Charlie's Angels (1976–1981): Season 5, Episode 11 - Chorus Line Angels - full transcript

When a group who's trying to put together a Vegas show is besieged by the disappearance of their choreographer and lead star. One of the investors turns to Charlie for help. So Kelly is tapped by the director to replace the star without seeing her dance which doesn't make the new choreographer happy because Kelly doesn't have any experience.


Once upon a time, there
were three beautiful girls.

Two of them graduated
from the police academy.

The other graduated from
a top school for models.

And they each reaped the rewards

of their exciting careers.

But I took them away from all
that and now they work for me.

My name is Charlie.

I said, again.

And one.

Fifteen past midnight
Lying on your back

♪ Staring at the ceiling

♪ At 6 you're watching
Hoping dawn will crack

♪ Hard lost feeling

♪ That fella's got
you On a sleepless jag

♪ Might as well get up
And do the sleepless rag

/> Here's how you do it

/> Put on the coffee
Give the girls a call

♪ We'll come cracking

> They'll tell you

♪ He ain't worth it at all

♪ Send him packing

♪ But if they can't Convince you

♪ 'Cause suffering's Your bag

♪ Then you better learn
To do the sleepless rag

/> Here's how you do it

♪ There's nothing to it

♪ Come on and do it

♪ Get up, just do it

♪ Fifteen past midnight
Lying on your back

♪ Staring at the ceiling

♪ At 6 you're watching
Hoping dawn will crack

♪ Hard lost feeling

♪ That fella's got
you On a sleepless jag

♪ Might as well get up
And do the sleepless rag

/> Here's how you do it

/> Put on the coffee
Give the girls a call

♪ We'll come cracking

♪ They'll tell you
He ain't worth it at all

♪ Send him packing

♪ But if they can't Convince you

♪ 'Cause suffering's
Your bag then

LI they can't Convince you

♪ 'Cause suffering's Your bag

♪ You better learn
to do The sleepless

♪ You better learn
to do The sleepless

( ♪ You better learn
to do The sleepless )

Rag

Well, I'd like to tell you
all how good that was.

I'd like to,

but I'd be lying.

Listen, I did this number
in Reno and in Vegas

and it always worked.

Well, it doesn't work now.

Well, if it doesn't,

it's because of these
klutzes behind me.

Ladies.

I hardly think all this rancor

is gonna help get
this show ready.

Darian, you'll get
your show ready

when you start surrounding me

with some people that
know what they're doing.

I mean, this dummy over
here keeps watching her feet

just like an amateur.

Listen, I don't
need this from you.

I'll handle the lady, Jessica.

Oh, and fancy Nancy is
messing up half the steps.

I just don't know
all the moves yet.

You're never gonna
know the moves.

I noticed you messed up on
a couple of moves yourself,

smart mouth.

Well, if I did,

it's because of your
dumb choreography.

Who the devil ever told you

you were a choreographer anyway?

Because I'm here to
tell you that you're not.

Renee, you're out of line.

No, Darian.

They're out of
line, all of them.

Now, I am a pro and I
expect to work with pros.

Look, why don't you just get
your act together and them.

And then when you're ready,

you can call me
to do this again.

All right, let's
call it a night.

We'll get a fresh
start in the morning.

Uh, don't you worry
now, Mrs. Traina.

This is all par for the course

when you're putting
a show together.

Ah! You scared me for a minute.

CHARLIE: Now, Mrs.
Traina, let me get this straight.

You've put up the money ...for
Darian Mason's production?

Yes, over $150,000.

You said this is a Vegas show?

That's right.

Thank you.

Well, aren't Vegas shows
usually put together in Vegas?

As a rule, yes.

But Darian Mason feels

that if we put a show
together on speculation,

then audition it, we can
get a much better deal.

So that's the deadline
you were talking about,

an audition for
the Vegas people?

Yes, in four days.

And now we've suffered
our second major setback.

Your second?
What was your first?

Our choreographer.

A week ago, she
also disappeared.

Did you contact the police?

Yes.

Unfortunately,

they haven't been able
to come up with anything.

Darian grabbed an
aspiring choreographer

from the chorus,
put her in charge.

Mrs. Traina, since
you've come to us,

I assume that you feel

the disappearance
of Renee last night

and the choreographer
are somehow related.

I'm not sure what I feel.

At the prospect
of losing $150,000,

my thinking is getting
a little muddled.

So you believe somebody
is deliberately trying

to destroy this production?

Well, it's a
possibility, isn't it?

What does Darian Mason think?

Well, naturally,
he's quite shaken up,

but he didn't want
me to hire a detective.

He feels that it would
demoralize the cast

if they thought there was
any real imminent danger,

as he put it.

He's afraid they'd
all panic and run.

Well, how did he explain the
two disappearances to the cast?

He told the cast they just quit.

So we'll have to investigate

without Darian
Mason's knowledge.

Yes.

Well, that's gonna make
our establishing of a cover

a little more difficult.

Angels, I'm afraid you're
going to have to pull out

your dancing shoes.

Oh. Charlie, my dancing
shoes are very, very dusty.

Well, that's all right.
I'll dust them off for you.

Really? Yeah.

As your agent-manager,
it's the least I can do.

Clever. But what about
your dancing shoes?

Oh, no. A little
ballroom, a little disco,

I can handle that.

Chorus line, no thanks.
I'll think of something else.

Can you arrange an
audition for Kelly, Mrs. Traina?

I think so.

With one girl gone, maybe dead,

well, somebody will
have to take her place.

Well, I wished you'd phrase
that another way, Mrs. Traina.

A five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

One, two.

All right, got that?

Okay.

Okay, try that with me.

A five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

One, two. Going up.

Six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight. Okay?

All right, add those
two sections together.

A five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

You better do some
fancy promoting.

I think this girl is in
a little bit better form

than I am.

Attitude. Blind
them with attitude.

The flick kick.

Okay.

Right? Okay, but take
it from the top. Okay.

A five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

If you're gonna do that,
could you try to do it in tempo?

What?

If you're gonna
rattle those pages,

would you just do it in tempo?

Oh, uh, I don't know how to...

You don't what?

Uh, know how to do it in tempo.

Then don't do it.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

No, no. Wait, wait.

Put it together.
That's it, yeah.

Seven, eight.

What are the
estimated set costs?

Uh...

Eighty-two thousand.

It's too low.

What?

It's too low. It can't
be done at that price.

One, two, going
on. Six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four, five...

Mr. Mason?

Darian Mason?

Yes.

Kris Munroe.

Well, you're a pretty one.
Are you gonna dance for me?

No, I hope I'm gonna
shake your hand.

Oh.

Then what are you gonna do?

I'll explain to
you why I'm here.

Go ahead. I'm listening.

Well, I'm a reporter

and I'd love to do
a story about you.

A story?

I'm from the Omaha Dance Review.

Do they dance in Omaha?

Very well.

And we're very impressed
with the way you dance here.

If you don't mind,

I'd like to just hang around
and, uh, observe you.

Well, uh, I'm not dancing.

Well, whatever
it is you're doing,

you do it very well.

I'll bet they do other
things very well in Omaha.

Such as?

Schmooze.

Schmooze?

You're schmoozing me.

Am I doing it well?

Very well.

Heh-heh. Does that
mean I can stay?

You know that's what it means.

Wanna go get some more
water? Can you do it in tempo?

Two, three, four,
five, Six, seven, eight.

Great. Now, if you'll
add that other section

that I taught you...

I think you're better
than all of them.

I'm not as good as any of them.

Oh, yeah? I think you are.

Well, you don't count.

You sure you don't
want some more coffee?

No, thank you.

Would you stop bugging
me? You're driving me crazy.

I'm just trying to be nice.

Well, don't be. Don't
do me any favors.

From you, I don't
need any favors.

You really ought
to be nice to me.

Considering what
I know about you.

You really ought to be nice.

Okay, okay, lighten up.

Get me some coffee.

Cream, no sugar?

Right.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four, five.

All right, thank you.

Thank you.

Darian, listen. Since
we're fighting the clock,

why don't we just hire this girl

and end the audition
and get back to work?

No, I don't think so.

Darian, she can out-dance
any of the other girls

we've hired so far.

Well, she dances very well,

but she doesn't have the look
that we need for a Vegas Show.

Uh, I want you to
hire the other girl.

Uh, what's her name?

Garrett. Kelly Garrett.

Oh, we haven't even
seen her dance yet.

Now, I've seen her
move, and I love her look.

Hire her.

She has no experience.

She doesn't even have
a resume I can check out.

I'm sure she'll be fine.

Darian.

Hire her.

How did you do it?

Do what?

Get to Darian.

Get to him?

Don't play dumb with me.

I think the lady's trying
to tell you something.

She's not doing it very nicely.

No, she isn't, is she?

Clever little routine you
two have got going here,

but I don't buy it.

Look, I think you'd
better get to the point.

The point is, Darian just
insisted that I hire you.

Insisted? She hasn't
even danced yet.

Now look who's playing dumb.

Look, I don't know
Darian well enough

to get to him, as you put it.

If you want me to
audition for you, I'm ready.

It'd be a waste of time

because, as I said, he insisted.

Looks like we work together.

You got the right
word, honey. Work.

And I better get
a lot of it from you.

Ooh.

Well, looks like
you got the job.

Lucky me.

♪ We're gonna be pals To the end

♪ We're gonna be
buddies And friends

♪ And if the going Gets rough

♪ We're gonna All hang tough

♪ We're gonna
wing it In the groove

♪ Pretend we've got Every move

♪ And if our act
Starts to cave in

♪ Well at least We never gave in

/> Gonna fly free of the nest

♪ Playing it Close to the vest

♪ Give them the best Of our best

I And the hell With the rest

♪ In case you missed
it Let me state again

♪ We're gonna
be pals And friends

♪ And buddies to the end

♪ We're gonna be
pals Buddies and friends

♪ To the end, to the end

♪ Pals, buddies And friends

♪ To the end, to
the end T0 the end

♪ In case you missed
it Let me state again

♪ We're gonna be
pals Buddies and friends

♪ Pals, buddies And friends

♪ Pals, buddies And friends

♪ To the end, to
the end To the end

D> To the end, to the end >

Okay, okay.

Let see if we can get
this thing on its feet.

Hi.

Hi.

Well, what do you think?

Well, they all seem to care

and they're trying
real hard, but...

An audition in three days. Ehh.

Unless it gets better quicker,

our client, Mrs. Traina,
stands to a lose a bundle.

Okay, this is basically
an ensemble number,

but I will need one of
you to do a feature bit.

Nancy, did you volunteer?

Well, I'll try as long
as it's not too featured.

And Darian would
like you to volunteer.

And what do you want?

Whatever Darian wants.

Okay, let's line
up. Girls in front.

You four boys in back
of the girls please,

and the rest of you lay out

until I can figure
out where to put you.

Okay, right over here.

All right, this starts
on the right foot.

On the count of one, ready?

A five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

A one, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight. Okay.

The first part
looks pretty good,

but now it needs more style.

It's gotta be sharper.

When the legs are in
this position, take top...

Jessica,

why didn't you speak
up and volunteer?

Are you kidding? I can
barely keep up as it is.

I don't understand you.

You get an opportunity
and you don't take it.

Will you lay off,
you little creep?

I told you not to
talk to me like that.

That's it. Okay. Good.

You better remember what I said.

You better be nice to me.

I'll tell them what I know.

I mean...

I mean, I don't want to.

But if you make me, I'll do it.

Uh...

Okay, let's take
it from the top.

Nancy, you try it first.

You sit out.

Okay, come on, let's go.

A five, six, seven,
eight. A one.

Hold it, hold it.

Nancy, what are you doing?

I'm trying to do what you asked.

Trying doesn't make it.

Trying is for amateurs,
doing is for professionals.

Well, look, I'm
not a quick study.

I need a little more time.

Time we haven't got, Nancy.

Elephants have time

and they dance
just about as well.

Okay, once more.
Kelly, this time you try it.

One thing first.

What?

You lay into me like that

and I'll climb down your throat.

From the top.

A five, six, seven,
eight. A one.

Patty, Janet.

May I see you in your
starting marks, please?

Now, take your back...

Hi.

You gonna take a shot at me too?

Maybe with my camera.

It should be a great picture.
The Texas dancing elephant.

She was pretty rough on you.

Yeah, but the only problem
is, she's right about me.

Now you're being rough on you.

She's right about all of us.

Come on, I can't buy that.

It's true. We're all
a bunch of misfits.

My daddy bought me this job.

He just did it to help,

but I let him because
I wanted it do badly.

What do you mean your
dad bought you this job?

Aw. It don't make
any difference.

I guess we both made a mistake.

I should have stayed in Texas.

By the way, who are you anyway,

and why are you asking
me all these questions?

Oh. My name's Kris Munroe.

I'm with the Omaha Dance Review.

Listen, you gotta
keep the faith.

Besides, all you
have to lose is a job.

See that lady over there?

She stands to lose
an awful lot of money.

What are you talking about?

Well, I heard that she put
up all the money for this show.

Where did you hear that?

Oh, I don't remember.

But I think it's true.

Um, maybe I'll talk to
you sometime, okay?

Six seven, eight.

Two, two, three, four, five,

six, seven, eight.
One, two, three.

Better, better. Much better.

Your double air turn to
the knee ends on eight.

Up, two, three,
and kick on four,

passe through.

Triple pirouette,
open, four, step, five,

kick, six, step,
seven, kick, eight.

Okay. One more
time. All together.

A five, six, seven,
eight. A one.

Hello?

Who?

Oh, Nancy.

Listen, I'm sorry
to wake you up,

but I've gotta talk to you.

What's the matter?

You said you were a
reporter. I've got a story for you.

Can I meet you somewhere?

Uh, sure. Where?

How about that little coffee
shop around the corner

from where we're
rehearsing? It's open all night.

Okay, okay.

Uh, give me about
45 minutes, okay?

Bye.

Operator.

Why?

CHARLIE: Angels, have the
police come up with anything

on Nancy's disappearance?

No, Charlie.

And she hasn't
gone back to Texas.

They checked with
the Texas authorities.

Kris, Nancy didn't
give you any idea

what this story

she was going to give
you was about, did she?

No, Charlie,

but she sure seemed
anxious to talk about it.

Since she didn't show up,

we have to assume
someone stopped her.

Was Nancy having trouble
with anyone in the production?

No, but, well, she
was a little upset

because the choreographer,
Marcia, had leaned on her.

Was she considering quitting?

Oh, no. I don't think so.

She really wanted to work.

One thing does
puzzle me, though.

What's that?

Well, she said that her father
bought her the job in the show.

Bought her the job?

Yeah, I couldn't figure
out what she meant

and she certainly
wouldn't elaborate on it.

You know, maybe I
should contact her father

and see if I can find
out what she meant.

Good idea, Bosley.

Now, Angels, the
choreographer, Marcia,

does she have anything to gain

by the disappearance
of these girls?

She's a dedicated
professional, very demanding.

Since this is her first
job as a choreographer,

she wants everything
to look good.

Even if it means
getting rid of people

that she thinks are untalented?

Hard to tell.

We should check out that
guy who pushes the broom

at the rehearsal hall.

He's got something
going with, uh...

Oh... Oh, that girl,
Jessica Toddson.

Something going?
You mean a romance?

Well, he has eyes
for her all right,

but she can't see him at all.

Then I heard him say
she better be nice to him

or he'd tell what he knew.

Well, we'll check him
out. Uh, what's his name?

John Summers.

John Summers and
Jessica Toddson.

Well, Angels, the picture's
not getting any clearer, is it?

No, it isn't, Charlie.

The clock's
ticking, my feet hurt,

and tomorrow I have
some heavy waltzing.

Oh. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

♪ Dancing lady
in the night Turning

♪ To the left, to
the right Turning

I If you should chance
To glance to me

♪ Please tell me
If you chance to see

> Am I in your eyes
Through the night

♪ Turning

♪ To the left, to
the right Turning

♪ Surely you can guess

♪ I don't live unless

♪ I'm in your sight
Dancing lady in the night

♪ In your eyes Through the night

♪ Turning

♪ To the left, to
the right Turning

♪ Surely you can guess

♪ I don't live unless

♪ I'm in your sight
Dancing lady in the night.

Okay.

For the first time through
with costumes, not too bad.

Okay, take five, and
I'll give you my notes.

Je...

Jessica?

You did really good.

Thank you.

I knew you could do it.

All you do is believe in
yourself like I believe in you

and all those other
things, they won't matter.

How did I do?

You were great. Terrific.

Did you get hold of Bosley?

Yeah, I talked to him.

He come up with anything?

Well, our girl with the
unwanted boyfriend,

Jessica Toddson,

seems her credentials
are a little suspicious.

What does that mean?

Well, on her resume it
says that she danced in clubs

in Vegas and on Broadway.

Not true? Not true.

Last four years, she's
been working in this club

in Bakersfield
called Dirty Harold's.

Which is?

A strip joint.

A strip joint?

Yeah, she's been
dancing sans clothes.

Au naturel, as they say.

And guess who followed
her here from Bakersfield.

John Summers.

Good guessing.

He was the janitor
in Dirty Harold's.

So it's her background
he's threatening to expose.

Hmm, so it would seem.

Oh, listen,

Bosley got a hold
of Nancy's father

and asked him just how
he bought Nancy this job,

and he claims he put in a
hundred thousand dollars

into this production.

A hundred thousand?

I thought our client
was the only investor

in this little project.

Yeah, so did I.

Listen, after you
guys wrap tonight,

I'm gonna see if
I can get a peek

into Darian's files.

He's gotta go to the airport
to pick up the Vegas people.

After that, I'll meet
you around the corner

in that little coffee shop

about a half hour
after everybody's gone.

Okay. See you later.

Well, Miss Munroe.

What have we here?

Uh, I'll bet you're
wondering what I'm up to.

Yeah. I'd love to
hear your explanation.

Would you? Good. Well,
you know I'm a reporter,

Oh?

And I was very curious

as to how all this
came about, you know.

Finances, contracts.

I was sure you
wouldn't wanna take time

to explain it to me, so...

You decided to try
to find out for yourself.

Right.

You're lying, Miss Munroe.

No, I'm not.

Yes, you are.

You know, I don't know what
you and your two girlfriends

are doing here, but I don't
think I like it very much.

"Charles Townsend
Detective Agency."

No, I don't like it
very much at all.

I think you have
something of mine.

Miss Munroe, I wanna know

who sent you here
and who hired you.

Well, you might say I'm looking

after the best interest
of your investor.

Or should I say investors.

My, my, we are a
clever little girl, aren't we?

Yeah, well, you're
pretty clever yourself.

You got a nice little
scam going here.

How many investors are there?

Actually, there are six.

Who have put up how much money?

Between a hundred
and 150,000 apiece.

So you deliberately hire

inexperienced
singers and dancers.

You get rid of the ones
that turn out to be too good.

All to make certain

that your audition is a failure.

Well, with six investors

all thinking they own
100 percent of the show,

I could hardly
afford to pay them off

if I succeeded, could 17?

No, I guess you couldn't.

Where are the three
girls, Mr. Mason?

Well, actually, you might
say I have them on ice.

You're telling me
you killed them?

No, no, not at all.

No, you see,
they've been sedated

by a masked individual
that they could never identify.

After the audition tomorrow,

I'll tell my investors
the bad news,

I'll release the girls,

and they'll never know
who kidnapped them or why,

and I'll show a very healthy,
healthy profit from my failure.

Except for one problem.

Yup, you.

You can't just sedate me.

No, I'm afraid I can't.

And since this isn't
a very good place

to dispose of you,

shall we go?

I knew I'd blow my diet

sitting in that coffee
shop for an hour.

I may never forgive
Kris for not showing up.

Look, why don't we
check Darian's office.

Kris might still be there.

Okay.

I'll cover him from here.
You try to get behind him.

Okay.

Look, look, can't
we talk this over?

We already did. Move.

Look, wait a minute.

I don't have to spill
everything I know.

I mean, I'm not willing
to die to stay honest.

Move.

Hold it. Put the gun
down, Mr. Mason.

She said, drop it.

Kris, duck!

Ooh.

Far enough, friend.

You okay, Kris?

Oh. Yeah, I'm okay.

Nice dive.

Yeah, one of my best.

I suppose you're
a detective too.

How did you figure that out?

Well, you're no great dancer.

What did you say?

Uh, but on the other hand,
uh, you're not that bad.

Come on. Let's go.

Wait a minute.

You mean the three who quit,

they were really kidnapped?

Yes.

They're in the hospital right
now being checked over.

They'll be out in a few days.

You're saying that
Darian Mason hired us

because he wanted
to blow the audition?

Well, that was, uh,
the general idea.

Well, my big break
as a choreographer

and I get the job

because he figured
I couldn't cut it.

I guess that's a wrap.

Oh. Wait a minute.

The people from Vegas,

they'll be here for the audition

in a couple of hours.

You can't just walk out.

Mrs. Traina, why bother?

You backed a bunch of losers.

Wait a minute now.

There is a possibility

that Darian Mason
could have miscalculated.

Meaning what?

Meaning I think you owe it
to yourselves to give it a try.

She's right, you know.

If you all believe
you're losers,

you're halfway there.

But if you believe
you're winners,

you're also halfway there.

Besides, if you pull it off,

Miss Traina and
the other investors

can get a good portion
of their money back.

I think you owe
it to them to try.

You think so?

Yeah, I do.

Okay, since you've
rehearsed the number with us,

you can come up here
and stick your neck out

with the rest of us.

Seems fair.

I like it. I like it.

You just wait. This
is gonna be terrific.

[... I knew you'd make it.

I haven't made it.

None of us have.

You will.

Look, I'm not a standout.
I'm just glad I made the team.

You're a standout to me.

Thank you, John.
Would you get the zipper?

Thank you.

You okay?

Piece of cake.

Okay, let's do it. Break a leg.

Let's do it.

Bye.

♪ We're gonna be pals To the end

♪ We're gonna be
buddies And friends

♪ And if the going Gets rough

♪ We're gonna all Hang tough

♪ We're gonna
wing it In the groove

♪ Pretend we've got Every move

♪ And if our act
Starts to cave in

♪ Well at least We never gave in

♪ Gonna fly free Of the nest

♪ Playing it Close to the vest

♪ Give them the best Of our best

I And the hell With the rest

♪ In case you missed
it Let me state again

♪ We're gonna
be pals And friends

♪ And buddies to the end

♪ We're gonna be
pals, buddies And friends

♪ To the end, to the end

♪ Pals, buddies And friends

♪ To the end, to
the end To the end

♪ In case you missed
it Let me state again

♪ We're gonna be
pals Buddies and friends

♪ Pals, buddies And friends

♪ Pals, buddies And friends

♪ To the end, to
the end To the end

♪ To the end, to the end ♪

Well, how did you
like it, Mr. Karnes?

Uh, it needs a little work,

but I like it.

Start the playback.

I wanna see this thing.
Look it over again.

♪ We're gonna be pals To the end

♪ We're gonna be
buddies And friends

♪ And if the going Gets rough

♪ We're gonna all Hang tough

♪ We're gonna
wing it In the groove

♪ Pretend we've got Every move

♪ And if our act
Starts to cave in

♪ Well at least We never gave in

♪ Gonna fly free Of the nest

♪ Playing it Close to the vest

♪ Give them the best Of our best

I And the hell With the rest

♪ In case you missed
it Let me state again

» We're gonna pals and
friends And buddies to the end

♪ We're gonna be
pals, buddies And friends

♪ To the end, to the end >

Like it?

I like it.

I thought you'd like
it. Ah, we all like it.

♪ In case you missed
it Let me state again

♪ We're gonna be
pals Buddies and friends

♪ Pals, buddies And friends

♪ Pals, buddies And friends

♪ To the end, to
the end To the end

♪ To the end, to the end ♪

Yeah.

Whoo!