Charlie's Angels (1976–1981): Season 3, Episode 13 - Angels on Vacation - full transcript

Once upon a time,

there were three little girls who
went to the police academy...

Two in Los Angeles,

the other in San Francisco...

And they were each assigned
very hazardous duties.

[ Buzzing]

But I took them away from all
that, and now they work for me.

My name is Charlie.

Paul?

Paul. We gotta talk to you.

Well, okay. It's
important, Paul.



I'm going to get a cup of coffee.
Why don't you come on in?

See if we can get them
frowns off your faces.

We won't have time for that.

Paul, this is Mr. Dressler.

Why the gun, Mr. Dressler?

You better come with us,
Sheriff. Somethin' you should see.

Tom, what the devil's goin' on?

I think you better
do as he says.

You drive, Sheriff.

[ Kelly] Bosley, level with us.

♪♪ [ Radio: Country] Are
you actually picking up the tab...

for the whole three days in
Arizona, food and lodging?

Well, no, not actually. Charlie's
paying for this little western vacation.

Personally, I feel his actions
are dangerously generous.



Meaning he'll spoil us?

Meaning that a smart
detective is a hungry detective.

- What about
a thirsty detective, Bosley?
- Oh, yes.

- His reckless actions also
include beverages as well.
- [ Sabrina] Milk.

No, no. Dom Perignon
champagne, if you like.

- Oh!
- That is,
provided we can find it...

in this distant village wherein
your aunt and uncle hold forth.

Bosley, they don't
"hold forth." They endure.

My Uncle Paul has been sheriff here since
he retired from the Phoenix Police Force,

and my Aunt Lydia
is the mayor, no less.

Or is it mayoress, no less?

[ Laughs] You mean, she's really,
uh, the chief honcho, as they say?

Yep. She was elected about three
months ago, uh, by a margin of 33 votes.

Very narrow margin.

Not when you consider that
there are 63 voters in the district.

Oh. Sixty-three?

Well, then we are
going into wilderness.

It's not the wilderness,
Bosley. [ Laughs]

No, actually, it's sort of a
retreat for the, uh, older set.

- Older set?
- Mm-hmm.

I would say that the
average age is about 60.

[ Laughing] Oh, wonderful.

Well, you said you
wanted to get a lot of rest.

You really took us at
our word, too, didn't you?

[ Radio: Man Announcing] We interrupt
our program to bring you some local news.

It seems that the tiny village of
Paylon in the Mahonga Mountains...

will host a national celebrity
of sorts for a day or two.

Listen, here's that news
thing about Uncle Paul.

The nationwide manhunt for
syndicate strongman George Camaris...

ended this morning when three forest
rangers accidentally came upon Camaris...

hiding out in a remote mountain
cabin at a place called Cave Rock.

Cave Rock? Uncle
Paul and I hiked up there.

Oh, whee!

- I'm driving.
- Is that what you call it?

- [ Kris] Listen, listen.
- [ Radio] The rangers
are bringing Camaris...

out of the mountains to
the Paylon substation...

where Sheriff Danvers will hold him until
the F.B.I. can arrange transportation...

for Camaris back
to Washington, D.C.

Camaris, of course, is
due to testify before...

the Justice Department
Organized Crime Commission.

And now back to our
program. [ Whistles]

♪♪ [ Country] Big doings
in Paylon. Step on it, Bosley.

Oh, right on. Ahh.

- Right on.
- Into the wilderness!

[ Chattering]

[ Vehicle Approaches]

Get out.

Who are these men? It'll all be
explained to you when you get on the bus.

It'll be explained
to me now. Sheriff.

What I have in mind will work whether
you're on that bus or lyin' dead here.

Don't push your luck.

Exactly what is it
you have in mind?

Like I said, it'll all be explained
to you when you get on the bus.

Move, old man.

[ Women Murmuring]

[ Engine Starts]

I've told you what
to do. Now get to it.

[ Kris] We are now entering
Paylon, Arizona... population, 87.

Looks like the river's down.

Boy, this brings back memories.

Paylon Manor, one of the
two great hotels in town.

Now we're in downtown.

Well, you know, it
looks actually civilized.

Okay, we're gonna go see Uncle
Paul, then we'll go to Aunt Lydia's.

Then we'll check in
to the hotel. Ah-ah-ah.

And then we do nothing.

[ Together] Absolutely nothing.

I'll have to call you back.

Howdy. Fellows,
right? Ed Fellows.

Uh, do I know you? My name's Kris
Munroe. I'm Sheriff Danvers's niece.

Oh, oh.

You know, my uncle wrote me a while back.
He said the county was sending him a deputy.

- You started two months ago?
- Uh, yeah, that's right. Two months ago.

Well, my Uncle Paul has said
some nice things about you.

Well, thank you.
I appreciate that.

Oh, I'm sorry.
These are my friends,

Kelly Garrett, Sabrina
Duncan... Hi. Hi.

John Bosley. Hi.

Uh, you really have
me at a disadvantage.

Your uncle told you about me,
but, uh, he didn't tell me about you.

Oh, well, we're from the Townsend Agency,
and we're here on a few days' vacation.

Oh, models. No, detectives.

You're all detectives?

Well, actually, we're strictly
tourists for the next few days.

Oh. Do you have any idea
where my Uncle Paul is?

Uh, not exactly. He said he was going to
get a cup of coffee about two hours ago,

and, uh, I haven't
seen him since.

Hmm. Well, maybe we
should go by my Aunt Lydia's.

- Maybe he stopped there.
- Uh, no, no. I don't think
he was goin' home.

Well, that's all right. [ Suck Teeth] I
wanna see my Aunt Lydia anyway.

Listen, we have
reservations at the Village Inn.

When you see the sheriff, will you
tell him that he can reach us there?

Village Inn. Right.
I'll tell him. Thanks.

Bye-bye. Bye.

Oh.

Well, Aunt Lydia's is just around
the corner. We might as well walk.

Okay.

No, no, no. I-I cannot agree.

It's-It's-It's completely
out of the question.

I don't see how you
can even consider.

We-We just cannot let
this community... [ Knocking]

Well, it's about time
I saw a friendly face.

Kris! Hi, Aunt
Lydia. How are ya?

Well, I'm... I'm fine.

What are you doing here?
What am I doing here?

I talked to Uncle Paul this
morning. Didn't he tell you?

[ Lydia] No, he didn't.

Well, I called him two
hours ago at the office.

Well, I-I haven't seen him since
he left the house this morning.

Oh, well, that explains it.

- Oh, come on in. Come on.
- Hi.

- [ Sabrina] Thank you. Hi.
- Hi.

Aunt Lydia, these are the people I told you
about... the people I work with and my friends.

This is Kelly, John Bosley,
Sabrina Duncan. Nice to meet you.

How do you do? You
got the coffee pot on?

Uh, yes. Oh, come in.

Uh, this is Joe
Weatherby and Tom Mills.

Hello. How are
you? How do you do?

- I-I hope we're not
interrupting anything.
- Uh...

Well, we're having, uh,

a minor community
crisis of sorts.

Well, nothing serious, I hope.

Oh-Oh, no. It's just that,

well, when one is mayor,

one has to handle
all sorts of problems.

It is time-consuming.

Uh, Kris and her
friends are detectives...

who work in Los Angeles.

Detectives? You
mean, police detectives?

No, private investigators.

[ Weatherby] What
brings you here?

Oh, just a little
rest and relaxation.

Oh. Oh, well, that's nice.

Uh, well, listen,

you all seem pretty busy, and we
haven't even checked in to the hotel yet.

So, um, I think maybe
we should do that.

And I'll call you later, let
you know where we are,

and maybe we can get together
and have some dinner, okay?

- Yes, that would be fine. Fine.
- Okay.

I'm sorry we interrupted.
Nice to meet you. Excuse us.

Nice meeting you, yes. Bye.

Nice to meet you. We'll
see you later. Thank you.

Bye-bye.

[ Sobbing] Oh!

What next? [ Sobbing Continues]

Your aunt seems like a
very nice lady. Sure does.

She's lovely. She sure
seemed upset though.

Well, I guess being mayor isn't
easy, even if it is a little village.

I suppose so. Listen, being in any
executive position can be difficult.

Believe me, I know. [ Laughing]

You know, Bosley,
I think you're right.

You're actually beginning
to look stoop-shouldered...

from the weight of
executive decision making.

You really mean that?
Are they back now?

[ Laughs]

Hi. Good morning.

We have reservations for four
singles. The name is Munroe.

Uh, I don't believe so.
What do you mean?

I mean, uh,

I have no reservation
under the name of Munroe.

Well, I thought you called.

I did. I called this
morning. I talked to a man.

I... I'm sorry. I-I
own this place.

I'm the only man here, and
I have no such reservations.

And besides,
we're all booked up.

This is crazy.

I made a reservation.
Okay, okay.

So somebody made a mistake. We'll stay somewhere
else. There is another hotel, isn't there?

Yeah, there's one...
The Paylon Manor.

- [ Kelly] Great.
- Good. Then no-no problem. Let's go.

Thanks. Uh, sorry
about the mix-up.

[ Chattering] [ Door
Opens, Closes]

Give me the Paylon Manor.

Well, Paylon Manor is about
two blocks down the street.

It's not exactly four
stars, but it'll do. Okay.

Hey. What's he doing?

Hi there. Find your uncle?

Uh, no. What, uh... What
happened to my headlight?

Well, I was, uh, just about
to ask you the same question.

Looked like somebody backed
into you. Probably a flatbed truck.

- I don't think so.
- No?

Well, no. A truck that wide
wouldn't have a bed that low,

and there's not a dent on
the fender or the bumper.

Looks like somebody
just knocked them out.

I suppose that's possible.

Could've happened
last night, maybe.

No. No, I can't buy that.

I would have noticed when
I got in my car this morning.

Sometimes you notice these
things, sometimes you don't.

Well, one of us would have noticed it
before we left Los Angeles this morning.

Which means it
happened after we got here.

[ Fellows] Well, I
suppose that's possible too.

We get a lot of transient kids through
here. There's been some vandalism.

Oh, that's terrific, and a
wonderful way to start a vacation.

- Oh, Bosley.
- Yeah, that's, uh... that's really too bad.

Say, uh, why don't you take it to Bill's
station. He can probably get it fixed for you.

Okay. We might as well hop in the car.
The hotel is across the street from Bill's.

Kelly and I will get us some rooms,
and you guys can get the car fixed.

I'm, uh, really sorry
about this. No problem.

Well, it's not your fault. Keep
an eye out for my uncle, will you?

I'll let you know the
minute I see him. Thanks.

Well, what is it?

They're tourists.

Tourists, just like they said.

But they are detectives? Private
detectives, which wouldn't bother me,

except for the one who
keeps asking for her uncle.

Sooner or later she's
gonna get suspicious,

and then all of 'em are
gonna get suspicious.

[ Sighs] Don't worry.

If they don't leave, we'll
put them out of the way.

That's a little
extreme, isn't it?

Considering the larger
picture, it's nothing.

Well, let's hope they leave.

Let's hope.

Well, it's only for three days.

Oh, well, uh, hello again.

Hi. Mr. Weatherby, right?

Yes. Uh, what can I do for you?

What you can do is
give us some rooms.

Oh, rooms.

Uh, I-I'd love to help you out,
but I'm afraid we're all full up.

Well, your vacancy
sign is still on.

Oh, yes, so it is.

I tell you, you just can't
get good help these days.

Now, that night clerk, he should have turned
that "No" sign on last night when we filled up.

Well, is there
another hotel nearby?

Well, there's Marble
Mountain Lodge...

about 30 miles
back down the road.

- That's all?
- Sorry.

[ Clicks Tongue] Okay, thanks.

Hmm. Oh, listen, by the way,

when you were at my Aunt Lydia's house,
had my Uncle Paul called or anything?

Oh, yes, that's-that's
right. He called.

He... had to go
down the mountain.

- Down the mountain? How come?
- Well, I really...

Auto accident, I-I think. He's
gonna be gone for some time.

Actually, if you head on down the
mountain, you might see him on the road.

Yeah. [ Clicks Tongue] Thanks.

Thank you.

[ Mutters]

You think they believed ya?

Let's hope they
did, for their sake.

They're here now.

Yes, I will. I told you I would.

- Hi there.
- Hello.

Can I help you? Yeah, we
got a, uh, minor tragedy here.

Ah. Somebody back
into you, huh? Yeah.

[ Sabrina, Bosley]
Somebody backed into us.

Well, I, uh... I don't
think I can help you.

- Why do you say that?
- Well, I'll have to check
my stock,

but I'm pretty sure I don't
carry these kind of lights.

- I'll just be a minute.
- [ Sabrina, Bosley] Yeah.

Very nervous fellow. Mm-hmm.

Hello.

[ Mouthing Words]

How'd we do?

Negative. No room. [
Sabrina] You're kidding.

What do you mean? The
vacancy light was on. No.

The night clerk forgot
to turn the light off.

I'm afraid I can't do
you much good either.

You mean, you don't keep
these lights in stock? Sorry.

Well, is there another
station around here?

No, afraid not. I'm not
surprised to hear that.

Well, you see, uh... uh, I
just mostly just pump gas.

The wife and I came up here a
while back to sort of semi-retire.

Mm-hmm. Don't do
much repair work,

which is why my
stock supply ain't much.

You understand?
Yeah. We understand.

Uh, I'm really sorry.

You, uh... You got
no place to stay.

You can't drive out of here
at night with no headlights.

- Kind of ruins your whole day,
don't it?
- Yeah, kind of does.

- Well, like I say,
I'm, uh, really sorry.
- Yeah.

Okay.

- What's naggin' at you, Bree?
- I don't know. Something's strange.

[ Bosley] I know what it is.
They misnamed this town.

They should have
called it Bad Luck City.

Phew. We have really
had a string of bad luck.

- Hmm, I don't think so.
- What do you mean?

I don't know. But
I agree with Bree.

There's something very
strange going on here.

At the risk of sounding paranoid,
I don't think we're wanted here.

- Well, that's crazy.
- Is it?

Kris, you phoned your uncle,
told him you were on your way.

When we get here,
he's disappeared.

Suddenly, there's no place in town to stay.
Our headlights are mysteriously broken.

They subtly tell us to drive back
down the mountain before dark,

meaning now. I got it.

- You got what?
- There are no women.

Well, what does that mean?

It means there are
no women here.

Kris, you said that this was a retirement
community for elderly couples, right? Look at that.

There's a whole bunch of men, but I
haven't seen a woman since we got here.

So what are we
supposed to do about that?

I don't know. Maybe they're all
inside at a Bake-Off or something,

but it seems a
little funny to me.

What do you think? Does
it seem strange to you?

- You know the place. It's your uncle.
- Real strange.

What should we do?

I think we'd better ask my
Aunt Lydia some questions.

[ Line Rings]

Listen, it's me again. I
did just what you told me,

but they're beginning
to figure it out.

How? What did you tell 'em?

I didn't tell 'em anything. I
did exactly what you told me,

but they're going over
to the mayor's house.

You gotta believe me.

Just great. What's wrong?

They're gettin' suspicious.

Listen, it's all gonna
go down pretty soon,

and I'm not about to
let them screw it up.

Where are they now? On
their way to the old lady's house.

Okay, that does
it. Let's go. Right.

[ Engine Starts] [
Tires Squealing]

[ Tires Squealing]

Aunt Lydia doesn't wanna see us.

Well, she's going to.

There must be somebody there.

Well, try again. [ Knocking]

Never mind.

Aunt Lydia, we
have to talk to you.

What's wrong?

I think you should
tell us what's wrong.

I don't know what you mean.

[ Sighs] Where's Uncle Paul?

He's down the mountain.

We don't think so.

Mrs. Danvers, we
know something's wrong.

There is nothing
wrong. Believe me.

- Aunt Lydia, we know
each other too well.
- Kris, please.

Mrs. Danvers, maybe
we can help you.

You can't help.

Your just being here, being
who you are, asking questions, it...

It endangers all of us.

But-But why? What's going on?

[ Lydia] I can't tell you.
But you've got to leave.

We're not going anywhere
until you tell us what's happening.

Hey, look out!

[ Grunts]

He's dead.

[ Crying]

Aunt Lydia, who were
those men? Who were they?

You don't... You don't
know what you've done.

Why were they shooting at us?

You just don't know
what you've done.

They're both dead.

Oh, my God.

You've just...
killed Uncle Paul...

and... others.

What are you saying?
You're not making any sense.

Mrs. Danvers, what do you mean?

Please. If-If we're gonna
help you, you've gotta trust us.

Oh.

All right.

See, there... was a
man... A prisoner...

Being brought here today by
the Forestry Service people.

Well, yeah. You
mean, George Camaris?

Well, you already know about it.

We heard about it on the
radio. What about Camaris?

Well,

those two men out
there and three others...

kidnapped your Uncle Paul.

It was this morning. It must have
been right after you telephoned.

And then they killed
Deputy Fellows.

That wasn't Fellows? Listen.

They killed Deputy Fellows,
and they took his uniform,

and they took over his office.

And those two men
stayed in the office.

And the other three...

took your Uncle Paul on a bus...

and most of the
women in the village.

Why? What do they want?

They wanted the prisoner that the Forestry
people were going to bring here today.

- Camaris.
- Yes, they... they wanted to get him...

out of the country before the F.B.I.
people came here to pick him up.

You mean, if they deliver
Camaris, they'll return the hostages?

Yes.

Well, it seems that we've stumbled
into a very high-level operation.

[ Kelly] It also seems like
we've rather messed things up.

[ Crying] Well, you...
It wasn't your fault.

You... You couldn't have known.

Yes, it was our fault.

But we could fix it. I
know we could fix it.

No. You couldn't.

It's not possible.

Why? Why isn't it possible?

Because when the three
men took your Uncle Paul,

they took one of his
portable radio units.

And unless that man out there...

called them by 4:00,

they had instructions
to destroy the bus...

and everybody on it.

No wonder this whole
town is so terrified.

Mrs. Danvers, where
have they taken the bus?

We don't know. We-We
know nothing about it.

That's why I've been doing
exactly what they told us to do.

But 4:00? That's less
than two hours away.

[ Kelly] And how many square
miles of wilderness area to cover?

[ Sabrina] Too many. Unless...

- Unless what?
- Wait a minute.

You said they had one of Uncle
Paul's portable radio units, right?

Yes. And you have one of Uncle
Paul's other radio units here?

Yes. We always keep
one for an emergency.

Okay, Aunt Lydia. Do
you have some old clothes?

Old clothes? Yes.

Why? Go get 'em.

Pull over here, Bosley.

Okay, wish me luck.

Yeah, do your thing.

Okay, Big Uncle, this
is Sweet Christmas.

[ On Radio] This is Sweet Christmas,
Big Uncle. Do you read me, honey?

Big Uncle, this is Sweet Christmas.
This is Sweet Christmas, Big Uncle.

Do you read me? Do you read me, honey?
Coming at you out there in radio land.

Let me know you're
there, sweetheart.

Hey, Big Uncle, I need to hear your
sweet, lovin' voice. Do you read me?

What the devil is that?

I don't know. C.B.-er,
I guess. What?

C.B... citizens band radio.
There are tons of 'em around here.

Hey, Big Uncle. It's
Sweet Christmas.

I'm pushing me a semitruck
full of grapefruits down to Tucson.

You out there, Big Uncle?

C.B.-er, all right. What are
you talkin' about, old man?

Citizens band operates
on different frequencies.

How could she get on your radio?

It's impossible.
Nah. It's possible.

Up here in the mountains, the
signal bounces a lot and splits.

You get what they
call "rarmonics."

Come on in. This is Sweet
Christmas. Do you read me, Big Uncle?

- You out there?
- What does
"Sweet Christmas" mean?

Well, that was our nickname
for her when she was little,

and she visited us in Phoenix.

Go ahead.

Hey, Big Uncle, you sly old fox. You haven't
forgotten Sweet Christmas now, have you?

Or maybe you're trying
to forget me on account...

you don't want Big Mama
to catch you playin' around?

Well, now, Sweet Christmas
is just gonna stay cool,

and I'm just gonna keep at you
until you let me know you're out there.

Come on. You out there, Big
Uncle? Let me know you're out there.

Listen, could she hear
transmissions that we get or make?

Not if I tell her to
get off the frequency.

Then do it. You be careful.

[ Clears Throat]
Sweet Christmas?

This is Sheriff Paul Danvers
of the Paylon Sheriff's Station.

You read me? Sheriff who?

Sheriff Danvers.

And, uh... [ Clears Throat] I'm here to
tell you you're using an illegal frequency.

Oh, I'm using 940 kilocycles. Isn't
that what I'm supposed to be usin'?

Uh, you're probably hittin'...

a 1640 bounce off Mill Mountain.

I don't understand that, Sheriff.
Can you clarify that for me?

I'm sayin' you should pay attention to
the 1640 bounce off of Mill Mountain.

1640.

Best thing you can do to stay out
of trouble is just to shift frequency.

You understand what
I'm saying, missus?

- Or you want me
to slap a fine on you?
- I hear what you're saying,

and you won't have no more
trouble with Sweet Christmas.

So I'll catch you on the
flip-flop. 10-4, good buddy.

Good.

1640... That's a
fire-brush road...

that intersects about 15 miles above
here on the way to Mill Mountain.

Okay, that's where they've taken
the bus. Bosley, what time you got?

I got, uh, 3:20. Oh!

Let's go.

Oh. They must've
locked it after they went in.

Ram it, Bosley. Hide!

[ Tires Squealing]

Good boy.

Ten minutes to
4:00. Still no word.

You better hope your
people did like they were told.

Oh, I'm sure they have.

They're old. No fight
left in them, right?

You better hope they're not
so old they try somethin' dumb.

No. You people
hold all the cards.

By 4:00 or soon after,
you'll get your call, so relax.

Everything'll go your way,

'cause it usually
does with you people.

You talk too much, old man.

Something's gone wrong.

Relax. Don't tell me what to do!

It's 10 after 4:00. The call was
supposed to come no later than 4:00.

Maybe your watch is
fast. Don't be stupid!

Listen, like I said, you
people hold all the cards.

Nobody in that town's
gonna cross you.

The delay is probably with
the Forest Service people.

They probably got delayed coming down
the mountain. Give it a few more minutes.

My orders said 4:00.

You mean, you'd really
kill 25 helpless people?

Twenty-six.

Five more minutes.

What can it possibly hurt to
give 'em five more minutes?

Okay. Okay, five more minutes.

And then if the call hasn't
come, you'll be the first to get it.

I wouldn't have
it any other way.

Okay, slow down, Bosley.

Fire-brush road 1640 ends
about two miles up the road.

It's 10 minutes after
4:00. We're too late!

Come on, Aunt Lydia. My Uncle Paul is
one of the smartest men in the whole world.

I've always though so. I know he's buying
us some time. We gotta keep believin'.

You think we can get into the
group without being noticed?

Well, we got to if we're
gonna make a move.

Hey, there it is!

Aunt Lydia, you stay here. Bosley, if
it goes down, you get her out of here.

I will. No, he won't.
I'm going with you.

I'm sorry. Under no circumstances.
I want you up here where it's safe.

[ Lydia] Kris, I know
those women personally.

They're frightened.
They could give you away.

But if I go first, I can tell
them what's going to happen.

It'll be better for you,
and it'll be better for them.

I'm sorry. It's just too
dangerous for you.

Why? Because I'm
too old? I didn't say that.

Well, you didn't have to.

They're my friends,
and my husband is there.

I can't do any less
than my best for them.

I... I have to take as
much risk as they're taking.

If I don't, it makes me as old
and as helpless as you think I am.

You know what? She's right. I mean, if
those ladies panic, we haven't got a chance.

We're wasting time.

- Okay, come on.
- [ Sabrina] Here we go.

[ No Audible Dialogue]

Okay, what's the plan?

Well, we each have to get near one of the
guards before any of us can make a move.

Well, I can stand closer scrutiny than
either of you three, even in those getups.

So I'll go in and tell
the women what to do.

All right, Aunt Lydia. But
please, please, be careful.

I never saw a man I
couldn't handle yet.

Go get 'em.

Where'd you come from?

I beg your pardon?

What were you doing in there?

Why, none of your business.

Certain things that a
lady likes to keep private...

under the worst
circumstances, young man.

If you had any brains,
you'd know that.

What do you think's gonna
happen to us? It's terrible.

[ Gasps] Don't move a muscle.

Be quiet.

Pretend that I've
been here all the time.

Everything's
going to be all right.

Attagirl, Auntie.

Let's spread out and go in from different
angles. Okay, I'll cover you from here.

All right.

[ Chattering]

[ Woman] We better be brave.

[ Chattering Continues]

[ Woman] Watch it.

[ Coughing]

[ Coughing Continues]

- What do you want?
- [ Coughing Continues]

Everything is
going to be all right.

God, where is Paul?

[ Chattering]

Okay, time's up, old
man. Get 'em on the bus!

[ Grunts]

Ooh-hoo!

Freeze! Ow.

[ Grunts]

Hold it!

You better unlock me, or that
old lady is liable to blow you away.

The way I see it,
you got three choices.

You can give it all up, you can make us
shoot you, or we can let them have at you.

- I give. Keep 'em away from me. Keep 'em away from me!
- [ Sabrina] Okay.

Pity.

Anyone here good
at tying things?

My granddaddy lassoed
a horse thief once.

Face down and arms behind you.

And he hung him too. I'll
show you the knots he used.

Okay. Let's go.

Nice and slow. Nice and easy.

Let's go join your friends.

Paul! Oh, honey!

[ Laughing]

Oh!

Are you all right? I'm
fine, honey. How are you?

Me? Oh, I never
felt better in my life.

Oh.

[ Charlie On Speakerphone] I take it
your aunt and uncle are all right, Kris.

Ah, they're both
just fine, Charlie.

When Uncle Paul got back to the office,
the Forestry Service was waiting there...

with the federal
prisoner George Camaris.

Well, I'm relieved to hear
everything worked out.

Oh, and this morning, when the
F.B.I. came to pick up the prisoner,

there were all kinds of reporters
and photographers there.

We might get our picture in a
newsmagazine. [ Charlie] Sounds exciting.

[ Charlie] Not too much excitement
for the elderly set at the village, I hope.

That "elderly set" can be quite a
forceful group when riled, Charlie.

Very forceful.

[ Charlie] Well, from what you've told me,
your Aunt Lydia showed great courage, Kris.

Oh, she was incredible, Charlie.

There is a problem
though. What's that?

- When it was all over with,
Aunt Lydia got depressed.
- Depressed? Why?

Well, when things got back to
normal, everything seemed a little dull.

Now she and Uncle Paul are
having sort of a family dispute.

Nothing troublesome, I hope? No.

She just thinks that being mayor is boring.
She wants Uncle Paul to deputize her.

- She's not serious?
- Oh, yes, she is.

Hey, I think that's
a good idea, Kris.

Your uncle could deputize
maybe two or three of those ladies,

give them assignments by
phone, let them do all the work,

and he just lays
back and relaxes.

That is an absolutely
preposterous idea.

I agree, Bosley. Totally absurd.

- Never work.
- No, of course not.

I don't know any woman that
would accept something like that.

Mm-mmm. Do you?

Absolutely not. [ Laughs]