Charlie's Angels (1976–1981): Season 1, Episode 15 - Angels on a String - full transcript

Charlie gives the girls three days off with pay as a reward for their hard work. But the Angels put their vacation on hold due to the kidnapping of a politician that Sabrina idolizes.


CHARLIE:
Once upon a time,

there were three little girls
who went to the police academy.

And they were each assigned
very hazardous duties.

But I took them away
from all that,

and now they work for me.
My name is Charlie.

CHARLIE:
Next item, Bosley.

Next is the Danworth case fee.

$1250.

Hi, Bos.
Hi.

Then the manager case fee.

$2000.

Hi.
Hi.

Didn't you bring your racket?

It's in the car.
Where's Sabrina?

Oh, she's not here yet.
Your voice is fading, Bosley.

Would you hold just
a moment, Charlie?

Guess who else is going
to be there this weekend?

Oh, who?

JILL:
Oh, Wuchinski.

SABRINA:
No, Wycinski. Wycinski.

Look, I get the impression

that an event of some import
is going to take place

and I have not been informed.

Bos, didn't Charlie tell you?
Uh-uh.

Well, it's R and R time.

You know, rest, rehabilitation.

Oh, are we talking
about a vacation?

Yes.

Three days, Bosley.

With pay.

Marvelously democratic,
Charlie.

I have a little croquet set
I've been dying to try out.

Wrong, Bosley.

Uh, tell him, Charlie.

Oh, you mean croquet
is not allowed?

The idea was that,
uh, they play,

you work, Bosley.

Uh, uh, let me grasp this.

You mean, that you three will be
frolicking about at some spa,

shirking your responsibilities,
while I am here

sweating over a hot set
of bookkeeping ledgers?

You like bookkeeping, Bosley.

Charlie you mean you want me
to pay them for doing nothing?

As you said,
how marvelously democratic.

Have a good time, Angels.

Oh, we will, Charlie!

Bye-bye.
Bye.

But--

Okay.

Next case!

Wellman case fee $1850.

No, no wait, no.
That's $1860.

Uh, Charlie?

[PHONE HANGING UP]

Charlie? Ch--

I am bereft.

? Dum, da, dum ?

? Dum, dum, dum, da, dum ?

How long are you going
to keep doing that?

Till I get it right.

Look, you want to be
in the mood for Polish,

you must hum
"The Polonaise."

I confess, I'm his greatest fan.

No, for a movie star
or a quarterback,

you would be a fan.

But for an international
political figure

like Peter Wycinski,
you've got have

international simpatico.

I've got a gang of simpatico,

and you would too, if you'd read
some of his books.

He lays down
some pretty heavy stuff.

You're not going to even
get to see him, Sabrina.

There'll be too much security.

Press, the cameras,
the whole package.

Listen. I get a glimpse of him
from 100 feet away,

it makes the whole trip
worthwhile.

If I don't, we're on vacation,
I work on my backhand.

Hey, maybe you could
just wander around

humming "The Polonaise"
very loudly,

then he'll think you're Polish
and make a move on you.

Heaven.

Oh, a sixty-year-old man.

She has a crush
on a sixty-year-old man.

Genius!

? Dum, da, dum,
Dum, dum, dum, da, dum ?

Six-zero-four-O-M-B.

That's him.

My friend, I think
he's having a heart attack.

Could you please help us?

Sure.

SABRINA: ? Dum, da, dum,
Dum, dum, dum, da, dum ?

Can you hear it?

Is it Polish to your ears?

? Dum, da, dum,
Dum, dum, dum, da, dum ?

KELLY:
Enough, enough, enough.

My racquet string broke.

Oh, no.

Now, what do you suppose
the tab is on a place like this?

I'm going to take
this one, okay?

This is nice.

What does it matter?

Well, I mean, you know.

Look.

"Stop worrying, Sabrina.
It's on me.

Enjoy, Angels. Love, Charlie."

That's cute.
All right.

You heard the man.

Thank you.

I have been consumed
by an irresistible need.

Oh, you want the double bed?

No. A new swimsuit.

I saw a terrific little shop
off the lobby.

You want to go?

Yeah, I can fix
my racket string.

Hey, you want to go, Bree?

No, I think I'll stay here
and get some

of this mountain air.

See you in a little while.

We'll meet you at the pool.
Okay.

Professor Wycinski?

Wycinski.

Uh, I'm sorry. Wycinski.

I've arranged
for the television interview

to be in the lounge-lobby

a few minutes
before the luncheon.

Oh, good, good.

Professor Wycinski!

It is indeed a great honor, sir.

A great privilege to meet you
and be a part of your cause.

What, uh--

I'm sorry.
I am babbling like a fool.

I am Anton Rabitch,

the Polish-American
Freedom League.

We wired you in London, sir.

Oh, yes, yes.

I am glad you came.

My dear friend,
they have taken over Poland--

But there are thousands
of Polish-Americans

who do welcome you here,

and offer you love,
and affection.

And protection.

Glad to have you with us,
Rabitch.

Haller, FBI.

Officially, we're only here

to protect
the Assistant Secretary

Yes, I know, I know.

We must not offend
the official pigs,

who sit in our consulate
in Los Angeles.

Protocol.

I understand, my friend.

So, therefore, I am here

officially to help you

while you unofficially
protect the professor.

Personally, I'm very grateful.

We'll be back
in about 20 minutes.

I'll be ready.

Uh, thank you again for coming.

Thank you.

It's an honor.

Hello.
Hello.

I didn't even hum
"The Polonaise."

Do you know "The Polonaise"?

Oh, uh.

? La, la, la
La, la, la ?

? La, la, la, la, la
La, la, la-- ?

Do you like slivovitz?

Slivovitz?

He danced
with the Warsaw ballet.

Oh.

He's the Polish
high-jump champion.

Sh.

Ooh!

In a minute.

Come.

This is slivovitz.

Here.

Thank you.

Na zdrowie.

Na zdrowie.

It's made from plums.

[SPEAKING POLISH]

Old Polish Proverb.

Never underestimate
the power of a plum.

New Polish proverb.
Yes.

Very new.

Well, now,

my beautiful young lady,

what is your name?

Sabrina Duncan.

Sabrina Duncan.
Good.

And I am--

Oh, you don't have to tell me

who you are, Professor Wycinski.

My friends call me Peter.

My friends
will never believe this.

Do you climb
over porch railings often?

Not nearly often enough.

But today I feel very good.

You see, I am going
to see my son

for the first time
in four years.

Jon Wycinski.

Age 36. Profession, lawyer.

Present home,
San Francisco. Right?

Yes.

Your wife was killed
during the war.

So, you raised Jon by yourself.

And when Poland was taken over
by the Communists,

he came to this country,

but you stayed there
to begin your "war of words."

You know a great deal about me.

I've read nearly everything
you've written.

I know that you're here
for a press conference

with the Assistant
Secretary of State.

That you're going
to discuss a resolution

that you both drafted to present
before the United Nations.

And that the resolution
is an attempt to stop

Communist influence
in the Eastern Bloc countries.

Such a pretty head,
and so full of information.

And a great deal of respect
for you and what you're doing.

Thank you.

Ah, Haller and Rabitch
will be worried.

They are my watchdogs,
you see.

Oh! My son is unmarried.

Considering my age and yours,

perhaps I should
introduce him to you.

Is he coming here?

Any minute.

Well, shall we meet right after
the luncheon with the Secretary?

I would be honored.

Good.

This little time I've stolen
from you, I'm very grateful.

Well...

[SPEAKING POLISH]

[SPEAKING POLISH]

Ah.

[HUMMING "THE POLONAISE"]

What do you think?

Shirley Babashoff,
eat your heart out.

Backstroke, anyone?

Do you know what
I've been doing?

I've been in our room having
slivovitz with guess who.

What's slivovitz?

Plum brandy.

Plum brandy?

Plum brandy.

Where did you come across
this odd nectar?

It was given to me,

by Professor Peter Wycinski.

Professor Peter Wycinski?

Wycinski. We toasted each other.

Wait.

Let me get this straight,
you and Professor Wycinski

toasted each other together?

In our room.

In our room?
Uh-huh.

He came over the porch railing.

Now, wait a minute, Sabrina.

Let's go over this again.

Professor Peter Wycinski

hurdled his sixty-year-old
body onto our porch

and marched into our room
bearing a bottle of plum brandy.

It sounds crazy.

Oh, no, it makes perfect sense.

Yeah, just last week
Roslyn Carter

leaped through my kitchen window
with a quart of chili.

Well, if it isn't
the old porch-jumper himself.

Something's wrong.

I'm sorry, miss, security.

I-- It's all right I am
a friend of the professor.

I'm sorry, miss. You're going
to have to stand back.

Listen, my name
is Sabrina Duncan.

My name is John Haller, FBI.

Now, we just flew in from London
with the Assistant Secretary

and the Professor.

We're very busy.

Now, if you don't stand back,

I'm going to put you
under arrest.

Why don't you go get
into your tennis clothes?

I'll get mine and meet you
at the lounge.

I mean, that's what we came here
for, fun, right?

Yeah, remember what Charlie
said about a vacation?

Enjoy!

I'm telling you,
I talked to him, in our room.

Okay, so you talked to him.
He's got a short memory.

No, he doesn't. There's nothing
the matter with his memory.

His memory's just fine.

Sabrina.

I'm telling you,
something is wrong.

Hey, Sabrina, you know--

Mr. Haller,

could you give this
to the professor for me.

Please tell him
he left it in my room.

He was in your room?

As I told you, we're friends.

Well, I have only just now
met the professor.

But I researched some
of his personal habits.

It seems he privately enjoys
the company of young women.

Publicly, he has an image
to protect, of course.

You understand that.

So, perhaps it would be less
embarrassing all around

if I returned the lighter?

If you like.

Apology accepted.

That girl, she's
the one Wycinski visited.

Yeah, she's a celebrity
worshipper.

I think she's been discouraged,

but just to make sure,

entertain her till 1:00.

Pleasure.

And you should stay
in the chalet.

Okay, so the professor
has a few flaws.

He's still a world beater where
it counts, right?

Thank you.

I'll sign for these, okay?

It's already been taken care of.

Look, I hate to come on
in bars, but, well,

this kind of scenery
is rare around here.

May I?

Sure, go ahead.

I could use
a little ego boosting.

Oh, sounds like somebody's
been raining on her parade.

She just found out one of her
idols has feet of clay.

Feet of clay, mind of gold.

All that action out there
in the lobby a little while ago.

Your idol part of that crew?

Who, uh, who were
those people anyway?

The Assistant Secretary
of State,

and Professor Peter Wycinski,
no less.

The Assistant Secretary
of State and who?

Wycinski?

Wycinski.

There's a big political pow-wow
in the banquet room.

How about that?

You, uh, you know
one of them?

Well, we had a brief encounter.

Very brief.

You didn't know
the professor was here?

No.

I'm not into politics much.

Oh.

What room are you in?

Eight.

Eight?

Eight's my lucky number.

Is it mine?

This place has no ambience.

Oh, got to have ambience.

Knew you'd feel that way.

See you later, Kelly.

Oh. I left my bracelet
on the table,

I'll be right back.

Eight is not your lucky number.

And he is
not telling the truth.

He was watching Wycinski.

Come on, Sabrina.

This is getting
out of hand.

I'm telling you,
he's watching Wycinski,

and he's watching me now.

Okay. What do
you want me to do?

Find Jill. Have her follow him
when he leaves the room.

I've got to get
into the banquet room.

Meet me outside the suite
in 15 minutes.

Thank you.

Okay.
Bye.

Bye.

Ambience.

Needs...champagne
and hot water.

Hot water?

I have a thing about showers.

Uh, well, the shower's
in there.

Any special kind of champagne?

Mm,

Dom Perignon, '55.

Room service?

Yeah, uh, I need some champagne
in room eight.

Uh-huh.

Do you have Dom Perignon, '55?

Good.

Bring it up.

? La, la, la, la ?

? La, la, la, la ?

? La, la, la, la ?

Where's Jill?

Waiting for the peanut king

to come out of room eight
like you asked.

How'd you get out?
Very carefully. Now, listen.

Wycinski's son should
be here any second.

I want you to find him,
talk to him,

tell him what's happened

Sabrina, I don't know
what's happened

and neither do you.

Listen, I know that everything

Peter Wycinski does
or says in public

to the press, to the Secretary,
it's all very important.

Now, if he's being threatened--

You can't be sure of that.

I know our friend in room eight
was lying when he told us

he didn't know who Wycinski was.

He was lying when he told us

that he didn't know
if he was here.

And the look on that man's face
when I waved at him.

That wasn't embarrassment.

He was frightened.

And I'm going to find out why.

You'll never get past
the security people,

Haller and Rabitch.

You just find Wycinski's son.

There's an employee locker room
outside the kitchen.

Take him there
and wait for me.

Boy, am I late!

Uh, excuse me,
your name is, uh--

Mary.

Mary. That's right.
Mary, uh--

Jeffers.

Mary Jeffers and your
mother's maiden name was--

Johnson.

Right! Susan Johnson.

No. Evelyn Johnson.

Evelyn Johnson.

There's just no tripping you up,
is there, Mary?

Big deal. I know
my mother's first name.

Now, listen, Mary,
I've got one more question.

I want you to listen
to it very carefully.

Consider it before
you answer it,

because it could mean
a great deal to you.

All right?

Now, do you have a relative

who recently passed away

that you hadn't seen
in quite some time?

Well, I,

had an aunt.

Yeah?

Her name was, uh,

it was Margaret! Aunt Margaret
on my father's side.

Is that right?

Quite right.

Hey, um, why are you telling me
all these things, huh?

Mary, County Courthouse,
Probate Division.

Judge Phillips.

Your Aunt Margaret's will
is due to be read

in half an hour.

Her will?
That's right.

Now, if you leave right now you
can just make it.

Oh, okay.

But my job--
It's all right.

I've talked to your boss.

Everything's been taken care of.

You just go on and go.

Judge Phillips, and, uh,
good luck, Mary.

Oh, yeah, hey, thanks.

It's Phillips, right?
Phillips.

Good luck.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

It's about time.

What'd you do,
stomp the grapes yourself?

Hardly, sir.

$280?!

There's no charge

for the cheeses
and crackers, sir.

You got change for a twenty?

No, sir.

Good day.

Are you sure we're
in the right place?

Well, I think so.

Great outfit.

Okay, what happened?

I followed him from room eight.

It looks like he has a friend
in a chalet

on the other side of the hotel.

They're holding somebody
in there, Sabrina.

Could you tell who it was?

I couldn't because
of the drapes.

But it looks like
a man tied to a chair.

He wasn't moving.

Sabrina, I checked
with the desk, Wycinski's son,

he's got reservations here

and the airlines
sent his luggage,

but he hasn't shown.

Okay.

Okay, you've got to get
into that chalet.

I don't know how
you're going to do it,

but you've got to do it
and get back to me.

Bree, you know
you're putting yourself

in between a rock
and a hard place.

She's right. I mean,
those FBI fellas

aren't kidding around
and you've already been warned.

Okay. All right.
Thank you.

Now let's just get going,
I'll be all right.

I'm here to clean your room.

The room was cleaned
this morning.

Oh, don't you want it
clean this afternoon?

It doesn't have to be
cleaned this afternoon.

Oh. Right.

I guess I'll come back

and clean it again
in the morning.

Miss?

Miss?

Jill.

Wycinski's son still
hasn't checked in.

Well, our peanut king
just took a car

around to the back
of the chalet.

They're leaving?

Yeah, I guess so. Listen,
you better go get the car.

I'm going to take a closer
look inside, okay?

Wait, Jill. Be careful.
All right.

They put him in the trunk
and he's been drugged. Let's go.

Oh, no! He spooked.

If we lose him, the man
in the trunk's dead.

Come on!

Get the keys!

[SPEAKING CHINESE]

[PHONE RINGS]

What do you want?!

Who?

Sabrina?

No one named Sabrina works here.

Excuse me.

I know everyone works here.

I tell you--
No one named Sabrina!

Absolutely not!

I'm Sabrina.

Here she is!

Thank you very much.

Yeah?

Sabrina? It's Jill.

Now listen to me
very carefully.

Kelly and I'll be coming back
up the hill.

And we've got news for you.

Professor Wycinski is with us.

You've got
Wycinski with you.

Yeah. He was the one
they were holding in the chalet.

Now wait a minute.
You've got Wycinski with you,

and I got him here with me.

So, what we have
is a double.

Right.

A switch, a ringer.

And that would be the reason

that he didn't
recognize me in the lobby.

It was because he had never seen
me before in our room.

All right, the question is,
what's going on? What for?

Well, maybe it's what you told
us about the professor.

What he says publicly
is very heavy stuff.

So, if somebody
wanted him misquoted.

Right.

They could do a hell
of a lot of damage.

Sabrina, maybe you'd better get
to that FBI man, Haller.

Rabitch too.
Make them listen to you.

Right.

We're on our way.

Ladies and gentlemen,

while we're adding an inch
or so to our waistlines,

with those desserts

that we promised ourselves
we wouldn't eat,

let me take this opportunity

to welcome you here today
on this very momentous occasion.

In a time when the world strives
desperately for peace,

we're blessed with the presence
of two men

who are its most formidable
proponents.

Two men whose untiring devotion
to duty have set an example

for men of good will
throughout the world.

What does she think she--

Ladies--

May I continue
where I left off?

As I was saying--

You!

You!

If I may, let me continue.

I was about to say that--

Please...

Ladies and gentlemen...

Hold it, miss!

Would you like a glass of wine?

It was especially prepared
for the Secretary.

Come on, go ahead.
Don't be afraid of it.

Why should I be afraid of it?
Go ahead, just take a sip.

One sip and I'll tell you.

All right, Haller.
Okay, okay.

You really don't know
about this stuff, do you?

Sabrina!

Next week, one of these men
will present a most historic...

Did you see?
She did it on purpose.

She must be some kind
of radical.

So my friends, what we believe
must be spoken.

What we feel must be expressed.

What we cherish
must be protected.

We are privileged here today
because we welcome

to our country...

The "Professor" will say
he's not going

to present their resolution
to the United Nations.

The crowd will be shocked.

Then he'll keep explaining
his change of positions.

Until the Assistant Secretary
will suffer a sudden confusion

and the resolution will never
get to the United Nations.

In a minute-- Less,
less than a minute.

Professor Peter Wycinski.

Ladies and gentlemen.

My country is not oppressed
by the Communist regime.

It was raped
by the Communist conspiracy!

No, it was not a rape
of the flesh,

but of the spirit of the mind.

Which, I can assure you,
is by far a more heinous crime.

If you take from a man
his right of choice,

of free choice in all things,
yes, then you rape him.

For a man without choice
is a man without dreams,

without hopes,

without ambitions.

You make from him,

not a man at all.

I am here to declare
that it is my intention--

No, my promise,

to work tirelessly
with all my energy

to return the right
of free choice to all men.

Let me understand this,

the man they kidnapped
on the road,

it wasn't Wycinski's son?

No. That was Rabitch--
I mean, the real Rabitch.

Wycinski's son
just missed his plane.

He called his father,
but of course,

that message got mixed up
in the shuffle.

I see. And they needed
Rabitch's credentials

to get close to Wycinski.

To set up the switch.

That's right, Charlie.

And I talked to the man
from the FBI, Haller.

Very interesting,
they analyzed the wine.

Very special stuff
they put in it.

Causes brain damage
and no trace in an autopsy.

Well, I must say,
for a casual weekend,

quite an experience.

You don't know the half
of it, Charlie.

Wycinski's son?

Heaven.

By the way, Charlie,
how was your weekend?

Actually, I've been
doing some swinging.

With my golf clubs.

Oh, excellent, Charlie.
Exercise. Good score?

No score yet but
I'm giving it my, uh,

my very best shot.

You always do, Charlie.

You always do.

Always.