Charlie's Angels (1976–1981): Season 2, Episode 5 - Circus of Terror - full transcript

A circus owned and operated by an old fashioned thinking gypsy, has been plagued by some unexplained accidents. His son turns to Charlie for help and so the girls go undercover, Kris working for the knife thrower, Kelly as a stunt motorcycle rider, and Sabrina working for a mime.

CHARLIE: Once upon a time,

there were three little girls
who went to the police academy,

two in Los Angeles...

the other in San Francisco,

and they were each assigned
very hazardous duties...

but I took them
away from all that,

and now they work for me.

My name is Charlie.


Drum roll... Da-da-da-dah!

The Barzak Circus
is proud to present

the only man to do

the plunge somersault

The Great Wallensky.

Louder drum roll.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I direct your attention

high above the center ring...

the Great Wallensky.

Come on. Will you hurry up?

Shut up. This isn't easy.



Get an ambulance.

He's not dead.

Thank God for the Gypsy luck.

We can't depend on
Gypsy luck anymore, Pop.

We gotta do something.

We have to call the police.

No, I handle this myself.

Pop, you're going
to lose the circus.

No police!

CHARLIE: Angels,
the Barzak Circus

has been plagued
by these "accidents"

for several weeks.

There have been
mechanical failures.

Dangerous animals have somehow

gotten out of their
cages at night.

Hmm, just what I always
wanted... A tiger in my tent.

Charlie, if the "accidents"

weren't accidents,
why no police?

The owner, Yanos Barzak,

is, believe it or not,
a genuine Gypsy.

It seems they have
a code of honor.

They prefer to solve
their own problems.

But our client, David
Barzak, Yanos' son,

has reason to believe
that whatever's going on

is too big for mere
gypsies to handle.

Do you have any idea
what is going on, Charlie?

Well, possibly one of
the big circus combines

is trying to swallow up
the Barzak operation...

Keep it from opening
the new season.

What, cut down
on the competition?

It's only a theory, Sabrina.

And what complicates matters

is that Barzak is
known to be a, um,

shrewd businessman.

Or as sister Jill would say,

he's stepped on a few toes.

More than a few.

We've worked out
covers for all of you.

Bosley will fill you in.

Charlie, would you
run a computer check

on all the big circus combines?

Find out which one
is being hurt financially

by the Barzaks?

It's already in
the works, Kelly.



Charlie, what's that
whistling sound?

That's a model train, Kelly.

The history of railroading
has always fascinated me.

I'm doing a little research.

You hitting the old
books again, huh, Charlie?

Well, actually, I'm
working with a tutor.

A historian?

Well, sort of an engineer.

Name of Casey.



SABRINA: Feminine
gender, Mr. Townsend?

Sabrina, how did you guess?

It has been said that, at times,

you have a one-track
mind, Charlie.

By the way,

don't worry about
your cover stories.

Historically, circus people
never ask many questions,

except my father.

Well, this is
the, uh, first time

I've ever gone on a job

where I was undercover
from one of the clients.

I'm really sorry about that.

It's just that he
would really be upset

if he thought I
brought in outside help,

and especially
since you're all...

Women? Ah... very 19th century.

Nineteenth century?
No, 18th century.

You're in for a big surprise.
Wait till you meet my father.

Oh, but you're not
anything like him?

Well... Let's say I'm
an updated Gypsy.

I like these kind of clothes,

I like liberated women,

and I also fix a
terrific Chicken Kiev.


Mm. Gypsy style.

Well... I love Chicken Kiev.

What's Gypsy style?

Well, first, you steal
a chicken, then...

All right, lady, move it!

You move it, turkey.
We were here first.

Maybe we should, uh, move it.

He thinks he can push me
around just because I'm a woman.

No way.

Look, lady, you better back off,

before I break your
boyfriend's legs.

You think he's afraid of you?

As a matter of fact...

What do you think
we should do now?

I think you should scream.

As a matter of fact,
if you don't, I will.

Oh... All right, hold
it. That's enough.

She started it.

And I'm stopping it.

Who are you? What do you want?

I'm looking for a job.

A job?

Doing what?

My act. I'm Go-Go Garret.


She jumps over things
on her motorcycle.


Oh, no. I don't hire no
woman to do motorcycle stunts.

Do you have something
against women?

No, no, as long
as they wear skirts

and stay in kitchen,
where they belong.

Now, don't waste my time.

Listen. How'd you like
a swift kick in the shins?

You know, if you risk as
much with your motorcycle

as you do with your mouth,

that should be
interesting to watch.

So give me a try.

What do we got to lose?

All right, you
set up your stunt.

Reed, Otis, you help her.

Me help her?

You heard what I said.

I'll move the truck.


You remind me so
much of Nadia, my niece.

I've wanted to be a clown
ever since I was a little girl.

"A clown bleeds greasepaint

"and breathes sawdust,

but the tears he cries
are little bits of his heart."

My grandfather
used to tell me that

when I was a little boy.

It's true.

I tell it to all my apprentices.

Uh... Does that mean
you'll take me on?

Yanos doesn't pay very
well... even for a master mime,

such as myself.

I'll talk to my Dad.

Listen, I have a couple
of new acts to check on.

I'll see you in a while.

Um, I don't care
about the money.

I just... I just want
to be a clown.

Then I'm sure
Yanos will hire you.

All right. Thank you.



So, your name is Kris Munroe,

and you want a job too, huh?

You got it.

What do you do?

I'm doing it.

Doing what?


I'm a show girl.

I could be a terrific
ringmaster's assistant.

I'm the ringmaster,
and I work alone,

and have enough show girls.

Well, maybe I could
ride an elephant

or hang from the
high wire by my teeth?

I learn real fast, and
I have great gums.


Well, yeah.

What good are strong teeth
if your gums cave in, right?

Oh, please? I
really need this job.

I mean, like, so I
can keep on eating.

Maybe I have position
for a girl with your talents.

Yes, come.

Don't worry. He is very good.



Helmut, I think I have
found you an assistant.


Pleased to meet you, Miss...

Uh, Kris Munroe.

Miss Munroe, I would
be much pleased

to throw my knives at you.

His English is not very good,

but you get the point.

You still want the job?

Well, yeah.

I'd like to make
one phone call first.

I'd like to call my mom.

She might be able to
collect double indemnity

if I come out of this
with a split personality.

As you wish...

and now, I must
continue my work.

Hey, how did it go?

Well, you're looking

at the new apprentice mime.

Great. Tarloff liked you?

Well, he didn't throw rocks.

You know, he was

one of the finest
mimes in Europe.

He spent most of his life
behind the Iron Curtain,

so he's not so well-known here.

He's a very sweet man.

Oh, by the way,
Kris got herself hired

as assistant to
the knife-thrower.

Doing what?

He throws knives at her.

You're kidding!

Don't worry. He's
great. He never misses.

You mean he never hits.

Right. He never hits.

Okay. How are Kelly
and Bosley doing?

Not so easy.

My pop decided to test her.


Okay, fellas.

I'm going to go over
and get them now,

so you guys make one last check,

and just be certain that
nothing's loose, okay?


Hey, we get rid of Wallensky,

and three new acts show up.

Well, maybe the
old man hired them,

but they haven't performed yet.

Yeah. You think maybe
we can make them

change their minds?

We can try.

Let's make a few adjustments.



Somebody get a doctor.

Are you okay?

I'm okay.

You're sure?

I'm okay.

Maybe we should call the doctor.

I'm okay, really.

Don't worry.

Well, I worry about my
insurance premiums.

Why you bring
defective equipment

to my circus?

There was nothing
wrong with the equipment.

You check that ramp
before you make the run?

Of course I checked it.

Look, I don't need this.

Put the things
back in the truck.


We're getting out of here.

Wait a minute. You can't leave.

Watch me.

What about the job?
Don't you want it?

You saying I got it?

You still want it?

I want it.

All right.

All right. You got it.

One thing.

You check the
ramp next time, huh?

BOSLEY: Some of the clamps

that hold the ramp
section together

were loosened.

Anybody help you set it up?

Yeah, a couple of
workers from the circus.

Otis and, uh, Reed.

What about them?

Very possible.

But why?

I don't know.

We better have Charlie
run a check on them.

Yeah, well, I
already put a call in,

and Charlie is worried.

Too many things
around here to go wrong.

Kelly was just lucky.

Does Charlie think
we should pull out?

Well, he said we can,

if we think it's too rough.

Well, I'm for staying.

I've got a score to
settle with those two.

We took the job.

Besides, I don't want
to disappoint David.

Oh, like that crazy
son of a Gypsy, do you?

Cooks me Chicken Kiev.


And let's not forget
about all those people

that'll be out of a job if
the circus goes under.

Okay, it's unanimous,
then. I'll stay too.

My mama didn't raise
no quitters neither.

Here, have a grape.


Kris... Yeah?

Hey, who's that?

That's the executioner.

The who?

My boss, the knife-thrower.

Well, he was looking
at you very suspiciously.

Maybe he's measuring
me for a new knife.

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Hi, cutie!


You got a name?

Bosley. John Bosley.

"Bosley. John Bosley."

Nice ring to it. Married?

Not lately.

Me neither.

Oh, I'm Tinkle Belle.

Tinkle Belle.

Oh, I love the way it sounds

when you say it,
Bosley, John Bosley.

Uh, look. Just Bosley.

John Bosley.

That's what I said.

"Bosley, John Bosley."


See you around, big boy.

Don't forget Tinkle Belle.

Say hello to Peter Pan.

"Bosley, John Bosley."

Hey! Watch where you're going!

Oh, I'm sorry. I...

That's okay. Got a light?

Uh... yeah. Yeah.


Thank you.


Uh, how...

How do you do that?

Do what?


I thought so.


That was a terrific dinner.

You'll make somebody
a great little wife


Thank you.

You sound just like my pop.

AS BARZAK: "Cooking
is woman's work."

Yes, well, cooking is just
one of my many failings.

He also hated it when
I went to law school.

"A Gypsy lawyer...

Next we'll have
honest fortune tellers."

Do you know... Do you
know why he wanted me

to handle the books?

No, why?

So he'd have someone
who was trustworthy

to cheat for him.

You're kidding.


But we do have some battles.

Sometimes I have to do
things without telling him.

Anybody ever tell you

that you're too pretty
to be a detective?

Too pretty to be a detective?
Yeah, I think somebody did.

It was my ex-husband.

Yeah, well, he was right.

Oh, you think you should
have hired a man for the job?

No. I mean, I don't think so.

I don't know. I don't know.

Listen, maybe I'm not
as liberated from my dad

as I think I am.

Well, maybe I'm not
so liberated either.

Confession time?

No. No. I think
equality is everything.

It's just sometimes...

Sometimes the
old-fashioned way seems

more attractive?


Like, maybe next time,

I steal the chicken
and you do the cooking?


I'll do both.


Good evening.

Yes, it is. A very good evening.

You make a nice couple.

Well, uh... he's
a very nice fellow.

And you are a flower.
Beautiful, delicate.

You're very European.

Guilty as charged.

Absolutely no crime.

Get some sleep.
Tomorrow, we work.

Good night. Good night.








What is that?

A snake. Very large,
very mean, very ugly...

What's going on?

Well, either I attract
very strange types,

or somebody put
a snake in my bed.

Oh, that's terrific.
Are you okay?


What is this?

It's a caftan.

Fine son Yanos has!

He wears the skirts,
she wears the pants.

Lucky you didn't jump into bed

without turning on the light.

Well, it wouldn't have
been one of my better nights.

Listen, you can't
stay here tonight.

Why don't you stay with me?


No. You can have the
bed. I'll take the couch.

On second thought,

I'll take the couch.
You take the bed.

Hey, you suppose somebody
is trying to tell us something?

Yeah, maybe we
better check around.

Maybe somebody saw
someone coming in here.




Excuse me.

Did you see anybody go in
the tent over there tonight?

I don't gossip.

Wait a minute. I
did see somebody...

The new girl who lives there.

Thanks anyway.

Don't be a stranger.




Bosley, John Bosley!

Somehow I knew your feet

would find this pathway tonight.

One of the girls found a
snake in her tent tonight.

What's new?

In my book, every guy
who works in this circus

is a snake... Except
you, of course.

No, no. I mean a real
snake with rattles and teeth

and paisley skin.

No kidding. Is she all right?

Well, she's recovering.

Oh, I'm so glad it wasn't you.

I'd hate to lose you,
now that I've found you.

Yeah, that would be a shame.

I feel a great spiritual
closeness to you.

I don't think we'd ever be able
to overcome our differences.

What differences?


Any luck?

I don't know.

I heard Yanos and
Helmut talking in German.

Anyway, I think
they were arguing.

I followed Helmut
into the cook tent,

and I found this...
it's his fingerprints.

Good work.

What else have we got, right?


Unless we can get
the snake to talk.

Look, you're a brilliant guy.

I can sense these things.

Sometimes I read people's minds.

Good. You should
try reading mine.

Well, come to my tent, then,

and we'll have a few drinks.

Look, you've got a
terrific personality,

but... And we're the same sign.

And we're the same sign,

but I just can't see
us going through life

with me carrying around
a box for you to stand on.

Why do I need a box?

KELLY: Kris, do you think Helmut

could be the brains
behind Reed and Otis?

KRIS: Well, somebody is,

and I don't think Otis and
Reed are smart enough

to pull this off by themselves.

Whatever this is.


Kris, it's us! Come on!

Help! Help!

Somebody tied it down.

Help, somebody!

Come on.

Open it. Open it.

Come on, we got
to get out of here.


Help! Help!

Help us, somebody!


Help! Help!

Help us! Help!


Help! Help!

Get the fire extinguisher!

Are you okay? What happened?

Are you all right?


How do you think
the fire started?

Somebody tied
the tent flaps shut,

struck a match.

I might have known
you would be there again

when there is trouble.

Thanks for being so
concerned, Mr. Barzak.

You are okay, right?

Oh, yeah. We're fine.

I wasn't worried about you.

I was worried about the, uh...

KELLY: Insurance.

Yeah, I know. By
the way... thanks.

What the hell are you doing?

You crazy drunk!

You almost killed
those two girls

with that fire!

What are you talking about?

I didn't start no fire.

Don't jive me, Otis.

Now, if you didn't
set it, who did?

Look, we were paid

to put the old man
out of business,

not to kill nobody.

Well, this thing is
getting out of hand.

I think we'd better have
a little talk tomorrow.

All right... maybe
the three of us.

Definitely the three of us.

BARZAK: Everybody not
working, get out of the tents.

Go help the rolling
staff. Performers, go help.

KELLY: Someone knows who
we are, and why we're here.

Very possible.

More than possible.

You almost cuddled
up with a snake,

we almost got barbecued.

If we're way off-base,

why is someone trying
so hard to discourage us?

You know, I sure
wish I spoke German

so I'd know what
Yanos and Helmut

were arguing about.

Yeah, well, you
might have heard them

talking about who
Helmut really is.

What do you mean?

Well, the fingerprints
on the glass

do not belong to Helmut Klaus.

There is no one by that name.

And Charlie's
running those prints

through Interpol's
computer right now.

Is there any way

to tie Helmut to Reed and Otis?

Well, Reed and Otis are ex-cons.

That's all Charlie
could turn up on them...

but the clown, Anton
Tarloff, had a niece

who worked for
Barzak a long time ago.

Nadia? Yeah, yeah.
Nadia was her name.

He's mentioned her.

Yeah, but did he mention

that she was injured in a fall

and eventually died an invalid?

No. That's awful.

Well, does Charlie
think there could be

a feud between
Barzak and Tarloff?

Well, they're both
Gypsies, aren't they?

And Gypsies have

a very strong code of honor.

Does Yanos know
who Tarloff really is?

BOSLEY: Probably not.

Tarloff is a very common name

in the European circus world,

and his niece had her accident

a long time ago.

He doesn't seem like a man

who could hate that much.

Yeah, but there's more.

You see, the Barzaks stand

to make an awful lot of money

if they sell the circus.

But if they don't,
sooner or later

they're going to go belly-up,

and they'll lose everything.

Yanos doesn't care about money.

The circus is his life.


So the big winner,
if Yanos did sell...

would be Yanos' son.

David? No, no.

There is no way
that I will believe

that David is
behind all of this.

Well, he wouldn't
be the first one

who hired detectives

to throw the
suspicion off himself.

We certainly aren't
lacking possibilities, are we?

Okay, uh... where do we start?

Pick a number.

You're a fast learner.

I can't tell you

how much you
remind me of my Nadia.

Nadia is your niece, right?

You mentioned her before.

Is she still with the
circus in Europe?

No, she had an accident.

Oh... Who told you
I was from Europe?

Uh... well, your... Your accent.

Yes, the accent.

I don't even think I have one,

but of course, if you
say so, then I must.

Well, it's just a little one.

Did you work with the
Barzaks over there?

Some members of my family did.

Let's go on to the
next part of the act,

which is when I challenge
my reflections to a duel.

BARZAK: Everybody
will take their lunch

before the dress rehearsal.


Oh... Yeah. Hmm.

This is really wonderful.

I owe you an awfully lot

for giving me this chance,

and Mr. Barzak too.

You owe Mr. Barzak
only one thing...

a good performance
at each of his shows.

En garde... my alter ego.

I saw Helmut go
in the cook tent.

Yeah, he's probably
hitting the Schnapps again.

You keep an eye on him for me.

Let me see what I
can find in here. Okay.

BARZAK: All right, you people.

We've got work to do.

Get to it.

Audience, we get later.
Workers, we need now.

HELMUT: What are
you doing, Miss Munroe?

Oh, I was just looking
for my costume.

Ah... you are looking
for your costume?



Here it is.

Put it on.

We practice.



You know what? I've been
trying to lose a couple of pounds.

Couldn't we do this tomorrow?


Now... Okay.
I'll, um... I'll, uh...

Uh, listen.

Did you happen to see
Helmut come this way?


Yeah, well, which direction?

What am I? A compass?
You just missed him.

He and the girl were
heading toward the main tent.

Oh no.

Oh yeah.

Oh... Thanks a lot.

What were you doing in my tent?

I told you. I was just
looking for my costume.

In Europe... I was
always watched.

I came here to get
away from spies.


You think I'm a spy?
Do I look like a spy?

Then what are you?

I'm just a girl who
was looking for a job.

That's all!

Look, you've got to believe me.



Am I interrupting something?

We were just practicing.

A challenge, is that not right?

Just practicing.

Auf wiedersehen.

Wow, you look white as a sheet.

He just scared two
months off my suntan.

Look, I'll tell you.

Why don't you go change,
and I'll wait for you?

As soon as I stop shaking.


BARZAK: If you were not a woman,

you have great
makings for a man.

Is that a compliment?

Ah, you women! Always
picking things apart.

I take it back.

Too late. I heard you say it.

Yanos... Why do
you fight the odds?


One of these days,

there's going to
be a bad accident,

and you're going
to have to sell out.

Oh, no. Yanos never quits.

I surprised to
hear that from you.

Isn't it true

that all the small
circuses like yours

are folding up?

They just can't compete
with the big shows.

They quit.

I tell you about Yanos.

The Barzak Circus,

they make people happy
for a hundred years.

Many people tried to
take it away from us...

The Turks, the Germans,
the Communists,

but nobody does,
the family keep it,

and nobody make me quit now.

Now, look. What
kind of man would I be

if I don't give to my son
what my father gave to me?

But Yanos, I don't think
David wants the circus.

Aw, he's just,
uh... How you say?

He does his things.

No, no, no. He is
going to get sense.

He's going to come back.
He's going to work hard.

He get his hands dirty like you.

Ha! You should be my son.

Oh! Yeah. Now, I know
that's a compliment.

Tarloff. It's time
we had a talk.

Yes, I've been expecting you.

All right. What's going on?

That fire was no
part of the plan.

Yeah, them girls would
have been burned up,

this whole place would
be crawling with cops,

and talking about
those new girls,

they ask a lot of questions.

In fact, that's what they
do mostly is ask questions.

I fear you are correct.

I don't believe they are
what they claim to be.

You think they might
be cops or something?

Barzak could have hired them
to investigate the accidents.

Oh, wait a minute, man.

This whole thing is
getting out of hand.

Why don't you give us
the five grand, we'll split?

Because you
haven't earned it yet.

Barzak must be destroyed.

Why? Because of
some crazy Gypsy feud?

I honor my obligations to Nadia.

She is dead... and
Barzak is responsible.

I thought you said

she died in a fall or something.

Barzak gave her
inferior equipment.

It cost her life.

It sounds to me like
some ordinary accident.


Barzak was too ambitious.

He should have
been more careful.

He should have cared
more for his people.

He is responsible.

All right. All right. I
don't care about Barzak.

You blame him if you want to,

but I do care if those
dames are cops,

because we could all
end up in the slammer.

Now, I tell you what.

You give us half the
bread, we're gone.

You think running will
make those girls forget you?

It would only prove your guilt.

Terrific. We stay,
we're in trouble.

We leave, we're in trouble.

We have no choice.
We are committed.

Well, then, what you're saying

is we gotta get
rid of them, huh?

All three of them?

Yes, I'm afraid that
is what I am saying.

Okay... Reed and me'll
take care of the blonde

and the one with the motorcycle.

Good. I have a
special surprise planned

for my new apprentice.

They look exactly
alike, don't they?


Sometimes even I
can't tell them apart.


Who would blame me?

BARZAK: All right,
after the rehearsal,

take all wardrobe to
trailer for cleaning or repair.

Everything must be
perfect for opening.

Handlers for ponies, elephants,
assemble in middle area.

Please give ponies
more check rein

and keep them together.

Did I do something wrong?

No. No. Are you nervous?


That's not true.
I'm scared to death.

Remember, it's only
a dress rehearsal.

You'll be fine.

You ready?

Excuse me. Sorry.




What happened to you?

Someone hit me.

Who? Who hit you?

I don't know. I couldn't see.

I think it's just about time

you and I started
leveling with each another.

Now, look. I know who you are.

I am Helmut Klaus.

Then you are wearing

somebody else's fingerprints.

You are Bruno Schmidt.

You are an East
German circus star

who disappeared in Montreal,

curiously enough,
at the same time

that the Barzak
Circus was there.

No, no. I am Helmut Klaus.

Now, look, I don't
want to send you back.

I just want to know who hit you

and where is Miss Munroe.

I don't know. I don't
know where she is.


That's my music!

Let's go. Ja.

Watch it, Helmut.

You wouldn't like
me with short hair.

Helmut, what's wrong with you?

This has been
fun, but I gotta run.


Okay, where's Reed,

and who else is in it with you?

I don't know what
you're talking about.

Helmut, he's all yours.

Thank you.

[CHOKING]: Wait!

Ease up. I'll tell you.

It's Tarloff.

One of the swords is real.

He's going to kill her.

This way.



He couldn't do it.

Come on. Come on.

Well, I'm glad you chose
the right sword, Tarloff.

Are you?

Yes, I am.

What's going on?

You look so much like Nadia.

I just couldn't do it.

Couldn't do what?

What is that?

Well, you never

would've had to
diet again, babe.

Your friend, Kelly,
you'd better warn her.

When she makes the
jump, they're going to kill her.





All right!

Are you hurt?

No, I'm okay.


Bravo, honey! I mean, bravo!

Pretty good. Fantastic!

Oh, that was great,
huh? How about that?

But the name "Tarloff,"
I didn't recognize it.

He blamed you for Nadia's death.

And it was only an
accident, nothing more.

He is a fine performer.

I am truly sorry.

So am I.

What about Helmut?

BARZAK: Ah, Helmut.

Helmut came to me in Montreal.

I know what it is
to be a refugee.

He is hiding with us

until political asylum
can be arranged.

Why didn't you tell me?

You? You would
call the authorities.

Pop, did I do so bad
when I called them?

First time you do
good without me.

May I have the first dance?

Wait, wait, wait.
I am patriarch.

First dance is my privilege.

When you grown-up father,

then your privilege.

Would you dance with Yanos?

I'd love to.

Shall we show them how to do it?

Sure, why not?

Well, Bosley, looks
like it's just you and me.

And me, Bosley, John Bosley.

Hi, big boy.