Charlie's Angels (1976–1981): Season 1, Episode 22 - The Blue Angels - full transcript

The Angels suspect a police officer of working with two recruits in an operation to extort money from a massage parlor after learning of a mysterious death at the facility, so they go undercover as recruits & vice squad assistants to investigate.

Once upon a time,

there were three little girls
who went to the police academy.

And they were each assigned
very hazardous duties.

But I took them away
from all that,

and now they work for me.
My name is Charlie.

vicinity Eighth and Grand

respond to reported disturbance
at Paradise Massage.

This is Lieutenant Fine--
on my way.

I'll show you who's boss!


Burt, are you crazy?
What the hell are you doing?

I had to.
He came in here drunk.

Slapping and pushing
the girls around.

I pull a gun.

You didn't have to kill him.

I had to defend myself.

Stupid fool.
Who's going to care about you?

I care.
Fix it, doc, right? Fix it!

That's what I pay you for.

I can't--
I can't fix murder, Burt.

Well, you better.

I mean it!

Because if I go down,
you go down.

If I fall, you fall.





Lieutenant Fine,
Vice Division.

It's okay.

What happened?

Well, when I came here,
she was on the floor.

This one put a slug
in that one.

When he turned to me,
I had to waste him.

She's alive.
Get an ambulance.

Maybe she'll be able
to tell us what happened.

Yeah, maybe.

CHARLIE: This one's
for your old boss, Angels.

Police Chief Fenton.

Chief Fenton?

Isn't he the one
who detested the idea

of police academy rookies'
feminine gender?

Another bastion of chauvinism
crumbles, Sabrina.

What a lovely sound.

Why does the chief
want our help, Charlie?

He needs someone from
outside the department, Jill.

Maybe he's having trouble
inside the department, Charlie?

Yes, in the Vice Division.

Would this have to do
with all the publicity

the massage parlors
have been getting?

Exactly. Yesterday
there was a shooting at one--

the Paradise.

Two men were killed.

One of the girl employees
was seriously injured.

I read about that.

Is it true that

a lot of those places
are a cover for prostitution?

Possibly. The point is,
every time Vice pulls a raid

they come up empty.

So someone's tipping someone?

Either that or those girls have
really started giving massages.

No. I don't think so,

Sabrina, Bosley has arranged

for you to go
into the Vice Division

as a visiting advisor.

From where?

The Phoenix Police Department.

There's your cover story.

Kelly, I suggest you see
what you can learn

from the girls
who worked at the Paradise.

Meanwhile, I'll pull some
strings at City Hall,

set Bosley and Jill up as
the Paradise's new management.

running a massage parlor--

Now, that's one fantasy
I've never considered.

Don't lose your head, Bosley.


Charlie, what's that
clinking sound?

Just another bastion
of chauvinism crumbling, Kelly.

Good luck, Angels.


Well, yeah, I think that
would be okay.

Yeah, uh-huh.

Yeah, well, whatever you say.

Well, yeah, okay.



I see you're all moved in.

Well, yeah, I got my nameplate.
I got my badge.

Just point me
to the bad guys.

We're hoping you can point us.
We keep missing them.

Sabrina Duncan,
Howard Fine.

How do you do?

Sabrina, you'll be
Lieutenant Fine's assistant.

He's in charge
of this section.

Rogers tells me you've been
working the Phoenix area.

Yup. Six months
of crooks and cactus.

She was working undercover.

She closed down about
a dozen massage parlors,

worked at the DA,

helped with interrogations,
gathered witnesses,

got prostitution convictions--
The whole package.

I'm impressed.

A lot of luck.

Well, see if you can bring us
some of that luck.


I'll see you later.

Well, how's Cowboy Bill?

Cowboy Bill?

Afraid you lost me on
that one, Coach.

Bill Mather,
Phoenix Vice Squad.

Oh, Mather!

I think he quit
about a year ago.

Pushing pencils now.

He's a good man.
I worked with him back East.

He's smart
to get out of Vice.

I remember he told me once,
years ago,

you walk in the gutter
long enough,

you're going to get some on you.

I'll try to step lightly.

We got a tip this morning

that a massage parlor
called Telly's

opened up last week,

and they might be bringing
in a few hookers.

Shall we take a look?

Well, if you
could wander in there

and convince them
you're a lady of the night...

All right.

Um, I'll need
to wear something

that's a little more

Oh, there's a terrific number
in wardrobe.

Blue-fringed pantsuit.

You'll love it.


Hi! How've you been?

Do we know you?

Paradise Massage.

I worked there
one day last month.

You don't seem
familiar to us.

I don't?

She's got great hands,
but a lousy memory.

You remember me?

Actually, uh, no.

Listen, I'm a little worried.

The cops might find out
I work for Paradise

and, uh, pick me up
and start asking questions.

So, who arranged for your bail?
If I need help who do I turn to?

Listen, we don't know
who sprung us

and we don't want to know.

Want some taco?

Thanks. Might ruin
my trip to Tijuana.

Since you've got us covered
downtown, Charlie,

we don't want to be closed down
until we make contact.

Oh, yes, Jill is slipping
into her role nicely.

Say, by the way,

since you've been
complaining of a sore back,

why don't you drop down
for a massage?

Oh, it wasn't your back
that was sore.

Well, in that case,
why don't you send the lady?

No? All right.
We'll be in touch later.

Charlie has "arranged" for us
to get a business license.

What do you think?


Oh, excuse me, sir. We won't
be open for about an hour.

If you would care
to take a walk.

Unless you have a cramp
or something.

I am Breshnik.

Oh, good.
Good for you.

I own this building.

Oh. Breshnik.
Our new landlord.

Well, how nice
to meet you, sir.

Not to touch Breshnik.

You never touch?

Breshnik bought this
to be "Temple Breshnik."

Now, it's filled with pagans.

Oh, you're a man
of the cloth.

Not cloth-- Leaves.

This was Breshnik's dream.

All bodies should wrap
themselves in leaves.

That is how it was
from the beginning.

In the beginning,
who had clothes?


So what did they wear?

Let me guess-- Leaves?

Actually, at first, tiger skins.

But where are the tigers today?

Oh, so now
you're back to leaves.

You laugh at Breshnik?

No, no. Not so far.

But, now, my temple,


filled with cloth worshippers.

Breshnik is not pleased.
You have my lease?

Oh, yes, of course,
Mr. Breshnik!

Here we are.

Someday, all bodies
will be in leaves!


You know, actually,
it's not such a bad idea.

If we had our shirts made out
of tobacco leaves,

when we got tired of them,
we could smoke them!

I think you already have,



This is Doc.

Doc! What's happening?

That help Rogers
was bringing in

turns out to be a lady.

So? We got no worry.

No, we got worry.

Her credentials are too good
to ignore.

Yeah, well, steer her down
some blind alleys.

I'd like to, but I can't.
Rogers has her as my assistant.

Oh, well, uh,
what do you want?

What I want is the days
to go smooth as oil.

I want the children to smile
and the fools to keep dancing.

And what I got with her
this close to me

is big trouble.

So here's how it goes--

She'll walk in the backdoor
of Telly's

in about an hour
wearing a blue-fringed pantsuit.

I want it
to look like an accident.

And it should be quick

and as painless as possible.

Doc, uh, I don't like it--

Killing a woman.

You want to live well?
You need one of two things:

A rich daddy,
which you don't have,

or a noteworthy
lack of conscience,

which you do have.

You made your decisions,
you tasted the wine,

now it's time to pay your dues.

Do it quick and do it right.

It's early.

It's early.
They're not open yet.

Try the back door.

Once I'm there, then what?

Well, we'll take it
one step at a time.

Let's call this one,
"Try operating from the inside."

Oh, I'll write
if I get work.

Very pretty girl.

Shut up!

I don't like this
any better than you do.





Come on!
Let's get out of here.

Blue Ford, late model,
license plate J-N-J-3-2-2.

Okay, I'll hold.

Charlie is running some instant
numbers through the DMV.

You only got a quick look
at the license

and you don't have any idea
who was in the car.

No. Maybe it was a couple
of angry fashion designers.

Then there was
more than one person.


Sounds like
you were set up, Bree.

The thought
crossed my mind, yeah.

Who knew you were
in that alley?

Well, only Lieutenant Fine
and his whole section.

What about Fine?

What about him?
He's a good cop.

He's been on the force
a lot of years.

Kelly, did you talk to the girls
from the Paradise?

They're out on bail
and very untalkative.

What about that one
who was injured, Natalie Sands?

She's in intensive care,

She's got a nurse with her
and a cop guarding the door.


Yeah, Charlie.

Are you sure you got
that license number correct?

I think so. Why?

Because that license
is registered

to a man named John Barton,

a cadet at the police academy.

The police academy?

Well, that's crazy.

Charlie, are you sure?

The point is, are you sure?

Did you get
the right license number?

I don't know. I was badly shaken
and it happened quickly.

You know, if we make a move
and it happens to be wrong--

We can tip our hand
and blow it.

Exactly, Kelly.

We can't afford
to make any mistakes.

We've got to be sure.

I think one of us had better...

how do you say in the service,
"re-up" at the Academy.

You always looked good
in that cadet uniform, Kelly.

Will you call the Academy?

Set up my cover for me,

and make sure
I'm in Barton's class.

Consider it done,
and good luck, Kelly.

Say, could you give a girl
some change?

Sure thing. Sure.

What would you like?

I usually buy my own.

Well, now I'm buying.
That's the change.

Clever fellow.

Well, I wouldn't hassle you.

You're too handy
with that pistol.

Where'd you learn
to shoot like that?

My daddy's farm used
to be overrun with rabbits.

I'll bet there
aren't many left.

You're right.

You got a name?

Kelly Garrett.

John Barton.

Ted Miller.


Well, how'd you
get into this class

halfway through?

I dropped out a few years ago--

Figured something better
would come along.

It didn't work out.

Too bad.

Oh, something will come along.
Then I'll rabbit out of here.

Real dedicated type, huh?

You can't eat steak
and champagne on a cop's salary.

And I'll bet you just love
steak and champagne.

That's the second bet
you'd have won.

Well, I know a place

that serves a fillet
about that thick.

I know a better place,
Devereaux's. Lunch is divine.

But cheap it ain't.

I can handle it.

And eat peanut butter sandwiches
until payday.

Well, there are paydays
and then there are paydays.

Ah, he's really Mr. Gotbucks,

Just plays policeman
for the fun of it?

We do okay.

"We" it is. Have I stumbled
on the gold dust twins?"

Well, let's just say...

we're about as dedicated
to being cops as you are.

Here's to dedication.

Okay, Barton and Miller
have money to spend

and they're not ashamed
to let you know that playing cop

isn't their favorite game.

So, the obvious question--
Why are they cadets?

To be a cop on the take,
first you got to become a cop.

So, somebody put them
in the Academy

so they could learn
to go dirty.

It fits, Bree.

If someone in Vice
set you up to be killed,

Barton and Miller
could be the ones

who tried to kill you.

But we can't prove it.

We've got to find out

who Barton and Miller are
working with in Vice.

Until we've got
the whole package,

we've got nothing.

Maybe we got something.

You know that girl,
Natalie Sands?


She's out of intensive care

and she's conscious enough
to maybe answer questions.

Okay, it's time for me
to start playing cop again.

Also, Charlie pulled
some strings at City Hall.

So, we at the Paradise
have a license to practice

that honorable and ancient art
of body massage.

Okay, you got your fish,

you got your bait--

Let's just hope they nibble.

And, you, you lucky girl,

you'll get to play masseuse
until they do.

I knew there was a rub.

You could've gone all day
without saying that.

All week!

Y'all be careful.

It could get tough
when it goes down.


Well, welcome to Paradise, sir.

May we interest you
in some epidermal stimulation?


I have a real sore back.

I-- I can hardly move.

Could you check
your glasses, please?

My glasses?

House rules.

Thank you.

Come on.

I can't do much
without my glasses.

Ah, pity.


I thought I told you to take
a couple of days off.

I heard
she was coming around.

She say anything?

I just got here.

You still can't remember
anything about

who tried to run you over?

Sorry, I guess
I was just too scared.

I can understand that.

Doesn't look like we'll get
anything from her yet.



Natalie, can you hear me?


Can you talk?

Where am I?


This is Lieutenant Fine
and my name is Sabrina.

We'd like to help you.

I don't feel very good.

Look, I know you don't.

If you could just answer
a couple of questions.

What happened at the Paradise

before Lieutenant Fine
got there?

What was going on?

I don't wanna talk about it.

Look, Natalie,

if you can help us,
we can help you.

Believe me, we want to help you.
I want to help you.

Was the Paradise a cover
for prostitution?

Natalie, please, tell us.

Yes, it was.

How did you get away
with it?



Yeah, he can fix what ails you
at the Police Department.

You mean he took the payoff?

No, not personally.

He arranged for two men
to get the money.

But if there was
going to be a raid,

Doc tipped you off, right?

Yeah, that's right.

Did you ever see Doc?

No. He just called.

Did you ever see the two men?

No, I, uh...

think they picked the money up
in a warehouse somewhere.

Please, I'm very tired.
I'm very tired.

Okay. Okay,
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

You get some sleep.
Thank you.

I'm really sorry.
I didn't mean to take over.

That's okay.

Too bad we
didn't get something.

Didn't get anything?

There's a guy in the Department
on the take

and they call him Doc.

But she's never seen Doc
or his two friends.

So, really, we've got nothing.

I see what you mean.
Dead end, huh, Coach?

Nobody ever said
it was going to be easy.

Yes, yes, we take reservations,

but she's booked
through next week.

No, she wouldn't do that.

I don't think she even knows
what it is.

I know I don't know
what it is.

No, not at any price.
Try the Free Press.

She really gave me a massage.

You were expecting violins?

That'll be $20.

Ah, glasses.
Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

you have wonderful fingers.

Aw, these old things?
I've had them with me for years.



Has Kelly called yet?

She's driving Barton
to the restaurant

in her car right now.

They should be going
by any minute.

How'd she maneuver him
into her car?

His car developed
a flat tire.

You better get to the restaurant
and set it up.


That dump open again?
I thought Vice shut it down.

Something wrong?

No, nothing.

Let's go.

Looks like we're going
to have to wait a few minutes.

That's all right.
You mind if I make a phone call?

No, go ahead.

Lieutenant Fine, please.


Lieutenant Fine.

Doc, this is Mr. Barton.

I'd like to report

that the Paradise
Massage Parlor...

that disgusting den of lust
and flesh,

is back in business.

You sure?


The number's 555-7447.

I appreciate your call, sir.

Just trying to be
a good citizen.

Our table's ready.

The number's 555-7447.

I appreciate your call, sir.

Just trying to be
a good citizen.

Better tell Bree.

I'll use her private line.


There's no answer.

Maybe she's gone home.

No, she told me Fine
had her working the late shift.


Business is booming.

Paradise Massage--

Your body in our hands
is money in the bank.

That's very clever.

Thank you. We think so.

I understand
business is good.

We're not complaining.

I'll get right to the point.

I'm known on the street as Doc.
Maybe you've heard of me.

I think I have. Yes.

Then you know why I'm calling.

Yes, I think so.

Look, I'd like to see you

without any interference
from the police.

In fact, I'd like to see us
both prosper.

That's very
democratic of you.

I think, uh,
$200 a week, cash,

would do very nicely.

Seems like a reasonable figure.


There's a deserted building on
the corner of Eighth and Grand.

Just at the entrance
of that building

is a red trash container.

Put the cash in an envelope.
Put it under that container.

A couple of my associates
will pick it up.

Do you understand?

Yes. $200 in cash,

under the trash container.

I'll be there in 15 minutes.
I don't want any trouble.

You'll be hearing from me.

Can I help you?

Oh, I'm Sergeant Duncan.

I'm in town to pick up
a prisoner.

This "S. Duncan"--
that couldn't be "Sabrina"?

Yeah, it would.

You're kidding?

No. Is she a relative?

Uh, close. Ex-wife.

You from Phoenix?

No, I'm on assignment
in Santa Barbara

for a couple of months.

I can hardly believe she's back.


Yeah, we used to work together
before we split up.

She and two other girls went
to work for Charlie Townsend.

You mean Townsend

Oh, yeah.

Oops. I guess I shouldn't
have said anything.

She's a good cop.
A lot of guys don't

like to have
an ex-private detective

working in their department.

No, not at all.

She told me all about it.
She said she worked with, uh--

Kelly Garrett,
Jill Munroe.

Yeah, those names sound

Yeah. What'd you think
I came from Phoenix for?

Bad guess.

Ah, I see.
Well, is she coming back today?


I'll give her a call
before I leave town.

Hey listen,
thank you.

Okay, I'll tell her
you dropped by.

Yeah, do that. Bye-bye.

Sabrina Duncan's a plant.

Are you sure?

She's working me.

Her friend Kelly's
got you and Barton.

That's why she showed up
at the Academy.

The Paradise reopening.
That new management-- A setup.

You're getting it, kid.

I checked City Hall.

Charlie Townsend
arranged the paperwork,

pulled all the strings.

Duncan's ex-husband says
she and Kelly

work with a third lady,
Jill Munroe.

She's liable to be floating
somewhere through this.

Barton's with Garret right now

at a restaurant
called Devereaux's.

Well, get to him. Tip him.

Then bring the girl to the place
we used for the drop last month.

Well, what about Duncan?

I'll take care
of Miss Sabrina Duncan.

Hi, Coach.

Hiya! Want to go chase
some bad guys?

You got something?

Yeah. I got something.


No luck.

What time were Fine's associates
supposed to pick up the money

you planted under the barrel?

Fine didn't mention
any particular time.

I'll sure feel a lot better
when Kelly and Sabrina know

we've got Fine,
Barton and Miller nailed.

Listen, I'm going to go
try and find them, okay?

Okay. Stay in touch.

I will.

Kelly! What a nice surprise!

I'd love to sit down.
How've you been?

Jill, yes, sit down.

I will.

What is going on?

We got Barton and Miller wired
and Lieutenant Fine, no less.

Fine? Are you sure?

He called.
We make the first drop.

They make the pickup.
They go down.


I just ran into a friend.

Me too.

Oh! John Barton, Ted Miller,
Jill Munroe.

Jill. Yeah, lovely name.

You got good taste in friends,

I'll second that.

You two could turn
a girl's head.

I'm trying.

Listen, got an idea.

We were about to
pay the tab and split

so why don't we make it
a foursome?

Go out,
have a few laughs.

Yeah, hey, great idea.

I got to stop first though
and pick something up--

Very important.

It'll only take
a couple of minutes.

Are you game?

Why not?


Are you sure?

Okay, okay.

Keep trying to page her
and call me back.



How's it going?

It isn't going, Charlie.

What do you mean?

Five minutes ago,
Sabrina's ex-husband called me.

From Santa Barbara?
From here!

He came to pick up a prisoner

and ran head-first
into Sabrina's cover story.

What the devil
are you talking about?

He walked over
to Sabrina's office.

He saw her nameplate.

Then he started
asking questions of Fine.

Oh, that's bad.
Aren't you trying to warn her?

Charlie, I had her paged
with no luck.

One of Fine's men thinks he saw

Sabrina and Fine
leaving together.

Charlie, we have trouble--
Big trouble.

You mind telling me
where we're going?

That's a good question.

You're halfway between
yesterday's dreams

and tomorrow's nightmares.

Where the hell
are you going?

You read that somewhere,

Yeah. I wish I'd said it.

You just did.

Yeah. I did, didn't I?

Come on in here.
I want to show you something.

You're not going
to need your purses.

There's nobody around here.

This isn't the right drop.
We've been made.

When we get to the door...

You take that way.



Gee, Coach,
something I said?

I liked all your moves, kid.

I've just been
zigging and zagging

in the gutter so long--

You got some on you, huh?

Would you believe me
if I said I was sorry?

Sure. You're the Coach.

You're not
going to make it easy, are you?

Not by a damn sight.

Drop the gun, Lieutenant!

Drop it!

I told them your credentials

were too good to ignore.




You know why.

I'll get the ambulance.

Just go with it.


Ah. Oh...
Oh, yeah!

Isn't that good?

Now give me this arm.


Now, give it back,
would you?

Didn't that feel good?

Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

This is a good one.

Now, just go with it.


You'll break his leg.

Okay, back on the bus.

Okay, look,

the most important thing
to remember

is the location
of the first chakra.

That's what controls the spine.

What's a chakra?

to East Indian philosophy,

there are six chakras--

the solar plexus, the heart,
the throat,

the pituitary, the third eye,
the base of the spine.

Which has to do
with one's sexuality.


How do you know that?

I dated an East Indian
tennis player.

That's all he
ever talked about.

I knew an East Indian
woman once.

All she ever talked about
was her apple chutney.

Can we get back to the chutney?
I mean the chakra.

This is very important.

If one of your chakras
is out of sync,

you're in big trouble.

Your whole body--
You just don't feel good.

Two days in a massage parlor
and you learned all that?

One of my customers
wore a turban.

He was very informative--
Heavy tipper.


Charles Townsend Investigations.

Hi, Charlie.

Hello, Sabrina, Angels.

JILL: Hi, Charlie!

BOSLEY: Hi, Charlie!

You seem down in the dumps,

Actually, I'm down on the floor,

Whatever pleases you.

Angels, I just called
to tell you

how proud I am of you.

It was a tough assignment.

You handled yourselves
very well.

Thank you.

Chief Fenton is very grateful.

You tell Chief Fenton
to come down here

and tell us himself.

Be patient, Sabrina.

The chief is too old
for that big an adjustment.

Well, you shame him into it.

Right. How can he refuse us?

Personally, Charlie,
I'm on their side.

Personally, Bosley, so am I.


What is that laughing?

Would you believe
that's my plumber?

Your plumber?


She's been cleaning my pipes
the last few days.

You should see my electrician.

Oh, Charlie!