Charmed (1998–2006): Season 7, Episode 14 - Carpe Demon - full transcript

Yeah, I get that, Rex, but I need you at
the club. You're supposed to be there.

Valentine's Day is gonna be
a very busy night.

Can you ask her to marry you
another night?

- Get off that phone.
- You know what, I'll handle it.

Good luck. I hope she says no.

Take a look at this.
This is the new face of evil.

His name is John Normand.
He owns the phone company,

and he's been stealing
from us for months!

- Doesn't that just make you angry?
- Not really.

He's been stealing from us, and
he's probably gonna get away with it

due to some loophole or something.



I'm more worried about
the actual demons in the world,

the ones we almost got rid of.

There's nothing
we can do about them.

The demons are gonna attack
when they're gonna attack.

And when they do, we're just gonna be
right back to the same old... Wow!

Whoa! You're not kidding. Wow!

Okeydokey.

Speaking of which,

could you do me a favour
and watch the boys tonight?

I need Leo to help me set up at P3,

and apparently, my manager
is busy proposing.

Yeah, sure. I mean,
it's not like anyone's proposing to me

or like anyone's sending me flowers
or reciting me poetry.

So much for the little girl
I saw in my vision.



Phoebe, just because
the Avatars are gone

doesn't mean you won't find love.

- Easy for you to say. You have Leo.
- Yeah, but do I really?

It's a matter of time before the Elders
punish him for becoming an Avatar,

which they drove him to anyway
with Gideon and everything.

They made Kyle a Whitelighter.
That's good.

Yeah, but it took him away from Paige.

They got their cosmic jollies
off that one.

- Where is Paige?
- At Magic School, where else? Why?

Just worried about her, that's all.

It really is another great application.

A muse? No, no, no, no.

You can't hire her
as the next literature professor.

She'll inspire them to write novels
instead of reading them.

Oh, that's a good point.
I hadn't thought of that.

Well, I did. And that's
why you should hire me.

- What? You want to be a teacher?
- Isn't it time I moved up?

I had a great rapport
with the last literature professor.

You hated that little gnome, arguing
five minutes before he was killed.

Well, that was our way.
Besides, if the truth were told,

he'd want me to have the job.

- I'm very well-read.
- It takes more than that, though.

It takes being able to really connect
with the students.

I can do that.

In fact, I've got some tricks
you don't even know about.

Did you astral project?

Mrs Winterbourne taught me
before she went on sabbatical.

Don't worry, I'll get used to it.

Trust me.

I am the best candidate for this job.

What the hell is?

That's gonna leave a mark.

Sorry about the table.

Are you okay?

Who are you?

I'm the new teacher.

You ride in here and nearly kill us,
and now you want to teach here?

If I taught parallel parking,
you'd have a point,

but I'm here for literature.

- And what do you know about literature?
- Plenty.

My r?sum?.

Drake.

Well, maybe you should have sent
this in so you didn't waste your time.

Oh, I never waste my time.
For life is but a walking shadow,

the poor player who struts and frets
his hour upon the stage

and then is heard no more.
It is a tale...

- Tale told...
- Take it, sister.

...by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

- signifying...
- Nothing.

You two are not gonna make
this easy for me.

What are you talking about?
No contest.

It's right there on the r?sum?.
I studied at Juilliard,

performed on Broadway,
and I was penning a memoir

that I intend to finish on my deathbed.

- I look forward to reading that.
- Thank you.

Why aren't these credits
more than a year long?

Simple. Before that I was a demon.

- What, a demon?
- Was a demon. Now human.

Okay, and how exactly did that happen?

Personally, I hate exposition,
but if... All right.

Fifty weeks ago I made a deal,
the Sorcerer made me human.

- Just like that?
- There were a few minor stipulations.

First of all, I get to keep my powers,

and if I use them
in any offensive manner,

he gets them,
and I burn for all eternity.

What are you waiting for?
Vanquish him!

Vanq... Lady! Vanquish.

I just want a chance to make up
for my demon days.

If you don't believe me,
look into my history.

I've got almost nothing to hide.

We'll see about that.

- Miss Donovan, where are you going?
- To prove that he's dangerous!

If that is safety, then I am dangerous.

Boy, is she gonna be sorry
when I get the job.

Not so fast,
Mr Pompadour Motorcycle Guy.

I don't know what to make of you.

Why don't we consult
the Book of Shadows? Want a ride?

Okay, next.

That one's ripped.

So? The crowd will be too.

This is taking far too long.
Where's my staple gun?

Since when do you staple decorations?
Don't you want everything to be perfect?

It's all gonna be torn down
tomorrow anyway.

The point is not to worry
about tomorrow.

The point is to stop
and enjoy Valentine's Day.

Well, some people can't forget.

Some people would rather see
the rips and the flaws

so that they're not totally devastated
when they're all torn down tomorrow.

We're not talking about decorations
anymore, are we?

Leo, I'm sorry, but I can't just
stand here and pretend

like everything is not
falling apart again.

We both know that the Elders
are not gonna be easy on you.

When you change the world,
you gotta expect consequences.

The Elders brought this on themselves.

It's as much their fault as it is ours,
maybe even more so.

I'm the one that chose to become
an Avatar. I betrayed them.

Because they drove you to it,
with Gideon,

what he did to Chris
and what he tried to do to Wyatt.

- I don't think they'll see it that way.
- You need to make them see it that way,

or else this may be the last
Valentine's Day we spend together.

Your leads are worthless,
bounty hunter!

I'm not the one who lost Drake in
the first place. That was you, Sorcerer.

Well, I never dreamt
I'd need to keep tabs on him.

By now, I thought he
would have used his powers.

And yet he hasn't.

He's stronger than I thought,
which is why you must find him

so I can force him
to give in to temptation.

- But we are running out of time.
- In more ways than one, Mr Rathbone.

Zankou is moving in
to take over the Underworld.

If I expect to stop him
and to seise the throne for myself,

I must have Drake's powers!

I'll double the bounty, but find him.

Sir, excuse me, sir.
We have a new lead.

A woman? You call that a lead?

We caught her in the Underworld
asking about Drake.

- She may know where he is.
- Ah, is that so?

I don't know anything! Let me go!

Think harder, my dear.

No, you cannot put me
on hold again.

Now when are you gonna send me
a refund for my phone bill?

What do you mean, never?
Look, this is...

You know what? Forget it.
I have call waiting anyway,

which you're probably
overcharging me for, right?

- Hello?
- Hey, Phoebe, it's Darryl.

Darryl, shouldn't you be out
arresting that thief John Normand?

- Did you read the paper today?
- We got bigger things to worry about.

- Sheridan's back.
- What?

Oh, no. Any more good news?

Your friend Brody
came to visit me last night

and told me that he brought her
out of the coma.

Didn't you say he died?

Yeah, well, I never said it stuck.
He became a Whitelighter.

The point is he did
some mumbo jumbo on her

where she doesn't remember anything.

- Well, does she remember us?
- I don't know yet.

He told me to tell her that they
went on some undercover mission

and that he died
and she wound up in a coma.

Just how long do you
expect her to buy that?

I don't know. If we don't trigger
her memory, we should be fine.

- What do you mean, trigger?
- Her memory could come back

if she's reminded.
You have to keep her away.

- Phoebe! I need you upstairs.
- Okay. Coming.

Darryl, I gotta go. You'll have
to deal with this like the rest of us.

Phoebe...

Phoebe. Do I know her?

I don't know. Do you?

See? Right there.
You have nothing to fear.

What are you talking about?
It says that you have the power

to fire a thermal blast that can
knock out ten demons at a time.

If I use them, then the Sorcerer
gets them, and that would be bad.

It also says that I can be vanquished
by the Power of Three.

Hello. See? Right there.

- What?
- You touched it.

- What?
- You touched the Book.

Oh, my God. So I did.

I guess that means I'm good.
The Book...

Stop it! Maybe it does,
and maybe it doesn't.

The Book has been tricked before.
So have we.

- Just recently, as a matter of fact.
- All right, then, that explains it.

So, what did this mistake cost you?
A colleague? A friend? A lover?

- Actually, all of the above.
- No wonder you're so indecisive.

I'm not indecisive.
You think I'm indecisive?

Paige, making mistakes
is what makes us human.

Hey, sorry.
I put the boys down for a nap.

Who are you?

- Hi.
- Hi.

Drake, Phoebe. Phoebe, Drake.
Yeah. He's an ex-demon.

What? Excuse me?

I thought you guys had lots of
experience with demons who were human.

- You married one, didn't you?
- And divorced. How did you know?

Gossip, around the office cauldron.

Anyway, the point is, girls,

you don't know what it's like to be
judged simply by the way you were born.

Look well at me and tell me,

with what hope this vile protuberance
can inspire my heart?

- He's very dramatic.
- I see that.

I don't know why Cyrano's here.

He should leave because
we have our own problems.

But, my dear Roxanne,
feel'st thou my soul, here?

Then again, I don't have a date
for Valentine's Day. He's kinda hot.

Until you figure out
how many people he's killed.

Wait a minute. I never killed anyone.

Except demons. Killed plenty of them.

Join the club. It sucks, doesn't it?

In your whole demonic career,
you have not killed one innocent?

That's because since the day
I was hatched, I've been reading books,

and they taught me about feelings,
human feelings, love, sadness, death.

Since then I could never
harm an innocent.

I always found a way
around doing that.

- What do you think?
- I kind of believe him. You?

I don't know. I'm gonna ask Piper.

Come on, tell her
I'm the right man for the job.

- Job? What job?
- Fill her in. I'll be back.

So you... you like Gene Kelly movies?

Love 'em. Why?

- Thanks for coming.
- Of course. It's the least we could do.

Oh, please, don't apologise.

If anything, we've been
far too lenient with him.

Lenient? You tried to kill me.

- You left us no choice.
- Funny, I feel the same way.

Gentlemen, neither side
is without blame.

Perhaps we could put
the past behind us.

And we will...

...once he's done
the penance for his betrayal.

That's why I brought you here.

I should be able to defend myself
before you issue judgment.

Really? And what would you say?

That what I did was for my family.

I tried to create a better world
for them, for all of us.

- Too bad you failed.
- Perhaps it would be best

if Leo and I spoke alone,
if you don't mind.

It hasn't been easy
arguing on your behalf.

- Thanks for trying.
- One word of advice, Leo.

Stay out of magical affairs.

Or you just might make things
even worse for yourself.

Wow, let me get this straight.

You do musical theatre as well?

Oh, I'm full of surprises.

What's this?

Another surprise.

Happy Valentine's Day.

And to you.

Get your paws off of her!

So much for romance.

Piper. We were just having fun.
You know, fun.

With the demon?

Phoebe, how many times have I told you
not to play dress up with the demons.

- I'm sure it's harmless.
- Incidentally, I am an ex-demon.

Look, buddy, we're not gonna let a demon
or an ex-demon teach at Magic School.

- It's ridiculous.
- Maybe you're right.

Drake, I'm really sorry. It's just not
a real feasible thing for you to do.

It could cause too many problems.

Oh, no, you're making
a terrible mistake.

As an ex-demon,
I can get through to these kids,

keep them from going down
the path of evil.

Phoebe, talk to 'em,
make 'em see reason.

I can't. Look, I appreciate
what you're trying to do,

but it just...
it's not really practical. I'm sorry.

This is all wrong.

The problem here isn't me.
It's you three.

You're shaken by
what's happened with the Avatars.

You, you just lost faith in yourself,

and you, you've been
disheartened by the fight.

And you, sweetheart,
you are just plain mean.

Watch it.

You're mean because
you closed down your heart.

You're petrified it's gonna get
broken again, aren't you?

You know, there's only one man I know
who can solve all of these problems.

Well, come on, Robin Hood.

You, I'm gonna hire you
just so I can fire you.

Do we look merry to you?

You should see the world
as Robin Hood would have.

He believed in himself,
also loved the thrill of the fight.

Despite the threat of imminent death,
he found love with his dear Maid Marian.

That's very sweet. Isn't that?

You should probably change us back.

Very well.

Kitchen, now, let's go.

You just give me one second.

I thought they'd never leave.

Vanquish him, are you sure?

If he doesn't leave,
we don't have a choice.

But his heart is in the right place.

Now, let's see those powers, demon.

On the other hand,
he still has his demonic powers.

Hi, waffle much?

Darkness within cannot be undone.

Embrace your true self.

Here we go again!

Damn it!

Drake. Are you okay?

Drake? Who's Drake?

I'm Robin...

...of Locksley.

Of course you are.

Stand and deliver!

Excellent.

John will be no match for me.

Robin, you missed.
And if you put a hole in my wall,

you'll have me to answer to,
not some prince.

My apologies, my good woman,

but my aim must be true
if I am to right John's wrongs.

Right. Just be careful.

Please tell me you found a way
to fix Robin in there.

- Not yet. Can't you just freeze him?
- Not freezing.

I'm sorry, you guys. Another
big mistake bringing him here.

No, it's just our lives. Anything
that can go wrong will go wrong.

Yeah, but I don't understand
why it went wrong.

Why does the Sorcerer want to turn
Drake into Robin Hood, of all things?

I think he meant to bring out Drake's
inner demon so he could use his powers.

But then I blasted him mid-spell,
so instead we got his inner Robin Hood.

Royal hound!
Sorry, my fault!

- Another mistake for the Charmed Ones.
- It was an accident.

Either way, we messed up.

Okay. I found a vanquishing potion
for the Sorcerer,

but of course,
there's no way to find him.

How is finding the Sorcerer
even gonna fix Drake anyway?

Actually, I think it will because,
if we vanquish the Sorcerer,

- then it should reverse his magic.
- Saxon dog!

Okay, well, I'll go to the Magic School,

and I'll ask Miss Donovan
to look through things

and see if she can find something
that helps us find the Sorcerer.

You could just do it yourself.

Yeah, well, I don't know
the archives that well.

And, knowing me,
I'd probably mess up.

- What are we gonna do with her?
- We'll fix her later.

Right now, we need to deal with him.

What is he doing with my phone bill?

Marian, these taxes are outrageous.

Prince John has gone too far.

Okay, I'm not Marian, I'm Phoebe,
remember? And give me that!

Prince John has been dead for centuries.
He's not taxing anyone anymore.

The phone company is owned by
a different John, a really swell guy.

The evidence of his misdeeds
is there on the parchment.

- You left that out?
- Who knew?

I think it's high time
I paid John a visit.

My steed!

Horsepower.

What kind of Robin Hood
rides a motorcycle?

What are we gonna do?
We can't let him go out there,

especially with Sheridan back.

- Sheridan's back?
- Did I forget to mention that?

- Go with him.
- What?

You're the Marian person.

Robin, wait.

Here we go. Oh, okay.

Helmets please, people.

Hold on, milady.

No Prince John here.
We should probably go home, huh?

And give up without a fight?
I think not.

Those riches belong to the people
of Sherwood Forest.

We must see they're returned.

We can't steal from the rich and give
to the poor. There's laws against that.

Marian, have you forgotten
what it is to do good?

Next in line!

Hey, that guy's cutting.

Hey, hey, Pocahontas. There's a line.

Little John. You came to join
our merry band. Excellent.

Who are you calling little?

- Excuse me?
- You want to fight me? Is that it?

- No, no, no, no. No, Robin.
- You've put on a bit of girth.

I'm the office manager.
Is there a problem?

- This nutjob's trying to butt in line!
- He doesn't know any better.

- You will tell me where Prince John is.
- Who?

Prince John.

We don't want to kill the peasants.
That's not what we do.

He's an accomplice
to the prince's thievery.

- What? I didn't steal anything.
- The hell you didn't.

I know you've been screwing us.

Now I can't afford to take
my wife out for Valentine's Day.

They cut off my phone service
for no reason.

Now they want
to charge me to re-connect it.

What about their lousy technicians?
I wasted a day waitin' on 'em.

See, you're making all our lives
miserable. Kick his ass, Robin!

No, just tell him
where John Normand is.

Headquarters, financial district.

- We'll find it. Come on!
- Just don't tell him I sent you.

Good people of Sherwood, the prince
has abused his power for far too long.

He lives in riches
while you live in squalor.

It is high time we take back
that which was stolen from you.

All of you who wish
to join my fight, you follow me!

Yeah!

Stand down if you know
what's good for you.

Hey! What are you doing?

Marian, you're just in time.
To the end of Prince John's tyranny!

You can't do this!

Look what the prince has done
to these people.

How can you turn a blind eye to that?

Or has your heart
really grown that cold?

Fill your hearts and fill your bellies!

The police are coming.
We gotta go. Let's go.

Excuse me.

Oh, please. Please...

So you can astral project.

That could come in very handy later.

Morning, sunshine.

What do you want with me?

I'm afraid I couldn't bring the demon
out of Drake as I'd planned.

- I was interrupted by the Charmed Ones.
- They'll come for you.

Which is why I need you to serve
as a distraction when the time is right.

Oh, why did I ever come down here?
I should have stayed in the library!

The library? Well, then
you are indeed a prize.

Why? What do you mean?

The witches' interference
made my spell go awry.

Drake is unstable now, and I need
to use this to my advantage.

So tell me...

...what do you know
about Robin Hood?

No, Phoebe, you can't take him
to John Normand's office.

That is a very bad idea.
You have to bring him back here.

I said you have
to bring him back here!

Phoebe. Phoebe!

Damn it!

Do I really need this today?
Or ever?

Relax. You can handle it.

This coming from the man
who refuses to help.

I told you, I'm afraid that
I'm gonna piss off the Elders,

and they can recycle me, Piper.
You don't want that, do you?

Of course not. But it's just, we were
this close to a life without Elders,

without demons, without freaking
Robin Hood running through the streets,

threatening to expose us.

I know, but this is the life
that we have now,

and we have to make
the best out of it, okay?

So relax, you can handle it,
just like you've done before.

Thank you, and don't remind me.

- Have you guys seen the news?
- No. Weren't you at Magic School?

Yeah! We have satellite.

He apparently threw the stolen cash
into the crowd, inciting a near riot.

Police have launched
a search for the man

who bystanders described
as a modern-day Robin Hood.

Still think I can handle this one?

- Just like the good old days.
- Bite your tongue.

Okay, you know what?
I should warn Darryl.

The cops have no idea
what they're up against.

Wait. I need you to write
a vanquishing spell.

- Why? You have the potion.
- Not for the Sorcerer, for Drake.

- For Drake? Really?
- We need to be able to stop him.

And this may be the only way.
Leo, can you warn Darryl?

What about the Elders?

I don't think they'll strike you down
for making a phone call.

Right.

You know what?
I found a spell at Magic School.

It should be able
to summon the Sorcerer.

That way we don't have
to vanquish Drake.

- You mean Miss Donovan found it?
- No. I found it.

Come to think of it, I haven't actually
seen Miss Donovan in a while.

Look, anyway, the point is,
with my spell,

we can summon the Sorcerer.
With your potion we can vanquish him.

That fixes the whole
Drake thing, yeah?

Maybe, but if that doesn't work,
we need a plan B.

We've gotta stop Drake somehow.

- Well, I guess it can't hurt.
- Exactly.

The last thing we need is another
news report like that one.

- He's a what?
- An ex-demon.

But he still has powers, so be careful.

You don't want the cops
to provoke him too much.

If Sheridan finds out,
that could be a trigger.

- Sorry?
- For her memory.

If she remembers she was after them,
then she'll be all over us again.

Oh, then, you can't let her find out.

Thanks for the tip, Leo.

Good news, lieutenant.
The captain wants us to work together.

So where are we going, partner?

Hey, what's the matter with you, moron!

So we're just gonna talk to the guy,
right? We're not gonna kill him.

No, of course not.

As long as he promises
to give back every last penny.

What do you mean, every last penny?
Look, I don't think this is a good idea.

Marian, you've come so far.

You must be strong enough
to finish the fight,

for those who cannot
fight for themselves.

Do not let all we've done be for naught.

- Darryl.
- The Sheriff of Nottingham.

It's about time he arrived.

Freeze!

- Sheridan.
- Marian! Marian!

Oh, my God! Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.
But you're under arrest.

- Where's the other one?
- He got away.

Prince John!

We meet at last.

What the hell is this?

The end of your reign.

You'll never make it out of here.

The cops will have you
inside of two minutes.

You need not worry about me, sire.

What exactly do you want from me?
Did my ex-wife send you?

I'm here to rob you.

Of course.

Well, in that case,
we'd better get right to it,

and you can be on your merry way.

Now, who should I make this out to?

You will return all that you have stolen
to every last person in your domain.

- But I have millions of customers.
- Then I suggest you get started.

Hold your position, and nobody
make a move unless I say so.

You should really get
that wound checked.

No, thanks. I've missed enough.

Miss Halliwell was telling me
a very interesting story.

Wait, you don't believe me?

I think it's a little far-fetched.

You get kidnapped by Robin Hood,

forced to go on a crime spree,

only to be saved in the end by us.
That's a nice touch.

Let her go, Sheridan. She's a friend.

Hey, you know what?
Sheridan, I'm a good person.

I really think that I can help you out
in this situation if you'd just let me.

- Do you really think you can?
- Yeah, I do.

He and I have a connection.
He's a little messed up now,

but I really think I could
break through to him.

But I gotta talk to him.

That's out of the question.
It's dangerous, and it breaks procedure.

He's dangerous. You have
no idea what he's capable of.

Lieutenant, we're in position.

- We've got a clear shot.
- Hold your fire.

She's going in.

- What? Morris...
- That's an order, inspector.

Thank you, Darryl.

You know, there's something
oddly familiar about all this.

You should get that wound checked.

Sorcerer of darkness, demon of fright
I call you now into my sight

Maybe I can just try it again.

No, Paige, you've tried
three times. It's not working.

He must be protecting
himself somehow.

I could have copied it down wrong.

Paige, it's not your first day
as a witch.

It's just...
We're running out of options.

You saw the news.
I think it's time we go to plan B.

I think getting rid of him
would be a big mistake.

So would letting an innocent die.

Look, if you're not gonna trust
yourself, at least trust me

because it's certainly not my first day.

Paige!

Miss Donovan!
Why are you astral projecting?

Later. I don't have time.
The Sorcerer took me prisoner.

What?

I swear, I was just trying
to check out Drake.

It turns out he's not so bad.

It was the Sorcerer that I
should have been worried about.

We know all about it. Don't panic.
Now that we know where you are,

we can scry for you and get you
out of there and just vanquish him.

Oh, thank you! Now I gotta go.

Looks like Drake just got a reprieve.

Well played, my dear.

I wish I could have told them
what you were planning.

If you had, you'd be dead by now.

At least now, you'll live a touch longer
than the Charmed Ones will.

You see, thanks to your message,
they're not focused on saving you.

Too bad my lair is protected against
summoning and scrying.

It won't take them long
to figure it out.

But by then I'll have Drake's powers.

How can you be so sure?

Well, you see, once a demon,
always a demon.

I just need to remind Drake of that,
by casting a spell on Prince John.

Come on, you cannot expect me
to write all these checks.

Oh, Robin, don't shoot!
It's me, your Marian.

- Milady, how did you elude the sheriff?
- Oh, me and the sheriff go way back.

Now, listen...

Don't you think it's time
we let the prince go?

I'm sure he's learned his lesson
by now, haven't you, John?

Oh, oh, yeah. I'm...

I'm heartbroken here, man.

I didn't realise what I was doing
to those poor people. Thank you, Robin.

You have really shown me
the error of my ways.

- I swear, I am going to change.
- See? That's great, that's great.

I know you don't want to hurt him.

What about the money?
He can't be trusted.

If you can't trust him, then trust me.

Look, today you reminded me
what it's like to do good,

to make a difference and to help people.
Now let me help you.

Come with me, before you do
something you'll regret.

Sorry.

Oh, I cannot believe
that you actually fell for that.

- But...
- I mean, really.

You think I give a rat's ass
about some poor schmo

who's too stupid to know
he's being suckered?

There's no way in hell
I'm giving this money back.

Oh, no, the Sorcerer.

I don't think Darryl can hold off
the cops any longer.

You're running out of time.

What would you like me to do?
The crystal's not dropping.

This isn't right. We're being played.

You're not gonna do any of us
any good by waffling now.

I'm not waffling.

Look. Fine, I admit, okay,
I've been out of it

since the whole thing
with the Avatars and with Kyle.

But I can't keep beating myself up
over the mistakes that we've made.

I have to move on.
I think we all do.

- I'm not sure it's that easy.
- Maybe not but I have to try, right?

Drake said that I have to start
trusting my instincts again.

Otherwise, I'm not gonna be able to
help him or Miss Donovan or anybody.

- What are your instincts telling you?
- Miss Donovan's just a distraction.

Otherwise, we
would have found her by now.

Say you're right. So you think
the Sorcerer is after Drake?

He wants his powers, doesn't he?

Drake's bound to use those
at some point or another.

You will give the money back.

Or what? You're gonna
shoot me with an arrow?

Come on!

I'm evil. You can do better than that.

Don't listen to him.
He's under a spell.

You gotta punish me, destroy me,

or I'll keep doing evil.
And I don't give a damn who gets hurt.

Single moms, old people, kids,
even your little maid here!

She's not my maid!

My God!

Help me, please.

It's okay. I got ya.

I got ya!

Hello.

Looks like your instincts were right.

We believe that John Normand is being
hurled out of that window by some...

Just wish I trusted 'em sooner.

A deal is a deal.

You, off to purgatory, my boy.

Well, what are you waiting for?

Come and get me.

This was the scene of chaos,

just minutes ago when the man
known as Robin Hood

detonated what appears
to have been a homemade bomb.

Fortunately, billionaire
John Normand escaped injury

with the aide of local advice
columnist Phoebe Halliwell.

Piper, we don't have a choice.
We have to go after the Sorcerer.

I realise that, but he knows we're
coming. He'll set a trap for us.

The news said Drake was missing.

- No, actually, we lost him.
- But if we vanquish the Sorcerer,

we should be able to reverse the magic
and get Drake out of purgatory.

If we can use the vanquishing spell
I wrote to get rid of Drake,

it should work on
getting rid of the Sorcerer.

- How are you sure it'll work?
- I trust my gut.

- Helped us find the Sorcerer, right?
- And it was right about Drake.

We have to save him, or everything
he's done will have been for naught.

- For naught?
- The point is is we have to save Drake.

I think Drake's caused
enough trouble for one day.

We'll be lucky if he
doesn't trigger Sheridan's memory.

Not to mention Prince John
and all the magic he saw.

John won't remember.
We can worry about Sheridan tomorrow.

You worry tomorrow. I'll worry today.

Found Miss Donovan.
Probably the Sorcerer too.

See? Wasn't that a little too easy?
I'm telling you, it's a trap.

Maybe we should start
thinking more like Robin Hood.

Excuse me?

It won't be long now.

I've lowered the cave's protections,

which means the Charmed Ones
are on their way.

- To vanquish you, I'm sure.
- Oh, I'm sure they'll try.

But we're on my turf now.

And they'll be no match
for my new powers.

I'm not so sure about that.

Well, well, well,
I'll give you this much.

You're getting better at that.

You don't even need
to be asleep anymore.

- I'm a fast learner.
- Me too.

Well, that's wonderful, but I don't
think I have time for this right now.

- You should make time.
- What the hell?

Because you never know...

It's true. You never know
when your time is up.

The Charmed Ones!

Evil blast we cannot use

The Power of Three now lights the fuse

- Nicely done.
- What about Drake?

Ow, that's hot! That's not gonna...

Drake.

You saved me?

Of course. What would you expect
from Maid Marian?

- And your Merry Men.
- Women.

Excuse me? Do you mind?

That was interesting, huh?

I guess. I just can't believe
we're back in the Underworld,

vanquishing demons again.

I don't know.

After all, it is pretty romantic,
isn't it?

- You've gotta be kidding.
- No, not at all.

Most of the world's greatest lovers
were brought together

during a time of epic conflict.

Most of them were doomed,
but they did find the romance in it.

So why can't you?

Hey. Thought you
might want to see this.

A hero.

Now, aren't you glad
you didn't arrest her?

Oh, I don't know.
She didn't help us get the guy.

She didn't promise to.
She promised to help.

Yeah, but still, don't you think
it's just a little weird?

I mean, she goes inside,
the perp gets away,

but yet there's no trail to follow,
no leads.

I mean, it's almost as though
he just disappeared.

We'll get him.

Good night, Sheridan.

Oh, you look great
in all your teacher-ness.

Oh, that little old thing?

Okay, well, I've brought you your class
schedule and your student roster.

And I have assigned you a TA.

Miss Donovan.

- She's not sore for being passed over?
- She got freaked out by what happened.

She did want to run back to the library,

but I've talked her into
helping you out in the class.

I guess it's all for the best.
Someone's gotta take over.

What, are you planning
on being absent a lot?

In case it doesn't work out. We agreed
it would be temporary at first.

You may change your mind
in a couple of weeks. I may move on.

I will not change my mind, trust me.

Anybody who can get through the thick
skulls of my lovely sisters and I

can definitely get through
to those kids.

- Even though I'm a little crazy?
- Because you are a lot crazy.

No, look, Magic School's protected.
It's okay. Give it your best shot.

- Hey.
- Hey.

I just came by to see the new professor.

All right, well, I promised Piper and
Leo that I'd babysit for them tonight.

They're celebrating Valentine's Day.

- Finding a little romance?
- Thanks to you, yeah.

Oh, I'm not done yet.

Really?

Okay, well, great,
awkward moment for me.

I'll be going. There's a night class
in five minutes. Don't forget.

So I thought you'd like to see
tomorrow's newspaper.

Looks like Prince John is gonna
give back everything he stole.

Guess he just needed to be
reminded of his mortality.

Works every time.

Phoebe, there's something
I have to tell you.

The deal I made that made me human,
that only lasts a year.

At the end of it, I gotta die.

What? Are you kidding?

No. Uh-uh. But listen,
it was well worth the sacrifice.

All I want to do is pass on
what I've learned

about literature, about life
and about love.

- How long do you have?
- Two weeks.

I mean, can't we try to fix it?

You can't.

And you know what? It's all good.

See you.