Charmed (1998–2006): Season 3, Episode 9 - Coyote Piper - full transcript

All right, I know that it seems like
she's being a little neurotic,

but high school was hard for her.

Really, really hard.

You know, she was kind of like
Jan Brady, the middle sister,

- not quite sure where she fits in.
- Jan who?

Okay, ready or not, here I come.

Okay, no matter what,
just be supportive.

Wow. You look great.

Really, really, really great.

Leo, two "reallys" would've
been plenty.

I look ridiculous.



- No.
- No.

- The feathers and...
- Really...

- Yeah.
- Great.

I'm gonna go to my ten-year reunion

and win Most Likely to Scare
People Away at the Door.

Come on, Piper. Isn't this supposed
to be a fun thing, you know?

Going back and seeing all
your old friends?

You weren't by any chance popular
in high school, were you?

Well, I was...

I mean...

Is there a right answer
to this question?

Leo, I didn't like high school,
not even a little bit.

I was nobody in high school.

Piper, you were not a nobody.



Prue, you were class president.

You have no idea what it's like
on the other side.

Yeah, you're right, I'm sorry.

I just... I had this stupid idea that I'd go
back in ten years and show them,

and all I'm gonna show
them is that I'm a big-haired freak.

All right, you do not look like a freak,
you just...

You don't look like yourself.

Well, if I could go as myself,
I wouldn't be having this problem.

Wait, you mean,
so this is like a costume party?

What I mean is
I'm this superpowerful witch,

who's engaged to a whitelighter,
saving the world from evil

on a daily freaking basis.

And all these people are gonna see
is the same pitiful loser

who still lives at home with her sisters
and her unemployed boyfriend.

Did you put a lot of hairspray
on that hair?

- No.
- Well, then all is not lost.

By the time I'm done, you are going
to be the hottest chick at the reunion.

Really?

Who do you think helped Phoebe
go blond?

Hey, speaking of Phoebe, maybe you
guys should invite her to join you.

She's been kind of distant lately.

Leo, when you find out
your boyfriend is a demon

and then you have to vanquish him,
a little alone time is in order.

Besides, I think
she's kind of avoiding me.

You know, I mean, I never really liked
Cole, and then I tried to warn her.

I think it's a whole
wounded pride thing.

- What do we do?
- We double-team.

You help Phoebe with her demons,
and I will help Piper with hers.

I made you from my own blood,

found you a flawless body
and housed you in it.

- You were supposed to be my...
- Masterpiece?

I'm not a painting, Kierkan.

That blood gave me your powers.

Your lust for life.

Yet you hold me captive in this soul
and you expect me to be grateful?

Belthazor was more powerful
than either of us.

Where is he now?

Vanquished by the Charmed Ones.

Is that fear I'm sensing?

Is Kierkan, the dark and powerful
alchemist, afraid of three little witches?

Perhaps I should suck you into
your little mixing bottle and start again.

There's always room
for improvement.

I have a better idea.

No!

I will find you, Terra.

You belong to me.

I don't care.
This has to be huge. And done.

And done before the stock IPOs.

All right, and...

And please tell the music guy

that I don't wanna hear any more
of that '90s techno crap.

Okay, this is a computer game
for the new millennium.

I want it to freaking sound like that.

Bye now.

Well, I've never been a man before.

Walking should be interesting.

What the hell is going on?

I want you to take me
to the Charmed Ones.

- What?
- The witches, you fool.

They go by Halliwell.

Hey... Hey.

Hey, help me!

Hey.

Nice try.

But nobody can hear you.
You're just a trapped soul now.

Only I can see you.

I don't know. Maybe we should go
back to the Betsey Johnson,

you know, the cool club-chick look as
opposed to the classy club-owner look.

Yeah, or we could just wrap you
in a sheet

and send you as a Hare Krishna.
What do you think about that

since we already tried
everything else?

I'm sorry. I just don't think
I can do it.

I can't go there and face
all those horrific people.

I mean, come on, why do you
even care what these people think?

Only a former cheerleader
could ask that question.

All right, look. I realize that high school
was very hard for you,

but you are just not that shy,
awkward girl anymore.

- But...
- No.

Now you are going, and you're
going to have a great time, young lady.

- You are not the boss of me.
- Oh, I am too.

Besides,

nothing could be worse
than my date last night.

What do you mean?
I thought he was nice.

Oh, I have one word for you:
Halitosis.

And he only scored a two.

Oh, Prue, please don't tell me
you're making lists again.

Of course I am. Lists are good.
Why waste your time

if it's not gonna work out?

Well, maybe I can look
around the reunion for you.

I'm sure there's lots of eligible
ex-football players

for the head cheerleader.

Younger men are not on my list.

Hey, have you guys seen
my glasses?

- No.
- Sorry.

Damn.

Pheebs. Are you sure you don't
wanna come tonight?

You can work the bar
and make some yucky drinks

for some ex-cheerleaders.

As much fun as that sounds,
I have a ton of schoolwork

that I need to catch up on, so
I'm gonna be at the library all night.

Phoebe, look, we just want you
to know

that if you need to talk at all,
we're here.

I know that. I'm okay.

Really? Because you haven't spent,
like, five minutes

in the same room with us
for over a week.

I'm sorry.

It's just there are some things,
some answers, that I need,

and I sort of need to find them
for myself, you know?

Soul-searching?

Definitely searching, yeah.

But I'm okay. Don't worry about me.

- You look beautiful.
- Thanks.

Have fun tonight.

Piper Halliwell?

You still living at home?

Justin Harper.

- Is that you?
- Hey.

Hey.

- So who's this? Ex-boyfriend?
- Oh, don't worry about him, Leo.

He's just a friend from school.

Besides, he had
a really big crush on me.

He used to follow me around
like a puppy dog.

- Are you going to the reunion?
- Oh, yeah.

Nostalgia struck, thought I'd
drive around the old neighbourhood.

- Ten years. It's unbelievable.
- Yeah.

We were just actually heading
to P3 for the planning committee.

We have a lot more food
than we have room for.

- Would you mind?
- Absolutely.

Great.

Here you go. Look at you, Justin.
All grown up.

Yeah, you too. Phoebe, isn't it?

Prue.

Prue. Right.

Sorry.

Well, looks like you got all the help
you need, which is good,

- because they're calling.
- No, you can't cut out on me.

- I need you tonight.
- I'll be back in time for the reunion.

- I promise.
- Double extra promise.

I wouldn't miss it.
I'm gonna have the prettiest date ever.

Please. Look. You found them.

- Why don't you just get out of me?
- I have to get one of them alone.

The transfer's a little...

messy. I can't do it just anywhere.

Look, I'm begging you, I...

I can't stand this anymore.
I can't breathe.

I feel like I'm suffocating.

That's because your soul is dying.

It'll be easier if you don't fight it.

Cole, if you can hear me...

I can't stand lying anymore.

I have to tell my sisters
that you're alive.

That I let you go.

And that you would never do
anything to hurt us...

and that you love me.

I just don't know how to do it.

I need...

I need...

No!

Guys, it's still crooked. Can't you see
those creases in the middle?

- Just straighten it. Move it.
- Now, just remember:

Even if you can't tell them that you're
Super Witch, you can still act like it.

Oh, my God. Missy Campbell.

- Homecoming queen.
- Oh, please. That's ancient history.

You can do this.

Missy, is that you?

Piper. Piper Halliwell.

We had chem together,
and Miss Fowler...

for English?

Right.

Piper.

You used to sit in the back of the class
drawing pictures on your jeans.

Yes! Yeah... That...
Yep, that was me.

Wow, your skin has really
cleared up. Acutane?

No, no... No. I guess,
you know, ten years.

Is there anything
I can do to help, or?

Do you know what would be great?

Can you get this trash out of here?

Absolutely. L... Yeah, I can...
I can totally do that.

I know where the Dumpster is
and everything.

All right, that's it. She needs me.

She's gotta find her legs
on her own sometime.

Sorry?

Remember when she ran
for freshman class secretary?

She got so nervous
that you had to go up on-stage

and finish her speech for her.

See? I knew
that you remembered me.

Why did you call me Phoebe?

Listen. You plagued
my high school existence.

I pretended not to remember
your name.

A guy's gotta turn the tables every,
you know, ten years or so.

Excuse me.

I plagued
your high school existence?

Please. I was your willing slave,
and you know it.

- You did me a favour, though.
- I did?

Oh, absolutely. Yeah, see, I don't go
for women like you anymore.

- Women like me?
- Well, number one on my list:

No women who make me drool.

They hold way too much power.

- What?
- You have a list?

Piper, what are you doing?

Missy asked me
to take out the trash, so...

So...

you own this place, all right? Tell
somebody else to take out the trash.

Prue, I can't.

Look, I can't explain it,
but being around these people

makes me feel exactly like I did
when I was 16.

Invisible and inferior.

You want me to beat them up?
Because I'll beat them up one by one...

No. Look, it's not them. It's just me.

All right. So, what are you
gonna do about it?

- Take out the trash.
- Piper.

Okay, I'm gonna take out the trash
and try and get a grip,

and then I'm gonna
come back in here

and do something about
these streamers and balloons,

because, what,
are we still at the prom?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Thanks for the lift.

You better be as powerful
as they say you are.

Help me out.
What is our sister's name?

If you get out of my body now, I might
not have to vanquish your sorry ass.

Not as weak as you seemed
after all.

That'll change.

You only scored a four.
That is just so sad.

Excuse me, but you only scored
a five. Out of ten on my list.

Right, so I got an F, but, dude,
you got an F-minus.

Ouch, that's a bad
high school flashback.

Hi. Okay, hi. Don't really think that
that's the best way

to deal with your reunion jitters,
okay?

What? Oh, okay.

Piper, can you move your
hors d'oeuvres to the other table?

Heather wants to use that one
for the then-and-now photos.

Sure. Whatever you say.

No, you stand up to her.

- You can do it.
- I can?

- Yeah. You can do it.
- Okay.

Hey, bitch.

Move the trays yourself.

All right.

That was great.

Although the "bitch" part
might have been a little much, but...

- Prue, help me.
- All right, what's wrong?

Nothing. I just don't feel very well.

- I should go home.
- Oh, no, you don't.

I am not letting you skip your reunion,
all right? You did great just now.

- I just need to rest. I'll be back.
- No.

You get back here by 6, otherwise
I'm gonna come and get you,

and it won't be pretty. Got it?

Okay.

Caducas ex animas

Vita aetas anima

What? What the hell?

The spirit who possessed you,
with whom did she replace you?

What?

Oh, God. Oh, God. She stabbed me.

Focus!

She's a woman with brown hair.

She... We followed her
from Prescott Street.

The pink house on Prescott Street.

What was her plan?

She was... She was saying something
about wanting to kill some guy.

Something about revenge.

Predictable. After all,
that's exactly what I would do.

How...? How am I still alive?

Oh, no. Not still. Again.

My specialty, along with this.

Benjamin Colerige Turner
died in 1888,

although there's no date of death
for his wife.

That's odd, there should
be some record of that.

They had a baby though,
didn't they, I think?

Yes, a son. Cole Turner,
born in 1885.

Never got to know his father,
unfortunately.

Cole Turner. That can't be.

Well, that's strange. There's no
date of death for him either.

Must be another clerical error.

Can't imagine he's alive
and kicking at 115.

No, can't imagine that.

Don't you get it?
He's going to find us.

Okay, I'll say it again slowly.
Try to follow this time.

I'm not going to tell you
what my powers are.

I can't figure out
if you're stubborn or stupid.

If I can't fight him,
he's going to kill us.

He's looking for me.

I can feel him. He's getting close.

Well, get out of my body,
and I'll help you fight him.

I can't survive without a body,

and I'd much rather
your soul die than mine.

My sisters will figure out
what you've done and...

And what? What do you plan to do?
Wave to them from the mirror?

You're nothing
but my reflection to them.

I controlled my arm at P3.
I used my voice.

- I'll get stronger, and when I do...
- Wrong.

You'll get weaker,
and in a few hours you'll die.

And there's really nothing
you can do about it.

Well, then you better
watch your back.

Because if I die, my sisters will
make you wish you died with me.

Care about you a lot,
these sisters of yours.

Think they'd come running
to help you fight off an angry demon?

Hello, I'd like the number
for P3, please.

What do you think you're doing?

Well, you may have a death wish,
but I don't.

And if you won't help me,
I know someone who will.

Are you almost finished with that?

Because I need you
to help the DJ set up.

That's the third time
that's happened.

That's too bad.

Oh, man.

Okay, you guys, just don't panic,
because there's plenty of time.

Heather, get the bags.
Melissa, the streamers. Let's go.

Man, I think Missy's
gonna have an embolism.

Yeah, can you hand me
those glasses?

It's weird, though, right?
I mean, those balloons?

She used, like, three pounds of tape.

Scotch tape, hardly sturdy.

Yeah, but I still think
you might have a poltergeist.

- A what?
- You know, a ghost that plays tricks.

Yeah, I know what a poltergeist is.

But do you really believe
in that stuff?

Yeah, absolutely.
Makes life interesting.

- What?
- Nothing, it's just that...

I think believing in the supernatural
should definitely be on my list.

- P3.
- Prue?

- It's me.
- Piper, what's wrong?

I... I got home, and there was
a demon in the house.

Are you okay? Did you freeze him?

Freeze him? That's good.

No, he got away. And he had this wild
hair and these intense, bulging eyes,

and he said he was gonna
come back.

All right. Look in the Book of Shadows
for a vanquish,

and I'll pick up Phoebe.
We'll meet you at the house, okay?

Okay, but hurry. Because he could
come back any minute.

All right, bye.

Where's the Book?

You just made a big mistake
calling my sisters home.

Is that what you think?

- That is what I know.
- Well, here's what I think.

When your precious sisters
come home,

I'll kill you and possess one of them.

And if that one won't help me,
I'll simply repeat the process.

So, what do you say, Piper?

One dead demon
or three dead witches?

- The Book of Shadows is in the attic.
- Good choice.

- Hello?
- Hey, all right, don't panic.

But Piper found a demon
in the house, and I'm on my way...

Was it...?

Wait. What...?
Who was it? What demon?

Well, he had wild hair and bulging eyes
and said that he would be back.

Anyway, I'm on my way to the library
to pick you up, all right?

So just meet me out front.

- Phoebe?
- Actually, Prue, I'm not at the library.

Well, where are you?

Downtown, at the Historical Society.

I needed to do some research
for a project.

All right, it's fine. I'll come and
pick you up, just meet me out front.

Bye.

I can't wait for your sisters.
Can't I just do the spell myself?

No, it's a power-of-three spell.
You can't do it by yourself.

What kind of witch can't kill
a demon without her sisters?

What the hell kind of demon
has a panic attack

when her boyfriend
comes to visit?

Hi, this is where you freeze him.

Interesting move, Terra.

The dagger in the heart.

Crude, but I can't say
I wouldn't have done the same.

Of course, now I will.

Kierkan, there's something
I need to tell you.

You just pissed off
one of the Charmed Ones.

Piper?

Prue, I have the spell.

Let flesh be flesh
And bone be bone

The alchemist
Shall transform none

Cruel scientist of evil born

With these words
Face the fire's scorn

No!

I could've helped you.

Now she'll destroy you.

All right, what did you say
his name was again?

Kierkan. But he's dead.
So, what are we doing up here?

Well, because we have to at least
acknowledge the fact

that there's some kind
of she-demon after us, Piper.

Why?

"I could have helped you,
now she'll destroy you"?

- It's not exactly cryptic.
- Said by a demon. Demons lie.

So I say we get rid
of the ugly little bottle

and get on with our lives.

Piper, this bottle is our only clue.

I mean, maybe he was lying,
but maybe he wasn't.

You know, sometimes demons
actually tell the truth.

Well, I have a party to get ready for.

Changing your clothes again?

Definitely.

- Prue, I'm dying.
- What?

I'm dying to get out of these clothes.

Are you sure you don't mind
if I leave?

No, go ahead. We'll let you know
if we find anything.

What's up with her?

That's funny. I was kind of wondering
the same thing about you.

Phoebe, why did you lie to us?

Why did you say that you were gonna
be at the library all night?

Okay.

I wanted to check out Cole's ancestry,
and I knew that you wouldn't like it.

You have to know that you can talk
to me, and I'm not gonna judge you.

I mean, if you still have feelings
for Belthazor...

No, I don't still have feelings
for Belthazor.

I still have feelings for Cole.

I mean, he was half human.

He tried to kill us
for two months, Phoebe.

Half human or not,
that still makes him a bad guy.

But he didn't kill us
because of his good side, Prue.

Which was very good.

I mean, his dad was a statesman,

who did all these
amazing things. Look.

His good side and his evil side,
they're both dead.

And I don't think separating them
in your mind

is going to help you
let him go.

I just really need to believe
in his good side right now, Prue.

All right.

Let's just focus on the demon
that's after us now, okay?

Okay.

Okay, we vanquished
your boyfriend.

Now, why don't you give me my body
back and save yourself while you can?

The only way I know how to get out
of the body is a knife to the heart.

You don't really want that, do you?

So tell my sisters,
and they will come up with a spell

to get you out of me safely.

And then in exchange,
we'll let you go free.

And give up the power to freeze?

A chance to be one
of the infamous Charmed Ones?

No, thanks. I think I'll stay.

But don't worry, it'll be over soon.

It's easier if you don't fight it.

Well, if my sisters don't figure
you out and destroy you,

my boyfriend, Tom, will.

Wow.

Tom. You scared me,
I didn't hear the door.

I didn't use the door.
Did you just call me Tom?

Did I?

Forgive me.

- What's wrong?
- Nothing.

It's just your kisses seem different.

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

That's just because I've never
wanted you so much.

Piper, what's my name?

You just couldn't leave
well enough alone, could you?

That's okay. He's too cute to kill.

And anyways, by the time
he wakes up, you'll be gone.

Besides, I have a party to attend.
And lots to celebrate.

Apparently, alchemists
can transform anything, you know,

like water into gold,
energy into matter.

They even have the ability
to bring the dead back to life.

But it doesn't really say
anything about...

- That's weird.
- What?

Piper just left without Leo,
and she didn't say goodbye to us,

or come up and show us
what she's wearing or anything.

Here's the bottle
under alchemist's tools.

- What's it say?
- "Essence bearer:

An alchemist would use a bottle
such as this

to capture or store a life essence."

A life essence?

"A life essence is comparable
to a human soul

but made in a mixing lab.

A well-made life essence
can possess any living being,

but would prove toxic

and eventually lethal
to the being's pre-existing soul."

- Oh, my God.
- What?

She's been acting really...

And she left without saying...
And... And...

The bottle, she wanted to destroy it.

Okay, I'm trying to jump on
your thought train here, Prue,

but you're moving
a little too fast for me.

He was looking at her when he said
that she would destroy us.

- She's possessed. Piper is possessed.
- What?

All right. We have to write a spell,
a dispossessing spell.

- Come on, let's go.
- Okay.

I'm not saying that you're wrong,

I'm just saying that I hope
you're wrong, you know?

Hope dashed.

All right. Come on,
we need to get her alone.

Hey, you're Piper's sisters, right?

- Yeah, good memory.
- Okay, listen.

I think I know
what Piper's going through.

I have been sober
for about five years now myself.

And if Piper ever wants
to go to a meeting,

would you...

tell her to call me, okay?
- Okay.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Great.
- Great.

It's a good thing Leo is not here.

Dennis, what is the matter with you?

Oh, wow, honey, I'm sorry.

I am so sorry.

Hi, your wife went that way. Bye.

We need to show you something.

Host soul
Reject the poison essence

Let love's light
End this cruel possession

Clever, girls. Piper said
you would figure it out.

Although Piper won't be saying
anything in about half an hour.

She's too strong.
We need the power of three.

You have ten seconds
to leave on your own.

Or what? What are you gonna do,
hit me with another rhyming couplet?

I'm made from Kierkan's blood,
which means I have his powers.

Add that to Piper's powers,

and I'm stronger
than your average essence.

Okay, we need help.
Leo. Leo!

Oh, is that the boyfriend?
I had to give him a little jolt.

He'll be unconscious for a while.

You might be able
to knock out a whitelighter,

but don't even think you can
take on the Charmed Ones.

The bottle won't work on me
unless I'm not in a body.

And to get me out,

you'd have to kill your own sister.
Call me a gambler,

but I seriously doubt
you're willing to do that.

Get the hell out of my sister.

All right...

if you insist.
- No, don't!

That's what I thought.

- Are you gonna fill me in on the plan?
- I'll explain on the way.

- On the way where?
- Home.

All right, there she is.
We need Leo.

- Hi, you're coming with us, okay?
- Like hell I am.

Piper, listen to me.

Catfight. Dude.

Look at that.

She's using karate.

Nice.

I knew they weren't that close.

Hey. Hi. She's probably possessed.

- A little help to the car?
- You okay?

- All right.
- Okay.

- All right.
- Show's over, people.

Just talk amongst yourselves. Cool.

All right, if we can get back
the power of three,

we stand a chance.

I still don't understand
how this is gonna work.

She has the alchemist's powers,
which means she has the ability

- to bring the dead back to life.
- Yeah, but she's not dead, Prue.

Is there something
you're not telling me?

Phoebe, I just need you
to trust me, okay?

So go find Leo, wake him up,
and get him down here fast.

Piper?

I know that you're in there somewhere,
all right, so just try and listen.

Just remember
that no matter what happens,

I'm gonna bring you back.

I am so sorry, honey.

I know that you tried
to tell me in the attic, and l...

I'm gonna fix it, okay?

I promise, I'll bring you back.

Please forgive me
for what I'm about to do.

- No!
- Prue!

Prue, I can't heal the dead.

Now you can.

That I didn't expect.

Little sibling rivalry
I failed to take into account?

Shut up.

Bring Piper back to life,
and I'll let you keep Leo's body.

Refuse, and I'll put that knife
through his heart

and suck you back
in the bottle forever.

But then your sister
and her boyfriend would be dead.

Not the world's smartest plan.

She's already dead,
I have nothing left to lose.

Give me the bottle,
and I'll bring her back.

Bring our sister back,
and we'll give you the bottle.

Caducas ex animas

Vita aetas anima

- Host soul, reject the poison essence
- No!

Let love's light
End this cruel possession

Leo, she's still bleeding.

Oh, I'm so sorry that
you missed your reunion.

Put on a good show, though.
Table dancing, catfight...

- Table dancing?
- Never mind.

It's all right. I don't care
what these people think anyway.

Really? That's new.

Yeah, well, my priorities
were a little skewed.

And thank you
for knowing the difference

between my kisses and hers.

- And you, for being brave enough to...
- Oh, what? Kill you?

Yeah. Couldn't come up
with a better plan, huh?

No.

Okay, I guess I'm gonna call Morris
and tell him about the body in the alley.

So you said you were gonna explain
about the bar brawl.

And you waited all this time
just for an explanation?

Why, Mr. Harper, I do believe
that you're blushing.

Well, that's nothing
you haven't seen before.

- So am I gonna get that explanation?
- Absolutely.

When?

When you call me.

I thought younger guys
were not on your list.

What list?

You okay?

I don't know.

Phoebe, you've gotta give it
some time.

- Cole...
- Seduced me.

And I let him.

On the other hand, Piper was
completely taken over by evil,

and she fought it
every step of the way.

A seduction
is subtler than possession.

It's harder to fight.

You didn't know Cole was evil.

Nobody did.

When you found out,
you vanquished him.

You have nothing to be ashamed of.

He's still alive.

For me.

He's still alive for me.