Charlie's Angels (1976–1981): Season 2, Episode 11 - Magic Fire - full transcript

CHARLIE: Once upon a time,

there were three little girls
who went to the police academy,

two in Los Angeles...

the other in San Francisco,

and they were each assigned
very hazardous duties...

but I took them
away from all that,

and now they work for me.

My name is Charlie.

[♪♪♪]

Forgive me for a moment,
ladies and gentlemen.

No matter how long
you've been in this business,



and believe me,

I have been in it since
the discovery of fire,

one tends to get...

a little dry in the throat.

Ah... Now, that's
what I call wet water.

[♪♪♪]

When I was a mere tad,
ladies and gentlemen...

my mother said to me,

"Wendell, you're going
to set the world on fire."

[WENDELL CHUCKLING]

But little did she know.

[RINGING]

[HISSING]

[PHONE RINGS]



He's right here, Charlie.

CHARLIE: Wendell?

Sorry I was delayed.

That's quite all right.

Your Angels have
been most hospitable.

He's been doing
magic tricks, Charlie.

I can't help myself.

When I find an audience

as delightful as this,

I'm driven to perform.

Have the police been
bothering you again, Wendell?

Yes, early this morning.

Last night's fire was the
third in as many weeks.

And all at Fashion
City warehouses?

WENDELL: So I understand.

The police are convinced
that the "Magic Man"

is at large again.

Who's the Magic Man?

An almost legendary torch

who's believed to be responsible

for the more than a
dozen insurance fires

throughout the country
over the past few years.

Very little is known about him,

but it's rumored that he
was a professional magician,

hence the nickname.

You see, my dears, I
am cursed three times.

I am a magician.

In my act, I create fires,

and I've had the
great misfortune

to be in some of the cities

where the Magic Man
has worked his mischief.

None of that is
evidence, of course,

but I can see where they might

be suspicious.

Oh... I'm sorry.

Do you mind if I smoke, ladies?

Uh, really, I... Oh, go ahead.

Thank you.

Thank you. It's quite all right.

I have my own light.

Oh!

How'd you do that?

I can't believe that!

SABRINA: Hey, captain,
take a break, will you?

Hi, Alex.

You been to any
good fires lately?

How are you doing, Sabrina?

Pretty good.

Say, are you working
on a case? Yeah.

Then I've got
nothing official to say.

Hey, listen, Alex.

Three fires in three weeks.

All in Fashion City

warehouses or facilities.

Official or unofficial,
that's arson.

Yeah. You know it.

Yeah. How was this one set?

Don't know.

There are no clues.

Magic Man?

Off the record? Yeah.

We think so.

Well, who do you think
he was working for?

Well, the guy who
owns Fashion City

is Joseph Watson.

Now, here's something
you might find interesting.

Yeah?

Now, about two
years ago, in Detroit,

a garment warehouse
was burned down.

Now, arson was never
proved, so insurance was paid.

Now, the guy who
owned that warehouse,

and Fashion City,

is the same Joseph
Watson... Joseph Watson,

and you think he
hired Wendell Muse?

I think we've talked enough.

Hey, come on, Alex.

Look, would a man
who was clever enough

to devise an undetectable
method of arson

go around the country
doing a magic fire act?

It can't be Wendell Muse.

It's too obvious.

Maybe.

Maybe he wants to be obvious.

Maybe he gets some kind of kick

out of rubbing our faces in it.

I don't know,

but he knows we can't touch him

until we figure out
how he starts the fires.

SABRINA: What if Alex is right?

Wendell is guilty?

Just using us for smoke screen?

Yeah, in a manner of speaking.

[DOOR OPENS]

KRIS: Hi, Bos. Hi.

You look like you've got
something up your sleeve, Bos.

Ooh. Well put.

Listen to this.

There is a magician

by the name of the Great Danzini

who is performing
at the Magic Castle.

Now, he likes to live high,

but he is not drawing
as well as he used to.

As a matter of
fact, he's so broke,

he may have to hock his rabbit.

If I have to hear one
more magic joke...

Being in debt is
hardly a crime, Bos.

True.

But I talked to his agent.

Now, before his act soured,

he used to play all
over the country...

Atlanta, Nashville, Pittsburgh.

As a matter of fact,

it was the very same
tour as Wendell Muse.

And let me guess.

Their bookings were
all around the time

that the Magic Man was up to...

No! Don't say it!

Up to his old tricks?

She said it.

[KRIS CHUCKLING]

At the very same
time as the fire

in the warehouse in Detroit.

The one that was
owned by Watson.

Hmm... Well, listen.

If Wendell and Danzini
are both appearing

at the Magic Castle,

maybe we all ought to
materialize there ourselves.

SABRINA: Okay.

That's a good idea.

You concentrate on that,
and I'll concentrate on Watson.

I wonder what it'll take
to... interest Mr. Watson?

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

Monsieur Watson, please.

[WHIMPERING]

Coco, Coco, Coco. Be still.

Come here, my darling.

Who shall I say is...

I am Maxine Myrtille
of Chez Roger, Paris.

One moment, please.

Merci.

Coco, Coco, Coco.

There's a Maxine,
uh... Myrtille. Myrtille.

Maxine Myrtal.

Myrtille.

Maxine Mertal from
Paris to see you,

Mr. Watson.

Mr. Watson will be right out.

Ah, merci beaucoup.

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[COCO WHIMPERING]

Coco, Coco.

Ah... Hmm.

[DOOR OPENS]

Bonjour. Bonjour.

Mademoiselle Mertal?

Myrtille. Myrtille.

How can I help you?

I believe I have a
mutual acquaintance,

Monsieur Jules
Deveaux, is that not true?

Yes, I've met Jules,

although I don't know him well.

His Lucerne collection
was extremely successful.

Ah, yes, it was. I was
the head designer.

Ah, Coco.

I have a proposition
to make to you

that I think you will find

very interesting.

Well, I'd be
delighted to hear it.

Ah, merci beaucoup.
Ah, merci, merci.

Coco, Coco, come darling, Coco.

And so you see, monsieur,

I am in this country
for only a short time

and I look for a,
a... how do you say?

Uh, the outlet for my designs.

You've come to the right place.

Ah... We'd be most happy

to consider your designs.

They're most impressive.

Ah, merci.

In fact, they're
almost identical

to some of Jules
Deveaux's most recent work.

Almost identical.

Uh, but, of course.

Jules and I have
similar feelings.

Ah.

Excuse me, monsieur,

you have been most amiable,

but I must ask what
felicities you have to offer.

Felicities?

Oh, I am sorry.

My English is not very good.

Um... Uh. Uh... Facilities.

That is the word, yes?

Oh, yes. Facilities.

You'll want an
office, I imagine?

Oh.

I should be most grateful.

Well, I'll arrange it at once.

Ah, merci.

As long as you can produce
designs such as these,

mademoiselle...

Oh, I think we're going to have
a very profitable relationship.

Oh, merci beaucoup.
Say "merci," Coco.

[COCO YELPS]

Good night.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

from the Pantheon
of Mysterioso...

the Flying Coffin.

As you can see, my
assistant, Mary Ann,

is a very lively girl,

and yet she will appear

to be right at
home in this coffin.

I hope you'll be comfortable
in there, my dear.

You should be...

for it is a luxury
model last used

by the greatest ghoul
of all... Count Dracula...

BOSLEY: The Great
Danzini likes to live big,

but his act isn't drawing.

Then let us proceed.

Gently.

And are you comfortable?

MARY ANN: Yes.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

[HISSING]

[ENGINE REVVING]

Captain Summers.

Do you honestly think
I'd be stupid enough

to set four such similar fires

one right after the other,

and then expect the
insurance company

to pay up?

No one's accusing you
of anything, Mr. Watson.

Ah, bonjour. Bonjour.

Pardon. Bonjour. Bonjour.

Who was that?

A designer from Paris.

Somehow she seems familiar.

Captain,

I want that arsonist
caught more than you do,

to prove I didn't hire him.

Okay, Mr. Watson.

I'll give you a call
if anything turns up.

Hello, fishy.

Fishy, fishy.

[DOOR OPENS]

Ah, Monsieur Watson,
what has happened?

Your warehouse has
been burned by the fire.

Arson is what's happened.

We're the target of
some kind of maniac.

Those fires were set on purpose.

But who would do such a thing?

I called Paris.

Jules Deveaux is in Iran.

He can't be reached
for three weeks.

Of course. This I knew.

Did you?

I spoke with his secretary.

She remembered

the Maxine Myrtille
who worked there

as having dark blonde
hair and blue eyes.

Ah.

I remember her most clearly.

Too heavy and very unpleasant.

Also extremely jealous.

You mean she lied
to me just out of spite?

I see.

You think I am the imposteur?

Bien.

I will take my designs

and give them to someone else.

Uh, no, no, no, no, no.

There's no need to do that.

Look, I don't care who you are,

or how you got those designs.

As long as you can
deliver, we'll do business.

All I want to say
is, be careful.

Merci beaucoup.

Au revoir.

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

Tell Romero she's leaving now.

Hey, let me give
you a hand with that.

Why don't you take the front?

Where are we taking this thing?

Around the corner.

Okay.

Now, just up against the wall.

Oh, thanks.

Hey, you work with
the Great Danzini, right?

I admit to it.

My name's Kris.

Oh, you're with Zolton the...

Sorcerer. Sorcerer.

Mary Ann.

Gee, it must be terrific
working with the Great Danzini.

It beats, um...

topless dancing and coal
mining, if that's what you mean.

Yeah, but he's so cute.

Oh, he agrees with you.

Oh, that bad, huh?

Bad?

He has to buy a new
mirror every week.

They die from over-work.

Here, let me help you.

Look, honey.

If you want my job,
don't let me stop you.

Hey, wait a minute.

I didn't mean
anything like that.

Oh... Hey, forget it.

Look, this guy has got
me very edgy, you know,

and, well, sometimes, I just...

I don't know
when to turn it off.

What's he do that's so bad?

Well, for one
thing, he's insulting.

The other night, he
comes up to me and says

"If you don't go on a diet,

the Flying Casket will
never get off the ground."

Of all the nerve...

He's like, um,
possessive, you know?

I mean, he always
wants to know where I am,

and then he goes off
himself for days at a time.

Do you have any idea where?

No idea.

He's, um... suspicious.

He's practically paranoid

someone'll steal
one of his lousy tricks.

See you around, kid.

Excuse me.

Could you tell me
where they... never mind.

Open Sesame.

My contacts in the spirit world

tell me your name
is Elizabeth Hart.

Your father was Malvolio,

one of the great magicians.

I think your contacts
in the spirit world

checked at the front desk.

Ah, alas, I'm found out.

I saw you in the
audience last night.

Did you enjoy the show?

It had a certain...
style, I suppose.

The illusions however were...

Were not like your father's.

One great illusion
is all I need.

One sensational trick

whose secret is
known only to me.

Houdini had his "Water Torture,"

your father,

the "Collapsing
Pressure Chamber."

We know, of course,
how Houdini's was done,

but the secret of
your father's illusion

died with him.

If your contacts
in the spirit world

were any good,

they would tell you
Malvolio kept a diary.

You know?

The secret of the Collapsing
Pressure Chamber?

Several men have
died trying to duplicate it.

My father left strict
instructions to me.

Only a man with the
talent, the drive necessary

to become another
Houdini or Malvolio

will ever know the secret.

You are looking at that man.

Prove it.

Oh, now, you are
Kris and I am Zolton.

All right. Now,
don't be nervous.

Zolton.

ANNOUNCER: And
now, ladies and gentlemen,

Zolton the Sorcerer and
his lovely assistant, Kris.

Zolton. Zolton.

It's wonderful. Let's go.

Okay.

Thank you, thank you,
ladies and gentlemen.

I am Zolton the Sorcerer,

and this is my
lovely assistant, Kris.

[PIANO CHORD STRIKING]

[WHISTLING]

Please, please.

Sir, if you wish to hail a cab,

would you please go outside?

Thank you very much.

Now, I, Zolton, and
my lovely assistant,

Kris... [PIANO CHORD STRIKING]

Are going to attempt

to tap the very
recesses of your minds,

thereby demonstrating for you

the wondrous powers

commonly known as
ESP or mental telepathy.

Now, I have here...
Oh, well, I had it...

Oh.

Thank you.

You see, I have here before you

what is known as a
common Halloween mask,

impossible to see
through with human eyes.

Now, I, Zolton,

and my lovely assistant, Kris...

[PIANO CHORD STRIKING]

She will be walking amongst you,

asking for small articles

that you have on your person.

Kris, proceed.

Uh, Kris?

Kris?

KRIS: Oh, yes,
I'm ready, Zolton.

Oh. Splendid.

I am holding in
my hand an object.

What is it?

Seems to be still very foggy.

Well, just... take your time.

Aha! You are holding a watch!

Absolutely correct.

All right. Now, concentrate.

You are holding a
glass of orange juice?

A man has a glass of
orange juice in his pocket?

KRIS: No, no. Um...

Do you believe this act?

Um... please be right.

You are holding a pen.

Absolutely correct.

Are you ready, Zolton?

Zolton!

Zolton.

And now you should be able
to see clearly through that fog.

I can,

as if I were not wearing
a Halloween mask at all,

but I were wearing
a pair of glasses.

All right, Zolton.

Don't blow this one.

BOSLEY: Aha! A handkerchief.

Ah, and who have we here?

Well, it looks like two
very shy gentlemen.

Your wallet, please. Would
you give me your wallet?

No, we don't want to.

Oh, it looks like they're going
to need a little encouragement.

A little encouragement, please.

Lovely.

Your wallet?

Thank you.

All right, Zolton,
are you ready?

Fire away.

All right, concentrate
now, Zolton.

I will try to steer you
in the right direction.

You are holding a side of beef?

No. No, no.

No, you're heading
down the wrong street.

Well, in that case,

you are holding
a driver's license.

Absolutely correct.

Thank you. Hey, give me that.

Mister... Thomas
Romero of Encino.

What do you think you're doing?

You're out of your
mind, you know that?

Thank you for being
such good sports.

Weren't they wonderful,
ladies and gentlemen?

Thank you.

Thank you one and all.

Kris... Come up here.

You were wonderful.

Listen, I'll be with you
as soon as I change.

Okay. I want to go check
on who those guys were.

Okay.

[WHISTLING]

BOSLEY: So they packed
the showerhead with sodium.

Then when she
turns on the water,

it ignites.

It's very neat and
very dangerous.

The Magic Man.

Oh, no, maybe not.

Charlie got a report

from some of his
people in the Midwest

and they say

that there was an
unidentified corpse

discovered in that
warehouse in Detroit.

The one owned by Watson?

BOSLEY: That's right.

And the underworld there

believes that the body
was that of the Magic Man.

But why would
someone go after me?

Well, I guess just
to frighten you.

Well, they did that.

Hey, Bos, you find out anything

about those two fellows
who were following me?

Yeah, as a matter of
fact, I've got it right here.

Let's see one of the guy's
names was Tommy Romero,

small-time crook

with a very
undistinguished career.

Works with a partner
named Mel Gross.

Oh, and get this.

They were both recently
gainfully employed as shippers

at one of Joseph Watson's
Fashion City warehouses.

Watson again.

Fashion City's closed on Sunday.

I think I'll go over there
and take a look around.

You onto something, Bree?

Maybe.

The guard told me, that
before the fire started,

he thought he
heard a phone ring.

Well, I could have sworn,

the other night in
the warehouse...

I could have sworn I
heard a phone ring too.

And?

I don't know. Maybe
there's some connection.

DANZINI: You look
truly magnificent.

Nobody'll ever accuse you

of understatement.

Oh, on the country.

In your presence,

I find words are inadequate.

Rather than the compliments,

I'd prefer a glass of wine.

Well, of course.

Whatever the lady desires.

For you...

A glass of wine.

I gathered that's what it is.

Well, you're certainly blasé.

I mean, where did it come from?

How could I have
known in advance

what drink you preferred?

You asked the bartender.

Look, this seems a little silly.

Rather than trying to impress
me with such simple tricks,

why don't you tell
me about yourself?

Tell me how you
developed your act,

where you plan
to go from here...

I do want to get
to know you better.

Do you?

I'd like to see what
you've been working on.

Well, of course, you realize

there are some
unscrupulous people

on the fringes
of our profession.

They wouldn't hesitate
to steal new ideas.

Surely you don't
think I'm one of them?

No, of course not,
but they might see me

demonstrating my
illusions for you.

Look, let's just forget it.

Now, wait. Please.

Where's the fire?

I beg your pardon?

Did I say fire?

I meant flower.

Is this one of the
incredible illusions

you were afraid I'd steal?

Now, I really didn't mean that.

Look, we could work
out a private showing.

I have a place up
in the mountains

where I go from time to time

to get away for a few days.

Perhaps we could go there.

You're being a little
obvious, aren't you?

Well, I hoped that that
would be refreshing

in a magician.

I'll think about it.

One moment.

Please do.

Charming.

May I?

Hi.

Hi.

Where's Kelly?

She's upstairs, working
on the not-so-great Danzini.

Okay, listen.

We don't have magical fires.

What we have here is
a very clever arsonist.

You mean you know
how the fires were started?

Yeah.

By telephone.

Telephone?

Uh-huh. Someone stuffed
a pyrophoric compound

into the bell chamber...

All right, all right. Pyro-what?

You shouldn't
say words like that

in public, Bree.

Oh, come on, Bosley.

A pyrophoric compound.

I checked with a chemist.

It's mostly phosphorus.

Is that all it takes?

It's a little more complicated.

You see, you got
the phone, right?

Right.

Now, you put this phosphorus
in the bell chamber, okay?

You fix a wire in
the bell chamber.

The phone rings.

A little electrical charge

hits the phosphorus.

Now, then, the phosphorus
is easy to ignite, right?

But it spreads up too quickly,

so you have to fill
the rest of the phone...

with this.

That's, uh... that's gun cotton.

That's what put me
onto the whole thing.

Well, that explain, then,

why the arsonist
was never around.

All he had to do

was just dial the phone number.

Yeah...

he could have done
it in another city.

Yeah, but could he be onstage?

Well, if the arsonist

is Wendell Muse or Danzini

then the phone call

has to somehow be made
while they're performing.

I mean, that's been
the pattern so far.

That's right.

So then, what we have to do

is catch the
arsonist in the act.

And there's another telephone
already rigged at Fashion City.

That means he
plans one for tonight.

You know what?

There's a pay
telephone backstage.

I don't know how he does it,

but if it's one of
our magicians,

I'll bet you that's
the phone he uses.

Yeah, well, I took
the phosphorous

out of the phone
at Fashion City.

I'll be there when it rings.

If we're lucky,

maybe we'll catch
ourselves a ghost.

DANZINI: I will
now perform for you

the superb illusion
that I have performed

only once before,

for the crowned heads of Europe
during a command performance.

Observe the
handkerchiefs closely.

Carefully, and now... Voilà.

[♪♪♪]

[LINE RINGING]

Hello?

Mr. Watson, this is Ed Gage.

I thought you'd want to know...

That French woman's
been in here, poking around.

She's in your office right now.

Thanks, Ed, but it's all right.

You just go on home now.

Okay, Mr. Watson.

Anything you say.

Are you ready, my dear?

Ready, Danzini.

Then let us proceed.

Gently.

Are you perfectly comfortable?

MARY ANN: Yes.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Kris?

Bull's-eye, Sabrina.

It was Mary Ann.

What do you think you're doing?

You're ruining my act.

Not just yet, mademoiselle.

Monsieur, why do you
have the... the gun?

Cut the accent.
You're not French.

What have you got in here?

Of course!

I thought it could be a
woman's voice I heard,

phoning me, whispering to me

that the Magic Man had
come back from the grave.

Oh, but I knew
that was impossible.

There's no where to go.

Look, I don't know what
you're talking about, okay?

I pretended to be French

so that you would
look at my designs,

all right, but I don't know
what you're talking about.

Now what's the
harm in that, huh?

Back in there.

I'm telling you,

I don't know what
you're talking about.

I do not know what
you are talking about.

MARY ANN: The Magic
Man's name was Larry Webb.

He was my husband.

He was also an arsonist.

Yeah...

He, uh, he got down on himself.

He... he wasn't making
it in show business.

So he started setting
fires for money.

He was good at it.

What's the tie-in with Watson?

Larry left an envelope
with me to be opened

in case anything
happened to him.

In it was a list of clients

who had paid Larry

to start those
insurance fires...

and the last name on the
list... was Joseph Watson.

Then your husband was that man

that was killed in
that fire in Detroit.

Yes.

Watson tricked Larry somehow.

He trapped him
in that warehouse,

and then he set it on fire.

I know it.

I know it... but I
couldn't prove it.

But, see...

I knew how Larry
started the fires.

I wanted to ruin Watson...

to destroy everything
he owned with fire.

Look, I don't know
who you think I am,

but I did not set those fires.

Now, now... you
gotta believe me.

I really don't know
what you're talking about.

The Magic Man... Who are you?

His sister?

No, I... No.

His wife? His girlfriend?

No!

He must have... He
must have told you,

or left a diary or something.

Listen, I am a beginning
fashion designer

trying to get a break.

I don't know a Magic Man.

He did a job for me once...

and then he tried
to blackmail me.

It was his mistake.

Now, look.

Don't move or I'll kill you.

I'm not going to move, okay?

I'm sitting back.

What is this? What has she done?

Wait a moment.

What's going on here?

I'm afraid you're gonna
have to find yourself

a new assistant.

You're not Malvolio's
daughter, are you?

Afraid not.

And the Collapsing
Pressure Chamber?

Collapsed.

Well, I wonder why
we haven't heard

or seen from Sabrina?

She's probably
still at Fashion City.

You got a dime, Bosley?

Ah... Oh...

You're taking this
magic stuff too seriously.

WATSON: Something
like this, I should think.

Yes.

That's very ingenious.

Now the police

are going to find
their arsonist.

It's busy.

Well, we'll just wait a minute

and call back.

Okay.

When that phone goes off...

This whole place
will go up like a torch,

and you're gonna go with it.

You know, it's really a pity,

because whoever you are,

you're very pretty.

Well, I'm going to Palm Springs.

I'll establish my
presence there.

Oh... I'll call you.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

That's weird.

It rang a couple of times
and then it went dead.

Well, did someone answer?

Uh-uh. It didn't
sound like that.

We'd better get over there

right away. Come on.

[♪♪♪]

KELLY: The building's on fire!

BOSLEY: Yes, I
want to report a fire.

Randolph and 16th,
Fashion City offices.

I've got it.

Okay, on three. Ready?

BOTH: One, two, three.

Sabrina? Sabrina!

Hold it. She's in there.

Wait a minute. I'll get
the fire extinguisher.

Coming! Okay...

[SABRINA COUGHING]

Is she okay?

I don't see any burns.

She took in a lot of smoke.

KRIS: And Sabrina's
death on smoking.

CHARLIE: Well done, Angels.

Joseph Watson was picked
up by the police last night.

Whatever happens to him,

I'd say Mary Ann Webb's revenge

was a success.

Well, I hope that's
a comfort to her

in prison.

Oh, one more thing, Kris.

I did want to compliment
you and Bosley

on that marvelous
mind-reading act.

Oh, thank you, Charles.

Charlie... You were there?

Of course.

I wouldn't have
missed it for the world.

I gave Kris my pen

and Bosley got it right away.

Goodbye, Angels.

Uh, uh, wait, Charlie! Charlie?

SABRINA: Okay.

What did he look like?

I don't know, it was...
it was really dark.

Well, try to remember, Kris.

Well, I was nervous.

SABRINA: Oh, come on.

[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]

Was he tall? Was he short?

What color was his hair?

Well, I don't remember.

You got to think.

You got to think
a little harder.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.
He gave me his pen...

Come on. Bosley, you
always do this to us.

Why can't you remember?

Calm down, calm down.
What'd he look like?

I don't know.

[♪♪♪]