Charmed (1998–2006): Season 2, Episode 6 - That Old Black Magic - full transcript

There, that's gotta be it.

I don't know. Looks kind of small
to be a mineshaft, doesn't it?

Maybe it was bigger in the 1800s.

X marks the spot. Let's check it out.

- Definitely not a good sign.
- You're such a wimp.

You were saying?

Ten bucks says this is
where the gold is hidden. Hold this.

Ryan, I think these are all
warning signs.

Stop worrying about it.

I'm free.

- What year is this? Speak!
- 1999.



Two hundred years?

- My wand. Where's my wand?
- Your what?

My wand! Where is it?

Don't know
what you're talking about.

Too bad.

- What the hell just happened?
- I don't know.

She shrunk us.

- What do you think she wants?
- How should I know?

- Here she comes.
- I told you this was too dangerous!

Fine, but what are we
gonna do now?

- Oh, no.
- Run!

You're welcome.

Now...

...find my wand.



Phoebe, we are televising this live.
Can't it wait?

Prue, Dan's truck
just pulled up outside.

Dan's truck? So?

So Piper is with him, and they're
kissing. And I'm not just talking about

your thanks-for-lunch
peck-on-the-cheek kind of kiss.

They mean business.

Okay. What is the problem? They
like each other. This is a good thing.

No, I know. I'm just worried
that she's moving too fast.

Like she's too in a hurry to get
involved with someone else.

Look, Piper's a big girl. And really, I
mean, it's none of our business, right?

- Right?
- Isn't it sort of our business?

Okay, Phoebe,

Piper cannot just sit around
for the rest of her life waiting for Leo.

She's trying to move on.

- Besides, Dan's a great guy.
- Okay, we're on in five, Miss Halliwell.

Okay, gotta go. Bye.

It's about freaking time.

Leo, whatever happened
to knocking?

I'm sorry, but there's no time. Where's
Prue and Piper? We have to talk.

You know, now's not really
a good time, okay? I know.

How about you orb back in
in, say, an hour?

- Okay? That would be great, bye-bye.
- I can't.

The worst thing imaginable
just happened.

No kidding.

It's not that it isn't great to see you,
Leo, because it is.

But you can't just orb in
whenever it's convenient.

It hasn't been a problem before.

Yeah. Well, things have changed.

- I can see that.
- Leo.

Sorry. Wasn't fair.

- Where's Prue?
- At work.

Fine, then we'll have to start
without her.

- Your friend Dan has to leave now.
- Oh, really? Why?

Because you and your sisters
have a very big problem.

A magical problem.

Look, this isn't personal.
It's business.

What else is new?

You know, that handyman guy sure
does seem to hang around here a lot.

Well, it's an old house.
Lots of things need fixing.

Then why is Piper so upset?

Because there are some things
that he can't fix

the way she wants it.

You know what, I'm late for a job.
If you can just have her call me later.

Lipstick.

- Thanks.
- You're welcome.

- Are, like, Piper and Leo...?
- You're late.

Dan, wait.

Well, I wouldn't know
where to begin anyway.

- Everything okay, sweetie?
- Oh, no.

- Come on, we gotta get going.
- Going? Where are we going?

I'll explain on the way.

No, Leo, you'll explain now.
We're not going anywhere.

Two hundred years ago,
a good witch turned evil,

started using her craft
against innocents.

Fortunately, she was tricked
into a cave and entombed.

But unfortunately, this morning,
Tuatha escaped.

Tuatha?

Who wouldn't go bad
with a name like that?

So you want us to find her
and vanquish her. What's the big deal?

The big deal is you can't vanquish her.
No witch can.

She kills good witches.

Leo, if we can't defeat her,
then who can?

There's only one person.
He's known as the chosen one.

- The chosen one, is he a witch?
- No, he's a normal person,

other than the fact that he was born
to use Tuatha's wand against her.

So, what do you want from us?
Why don't you just go get him?

I need you to protect him from Tuatha
until the wand comes to him.

It shouldn't be long.

Lore has it that once the witch is free,
the wand will find him.

But if she finds it first...

- She'll kill the chosen one.
- And then she'll come after you too.

The design of inlaid garnets
with pewter and ebony

is distinctly 18th-century European.

Eighteenth century?
I had no idea it was that old.

The faceted-cut amber headpiece
surrounded by the symbolic snake

suggests that it was
an ornamental staff or a ritual wand.

And I bought it
at a flea market for 15 dollars.

But you'll be very pleased to hear that
at auction you could easily get $5,000.

Good Lord.

Of course, an item
is only worth as much

as someone is willing to pay for it,
though. Isn't that right?

I'm sorry, who are you?

Jack Sheridan,
from Sheridan Internet Auctions.

If you own it, I can sell it.

Okay. How nice for you.
But this is my appraisal.

Oh, and it's a very impressive one too.

But can you guarantee this nice lady
that someone will actually pay

$5,000 for this at auction?

- There are no guarantees, but...
- Thirty seconds.

Betty, I'm willing to give you
$1,000 cash today.

Yeah, well, then you would be
robbing her of $4,000.

But you said yourself that you
can't guarantee that.

Oh, but I suppose you just have
$1,000 cash in your pocket.

Well, would you like
to find out yourself?

No need. I can tell there's
not much there just by looking.

Betty, I can have $1,000 cash for you
this afternoon. What do you say?

I say sold.

Here's my address.

- And I'll see you there this afternoon.
- It's a deal.

Cut, and that's a wrap.
Excellent, folks.

- Very entertaining.
- Yeah, for you.

Look, forgive me, I just...
I wanted to be on the same stage

- as Prue Halliwell.
- Why?

Because it gives my startup company
instant credibility, that's why.

You know, if the other specialists
at Buckland's

have your expertise and talents,

I might reconsider
their standing job offer.

I turned them down last year.

You wouldn't like it here, Mr Sheridan.
We don't lie or cheat.

I don't lie.

You know what, l...
I better get to the bank.

I have a wand to buy.

Wanna bet?

I don't know. An evil witch who gets
her jollies killing good witches?

Maybe we should have waited
for Prue to get home.

- There's no time.
- Okay, please tell me we're here

because the chosen one is a big,
burly football coach.

No. But he is the seventh son
of the seventh son.

We've been watching him
since he was a young boy.

Okay, so how old is he now?

- See, over there.
- He's a high school student?

- And he's a nerd.
- Hey, I didn't choose him, they did.

If he can help save you,
that's all I care about.

Leo, he's a teenager. How can we
let him go up against Tuatha?

She'll destroy him.

Not if he finds the wand
and learns how to use it.

Besides, she knows
he's the chosen one.

If we don't help him, she'll find him
and destroy him anyway.

Doesn't sound like
we have much of a choice.

This is wrong. He should be battling
acne at his age, not evil witches.

Yeah, but look at us.
Do we look like we should be

the all-powerful Charmed Ones?

- What's his name?
- Kyle. Kyle Gwydion.

- Does he know yet?
- No.

Any idea on how we're supposed to
get him to come with us?

I have an idea. He likes magic, right?
Let's show him ours.

- Hey. It's Kyle, right?
- Do I know you?

Not yet, but you will.
You'll know the both of us.

I think you might have me confused
with somebody else.

- Nope, you're the one.
- The chosen one.

That was real subtle.

You heard what Leo said,
clock's a-ticking. Hey, Kyle,

do you believe in magic?
Real magic?

I gotta go.

Piper, we have to show him
before someone sees.

Kyle.

- Now what?
- You wait here.

Behind you.

- How did you do that?
- Magic.

Wanna know more?

Help me, somebody.

Help me!

Well done.

That's my wand.

My God! Who are you?

The last being you will ever see.

Betty.

No. It's all right.

We don't have to follow her.

She's a good witch.
She'll come back to us.

- So you're witches.
- Right.

- And I'm the chosen one.
- Correct.

And why exactly am I
the chosen one again?

Because you're the only one
who can defeat Tuatha.

Leo, please.

I'm sorry, we don't have
a lot of time here.

All the more reason
not to freak Kyle out.

Too late.

Look, Kyle, I know that
this is a lot for you to take in.

And your first instinct
is probably to resist it.

I mean, I know that's how we felt when
we first found out we were witches.

Still do sometimes.

But we've learned that you
cannot fight your destiny.

It's like fighting who you are,
who you're meant to be.

And your destiny is to vanquish
the evil witch Tuatha.

I bet one of my brothers
put you up to this. Right?

What, Sean?

No, no, I bet... I bet it was lan.
Or Dylan?

I'm always the butt of their jokes.

- Kyle, listen...
- No, you... You listen.

This is a joke.

I'm not the chosen one.

I'm no one.

You made a mistake.

- Kyle, wait.
- What do we do? What do we do?

Stop him.

- Whoa, who are you?
- Nobody.

- It glowed.
- That's the wand.

It has to be, it recognizes you, Kyle.

- Recognizes? What do you mean?
- Where did you get that?

From someone that I think that
I should tell you about in private.

- Someone named Tuatha?
- Tuatha?

Let Kyle hold the wand.

Go ahead, it won't hurt you.

It found you,
just like it's supposed to.

Okay, time out. Attic, anyone?

Kyle, why don't you go
into the kitchen

and help yourself
to whatever you want.

- That is, if you're staying.
- I'm staying.

I don't know for how long, though.

I'll be right back.

Leo, he's just a kid. Besides,
you haven't seen Tuatha's power.

I mean, she made
a woman disappear, literally.

It's his destiny
to defeat Tuatha, Prue.

- Then why did I get the wand?
- To make sure it got to him.

It's part of the lore. If you guys
were meant to defeat Tuatha,

there would be a spell in
the Book of Shadows, and there isn't.

- He's right. We checked.
- Twice.

Which means we need to spend
what little time we have left

teaching Kyle how to use the wand.

Look, Leo, I know that you never
guided us down the wrong path before.

But please, at least let us
try to defeat Tuatha.

If we fail, then fine,
we'll help you with Kyle.

She'll kill you.

Don't bet on it.

All right, we need to start by finding out
where Tuatha is before she finds us.

- Piper, are you with us?
- Yep.

Hey, it's me.

- Hi.
- Who are you?

Apparently, I'm the chosen one.

I haven't seen you around before.
What's your name?

- Kyle.
- Jenny.

- You a friend of theirs?
- No.

No, I'm just supposed to help them
with something. Maybe.

- I don't know.
- Well, what's that?

- It's magic.
- I don't believe in magic.

You're kidding.
Everybody believes in magic.

Not me.

That is so cool.
How are you doing that?

I have no idea.

What the hell do you think
you're doing?

I was just...

Telling your friend goodbye?

Fine, I can take a hint.

Just tell Piper that my uncle Dan
needs to talk to her, okay?

- Sure.
- Bye.

Bye.

So still think you're not
the chosen one?

There you are.

"To disempower a witch.

Fresh human heart."

- Here it is. A scrying spell.
- Scrying? What's that?

It's what witches use to magically find
something or someone.

It says that we need a map,
a piece of string and a crystal.

Okay.

Day three. I'm definitely lost
in the woods.

Separated from the other two.

Running out of food,

water.

Little scared.

- Sorry, did I scare you?
- Hell, yeah, you did.

Are you lost?

Yeah, totally. Just walking
around in circles.

Couple of friends and me were making
a documentary on the Blair Witch.

Did you know that it takes
15 to 20 seconds

for a person to die after their heart
has been damaged?

And since that time's almost up,

from the bottom of my heart,
I thank you for yours.

Okay, we found her.
Lost Caves, Muir Woods.

Yeah, l...

I can't make it do it again.

- You did it before.
- I don't know how.

I mean, I was just trying
to impress Jenny, that's all.

Well, that's how. It came from
your heart, from inside of you.

- You willed it.
- So what?

So I'm supposed to will
some evil witch dead?

But why me? You know,
I don't understand, out of all people...

Don't sell yourself short, Kyle.
You saw what you did before.

Now, that was you.

All you have to do
is believe in yourself.

Now, try it again.

Leo, we found her.

So we're gonna go pay her
a little visit.

No, wait, don't. Please.

It's nothing personal, Leo,
it's just business.

You.

Thrilled to see me, I see.
This is a really nice house, Prue.

Buckland's obviously pays
better than I thought.

What do you want,
and how did you find me?

I followed your scent.
Must de Cartier, right?

Now, that is a classy perfume.
Though I'm hardly surprised.

Could I have my wand back, please?

You see, Betty never called,
and I couldn't contact her,

because her address mysteriously
fell out of my pocket somehow.

You wouldn't know anything
about that, would you?

So you're blaming me
for something that you lost.

Isn't that a little juvenile?
I mean, what's next,

a shoving match on the jungle gym,
a war over juice cups?

Prue, we really need to get going.

The wand is mine, Prue,
and you know it.

All's fair in love and war.

Piper.

- Hi, Dan.
- Piper, wait...

- Is he still here?
- Never left, actually.

Prue, I'm kind of in a hurry here,
so if I could just get my wand and...

All right, you know what?
Dan, Piper will call you back later.

You, whoever you are,
sorry, no wand.

Leo, keep working with Kyle,
just in case.

Us, out the back door.
Out the back door.

Don't you have
some other house to repair?

No.

We should be getting close.

Hey, there it is.

Kind of creepy in there. And dark.

All right, I'll go in first,
since she only knows about me.

You guys just wait a couple
of seconds, then follow.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Thank you for not
keeping me waiting long.

- How did you know that...?
- Neophyte witches

are always so predictable.

Like I said, I cast a spell,
removed your powers.

Obviously, you didn't
count on that, witch.

And obviously, you didn't
count on her sister witches.

Are you guys okay?

Three witches.
I'll be ready for that next time.

Cool.

Well, it was.

Both hands. All right,
you have to use both hands.

I didn't need both hands
when I made it spin before.

Well, you'll need both hands
against Tuatha.

If she gets the wand from you,
she becomes invincible,

and you will not
be able to vanquish her.

Now, just do as I say.
Pretend I'm evil, all right?

You connect to your destiny
by connecting to yourself.

Will me away.

Look, give it up, Obi-Wan, all right?

- You got the wrong guy.
- No, I don't.

All right, you are not just
the seventh son.

You are the seventh generation
of chosen ones.

It's in your blood.
You just have to believe.

Believe in what?

What, myself?

Forget it.

- Look, you can't just give up.
- Just did.

Innocent people are going to die.
Are you willing to live with that?

No, now, don't you
lay that crap on me!

Oh, does that make you mad?

Good. At least that means
finally you're being the real you.

Screw you.

That's right, get pissed at me.
Show me your anger.

Maybe you'll figure out
what you're really angry about.

You don't think you're the chosen one,
you think you're forgotten.

Sick and tired of it too, aren't you?
Aren't you?

Leo?

Not bad.

What was that crash?

- What happened in here?
- Little training, that's all.

"That's all"? Do you have any idea
how much that's gonna cost to fix?

Well, I know who's gonna be fixing it.
Leo, what if somebody saw you?

Oh, someone like neighbour Dan?

- Hey, you're bleeding.
- It's nothing.

- So you guys kick some butt or what?
- Or what.

Tuatha was ready for us,
or at least for me.

She stripped away my power.

And then literally disappeared
before I had the chance to freeze her.

It's a good thing she wasn't
expecting all three of us,

or we wouldn't have
gotten out of there.

You're lucky you did.
Now, will you help me with Kyle?

Why are you so ready to send
a teenager up against an evil

- that we can't even defeat?
- Because he can.

At least, he can with the wand.

And he's getting better at it too.

I'm out of here.

- Kyle, wait.
- No.

What the hell is the matter with you?
They're even scared of her.

I told you, you have made
a huge mistake. I can't do this.

Leo, you can't make him.
Even if it is his destiny.

I hope he doesn't tell anyone
we're witches.

Won't matter much if we're dead.

Okay, nobody knows
the Book of Shadows better than you.

So if black magic
can strip away powers,

then surely white magic
can do the same, right? Let's go.

Joshua!

- I'm telling you, Heath, he's dead.
- He's not dead, Michael.

Joshua!

Hey.

Looking for the Blair Witch?

Before the passing of this hour
Take away all of their powers

Find my wand.

Want me to heal that for you?

- I'm fine.
- Come on.

No.

It just gets all confusing when
we're close and when you touch me.

I don't wanna be confused anymore.

Hey.

Look, Leo, you just do your job,
and I'll do mine, okay?

This is my job, Piper.

Thanks.

He'll never understand you,
you know.

Your secret, what you're all about.

Not like I can.

Maybe not.

But at least I can count on him
to be there for me when I need him.

- Kyle! Uncle Dan, stop.
- Who's he?

Just some friend of Piper's.
He's cool.

- I'll be home soon.
- Soon when?

- An hour?
- School night.

Half an hour.

Hey.

Where you going?

Just out of here.

- Where's your magic wand?
- It's not mine.

- Never was.
- Sure could have fooled me.

Are you okay?

How long have you known
the Halliwells?

Couple months. Why?

They have this screwed-up idea
that I'm...

Well, that I'm somebody that I'm not.

Never mind. It doesn't matter.

Phoebe once told me
that if it matters to you, it matters.

So if they think you're somebody,
Kyle, then you probably are.

Thanks.

Piper?

Any luck?

Well, I did find one spell,
but it requires a human heart,

and unfortunately,
we're all still using ours.

Well, take mine. All it does
is get me in trouble anyway.

- Snake.
- Oh, I'm the snake?

- But you're the one who...
- Snake!

Look out!

- Tuatha... Okay, Piper, freeze him.
- I'm trying. It's not working.

Prue! Prue.

Prue. What should we do?

- Kyle.
- Leo, do something.

Kyle, catch.

Die!

Thanks.

Okay, this is a potion
to induce sleep.

This one is to repel an evil threat.
And that one puts out a fire.

- What kind of potion does that?
- None. It's water.

I didn't have a lot of time. It was
the best that I could do, okay?

What about the potion
to give Kyle more courage?

I remembered wrong.
There isn't one.

- Well, that's disappointing.
- You guys, I'm scared.

And not just for him, but for us.

I don't like feeling so powerless.

Maybe that's our lesson for the day,
not taking our powers for granted.

Maybe. But if we're gonna
get our powers back,

then we're gonna have to help Kyle
defeat Tuatha.

Well, we're just gonna
have to find a way

to make Kyle feel more courageous
without magic, that's all.

Come on.

- How's it going?
- Good.

- I think he's ready.
- You think?

I'm ready.

I mean, as ready
as I can be, anyway.

You know, it's funny, I always
wanted to be somebody special.

You should be careful
what you wish for.

Believe me, we can relate.

Phoebe, the sleeping potion.

So young. So new to the craft.

Now, this is a sleeping potion.

Hey! What the...?

Now, the wand, if you please.

Not much of a chosen one, are you?

At least the last one
was able to entomb me.

Like I will now entomb you.

Prue, the courage potion.

- What? There is no courage potion.
- No? Now who's teaching who?

Kyle, get the wand. You can do it.

I wish for the wand.

My wand!

Don't give up, Kyle. Believe.

- I wish you gone forever!
- No!

Leo.

- You're hurt.
- I'm okay.

- Let me get you some ice.
- Really, I'm fine.

- Are you getting even?
- No.

Just finally getting it.

What you want.

What you deserve.

A normal life...

...or at least as normal of a life
as you can get.

Which means a normal relationship.

Which I can't give you.

Guess we know now why witches
and whitelighters

aren't supposed to fall in love, huh?

- It's broken.
- It served its purpose.

Yeah.

Thanks to your magical boost
of courage.

Kyle, Tuatha was right.

There was no courage potion,
we made it up.

You defeated her all by yourself.

Well, still, it doesn't...

Doesn't change anything.

Nobody would believe me
even if I told them what I did.

Yeah, but you know what you did.

And as long as you keep
believing in that,

you can change whatever you want.

Who knows what
you're still destined for.

What are you gonna tell him about
what happened to the poor lady

- who owned the wand?
- Well, what can I tell him?

Look, I called him because I just
wanna get rid of this thing, that's all.

Are you sure it's not just an excuse
to see him again?

Phoebe, don't be ridiculous.
This is business, it's not personal.

Where have I heard that before?

Got a date, gotta go.

Well, for what it's worth,
I think Jack is pretty cute.

Yeah, well, he's a jerk.
How do I look?

- Fab.
- Thanks.

Hey. I just thought that you
might wanna have this back.

I mean, after all,
it is rightfully yours. Okay.

Hold it.

What's wrong with this picture?

Looks like it broke.

Keen eye, Prue.

It kind of lowers the value
of the wand, don't you think?

Bright side, at least it's worth
what you were gonna buy it for now.

Come on. Have a drink.

You can brag to me how you
outsmarted me with the wand.

I do like to learn from the best.

Okay, I'll brag a little.

Bartender.

- Right this way, sir.
- Thanks.

You're welcome.

- Hi.
- Hi.

After you.

Thanks for coming. I hope a late,
late dinner is okay with you.

Look, I'm gonna make this
easy for you.

I know that you
and that handyman, Leon...

- Leo.
- Right, Leo.

I know that you guys
are more than just friends.

I'm not dumb. I mean,
he's always around the house...

Dan, it's over.

Oh, no, I don't mean you and me,
I meant him and me.

That's why I wanted
to see you tonight.

I didn't want there to be
any more confusion.

You sure?

Yeah, I'm sure.