Charmed (1998–2006): Season 8, Episode 5 - Rewitched - full transcript

"I call upon the ancient powers
to mask us now and in future hours. "

"Hide us well and thoroughly,
but not from those we call family. "

Previously on Charmed..

Oh, my goodness. Is that me?

Is it the you you envisioned?

You know, this just might work.

Being magical is part of who they are.

You may have been able to change your identities,
but you didn't change that.

No. I guess I just miss the old me a little.

Dex Lawson. Nice to meet you, Dex.

You, too.



He's the one, according to every magical calculation
there is, it all times out perfectly.

You know, my vision of us getting married,
when I'm supposed to get pregnant. All of it.

I can help you guys fight the demons
so you don't have to do it all the time.

What's the catch?

Teach me everything you know about witchcraft.
So when can we go vanquish demons?

Ok. 3 dead innocents, 3 weeks,
all near Memorial Hospital.

Yes, and one witch that's gonna vanquish
a whole lot of...

Nothing.

What?

Nothing. Look, all we need you to do is surveillance,
especially because it's your first solo outing.

Oh, come on!

How can you vanquish a demon
until you know what you're up against?

I'll bring extra potions.

No.



You are going to go, you are going to I.D. the demon,
and then you are gonna come up with a plan after that.

You know, I just have one question.

Are you guys really this overly protective,
or are you just afraid of letting go?

What?

I'm just sayin', there's got to be
a reason you keep holding me back.

Or maybe you just secretly wanna be
out there doing it yourself.

That's ridiculous. First of all,
I don't want to be fighting demons anymore,

let alone teaching you
how to fight demons anymore.

Great. Then why don't you loosen the leash
a little and let me show you what I can do.

'Cause I'd really rather you not die.

Ok.

Go get my car, drive to the hospital,
find out who's attacking the innocents, ok?

We go from there.

Okay, you got it.

Eh, Billie. Empty those pockets.

What?

Empty 'em, Missy.

Back ones, too.

You guys are so not fun.

Help me, help me please!
Help me! My wife is...

Hey, buddy, what's wrong?

I crashed my car, and my wife, she's pregnant,
she's pinned, I can't get her out.

Where is she?

She's down there. Please help me!

Hey, where did you say she is?

Gross!

Ok, come on. We need to get you
to a hospital. Come on.

Charmed 805: Rewitched

Transcript: Greatouille

Synchro: Greatouille

Translation: Lucile76, RonanaSplit,
Launka, Demonclem, Chryssie, Titelilie

Rereading: Ronanasplit, Chryssie,
Titelilie, Lucile76
Also thanks to any1 from forom.

Oh, come on. It's only
for a few hours tomorrow,

and you yourself said you haven't been
meeting any cute guys lately.

Ok, there are not gonna be any cute guys
there because they're all desperate,

and that is why they are doing speed dating.

That is not necessarily true.

Oh yeah, then how come you're so nervous
about having it at the club?

Hey, it wasn't my idea.
It was Dad's idea, as was bingo night.

I'm just trying to do
a little damage control.

Well, you cancelled that, so cancel this.

I can't. It's too late. Which is why I need your help.
Come on. I need to up the babe quotient a little.

So you're pimping me out.

What? Do you wanna be homeless? Because that's what's
gonna happen if we lose our only source of income.

Thanks, Missy Guilt Giver.

I will resort to whatever I have to.
Besides, you might actually meet someone you like.

Baby Tylenol?

Top shelf. How is he feeling?

Ah, the fever's going down.
I'm gonna put him down early.

How's Wyatt?

Oh, you know... doing better.

You know, I think he should stay at your dad's
another day or so, just to be on the safe side.

Oh, I think I like your other alias better.

Well, too bad. Get used to it.

Hey, can I borrow a suitcase?

Closet.

So is Julie gonna be helping
with the speed dating?

Nope. I'm ovulating.

What?

You know, eggs, fertility, baby making?

Yeah, I got it. I know what
ovulating is, thank you.

Well, I'm supposed to get pregnant by Dex, right?
What better place to try than Napa?

Uh, I thought your premonition
was about you getting married to Dex.

Well, one step at a time. At least, that's what my
star chart keeps saying. I gotta get to work.

Work? What happened to love?

No time for that. Destiny calls.

Is that what we've been reduced to?
Loveless sex... pimping?

Yes.

Billie!

Yeah?

Just the girl I was lookin' for.
Are you by any chance single?

Why?

Forget it, Piper. She's not even old enough to drink.
So, how did the surveillance go?

The surveillance? Oh, it was fine.
It was great. It was totally fine.

Ok. Did you I.D. the demon?

Um... you know, actually, I...

I'll get that.

Paige?

Hi.

Hi. Can I help you?

Yeah, I think you can.
Agent Murphy, Homeland Security.

We need to talk.

Please, it wasn't their fault, Antosis.
The witch surprised them. They weren't prepared.

Except... you told me that
they could handle surprises.

That's one of the reasons why I brought you
and your little pests here in the first place.

Killing good Samaritans,
placing my mark across entire neighborhoods...

and of course, the ever-present risk
of the unexpected.

For example, now.

Now?

Do I kill you?

Or do I give you and your toothy
friends another shot at helping me get that territory?

Well, of course, if I have a choice,
I would rather...

You don't.

We've helped you get this far, haven't we?

Replacing us now might, uh, set you back,
open up the territory to other demons.

What about your witch?

She won't surprise us again.

She can't. We'll be waiting
for her next time.

I've been following you, Billie...
for a while now.

You have? Why?

I think you know why.

If I knew why, I wouldn't ask why, would I?

Cute.

Thanks.

Wasn't a compliment.

Look, I'm just trying to solve
a mystery here, Billie,

in the process, you know, maybe save a few innocent
lives, but I'm gonna need your help to do that.

I'm gonna need you to come clean about...

what it is that brought you here and
what you know about the Halliwell sisters.

Who?

Call anytime. Call. Soon.

Who was that?

Oh, that? That guy? Um... just a guy.

From Homeland Security.

What?

What did he say? What did he want?

Well, he said that...
he's been following me.

Why?

I don't know. He probably thinks
I know something about you guys.

Great. Just great.

Did he follow you to the hospital?

What hospital?

You didn't use your powers, did you?

Well, I had no choice.
The imps were attacking an innocent.

Imps?

According to the book, imps are these
gremlin-like creatures, but way nastier.

I know what imps are.

If he saw her use magic, we're screwed.

Why? He can't prove you're alive.
You don't even look like you.

Well, he must have known
you were connected to us somehow.

Otherwise, he wouldn't be
following you, right?

You shouldn't have sent her out.

She was just supposed
to go and I.D. the demon.

That's all that I did! Look, imps have an imp master,
so if we attack the imp master, we can...

No, Billie. They're guns for hire.
They could be working for any demon.

That's what I'm saying. We get the imp master
so he can tell us exactly where they are.

No. We're not gonna do anything.

But I think...

No buts. She's right.
If they're watching you,

that means they're watching us,
and we need to be careful.

So what are we supposed to do?

We just act normally and live our lives and
hopefully he'll go away, sooner or later.

We'll go to P-3 tomorrow
just like we planned and...

Great!

And you'll go to Napa with Dex.

Well, I can't go now.

Why? He's gonna be here in a few minutes.

Well, let's just say
I'm not in the mood anymore.

This ruse isn't really
working very well, is it?

Well, maybe we need to give it
a little more time.

You guys, I'm so sorry.

It's ok, sweetie. It's not your fault.

So much for happily ever after.

Oh, come on, come on, come on!
There's got to be some way to fix this.

I could put Murphy to sleep.
No, no. That won't work.

"To make a lover's dream come true. "

Well, maybe at least this one
will help Phoebe out.

Dex!

Hey.

What's wrong?

Uh... I'm so sorry.

"Hear these words, hear my rhyme,
bless these two in this time,"

"bring them both into the fold,
help them now cross love's threshold. "

Please believe me, this has nothing
to do with you. It's just...

Just what?

Well...

What are we waiting for?

I don't know. Let's go.

Hi. Listen, Top 40 only. Really, one power ballad,
and you'll never DJ in this state again. Seriously.

Hi. You. Come here, come here, come here. Table 8.
Water spots on the glass. Please fix it, fix it, fix it.

Jeff, did you do the final sound check?

Yeah, I sure did.

Ok, you need to relax just a little bit.

I'll have plenty of time to relax
when this thing tanks.

Why are you worried?
This is not going to tank.

Because it's what I do best, ok?

Dave, where are the mints? We need mints on
the table if we're gonna match-make here. Thank you.

People, help me out.

Ok, so listen, be nice and try not to blow
anyone off until at least the second round.

I'm here, aren't I?

Ok. All right, let 'em in.

You so owe me.

I love you, Mrs. Lawson.

Oh, say it again.

Mrs. Lawson.

I love it.

Uh, wait. I have to carry my bride
across the threshold, don't I?

Oh, what happened?

You dropped me, that's what happened.

Look, I'm sorry.

You should be sorry.

What, uh... I

Why was I just carrying you?

What are you wearing? What am I wearing?

Did we just do what I think we just did?

You... and just...
I need a...

What did you do to me?

Tell me, was your dad a thief?

No. Why?

'Cause he stole the stars
and put 'em in your eyes.

Yo, if I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet,
you and I... would be together.

You look like you need a break.

Yeah, I'm just a... little overwhelmed.

You wanna sit this session out?

No! No, actually, it'd be...
perfectly great if you stayed.

Ok. Well, my name's Whit.

Hello, Whit.

Hey. I'm Nick.

Hi. I'm married.

Yeah, I know. I read your bio, Jamie.

I work for 415 Magazine,
and I came here to do a piece on failing clubs,

but apparently, I'm in the wrong place.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, yeah. It seems you made
speed dating cool.

And that's news,
so I'd like to figure out how you did it.

What do you say I interview you
around 6:00 tonight?

6:00? Uh, yeah. Sure.

See you then.

Hello?

Billie did what?

So I said, "How much for the tool?"
and I've been working at Homes for Humanity ever since.

I think, uh.. you might just be
too good to be true.

Ditto.

Hello. Sorry to interrupt. Um...
I just got a call, and, uh, we need to go home.

Yeah, well, now's not really a great time.

Uh-huh. But it's a family emergency.

Excuse me.

Ok. I thought were done with those.

Uh, well, apparently not.

Fine. You take this one. I'll take the next.

Listen, Jo...

Look, I did you a favor by letting you drag me here.
Now you do me a favor by letting me stay.

Fine. Be that way.

Fine. I will.

Ah. Sorry about that. Where were we?

Dex, right?

Right.

I'm Julie. Jamie. Julie's cousin.

Where's the lucky bride?

Excuse me.

Who are you?

I was just trying to help!

How is this helping?

Well, I didn't mean for you to get married!

Well, you know what? I did.

And I cannot believe that you used magic
when we specifically told you not to!

I thought you just meant demon magic,
not innocent magic.

Oh, really? And this is innocent?

Well... you look fabulous!

You know what? Don't try to butter me up
with a compliment, Missy!

Are you out of your mind?
What did you do now?

Do I have to start from the beginning again?

I can't believe you did this,
with Agent Murphy watching our every move!

Skip down. I already went
through that with her.

I still don't know what I did was so bad.

This, this is what's bad.

Whoa. Hey. Wow, that's huge.

Wha-

Look, you guys. I am so sorry, all right.

I know, I know I screwed up with the imps, and,
which actually I really don't think that I did.

And then I felt bad, like I ruined your, your lives.
I just wanted to fix it. That's it!

By getting them married?

No, no, not exactly. But she was
supposed to get married anyway, right?

Yeah, but normally, not magically.

How do you know? How do you know
it wasn't supposed to happen exactly like this?

And she foresaw it, right?
She knew it was gonna happen.

That is completely besides the point!

I don't think so.

Well, I do, and I'm older,
so what I think counts more.

Maybe she's right. I mean,
maybe this is how it was supposed to happen.

How else would you explain
Dex and I getting married so quickly?

I'm confused. Are we mad at her or not?

We're not.

Yes! Good. Now can I go back to
looking for the imp demon?

No!

No? What about the next innocent?

What we have learned about this specific demon is we
don't get him, he's gonna keep going after these people!

Billie, if we get exposed, we may never be able
to help an innocent again. Do you understand that?

Yeah, but don't you think...

Billie, she's right. You gotta pick your battles,
and right now, this is not one of them.

I'm a nurse. Where is he?

My son. He's at the bottom of
the fire escape. He's not moving!

Call 911!

Where's your witch?

Maybe we scared her off last time.

If she came once, she'll be back. Witches can't help
but help other people. It's their fatal flaw.

What are you gonna say to him?

I don't know. I'm just gonna wing it.

Wing it? He's married.
Don't you think he's gonna want to know why?

Well, he doesn't have to know it was magic.

Still, what is he gonna think?

Maybe that he got really drunk?

I mean, the point is, it happened.
So that's what I have to focus him on...

For his sake and mine.

Wait, Phoebe, hold it. Hang on
a second. Hang on.

You're really gonna go through
with this thing?

I don't have a choice.

Yeah, but Phoebe-

I know that this is not
my Cinderella wedding,

but I also know that everything
happens for a reason.

So I have to just go with it.

'Till death do you part?

Whoo! Yes! Man! Oh, man!

Did you see that move?

Can you believe he held on to that thing?

Hi. How's it going?

It's good. We're watching the game.
Hey, did you know Dex here used to play?

No. I didn't know that.

Just a little college ball. Nothing, really.

Oh, come on. Nothing, really.

Uh, honey, I gotta get back to the club.

Ok. Well, I'll see you tonight.

Don't you wanna... walk me to the door?

Oh, uh, sure. Um. It was nice meeting you.
Congratulations.

Thanks.

Aren't you even remotely surprised
that they're married?

Not at all. She had that premonition.

Yeah, ok. Forget it. Listen,
just try to give them a little space, ok?

I have to go. I've got an interview.

An interview? Really, about what?

About P-3 and me... or, you know,
the me they think I am.

It's still the same you. At least
on the inside. You should be excited.

I am. Bye.

Bye, baby.

You changed.

Those things aren't very comfortable.

Do you even remember how you got it?

No.

Yeah, me neither.

Look, Julie, I don't know
what's going on here, but...

If you want to go down
to city hall and get this fixed, uh...

To get it annulled?

Well, yeah.

Is that what you want?

Look, I don't know what I want.
It's just really weird.

One minute we're off to Napa,
and the next minute we're like...

Yeah. I know. I mean,
it's weird for me, too.

Somehow you seem like... ok with it.

I mean, the fact that we just got married.

No. I mean, I'm not ok with it. It's just...

things happened to me in my life,
and I've learned to accept them, you know? I've had to.

This sort of thing happens
to you all the time?

Well, no. Not exactly this, but...

You know, other things have.

And it always turns out ok. And I guess
I've just learned to trust that.

Even though we have
no idea how we got married.

Well, I kinda feel like
that part's irrelevant.

I mean, really,
whether we remember it or not, it happened.

And I believe that everything
happens for a reason.

So, uh... I don't know. Maybe
we should just see this through.

It's not like we don't care
about each other.

True.

And I guess if things don't work out, we can...
just have it annulled in the future, right?

True.

It's crazy, you know.

Yeah. I know.

Ok, wait. I think maybe we should...
slow this down a little.

You're right. I'm sorry.

No, I'm-I'm sorry.

Uh... why don't you tell me
a little more about yourself?

Well, I, uh...

Screw it.

God, you're beautiful, Jo.

What's the matter?

I can't do this.

Ok. Ok. Um... was it something I said?

No. Absolutely not. It's not you. I'm sorry.

Phoebe! Are you in there? Phoebe, phoebe.

What?

So I think I found out
why the imp master is working for.

No, no, you don't understand.

I cross-referenced all the demons
that go after good Samaritans

and then the ones
that typically recruit others-

came up with a high level demon

Billie-

Then I narrowed it down to one demon.

His name is Antosis, but unfortunately
we need the Power of Three to vanquish him.

So I have a plan.

Forget it.

What do you mean, forget it?

I mean forget it. We are not doing this.

But that was before I found the demon!

A Power of Three demon.

So?

So? We can't take the risk!

But what about the greater good and everything
you taught me that you guys were about?

Ok, Billie, you have to understand
this is hard for us, also.

We're not doing this, and we'll talk more
about it in the morning, ok?

No. It's not ok.

Is everything all right?

No. It's not all right.

What are you doin'?

Oh, just sittin' here thinkin'.

Yeah? Mind if I join you?

No, of course not. Pull up a pillow.

What's the matter?

Oh, it's just been a very interesting day.

Tell me about it.

What? I take it Dex didn't like not
being able to go away?

Boy, are you behind in the news.

Oh, my gosh. He asked you to marry him?

No. We're actually already married.

It's not what you think.
Billie cast a spell.

She did what?

I know, I know,
and we already yelled at her.

Besides... I actually don't think
she did anything wrong.

In fact, I think she's the only one
doing anything right around here.

Ok. If you're trying to confuse me,
you're doing a bang-up job.

You ever wonder that...
maybe we made a mistake faking our own death?

Funny you should ask. I met this guy today and...
I kinda could have... liked him.

That's great, Paige.

No, actually, it's not.

How am I ever supposed to be with someone
when they're not with the real me?

Yeah. I keep asking myself
the same exact question.

Only, it's not just about guys.
It's everything.

I mean, you know, who we used to be,
the whole greater good thing.

Right.

And I'm just worried that the more we ignore it,
the more we're just not gonna be able to.

What are we gonna do?

Thanks to Billie, we're gonna have
to come up with a plan pretty soon.

I- I'm sorry. What do you mean,
thanks to Billie?

She made me feel pretty guilty about
not helping her with this demon. And she was right.

Well, where is she?

I don't know. She stormed outta here.
Maybe she went to her dorm.

No. She's probably after the demon.

Uh... I'd really like to help you, Agent...

Murphy.

Murphy. But I have an interview.

You know, if I showed
these photos to most people,

more than likely they'd be shocked
and repulsed, but not you.

I internalize a lot.

Or, you're more used to seeing
these kind of victims than you're letting on.

Agent Murphy, I just run a Night Club,
that's all.

Just like Piper used to, right?

You know, I've been watching you ever since
she and her sisters disappeared.

Don't you mean since they died?

You tell me. Look, I'm not the hard-ass
Agent Keyes was, all right?

He left me behind because he didn't believe
the Halliwells were really dead.

Even though we both think you know exactly
what really happened,

the difference is I don't want
to bust you or them.

I just want help. I need it.

For the past month, people been showing up
dead for reasons no one can really explain,

but I think you and your cousins know
exactly who or what is responsible.

By "what" you mean...

You know exactly what I mean.
Things beyond normal.

Powerful things like yourself.

Of course, like everything else,
there are good things and bad things.

But if you're not doing anything
to stop this, then...

as far as I'm concerned,
you're on the wrong side.

And I don't know how
you can live with yourselves.

I'm sorry, but I really need to get this.

Billie has my number.

Taxi! Taxi. Here.

Get him to a hospital fast, ok?
Hurry up. Go.

Like a moth to a flame.

Any sign of Billie?

Well, just that she's in the area.

What do you mean, she's in the area?

She's moving around so much, I'm having
a hard time getting a lock on her.

You know, we should upgrade to
her GPS scrying system.

Well, if she survives this,
we'll ask her how.

At least we know what we're up against.
She left the book open to the demon.

Problem is, only the Power of Three spell
is going to vanquish him.

I don't understand why she would
go up against a demon she can't vanquish.

I'll make sure to ask her that if she's still alive.
I can't believe we're doing this again.

Well, Agent Murphy thinks
we never should have stopped.

Wait. Does he know who we really are?

No, but he's getting warmer.

Guess who.

Looking for me, are you?

Antosis.

I'm flattered. And of course,
you've already met my friend.

Or rather, his friends.

What do you want?

You. Alone. And out of my way.

No! Wait.

Are you kidding me?
There's demons in the house.

But she said she has a plan.

I am curious. What made you think
you could take me out all by yourself?

Oh... I know I can't take you out.
But I can take them out.

Only the Charmed Ones can vanquish you.

Too bad they're dead.

Are they?

"Hear us now, the witches' call,
he who makes Samaritans fall,"

"we speak as one, the sisters three,
and banish you to eternity"

I wanna learn how to do that.

You know what? Are you crazy?
Really, you could have been killed.

Yeah, I would have been if you guys
would have gotten home earlier.

I've been walking around outside
for like an hour!

You took a huge risk.

For all of us.

Thank you.

Morning.

Morning.

What's the matter?

Oh, I don't know. I guess the same thing
that's been bothering you guys.

What makes you think
something's bothering us?

Thin walls.

You've been eavesdropping?

Only from the bathroom.

Yeah, and the hallway. Don't worry.
I haven't been listening to any, you know, funny stuff.

How long has this been going on?

Since like the fourth or fifth grade.

I'll fix it.

Basically, I don't think this all thing
is working for any of us anymore.

I don't think it ever worked.

It helped you find a new life
outside of fighting demons.

Which is something we need
to keep trying to do.

Well, we've got Billie, so that's
gonna make it easier.

Yeah, but it doesn't solve our bigger problem
which is how we're gonna get outta this mess.

I am so tired of pretending to be
someone else. I miss me.

Well, maybe that's what
your premonition was for.

Maybe you wouldn't have realized that
if you hadn't married Dex.

Yeah, but I didn't marry Dex.
Julie married Dex.

I think that's her point. I think that's everyone's point.
You want your old identities back.

Are we sure we really wanna do this?

Positive.

Absolutely.

All right then.

Are you sure you can rework the spell?

Oh, I already have.

"I call upon the ancient powers
to unmask us now and in future hours"

"show us well, and thoroughly
reveal ourselves so the world can see. "

Whoo. That's more like it.

It's good to be back.
Although Dex is gonna freak out.

Everyone's gonna freak out,
because technically, we're still dead.

How, exactly, are we gonna explain this?

Well, it's nice to know
they can't overhear everything.

Hi. How's it going?
Uh, by any chance, is Agent Murphy in?

Who... who should I say is asking?

I don't know, girls.
Maybe we should just... surprise him.

What the Hell?

What's the matter, agent Murphy?
You look like you just saw a ghost.

Leave us. Ahem. Keyes was right.

So were you. Did you mean it when you said you just
wanted our help, that you weren't here to bust us?

Wait-how'd you know I said that?

Because you weren't talking to Jamie Bennet.
You were talking to me.

We were all magically disguised.

Come on. Don't look so surprised.
You yourself said we were these... powerful things.

Powerful witches, to be exact.

Who did exactly what you wanted-

getting rid of that bad, bad demon
who was hurting those good, good Samaritans.

Demons?

You know, he seems awfully shocked for a guy
that claims to know about the supernatural.

You're right. Maybe we should go.

Wait, no, no, don't.
Please. Look, it's just...

it's one thing to believe in the stuff
but another to actually... see it.

Fair enough.

Ok, here's the deal. You wanna know more about
who we are and what we do, we'll tell you.

And, help you out with a few cases along the way.
If... you help us.

And you don't get too greedy.

And if you protect our secret.

Or else what? What,
is that some sort of threat?

Mm-mm. You don't want to know.

Ok. What do you want me to do?

I can't talk about the specifics of the case
the sisters were involved in, ok?

All I can say is it involved
a threat to national security

and that our agency got involved
to protect them. That's it.

What kind of threat, sir?

I already said they were a witness to a crime,
an attempt was made on their lives.

We only falsified their deaths in order
to flush out the perpetrators.

All right? No more questions.

Can I come in?

Uh, yeah. Sure.

I was, uh... just- I mean,
I can't believe you're actually, uh...

Alive?

It's crazy, huh?

Yeah. Oh, if you're looking for Julie,
she's not here.

That's not entirely true.

Sorry?

Look, Dex,

I... wish that there was an easier way
to explain this to you, to lessen the blow.

But... there isn't. So I'm just gonna
have to show you...

Show me what?

Forgive me.

How do I look?

Not bad, considering you've been dead.

Well, I just hope this blows
over sooner rather than later.

Don't count on it. We're not that lucky.

All right. We can do this.
We are back and better than ever.

Mm-hmm. I'll hold you to that.

We're back.