Charlie's Angels (1976–1981): Season 1, Episode 18 - Terror on Ward One - full transcript

CHARLIE:
Once upon a time,

there were three little girls
who went to the police academy.

And they were each assigned

very hazardous duties.

But I took them away
from all that,

and now they work for me.
My name is Charlie.

Still trying for
the 25-hour day, Danworth?

Some kid on a motorcycle
just tried to disprove

a basic law of physics.

A human head through
a telephone pole won't go.

Well, a chief surgeon
who never sleeps



won't go either--
not for much longer anyway.

Tom, believe me, I've been
an administrator long enough

to recognize the signs.

Okay, okay,
I'll put it to bed.

Hey, aren't you
forgetting something?

What?

Your turn to shut down.

Oh, right.

Hey, Mason.

Talking
about brain surgery,

I happen to know
this quaint little place

that serves a great pizza.

Quincy, save the slap
and the tickle

for the student nurses,
okay?



Hi.

Who is it?

I said, who is it?

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING]

Hey, what's the matter?

[CONTINUES SCREAMING]

The first attack
was last week--

a student nurse
in the same ward,

and the man wore the same kind
of surgical mask,

so she couldn't describe him
to the police.

I figured the first one
was an isolated incident.

But after last night,
I don't know what to think.

CHARLIE:
And in both cases, Ed,

did the women manage to
get away from their attacker?

Luckily, yes.

But I've got to tell you,
Charlie,

the word's out,

and I've got a lot of very
frightened women on my hands.

Rape is
a very frightening word.

Angels, any idea on how
to proceed?

Jill and I thought we might go
in as student nurses.

I could go in as a reporter
for a medical journal,

and that way I could ask

a lot of questions
without sounding like a cop.

Good.

I'm going to run
a computer dossier

on the male personnel
at the hospital,

also on all male
ambulatory patients.

Charlie, I have an idea.

Lately,
Bosley's been complaining

more and more
about his toe.

Ah, yes.

Yes, it was diagnosed
as a bone spur, as I recall.

I think it's about time
he had it tended to.

Listen,
that's a very small bone spur.

I'm sure it'll get tired
of annoying me and go away.

Wait a minute,
Bosley as a patient?

That's a perfect cover.

It's a very simple surgery,
Bosley.

Please, that is one
of my unfavorite words.

Bosley, you're not afraid
of going under the knife.

That is another
of my unfavorite words.

Bosley, I agree with the girls.
You should be hospitalized.

Besides, with that cover,

you can report
to me on a moment's notice.

All right, all right.
I will admit myself, Charlie.

I will lie there
and pretend to be a patient.

But no one has ever violated
my body with a sharp instrument,

and no one's starting now.

It's okay, honey.

No, it's not okay, honey.

[LAUGHING]

[GRUMBLES]

[MOCKING] Ha-ha-ha-ha.

[LAUGHING]

Hi. Do you mind?

I'm Jill Munroe.

I'm Farragut, and she's Mason.

I know. I wanted to talk
to the two of you.

About what?

Well, I'm new here,

and I'm a little scared.

I just heard about
what happened to you.

What about it?

Well, I'm not so sure
I want to train here

with this kind
of stuff going on.

Well, rape isn't exactly
a regular part

of our curriculum here.

Oh. Do you have
any idea who it was,

or why he picked you?

I don't know.

Maybe he heard blonds
have more fun.

Yeah,
I used to be a blond.

Never helped me much.

Gee, you two
are sure taking it well.

Aren't you scared?

We're not really thrilled
about it.

Well, what about you?

Did you see anything?

Who was there with you just
before it happened?

Well,
there were some nurses

and Dr. Danworth--
Tom Danworth.

And he was the only man?

Yeah, as I recall.

No, there was Quincy,
the kissing intern.

The kissing intern?

Yeah, the guy over there
in the corner.

I'm late.
Got to make rounds.

See you later.

If he starts talking
about pizza, run for your life.

Thank you.

See ya.
Okay.

You rang?

Did I?

Well, I heard something.

New girl in town, right?

And not a soul
to tell my troubles to.

Aw.

Aw.

I tell you what.

I know this place,

this quaint little place
that serves pizza.

That's original.

Check with you
after midnight?

Okay.
I'll be counting the minutes.

Hey, me too.

Bye.

Bye.

Aah!
Sore?

Not really.

Then why are you yelling?

Was I yelling?

I think that bone spur has
caused a low-grade infection.

"Low-grade"?
What does that mean?

As opposed to high-grade.

Is that dangerous?
I mean, could a person--?

Don't worry about it.

I'll prescribe some antibiotics.

We'll delay surgery for a while.

Fine.
Say about 60 years?

How come I get the feeling
you're not happy here?

Because you're
extremely perceptive.

Bosley, you're displaying
a certain lack of courage.

Yes, well,
someone is displaying

a flagrant case
of overkill.

Danworth
is chief surgeon here.

His talents are wasted
on my toe.

Bosley, we arranged for Danworth
to be your physician.

We also arranged for you to be
in this particular room.

Why Danworth?
And why this room?

A man named Halvorsen
occupies that bed.

He was seen near the operating
theater about the same time

the attack took place,

and Danworth had just finished
emergency surgery

in the theater.

Wait a minute.

Are you saying
that they are suspects?

I'm saying they might give us
some kind of handle on this.

The trick is
to question them

so they won't realize
they're being questioned.

Aha. I see.

What we need is a sharp eye
and a deft, clever tongue.

That would be wonderful,
Bosley,

but meanwhile, see what you can
find out without blowing it.

Okay?

MAN:
You think you can handle it?

Oh,
you got the right room.

Easiest ride you ever had.

All right, come on,
King Kong, get in the sheets.

Please! It's bad enough
my belly aches.

Don't make me look head-on
into that ugly face of yours.

You know, Halvorsen,

you haven't been here
24 hours yet,

and already it feels like
three weeks.

Why don't you fly down
to the maternity ward

and scare some children.

Oh-ho-ho. A comedian.

In the sack.

Aah!

Aah!

My God!

I thought it was
a baby white!

Baby white?

Shark!

But it's just the color
of your legs.

No matter, though.

It seems to match the rest
of your body.

What are you in for,
a skin transplant?

What are you in for,
a mouth transplant?

I'll be dipped.

A landlubber
with a flash of spunk.

And I take it that you are
a seaman of some sort?

Temporarily landlocked with
an inflamed something or other.

Welcome aboard, Whitey.

Bosley.

Whatever.

And you're Halvorsen.

How'd you know that?

Your chart.

Oh, yeah. Right.

You've got a keen eye,
Whitey.

Bosley!

Okay, Mr. Bosley, bums up.

I beg your pardon.

This is for you.
Roll over.

Are you suggesting that
I expose my posterior

to a total stranger?

Well, once you've done it,
we won't be strangers, will we?

Listen,
I'm feeling a lot better.

I think maybe
I'll just get my clothes on--

Aah!

There you are.

Ooh.

Madam, you are a sadist.

That's right.

Whitey,
you're tuna-livered.

Halvorsen,

you are a blunt instrument.

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

[CRASH]

It's Farragut! She's hurt!

[MOANING]

Are you all right?

What happened?

Easy, take it easy.

Oh, he wore a surgical mask.

Did you see anything?

No, he was already
out the window.

All right,
what's over there?

Just the executive offices.

It's okay.

What is it?

I don't know.

Somebody left
a calling card.

Three attempted rapes
in two weeks.

By tomorrow morning,

this hospital could be
in a complete state of panic.

The police will be through
talking to Farragut

in a few minutes.

When they are,
I'll stay close to her.

You can't keep Farragut

from talking
about what happened tonight.

Well,
I'm going to have to try,

'cause we can't do our job if
things go crazy around here.

Those yellow capsules we found--
what are they?

Hycodroxine.

It's a new drug
being tested here.

JILL:
What are they used for?

Basically,
it's from the amphetamine group,

a sort of
respectable upper.

In our profession,
there's a tremendous amount

of stress, fatigue.

Could it cause
emotional side effects?

That depends on the dosage

and the mental condition
of the person taking it.

Do any of your staff
use hycodroxine?

Yes, I suppose
some of them do.

But not to excess.

How can you be sure?

We keep a very careful record
of our drugs--

how they're dispensed
and who uses them.

Anyone writing unusually
heavy prescriptions--

Well, it'd be called
to my attention.

The orderly who saw the man
who attacked Farragut

said he ran
across the grounds

toward
the administration building.

Now, Dr. Danworth's office is
in that building.

I think I better give
Dr. Danworth's office

a quick examination.

That's a good idea.

And maybe you'll find some
of those yellow capsules.

You know,
I've been watching Danworth.

The man is tired--
maybe close to the edge.

Oh, wait a minute.

Time for my date
with our other suspect,

the kissing intern.
Nervous type?

I'm going to try to find out
where all that's coming from.

Well, he just may not
want to show you.

Well, I'll have to
push a little then.

Don't push too hard.

I won't.

[FOOTSTEPS]

So this is the quaint
little pizza place?

The very same.

Just like a breath of Italy
right in our own backyard.

Well,
I'm glad you like it.

[HUMMING]

Mozzarella, anchovies
and peppers.

Oh, great.

It's the house special.

Oh.

A bit of the grape,
my dear?

Uh-huh.

And do you treat all your girls
this lavishly?

Well, would you believe

that you are the very first
guest of the Villa Quincy?

No.

I didn't think so.

Would you believe
you're the second?

How about the third?

Would you believe it doesn't
matter if I'm the 15th?

All right.

I didn't hit on you

because I like pizzas
with anchovies.

Do you know that's
a microwave oven?

Cooks up
in three minutes.

How many minutes does it take
you to start cooking?

Boy, you certainly
don't give a fella

a chance to breathe,
do you?

Cute. That's cute.

What's the rush?

You brought me here.

Where are you coming from?

Do you like girls or not?

That's a dumb question.
Of course I like girls.

Oh,
I was beginning to wonder.

You look like you're about
to jump out of your skin.

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

I've got my own way
of operating, all right?

Oh, that's right.

You're the guy with
the big reputation on the ward.

So you must know some moves
you can show me, right?

Yeah, right.

So, what's stopping you?

[BELL DINGS]

Ow!

Mmm.

It's okay.

Ow!

Kelly.

Can you hold this?

Sure. How'd it go
with the kissing intern?

Oh, kind of sad,
actually.

You know that Don Juan image
he's peddling?

It crumbles in the clutch.

Libido trouble?

Well,
I think he likes girls.

He just doesn't know how
to handle it.

Which could make
a Don Juan pretty angry

with the ladies, right?

Maybe even enough
to attempt rape.

There's the word--"attempt."

Three attempted rapes.

I'm thinking
the same thing.

[MOANING]

Jill.

Oh, no.

You better
go get a doctor.

Are you all right?

[RUSTLING]

Hey, you okay?
What happened?

Yeah. He got away.

Who?
Who got away?

I don't know.
A man--He had on a mask.

Strike two.

Yeah, one more
and we're out.

Oh, boy.

Here comes Sabrina.

Let me guess.

A lot of little yellow
capsules missing, right?

An armload of hycodroxine.

When I was searching
Danworth's office,

there were empty
hycodroxine bottles.

Maybe I ought to look again
for a sudden new supply.

That's a good idea.

While you do that,

I'm going to look up
the kissing intern,

try to find out where he was
when the drugs disappeared.

Listen, last night,
11:30, I woke up

and Halvorsen was slipping back
into the room.

SABRINA:
11:30?

That was just after Farragut
was attacked.

Halvorsen's an odd sort.

You know, he could have a grudge
against nurses in general.

Or maybe Farragut
in particular.

Now, if he was cleverly
and deftly interrogated...

That's a good idea, Bos.

Only trouble is, you're
the one who's closest to him,

so you'll have to do it.

Oh, that's amusing.
That is very amusing.

Bosley, you better get back
to your room.

Charlie's sending over that
computer material this morning.

Yeah.

Oh, you're right.

Thanks.

I'll see you later on.

Yeah.

My teeth feel like they got
little sweaters on them.

Bosley? John Bosley?

Other bed.

I'll have to get somebody
to sign for this.

I'll sign.

Thank you.

Oh, Halvorsen,
get some hate mail?

Good morning, Fager.

I see you had
your ugly sleep.

Take this.

What is it?

Poison.

If you want to kill me,

why don't you just stand there
a minute and let me look at you?

Now what is that?

It's a sleeping pill.

It's daylight,
you silly old bat.

What do I need
with a sleeping pill?

So that you'll be drowsy

when the surgical prep team
gets here.

The surgical what?
That's right.

We got back the results
of your tests. You flunked.

Dr. Woodville is going
to take out your appendix.

Who the devil
is Dr. Woodville?

You'll meet him in surgery.

Over my dead body.

Ha!
I should get that lucky.

Here. This is for you.

What's that?

Dr. Danworth is going to put you
on oral antibiotics,

rather than the needle.

[LAUGHS]

You know, if I was
around you much more,

I would give you poison.

If you were around oftener,
he'd take it!

Well,
another country heard from.

Somebody dropped that off.

Yeah.

I'm sure you realize

Mr. Main is really
very upset about this.

He'd like to keep a low profile
on the whole incident,

and I've agreed to that.

It's not Main's fault
what's happened.

I'm not going to advertise.

Well, I'm sure
he'll appreciate that.

Do you think the drug theft
was tied into this?

I think it's very possible,
yes.

Do you know what drug
was stolen?

Yes, it was hycodroxine.

Hycodroxine?

Yes. Why, does that mean
something to you?

No.

Well, you reacted
rather strangely.

I'm sorry.

Look,
it's none of my business.

If you know something...

I don't.
I don't know anything.

I think you do.

Look, I don't want
to get anybody in trouble.

I mean, even somebody
I don't like.

You mean Dr. Danworth?

I didn't say that.

Was Dr. Danworth acting
strangely last night

during surgery?
Was he upset?

Look, um...

it could be very,
very important.

He's been very odd.

He's been that way lately.

Yeah, I've seen him
taking a drug.

Hycodroxine?

Look, I've said enough
already.

Let's not talk
about this anymore, okay?

Okay, okay.

How you feeling,
Farragut?

Hanging in.
Have you met Ted Blain?

Well, not really.

I'm Sabrina Duncan.

Hi.

She's a writer.
Better watch what you say.

Oh, you're writing
about this place.

That's the general idea.

Well, you're getting plenty
to write about.

Unfortunately.

Have you been released?

Oh.

Bosley.

Hey, Bosley,
I brought you a magazine.

Bosley!

Oh, Sablina.

I'm glad to see you.

I'm glad to see you too,
Bosley.

Charlie sent over
the compooter--

I mean, the compooter--

computer readout.

I can't seem to wake up
this morning.

But look here.

Several years ago,
Dr. Danworth

was a defendant
in a mal--

malprac--
malpractice suit.

Man's name was McDuff.

He died.

George McDuff.

"George McDuff.
Wife--Marion McDuff.

"Son--Theodore McDuff.

"Presently using
the name of...

Ted Blain"?

My orderly.

Bosley, I think we just made
a giant step forward.

Yeah, exciting.

Yes, thrilling.

Hey, Bosley,
do you think if we--?

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Bosley?

Bosley?

Yeah, we got one more
after this.

Hey, how you doin'?

Halvorsen, right?

Halvorsen's right.

Halvorsen. Halvorsen.

All right, George Halvorsen.

Turn him over. Yeah.

Take your pick.

Hey, what are you doing?

Didn't they tell you?
I'm on the pill.

I'm on the pill.

Wise move.

You're a little too old
to be a mother.

Ready?
Ready.

[MUMBLING INCOHERENTLY]

Wait. Where we going?

Surgery's
on the sixth floor.

Surgery? Oh, God, no.

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

I just came in
for a hangnail.

Just a hangnail.
Just a hangnail!

Relax. Dr. Woodville
will take care of everything.

Woodville?

Yeah, he's not too bad.

Huh?

Yeah, when he's sober,
he's terrific.

Sober, sober?

A vendetta
against Dr. Danworth?

I don't know. Think about it.
Ted's father's dead.

Dr. Danworth's found innocent
in a malpractice suit.

So Theodore McDuff,
alias Ted Blain,

comes to this hospital

to set up a frame
against Danworth.

Total
character assassination.

Wait. Are you saying
he's responsible?

Attempted rape?
The drug theft? Ted?

Well, it's a possibility,
isn't it?

We're guessing. We've got
to have more to go on.

You're right.
I'll tell you what.

Why don't you find Kelly.
Tell her what's happened.

Then you go to work
on Danworth.

I'll try to find Mr. McDuff,
alias Ted Blain,

see if I can get him
to trip on his tongue

without tipping our hand.

Be careful, okay?

Yeah.

[GUN COCKING]

Take 'em.

I said, take 'em!

JILL:
Dr. Danworth.

Jill!
[GUNSHOT]

Kelly!

JILL: Kelly!

Kelly!

Kelly!

Kelly!

[POUNDING ON DOOR]

You okay?

Yeah.

Who is it?

It's Nurse Farragut.

Oh, hi, Ted.
Excuse me.
Oh, hi.

Thank you very much.

You got a minute
you can talk to me?

Sure, if you don't mind walking
while we do it.

No, no,
old reporter's trick--

feet and mouth work
at the same time.

I've got to see the chief
engineer down in the basement.

Can't seem to get
the air conditioning cooking.

Going up?

No, down. Sorry.

So, what's on your
mind?

Well,
what I would like to do

is write a human-interest
piece.

Now, I'd like
to use an orderly,

such as yourself,

in a large hospital
in a large city.

I'd like to get your reactions
to the conditions

that you work under,

to the people
that you work with,

the doctors, the nurses,
et cetera, et cetera.

You mean, hearing how it is
with one of the little people?

[BELL DINGS]

Do you think of yourself as one
of the little people?

No, not anymore.

Do you know why?

No, no, I don't.

Because, uh...

I corrected an injustice.

An injustice?

Why don't you stop playing
this game with me?

You know
what I'm talking about.

No, I don't.

Sure you do.

Dr. Danworth killed
my father,

and now we are killing him.

Both ways.

Just like he did
to my father.

He dies,

and he dies in disgrace.

Hold it!

Drop it.

[METAL ROD HITS FLOOR]

You all right?

How's Danworth?

He's okay.

Thanks, Charlie.

Well, Charlie just found out
why Halvorsen ran out.

Alimony problems
with an ex-wife.

Thought we were working for her.

Those midnight calls--
He was just trying to ship out.

KELLY: Oh, what happened
with Farragut and Blain?

You mean Mrs. George McDuff

and son Theodore McDuff?

It all goes back
to that malpractice suit

in Charlie's report.

Come on.

So Ted and his mother
not only wanted Danworth dead,

they wanted him disgraced.

Mm-hmm.

And that's why they staged
the attempted rapes.

That's right.

Gee.

Hey, hold on a second.

Bosley?

Oh, no.

Bosley!

Sablina!

Bosley, you did it!
Bosley had his surgery!

We're so proud of you.

Who they talking to?
Who are you
talking to?

We're talking to him.

Who do you think
we're talking to?

Boy, they're good.
They didn't even leave a mark.

I don't see any stitches.
Where are the stitches?

In his side. Where else?
In his side?

What are the stitches doing
in his side?

What's wrong?
What happened?

Nothing's wrong.
Everything came out fine.

What came out?

His appendix.

Oh, my God!

His appendix?!

Bosley, why did you let them
take your appendix out?

I don't know.

Why do you people keep
calling him Bosley?

Because that's his name,
you dummy!

"Halvorsen."

See? Halvorsen. Huh?

Bosley, what are you doing
with Halvorsen's ID on?

I don't know.

You mean
he's not Halvorsen?

No! He's not Halvorsen!
His name is Bosley.

John Bosley.

He came in to have surgery
on his toe.

You took his appendix out.

Well, you can't
win 'em all.

Excuse me.

Where we going now?

Um...