Charmed (1998–2006): Season 1, Episode 1 - Something Wicca This Way Comes - full transcript

Here, baby. Come on, baby.

Good girl.

Ancient one of the earth so deep

Master of moon and sun

I shield you in my Wiccan way

Here in my circle round

Asking you protect this space

And offer your sun- force down

What are you doing here?

- Prue?
- In here, working on the chandelier.

- Sorry I'm late.
- What else is new?



Piper, I would have been here
to meet the electrician myself,

but I can't leave the museum until 6.
I haven't even had time to change.

I just, I didn't realise how long I was
in Chinatown. Did Jeremy call?

No, but he had some roses
and a package delivered.

What were you doing in Chinatown?
I thought you had an interview?

I did, but I went to Young Lee Market
after my interview

to get the ingredients for my
audition recipe tomorrow.

So that Wolfgang Puck knockoff
didn't hire you today?

No, but this just may get me the job.

Jeremy sent you port?

It's the ultimate ingredient
for my recipe.

Nice boyfriend.

Oh, my God. I don't believe it.

Tell me that's not
our old spirit board.



I found it in the basement when I
was looking for the circuit tester.

"To my three beautiful girls.

May this give you the light
to find the shadows.

The power of three will set you free.
Love, Mom."

We never did figure out
what this inscription meant.

Send it to Phoebe. That girl is so in the
dark, maybe a little bit of light will help.

You're always so hard on her.

Piper, the girl has no vision.
No sense of the future.

I really think
Phoebe's coming around.

As long as she doesn't come
around here, I guess it's good news.

Okay.

Okay, okay.
We have three units on it now.

- Well, it's about time.
- I got here as soon as I heard.

Another dead female, right?
Mid- To late 20s?

I've been paging you for over an hour,
Trudeau. Where have you been?

Oakland, checking out a lead.

What lead?

- One that didn't go anywhere.
- You're avoiding my question.

Because you don't want to know
I went to an occult shop.

You hate me, don't you?
You wanna see me suffer.

I want to solve these murders.

- Someone's after witches.
- Women.

That woman up there, I'll bet
she was killed with an athame.

Wrong. Double-edged steel knife.

Right. That's an athame.

It's a ceremonial tool.
Witches use them to direct energy.

That woman didn't direct jack.

She was stabbed. Plain and simple.

Was she found near an altar?

Yes.

Were there carvings on that altar?

Just do me a favour.

Don't ever follow a lead
without checking with me first.

You want to go to occult shops?

Just get to work, okay?

Inspector Trudeau.

Jeremy Burns,
San Francisco Chronicle.

- You care to comment?
- A woman was stabbed.

Plain and simple.

That's the third one in three weeks.

I don't get it.
I have checked everything.

There's no reason why the chandelier
should not be working.

We've been talking about what
to do with that spare room.

I think you're right.
We do need a roommate.

Well, we could rent out
the room at a reduced rate

in exchange for help
around the house.

Phoebe's good with a wrench.

Phoebe lives in New York.

Not anymore.

What?

She left New York.
She's moving back in with us.

You've got to be kidding.

Well, I could hardly say no.

It's her house too.
It was willed to all of us.

Yeah, months ago and we haven't
seen or spoken to her since!

- Well, you haven't spoken to her.
- No, I haven't.

Maybe you've forgotten
why I'm so mad.

No, of course not,
but she had nowhere else to go.

She lost her job. She's in debt.

And this is news?

How long have you known
about this?

A couple of days.

Maybe a week. Or two.

Thanks for sharing.
When does she arrive?

Surprise!

I found the hide-a-key.

Phoebe, welcome home.

- Hello, Piper.
- It's so good to see you.

- Isn't it, Prue?
- I'm speechless.

- Oops. I forgot about the cab.
- I'll get it.

Piper, that's my purse!

Thanks. I'll pay it back.

Is that all that you brought?

That's all that I own.
That and a bike.

Look, I know that you don't
want me here.

We're not selling Gram's house.

Is that why you think I came back?

The only reason Piper and I gave up
our apartment and moved back

was because this house has been
in our family for generations.

No history lesson needed,
I grew up here too.

So can we talk about what's
really bothering you?

No, I'm still furious with you.

So you'd rather have a tense reunion

filled with boring chitchat
and unimportant small talk?

No, but otherwise we won't
have anything to talk about.

- I never touched Roger.
- Whoa.

I know you think otherwise because
that's what that Armani-wearing,

chardonnay-slugging
trust-funder told you, but...

Hey!

I have a great idea! Why don't I
make a fabulous reunion dinner?

I'm not hungry.

I ate on the bus.

Okay, we'll try the group hug later.

I'm at an apartment building
on the corner of 8th and Franklin

where a murder occurred
earlier this evening.

The victim, believed to be a nurse
at County General,

was reportedly stabbed to death
in her apartment.

- It's me.
- Come on in.

- Oh, thank God. I am starving!
- I figured.

Hey, that's my boyfriend, Jeremy!

- What happened?
- Oh, some woman got whacked.

"Whacked"? Phoebe, you've been
in New York way too long.

Yeah. I should have stayed.

Why didn't you tell Prue
I was coming back?

And risk her changing the locks?

Besides, you should have been
the one to tell her, not me.

Good point, Chicken Little.

It's just so hard for me to talk to her.
She's always been more like a mother.

That's not her fault.
She practically had to sacrifice

- her own childhood to raise us.
- Her own childhood to raise us.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, we're lucky she
was so responsible.

You and I had it easy.
All we had to do was be there.

Yeah, well, I don't need a mom
anymore, you know, I need a sister.

Hey.

This was always the coldest room
in the house.

Thanks.

The same tattoo was on
the other two victims.

So the murderer is killing cultists.

No, the murderer is on a witch-hunt.

Oh, yeah, and he's 500 years old
and he lives in Salem.

Look around, Trudeau.
Pentagrams, altars, offerings.

All tools for a freak fest.

They call them sabbats,
and this was hardly a freak fest.

She was a solitary practitioner.
She practised her craft alone.

Let me ask you something.
Do you believe in UFOs?

- Hell, no.
- Neither do I.

But do you believe there are people
out there who do believe in UFOs?

Yes, but I think they're crazy.

Then why can't you believe there are
people who believe they are witches?

Look, all I know is that if you don't
stop talking about witches,

I'm gonna start questioning you.

I'd stay away from that cat, Trudeau.

It's been clawing the crap
out of everybody.

See you at the car.

I'm glad to hear you and Jeremy
are still together.

Where did you meet him anyway?

We met at the hospital cafeteria
the day Grams was admitted.

He was covering a story
and I was bawling over a bagel.

So he handed me a napkin.

- How romantic.
- As a matter of fact, it was.

The napkin had his
phone number on it.

- Stop pushing the pointer.
- I'm not touching it.

You used to always
push the pointer.

More popcorn?

Hey, I forgot your question.

I asked if Prue would have sex with
someone other than herself this year.

That's disgusting!

Please say yes.

Piper.

- Piper, get in here!
- What?

- What did you guys do now?
- Me? I didn't do anything.

The pointer on the spirit board.
It moved on its own.

I'm serious. It spelled A-T.

- Well, did you push it?
- No!

You always used to push the pointer.

My fingers were
barely touching it. Look.

It did it again! It moved!

- It's still on the letter T.
- I swear, it moved.

There! Look!

- You saw that, right?
- I think so, yeah.

I told you I wasn't touching it.

Prue, can you come in here a sec?

- Now what?
- I think it's trying to tell us something.

Attic.

Don't you think you're overreacting?
We are perfectly safe here.

Don't say that. In horror movies, the
person who says that is the next to die.

It's pouring rain. There's a psycho's on
the loose. Jeremy's not even home.

So, I'll... I'll wait in the cab till
he gets home from work.

- That'll be cheap.
- Prue, I saw that pointer move.

No, look, what you saw was
Phoebe's fingers pushing the pointer.

There's nothing in that attic.
She's playing a joke on us.

We don't know that.
We've lived here for months now

and we've never been able
to get that attic door open.

- Great, now the phone doesn't work.
- Yeah, the power's out.

- Just go with me to the basement.
- What?

I need you to hold the flashlight.

Phoebe will go with you
to the basement.

- No, I'm going to the attic.
- No, you're not. We already agreed.

I am not waiting for some handyman
to check out the attic

and I'm certainly not waiting until
tomorrow. I'm going now.

Prue, wait!

"Book of Shadows.

Hear now the words of the witches

The secrets we hid in the night

The oldest of gods are invoked here

The great work of magic is sought

In this night and in this hour,

I call upon the ancient power

Bring your powers to we sisters three

We want the power

Give us the power"

What are you doing?

Reading an incantation.

It was in this Book of Shadows.

- I found it in that trunk.
- Let me see that.

- How did you get in here?
- The door opened.

Wait a minute.

An incantation?
What kind of incantation?

It said something about there
being three essentials of magic:

Timing, feeling
and the phases of the moon.

If we were ever gonna do this,

now, midnight on a full moon,
is the most powerful time.

"This"? Do what, "this"?

Receive our powers.

What powers? Wait, our powers?
You included me in this?

No, she included all of us.

"Bring your powers to we sisters three"

- It's a book of witchcraft.
- Let me see that.

Spirit boards. Books of witchcraft.

It figures all this freaky stuff
started when you arrived.

I wasn't the one that
found the spirit board.

It wasn't my fingers sliding
around on the pointer.

It doesn't matter, because
nothing happened, right, Phoebe?

When you did the incantation?

Well, my head spun around
and I vomited split pea soup.

How should I know?

Well, everything looks the same.

- You're right.
- Yep, the house still needs work.

And everything feels the same,
so nothing's changed, right?

You're up early.

I never went to sleep.

Don't tell me you put on
a black conical hat

and spent the night flying around
the neighbourhood on a broomstick?

The only broom I've ever had was
kept in a closet beside a mop.

So what were you doing?

Reading. Is Prue around?

She went to work early.
Reading aloud?

No.

But according to
the Book of Shadows,

one of our ancestors was a witch
named Melinda Warren.

And we have a cousin who's a drunk,
and aunt who's manic,

and a father who's invisible.

I'm serious. She practised powers.
Three powers.

She could move objects with her mind,
see the future, and stop time.

Before Melinda was burned
at the stake,

she vowed that each generation
of Warren witches

would become
stronger and stronger,

culminating in the arrival
of three sisters.

These sisters would be the most
powerful witches the world has known.

They're good witches
and I think we're those sisters.

Look, I know what happened last
night was weird and unexplainable,

but we are not witches,
and we do not have special powers.

Besides, Grams wasn't a witch and
as far as we know, neither was Mom.

So take that, Nancy Drew.

We're the protectors of the innocent.

We're known as the Charmed Ones!

There's been a change of plans.

A change of plans?
Regarding the Beals exhibition?

The extra money that you helped raise
through private donations

has sparked significant
corporate interest.

The Beals artefacts will now become
part of our permanent collection.

Well, that's terrific.

Which is why the board wants
someone a little more qualified

to handle the collection
from now on.

You look surprised.

I don't know why, I'm furious.

Not only have I been on this project
since its inception,

but I'm the curator who secured
the entire exhibition.

You're the person more qualified,
aren't you?

I could hardly say no to the entire
board of directors, could I?

But I know you'll be happy for me.

After all, what's good for me
is definitely good for you.

- Right, Miss Halliwell?
- "Miss Halliwell"?

Since when did we stop being
on a first-name basis?

When we stopped sleeping together?

Or when I returned your
engagement ring, Roger?

I didn't realise the two
were mutually exclusive.

Although I certainly enjoyed
one more than the other.

Bastard.

Prue, wait.

I feel like I should say something,
if only to avoid a lawsuit.

Your time is up.

Let's see.

Roast pork with gratin,
Florence fennel

and penne with a port giblet sauce.

- Chef Moore?
- What?

The port.

Yes. Without it, the sauce is nothing
more than a salty marinara.

A recipe from a woman's magazine.

I didn't have time for...

But...

Chef Moore?

Chef Moore?

Hello?

Hello?

That is very good.

C'est magnifique.

It was my idea to spark corporate
interest from private donations.

Besides, not only have I been
with this project since its inception,

but we both know who really
secured the entire exhibit.

- Prue.
- I quit.

I'm going to have to call you back.

Think about this, Prue.

Lousy job, lousy pay, lousy boss.
What's to think about?

Your future. Because, believe me,
if you walk out with no notice,

- you can kiss any references...
- Don't threaten me, Roger.

You know me. Had to try.

You're hurt. You're angry.

Your pride is wounded.
I understand all that.

That's why you can't see
that I'm doing you a favour.

- Excuse me?
- I had to take the exhibit away.

If I hadn't, the board would've come in
and put a total stranger in my place.

Think about it, Prue.

I'm here for you, not some stranger.

You should be thanking me,
not leaving me.

Well, I'm not worried.

I'm certain your intellect will make
quick work of the 75 computer discs

and the thousands of pages of
research I've left in my office.

- You're gonna regret this.
- I don't think so.

I thought breaking up with you
was the best thing I had ever done,

but this definitely tops that.

Goodbye, Roger.

I hope there are no office supplies
in your purse!

What the hell was that?

Phoebe, answer the phone.

Answer the phone.

Oh, God, Jeremy, you scared me.

I can see. I'm sorry.

- You okay?
- Yeah.

Now I am. I really am.
What are you doing here?

I wanted to be the first one to
congratulate you on your new job.

You're always surprising me.
How did you know?

You prepared your specialty.

And anyone who's ever sampled your
work can see how talented you are.

I get so turned on when
you talk about food.

Hot dogs.

Hamburgers. Pizza.

No, wait!

Hi, I'm looking for my sister,
Phoebe Halliwell.

One second, please.
What's the name again?

Inspector Andrew Trudeau, Homicide.

Dr Gordon's expecting me.

Andy?

Prue? I don't believe it.

- How are you?
- I'm good. How are you?

I'm fine. I just can't believe
I'm running into you.

Yeah. I'm picking up Phoebe.
She had some sort of an accident.

- Is she gonna be okay?
- Oh, yeah. She'll be fine.

What are you doing here?

Murder investigation.

Your sister's still in X-ray,
so it'll be another 15 minutes.

Dr Gordon's office is to the left
and down the hall.

He's with a patient right now,
but you're free to wait.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

Well...

It's good seeing you, Prue.

Yeah, you, too, Andy.
Take care.

You know, Phoebe's busy
and Dr Gordon's busy.

Can I buy you a bad cup of coffee
while we wait?

Sure.

So you're an inspector now?

What can I say? In any other city,
I'd be called a "detective."

"Inspector" is classier.

I'm liking it better already.

Your dad must be so proud.

Third generation,
you bet he's happy.

How about you?
You taking the world by storm?

Well, I'm living
back at Gram's house

and as of an hour ago,
I'm looking for work.

- I heard you moved to Portland.
- I'm back.

You still seeing Roger?

- How did you know about him?
- I know people.

You checked up on me?

I wouldn't call it that.

What would you call it?

Inquiring minds want to know.

- You checked up on me.
- What can I say? I'm a detective.

Miss Halliwell, please meet
your sister at the nurse's station.

The Chosen Ones? Charmed Ones?
Phoebe, this is insane.

Are you telling me that nothing
strange happened to you today?

You didn't freeze time
or move anything?

Roger took an exhibit away from me.

All right, look, Phoebe, I know that you
think that you can see the future,

- which is pretty ironic...
- Since you don't think I have one?

That my vision of life is cloudy
compared to your perfect hell?

Even if you don't want to believe me,
just once, can't you trust me?

Phoebe, I do not have
special powers.

Now, where is the cream?

Really? That looks
pretty special to me.

Oh, my God.
So I can move things with my mind?

With how much you hold inside,
you should be a lethal weapon by now.

- I don't believe it.
- This means Piper can freeze time.

- Are you okay?
- No, I'm not okay.

- You've turned me into a witch.
- You were born one, we all were.

And I think we better start
learning to deal with that.

When I was looking through
the Book of Shadows

I saw these carvings. They looked like
something out of a Bosch painting.

All these terrifying images
of three women

battling different incarnations of evil.

Evil fighting evil, that's a twist.

Actually, a witch can be
either good or evil.

A good witch follows a Wiccan Rede:
"An it harm none, do what ye will."

A bad witch, or a warlock,
has but one goal,

to kill good witches
and obtain their powers.

Unfortunately, they look
like regular people.

They could be anyone, anywhere.

And this has what
to do with us?

Well, in the first woodcarving
they were in a slumber,

but in the second one, they were
battling some kind of warlock.

I think as long as we were in the dark
about our powers, we were safe.

Not anymore.

Has anything weird or unexplainable
ever happened to you?

Sure. It's called luck or fate.

Some call it miracles.

Why? What happened?

Forget it. Even if I could tell you,
you'd swear I was crazy.

Open your fortune cookie.

Okay.

"Soon you will be on top."

It doesn't say that.

- Yes, it does.
- Let me see.

Is that a bad thing?

"Of the world.
Soon you will be on top of the world."

- Can you make a left on 7th?
- You got it.

Seventh? I thought we were
going to your place.

We are, but you reminded me
of something.

I want to show you
the old Bowing Building.

The view of the Bay Bridge?

It's amazing.

- I'll be right back with your prescription.
- Take your time.

Excuse me, where do you
keep the aspirin?

- Aisle three.
- Thank you.

Chamomile tea works great
for headaches.

Not for this one, it won't.

You know, I'm not afraid
of our powers.

I mean, everyone inherits something
from their family, right?

Yeah, money, antiques,
a strong disposition.

That's what normal people inherit.

Who wants to be normal
when we can be special?

I want to be normal.
I want my life to be...

You know, isn't this aisle three?

Well, we can't change what happened.
We can't undo our destiny.

- Do you see any aspirin?
- I see chamomile tea.

Look, I have just found out
that I'm a witch,

that my sisters are witches,

and that we have powers that will
apparently unleash all forms of evil.

Evil that is going to
come looking for us.

So, excuse me, Phoebe,

but I am not exactly in a
homeopathic mood right now.

Then move your headache
out of your mind.

You move things when you're upset.

This is ridiculous. I thought that you
landed on your arm, not your head.

- You don't believe me?
- Of course I don't believe you!

Roger.

Now, let's talk about Dad
and see what happens.

- He's dead, Phoebe.
- No, he's moved from New York,

but he's very much alive.

He isn't to me.

He died the day he left Mom.

What are you talking about? He's
always been a button-pusher for you!

You're mad he's alive,
you're mad I tried to find him,

and you're mad I came back.

Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad.

- Feel better?
- Lots.

The Book of Shadows said that
our powers would grow.

Grow to what?

Well, here we are.

I don't care how amazing
the view is, I'm not going in.

Come on, I have a surprise inside.

You are gonna love this.

I bet you tell Phoebe and Prue
the moment you see them.

I never mentioned
Phoebe came home.

- Oops.
- What is that?

It's your surprise.

Jeremy, stop it.
You're scaring me.

- Damn it, I'm serious!
- So am I!

See, I've waited six months for this.

Ever since Grams
went into the hospital.

See, I've known for quite some time
that the moment the old witch croaked

that all your powers,
they'd be released.

Powers that would
reveal themselves

as soon as the three of you
got together again.

All that was needed was
for Phoebe to return.

It's you, isn't it?
You killed all those women.

Not women, witches.

Why?

It was the only way
to get their powers.

And now I want yours.

Okay, think, stay calm.

Think, think, think.
Gotta get out of here.

Okay, okay.

Prue, it's Roger.

I've decided to let you
come back to work.

Seriously, let's talk.

Well, Piper's definitely not home,
unless she's turned into a cat.

- How'd the cat get in?
- I don't know.

Someone left a window open.

- Did Piper leave a message?
- She's probably out with Jeremy.

- Roger called.
- Yeah, I heard.

- Prue!
- In here.

- Piper?
- My God. What is it? What's wrong?

Lock the doors! Check the windows!
We don't have time!

Phoebe, in the Book, did it say
how to get rid of a...

- Warlock?
- Oh, my God.

I'll get you, you bitch.

- I'm calling the cops.
- And tell them that we're witches?

That some freak with powers beyond
comprehension is trying to kill us?

Even if the cops did come, they'd be
no match for Jeremy and we'd be next.

I've found the answer.
It's our only hope. Come on!

Okay, we've placed the nine candles

anointed with the oils
and spices in a circle.

Wait, I only count eight.

- You forgot this one.
- A birthday candle?

I guess Grams was a little low
on witch supplies.

All right, next, we need the poppet.

- Got it.
- I think we're set.

We're ready to cast the spell.

Okay, first, I'll make it stronger.

Your love will wither and depart
From my life and my heart

Let me be, Jeremy
And go away forever

- Okay, the spell is complete.
- Let's hope it works.

Wait, it didn't work.

- What?
- The spell. It didn't work.

- How do you know?
- When I touched the pot, I had a flash.

- I saw Jeremy.
- You touched the pot and saw him?

He's on his way here.

Hello, ladies.

Piper, Phoebe...

...get out of here. Now!

Cool parlour trick, bitch.

Yeah, you were always the tough one,
weren't you, Prue?

Phoebe, you're right.
Our powers, they're growing.

Put as many things against
the door as you can!

You can't keep me out, Prue.
My powers are stronger than yours.

- Okay.
- Yeah, look out.

You don't think a chair will stop me.

You don't think a dresser
can stop me.

Have you witches figured it out?

Nothing, nothing can keep me away.

What do we do?
We're trapped!

Come on, we'll face him together!
Remember the spirit board?

The inscription on the back!

The power of three will set us free

Come on, we've got to stay together.

The power of three will set us free

The power of three will set us free

The power of three will set us free

The power of three will set us free

The power of three will set us free

I'm not the only one!

I'm one of millions.

In places you can't even imagine,
in forms you would never believe.

We are hell on this earth!

You'll never be safe
and you'll never be free!

The power of three.

Good morning.

Hey.

This is a surprise.

I've been feeling really guilty
about that bad cup of coffee.

I just wanna make it up to you.

So you brought me
a good cup of coffee?

Oh, this? No, this is mine.

I just wanted to ask you
out to dinner.

Unless, of course, you're afraid.

Afraid of what?

Oh, you know.
Having too good a time,

stirring up old memories,
rekindling the old flame.

Good point. Better not.

Okay.

Friday night, 8:00?

You hesitated.

Yeah, but it's not what you think.

It's just that my life has gotten
a bit complicated.

- Can I call you?
- Sure.

Take care, Prue.

Bye, Andy.

- That was Andy.
- I told you I heard a man's voice.

What did he want?

He asked me out.

And you said?

Well, I started to say yes
and then I stopped.

I wondered if I could date.
I mean, do witches date?

Not only do they date,
but they usually get the best guys.

You two will not be laughing
when this happens to you.

Believe me, everything
will be different now.

Well, at least our lives
won't be boring.

But they'll never be the same.

And this is a bad thing?

No, but it could be a big problem.

Prue's right.
What are we gonna do?

What can't we do?

We're going to be careful.
We're going to be wise.

And we're gonna stick together.

This should be interesting.