Charmed (1998–2006): Season 7, Episode 19 - Freaky Phoebe - full transcript

- Leo, I need your help.
- Why? What's the matter?

- The Elders have assigned me a charge.
- That's great!

No, actually, it's not.

- You have to help me get out of this.
- You can't. You're a Whitelighter.

I'm also a chick in her 20's
who'd like to have a life.

- I don't have time for this!
- You're nervous.

No, I'm just busy.

All right, fine.
Maybe I'm a little nervous.

You know what?

That used to happen to me all the time
before I met my first charge.

It's good. It means you
don't want to let 'em down.



- Or maybe I'm not ready.
- Trust me, you're ready.

Yeah? Then why don't
you tell that to my stomach.

- 'Cause it really hurts right now.
- Look... Here, try this.

- Toast?
- Yeah, it helps calm the butterflies.

You've been a Whitelighter for 60 years,
and toast is what you got for me?

Well, it's not like you
haven't had charges before, okay?

Right, okay... Fine.

But I always had Piper and Phoebe
to back me up, all right?

Now I'd be solo.

- What if I fail?
- You won't fail.

That's easy for you to say.
You have a job, you got your wife.

You got your kids.
You got... breakfast.

If I make a mistake,
someone dies.

You done?



Yeah, how did you know?

Toast and venting.
Works every time.

- Guess I could try.
- I know you can do it.

- Good luck.
- Thank you.

- Thanks a lot.
- Here you go.

- Mitchell Hanes?
- Yeah.

Hi, I'm your new Whitelighter,
Paige Matthews.

Nice to meet you...

Not interested.

- You can't just walk away from me.
- No? Watch me.

Aren't you at least gonna hear me out?

Let me guess...

That I'm a witch with great powers.

You can help bring them
out for me. Master them.

- Well, yeah.
- I don't want your help.

Wait. Wait.

Wait, wait, wait, wait!

Look, I know you've had
some problems in the past,

but maybe you haven't had
the right person help you... Namely me.

My last Whitelighter said the
same thing. They ever send anybody

- who hasn't read the Elder playbook?
- I'm not just anybody, okay?

I am a Charmed One. I ran Magic School
for a year, and I'm a Whitelighter.

Triple threat. Where are you going to
find somebody with that experience.

Good, you can use it
to help your next charge.

Okay, wait. Listen!

New rule.

I'll not tolerate demon activity
in my house or my club.

Got it?

Barstool!

- You okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

What the hell do you
think they wanted?

- I have no clue.
- At least you're okay.

Yeah, but he's not.

He has a concussion
and needs a few stitches.

- Otherwise, he's fine.
- Oh, thank God.

Did he say whether, you know,
he had seen anything?

He was hit from behind.

Last thing he remembers
was loading beer from his truck.

That was good. I mean, you know,
that he remembers something.

That probably means
he doesn't have any brain damage.

Stick around. The detective's
gonna need to take a statement.

"Probably doesn't have
any brain damage"?

- Smooth, Piper. Real smooth.
- Well, that's the last time I call 911.

Well, sadly,
now that Leo can't heal us,

I think we're gonna be calling
that number a lot more.

I can't believe this. They attack me
at work now? Is no place sacred?

- I thought we covered pretty well.
- Yeah, this time.

What about next time
and the time after that?

- We'll deal with it when it happens.
- No, I'm gonna deal with them now.

Before you do, can you help?
The reason why I came...

That guy Mitchell blew me off.

My charge!

Oh? That's all you
have for me is "oh"?

I can't really help with that
whole Whitelighter thing.

You should probably talk to Leo.

Excuse me. You're
Phoebe Halliwell's sisters, right?

- Right.
- Yeah.

I'm Inspector Sheridan.

I met Phoebe a couple of
weeks ago on a different case.

Well, it's nice to meet you.

- Where is Lieutenant?
- Lieutenant Morris? He's out of town.

Taking personal time.
I'll cover for him while he's gone.

So, could you describe the suspects?

- Tall. Short. White. Black?
- Didn't really get a good look at him.

Yeah, we were in the back and
by the time we came out they were...

Gone! Yeah, gone.

What I don't understand is
why would they rob the place

in the middle of the day.
Before you even opened?

We have been asking ourselves
the same question.

Well, we'll stay in touch.

Well, the good news is
I don't think she remembers meeting us.

Thank God for memory dust.

Yeah, but it's not
100 per cent guaranteed.

If we give her the slightest cause,
her memory could come back.

Which is another reason we
need to find the demon who did this.

Come closer, Lantos.

You can tell me why you failed from here
just as easily as from over there.

I'm confident the witch
will be alone again soon.

I don't have time for soon!

I need a lock of hair now!

The only way to weaken Zankou is to
take out his most trusted lieutenants...

Daleek, Benzor, Linson.

All above ground.

All of whom I can only get to with
the help of the beautiful Charmed Ones.

Tell me, Lantos...

Do you think I'm beautiful too?

Of course.

Do you want another scar?

I can make you look like me
in no time, you know.

To your chambers!

We can't wait any longer.

I reported to The Source.
I won't do the same with his successor.

I'll need at least
a half a dozen more demons.

You can't overcome
the sisters with force...

Especially not Piper.

Since she'll be
expecting another attack,

I need you to go after
a different sister instead.

Phoebe.

Why not Paige?
She's less intuitive, more predictable.

But she's also a Whitelighter now.

Which puts her in
constant contact with the Elders.

Besides, Phoebe's a celebrity.

Idolised. Envied.

The way I deserve to be.

And someday will be.

Lawyers!

There should be a special place in hell
for each and every one of them!

Okay, before you freak out,
let me tell you about...

- I mean, talk about an attack!
- Exactly.

The paper's been sued
by a few people,

and the legal department's
clamping down on reporters.

- You're not a reporter. Anyway, other...
- But I'm a columnist.

They're saying I could actually
be sued if I gave bad advice.

So they want every one of my columns
to be reviewed by a professional shrink!

Okay, well technically
you're not a real shrink. So as I...

Excuse me!
Bachelor's degree, four years.

My readers don't care
about my credentials.

- All they care about is my insight.
- Yes, that is true.

Now why don't you direct that
famous insight towards the fact

- that I was attacked at P3 today.
- Oh, my God. Are you okay?

I'm alive. The demons won't be
when I'm done with them.

Providing I can find them.

- They're not in the Book?
- Too many fit the description.

God, that is so weird.
Demons never attack at P3.

Even weirder,
I don't think they wanted to kill me.

One of them could have nailed me
with a fireball, but then didn't.

Here.

- What's this?
- New policy.

We carry them
for protection at all times.

- If we don't know what kind of demon...
- Doesn't matter.

If it doesn't kill 'em,
it'll stun 'em.

Wow, and I thought
I was on a rampage.

I'm sending the Underworld a message.
"Back off and let me live my life."

And I'm going to help you with that.
First, I have to deal with my column.

- Want me to have a life too, don't you?
- If you must.

- Anything else, sir?
- I need a copy to go to every teacher,

and tell Mr Feeney a definite "yes"
on the after school TK classes.

I'll take care of it right away.

So you're bummed with your charge?

- Yeah, I'd say majorly.
- Don't let it get you down.

Reluctant charges
come with the territory.

I'm wishing the Elders
could've given me more to go on.

He told me he's had
several Whitelighters

and has the power of hyperspeed.
I could've found that on Google.

Hold that thought. Yes?

I'm not feeling well. Could you
fill in for me at corporealising class?

- No problem. Go home and rest.
- Thanks.

- What?
- Nothing.

- You're just impressive, that's all.
- What do you mean?

I was headmistress of this school
for a year

and you make it look easy,
and I know it's anything but.

Thanks.

So you need an assistant?

- Paige...
- What? I don't think I'm cut out

for Whitelighter stuff.
I still don't trust the Elders.

'Cause they didn't tell you everything?

They don't. They want you
to get to know your charges.

Why send me out to some guy
who hates Whitelighters,

- and doesn't wanna talk to me?
- Gotta find a way to make him.

It's your job. You're his guide.
If you don't get him to use his powers,

a lot of future innocents
are gonna be lost.

No pressure there.

The Elders wouldn't give you
this assignment if they

didn't think you can handle it.
Use your instincts. Be creative.

Look, once I had these charges
who were a little less than willing

to use their powers. So I had to
assimilate myself into their lives.

Get them to trust me
before I could help them.

Pretended to be a handyman.
Worked like a charm.

Let me guess...
You married one of them?

Let's say that the Charmed Ones
make Mitchell look like a piece of cake.

I don't care what they say
in the legal department.

That guy is not touching
one word of what I've written!

All right, you know what,
I'll be up there in a second.

It's my favourite scissors.
I knew I left them somewhere.

What pretty hair she has.

This is going to be fun.

I was lucky to get out of there alive.

- Her powers of intuition are...
- Won't do any good

once she's trapped inside my cage.

- If her sisters can anticipate like...
- They can't.

Phoebe's power's unique.

I wonder how men look at her.
With lustful hearts, no doubt.

Maybe we should hold off
on the transfer till we're sure...

How long have we been watching them?
We know them better than anyone,

including Zankou.

But their bond is strong.

To fool them even for a day we...

Like I said, we've learned enough.

I cannot believe
they cut a piece from my hair.

- I just spent $250 on a cut and colour.
- What?!

You spent $250 on a haircut?

You could've bought a week's
worth of groceries with that.

I don't think the price of my haircut
should be your main concern right now.

Okay, you're right.
Actually, this is good news.

- For whom, exactly?
- All of us.

How many demons
specialise in cutting hair?

Should make 'em easier to find.
What'd he look like,

- long coat and greasy hair?
- Wielding some scissors, which I have.

Good. We can use them to scry with.

I'll drop 'em off as soon as I deal with
someone else who wants a piece of me.

- I gotta go.
- Wait... Phoebe, wait.

Miss Halliwell, hello.
I'm Dr Randall.

Yes, I know exactly who you are.

You're the guy here to ruin my column.

I sense some displaced anger.

No, it's very well placed.
You can put your red pencil away.

You're not touching
a thing I've written.

I'm afraid you don't
have a say in the matter.

Really? Because the column is called
Ask Phoebe, so I'm pretty sure I do.

Let me remind you...
You're not the doctor, I am.

After all, I don't see
any diplomas on your walls.

Nice...

What's going on? Where am I?

You're with us now, Phoebe.
Get in the cage.

Hello, witch...

I hope you enjoy the view.
It'll be the last one you ever have.

So, whether you like it or not,

you and I are going to be
working together for a long time.

- Do we understand each other?
- Do you think I'm hot?

Excuse me?

This is gonna be fun.

- Any luck finding our demons?
- Nope.

Well, good.
I'm glad it just wasn't me.

- By the way, thanks.
- For what?

For coming home to help
in the middle of the day.

- You were attacked.
- Yeah...

I'm working on that
not happening so much.

You can't scare away all the demons
all the time, you know.

No, but I can make them think twice
about attacking again, can't I?

I'd like to think one day
you'd come home

in the middle of the day for,
I don't know, lunch?

You know we could find something
else to do for like an hour or so.

Take it easy. Keep checking.

I'm thinking whoever wanted the hair
was working for an upper-level demon.

The question is... Who?

- Soul-swapper?
- Could be.

Or voodoo priestess.
Or witch doctor. Or demonic cloner.

A cloner. That wouldn't be
such a bad thing.

At least then I'd have
another sister to fight demons with.

Did someone say fight demons?

'Cause I am so there.

- What're you doing back so soon?
- What do you mean?

What happened with the shrink?

Oh, I took care of him.

Oh, my God...

Oh, for God sakes.
Your hair looks fine.

We should go and check
the Book of Shadows again.

- I already checked it.
- Maybe we should check again.

I'm just saying we have to
fight demons, right?

Any idea what these
demon creeps are looking for?

Not yet. The more I think about it, the
more I'm leaning towards soul-swapping.

Soul-swapping?
No... I don't buy it.

If it was voodoo, they could've stolen
a comb or a brush to get hair.

See, soul-swapping is more powerful.
It requires fresh ingredients,

which explains why
they need fresh cut hair.

Demons have tried to
impersonate us before

and it's never worked.
We just know each other too well.

She's got a point.

Besides, at least we still have
the scissors to scry for them with.

- Scissors?
- Are they in your purse? I'll get them.

- Phoebe?
- What?

- Did you have a premonition?
- Yes, I did.

A very big one.

This is the guy. This is the guy
we're looking for, right here.

Daleek?

- He doesn't look like the demons.
- Are you sure?

- Maybe he was working with 'em.
- Yeah, that's probably it.

"Works above ground."
It could be a Zankou plant.

But it doesn't say anything
about him cutting hair.

But I saw him posing
as a civilian in my premonition.

What more proof do we need?

- Okay...
- Great, I'll meet you downstairs.

I'm gonna go slip into
something a little bit more sexy.

Sexy? We're killing a demon,
not going to the club.

Did I say sexy?
I meant comfortable.

Wait!

God, now what?

Maybe we shouldn't go after this guy
till we have the Power of Three.

You can call Paige,
but she's a Whitelighter.

You gotta get used to
working without her.

- What he said.
- You have potions.

If it's an upper-level demon,
it's nothing you haven't handled.

Couldn't have said it
any better myself.

I'm gonna go change.

You have somewhere to go?

I can't believe I was worried
we wouldn't pull this off.

I'll get out of here eventually.

With a face like that,
you're better off in the cage.

Don't feel all that charmed now, do you?

My sisters will get me
out of this cage and this body!

You forget. For them
to come to your rescue,

they have to realise
lmara's in your body.

Don't think they can tell
when there's a demon?

There was a demon.
Not long ago. Zankou.

Everything he learned, we learned.
Imara broke into his lair,

stole his information,
knows everything about you.

I don't care.
My sisters'll figure it out.

It'll be too late
for both you and Zankou.

We've killed his allies. Weakened him
to where he can't rule. As for you...

You're keeping lmara's body alive
so her soul can return.

Too bad there won't be a body
for your soul to return to.

No.

Help me!

Please! Someone!

Help!

Are you okay? Are you hurt?

- Surprise.
- What the hell?

What're you doing?
You out of your mind?

I'm trying to show you
that your powers can save lives.

You didn't have to save mine,
but you could've.

- So you tricked me.
- Technically.

Here's the thing. I'm trying to
remind you of what your powers can do,

and why you can't just
walk away from a gift like that.

- The hell I can't.
- Mitchell, please!

You don't know me.
You don't know me at all.

Can someone tell me
why I'm trying to help this person?

You crashed your car?

It was a rental.
What? I got the insurance.

That's not the point, Paige.

You told me to
trust my instincts. I did.

Yeah, to earn his trust,
not destroy it.

Maybe there's a reason
nobody's able to get through to him.

Maybe he just can't be gotten to.

I don't think there's any such thing
as a lost cause, Paige.

- Maybe it's time to get somebody else.
- Paige...

I mean it! Call the Elders.
Have 'em get another Whitelighter.

- I'm done. I can't do it.
- So you're just gonna give up.

I cannot force Mitchell
to be a witch. I can't.

- Maybe that's your problem.
- What?

He's not just a witch, Paige.
He's a person too.

He was a person first.
Your powers are tied to your emotions.

Stop concentrating on him as a witch.
Start focusing on him as a man.

We're vanquishing a city councilman?

- Are you crazy?
- I saw him posing as a civilian.

You were fine with it before.

I thought we were gonna find him in
an alley or a warehouse. Not downtown.

You insisted I come home
so we'd deal with it.

Stop clickety-clacking
in those things for one second.

I wanna kill demons as much as you.
Probably even more.

We can't afford to be reckless.
Especially with Sheridan lurking.

- Sheridan?
- Yeah. This morning at the bar?

Oh, right. Sorry.
I got demon-councilman on the brain.

We really don't want her
on our case again.

What are you doing?

- Are you checking yourself out?
- Yeah, it's not a crime.

No, but now is not the time.
Don't be so vain.

I just wanna look presentable.

We are meeting a councilman,
for God sakes.

Then maybe you should put on a jacket.

A councilman you think might be evil.

I know is evil. You will too,
once you freeze the scene.

Yeah, if he's upper-level
he's not freezin'.

Can I help you?

No.

Excuse me, Councilman Wexler?

I'm sorry, do we have an appointment?

No, Daleek.
Actually, we don't.

Wow, that was awesome!
What was in there?

Who cares? Let's go.

Hey, what's the rush?
Everyone's frozen anyway.

I don't want to be here
when they unfreeze

and figure out their boss is missing.

No one will ever know we were here.

I think we should just concentrate
on the demon who actually attacked us.

- We'll get him.
- When?

Well, when I try and get
a few more premonitions.

I mean, who knows
how many demons Zankou has.

Our first demon still has
a piece of your hair.

Who knows when he's
gonna use it, or come for more.

Who cares? With a face like this,
I can be bald and look great.

- What the hell's gotten into you?
- What do you mean?

What do I mean? You're walking
around like a crazy person.

That is, when you're not checking
yourself out in every shiny surface!

Well, I think I'm just a little
scattered and overwhelmed

with the column
and all these demons...

And trying to help you
find a normal life.

I appreciate that, but it doesn't
require us going a mile a minute.

Well, you wanted to make
a statement to the demon world.

What better statement than
to kill a lot of demons, right?

Right. Where are you going?

I'm going upstairs to change my outfit.

I've been in this for the last hour.

- Inspector, hello.
- Piper.

What brings you all the way out here?

Well, actually, this does.

The city councilman's missing.

According to that photograph
the two of you were the last

- to see him before he disappeared.
- You think we had

- something to do with that?
- I don't know.

- Did you?
- No!

We went to talk to him about some
branches hanging over our back yard.

Interesting. Considering he's
not really your councilman.

Right. Which we figured out
when we talked to him.

- Satisfied?
- No, I'm not.

First, a robbery that doesn't look like
a robbery. Then a councilman vanishes.

- Both times one of you was there.
- Coincidence.

I don't believe in coincidences.

We'll keep in touch.

Come on, Phoebe.
There's gotta be a way out of here.

Hey, give it a rest, will you?
You're tiring out her body.

Imara's gonna need her strength
when she returns to kill your sisters.

Yeah? What makes you think
I'd let any demon...

What's the matter with you? Get up!

What happened?

What am I doing here?

They've figured it out.
They reversed the spell.

Don't just stand there, fools.
Let me out of here!

- What're you talking about?
- Don't you see?

The witches switched
our souls back. It's me.

- Imara.
- Hurry! We don't have much time.

- Open up and let me out.
- Wait!

- How do we know it's really you?
- You dare challenge me?

Open the cage or I'll kill you both!

Same temper.

We've been planning for months and
they figure it out in a couple of hours?

I don't think so.

They wouldn't have suspected anything
if you hadn't left the scissors.

That's right.
You screwed up!

Let me out before
they get here and kill us all.

Stay here. I'm gonna go
above ground. See for myself.

Idiot! Phoebe will kill you
the moment she sees you.

Unless you're Phoebe,
and this is just a trick.

Don't let her out until I return.

The witches will vanquish him!
Then they'll come and vanquish you,

unless you let me out of here now.

Hi.

Get out.

Nope, not going away this time.

And neither are you.

I know why you
stopped using magic, okay.

- I did some research.
- You don't know anything.

- I know what happened.
- Leave me alone.

You're not gonna run from me
like from the others.

Something happened
to your fianc?e, right?

Jennifer?

I can do this all night.

Why are you doing this to me?

Look, I don't give a rat's ass
about you being a witch or not.

I'm trying to help you.

You're not just running from your gift.
You're running away from yourself.

- You really loved her, didn't you?
- Yes, I did.

How'd she die?

I was supposed to meet her...

I was late.
I can't remember why.

By the time I got there,
they had already killed her.

Demons.

They didn't want her. She didn't
even know what they were,

or who I was.

They were there for me,
but I was... late.

If only I used my speed,
I might've been there on time...

You can't know that.
You're never gonna know.

When my parents died,
I blamed myself.

I even used magic to try to
go back in time and fix it.

But I couldn't.

Thing is, we're never gonna
be able to fix everything,

or save everybody,
because at the end of the day,

you and I, we're just...

...people that have
the ability to help other people.

Aren't you cold?

No, but then again,
I actually have clothes on.

I know it's kind of skimpy.
It was so cute, I couldn't help myself.

Okay, can we
get back to the demons?

Right. You betcha.

Let's see...

Benzor!

- Benzor?
- Upper-level demon.

I saw him posing as a judge,
and he's probably working for Zankou.

- You got all that from one premonition?
- Pretty good, huh?

You gonna get that?

- Your phone.
- Oh, right.

Hello?

Dr Randall?

Oh, yes... Dr Randall.

You know what? Do what you want
because I don't really care.

I'll be right back.

- What are you doing here?
- Imara?

Who else would it be?
Why aren't you watching the witch?

She said they sent you
back to your body.

- I came to check.
- What?

- Phoebe? Who are you talking to?
- Piper, help!

- What are you doing?
- Covering.

- Blow him up!
- No!

That was close, huh?

That was the demon
that attacked me in the club.

And me in the elevator.

Hey, what's up?

- Paige, good. You're just in time.
- For what?

To help us vanquish
the demon that's trying to kill us.

- How do you know who it is?
- The demon we just vanquished

said her name. It's...

...lmara.

We have to vanquish her right away.

- I can't let you out, she'll kill me.
- She is me!

- But Lantos said...
- Lantos is dead.

Otherwise, he'd have returned by now.

I don't know.

If you do nothing, you'll be
vanquished by the witches.

But if you free me, you'll take
Lantos' place and rule by my side.

You made a wise decision.

Phoebe! No!

Well, it took you long enough.

- Actually, I think we're right on time.
- No! Don't!

What was that?

That was Phoebe's soul.

We just killed your sister.

I told you it was a soul swap, didn't I?

I don't think now is
the time for "I told you so."

I think it's the perfect time.
There was obviously something wrong.

- Why didn't I do something?
- I don't think beating yourself up

- is gonna do any good.
- How could we have known?

She took over
Phoebe's body to kill demons.

- It's what Phoebe does.
- No, not lately it isn't.

Not with everything
going on at work with her.

I should have done something.
I can't believe I didn't...

We should just concentrate
on getting her back.

Back? Paige, her soul floated away.

- She's gone!
- Not necessarily.

We've dealt with spirits before.

They can keep from moving on
if their will is strong enough.

Phoebe's definitely is.

Okay, fine. Great.
But lmara is still in her body,

and I don't see her
in a hurry to give it up.

Yeah, especially since we
blew up her demonic body...

Not that I'm saying
it's anybody's fault.

Do another soul-swap. Put Phoebe's
back in her body and send lmara's to...

- What, oblivion?
- You have to do the same ritual.

That requires a piece of Phoebe's hair.
I don't see lmara

letting us get close enough to try.

No, but I think I might know
somebody who can.

Thomas Hendricks?

- Where'd you come from?
- Judge Thomas Hendricks?

Who are you?

Someone who doesn't
wanna work for your boss...

...Zankou.

That was my favourite minion.

All right, who's next?

Thanks.

- She's pretty pissed.
- Thanks.

Wait...

Now.

Lock of hair, completes our goal
to help us reclaim our sister's soul

Banish this demon, spare no pain

Bring Phoebe back
from the ghostly plane

- Are you okay?
- No, I am not okay!

How could you not know
that was inside me?

- Don't start with me.
- Who's this guy?

This is my first charge, Mitchell.

- He saved you.
- Oh, thank you.

Don't thank me,
thank my Whitelighter.

- She saved me.
- He's cute.

She's back.

- Do I even wanna read this?
- I don't see why not,

considering it's word for word
what you wrote.

Dr Randall is no longer with the paper.

- Really? Did you fire him?
- He didn't leave me much choice.

He... He claimed you came on to him.

- I did?
- Exactly.

And that was just his first lie.

He said you told him he could do
whatever he wanted with the column.

That you didn't care
one way or other.

He must have me confused
with someone else.

Which is what I said when
I kicked his butt out the door.

That's fine by me.
Are you hiring someone else?

I told legal we never had a problem
with your column before,

and until we do, back off.

I appreciate that
vote of confidence, Elise.

But I've been thinking...

Maybe my column could use
a little bit more professional insight.

How so?

I'll let you know.
Gotta run it by my sisters first.

Hey, how'd you
fix this place up so fast?

Potions? Spells?

Even better... Husband.

Getting Leo to go back to work.
Nothing says normal quite like that.

And we haven't had
a demon attack all day.

Hopefully, the demon world
took note of our rampage.

I don't think killing lmara
constitutes a rampage.

No, but killing lmara,
Daleek and Benzor does.

We didn't kill the last two.

- The demon world doesn't know that.
- No, they just think I did it.

- Which is fine by me, actually.
- Me too.

Okay.

So, you guys wanna know what
the real Phoebe is gonna do next?

What?

I've decided I'm gonna
go back to college.

College? Again?

Yeah, I think I wanna get
my graduate degree.

This way the paper
will get off my back.

I can get my professional credentials
and, who knows,

maybe even be a better columnist.

What happened to the woman
who said her readers

- don't care about credentials?
- Well, as a future psychologist

- I can honestly say that I was...
- Swimming in a big bag of denial?

- Yes, exactly.
- What about the shrink at work?

- I don't think he'll be a problem.
- Well, girls, unfortunately,

I think Inspector Sheridan
is going to be a problem.

- Wait, she's on our case again?
- And how!

Did you hear about Judge Hendricks?

No. What?

He disappeared too.
It must be an epidemic.

It must be.

If you need a hand with
the councilman's case,

just let me know.

No, it's all right. I got it.