Charlie's Angels (1976–1981): Season 4, Episode 17 - Homes $weet Homes - full transcript

The Kingsbrook Realty Company, which has been linked to several robberies is the subject of the girls' latest case. Kris joins the all female agency, while Tiffany pretends to be selling a house (as well as being the owner of several valuable letters written by America's founding fathers). Bosley poses as a potential buyer.


CHARLIE: Once upon a time

there were three little girls
who went to the police academy.

One in Los Angeles.

One in San Francisco.

The other in Boston.

And they were each
assigned... [BUZZING]

very hazardous duties.

But I took them
away from all that

and now they work for me.

My name is Charlie.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Hm, there's Flo's van.

WOMAN: Maybe the
Victors are giving a party.

I thought they were in China.

I hope the real estate
agent's out of here.

Must be. Sign is gone.

Huh.

WOMAN: What's the matter?

The burglar alarm
has been turned off.

One of the agents probably
forgot to turn it back on.

I guess so.

I wonder if they got
any offers on the place.

Well.

Considering we've had people

tramping through
here all day long,

things look pretty good.

Then why do I feel uneasy?

Oh, it's just your imagination.

I'm gonna check the library.

Why?

I'm just going to, that's all.

Harry!

What's the matter with you?

You know how I hate
it when you do that.

We're expected at
the Burtons at 6:00,

it's an early dinner.

Okay, okay.

Scare a man to death.

[SCREAMS]

MAN: Just stay in the closet,
lady, we don't wanna hurt you.

[GLASS SHATTERING]

[♪♪♪]

CHARLIE: Angels, you
heard Mrs. Mayhew's story.

Fortunately, she was unharmed

and her husband suffered
only a mild concussion.

He should be out of the
hospital in a day or two.

Uh, can you describe what
was stolen, Mrs. Mayhew?

Yes, my husband owned a rare
collection of Egyptian jewelry.

Third dynasty.

They were museum pieces.

CHARLIE: Insured for half
a million dollars, Angels.

And the objects were all small

and therefore
easily transportable?

The entire collection

could be fitted into a handbag.

Well, it was obviously a very
carefully planned operation.

I mean, with the
burglar alarm turned off,

the thieves taking only
the Egyptian jewelry,

and their knowing
exactly where to find

the display case it was kept in.

And then to have scheduled
it during the open house

when there were
dozens of potential buyers

going in and out all day long.

Mrs. Mayhew,

you said a caterer's
van was parked

across the street
during the robbery?

Yes. Oh, but Tyrone is

the leading caterer
in Beverly Hills.

We've used him
for parties ourselves.

He would never be involved

in anything like this.

Sorry, Mrs. Mayhew,
but the police do believe

Tyrone's van was
used by the thieves.

Tyrone himself
reported it stolen

the afternoon of the robbery.

It was found the next
morning at the airport.

Mrs. Mayhew, what
real estate company

has a listing on your house?

Kingsbrook Realty.

Oh, they're a
very reliable firm.

Angels, think we've taken
enough of Mrs. Mayhew's time.

I know she's very anxious

to visit her husband
in the hospital.

Yes, especially since Tyrone

is catering his lunch
personally today.

I want to thank you for
helping us, Mr. Townsend.

Our pleasure, Mrs. Mayhew.

Bosley will see you to the door.

Thank you all.

Bye-bye. Nice meeting you.

Well, as the saying goes,
our work is cut out for us.

Yeah.

Kingsbrook Realty.

Isn't there a slogan:

"Kingsbrook, king of Beverly
Hills" or something like that?

Yeah, that's the one.
Barry Kingsbrook.

Hires nothing but
would-be gorgeous starlets

who sell houses
and anything else

their clients are interested in.

Hm.

Angels, I didn't want to say
this in front of Mrs. Mayhew,

but the police have
investigated Barry Kingsbrook

before on charges
similar to these.

They've never been
able to prove anything.

But before we
start on Kingsbrook,

let's clear up all
the loose ends.

Tiffany, check the Mayhew
house, see what you can find.

And, Kelly, why don't
you pay Tyrone a call?

Maybe he can, uh...

He can cater you
some information.

[♪♪♪]

Oui?

Hello, I'm Kelly Garrett.

I have a 3:00
appointment with Tyrone.

Ah, yes. Miss Garrett.

Monsieur Tyrone
is expecting you.

Monsieur,
Mademoiselle. eh, Garrett.

Ah, monsieur will be
with you in a moment.

Thank you.

Mademoiselle Garrett?

Enchanté. Welcome to Tyrone.

Everything is in readiness.

Everything? Oh, but of course.

You see, Tyrone believes
that careful planning

is the key to the
successful affair,

n'est-ce pas?

That is why Tyrone
does not talk catering.

Tyrone caters.

Hm. Aprés vous, eh.

Shall we, Albert?

Voilà indeed.

Well, I certainly
wasn't expecting all this.

Yes. I can't stay long,

but, uh, we'll
have a little taste.

Very good. You
see, where others say

that their food is delicious,

Tyrone proves his
food is delicious.

[SPEAKS FRENCH]

Oh, no, no, no. [SPEAKS
FRENCH, CLEARS THROAT]

Tyrone, the table
is magnificent.

Ah, merci, merci.

Um, we will commence with...

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

Mmm. Sounds wonderful.

You know, the
Mayhews were delighted

with the meal you served
Mr. Mayhew in the hospital.

Well, you know the Mayhews?

That is very strange,

because I have never seen
you at one of their parties.

Oh, well, I... I've been living
in Paris the past few years.

I've so missed the social
scene of Beverly Hills.

Delicious.

[ALBERT WHIMPERING]

Tell me. Yes.

Who's been attending the
Mayhew parties these days?

The usual guests.

Uh, the mayor, always,

and the very
different movie stars,

the old ones you know,
and I may add, the real ones.

Like Barbra, Lana,
Loretta, Paul and Barry.

Barry's always there.

Barry? Barry Kingsbrook.

Oh, yes. He's the king of
the Beverly Hills real estate.

And my favorite client.

Do you know, mademoiselle,
I cater his poker games.

And while thousands of dollars
are going from left to right,

I'm serving him caviar.

In Tyrone's special
delicacy that he likes.

From this we will move on to...

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

I... I'm so sorry, Tyrone.

But I do have an appointment
with my hairdresser.

You are leaving? But...
[SPEAKING FRENCH]

Oh, I hope you'll forgive
me. But you forget,

the dinner party that you
mentioned on the telephone,

remember? You forgot to tell
me how much you want to spend.

Oh, yes. How
thoughtless of me, Tyrone.

Oh, let's see. My budget
only allows me to spend,

uh, $1000.

Ah, merveilleux, because
Tyrone can provide for you

for $1000, a very
intimate dinner for 20.

[LAUGHS]

How nice. Unfortunately,

I was thinking of something
a little more elaborate.

Say, uh, $1000 for two?

Bonjour.

Come on, Albert.

[♪♪♪]

Put the food back in the fridge.

Damn it.

Did I blow it.

[♪♪♪]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[GASPS]

You're not a robber, señorita.

No, I'm not a robber, I'm
a friend of the Mayhews.

Who are you?

Juan Garcia, señorita.

[SPEAKS FRENCH]

The gardener. Ah. You work here?

Sí, señorita.

Where you here the
day of the robbery?

Sí, señorita.

You have any idea who
might have stolen the jewels?

No, señorita.

[SPEAKS SPANISH]

All day, many people, many cars.

Who was the last one to
leave, do you remember?

[SPEAKS SPANISH]

A woman.

I saw someone get in
the car across the street

and drive away.

Then I went home.

What'd she look
like, this woman?

Oh. From across
the street, señorita,

my eyes are not so good.

She was muy bonita.

But the car,

the car was different
than the others.

How was it different?

A... Un station wagon.

With a picture on the door.

A picture? What kind of picture?

[SPEAKS SPANISH]

A halo?

Uh, an angel?

I'll show you. Okay.

[♪♪♪]

This was on the car.

[JUAN SPEAKS SPANISH]

BOSLEY: Well, it
looks like you were right

about Kingsbrook
Realty, Charlie.

It seems that they're
connected in some way

with every possible suspect.

Tina Fuller certainly could have

turned that burglar alarm off.

And Tyrone is definitely
connected to Kingsbrook.

He told me so himself.

CHARLIE: Kris, why
don't you go to work

as an agent in
Kingsbrook Realty?

How do I do that, Charlie?

By showing up. I got
you the job yesterday.

So, what took you so long?

[♪♪♪]

Okay, I want all you
new agents to remember

that if it's south of Olympic,
we aren't interested.

If it's west of La
Mesa Drive, pass,

and if it's less
than half a million,

we can't waste our time on it.

Mr. Kingsbrook. Yeah?

Is it true that we're not
allowed to wear slacks?

What, and cover up
those beautiful legs?

Ladies, real estate is sexy.

Now, the Kingsbrook
Company sells sexy houses,

and it takes sexy ladies
to bring in the bucks.

Your job is to move
the merchandise.

Now, however you go about it,

hey, that's your business, okay?

Are there any more questions?

No. No?

Perfectly clear.

Okay. I'll be assigning
each one of you

to an experienced
agent for one week.

You'll find out how
we operate in the field,

and, uh, I guess that's
all. Thank you very much.

Uh, Terry, I wanted
to ask you a question.

Kris. Could I talk
to you for a minute?

Yes, Mr. Kingsbrook.

No, no, no, no. It's Barry.

Everyone around here
is on a first-name basis.

Barry.

Kris, I would like to see
you sell a house a month.

Now, let me give
you a little tip.

Check out your friends, find
out who's getting a divorce.

It's pure gold.

What do you mean?

Well, you see, for every
divorce in Beverly Hills,

there are actually
three houses sold:

the one the happy
couple leaves behind...

They have to sell it so they can
divide up community property.

And the two that each one
of them buys after the split.

I never thought of it that way.

Well, if you start
thinking about it that way,

you'll make $100,000
in a bad year, okay?

Okay.

Is this a single's match
or can anybody play?

Hi, babe.

I wouldn't want to
stop a good thing.

Kris, this is Tina Fuller.

Tina, this is Kris Munroe,
she's a new girl in town.

I can tell.

She looks like she can
move the merchandise.

Oh, yeah. It's nice
to meet you, Tina.

I've heard great
things about you.

Some of it may even be true.

Oh, and in case you have
any plans for the man here, Kris,

he and I are an item.

What? You don't believe
in multiple listings?

No, dear.

Well, listen,

my only plans are to
make some big bucks.

I was just getting
a few pointers.

This girl speaks the
native tongue, Barry.

Welcome to the
kingdom of Beverly Hills.

And buy yourself a bucket,

'cause if you're sharp,

it's gonna start raining money.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

I'm sorry. Either I speak with
Mr. Kingsbrook personally,

or I guess you lose the listing.

WOMAN: Just a moment please.

[BUZZES]

Yeah, Cindy, what is it?

A Miss Ludlow on
the line for you, Barry.

She insists on speaking
to you personally.

What does she
want? Well, she wants

to sell her uncle's house.

It's a $2 million
listing, Barry.

I'll take the call.

Barry Kingsbrook here.

Mr. Kingsbrook, Tiffany Ludlow.

My aunt and uncle are on
the Riviera for the season,

and they've authorized me

to sell their house
during their absence.

I have all the necessary
legal papers, etcetera.

And what's the address?

601 Beverly Heights Drive.

Can you come and see it?

I can do better than that.
I'll, uh, bring our A-team out,

and we'll give you
an accurate appraisal.

What's a good time for you?

Oh, the sooner the better.

I'm sure you'll be
pleasantly surprised.

I'm looking forward
to meeting you.

He'll be here in an hour.

You were perfect.

Thank you.

Now, for the little surprise
that Charlie and I planned

for the folks at
Kingsbrook and Company.

Mr. Kingsbrook should
find these irresistible.

Show us what you got, Bos.

The bait.

And if Kingsbrook bites,

his fence will have
to find the buyer.

So he will have to
call the one gentleman

who specializes in this
kind of merchandise who...

Who Charlie just
happens to know.

Mm-hm.

Right. He's gone straight now,

but he likes to keep
up with the action.

Got it. He'll call Charlie
and we can spring the trap.

Precisely.

Ladies, would you like to

feast your eyes on
those little goodies?

They're letters.

Bos.

Read on.

And to paraphrase the Bard,

damned be she who
first cries, "Ho! Enough."

[♪♪♪]

Don't worry, Bos. Sure, Bosley.

[♪♪♪]

BARRY: At 2
million, it's a steal.

Barry, uh, I want the exclusive.

Ha-ha-ha! Down, Tina.

I'll tell you girls
what I'm gonna do.

Now, the call came
in to me personally,

but I'm gonna throw
it up for grabs, okay?

So whoever sells this place
gets half the commission,

that's 40 or 50,000
big green ones, got it?

Okay, let's go.

Ah, Mr. Kingsbrook.

Won't you come in?

Tiffany Ludlow.

Hello, what a pleasant surprise.

Thank you.

Do come in, everyone. Hello.

Hello How are you today?

Go right into the garden
and make yourselves at home.

[♪♪♪]

Miss Ludlow? TIFFANY: Yes?

You give us the run of
the house for 20 minutes,

and we will vanish
out of you life,

but only for the time being.

I'll be in the study
going over my collection.

If any of you have
any questions,

please don't hesitate to ask.

Uh, I have a question. Yes.

What do you
collect? Rare letters.

These are from the
American Revolution.

Washington, Jefferson,
Franklin, et cetera.

The collection's been in
my family four generations.

Well, it must be invaluable.

Well, they're
insured for 2 million,

but of course I could
never part with them.

They're irreplaceable.

Do you think we could
get a look at them later?

Anyone who wishes to
share an exciting touch

with American history
is welcome to see them.

I'll be in the study.

I hope you like the house.

Okay, girls, 20
minutes, in and out.

Let's go, huh?

Miss Ludlow. Yes?

Uh, I'd like to see
your collection.

Would you? Yes.

I'm so glad you
asked, Mr. Kingsbrook.

[♪♪♪]

Are you an epistolary?

Uh, heh, I beg your pardon?

An admirer of rare letters.

Oh, no, no. But I'm
interested. Please show me.

Oh, thank you.

They show the human
side of our founding fathers.

Rare love letters from George
Washington to his mistress...

[SPEAKS FRENCH]

Oh, old George
had a mistress, huh?

Oh, indeed he did.

There's one from Benjamin
Franklin to Mrs. Howe.

They often played
chess together.

Hm. Do you mind if I read one?

Of course.

Just, uh, keep it
in its plastic jacket.

They are, after all, invaluable.

[♪♪♪]

Washington, Jefferson,
Benjamin Franklin,

anybody who was
anyone in those days.

I've seen them, and, uh,

they gotta be worth a fortune.

They are worth a fortune.

I know, because,
uh, I've got a buyer.

That was fast.

I got on it the
minute you called.

See, there's a fence in Miami

who handles letters.

He's the only
one in the country.

Now, I gave him a ring,

and he's sending a
buyer in from Palm Beach.

A guy from Palm Beach, Florida.

Uh, Jake Pickens is his name.

Sent to me by my, uh...
My contact in Miami.

[SPEAKS SPANISH]

He collects letters.
He's a real freak-o.

Well, he wants
letters, I got letters.

I'll tell you, they're,
uh, worth 2 million easy.

Less my commission, of course.

Of course.

You, uh, you can set
up an appointment?

Can a fish swim?

Okay, how about tomorrow, 12:00,

the Ambrochette
Room in Beverly Hills?

And I'll pick up
the tab, naturally.

Just one thing, Barry.

My client insists on
seeing the merchandise

before he buys.

That's no problem.
I can arrange that.

I'll be at the
Ambrochette at noon.

Remember, Jake Pickens.

Got it.

[♪♪♪]

Barry. You could knock, babe.

Yeah, well, this is urgent.

I'm about to close
a $2 million deal,

and you talk urgent?

I think Kris
what's-her-name is a phony.

Oh, what? Get out
of here. Come on.

She's out there in the
other room right now

going over our listings.

But not just any listings.

Only the homes that
have been robbed.

It could be a coincidence.

Yeah. And Raquel
Welch is Orphan Annie.

What, you think she's
an insurance investigator?

Or a cop.

[SIGHS]

Okay, tell you what.

You've got a friend at the
Real Estate Commission.

Check into her background,

find out where she went
to real estate school,

where she got her
license, the whole works.

Good idea.

I'll check it out from my end.

If she is a plant, she
already knows too much.

I might have to arrange...

a little accident
for Miss Munroe.

Why so sad?

Oh, I just hate to see legs
like those go to waste, that's all.

[♪♪♪]

Mmm, not bad, not like the
fried chicken in Palm Beach,

but not bad.

What'd you say the
name of this place was?

Ambrochette. Probably
one of the most

exclusive restaurants
in Beverly Hills.

People pay over $300 a month

just for the privilege
of eating lunch here.

Well, I guess aside
from the mediocre service

and the poor food
and my getting knocked

half off of my chair
almost all afternoon

and the horrible traffic
noise and the gas fumes,

you can call this
a passing affair.

But when are we gonna get
to the business in hand, boy?

I mean, didn't Marty tell you
that I have a busy schedule?

Right now,
Mr. Pickens, right now.

Just call me Jake, would you?

All my good
buddies call me Jake.

Right, Jake.

Now, I have arranged for us
to see a house this afternoon,

you understand for
purposes of our discussion,

we are referring
to it as a house.

Well, I call 'em letters,

but if you wanna call it a
house, you go right ahead.

No, please, don't
mention letters.

This house is
colonial, authentic.

Washington, Jefferson,
Benjamin Franklin,

all could have slept there,
if you get my meaning.

Then what I understand is
that you want 2 million cold cash

for this here colonial.

That's right. Delivery
within the week.

It'll have to be by Sunday, boy,

because I'm gonna
hop on my little plane

and go right back to Palm Beach.

Now, you just let me see
exactly what I'm gonna buy,

and I'll guarantee you

that you'll have your
cash within 48 hours.

I like your style,
Jake. Well, that's good,

because I don't think very
much of this restaurant of yours.

Now, look, if you could just...

You call that fat boy and see if
he can get my coffee over here

without knocking
me out of my chair.

Waiter?

[♪♪♪]

You owe me one, Tina,
and don't you forget it.

Oh, cool down, Glenn. I'm
just doing a job for my boss.

Yeah, well, mine is gonna
come waltzing in here

any minute from lunch. And if
he sees you looking at his files,

we are going to
be in deep trouble.

Well, Kris Munroe

did not take her real
estate exam here in L.A.

So what?

She got her real estate
license in Sacramento.

You saw the folder.

Sure, sure, your boss
gets a letter from his boss

in Sacramento, and
everything's okay.

But there's nothing
official here, no documents.

It's not kosher, pal.
It's not kosher at all.

You know what's kosher, Tina?

What?

You and me out discoing tonight.

And after that we
go back to my place,

and pick up where
we left off last year.

How about it?

I have an even better idea.

Name it.

When you're ready to
buy a house, call me.

And then we'll go
discoing all night.

You're all heart, Tina.

You know that?

See you later.

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

[♪♪♪]

Oh!

Well, well, well, here you
are, right on the button.

I like that, that
gives me confidence.

Well, that's what I
sell, Jake. Confidence.

Ah, Barry, this here is Miss
Lucy Doolittle from Pensacola.

[SOUTHERN ACCENT] Hi.

Hi. It's a pleasure to meet
a real Southern lady, ma'am.

Pleased to meet a
western gentleman, sir.

I've been listening
to Mr. Pickens

sing your praises
ever since lunch.

Unfortunately, Barry,
I can't carry a tune

so that may not be a compliment.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Jake, you're too much.

Uh, may I present Kris Munroe,

one of my real
estate associates?

Hello.

How do you do? Hi.

BARRY: Would you like
to continue this in the car?

Uh, hop in and I think you're
in for a few pleasant surprises.

BOSLEY: I like surprises, as
long as they don't cost me money.

BARRY: That's funny.

There's nothing funny when
it comes to money, Barry.

[♪♪♪]

[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

Well, Jake?

We'll see, we'll see, son.

I think you're gonna
like it, Jake, believe me.

Well, son, for the kind of
money we're talking about,

I should love it.

[CHUCKLES]

What a charming house.

How much is it?

Oh, it's 2 million asking,
we think it's a steal.

Oh, well, who's doing
the stealing, honey?

The buyer or the seller?

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Hello, everybody.

Folks, this is Tina Fuller,

another Barry Kingsbrook
real estate specialist

ready to serve you.

Oh, Barry, Barry, Barry.

Where do you find them?

Why don't you all come in

and have a glass of
champagne and cool off?

Okay.

Go ahead, Jake.

BOSLEY: Oh, yeah.

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Allow me to present
Tyrone, caterer to the stars.

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

We have here a few delicacies
to tempt the travelers' palate.

My, my, my, you know a
man can put on 50 pounds

just looking at all that.

[LAUGHTER]

Tyrone, the champagne, please.

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

Lovely.

Thank you. Thank you.

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

but, um, have we not met before?

You remember...

Oh, I hardly think so,
Mr. Tyrone, but you know,

I do have a cousin
that lives around here,

and some folks think
there's a certain likeness.

Yes, but...

Oh, Mr. Tyrone,
I do envy you, sir.

You must tell me the
name of each and every star

that you have ever catered to.

Mr. Kingsbrook,
how nice to see you.

Miss Ludlow, you look fabulous.

Thank you, Mr. Kingsbrook,
so do you. So do you.

Thank you.

Are these the buyers
you mentioned?

Yes, this is Mr. Jake
Pickens of Palm Beach.

My pleasure.

Charmed.

And his friend Miss Doolittle.

Hi.

TIFFANY: Hello.

Would you like to join us
for some hors d'oeuvres?

Oh, I do love the
way you sell houses.

Thank you.

You know, it turns out
that you and Mr. Pickens

have something in
common. Oh, what's that?

Well, he also collects rare
letters, and he was wondering

if you'd be kind enough
to show yours to him.

Treasures are made to be shared,

Mr. Kingsbrook, don't you agree?

Oh, my philosophy
exactly, Miss Ludlow.

Mr. Kingsbrook,
you are incorrigible.

[♪♪♪]

Ooh, not bad, not bad
at all, if I say so myself.

Have you seen the Franklin
letter to the marquesa?

Seen it? My dear,
I memorized it.

I have never seen
anything like it, Miss Ludlow.

Tell me about your
collection, Mr. Pickens.

Well, at the last
appraisal it was valued

at a quarter of a million
dollars, but that is not even

in the same ballpark
as these little darlings.

I, uh... I gather you
like them, Jake?

Oh, you gather correctly, son.

Maybe Miss Ludlow knows

where you can get
some that are similar.

Hm. Well, Mr. Pickens,

I wish I could, but
these are one of a kind,

they've been in my
family for generations.

There's no way I could
ever part with them.

BOSLEY: Not for any price?

Not for any price.

Well.

Well, then, I guess I
should just reconcile myself.

Why don't you and me talk price

about the house, Mr. Kingsbrook?

At least I can buy
something today.

Would you excuse
us, Miss Ludlow?

Of course.

Thank you.

[♪♪♪]

You, uh, like them Jake?

Oh, I don't just like
them, son. I want them.

Real bad.

You got 'em.

Just have the money
ready Saturday afternoon,

and I'll tell you where

to deliver when the time comes.

Then Sunday morning, I'm on
my little plane to Palm Beach,

and that only gives
you 24 hours, son.

You think you can handle it?

Remember my motto, Jake:

Barry Kingsbrook,
where the client is king.

Ho-ho!

[BARRY CHUCKLES]

I think we've
zeroed in on the rat.

Uh-huh. Now all we have to
do is get the rat into the trap.

[NORMAL VOICE] You
northern girls sure do talk dirty.

[♪♪♪]

Excuse me.

Uh, can I talk to you
for a moment, Barry?

Sure. Excuse me, Jake? Yes, son.

Not now, Tina.

Barry, it's now or never.

I had a friend of
mine check Kris' file

in Sacramento
and it doesn't exist.

She has to be a plant.

Well, well.

I told you not to bring
her, why did you?

Okay, hold it down.

I learned something
a long time ago:

If somebody is watching you,

keep them close so you
can keep an eye on them.

Don't worry. Kris
Munroe is dead.

[♪♪♪]

BARRY: Well, uh,
yes, Miss Ludlow.

The open house
is doing just fine.

Well, my people will
be there from 1 to 5,

you can come back
any time after 5.

Okay.

Well, thank you.

Bye.

You wanted to see me?

Yeah, Kris, I wanted to go
over some new listings with you,

but, uh, we'll work
out at my place

and kinda get away from
the phones, you know?

Oh, I can't. I have a meeting

with a very important
client in 10 minutes.

This is not a request, my
dear. It's what you're going to do.

So you might as well put a smile

on that pretty
little face of yours.

Honey, I am gone for the day.

No phone calls under
any circumstances

and don't try to find me.

Barry, this is a
qualified buyer.

He's gonna make an
offer on a million six house.

We have the exclusive.
Do you know what the...?

You are going to love my place.

There's not another
one like it in Beverly Hills.

The man I bought it from was
a million dollar a picture actor

and he's got a room in
there called the bomb shelter

you are not going to believe.

Barry, I don't wanna go.

Well, then you're fired.
Is that what you want?

Well, you certainly
can be convincing.

Ha-ha! This way.

[♪♪♪]

I don't understand this.

Where is Kris? She was
due here 20 minutes ago.

Why don't we call her
at Kingsbrook's office?

Well, let's give her
five more minutes.

Ah, looks like the last
ones are leaving now.

Bye-bye, now.

[♪♪♪]

Bos, there's Tiffany.

Hi. Hi.

All right, everybody's left
the house except Tina Fuller.

And that little sweetheart
has just unlocked the front door

and turned off
the burglar alarm.

I figure is the same thing
she did at the Mayhew house

the day of the robbery
there. Have you seen Kris?

No.

Haven't you?

Well, that does it,

then I'm gonna
phone her at the office.

Look.

[♪♪♪]

Come on in, guys.

It's that way.

BOSLEY: Let's go.

[♪♪♪]

[DOOR OPENS]

All right. Don't move.

Hold it!

Get up slowly, gentlemen.

Hold it!

Hold it!

[COUGHING]

Where's Kris?

How should I know?

All I did was unlock the door.

Tina, whatever happens,
you're an accessory.

Now, where is she?

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Come on, let's go. Come on.

[♪♪♪]

Chang, we'll be in
the bomb shelter.

This way.

The movie star I
bought this place from

was convinced that
someone was out to get him

so he had this bomb
shelter constructed.

Aprés vous.

It pays to be crazy, right?

Paranoid's paradise.

Now, wouldn't you like to, uh,

get out of those hot clothes

and slip into
something comfortable?

I'd like to get back
and sell that house.

Uh-huh. Well, you
know what they say

about all work and no play.

Well, you know what they say

about all play and
no commissions.

I'll tell you what.

Let's get into the hot tub
and talk about your future

with the company, okay?

And don't worry, I have
a suit for every size.

Hmmm.

Well, when in
Rome... Right this way.

KELLY: 601 Beverly
Heights Drive.

They're waiting
for you, sergeant.

Please hurry. Right.

[SIGHS]

Time is running out, Tina.

I'll go a lot easier on you

if you tell us where Kris is.

[SIGHS]

Barry took her to his place.

But I had absolutely
nothing to do with it.

[♪♪♪]

Hello.

Dynamite. You know,

maybe I should double
your commission.

Why do you think
I wear the suit?

[GIGGLES]

Here you go. Pure
fruit juice and vitamins.

Here's to... moving
the merchandise.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER RADIO]

[ENGINE STARTS]

This is nice, isn't it? [SIGHS]

It's nice, it's really nice.

Who hired you, Kris?

[SIGHS]

What do you mean?

Kris, who hired you?

[SIGHS]

What did you put in that drink?

It's just fruit juice.

Of course there a
coating on the glass

with drug on it.

Nice little drug.

Now, are you gonna answer
some of my questions?

I wanna know who
you're working for,

and I wanna know how much
you know about my operations.

Oh, I'm so sleepy.

[SIGHS]

Now, you listen to me.

Unless I administer an antidote

they're gonna find you here

simmered like an
artichoke. Cooked to death.

Now, are you gonna talk to me,

or do I have to
leave you here to die?

[♪♪♪]

[HORN HONKING]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Okay, babe. I gave
you every chance.

There's nothing more
I can do for you now.

[♪♪♪]

[BELL RINGS]

Dedrick Exterminators. No. No.

Mr. Kingsbrook telephoned us.

You've got termites.

Sorry, no need termites.

We're not selling
them. You have them.

No have termites.

Have Tupperware,
silverware. All kind of ware.

No termites.

We mean... bugs.

You sell bugs?

TIFFANY:
Mr. Kingsbrook sent for us.

May we see him, please? He busy.

He's really gonna
be bugged if you...

don't tell him about his bugs.

Sorry. Mr. Kingsbrook, he busy.

Well, I'm sorry, but we're
going to have to insist.

You sell termites with gun.

Aye. Excuse me.

[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

Chang?

Chang?

Kris?

You didn't really think
I'd drink that, did you?

Look,

we can make a deal, okay?
I know we can make a deal.

I don't think so.

Think about it, Kris.

A million dollars I'm
talking about, okay?

Tax free, no strings.

I'm talking about
a million dollars.

A million dollars, Kris!

I'm good for it. Ask anybody.

[♪♪♪]

[SHOUTS]

[GLASS SHATTERING]

Kris!

Kris!

I think that's called
moving the merchandise.

Kris!

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Looking for a house?

This one's a steal.

Wait'll you see the playroom.

[ALL LAUGH]

[♪♪♪]

BOSLEY: Well, Charlie,
most of the stolen items

including the Mayhew's
Egyptian jewelry were found

in a warehouse in San Francisco.

You see, apparently
Kingsbrook was selling them

one at the time. Whenever
he was in need of money

to cover his poker debts.

CHARLIE: That's one of the
reasons he was so hard to trace.

Kingsbrook, in his own
way, was a shrewd operator.

Oh, a man of
impeccable taste, Charlie.

He stole nothing but the best.

Speaking of
impeccable taste, Angels,

I think you deserve
a special reward

for the fine job you did.

Bosley, show the
Angels what I had in mind.

I thought that you would
never mention it, Charlie.

As for myself, I cannot
stomach the idea.

But on behalf of the Angels,

I thank you and bid you adieu.

Do you...? Do
you get the felling,

Bosley's trying to
tell us something?

With all the subtlety
he can muster.

And our Bos is not
known for his subtlety.

Ladies, please. You
are spoiling the surprise.

Voilà!

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

Oh, boy.

Beautiful.

Tyrone has created
these irresistible morsels

to caress your palates.

Ha-ha! Terrific.

May I serve you, monsieur?

Uh, no, no, no, Tyrone.
Really, I shouldn't.

Oh, yeah. You see.
Bosley's on a diet, Tyrone.

Yes, he has to lose
10 pounds this month.

Stakes his reputation on it.

Don't you, Bos?

Yes, uh, that's... That's true.

But of course it's not every
day that we get a chance

to celebrate the
rescue of letters

by George Washington,
Thomas Jefferson

and Benjamin Franklin,

our founding fathers. Bosley.

Your diet.

Think of your reputation.

Greater love hath no man

than he lay down his
diet for his country.

Oh, no. Here. Mmm.

Bravo.

[LAUGHS]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]