Charlie's Angels (1976–1981): Season 4, Episode 1 - Love Boat Angels - full transcript

Tiffany Welles joins the Townsend Agency after Sabrina has quit to get married and start a family. Charlie tells his girls to take a cruise on the Pacific Princess to catch art thief Paul Hollister. Kris offers to get close to their target, but soon begins to feel an attraction to him.








Angels, your next assignment

involves a major art theft
that took place three days ago.

Five million dollars' worth
of bronze and gold statuary

that was being transferred
from Los Angeles Harbor

to the Wellington Museum.

I'm Tiffany Welles.

Kris Munroe.


Kelly Garrett.


The Bosley people.
Welcome aboard.

This is Julie McCoy,
our cruise director.

ALL: Hi.


JULIE: Hello, welcome aboard.

Hello. Hi.

I'm Paul Hollister.
This is Wes Anderson.

Hi. Hello.

Uh, girls, this is our
client, uh, Mr. Avery,

Hello. How are you doing?

Eastern International Insurance.

Sit down, girls.

Uh, you and Mr. Avery
will be traveling together.

AVERY: Elenor Case.

Art History degree.

She worked for various museums

before she went on the
more lucrative field of

fencing stolen art.

We've gotta decide which
one of us begins a relationship

with Paul Hollister.


I think the decision's
already been made

by Mr. Paul Hollister himself.

Now, you listen.

Damajaran hired me to
move that merchandise.

He's been looking
over my shoulder

ever since this operation began.

I don't like people
looking over my shoulder.

Now, you tell him, I'll
move the merchandise

when I think it's safe.

Mr. Hollister, you need
to learn some manners.



Okay, gentlemen,
the party's over.


No, Kris...

Lady, you've pushed
your luck far enough.

You wanna keep
breathing, you back off.

PAUL: Do as he says.

You make a move, he
gets it. You understand?


He didn't get
away, he was taken.


I am less than pleased with
your performance, ladies.

Well, we are less than pleased
with your attitude, Mr. Avery.

And you have no idea
who these three men are.

Look, you were there
when we called Charlie.

We gave him their names, and
as soon as he's checked them out

he'll contact us.

I'm afraid that will take
more time than I can afford.

We're gonna find Paul
Hollister, Mr. Avery.

Well, if you do,

I intend to initiate
my contingency plan.

Your contingency plan?

Yes. When we left Los
Angeles I, uh, placed a briefcase

in the ship's safe.

It contains $1 million in cash.

What do you intend to
do with $1 million in cash?

Offer it to Paul Hollister

in exchange for the
return of the stolen articles.

Wait a minute, you
can't be serious.

Well, of course I am.

Then you're paying
a man for stealing.

Well, as, uh... As she said,

utilitas ante justicia.

Expediency before justice.

TIFFANY: Now, wait a minute.

I'm the new kid on the block

and you're the client,

so you can play it your way.

But meanwhile, Paul
Hollister may be in big trouble.

Now, my father always
said that the best place

for a cop to get help
is from another cop.

Meaning what?

I think we should contact
the local authorities.

Well, I don't think so.

Why not?

If we bring in the local police,

we'll have to tell
them the entire story,

and Eastern
International Insurance

does not want this
matter made public.

In the meantime, Hollister's
life may be in danger.


But as she also
said, I am the client,

and if I want the
matter kept private,

you will keep it private.

No police.

Now how do we
find Mr. Hollister?

Well, if it's any help, I
got the license number

of the limousine
that carted him off.

Well, why didn't you say so?

I just did.

Come on. They must
have their version

of the Department
of Motor Vehicles

or something around
here somewhere.


all the homes I have

throughout the world,

Mr. Hollister, this is
one of my favorites.

Do you find this view
as enchanting as I?

Oh, yes. Yes, it's
very enchanting.

Mr. Hollister,

I hired you for this
project because I was told

that you were a man of
integrity, breeding, taste.

Hence I believed that you
would be able to understand

my somewhat
complicated drives, needs.

You're not so complicated,
Mr. Damajaran.

You saw a ship burning
in the harbor one night.

And then you
heard it was carrying

a lot of fancy
Greek bric-a-brac.

Priceless statuary is not
bric-a-brac, Mr. Hollister.


You also learned the
stuff was being transferred

to the Lady Scotia for
shipment to Los Angeles.

You hired me
to steal it for you.

Yes, and you did it.
You did it brilliantly.

But now I want to know

where you're keeping the
merchandise in Los Angeles,

and when and how you
intend to bring it here.

I have a new wing I'm
anxious to decorate.

I told them and I'll tell you.

I'll bring it here when
I think the time is right.

Mr. Hollister, I'm
not accustomed

to being refused what I ask.

Mr. Damajaran,

I don't care how many
rooms of stolen art

you got in this little shack.

You get off walking
around, staring at this stuff,

knowing you're the only man
in the world that can see it.

Fine. I get off doing
what no other man can do.

Stealing it.

Now, you stay out of my space

and I'll stay out of yours.

You blow me away, you're
never gonna get your merchandise.

Conversely, Mr. Hollister,

if I don't see the
merchandise soon, I will,

as you so graphically put it,

blow you away.



That may have been a mistake,
letting him walk out of here.

We'll be watching him.

Well, we better watch him close.

I just talked to my
Los Angeles contact.

The blond lady. Miss Munroe.


I don't know what
she's doing here,

but she used to be a cop.

Are you certain?

I'm sure.

San Francisco Police Academy.

Don't let him out of your sight.


Why, if he had to
take a vacation cruise,

did he come back here?

I don't know.

I'm more interested
in finding out

why Hollister's hanging
around an ex-lady cop.

Find out everything you can
about her and her two friends.

They may have to be disposed of.



Well, well, well, Miss Case.

Mr. Anderson.

Did you have a pleasant trip?


Did you make yourself
visible in Los Angeles?

I went to the best places,

I was seen with
significant people.

You about ready here?

Doing a final check
on some equipment.

Where's Hollister?

Damajaran and
his people took him.

They took him?

Well, Damajaran
was getting impatient.

You're not worried?


Mr. D is not crazy
enough to kill

the goose that has
the golden eggs.

Does he suspect my
involvement in this?

No. And he won't if
you stay out of sight.

I'll be staying at
Bluebeard's Castle.

What's wrong?

guy I told you about.

The one that
approached me in L.A.

What about him?

He just got off that plane.

He's in the slacks
and the blazer.

Well, what's he doing here?

I don't know.


We'd better find out. Let's go.


Yes, Charlie.

The number here is KL5-4972.

CHARLIE: 4972.


We did get the license number
of the limo that took him in

and a name, a Mr. Damajaran.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR] I'll get it.


KRIS: How did you get here?

I'm registered here, remember?

KELLY: I'll get
back to you, Charlie.

He just walked in.

Well, hello, there.


Hi. How was your trip?

PAUL: Interesting.

I don't suppose
you'd like to tell us

who those people are and
why they keep picking on you.

No, but I've worked
up an appetite

and I know a quaint little
place I'd like to take you.

Are you sure you wouldn't like
to talk about what's going on?


maybe you could persuade
me after a bottle of wine.

KELLY: Well, we did come
to see the pretty places.

You've got a guy. Go for it.

Well, you heard the lady.

See you later.



Well, since they're
going to play...

Back to the beach?
My very thought.

Let's go.


BOSLEY: Kelly! Tiffany!

Hold it, hold it.

Tiffany. Bos.

[LAUGHING] How are you?


What's wrong?

They're chatting with the
lady Paul met on the boat.

I don't understand.

Neither do I.


I don't know.

He approaches
you in Los Angeles,

says he's heard you're
fencing the merchandise

when you said nothing
to anyone, right?

Then he shows up here where
Paul's new companion is staying.

That's a very
disturbing coincidence.

What do we do now?

All right, go back to the
hotel, get on the phone,

see what you can find
out, drop me off at the boat

and I'll wait for
Paul there. Let's go.


KRIS: Oh, it's so beautiful.

PAUL: Sure is.

And the view ain't bad, either.



You noticed.


We're being followed.

I noticed.



AVERY: You found Hollister

and then you lost him again?

We didn't lose
Hollister, Mr. Avery.

He went to lunch with
Kris. We called you.

As soon as they get
back we'll go home

and you can try and
make your deal with him.

I intend to.

A very foolish move, Mr. Avery.

You're already paying
us a good deal of money

to retrieve the
stolen merchandise.

Why not give us
a little more time?

We might save
you a million dollars.

Wait a minute.

What is it?

While I was reading
the local paper,

I saw something.

AVERY: What?

Here it is.

Under "Ships, monthly

"The Greek freighter,
the Lady Scotia,

anchored here 13 days ago."

Now, listen to this.

"Before proceeding
to Los Angeles,

"its departure was
delayed for four hours

"while maritime officials
investigated an incident

"that took place during a
last-minute cargo transfer

from a ship that
was disabled by fire."

The Lady Scotia.

The freighter the statuary
was stolen from in Los Angeles.


What kind of incident was it?

Doesn't say. But
it's a little odd,

don't you think?

Yeah. Very odd, I'd say.

The Lady Scotia picks up
cargo from a disabled ship.

It's probably that burned-out
hull I saw from the plane.

Proceeds to Los Angeles
where the statuary is stolen,

and now Mr. Hollister
comes here,

where it all started.

Hm. What does it mean?

I don't know, but it sure
could be worth looking into.

I think I'm gonna go
down to the Maritime Office

and see what we can
find out about this incident

on the Lady Scotia.

I'll go with you.

Good idea. I'll stay here

and see if I can
persuade our client

to give us a chance
to earn our fee.

See you later. Yeah.


Are you gonna keep your promise?

What promise was that?

You were going to tell
me what's been going on

and who those fellows
are that are following you.


I'll make you a deal.

Mm, I love a deal.

I'll tell you all about me

if you tell me all about you
and why you carry a gun.

I explained it already.

I'm a girl that lives
on her instincts.

And I'm a survivor.

I have a feeling you're
very much like me.

And like you very much.


Shall we?



[LAUGHS] Watch it.

It's, uh, relative.


Yes, it's all in how
we perceive ourselves.

For instance, I could say, uh...

I'm a thief.

And you, you might be shocked.

Then again, I might
say, do you do well at it?

And I'd say very well.

And I'd say you
probably live very well.


I'd say I live beneath my means.

You lost me.

Um... I, uh, squander
my earnings.


Here. Uh, thank you.

Ooh, thank you.

I squander my earnings
on my avocations.

Your avocations? Mm-hm. Hobby.

Your hobby. Which is...?

Delivering people.

Delivering them where?

Wherever they wanna go.

From where?

Oh, places like, uh, Saigon.

Wait a minute.

Are you telling me you
smuggle people from places like...

Well, I don't do
the work myself.

I've become persona non
grata in that part of the world.

But I finance the operation.

With the money you, uh, acquire.

That's it.

See, I, uh, started
in a small way,

doing favors for friends.

And then it caught
on. People said,

"Why don't you do
it professionally?"

But that takes
money, a lot of money.

So I had to find some means

of earning a living
that was more lucrative.

I'm really not sure
how to take this.

Well, I told you, it's all in
how you perceive yourself.

I do what I do, I...
I try to help people.

There's a lot of
satisfaction in that.

You don't approve.

No, I do approve, I do.

It's a marvelous obsession,

trying to stick it to those

who keep stepping on the
little people of this world.


you're probably not
gonna believe this,

but I think I could get a bit
of a rush from that myself.

Why shouldn't I believe it?

Yeah, why shouldn't you?

If it's true,

maybe you'd be interested
in seeing how I dispose of

merchandise that
I recently acquired.

Yes, I'd be very interested.

But you still haven't told me

who those guys are
that are following you.

Oh, that's, uh, a minor
complication in my plan.

Nothing to be concerned about.

Come, join me in my obsession.


Have a flower.


Where'd they go?
No, no, keep going.

Right down this
way. You're on it.

Are you sure?

I'm certain.

I checked with the airline.

His name is John Bosley

and he works for the
Charles Townsend agency,

as does Miss Munroe.




Move this can out of here!

I'll get back to you.

Listen, uh, come on, let's go.

Move it, Wes. We gotta talk.

Haven't got time to talk. Go on.




HENCHMAN: She's a detective.

DAMAJARAN: A detective?

Yeah. Private detective.

She and the two with her.

I talked to my U.S.
contact and he's sure.

I told you not to let
them out of your sight.

We couldn't walk on
water, Mr. Damajaran.

Did you get the
name of the boat?

It was the Black Coral.


Why? What are they doing?

Who knows? Sightseeing?

Or a salvage tug?
Not very likely.

Hollister with a detective.

It just doesn't make any sense.


Maybe he doesn't
know she's a detective.

Huh? In which case we'd
better tell him right away.

There's always
a possibility that

they might have been
employed to find our merchandise.

We could get a
boat, go look for him.

No, no no.

There's a more direct way.

Her two friends will
undoubtedly know

where she and Hollister went.

I'm sure we can persuade them
to share that information, hm?


BOSLEY: The guy at the
Maritime Office wasn't kidding.

That freighter really burned.

TIFFANY: I'm more
intrigued by what happened

after the fire started.

BOSLEY: Yeah. We
better tell Kelly about this.

KELLY: Are you
coming back here now?

Alrighty, we'll wait for you.


Who was that?

Tiffany and Bosley
at the Maritime Office.

Oh, yes.

The mysterious incident
at the Lady Scotia.

Did they come up with any, uh,

piece of information?

Well, while it was anchored
at a place called Water Island,

the captain of the Lady
Scotia thought his cargo hold

had been broken into.

He was transferring cargo
from that burning ship.

Also the night watchman thought
he heard someone fall overboard.

Apparently it was
all a false alarm.

No missing cargo,
no missing bodies.



That must be the food I ordered.


If there's a gun in that purse,

you best leave
it right where it is.

Why would I have a gun?

Perhaps you were just
reaching for a lipstick.

Well, you know,
unexpected company,

a girl likes to look her best.


You wouldn't look
very pretty wearing this.

Like Mother always said,
pretty is as pretty does.

Hm, that's very
amusing, Miss Garrett.

But now to more serious matters.



I don't know why
Kris and Hollister

would take a
salvage tug, or where.

I suppose you're
not detectives, either.

I'm not denying that.

And you're all on a vacation.

Detectives do take
vacations like anybody else.

With an insurance adjuster

who is presently
investigating a major art theft?

Look, I'm telling you,

I don't know anything
about any art theft.

I just happened to meet
Mr. Avery on the cruise.

Just like you happened
to meet Mr. Hollister?

It's a big ship.


maybe you can
reason with the lady.


I once broke a girl's neck
like this with one hand.

It wasn't a very
pretty sight to see.

I'm telling you I
don't know anything

about any art theft.


All right.

All right, I'll tell you.


I'm waiting, Miss Garrett.

I'll tell you on one condition:

You're in no position
to make conditions.

Then find them
yourself, Mr. Damajaran.

This is getting tedious.
What do you want?


I'll take you to Hollister
providing you let Kris go.

And us, of course.

DAMAJARAN: Very well.

I'll need your word on that.

You have it.

Okay, let's go.

Go where, Miss Garrett?

You'll see when we get there.

Don't press your luck.

It's true, Rourke did
break a lady's neck once.

And I must admit I found
pleasure watching it.

I don't think you're willing
to risk losing $5 million

for another moment of
pleasure, Mr. Damajaran.

Miss Garrett, you
have a marvelous talent

for getting right to
the heart of the matter

when the chips are down.

Let's go.

I forgot my glasses.



Oh, it's beautiful.

It certainly is.

PAUL: Kris, have
you dived before?

A little.

Very little.

But my curiosity is piquing.

Good. Get your curiosity
aft and I'll give you a tank.

What is it?

What I've been
trying to tell you is

the lady's not what
she pretends to be.

What are you talking about?





Hey, look.

Is something wrong?



I think that I'm scared.

Scared of what?

A lot of things.

Kris and Kelly...

Do you think that I
belong in this job?

Sure you belong.

You're doing great.

I don't know.

I'm so new to this kind of work,

and they're so good at it.

And I know that Sabrina and
them were really close friends.

Well, of course they were.

You will be too.

Just give them a chance
to get to know you.

Oh, I don't mean that.
They've been terrific.

I love them. They're so nice.

I just wouldn't
wanna let them down.

Angel, you won't let them down.

I bet my life on that.

Now, come on, your insecurity
is giving me a great thirst.

Come on.


Hey, Bos, something's
wrong here.

Yeah. Seems so.

Kelly? Avery?

I don't think they're here.

And I don't think they
went voluntarily, either.

A lady never leaves the
house without her purse.

Dear, God, what now?

Now we start looking for them.

Yeah, but where?
Where do we start?

Wait a minute.


This red mark. It's lipstick.

An X. On Water Island.

Where the incident on
the Lady Scotia took place.

During the transfer of the
cargo from the burning freighter.

That's right. Kelly's
trying to tell us something.

What, that she's been
taken to Water Island?

Seems like the best
place to start looking to me.

I think we'd better get a boat.

Yeah. A fast boat.

Come on.

How fast will the
thing go, anyway?

Is it seaworthy? I mean, I...

Because we're gonna
go outside the harbor.

Cost you $100 an hour.
How about you give me two?

Two? Sure. Two? It's a deal?

And I'll bring it right back,
and thank you very much.


Thanks. Thanks anyway.

Hey, push that off, will you?
Take those lines off of there!

Welcome aboard. Oh, nice.



You're not smiling.

This is serious
business, isn't it?

Is it?

What's down there?

Come on. We'll have a look.


You got no choice. She's a cop.






Of all the people in the world
you could have leaned on,

why this operation?

Knowing what you know about me,

the work we're doing, the
people we're trying to help,


I guess I just didn't
know soon enough.


That must be it up ahead.

Paul, we got trouble. Look.


Get a raft.

Come on.



Looks like your friends
are showing them the way.

KRIS: But they've
got a gun at her back.

Call the anchor, Wes.
We're dead in the water.

I wonder how Damajaran
knew we were here.

He's over there.
I gotta stop him.



She didn't bring him here, Paul.

I know.


I'm going down there.

All right, I'll cover you.


I'll get my gun.




Give me the keys.

The keys. I want the keys now!

Give them to me!

DAMAJARAN: Shoot! Shoot them!

You take the ones in the water.

Cover them!





Drop those guns! Put them down.

You heard the lady.

Drop it!


Shoot them!



KRIS: Hold on, hold on.


There you go. Watch your step.

Watch your step.

Welcome aboard. Ah, thank you.

Thank you.




Wes, keep an eye on
him. I'll get the engine.

KELLY: You see, Mr. Damajaran,

Mr. Hollister's rather
flamboyant theft in Los Angeles

was only a diversion.

All that bronze
and gold statuary

never went to Los Angeles.

It never left St. Thomas.

During the confusion
of the cargo transfer

from the burning freighter
to the Lady Scotia,

Mr. Hollister dumped the
cases overboard right here.

The boxes he dropped
from the helicopter

were duplicate cases.

Filled with, uh, junk
machinery of equal weight.

When'd you figure that out?

Well, there were too
many coincidences.

The burning freighter,
the cargo transfer.

And then when Mr. Damajaran

told me you'd taken
out a salvage tug.

You're very astute.

BOSLEY: You're
rather astute yourself.

That was a nice
piece of diversion

with the very visible Miss Case.

Deliberately being seen with her

and then having her
rattle around Los Angeles

talking with all of those
shady dealers of antique art.

Thank you.

So as you said what now?

Now, uh, we negotiate.

What's to negotiate? I
have what I came for.

AVERY: You're not
seriously thinking

of keeping those things?

Why not?

Well, because they're not yours.

They're stolen.

Have you reported it
stolen to any authorities?

AVERY: No, n-not exactly.

PAUL: Then they're not stolen.

I could tell the authorities
here in, uh, St. Thomas.

You could.

Assuming you ever
get back to shore.

Mr. Hollister, I, uh...

I am prepared to
offer you $1 million

in cash right now.

And we'll just

forget about the whole matter

Elenor Case said she
could get at least 3 million.


What the devil do we do now?


Paul? Yes, my love.

Well, since the merchandise
isn't officially stolen,

why don't you just give it back,

take the million
dollars and walk away?

If I don't?

Then you and I
have a big problem.

And the last thing I want
with you is a big problem.

In case you hadn't noticed,
I've grown very fond of you.

You're all so damn
good at your job,

I suppose the safest thing

would be to take
the million and run.


It was almost worth it.

What that worth it?

The 2 million you just cost me.





Ah, here we are.

Oh, my.

Wow. Mm.

The serial numbers
are sequential.

I'll need a written release.

I planned on giving you one.


And you'll get
possession of this

just as soon as
you signed it. Fine.

I think I have the
forms in the closet.

I would like to propose a toast.

To a job well done.
Yeah, hear, hear.

KELLY: A million
dollars. So pretty.


Here, now. Uh...

you sign both of those, as do I.

And this ends it.

Mm-hm. Thank you.

Now, you may, uh,
take possession.

Well, if the ship's
about to sail,

let's go reserve a place
at the rail, shall we?

Good idea. Good idea.

We got some
champagne. Wonderful.

Have you got confetti?

I'll see you there. Bye.

This is yours. Thank you.

I think this calls
for another toast.

Hm. Oh, uh, what do we drink to?

Uh, justicia ante utilitas.

Justice before expediency?

Uh, I think you
have it backwards.

Oh. I switched around? Mm-hm.

How stupid of me.

No. It could happen to anyone.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

Well, I'm glad
you feel that way.

Here's to switching
things around.

Well, I have to fly. Fly?

Oh, yes, as in, uh, airplane.

Uh, see, I love your company,
but, um, I'm afraid I, uh...

I, uh, haven't the time to
enjoy another pleasure cruise.

Well, you understand. Perfectly.

Good, good. Well, enjoy my room.

I, ahem, usually
have a terrific exit line.

I seem to be fresh out.

Well, you could say
goodbye and it's been terrific.

Yeah. I could say
that. Or maybe...

I hate goodbyes.





I get the impression
you're gonna miss him.

I am.

I wonder what he'll do
with the million dollars.

Oh, I think he'll
do, uh, very well.

So will the boat people in
Malaysia he's gonna help.

It isn't fair, you know.

Well, I no sooner get
here and I've gotta go back.

No. I'll pamper you,
Bosley, all the way home.

Promise? Promise.

You know, I think this
girl has possibilities.

I think so too.

Do you mean that? We all do.

Welcome aboard.

Oh, I finally got nautical.

But you're nice.




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