Charmed (1998–2006): Season 5, Episode 20 - Sense and Sense Ability - full transcript

Hush, little baby, don't you cry

Auntie's gonna buy you a pumpkin pie

And iF that pie
Doesn't taste real good

Auntie's gonna buy you
Some other kind oF Food

And iF that Food
Doesn't Fill your tummy

It's a lucky baby.

I'm sorry, it's the only thing
I can do to soothe him nowadays.

Why would you be sorry?

Because normally I don't like
to embarrass myself

until the fifth or sixth date.

Yeah.



Humiliate, why?
You got a great voice.

Better than most
of the singers I book at the club.

Oh, you're just being sweet,
not that I mind sweet.

- Now, why don't you like to sing?
- Something called the eighth grade.

Graduation. I was supposed
to sing the school song.

Eight hundred people are watching,
the band is playing, I get up,

and no sound comes
out of my mouth.

I completely froze.

To make matters worse, I ran out
and missed my own graduation.

- No.
- Yeah.

I think eighth grade
sort of sucks for everybody.

Yeah, mine just
kind of sucked publicly.

That was nice. I...

...haven't had that in a while.
- Had what?



Well, I like talking to you.

- I like talking to you too.
- And I like kissing you.

Kissing's good.

- And I'm kind of nervous.
- Me too.

I should get you more wine.

I'll get it. It's in the kitchen, right?

Leo, Piper, help!

What's the...?

- You okay?
- Get out. Get out. Nate's...

...here.

Hey, Nate, buddy, how you doing?

Good. Good.
I didn't hear you come in.

Yeah, how about that?
Kind of like magic.

What? Where am I?

You're back from the dead, dear.

What? How?

A simple "thank you" will suffice.

Wait a minute.

Who are you?

Let's not strain your mind
with too much information.

All I want, in exchange for your life,

is a meeting with your king.

My king? He'll never agree to it.

Or I can put you back
where I found you.

Tell your king

that if he works with me, I'll serve him
all three Charmed Ones on a platter.

You're after the Charmed Ones?

No, dear.

I'm after their baby.

Yes, Jason, I'm meeting with
the syndication consultants today.

But I've been doing
some preliminary research,

and we've got Ann Landers,
Dear Abby, and E. Jean,

but if Atlanta folds,
the South will be mine.

I bore him.

Yeah, well, I don't care if the South
thinks my column is too edgy, okay?

I think the South
could use a little edge.

What is that? What is it?

- Kazi vanquish.
- Another one?

- Paige is on it.
- Yes, of course I'm excited.

Can't you tell that I'm excited?

I just miss you.
When are you coming home?

Okay, Mommy's got one
last picture left. You ready?

Here we go. Smile, smile, smile.

- One, two, three.
- I know. It's just a lot to get used to.

All right, I give up.

Hey, big guy, you want
to do the popcorn machine?

Yes, he does.

Pop, pop, pop, pop...

Yeah, see, now he smiles.

Okay, let's get you ready
for the fair, okay?

I'm telling you, it's not gonna fit.
Nothing fits anymore.

If he keeps growing at this rate,

we're gonna have to send him
to college by next week.

Well, he will in these.
I just got them yesterday.

- Are you hurting him?
- No, he's just hungry.

- Are you sure?
- Jason, hang on a sec.

- That's his hungry cry.
- Thanks.

People, I am a terrible mother.
I am bad at this.

I don't even recognize
my own child's cries.

It's a subtle difference.

Okay, well, what about this
maternal bond I hear so much about?

Jason, I gotta call you back.

Paige.

Everything okay?

Better than okay.
I am gonna have a love life.

- You're making a love potion?
- No, I'm making a stun potion.

So that lovers
will be stunned by you?

No, so Kazis will be stunned by me.

- You're in love with a Kazi demon?
- Try to stay with me, people.

I am making a stun potion
so that I can maybe have a date

that doesn't end with,
"Nate, you gotta leave.

I have to clean
some demon guts off the ceiling."

Nate, much cuter
than a Kazi demon.

The potion you hold in your hand
is designed to stun, but not kill, Kazis.

But I so enjoy killing them.

But since the Kazi king creates his
demon minions out of his own body...

If we get the king,
then we get the Kazis.

- But we don't know where the king is.
- But that's why I did the stun potion.

So if we capture one of his minions,
we can torture him...

Then the king will feel the pain
and come in for the rescue.

Or the minion will break

and spill his guts
on the whereabouts of the king.

Okay, the finishing sentence thing,
not cute.

We're just trying to tell you it's
a good plan. An oldie, but a goodie.

Okay, let's go, guys.
The fair waits for no witch.

Oh, no, the fair's today?
I have to work...

No, you will not finish that sentence.
We are going to the fair as a family.

- You promised.
- I know I did.

And I really, really want to go, but the
syndication meeting is this afternoon.

Do you really wanna miss
Wyatt's first street fair?

He doesn't have
a lot of firsts left, you know.

Yeah, he does. He's got
his first date, first bad grade,

first backfired spell,
many, many firsts.

- I'll bring my cell phone.
- Bring the potions too, just in case.

Got mine.

How dare you summon me here?

Do you have any idea
who you're dealing with?

Save your threats, they bore me.

Are you interested
in the Charmed Ones or not?

What exactly do you propose?

A partnership. But you'll get
all the credit for the kill.

The power,
glory you've been seeking. Yes?

- And what will you get?
- I'll get my hands on the child.

There's a law.

Killing that child
is punishable by death.

I know. I wrote the law.

And I have no intention of killing him.

Then why?

I had a vision,

a mere taste of the future
of the child,

of power like we've never known.

But I didn't see enough.
I need to know more.

I must lay hands on the child.

Which is why I'm going to help you
take out the witches.

- How?
- With this ancient magic.

I can both weaken them
and gain their child's trust.

Come on Wyatt, wake up. Come on.

Got a pony, see? Pony.

Come on, guys. Watch your step
when you get down.

Why don't you take him over
to see the clown?

No, clowns are scary. And besides,
balloons are a no-no for infants.

Come on, put the camera away.
You're missing all the fun.

Taking pictures of him is fun for me.

I mean, if you want to talk to someone
about missing out, talk to Phoebe.

Hi, Elise.

No, I'm not on my way yet.

I'm at a fair with my nephew.

Well, yeah, of course
I'm gonna be at the meeting.

I will be there. I will be ready.
I will be on.

Yeah.

I know. I know.

You know what, let me call you back.
Let me call you back.

Kind of sad when a mime
is making fun of your phone usage.

Yeah.

Everyone hates mimes.
You do know that, don't you?

Okay, so I have five minutes.

Is there a ride
I can go on with him real quick?

Okay, that's pathetic.

Phoebe, you are pencilling in
rides with your nephew?

For crying out loud, it's Saturday.

I know, but I think I'm gonna be
working Saturdays from now on.

Do you think I'm happy about this?

There are many things I've been in my
life. A workaholic is not one of them.

If you're not happy with it,
why are you doing it?

- Who says I'm not happy?
- You just did.

I blame your very handsome
but very pushy boyfriend.

National syndication
is a huge opportunity.

And, yes, it was Jason's idea,
but I agreed to it. And I am happy.

I'm really happy.

Hello?

Yeah, okay.

Don't like monkeys.

Hold on. Let me call you back.

Leo, germs, cover the baby!

All right.

I don't think Wyatt liked Mr. Monkey.

Did he scare you?
He did. He scared him.

Oh, it's okay.

- Is he hungry?
- No, that's his tired cry.

Yeah, I think he's just overstimulated.
Maybe we should go home.

All right, you guys are the experts.

Why don't you orb,
and I'll go develop this film.

Okay, we'll walk you to the car.

I think that stupid monkey
got dust in my eye.

- Do you hear that ringing?
- No.

All done? Good boy.

It's time, then.
I can send my warrior in.

No.

The witches are infected.

But the monkey's curse
is designed to punish.

So it won't take their senses

until the moment the witches
need them most.

- Hi.
- There you are.

Yes, I'm so sorry.

Phoebe, this is Mark Roberts
with the syndicators.

- Hello.
- Laura Robins with Marketing.

- Hi.
- How are you?

- Richard Jean, our image consultant.
- Richard, hi.

I'm so glad you guys could make it.
Thank you so much.

Jason tells me you're the best. I look
forward to hearing your thoughts.

Glad you could make it.

I'm really sorry.
Do you hear that buzzing?

Well, if I can start.

I'd just like to dive right in
with a congratulations, Phoebe.

I love your column.

And I also want to say,
not only am I an image consultant,

but I'm a fan as well.

I'm sorry?

I said, I'm a fan.

Oh, you... Oh, that's sweet.

Thank you so much. Thank you.

I think you're beautiful,
stylish, approachable.

That's why I don't want
to alter your look too much.

"Author a book"?

Wow, I don't know
if I'm ready for that.

You know, one step at a time.

- I'm sorry?
- What?

I'm sorry, sometimes I mumble.
I said "your look," not "your book."

Oh, right, the hook.

Yeah, to be honest with you,
"She has the answers,"

it's kind of lame, right?

Any ideas?

Well, l...

- I mainly do image.
- Actually,

I'm the advertising consultant.

Are you okay?

I'm... I'm...
I think I'm gonna have to leave,

because I'm not really feeling too well.
So thank you.

Phoebe.

Wow, you look beautiful.

You've already said that.

Yeah, but you look crazy beautiful,
so it bears repeating.

Okay, now I'm blushing, and my
lipstick won't match my cheeks.

Well, since you're already blushing,
I have a little bit of a surprise for you.

But don't hate me, all right?

You're not gonna propose, are you?

- No.
- In that case, I like surprises.

Good.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have
a special treat for you tonight

to make your happy hour
just a little happier.

Local girl, Paige Matthews,
in her debut.

Are you kidding?

Come on,
I thought you liked surprises.

This is a bad surprise. Bad.

Eighth grade was
a long time ago, Paige. Come on.

Yeah, but that turned out
to be the worst day of my life.

All my friends laughed at me.
Bobby Maynard dumped me.

You dated a guy
named Bobby Maynard?

That is not the point.

Look, I'm already losing my voice.
This... This is the sound of panic.

Look, Paige, you don't have to sing
if you don't want to.

You just strike me as the type of girl
who likes to face her fears,

not run from them.

This one is for all
the Bobby Maynards in the world.

Isn't it

Paige, wait.

Paige?

Paige, is that you?

Billy. Billy, are you here?

I hope the creature
didn't get you too.

Oh, Billy.

Paige! Piper!

If you're here,
I need you to come out to the open

and, like, flag me down
or something, okay?

Hello?

Anyone? Hello?

I lost my hearing during
the biggest meeting of my life!

I can't hear a thing!

What?

I can't hear you!

Oh, okay. Okay.

I need your help.
Magic's got to be behind this.

What are you doing?

Oh, I get it. I get it. Charades.

Okay, yeah, yeah.

You're a monkey. Yeah, okay.

You're a monkey.

Oh, you're an angry monkey.

Oh, you're pissed. You're...

PMS monkey?

No, no, of course not.

Okay.

Ball.

Fireball.

Okay. Yeah. A demon monkey
stole my hearing.

And your voice too. Oh, honey.

I don't understand
why you can't heal my eyes.

I don't know, your vision is just gone.

- Well, how is that possible?
- You hear something?

I don't know.

You hear puppets?

I'll find Phoebe and Paige
after I put the baby down.

- Where am I?
- In the conservatory.

Just try and stay calm,
and try not to worry.

You hear voices. Voices, right.

- Piper!
- I'm so glad you're here.

I can't see a thing,
and I wrapped my car around a pole.

- And I know it sounds crazy,
- Piper!

But I think it has something to do
with that mangy monkey.

- Piper!
- Where are you?

Who put that there?

Oh, my God. Piper, you're blind.

Yeah. Phoebe, I just said that.

Now, can we talk about
how a monkey could do that?

- What did she say?
- What did who say? The monkey?

He didn't say anything.
He covered my eyes,

- and stole my eyesight.
- I think the monkey stole

your eyesight
when he covered your eyes.

Phoebe, are you listening to me?
That's just what I said.

You are acting like
you can't even hear me.

Piper, it's no use,
I can't even hear you.

- The monkey stole my hearing.
- Oh, he got you too,

which means somebody
sent that flea-infested primate after us.

We've gotta find Paige.

Why are you clapping?
This is not funny.

What's the matter, Paige?

Paige? Where's Paige?

What's going on?

I see.

- Well, I don't. Where is Paige?
- She just can't talk.

Excuse me, this is either
someone's sick, sick joke,

or someone's working
on a massive evil plan!

Whatever it is, you guys are
in danger without your senses.

Piper, you're the most vulnerable,
so I want you to stay next to Wyatt.

- His force field will protect you.
- Okay.

Paige, a Kazi attack
could be deadly right now.

Make sure we're stocked up
on stun potion.

Where are we going?

Phoebe, check the Book oF Shadows,
see what you can find out

about evil monkeys and demons
who control them.

Come on.

Paige.

First we wait on a monkey,
and now what?

What are we waiting on now?

You're waiting on me. Get used to it.

Unlike you, I don't charge in
like a wild bull.

I prefer to take my time
and succeed.

I say enough time has passed.

Perhaps.

First, we need to find out
if the monkey's magic has taken effect.

If so, you can send in your warrior

while I make my move for the baby.

How do we figure out if the monkey
has done his job?

Common sense.

You dare mock me?

On occasion. But not at the moment.

This totem...

...was created to trap senses.

But with my magic,

I can borrow what's inside here.

So that's what this is all about.

You want to steal
the Charmed Ones' senses.

Why?

You'd be surprised what you can do

with a set of eyes,
a pair of ears, a voice.

You might even be able to trick
an infant into believing

you're one of the family.

Now...

...let's see that beautiful baby boy.

Okay, little guy, what is it?
What is it?

Do we need a diaper change?
No, not that.

Okay, how about
the popcorn machine?

That always works for Daddy, right?
Right? Okay, here we go.

Pop, pop, pop, pop...

No popping.
Okay, forget the popping.

Okay, it's all right. Hello?

Leo?

Yeah, just came to check on you.

How did you know it was me?

Well, you shuffle your feet.
You're a shuffler.

Looks like your other senses
are already taking over for your vision.

Not fast enough. Okay,
tell me what I'm doing wrong here.

That fussy noise usually means gas.

- Try putting him over your shoulder.
- Okay.

Alrighty, here we go. Oh, now.

- Better?
- No, not better.

I don't know all his tricks
and noises like you guys do.

And at least before, I could see him.

Well, the love is there.
The rest will follow.

You know, it's just a myth

that all mothers
instantly bond with their children.

Well, I'm not worried about all other
mothers. I'm worried about this one.

Well, from where I stand,
you look like a pro.

- He's already calmed down.
- He has? Oh, he has. Okay, good.

Leo, bring Piper up here.
I think we found something.

Here, take him.

I don't want him left alone
for a second

while all this stuff
is going on here, okay?

The monkey didn't come
after us on his own.

Someone very powerful
is behind all of this.

The question is, who?

Hello? Anybody in here?
Give me a sign.

All right, speak and spell.

Tell me what you two know.

Okay, listen to this. Centuries ago,
a sorcerer created a monkey

to steal his enemies' senses. Only
the sorcerer mistreated the little fella,

so the monkey stole
his master's voice

and was turned into a wooden totem
as punishment.

So this whole monkey business about,
you know,

speak no evil, hear no evil,
see no evil is a real thing?

What?

Never mind. Read my lips.

Is there anything in here
that will get our senses back?

Piper, I can't hear you!

What do we do?

Paige is proposing violence
against the monkey.

Well, I'm inclined to agree,

but I really think the monkey
is the least of our worries.

Yeah, I didn't hear
what you just said.

But if you're wondering
who's behind this,

I was about to look in the Book.

Oh, no, it's Elise. Piper, you're
the only one that can talk to her.

Tell her I'm sick.

- Tell her... Tell her...
- I got it, I got it, I got it.

Okay.

Hello?

Hi, Elise.

Phoebe?

Yeah, she's here. She's lying down.

I don't know,
inner-ear infection maybe?

Oh, no, not you, Elise.

We just got workers
around here all day.

What is going on over there?

- Kazi demon!
- Gotta go.

- Three o'clock.
- What? What?

Twelve o'clock!

Did I get him?

Wyatt, danger.

How about that time?

You killed Aunt Pearl's couch.

- Did I get the Kazi?
- I can't hear you.

Phoebe, what's happening?
Phoebe, talk to me.

Phoebe.

Little baby, don't say a word

Mama's gonna buy you
A mockingbird

IF that mockingbird won't sing

Is she gonna be okay?

I think so.

Crystal cage is ready.

Do you hear that?

- I don't hear anything.
- It sounds like singing.

- Wyatt.
- IF you let this Force Field down

You'll still be
The best little baby in town

Piper! Wyatt, careful, it's...

Leo, what's going on?

You'll pay for that.

- Is Wyatt okay?
- Wyatt's okay.

- Where's Leo?
- Leo?

Why isn't he answering us?

- Where's my warrior?
- Captured.

That's your fault.
You said you would weaken them.

And I did.

However, I failed to account
for their whitelighter.

But don't worry,
he won't get in our way again.

I say we launch another attack now.

First I need to know
the witches aren't on to me.

If they figure out
that I want their baby,

I'll never get my hands on him.
Now, please...

...let me concentrate.

There you go. Is that better?

Okay, there you go.

Yeah, that's better. It's okay, baby.
Daddy will be home soon.

- You did it! You calmed him down!
- Phoebe.

It's strange.
After, you know, I lost my vision,

I was forced to use
my maternal instincts, which is good,

because I wasn't really
sure I had them.

I know.

I'm getting pretty good
at reading lips.

I think you just said, "I know."
What do you know?

That we'll find Leo.

Okay, that's weird.

How did you know
that's what Paige wrote?

I mean, you can't see it,
and I didn't say it. So how did you...?

I'm not sure.

I guess maybe we're developing
some sort of sixth sense?

That's what it must be, right?

Well, whatever it is,
we gotta use it to help find Leo.

Start the interrogation.

We will be in the nursery.

You gonna be okay
to get down the stairs?

Oh, yeah. I'm getting the hang
of this blind stuff.

Besides, I grew up in this house.

Wrong answer.

Is somebody here?

- Nate.
- Nate is here?

You want me to get rid of him?

I can't do that, Paige.
I mean, first of all,

I'm not the best listener right now.
And second of all, he's your boyfriend.

You lost your voice
when you were singing with him...

Wait, how could that be?
You were with him at his piano bar.

You lost your voice
when you were on-stage singing,

because he wanted you
to sing for him?

Oh, that is so romantic.

And humiliating.
Yeah, I see your point.

Okay, I'll go deal with him.
But you owe me one.

Hey, Phoebe. Is Paige here?

Paige isn't home.

I saw her car in the driveway.

Can you repeat that? Just slowly.

Yeah. I said, I saw her car
in the driveway.

Oh, yeah, her car.

See, what I meant to say
is that she just can't talk right now.

Right. Yeah, that's my fault.
I tried to show her off at the club.

I mean, she's got
such a good singing voice,

and I thought maybe I could help
her get over her fear, you know...

Why are you looking at my mouth?

I got something in my teeth?

Okay, look...

...I got a little swimmer's ear
going on.

Yeah, I fell asleep
in the tub last night.

So I'm not really getting a lot of this.

But I did get the part about your teeth,
and they're very nice, white.

I just want to say I'm sorry. If I could
just speak to her for a second,

- maybe I could clear this up.
- Not a word. Not a word.

I'll tell her you came by,
and I'll have her call you, okay?

- All right.
- Goodbye, Nate.

Okay, I would pretty much
do anything for my sisters,

but making me do that
was plain mean, Paige.

Don't try to change the subject,
Paige. Here's your flowers from Nate.

And personally, if you ask me,
I think that Nate deserves more.

Hey, did you ever think

that maybe your Kazi buddy here
can't read?

- I tried to tell her that.
- He did?

Yeah, but not about literacy.

Kazi warriors are base-level demons.

Where's our whitelighter?

I don't know.

Yeah, I know, we'll see.

Who sent you?

Wait, wait! Hold on a minute.
Please, I'll tell you.

- It was the Crone.
- The Crone?

- The Crone sent you?
- Yeah.

Check the Book, see what
you can find out about the Crone.

What does the Crone want with us?

If I tell you that, she'll kill me.

My warrior's suffering.

I can feel his pain.

- He needs my help.
- He needs a muzzle.

He just gave them my name.

If he tells the Charmed Ones
my plan,

I'll never get my hands on that baby.

He wouldn't have a chance
to tell them anything

if we would just attack.

They're torturing him again.

Very well. I'll spare your warrior
any more suffering.

Along with you.

Okay, I didn't do that.

Someone else did that.
I did not do that.

Did you find anything in the Book?

Yeah, the Crone,
that's what I was afraid of.

Is there a vanquishing potion
for her?

Good. Okay, let's hit the kitchen,
we gotta be prepared for anything.

She's okay. She's with Wyatt. His
force field will protect her. Come on.

Who's there?

Leo found the monkey totem,
and I got my voice back.

- Oh, my God, where is he?
- In the kitchen with Phoebe.

They're working on a potion
to vanquish the Kazi king.

Don't worry, I'll take care of Wyatt.

Okay.

Okay.

Be right back.

What's that smell?

It's like charcoal.

Burnt Kazi flesh.
We just vanquished his warrior.

Oh, that must be it.

There, there now, Wyatt.

Don't be afraid.

I just wanna hold you.

Hush, little baby
Don't say a word

Mama's gonna buy you
A mockingbird

Okay, let's go people,
Mama wants to see again.

Piper! We think that the Crone
is behind this!

So we're making a vanquishing potion
so we can get her!

Phoebe, I am blind, not deaf.

And Paige said we were going after
the Kazi king.

What did she say?

Leo, is that you?

Paige? But you're supposed
to be watching Wyatt,

and you said Leo had come back.

Oh, my God.

Mama's gonna buy you
A diamond ring

That's my sweet boy.

You're safe now.

Hands off, hag!

Wyatt, help, we're in danger.

- What's going on?
- His force field is protecting her.

If you hurt him, I will kill you!

What is she doing to him?

Paige, can you orb him to you?

Wyatt.

- She can't.
- I know.

- Should we...?
- I don't know, try it.

- Wyatt.
- Wyatt.

I've seen everything.

Such power.

Such power.

You want to see real power, lady?

I can see. I can see. Hi.

I can hear. Paige?

Can I just say...

What?

Anything.

Damn, it's good to hear me speak.

- Okay, so we're all good.
- What about Leo?

Oh, no, did I kill the hag too soon?

Oh, if she hurt him, you know,
I'm gonna have to revive her

- and kill her again.
- Hurry, see if you can

get a premonition
off the smudge mark.

It's okay, honey, we'll find Daddy.
You know, sooner or later.

What just happened?
How did she...?

Because my nephew is a genius.

Takes after me.

Oh, God.

- Are you okay?
- The Crone.

Dead.

And you can see?

Yeah. It was strange.
Like, when it mattered most,

we could almost
read each other's minds.

Yeah, it's always been there.

We never noticed before.

Well, maybe not consciously,

but it's always been part of what's
made the power of three so strong.

Sorry I couldn't get here sooner.

It was awful, I couldn't orb.

But guess who could?

Apparently,
he sensed his Daddy in need.

- He sensed me, and he orbed?
- Yeah, he's coming into his powers

really, really fast.

You nervous?

A little. You know, a lot.

Well, he's gonna be fine.

- We all are.
- I know.

Not going so good?

- National syndication's a big deal.
- Yeah, that's what Jason said

when he told me.

And Elise and all the other reporters.

And I was so busy listening
to all of them

that I didn't ask myself
what I wanted.

Which would be what?

To spend time with my family.

Yay! Oh, sorry. Go ahead.

To ride rides with my nephew

and to not be one of those annoying
cell-phone people

that the mimes make fun of.

So, what are you gonna tell Jason?

I'm gonna tell him exactly
what I just told you.

And as my boss,
he's not gonna like it.

But as my boyfriend,

there are ways
of bringing him around.

We do have ways.

I was supposed to sing a song
for Bobby Maynard,

but he didn't inspire me much.

So, Nate Parks...

...this one's for you.

Never know how much I love you

Never know how much I care

When you put your arms around me

I get a Fever that's so hard to bear

You give me Fever

When you kiss me
Fever when you hold me tight

Fever

In the morning

And Fever all through the night

Now you've listened to my story

Here's the point that I have made

Fever

Till you sizzle

What a lovely way to burn

What a lovely way to burn

What a lovely way to burn

What a lovely way to burn