you know, I think
maybe an orange rind,
being of the citrus family
and a close cousin of the lime,
just might float.
Ah! Your hypothesis has been
proven correct, Dr. Peterson.
Thank you very much,
Nurse Clavin.
I always wondered if a lit
match would float in beer.
You always wondered
that, huh, wood?
All right, Woodrow.
Ooh.
Not only does it float,
it smells like heaven.
I got one.
How about his car keys?
Oh, good.
Here he comes.
Ahh. Now I've room enough
for you, my friend.
Boy, that lime
really adds something.
♪ Makin' your way
in the world today ♪
♪ takes everything you've got ♪
♪ takin' a break
from all your worries ♪
♪ sure would help a lot ♪
♪ wouldn't you like
to get away ♪
♪ sometimes you want to go ♪
♪ where everybody
knows your name ♪
♪ and they're always
glad you came ♪
♪ you want to be
where you can see ♪
♪ our troubles
are all the same ♪
♪ you want to be ♪
♪ where everybody
knows your name ♪
♪ you want to go
where people know ♪
♪ people are all the same ♪
♪ you want to go ♪
♪ where everybody
knows your name ♪
So, this is your apartment, huh?
Yes, Sam. You've
been here before.
Yeah, but never after
our first date.
Going to invite me in?
I don't know, should I?
I don't know, should you?
You're asking the wrong person.
I haven't had a date
here since 1986.
I definitely think you
should invite me in.
All right, come in,
but it's just for
a cup of coffee.
OK.
You know, I'm still amazed
that you agreed
to go out with me.
What was it that broke you down,
my charm, my hot looks,
pity?
That last thing.
My coffee maker's on the blink.
Is, uh, instant OK?
Sure, sure.
OK if I turn on the radio?
Sure.
ANNOUNCER: Are your lips
cracked, dry, and bleeding?
Do you have scaly red
patches in your facial...
♪ If you want to be my love ♪
♪ I will take you up... ♪
You know, I was...
I'm all out of instant.
I don't suppose
you'd be in the mood
for a little hot tang?
Why don't we, uh...
Why don't we just
skip the beverage part
and maybe dance?
Sam.
Oh, come on. Dancing's
permitted on the first date.
All right, but just dancing.
OK.
♪ In the sky ♪
♪ I will wipe your tears away ♪
ow.
Are we still just dancing?
Yes, ma'am.
Magic song.
Mm-hmm.
I'm glad it's not
the righteous brothers.
I never did stand
a chance against them.
♪ You never close your eyes ♪
♪ anymore when I kiss... ♪
Did you plan that?
Right, right. I made
a lot of tips this week
and went out and
bought a radio station...
W.S.A.M.
Uh...
Are we still just dancing?
In most countries, yes.
Why is your neck so hot?
Because somebody's
breathing on it.
You know, it's been so long,
I thought I'd forgotten.
I guess it's kind of like
riding a bicycle.
You think it's like
riding a bicycle,
it has been a long time.
♪ You've lost
that lovin' feelin' ♪
♪ now it's gone, gone, gone ♪
oh, Sam...
Don't...
Stop.
OK.
I said don't stop.
Look at you.
♪ Well, if we
just keep on tryin' ♪
♪ but, baby ♪ ha ha ha!
♪ It's useless denying ♪
♪ you've lost
that lovin' feelin' ♪
♪ oh, that lovin' feelin' ♪
♪ you've lost
that lovin' feelin' ♪
♪ now it's gone, gone, gone ♪
oh, Sam, yes, yes.
Yes!
No!
Oh. Oh, god.
It was just a dream.
It's just a dream, Beck-Beck.
It's just a dream.
Morning, boss.
You shut your fat face
right now!
I was just going to tell you
if you want me,
I'm out fixing the window.
I don't want you.
I don't want you at all.
Aw, somebody got up
on the wrong side of bed.
Don't you use the
word "bed" with me.
I forbid you to use
the word "bed."
Sorry.
You make me sick.
Last time I buy after
shave at a gas station.
Carla, come here.
Does this make you sick?
Yeah.
But only because you waited
till after I was married to do it.
Does my after shave
make you sick?
Oh. Yeah.
Well, somebody
should have said something.
Frasier, don't
use your gold card.
I exceeded the limit
this morning
buying biodegradable diapers.
They're not cheap,
they're not pretty,
but they'll disintegrate
within 50 years.
She loves her earth.
And look at these marvelous
toys I bought today.
Oh, our child will love these.
I'm sure he can't
wait to be born.
Monochromatic, high contrast...
Did they run out of colors?
Oh, no, Woody.
You see, tests have proven
that simple black and
white geometric designs
stimulate the young infant's
mind to a remarkable degree.
I don't know. I was
raised on pink and blue,
and look how I turned out.
In your face, doc.
The evidence at hand
notwithstanding,
current child development
experts agree
that infants respond
with great excitement
to toys like these.
Whoo. Yeah. They say
"this stuff cost a fortune.
My parents must be rich."
Well, come, Lilith.
We're off to lunch.
Besides, the boys
here have to get back
to that mind-expanding
and all-important
tastes great/
less filling debate.
Yeah, so where did we end up?
I think it was tastes great.
No, it was less filling.
No, it tastes great.
Less filling.
Tastes great.
Oh, Frasier, Lilith, excuse me.
I know you're probably
on your way somewhere...
Yes, we are.
But when aren't we?
It's just that I have
this really bad problem.
It's getting so bad that I
can't even sleep at night.
I'm sorry, Rebecca. We
do have this important lunch.
You see, I've been
having these erotic dreams.
Well, lunch be damned.
Our friend is in need.
What about Russell and Pam?
Oh, hang Russell and Pam.
They just want to weasel some free
psychological advice out of us anyway.
So, Rebecca, go on
about your dreams.
I guess you could say
the main problem is
that this guy who's...
I don't know, I guess you could
say he's starring in these dreams...
Is somebody I definitely
should not be dreaming about.
Ah...
Because even though he's
a sexy and successful doctor,
he's also happily married
and about to be a father.
Yes.
There is no fruit so sweet
as that which is forbidden.
Frasier, stop before you
embarrass yourself further.
What?
Darling, you're
the love of my life,
but even I don't have
erotic dreams about you.
So who is it... Mel
Gibson? Harrison Ford?
That young man with
the wavy brown hair
and the leg muscles
who comes in here all
sweated up after bowling
and has nodded hello
to me twice?
It's Sam.
Sam Malone?
Can you believe it?
He's the last person
I would want to see
in my dreams.
I mean, I played
Donald Trump's board game,
I watch Ted Turner's network,
I just finished
Robin Colcord's new book,
and somehow in my dreams,
I end up dancing
on my back with Sam Malone.
Perhaps Sam represents
someone else,
someone you fear craving
even more.
Frasier, it's not you.
Get over it.
Take a joke.
Just please tell me
that it's not Sam Malone
in my dreams,
so I don't have to take a
bath with my electric toaster.
Well, Rebecca,
there are those who believe
that dream imagery
is basically symbolic.
If you subscribe to that theory,
Sam could signify
any number of things...
It could be a need for you to get
back in touch with your inner self.
It could be spiritual awakening.
It could be you and your god.
It's Sam.
It's Sam.
It's Sam.
Oh, god, some evil, disgusting,
perverted little part of me
is attracted to Sam.
I'm going to kill him.
Now, Rebecca,
it's not his fault.
Sam doesn't know
what your dreams are.
You're right.
And he can never know.
Because if it ever, ever got out
that I've been having sex
dreams all week about Sam,
I could never ever show
my face in this bar again.
Well, fear not.
You have confided
in professionals.
Your trust is sacred.
Thank you.
[LAUGHING]
[COUGHS]
Ho! Hands up
in the air.
You OK?
What's so funny?
I'm sorry.
Uh...
I can't tell you.
It's... it's... it's...
It's not something that
a man can tell a woman.
This is something
a man can only tell
a whole crowd of people.
Get the guys!
Hey, you nimrods, trash flash!
Step into
Mr. Malone's office,
and assume the trash position.
What's up?
Heh heh heh!
Well, it appears that
our lovely miss Rebecca
has been having x-rated dreams
about a certain young man
that we all know and admire.
That guy with
the wavy brown hair
who comes in here
all sweaty after bowling?
No, Woody. Me.
I thought you said he has young.
Hey, how did you
find out, Sammy?
Well, I accidentally
overheard Rebecca
telling Frasier and Lilith.
Shrinks get all the
great scam, huh?
You ought to get an earful
of a mailman's day, pal.
Yeah, I do, cliff.
Now, fellas, the big question is
how to make use
of this information?
He's going to make
use of this information.
I got a suggestion.
Shoot.
If I were Rebecca,
I guarantee this would work.
Somehow you get me
to go to sleep.
Go on.
Go on.
All right. Now, you
sneak into the room,
wait until I'm
dreaming about you.
You're going to know
when that is
because of the moaning
and rolling around.
"Moaning," "rolling,"
good, good.
When I'm just at
my most receptive,
if you get my drift,
you lay a kiss on me
that will melt diamonds.
I wake up, but I think
I'm still dreaming,
so I don't resist,
and then we make hot and
sloppy till the cops arrive.
Carl, you're a genius.
Rebecca's going to
go for this in a big way.
The hell with Rebecca.
It was my idea.
I'm going to go get some stuff
to help her go to sleep.
Woody, cover for me, will you?
You got it, Sam.
Yeah. Woody, would
you cover for me, too?
Where are you going?
Home. I just remembered
I left something turned on.
What?
Me.
Where's Rebecca?
She's in the office.
Wait a second.
You're not going to
put the moves on her
here in the bar, are you, Sammy?
Well, I figure if I try it here
and something goes wrong,
I'll just be embarrassed
in front of you guys.
But if I sneak into her apartment
and something goes wrong,
I'll be embarrassed
in the back of a squad car.
Let's pour this into a saucepan
and put a little
low flame under it.
You're not going to
try to put her to sleep
with a warm cup of milk,
are you?
Excuse me, cliff,
but have you slept
with over 1,000 women?
Put a low flame under it, Woody.
Stop just before
it makes a skin.
OK, one more thing here.
What do you think
is going to make her
go to sleep faster,
Brahms's "Lullaby"
or "The Sounds of Spring
Showers in a Rain Forest"?
You know, Sammy,
that question
has plagued mankind
since the beginning of time.
How to lure to our bed the
elusive Morpheus, son of Hypnos,
known to the sand dwellers
of Rome as Somnus.
If you really want to put her
to sleep, Sam, record him.
Uh, Rebecca, could I
speak to you for a second?
Listen, I know I upset you
in the office this morning.
No, no, no. It's me who
should be apologizing.
I'm sorry.
I was going through something
that was sort of personal,
but I really shouldn't have
taken it out on you.
Oh, no, that's OK. Sit
down here for a minute.
["RAINFALL SOUNDS" TAPE PLAYS]
You know, you're
probably just a little off
because you're so tired,
so very...
Very tired.
Is it raining outside?
I hope I remembered to put
the windows up on my car.
I'm sure you did.
I'm very, very sure.
Why are you talking so slowly?
Does it seem like
I'm talking slowly?
It's probably just
because you're so...
Very, very tired.
You're right.
I am tired.
I haven't slept well all week.
No kidding. Why don't
you go take a nap?
No, I can't do that. There's
too much work out here.
Oh, what the hell, you guys do
all the work around here anyway.
Carla, will you take my calls?
I'm going to take a short nap.
Ow! Sammy the sandman
strikes again.
Did you see that?
Fellas?
Sam, I think you'd better
take that tape with you.
It's put everyone to sleep
except Woody and me.
[SNORING]
[SNORING]
Oh, good golly,
Woody sleeps with his eyes open.
Yeah.
That is scary,
but it does explain a lot.
[WHISPERS] Rebecca.
Mmm.
Rebecca, this is
your recurring dream.
How does it start again?
What are you doing in here?
I'm not here.
I'm in your dream.
Go back to sleep.
Go back to sleep.
You know. You know. How
do you know about my dream?
What dream?
Oh, man, I hate you.
I hate you!
You didn't tell your stupid
friends about this, did you?
Oh, please, give me
some credit, will you?
You told them!
I hate you for knowing.
I hate you for telling
your friends.
I hate you for being
in my dreams!
I hate my dreams! I hate
myself for dreaming my dreams.
Hey, then smack
yourself for a while!
God...
I don't believe this.
Look at what I'm dreaming about!
A bartender
in an off-the-rack shirt
with a button missing.
It's not missing.
I always keep it unbuttoned
so I can scratch my stomach.
Oh, god!
God.
You know, I used to dream
about being swept away
by some rich, powerful,
successful man.
And now, even in my dreams,
I'm settling
for a stomach scratcher.
Hey, rich people scratch.
Don't you understand
what I'm trying to say?
I was taught to win,
to strive, to achieve.
I was taught
to never ever settle.
Sweetheart,
how do you explain
working in this bar
for the last three years?
Has it been that long?
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
That was a low blow.
I know settling stinks,
but there are a lot of
things that are worse,
like never taking a chance,
always waiting for something
better to come along.
What if something doesn't come?
It will.
Sweetheart, when was
the last time
you had a close
relationship with a man?
What do you mean by close?
Close.
Oh, yeah, like, if you
mean close, close, close,
well, that would've been
just right before
I started working here.
Three years ago.
Has it been that long?
Oh, god, Sam,
maybe you're right.
Maybe my dreams are right.
I mean, what the hell,
I mean, it's not like
the Donald Trumps
and Robin Colcords of the world
are exactly beating down
my door.
All right, Sam,
I'm going to do it.
I'm going to take the plunge.
You and I are going
to take a shot at it.
All right.
OK.
What do you say I, uh,
pick you up around 8:00?
Pick me up now.
Mmm.
Hoo! Boy, I like the way
I pick you up.
So, come on, tell the truth.
Isn't this better than waiting
around for some Mr. Wonderful
to come walking
through the door? Huh?
Oh, sorry to interrupt.
I'm looking for Rebecca Howe.
What?
Robin Colcord.
Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.
Have I caught you at a bad time?
No...
You caught me just in time.
before a live studio audience.
Gents, mind my corona
with lime, will you?
I've got to see a man
about an equine.
There goes one elegant guy.
Yeah.
Nothing says class
like a chunk of fruit
floating in your beer.
Oh, come on, norm.
It's yuppie nouveau
to have a little fruit
floating in your beer.
Call me old fashioned, cliff,
the only thing I
like floating in beer
is my liver.
You know, it's quite remarkable.
To float something
as heavy as a wedge of lime,
beer must have quite
a high buoyancy factor.
So do your loafers.
Do you think an olive
could float in beer?
Yeah. Only one way
to find out, my friend.
Well, I guess it doesn't.
But, you know, I think
maybe an orange rind,
being of the citrus family
and a close cousin of the lime,
just might float.
Ah! Your hypothesis has been
proven correct, Dr. Peterson.
Thank you very much,
Nurse Clavin.
I always wondered if a lit
match would float in beer.
You always wondered
that, huh, wood?
All right, Woodrow.
Ooh.
Not only does it float,
it smells like heaven.
I got one.
How about his car keys?
Oh, good.
Here he comes.
Ahh. Now I've room enough
for you, my friend.
Boy, that lime
really adds something.
♪ Makin' your way
in the world today ♪
♪ takes everything you've got ♪
♪ takin' a break
from all your worries ♪
♪ sure would help a lot ♪
♪ wouldn't you like
to get away ♪
♪ sometimes you want to go ♪
♪ where everybody
knows your name ♪
♪ and they're always
glad you came ♪
♪ you want to be
where you can see ♪
♪ our troubles
are all the same ♪
♪ you want to be ♪
♪ where everybody
knows your name ♪
♪ you want to go
where people know ♪
♪ people are all the same ♪
♪ you want to go ♪
♪ where everybody
knows your name ♪
So, this is your apartment, huh?
Yes, Sam. You've
been here before.
Yeah, but never after
our first date.
Going to invite me in?
I don't know, should I?
I don't know, should you?
You're asking the wrong person.
I haven't had a date
here since 1986.
I definitely think you
should invite me in.
All right, come in,
but it's just for
a cup of coffee.
OK.
You know, I'm still amazed
that you agreed
to go out with me.
What was it that broke you down,
my charm, my hot looks,
pity?
That last thing.
My coffee maker's on the blink.
Is, uh, instant OK?
Sure, sure.
OK if I turn on the radio?
Sure.
ANNOUNCER: Are your lips
cracked, dry, and bleeding?
Do you have scaly red
patches in your facial...
♪ If you want to be my love ♪
♪ I will take you up... ♪
You know, I was...
I'm all out of instant.
I don't suppose
you'd be in the mood
for a little hot tang?
Why don't we, uh...
Why don't we just
skip the beverage part
and maybe dance?
Sam.
Oh, come on. Dancing's
permitted on the first date.
All right, but just dancing.
OK.
♪ In the sky ♪
♪ I will wipe your tears away ♪
ow.
Are we still just dancing?
Yes, ma'am.
Magic song.
Mm-hmm.
I'm glad it's not
the righteous brothers.
I never did stand
a chance against them.
♪ You never close your eyes ♪
♪ anymore when I kiss... ♪
Did you plan that?
Right, right. I made
a lot of tips this week
and went out and
bought a radio station...
W.S.A.M.
Uh...
Are we still just dancing?
In most countries, yes.
Why is your neck so hot?
Because somebody's
breathing on it.
You know, it's been so long,
I thought I'd forgotten.
I guess it's kind of like
riding a bicycle.
You think it's like
riding a bicycle,
it has been a long time.
♪ You've lost
that lovin' feelin' ♪
♪ now it's gone, gone, gone ♪
oh, Sam...
Don't...
Stop.
OK.
I said don't stop.
Look at you.
♪ Well, if we
just keep on tryin' ♪
♪ but, baby ♪ ha ha ha!
♪ It's useless denying ♪
♪ you've lost
that lovin' feelin' ♪
♪ oh, that lovin' feelin' ♪
♪ you've lost
that lovin' feelin' ♪
♪ now it's gone, gone, gone ♪
oh, Sam, yes, yes.
Yes!
No!
Oh. Oh, god.
It was just a dream.
It's just a dream, Beck-Beck.
It's just a dream.
Morning, boss.
You shut your fat face
right now!
I was just going to tell you
if you want me,
I'm out fixing the window.
I don't want you.
I don't want you at all.
Aw, somebody got up
on the wrong side of bed.
Don't you use the
word "bed" with me.
I forbid you to use
the word "bed."
Sorry.
You make me sick.
Last time I buy after
shave at a gas station.
Carla, come here.
Does this make you sick?
Yeah.
But only because you waited
till after I was married to do it.
Does my after shave
make you sick?
Oh. Yeah.
Well, somebody
should have said something.
Frasier, don't
use your gold card.
I exceeded the limit
this morning
buying biodegradable diapers.
They're not cheap,
they're not pretty,
but they'll disintegrate
within 50 years.
She loves her earth.
And look at these marvelous
toys I bought today.
Oh, our child will love these.
I'm sure he can't
wait to be born.
Monochromatic, high contrast...
Did they run out of colors?
Oh, no, Woody.
You see, tests have proven
that simple black and
white geometric designs
stimulate the young infant's
mind to a remarkable degree.
I don't know. I was
raised on pink and blue,
and look how I turned out.
In your face, doc.
The evidence at hand
notwithstanding,
current child development
experts agree
that infants respond
with great excitement
to toys like these.
Whoo. Yeah. They say
"this stuff cost a fortune.
My parents must be rich."
Well, come, Lilith.
We're off to lunch.
Besides, the boys
here have to get back
to that mind-expanding
and all-important
tastes great/
less filling debate.
Yeah, so where did we end up?
I think it was tastes great.
No, it was less filling.
No, it tastes great.
Less filling.
Tastes great.
Oh, Frasier, Lilith, excuse me.
I know you're probably
on your way somewhere...
Yes, we are.
But when aren't we?
It's just that I have
this really bad problem.
It's getting so bad that I
can't even sleep at night.
I'm sorry, Rebecca. We
do have this important lunch.
You see, I've been
having these erotic dreams.
Well, lunch be damned.
Our friend is in need.
What about Russell and Pam?
Oh, hang Russell and Pam.
They just want to weasel some free
psychological advice out of us anyway.
So, Rebecca, go on
about your dreams.
I guess you could say
the main problem is
that this guy who's...
I don't know, I guess you could
say he's starring in these dreams...
Is somebody I definitely
should not be dreaming about.
Ah...
Because even though he's
a sexy and successful doctor,
he's also happily married
and about to be a father.
Yes.
There is no fruit so sweet
as that which is forbidden.
Frasier, stop before you
embarrass yourself further.
What?
Darling, you're
the love of my life,
but even I don't have
erotic dreams about you.
So who is it... Mel
Gibson? Harrison Ford?
That young man with
the wavy brown hair
and the leg muscles
who comes in here all
sweated up after bowling
and has nodded hello
to me twice?
It's Sam.
Sam Malone?
Can you believe it?
He's the last person
I would want to see
in my dreams.
I mean, I played
Donald Trump's board game,
I watch Ted Turner's network,
I just finished
Robin Colcord's new book,
and somehow in my dreams,
I end up dancing
on my back with Sam Malone.
Perhaps Sam represents
someone else,
someone you fear craving
even more.
Frasier, it's not you.
Get over it.
Take a joke.
Just please tell me
that it's not Sam Malone
in my dreams,
so I don't have to take a
bath with my electric toaster.
Well, Rebecca,
there are those who believe
that dream imagery
is basically symbolic.
If you subscribe to that theory,
Sam could signify
any number of things...
It could be a need for you to get
back in touch with your inner self.
It could be spiritual awakening.
It could be you and your god.
It's Sam.
It's Sam.
It's Sam.
Oh, god, some evil, disgusting,
perverted little part of me
is attracted to Sam.
I'm going to kill him.
Now, Rebecca,
it's not his fault.
Sam doesn't know
what your dreams are.
You're right.
And he can never know.
Because if it ever, ever got out
that I've been having sex
dreams all week about Sam,
I could never ever show
my face in this bar again.
Well, fear not.
You have confided
in professionals.
Your trust is sacred.
Thank you.
[LAUGHING]
[COUGHS]
Ho! Hands up
in the air.
You OK?
What's so funny?
I'm sorry.
Uh...
I can't tell you.
It's... it's... it's...
It's not something that
a man can tell a woman.
This is something
a man can only tell
a whole crowd of people.
Get the guys!
Hey, you nimrods, trash flash!
Step into
Mr. Malone's office,
and assume the trash position.
What's up?
Heh heh heh!
Well, it appears that
our lovely miss Rebecca
has been having x-rated dreams
about a certain young man
that we all know and admire.
That guy with
the wavy brown hair
who comes in here
all sweaty after bowling?
No, Woody. Me.
I thought you said he has young.
Hey, how did you
find out, Sammy?
Well, I accidentally
overheard Rebecca
telling Frasier and Lilith.
Shrinks get all the
great scam, huh?
You ought to get an earful
of a mailman's day, pal.
Yeah, I do, cliff.
Now, fellas, the big question is
how to make use
of this information?
He's going to make
use of this information.
I got a suggestion.
Shoot.
If I were Rebecca,
I guarantee this would work.
Somehow you get me
to go to sleep.
Go on.
Go on.
All right. Now, you
sneak into the room,
wait until I'm
dreaming about you.
You're going to know
when that is
because of the moaning
and rolling around.
"Moaning," "rolling,"
good, good.
When I'm just at
my most receptive,
if you get my drift,
you lay a kiss on me
that will melt diamonds.
I wake up, but I think
I'm still dreaming,
so I don't resist,
and then we make hot and
sloppy till the cops arrive.
Carl, you're a genius.
Rebecca's going to
go for this in a big way.
The hell with Rebecca.
It was my idea.
I'm going to go get some stuff
to help her go to sleep.
Woody, cover for me, will you?
You got it, Sam.
Yeah. Woody, would
you cover for me, too?
Where are you going?
Home. I just remembered
I left something turned on.
What?
Me.
Where's Rebecca?
She's in the office.
Wait a second.
You're not going to
put the moves on her
here in the bar, are you, Sammy?
Well, I figure if I try it here
and something goes wrong,
I'll just be embarrassed
in front of you guys.
But if I sneak into her apartment
and something goes wrong,
I'll be embarrassed
in the back of a squad car.
Let's pour this into a saucepan
and put a little
low flame under it.
You're not going to
try to put her to sleep
with a warm cup of milk,
are you?
Excuse me, cliff,
but have you slept
with over 1,000 women?
Put a low flame under it, Woody.
Stop just before
it makes a skin.
OK, one more thing here.
What do you think
is going to make her
go to sleep faster,
Brahms's "Lullaby"
or "The Sounds of Spring
Showers in a Rain Forest"?
You know, Sammy,
that question
has plagued mankind
since the beginning of time.
How to lure to our bed the
elusive Morpheus, son of Hypnos,
known to the sand dwellers
of Rome as Somnus.
If you really want to put her
to sleep, Sam, record him.
Uh, Rebecca, could I
speak to you for a second?
Listen, I know I upset you
in the office this morning.
No, no, no. It's me who
should be apologizing.
I'm sorry.
I was going through something
that was sort of personal,
but I really shouldn't have
taken it out on you.
Oh, no, that's OK. Sit
down here for a minute.
["RAINFALL SOUNDS" TAPE PLAYS]
You know, you're
probably just a little off
because you're so tired,
so very...
Very tired.
Is it raining outside?
I hope I remembered to put
the windows up on my car.
I'm sure you did.
I'm very, very sure.
Why are you talking so slowly?
Does it seem like
I'm talking slowly?
It's probably just
because you're so...
Very, very tired.
You're right.
I am tired.
I haven't slept well all week.
No kidding. Why don't
you go take a nap?
No, I can't do that. There's
too much work out here.
Oh, what the hell, you guys do
all the work around here anyway.
Carla, will you take my calls?
I'm going to take a short nap.
Ow! Sammy the sandman
strikes again.
Did you see that?
Fellas?
Sam, I think you'd better
take that tape with you.
It's put everyone to sleep
except Woody and me.
[SNORING]
[SNORING]
Oh, good golly,
Woody sleeps with his eyes open.
Yeah.
That is scary,
but it does explain a lot.
[WHISPERS] Rebecca.
Mmm.
Rebecca, this is
your recurring dream.
How does it start again?
What are you doing in here?
I'm not here.
I'm in your dream.
Go back to sleep.
Go back to sleep.
You know. You know. How
do you know about my dream?
What dream?
Oh, man, I hate you.
I hate you!
You didn't tell your stupid
friends about this, did you?
Oh, please, give me
some credit, will you?
You told them!
I hate you for knowing.
I hate you for telling
your friends.
I hate you for being
in my dreams!
I hate my dreams! I hate
myself for dreaming my dreams.
Hey, then smack
yourself for a while!
God...
I don't believe this.
Look at what I'm dreaming about!
A bartender
in an off-the-rack shirt
with a button missing.
It's not missing.
I always keep it unbuttoned
so I can scratch my stomach.
Oh, god!
God.
You know, I used to dream
about being swept away
by some rich, powerful,
successful man.
And now, even in my dreams,
I'm settling
for a stomach scratcher.
Hey, rich people scratch.
Don't you understand
what I'm trying to say?
I was taught to win,
to strive, to achieve.
I was taught
to never ever settle.
Sweetheart,
how do you explain
working in this bar
for the last three years?
Has it been that long?
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
That was a low blow.
I know settling stinks,
but there are a lot of
things that are worse,
like never taking a chance,
always waiting for something
better to come along.
What if something doesn't come?
It will.
Sweetheart, when was
the last time
you had a close
relationship with a man?
What do you mean by close?
Close.
Oh, yeah, like, if you
mean close, close, close,
well, that would've been
just right before
I started working here.
Three years ago.
Has it been that long?
Oh, god, Sam,
maybe you're right.
Maybe my dreams are right.
I mean, what the hell,
I mean, it's not like
the Donald Trumps
and Robin Colcords of the world
are exactly beating down
my door.
All right, Sam,
I'm going to do it.
I'm going to take the plunge.
You and I are going
to take a shot at it.
All right.
OK.
What do you say I, uh,
pick you up around 8:00?
Pick me up now.
Mmm.
Hoo! Boy, I like the way
I pick you up.
So, come on, tell the truth.
Isn't this better than waiting
around for some Mr. Wonderful
to come walking
through the door? Huh?
Oh, sorry to interrupt.
I'm looking for Rebecca Howe.
What?
Robin Colcord.
Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.
Have I caught you at a bad time?
No...
You caught me just in time.