Charmed (1998–2006): Season 2, Episode 4 - The Devil's Music - full transcript

This place couldn't be more dead
if I was embalmed.

Yeah, I think that we're gonna
have to take that offer.

- What's this guy's name again?
- Chris Barker.

And he's not a loan shark
or anything, is he?

No. He's a collector, an investor.

And it's a no-interest loan that
we can pay back any time.

And trust me,
he's not gonna miss the money.

- Must be nice. When do we tell Piper?
- Not until the club is in the black.

So you guys do like the name
of the club right? P3?

Little nod to the power of three,
to us, partners?

Yeah, it's very clever.
Piper, it's a little...



...quiet in here, don't you think?

Lt'll pick up
once word of mouth kicks in.

And when will that be, exactly?

Well, you can't predict
these things exactly.

It's not like starting a restaurant.

Besides, the bank's
not gonna call the loan.

It's not like we're gonna
lose the house.

Who said anything
about losing the house?

We're not gonna lose
the house, are we?

No, because we're gonna take
that offer and trust Piper

- to pack this place with people.
- What people?

Where is everybody?

So you, like,
produce the records, or what?

No, no, nothing that creative.
I'm their new manager.



I take care of things.
Whatever needs to be done, I do.

Man, I can't believe this.
This is, like,

the most unbelievable thing
that has ever happened to me.

Well, the night's young.

- I can't believe you picked me.
- Well, you seemed like a good soul.

Plus, you said the magic words. You
said you'd do anything, remember?

Yes, yes, I do.

All right. So wait inside,
the band should be down any minute.

Thank you, thank you so much.

Don't thank me yet.

Hello?
Is somebody there? Hello?

Hurry up, damn it!

Okay, that's it. No more.

I can't keep doing this.
It's gotta stop.

We have a pact.

You get what you want,
and I get what I want.

I want.

Good morning, San Francisco.
This is Ralph Garman,

and that was Dishwalla's hit,
"Counting Blue Cars."

Dishwalla and their manager,
Jeff Carlton,

are my in-studio guests this morning,

talking about club dates here and
around the country. So stay tuned,

and we'll let you know
where you can see them.

- Excuse me.
- They want him to go in 30 seconds.

Jerk. You know where
the bathroom is?

Yeah, it's right over...

- Hey, what is this?
- An intervention.

This is bad.

You should keep
that door locked, you know?

Anyone could just walk in.

Jenny, what are you doing here?

Am I breaking the law right now?
Being underage and all?

No, we're not open.
Actually, I don't know.

What's your point, Jenny?

Well, if you were open for business,

and I was in here,
would you have me arrested?

Because I think friendship counts
for something,

and even though
we're not really friends yet...

But at least we're neighbours,

and neighbours do favours
for each other, right?

- What kind of favours?
- I need a ticket to the show.

- What show?
- It's all over the radio.

I have to see them. If I don't, I'll die.

- Not a clue what you're talking about.
- She's talking about passion.

Piper Halliwell?

- Yeah, can I help you with something?
- Jeff Carlton.

I have to tell you,
when I heard about "P-Cubed,"

it was as if the fates
had smiled upon me.

- P3.
- Whatever.

I manage Dishwalla.

Dishwalla? The Dishwalla?

I've been looking for the right
kind of place,

something small, new, intimate.

The boys wanna reacquaint
themselves

with the personal side of performing.

They wanna connect again.

I think your little hole in the wall
here is just what the doctor ordered.

Dishwalla wants to play
my "little hole in the wall"?

I want them to. Don't you?

- Yeah.
- Then let's cross some T's

and dot some I's.

Mr Carlton, sir,

do you think it'll be possible
for me to meet the band?

I'd do almost anything.

Careful what you wish for,
sweetheart.

- Prue, don't feel awkward.
- Well, it's a big deal.

I know, starting a business
with that bank loan

breathing down your neck
can make things kind of scary.

- Yeah, on top of your loan.
- Hey, listen, I have no doubt

I'll be seeing my money again

after your sister gets her club
off the ground.

- And the terms are still the same?
- Absolutely. No interest.

- No, we'll pay you interest.
- Okay, fine.

A quarter percent, whatever.

Now, speaking of getting off
the ground,

that plane trip to Paris
is still open for discussion, isn't it?

Mr Barker...

I mean, come on,
hasn't that rain check

burned a hole in your pocket
by now?

Look, I really appreciate your offer...

It's not an offer, Prue.
It's a dinner request.

In Paris.

You know what
they call French bread in France?

- Bread.
- Exactly.

Dinner in Paris is where it all begins.

You know, why don't we just start
with your loan,

followed with us paying
you back as soon as possible.

- You're a hard bargainer.
- So are you.

Oh, I haven't even begun to fight.

Paris?

- Stop it.
- Never.

I'll see you at the club
with the money.

Okay, bye-bye.

Well, it's all set.

Mr Barker's gonna meet us
at the club,

hand over the check,
and that'll be that.

We're doing the right thing,
aren't we?

Well, we're helping out our sister.
That's always the right thing, right?

Guess what I did!
Guess what I did!

- All by myself!
- What?

- You ready?
- What?

Get this: Dishwalla, my club,
playing there tonight.

- What?
- I networked,

sent out feelers,
sent off press releases,

and wouldn't you know it, Dishwalla
decided to put P3 on their schedule.

How's about that? P3 has officially
been validated as the place to be.

We are on the map.

And I couldn't have done it
without you, you patient,

most generous sisters
in the whole wide world.

I'll get it.

Leo. This day just keeps
getting better. Hi.

- Hi. Piper, we have to talk.
- Yeah, okay.

Are you free tonight?
Better be, because you're my date.

We have backstage passes,
all-access, baby,

to see Dishwalla at P3.

- I made it happen.
- No, actually, I made it happen.

- What?
- Look, I wanted to tell you sooner,

but I didn't have the time.

I had to move fast.
There's a demon involved.

- A demon?
- Yeah, he'll be in your club tonight.

But, no, their manager, Jeff Carlton,
came to me and booked them himself.

- I know, I cast a spell on him.
- You what?

I sort of cribbed it from one
of the other witches I look after.

I suggested to Carlton
that he get Dishwalla into your club.

Why didn't you just come to us?

Because he knows
I would have been pissed off.

- What are you doing?
- My job.

Your job? What are we,
like, Leo's witches now?

We're supposed to kill a demon
during a sold-out concert?

- Are you nuts?
- Piper.

No. Leo, anywhere else,
but not there, not my place.

Look, the band's manager
made a bargain with Masselin.

- That's the demon?
- Yeah. In exchange

for human sacrifice,
Masselin will make Carlton rich

and powerful by attracting
successful bands to him.

Are you telling me Dishwalla
is hooked up with a demon?

They don't know anything
about the demon.

So these innocents,
what happens to them?

They're devoured by Masselin,
consumed for their souls.

The more souls Masselin collects,
the more successful Carlton becomes.

Now, you can't destroy the demon

without first freeing
those trapped within him.

All this freeing and destroying, is this
in between sets or during the encore?

Look, I know you're upset.

No, no, I skated past upset
just after you came in the door.

- Right now I'm at furious.
- We have to talk.

- You bet your whitelighter ass we do.
- All right, but later. I have to go.

See, now, this is exactly why
you should never date a coworker.

It was a joke.

- Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
- How could he do this?

Well, it sounds like
he didn't have a choice.

And quite frankly,
I don't think we do either.

Well, I have to get to the office
and call this investor.

Barker. I gotta talk to Barker.

- Stick it up there with the bass.
- Okay.

This is Tina Hitchens.

She's been missing since last night,
when she came to this club.

Yo, the address is
on the front seat, P3.

- You got it.
- You're playing P3?

Piper Halliwell's place?

- Yeah, so I don't have a lot of time.
- Well, you've got time for this.

- I answered your question.
- I didn't ask one.

- You asked me if I saw Tina whoever.
- I don't believe I did. Did you?

- What?
- See her.

I didn't see anybody, inspector.

Look again.

Listen, you have any idea
how many girls like that

show up to something like this?

Hundreds of them, thousands,
and they all look the same.

Short skirts, tight tops,
like sexy little peas in a pod.

So, what difference does
it make if one disappears?

- I didn't say that.
- You didn't have to.

Why aren't you out hassling
her boyfriend?

Did that already.
Now I'm hassling you.

I haven't seen her.
What's with the Gestapo routine!

It tends to follow
the acting-like-a-suspect routine.

- Am I under arrest?
- Not yet.

- Melody Jenkins?
- No.

- Brittany Tyler?
- None of them. Never saw them.

They all disappeared from clubs
all around the country,

clubs that your band played in.
That doesn't concern you?

Not in the slightest.
If we're done here, see you around.

Count on it.

- There's Leo's problem.
- It's our problem.

You wanna know what
the real problem is?

Oh, do tell.

- Never mind.
- Thank you.

- So how do we vanquish this creep?
- Oh, let's find out, shall we?

And what was with that attitude?

What attitude?

Leo, it was like he was angry
that I was angry.

I have a right to be angry.
I don't wanna talk about it.

Then don't.

- What?
- Look, Masselin's victims.

Yeah. "Trapped within the demon,
the unfortunates are kept alive,

their souls tortured for the pleasure
he gets from their suffering."

- We gotta get them out of there.
- With what? Demonic ipecac?

Actually, yeah,
that seems to be the idea.

"The demon seeks willing,
trusting souls

delivered by the one
who sealed the pact."

- The manager.
- So we have to get close to Carlton.

Well, I'm already close,
and as far as we know,

I'm a willing, trusting soul,
a sucker.

Someone who falls
for a quick line from a pretty face.

- Will you please stop that?
- You're right. Fine.

Leo is the least of my worries.

Right. We'll worry
about that tomorrow.

- I don't think I can wait that long.
- You're gonna have to,

because tonight we have
some major demon ass-kicking to do.

The cops are asking questions.
And you know what?

They're not gonna catch you. No, sir.
They're gonna catch me.

All right, okay, I'm out.

I'm done with it. No more souls.

The pact, the agreement
is now officially null and void.

You will honour your agreement,
Mr Carlton.

- You will bring me more souls.
- Okay.

More souls.

So, what you're telling me
is that you no longer need

a white knight to rescue you
and your sisters from debt.

- No.
- But we have a deal.

Well, what we had was
an agreement to make a deal,

- and I no longer agree.
- I see.

This wouldn't have anything to do
with a certain

band choosing to play P3 tonight,
would it?

- Word travels fast.
- Yeah, well,

Piper pulled us out of the fire.

Yes, and in doing so, revealed to me
quite a diamond in the rough.

- Meaning what?
- Well, meaning

I understand you're showing me the
door, but I think I rather like this party.

I think your sister's little venture
is on its way to great success,

which is why

I've already gone to your bank and
made an offer to pick up your loan.

- You didn't.
- Did.

Okay, Mr Barker,

- we have a relationship.
- Yes, and you've brought

so many valuable items
into my field of view,

I just have this feeling that your sister's
club is gonna be the best one yet.

Could you put me
on the guest list for tonight?

Me plus one.
I'd like to see what I'm buying.

Okay, I am asking nicely,

for your own sake,
not to go through with this.

Is that a threat, Miss Halliwell?

Be careful, you could be jeopardizing
a very profitable relationship.

Two passes.

I'd like a booth too,
close to the stage.

How is this gonna work?

We are just gonna slip Masselin
a little extra-strength antacid.

And if the Book of Shadows is right,
he should disappear

like some demonic gas bubble,
freeing his victims,

leaving them safe and sound.

Phoebe, we can't even give
our cat a vitamin.

How are we gonna
get this down a demon's throat?

- In this.
- What is that?

- It's a balloon.
- Okay, where is it?

Where is what?

The spoonful of sugar
big enough to hide that thing.

- You're looking at her.
- Excuse me?

Well, the only way to get
to Masselin is through Carlton, right?

So all I have to do
is get close to Carlton,

pretend I'm some choice titbit,
then we get Masselin to swallow this...

Right before he swallows you,
Phoebe. No, it's too dangerous.

Well, unless you have a better idea,
it's our only choice.

You and Prue will back me up.
I'll be fine.

I hate him.

Of course you hate him.
He's a demon.

Wait, we are talking
about the demon, right?

He didn't even have
the decency to ask me first.

He at least could've
discussed it with me.

- Leo.
- I mean, can you believe him?

He acted as if we've never even
had a relationship before,

like it was just business.

Got to put the lid on, honey.

And I saw the future too.
You know, Leo and I get married.

A marriage in the future implies some
sort of relationship in the present.

The question is,
where's the relationship?

Somewhere between confusing
and complicated.

Just talk to him, honey. It'll be okay.

I'd rather just freeze him
and kick him in the...

That better not be him.

- In the shins?
- Not exactly.

- Piper.
- Dan. Hi.

- Could I talk to you for a second?
- Sure, what's up?

Jenny, did you tell her she
could go see Dishwalla tonight?

- No, no, she can't go.
- She said you said it was all right.

Well, I didn't exactly
tell her it wasn't,

but things were happening
kind of fast.

Well, she's in her room right now
picking out clothes.

Oh, God. Okay, I'll go talk to her.

- Hi.
- Hello.

Listen, I was hoping
that we could talk.

- Sure. Leo, this is...
- Dan Gordon.

Wait, you know him?

Are you kidding? He used to play
second base for the Mariners.

He had an all-star season
till he blew his knee sliding into home.

- I still think you were safe.
- So do I.

- I'm Leo.
- Nice meeting you.

No, it's not. You follow baseball?

- Yeah.
- You have time for baseball, but you

don't have time to tell me about
you-know-what before you-know-who

shows up you-know-where?

Listen, if you two need
to talk or something, I can...

No, no, no, we don't need to talk.
Leo stops by occasionally to fix things.

Phoebe can show him around.
Let's go talk to Jenny.

- It was nice meeting you.
- Yeah, you too.

- She's just a little upset.
- Yeah, I don't blame her.

Right. And this is where you say,
"Darryl?" and I say, "Prue?"

And then you say something like,
"What are you doing here?"

What are you talking about?

Andy didn't have time to teach me
all the steps in this dance,

but I'm a quick study.

- I have to go.
- To P3?

As usual, I barely know
what's going on. And I don't like it.

Look, I will explain everything
to you later.

But you never do.
I know it's all about keeping me safe,

and I respect that.

What do you know
about Jeff Carlton?

- I can't.
- This is about my job.

Andy is gone, but I'm not Andy.

And I'm not saying that you have
to tell me about everything.

But whenever you and your sisters
get involved,

the whole playing field
gets a little crazy.

- Yeah, and a lot more dangerous.
- I'm a cop!

- Stop protecting me, Prue.
- Look, you have absolutely no idea...

I'm an imaginative guy.
I have plenty of ideas.

I even had you three working
for the CIA for a while.

But none of that matters.

What matters is that you and I
work out some kind of relationship.

We're gonna need to communicate,
or I'm gonna become very unsociable.

Okay.

- The missing girls and Jeff Carlton.
- We're working on it.

- I figured.
- Look...

...Darryl, just trust us, okay?

We've got this one for right now.

- Sure.
- I have to go.

Be careful.

Jenny, the state
could shut me down.

How are they gonna find out?
Are you gonna tell them?

Because I'm not gonna tell them.
You like the red or the denim?

- Jenny.
- Yeah, let's hear from Uncle Dan,

who never in his life
faked an ID or snuck into a bar,

who never did anything wrong, ever.

- We're talking about you.
- No, we're talking about Piper.

- She said I could go see the show.
- I never said that.

Jenny, I'm sorry,
but I can't let you in the club.

Your mom and dad,
they put me in charge.

Right, everybody's in charge,
but not me, not ever. Why is that?

I'm sorry, she's just feeling,
you know, a little...

Betrayed. It's okay.
I know the feeling.

You didn't leave any passes
for that investment guy, did you?

No way.

The bouncer has his orders.
Chris Barker is not allowed.

The last thing we need is for Piper
to find out she's gonna lose her club.

If the bank accepts his offer...

One hellish complication at a time.

- Okay, do you have the poison pill?
- Armed and dangerous.

Good, because
here comes demon boy.

Positions.

- Mr Carlton.
- Nice crowd. Is the band here?

Yep, they came in the back way.

They're right over there.
Everything's ready.

Better be. I don't want any problems.

- That's too bad.
- Talking to yourself again, I see.

What are you doing here?

Watching over things.
It's what I do, remember?

I remember when it didn't used
to be a job.

Look, this isn't easy
for me either, Piper, you know?

Leo, I really can't talk
about this right now. Excuse me.

- Okay, Pheebs, go get him.
- Keep an eye on me.

You're kind of hard
to miss in that outfit.

When you're done with the lights,
let's do the sound check, okay?

Excuse me.

- Aren't you Jeff Carlton?
- Yes.

Yeah, I recognized you from that MTV
top-ten-videos thing last month.

Somebody actually saw that?

- Well, I'm flattered.
- Hey, it was riveting.

I taped that almost two months ago.

I didn't even know
there was such a thing

as a music manager, let alone what
they did, until you came on the scene.

I mean, who knew?

I'm now taking a class in music
management at the Learning Annex.

- You're my inspiration.
- Really?

Cross my heart.
Hey, do you have any pointers?

I would do just about anything
to get the inside scoop.

Anything, huh?

- Wanna meet the band?
- Yeah!

This way.

Where is he taking her?

In the back.

All right, let's go.

- Hey, what's the rush?
- No time to waste.

- Are you all right?
- Did you get him?

- No. I think we need a bigger balloon.
- What?

Okay, we're gonna have
to regroup. Let's go.

He's huge and ugly, and I really think
we need a bigger balloon.

- Maybe we just came in too soon.
- Maybe he saw the potion.

Well, in any case,
the spook spooked.

And took the trapped souls with him,
the ones that we have to save.

We don't know for sure
if the demon is gone.

But if he is still here,
then he's gonna feed again,

and Carlton feeds him.
Do you still have the poison pill?

Yes, but I don't think
it's gonna be enough.

Phoebe, stop. All right, we need
to cover the exits, look for Carlton.

If we see him grab anybody,

Piper, freeze the room,
and we'll get into positions.

I wish we could just stuff his head
in a toilet

- and make him cough up the demon.
- Oh, honey, you still upset with Leo?

- I'm talking about Carlton.
- I can't keep up.

You brought witches to destroy me.

What? What are you talking about?
No, I didn't. I swear!

To whom do you swear?

To you, just you.
I didn't know about the witches.

Your most recent selection,
she holds the key

to my destruction. Take it from her.

But why? They know about you.
They know about me!

Take it from her,
and bring the witches to me.

All right, but how am
I gonna get them back here?

I mean, they're gonna be
a little suspicious.

Tempt them with an innocent soul.

Excuse me. Oh, I'm sorry.

Pardon me.

Excuse me.

Sorry.

Look, I'm sorry,
but if you don't have a ticket,

and your name isn't on the guest list,
I can't let you in.

Try looking under G for Grant.

Oh, here you are, Mr Grant.

Thank you so much.

Ladies and gentlemen,
put your hands together for Dishwalla!

- I wish you'd quit doing that.
- What's happening?

We're on it, Leo. We're just waiting
for Carlton to do his thing.

- What, you think I like this?
- Leo.

You think I like not being with you?

Can we cut the crap? I know
what you have to do. I always have.

The question is, what do you want?
What do you wanna do?

With me, with us?
Do you ever think about that?

- All the time.
- You ever wanna discuss it with me?

Yes, it's just the timing
always seems...

Seems to suck. Okay, hold that
thought. Don't let go, just hold it.

Morris is here.

Oh, boy.

What are you looking at?
He's over there.

Yeah, okay, come, come.

See that honey by the stage
in the silver thing?

- Yeah.
- She's got something in her purse.

- Something illegal?
- Extremely. Get it out of here.

You got it. Let's go.

Hey, what are you doing?

- Weapons check.
- There is nothing in there.

- What the hell is that?
- That is a $75 dry cleaning bill.

Hey, there, Jenny?
Hello. I remember you.

You're a friend of Piper Halliwell's,
right?

And Phoebe and Prue.
We're like sisters.

Listen, would you like
to meet the band?

Are you serious?
Man, I'd do anything to meet them!

Follow me.

Hello, Prue.

- Mr Barker.
- Where's Phoebe?

- Let me guess. Piper Halliwell, right?
- Yeah. Who are you? Who's he?

The name's Chris Barker.

I'm gonna be taking over everything
from here on out.

- Wait, what?
- Piper, we gotta talk.

Not now.

I'd be willing to discuss
you staying on, however,

in a diminished capacity, of course.

- Jenny's here with Carlton.
- What?

- Jenny's here?
- And I've lost the potion.

- Piper, it's important.
- Yeah, wait in line, pal.

Hey, why don't you step to the back.

Okay, everybody hold it.

Look.

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God!

Freeze them again,
they're through the door!

Hey!

Hello?

- Hold it. Stop.
- Jenny's in there.

Yeah, but we can't kill Masselin
without the potion.

But we can't just stand here.
She's gonna die.

- Help us.
- He'll kill me.

He'll burn the flesh
off my bones for eternity.

Listen up, skid mark,
you tell us how to save Jenny

and get Elvis out of the building,

or spending eternity in hell
will be the least of your worries.

- There's nothing you can do.
- We can break the pact

and free you from Masselin.

Believe me, if I could help you,
I would.

If you go in there, he's gonna swallow
you whole. And you'll still be alive.

That's not a bad idea.

- What?
- Where's the demon?

Through that door.

I got a plan. We get eaten.

I'm sorry, we get what?

And once we're inside, Prue, you
use your power to blow him up.

From the inside?

Who's to say that we don't lose
our powers once we get in there?

Maybe that's exactly what he wants.

Well, we don't really have a choice,
Phoebe. The poison pill is gone.

Is it?

Phoebe, what are you...?

It's time to join your friend, witches.

Your friend.

What is going on back here?

Jenny.

Come on, we gotta get her home.

Little dizzy.

Prue, what's going on here?

- Someone wanna clue me in?
- You're arresting a kidnapper.

And rescuing his victims.
Good job.

Trust me, that's all you wanna know.

I guess that's all I need to know.

Mr Barker,

here's what you need to know.

This place is ours, the ups, the downs,
the good, and especially the bad.

It's all ours.
Now, if you ever bother us again,

you won't have to ask
if I'm threatening you. Are we clear?

- Yeah.
- Good.

Paying bills?

Every last one,
for this month at least.

Thanks to Leo.

Well, technically, if it wasn't for him,

you would have never landed
Dishwalla.

I suppose. And technically,
if we hadn't vanquished a demon,

your client Chris Barker wouldn't have
abandoned his hostile takeover.

The bank called
and told me Mr Barker

didn't have the stomach
for gruesome stage theatrics.

- He's withdrawing his offer.
- I'm sorry.

He was just supposed to help.
We didn't expect a double-cross.

It's okay.

I mean, I understand why you
didn't wanna hurt my feelings,

but you could've told me the truth.

- I said I was sorry.
- We're sorry.

It's just dawning on me
that personal relationships

and business
just don't mix well at all.

I got it.

Why were you trying
to blame it all on me?

- Hi.
- Hi.

Thanks for everything.

Just doing my job.
Do you wanna come in, sit down?

I'd love to.

But you can't.

We got Jenny home safe.
Dan doesn't know she was at the club.

But are you sure
she won't remember anything?

I took care of it
with a little hocus-pocus.

So you erase memories now?

No, I make pain go away...

...when I can.
Sometimes I can't,

no matter how hard I try.

- And Masselin's other victims?
- They'll be fine.

- No memory of Masselin or Carlton.
- Good.

Piper, did you mean what you said?

- When?
- A couple of months ago,

when I almost died and you
saved my life, I left, and you said

that you love me.

I thought you were gone.

Well, sometimes I linger.

Did you mean it?

Yeah, I meant it.

- You linger?
- What about now?

I still mean it.

- But...?
- But we can't keep doing this.

I can't keep doing this.
I feel like all I do

is wait around for you to show up.
And then when you do, it's just not

quite right.

Well, I'm just... I'm doing what
I thought you wanted me to do, Piper.

You're the one who didn't want me
to clip my wings.

And you shouldn't, not for me, but
that doesn't make it any easier for us.

What are we gonna do?

I don't know, Leo.

Go. It's okay. I understand.

I'll see you.