Chaos (2011): Season 1, Episode 12 - Mincemeat - full transcript
I'm Agent Rick Martinez.
Let me be the first
to welcome you to the CIA.
And this is the story of
America's great house of spies.
You've heard of office politics?
Ours come with poison pills
and guns.
Spy trap.
I knew this was going
to be a fiasco.
I've been assigned to a
special covert unit,
conceived to go where others can't,
and to do what others won't,
whether the mission's authorized or not.
We each have our own
special skill, Martinez.
I lead, Billy charms people,
Casey hurts people, and you translate.
We are the ODS, last of
the old-school spies.
This is a hospital?
It's more like a Ritz-Carlton.
It's a hospital
for billionaires.
Two bodyguards
outside Mehrak's room.
Did you get
his room service order?
Ten minutes ago.
He ordered mung bean porridge.
He's looted billions
from his national treasury
yet he chooses to order
mung bean porridge.
He was a man of simple
peasant tastes
before taking power by
slaughtering half his country.
Sure, but mung beans?
Even the words taste awful.
Is the orderly bringing it up?
An orderly is.
Room service.
Hot porridge.
No weapons.
Apologies, Mac.
You are here to kill me?
I need you to micturate
into this cup.
Micturate?
Micturate.
Sure.
One cup of dictator's
urine, as ordered.
Oh, that's so sweet.
The other boys only
ever bring me flowers.
Take it to the medical unit.
That urine sample was the last
piece of the puzzle needed
to identify Mehrak's
medical condition.
I love puzzles.
Sudoku guy.
Big-time.
Operative Blanke,
what are you doing here?
I saw you guys in the hallway--
thought you might be going for smoothies.
Now why would we be doing that?
Uh, smoothies are delicious.
What does Mehrak have?
Kidney disease?
Lung disease?
Heart disease?
They were all possibilities.
Bird flu?
We needed a sample of his
bodily fluids to know.
Aha.
Effective strategy.
Just like when Soviet
Premier Khrushchev
visited the United
States in 1959,
the Agency rerouted the plumbing
from his guest suite bathroom.
Messy business.
But good thing
urine is sterile.
Oh, it is. Unless
you've got a disease.
Which he does.
Liver cancer. Advanced.
Belada Mehrak,
leader of his nation,
president for life,
butcher of Miristan
has only weeks to live.
This is good, right?
This guy's a monster?
No, he's a son of a bitch.
This guy is a monster.
Mehrak's son-- Sadegh.
He's the designated heir.
Sadegh commands
the secret police.
He tortures for fun,
and will make his father
look like a humanitarian
if he ever makes it into power.
Which brings us to
our other problem.
Two weeks ago
four American hikers
were arrested as spies
for accidentally crossing
over into Miristan.
And once Sadegh is in charge,
he'll roast them
for sheer pleasure.
Exactly.
What about extraction?
We have no idea where they're being held.
Is that an option?
That country is a police state.
Every other building
is a prison.
So, if we aren't pulling them
out, what are we doing?
Making Mehrak change his mind
about who will succeed him.
He has another son,
lacks the family vicious streak.
Rostam.
He left his homeland
ten years ago to live in London.
He's a,
uh, part-time philanthropist
and full-time party boy
who's been spending
his father's money
for the past decade.
Quite wisely,
by the looks of things.
In the interest
of full disclosure,
I, um,
knew him... briefly in London.
Oh.
Were you two, uh...?
Slight acquaintances.
There you go.
All right, so all we have
to do is get an SOB dictator
to disown the son
who's a chip off the old block
in favor
of the frivolous playboy
who disowned him ten years ago.
Any thoughts?
Operation Mincemeat.
Uh-huh.
Mincemeat.
A classic.
One of the greatest
deception schemes ever.
1943.
The Allies were about to invade
Nazi-occupied Europe in Sicily.
They wanted to fool the Germans
into thinking
they were landing
somewhere else,
so they found a dead body,
and dressed it as
a military courier
carrying bogus invasion plans.
And then they faked
a plane crash at sea,
the Germans found the body,
read the plans,
and put their forces
in the wrong place.
Yeah, and Hitler lost, so it was
a happy ending.
Sounds great.
Where do we get a dead body?
Isn't he a beaut?
Lovely. Can we keep him?
He's all ours.
He's going to be a courier
from a Swiss bank
carrying documents showing
CIA payoffs to Sadegh,
Mehrak's heir apparent.
Mehrak's paranoid, right?
Typical dictator mentality?
Doesn't trust anyone?
Mm-hmm. He has beheaded
a cousin or two.
Ah. So we frame
the bad son.
Bad son gets his head
chopped off, our guy is in.
Looks familiar.
That's because
you saw his obituary
in the agency newsletter.
He was the deputy chief,
file records section.
He always wanted
to get into the field.
He's finally getting his chance
to serve.
He'd be so proud.
Operation Mincemeat?
Exactly. Then we just
wait for the corpse
and the phony documents
to wash ashore,
and to be discovered
by Mehrak's men.
Sounds grisly.
But it might just work.
There is one hurdle,
which I'll let
Martinez describe,
since the two of you
are sleeping together,
and there's an
emotional component.
Swaying the dictator
to choose Rostam
will be useless
if Rostam doesn't give up
his party life in Europe.
He needs to return
back to his homeland.
It's a tough order.
The Rostam I remember preferred
the French Riviera
to the muddy flats of Miristan.
That's exactly why
we need someone...
Someone female.
...to help
persuade him.
And she would have
to be beautiful,
charming.
Maybe somebody
that he already knows.
There's a charity ball
in London day after tomorrow
that he's scheduled to attend.
She could be there.
After, of course, she takes
the company credit
card to Giorgio Armani
and buys herself a ravishing
dress for the occasion.
Seriously,
you don't know where
we're headed with this?
Of course I do.
I just wanted to see what else
you were gonna bribe me with.
Sounds like fun.
I'll do it.
Great.
But even if Mincemeat works,
there's no guarantee that Dad
will choose the playboy son
over the psychopath.
Sadegh's been whispering
in his father's ear
for a decade.
That's why Dorset and Collins
will be whispering in the other.
St. Ignatius' pinky toe.
Wasn't St. Ignatius eaten
by lions 2,000 years ago?
Well, apparently,
the lions missed a bite.
And we're looking
at this because...?
Belada Mehrak spent a half
million dollars acquiring it.
Why?
It's believed
to have healing powers.
How's the toe
working out for him?
Evidently, not well.
Over the past six months,
he's been buying up
every religious relic
he can get his hands on.
He's seen quacks peddling
everything from shark cartilage
to invisible surgery.
He knows he's dying.
But can't accept it.
The Swiss doctors offered him
palliative care.
He decided to find a cure.
Another desperate narcissist
who thinks the world
can't go on without him.
He's looking for a miracle.
Maybe we can provide it.
You want to offer
a dying man a fake cure?
I know morally,
this is a gray area...
I love it. I'm in.
Okay.
One of our cover companies
in the health field has
reached out to Mehrak
and offered him an
experimental drug.
He's expressed interest, so
I'll go in posing as a doctor.
Billy can be my nurse.
Why would you be the doctor?
Because I studied
pre-med for two years.
And he has a God complex.
Don't be offended.
So do I.
Fine. We can both
be doctors.
Anyway, we'll administer
a cocktail of
adrenaline and steroids.
He'll feel great,
at least for a time,
and in that time,
he'll want to trust us.
Mission approved.
You hop on the father,
I'll hop on the son.
I misspoke.
Well, let me tell you, just wait
until the dancing starts.
Look at him go.
Three beautiful women
throwing themselves at him,
and Rostam acts like it's just
another Wednesday night.
Oh, it's easy to seduce women
when you have a vast fortune
and a megawatt smile.
Mm.
Kudos to his dentist.
Here comes Ferrer.
Holy moly.
Head in the game, Martinez.
Head in the game.
I cannot believe
you've never been to Ibiza.
It is the most beautiful island
in the world.
Rostam Mehrak?
My God. Is this Adele Ferrer?
Mm.
How, uh, lovely
to see you again.
And lovely to see you.
Mmm.
That's for my sister.
And her baby-- your baby.
What are you talking about?
It's okay. It's okay.
Ladies, wait.
This woman...
She was 16.
What are you...?
Wait, ladies.
That was delicious.
Order me one?
I never even met your sister.
Oh, I don't have one.
I just wanted to
be alone with you.
I didn't remember you
being a crazy person.
Well, people change.
Adele Ferrer.
Mmm. How have
you been?
I'm good, I'm good.
You're looking well.
She is extraordinary.
Yeah.
I really believe she
wants to sleep with him.
So...
You are the new doctors?
Yes, sir.
We've just arrived,
and we're eager to
start your treatment.
Have you disposed
of the last two doctors?
They're enjoying our hospitality
at the private facility.
Their therapy sounded promising.
But it had no effect.
I could only conclude
they were fakers.
What have you brought me?
The venom of the blue devil
octopus.
Ah.
Well...
We shall see.
I am ready for to get out now.
Doctors, hup, hup.
"Whatever
the patient needs."
Whew!
Maybe you should
go back downstairs.
Oh, he'll show.
Trust me.
What did you whisper to him?
I think it's important to have
secrets in this business,
don't you, Operative Malick?
Hi.
Sorry. I couldn't
get away until...
Oh.
I know I seem open-minded,
but this really isn't my thing.
Hello, Mr. Mehrak.
We were hoping
to speak with you.
Very well. Speak.
Mr. Mehrak,
you father and brother
brutally oppress
the people of Miristan.
Your country needs
something different.
United States is interested in you
returning home
and assuming
your rightful place.
Is that so?
Well, it's unfortunate
for the United States
that I don't give a damn
what it's interested in.
I'm returning to the party now.
You're welcome to join me.
I don't think you understand what
we're offering.
With our assistance, you could
become a very powerful man.
Power is overrated.
Look at me--
no power, but full of joy.
I intend to stay that way.
Good day.
Your father is dying.
He has cancer,
incurable.
He has a few weeks
to live at best.
Another lie?
No. Sorry.
That is the octopus venom?
One of the deadliest
substances found in nature.
One drop could kill
the average man.
But when diluted
in an alkaline medium
and injected
into the bloodstream,
it produces marked
anti-cancer effects.
Why have I never heard of this?
Drug companies
don't want you to know.
You see, they make so much more money
from the sick.
Now I don't want you
to be afraid of any dangerous
side effects.
I fear nothing.
Give me the full potency
of this venom, Doctor.
You are a very brave man.
Now, some of our patients
start to feel the effects
almost immediately.
Anything yet, sir?
I feel...
Good.
I feel...
Very good.
Why have you not brought
this to me sooner?
Well, we have been trying
to reach you, sir,
but we faced nothing
but constant rejection.
Mm-hmm.
Until now.
Tell me,
who's been in charge
of your care?
My son Sadegh.
Are you saying my son
would deny me the best care?
Oh, no, of course not.
I'm sure he's looking out
for your best interests.
The important thing is
we're here now.
Let's hope it's not too late.
Sadegh!
Easy, take it easy.
Look.
Look, these men,
they are
working miracles.
That is wonderful, Father.
May I have a word with you,
Doctors?
So, what did you give him?
Amphetamines?
Steroids?
If you're implying
we're not who we say we are...
I'm not implying anything.
I know who you are.
You are just another
couple of con men
who have come here to prey on
my father's vulnerable state.
Look, I don't know who
was here before us,
but we can help your father.
Whoa, let's not get silly.
You are a couple
of miracle workers,
so that means if I were to
push this through your hand,
you can cure yourself, right?
If my father wants to believe in
a couple of charlatans,
so be it.
I will let a dying man
have some comfort.
But never forget,
I know who you are.
As long as we have
that cleared up.
What's the status of Mincemeat?
Operative Farmer is in country
with the latest addition
to the team.
And Signals Section
is standing by
to broadcast a fake SOS
from an unidentified plane
so the authorities
will be looking for a wreckage.
Good.
Have you had the chance
to inquire
about our imprisoned hikers?
We've been pretty busy
with Mehrak.
And do you have his ear?
Not yet, but his son Sadegh
almost had my hand.
With him hovering,
we're not going
to get anywhere near
those hikers.
Well... Rostam is on his way,
so that should move
the plan forward.
Well, hope
he's bringing an army,
because his brother's in charge
of the one here.
Now, bear in mind,
Your Excellency,
this much venom
can cause some numbness.
Which is quite normal.
Rostam!
Welcome home.
Yes, welcome, brother.
It's just a visit.
I-I wanted to see you.
Untrue.
I-I heard you're not well.
I am fine.
Even better now.
They are filling me
with venom from the sea.
Insane, no?
Its effects on your father have been
quite favorable.
Favorable? I could give this man
a run for his money
in a brothel.
Glad you're feeling better,
Father.
Especially if he keeps writing
you checks, right, brother?
I'm not here about money.
Oh, then,
to what do we owe the honor?
For the last ten years,
you couldn't put
enough distance between
yourself and this man.
Now when he's unwell,
you show up? Did you bring
a will for him to sign?
Guess any actual human emotion
would be foreign to you.
Don't worry, Rostam.
Your allowance will not stop
when I do.
I'm not here...
about my allowance.
But you are still
cashing the checks.
If I may just interject.
No.
Your father...
And if you interrupt again,
I will shoot you myself.
Well, then,
I need to interrupt.
Your father is our patient,
and this family circus is the
last thing he needs right now.
He needs his rest.
Yes. We will resume this later.
Doctors' orders.
"He that has no fools,
"knaves or beggars
in his family
was begot by a
flash of lightning."
It's Thomas Fuller.
Oh, trust me.
It's appropriate.
Okay?
Voila!
You like his suit?
From the best men's
store in Zurich.
Excellent drape.
Jacquard stitching.
Super-220
merino wool.
It is so refreshing
to work with someone
who appreciates the details.
His aftershave is Paul Moulin.
$30 an ounce.
Wow.
Vice President of
Zurich Merchants Bank.
Membership card
to the Swiss-American
Chamber of Commerce.
VIP to Madame Kitty's
Erotic Emporium?
Best cat house in the Zurich
red-light district.
You didn't want to go
with Cecile's place?
He's not that kind of guy.
That kind of guy?
He's a corpse.
He's a work of art.
And I'd appreciate it
if you'd treat him as such.
Grab his feet.
Excuse us.
What do you want?
We just wanted to make
sure you were all right.
Oh, so, you're psychiatrists,
as well as snake oil salesmen?
Maintaining a positive outlook
is critical
to your father's recovery.
All this family drama--
it can be disruptive
to the healing process.
Oh, well, then,
you'll be relieved to know
I-I won't be around
to disturb whatever
mystical healing energies
you're directing at my father.
Yes.
You're leaving?
It was a mistake to come.
That scene downstairs
was actually one of the more
civilized conversations
I've ever had with my brother.
If you'll excuse me...
Before you go,
there's something we were hoping
you could do for us.
There's four American
hikers being held.
Yes, I'm aware of the situation.
By your father.
What do you want me
to do about it?
We'd like to see them.
In your capacity as doctors.
It would be a
humanitarian gesture.
You're the ruler's son.
You could get us in.
Who are you really?
I think I met some of
your friends in London.
Doesn't matter who we are.
But those hikers are not spies.
They're just some kids
who took a wrong turn
and we want to make sure
they're all right.
Do one good deed before you go.
What?
You didn't realize that
places like this existed
in the loving bosom
of your own country?
I knew we had such places.
You just didn't
make the connection
they put actual people
in such places.
There they are.
Ma'am.
I'm not up on Maristanese,
but that sounded like a
right royal ass-chewing to me.
Who's that?
It's my old English tutor.
What's he doing here?
I don't know.
Mr. Sajadi,
do you remember me?
I've been in London all this
time, as you encouraged me.
I am not afraid of you.
Afraid of me? Why would
you be afraid of me?
I have done nothing.
My family has done nothing.
Why? I don't know what's going on.
Why are you in this place?
I am here because I am weak,
and you are powerful.
That's why I'm in this place.
Wait, Mr. Sajadi,
you have to tell me...
How are our hikers doing?
Scared to death,
but they're hanging in there.
There a problem?
"And now am I, if a man
should speak truly,
little better than
one of the wicked."
Shakespeare always cut right to
the heart of things, didn't he?
That man taught me everything.
Now look at him.
Look at them all.
Welcome, brother.
A little airplane debris
to keep it real.
Now for the coup de grace--
proof of deposit of
$5 million from the CIA
to the credit of President
for Life Mehrak's evil son.
Ready to launch.
Lord, by the power
of Your word,
you stilled the chaos
of the primeval seas...
Martinez.
What are you doing?
It's, uh...
It's a prayer
for burial at sea.
I thought I'd show
some respect.
Never mumble a prayer.
As we commit the earthly remains
of our brother to the deep,
grant him peace and tranquility.
Amen.
Amen!
You know what?
Sometimes, you get me
right in the ticker.
Yeah.
We good?
All right, he washes ashore
in about 15 minutes,
Mehrak's goons find the body,
our man Rostam takes
over the country,
and all is well with the world.
What happened?
Uh-oh.
"Uh-oh"?
It's gone. Done. We lost it.
First time that's happened.
Ever!
I did two buoyancy tests
on that body.
Bottom line,
we need another corpse.
Well. That's
unfortunate,
because we just intercepted
a communication
between Sadegh and his guards,
saying they've arrested
Operatives Dorset and Collins.
Okay. Then we need
another corpse soon.
Can you get another
body locally?
We'll find a volunteer.
One that floats.
What about documentation?
The password and ID
sank with the body.
I'll need some support
from headquarters on this one.
Well, then I'm your man.
Six years of printing and docs.
Talk about carpal tunnel.
Go ahead, guys, feed me.
He's vice president of
the Zurich Merchants Bank.
I'll need a Dubai work visa,
Swiss passport,
and proof of a payoff
from Langley to Sadegh,
so Mehrak'll pick Rostam.
Do you need to be
writing this down?
You're looking at a human
Polaroid. Photographic memory.
We'll need the passport
and those documents fast.
Oh, it'll be fast, Jack.
We'd love to stay and chat,
but we gotta go steal a corpse.
Well...
I never thought I'd say this
following those words,
but good luck.
They are spies.
That is the only explanation.
American spies.
Colluding with your son
to overthrow you.
Rostam took us
to see the prisoners,
so we could look
at their medical condition.
We are doctors.
Doctors?
You peddle magical fish venom.
By the way, I'm Scottish.
And your father
is markedly improved.
They're liars.
Execute them.
And send Rostam into exile.
What do you think, Rostam?
Are they liars?
I believe they are
who they say they are.
And I believe they
are helping you.
He is in league with them.
You do not want me to live.
Father.
This treatment is working.
Are you so eager
to take my place
that you wish
to hasten my death?
No.
And this... treatment,
it's not real.
Soon enough we will know.
Either I recover,
or I die.
And if that happens...
...you may do with them
what you wish.
Well, that's wonderful news.
We look forward to his input.
Thank you so much.
So?
Well, the White House
appreciates that
we've located the hikers.
But they won't approve
a rescue attempt,
for fear of risking casualties
and provoking
an international incident.
However, the vice president
has taken a particular interest
in this operation,
and his office would like me
to personally brief him
on developments
every hour on the hour.
Which means...
A total and complete
lack of confidence.
Exactly.
There's only one option
for all of us then.
Operation Mincemeat
has to succeed.
Look at this palooka.
Hands like a stone cutter.
That suit doesn't exactly scream
"Zurich banker," either.
Hey. I went to the best
men's shop in town.
It's not my fault that
every guy in this hellhole
dresses like Borat.
Where'd you get him, anyway?
The cemetery.
We grabbed the casket while
the gravedigger was on a break.
Do you have the paperwork?
Listen,
the first body was the winner.
But I guess this one
will do in a pinch.
Oh, good. Thanks.
And what if it doesn't?
What happens to Michael
and Billy?
Look,
at the end of the day,
we gotta dance
with the corpse we came with.
One last thing.
What are you doing?
It's not a passport
without a passport photo.
Could you open up
those eyes for me?
Please?
Say "cheese."
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
Thank you for putting in a good
word for us with your father.
I'm sure Sadegh's already
pouring more poison in his ears.
If I were to stay here,
and attempt to take power,
what kind of support
could I expect
from your country?
Logistics.
Communications.
Financial assistance.
Help in writing a constitution
and laws that protect
personal freedoms.
My brother would kill me first.
And my father
still supports him.
We have an idea about that.
No. No assassinations.
There's too much
blood here already.
There is an operation underway
to make you
your father's heir, and
it is blood-free.
No.
No? No, what?
No. No.
Do you understand what kind of
man you're asking me to be?
A decent one?
This is not a country that
is accustomed to decency.
Yes, It eats decent people
for breakfast.
And you can change it.
Change it how? Look at me.
I wouldn't know how to begin.
Winston Churchill,
John F. Kennedy,
Abraham Lincoln.
What you talking about?
Frivolous playboys.
Churchill took an entire
wine cellar with him
when he went to the Boer War.
Kennedy had so many
one-night stands,
his friends couldn't count
that high,
and Lincoln, well,
he consorted with prostitutes.
Honest Abe?
Google it.
And then Lincoln went on
to save the Union.
Kennedy, he faced down
the Soviet empire,
and Churchill, well,
he saved the entire Western
world as we know it today.
All you have to do
is reform one tiny
little country.
Wine and women optional.
Yes.
I understand.
My father wants to see us
right away.
Father?
Last night a small plane
violated our airspace
and went down in the sea.
The militia found this man
washed up on our shore
a few hours ago.
Might be a little late
to be calling for a doctor.
Do either of you
recognize this man?
No.
He seems to know one of you.
He was carrying a document
from a Swiss bank.
Apparently,
the CIA has been in business
with someone close to me.
This records the transfer
of $5 million
to that person's account.
Who is the traitor?
It is my son Rostam.
What?
Aided by these gentlemen,
no doubt.
Father I know
nothing about this.
Father. Don't do this.
I don't get it.
I mean, Farmer's work is usually
so top drawer,
but this, this is not the guy
we met in Virginia.
I'd be willing to look
past the wrong body,
if the document it was carrying
had the correct name on it.
Would either of you
care to explain
how this is part of your plan?
Love to, if we could.
Do you know the pain
it causes me
to be betrayed by my own son?
Father, I left here
because I could not accept
the way you treated our people.
I never hid that from you.
But I never betrayed you.
Never.
I never betrayed you.
I know the CIA is smart,
but I did not rise
from army corporal to president
for life because I am stupid.
What are you talking about?
They plant documents,
make me suspect my son,
but the documents are full
of errors; amateurish.
Contrived to divert suspicion
from the real traitor:
Sadegh.
I have contacted the army,
told them I have chosen
my successor.
You shall lead, my son.
Father!
Did not see that coming.
It was a bit random.
They were loyal
to your brother,
as is most of the palace guard.
You must get out of here.
If you can make it
to the Parliament building,
the army will protect you.
Can you do that?
Yes.
And what of your country?
Are you ready to lead
when I'm gone?
Yes, Father.
Then all you must do
is survive your brother.
Who are you calling?
We have a couple
of friends in town.
Hello?
Martinez, this is Dorset.
Where are you?
Been trying to find
a burger joint.
What do you think I'm doing?
What's your situation?
About to exit the palace
out the back entrance.
Can you make it to the bridge
near the east garden?
I don't know. Hang on.
Rostam, can we get to the bridge
over the garden?
Yeah.
We're on our way.
Where is he?
Thank you, brother.
I didn't think I'd have a chance
to kill you myself!
Good to go.
The hiker's plane
is on the ground
at Reagan National Airport.
Belada Mehrak expired at
0700 hours this morning.
The transfer of power
to his son Rostam
had already occurred
without incident.
The Navy divers were able
to locate and recover
the remains of
Mincemeat body number one,
Bob Saperstein.
He will be buried at Arlington.
His family has requested
that they be allowed.
Oh, by all means.
To keep the suit.
Sounds like all's well
that ends well.
I have just received a call
from the office
of the Vice President.
His motorcade is
on its way over.
Why?
Now.
He wants to personally
commend the operatives
who were involved in
rescuing the hikers
and effecting regime
change in Miristan.
How thoughtful.
That's good news, isn't it?
You're not the one throwing
together a commendation ceremony
in 30 minutes, Deputy Director!
I'm-I'm-I'm sorry.
I-m-I'm just under a lot
of stress right now.
I don't know about this
commendation stuff.
You got a job to do, you do it.
No need to pin a medal
on your chest.
Aw, lighten up, Farmer.
Enjoy the moment.
Something you care to share
with us, Blanke?
Words can't convey it.
I'll say it anyway.
Good, let's keep it that way.
The heroism, the pride.
Do you know who
came down here for this?
The Vice President himself.
I saw him with my own eyes.
I'll try to keep from swooning.
So which one of you
orators is gonna deliver
the gracious acceptance speech?
I say it should be Farmer.
It was his twist on the plan
that sealed the deal.
Even if it did scare the bleeding
hell out of us.
What are you talking about?
Putting Rostam's name on the documents
instead of Sadegh's,
knowing that Mehrak would
suspect the whole thing was
a ruse and using it
to our advantage.
Wait a minute.
It was Rostam's name
on the documents?
Uh-huh.
I told you Sadegh.
He's the guy we were setting up.
I made that crystal clear.
Tell him.
I definitely remember
you saying "Sadegh."
And I remember you bragging
about your photographic memory.
Oh, my God.
I...
Those names over there
are so confusing.
Because you screwed up...
The mission was a success.
But you guys could have died.
The bad son would
have taken over.
Violence, mayhem.
The hills of Miristan
running red
with blood.
Your blood. Oh.
I suggest we keep this
to ourselves.
Let me be the first
to welcome you to the CIA.
And this is the story of
America's great house of spies.
You've heard of office politics?
Ours come with poison pills
and guns.
Spy trap.
I knew this was going
to be a fiasco.
I've been assigned to a
special covert unit,
conceived to go where others can't,
and to do what others won't,
whether the mission's authorized or not.
We each have our own
special skill, Martinez.
I lead, Billy charms people,
Casey hurts people, and you translate.
We are the ODS, last of
the old-school spies.
This is a hospital?
It's more like a Ritz-Carlton.
It's a hospital
for billionaires.
Two bodyguards
outside Mehrak's room.
Did you get
his room service order?
Ten minutes ago.
He ordered mung bean porridge.
He's looted billions
from his national treasury
yet he chooses to order
mung bean porridge.
He was a man of simple
peasant tastes
before taking power by
slaughtering half his country.
Sure, but mung beans?
Even the words taste awful.
Is the orderly bringing it up?
An orderly is.
Room service.
Hot porridge.
No weapons.
Apologies, Mac.
You are here to kill me?
I need you to micturate
into this cup.
Micturate?
Micturate.
Sure.
One cup of dictator's
urine, as ordered.
Oh, that's so sweet.
The other boys only
ever bring me flowers.
Take it to the medical unit.
That urine sample was the last
piece of the puzzle needed
to identify Mehrak's
medical condition.
I love puzzles.
Sudoku guy.
Big-time.
Operative Blanke,
what are you doing here?
I saw you guys in the hallway--
thought you might be going for smoothies.
Now why would we be doing that?
Uh, smoothies are delicious.
What does Mehrak have?
Kidney disease?
Lung disease?
Heart disease?
They were all possibilities.
Bird flu?
We needed a sample of his
bodily fluids to know.
Aha.
Effective strategy.
Just like when Soviet
Premier Khrushchev
visited the United
States in 1959,
the Agency rerouted the plumbing
from his guest suite bathroom.
Messy business.
But good thing
urine is sterile.
Oh, it is. Unless
you've got a disease.
Which he does.
Liver cancer. Advanced.
Belada Mehrak,
leader of his nation,
president for life,
butcher of Miristan
has only weeks to live.
This is good, right?
This guy's a monster?
No, he's a son of a bitch.
This guy is a monster.
Mehrak's son-- Sadegh.
He's the designated heir.
Sadegh commands
the secret police.
He tortures for fun,
and will make his father
look like a humanitarian
if he ever makes it into power.
Which brings us to
our other problem.
Two weeks ago
four American hikers
were arrested as spies
for accidentally crossing
over into Miristan.
And once Sadegh is in charge,
he'll roast them
for sheer pleasure.
Exactly.
What about extraction?
We have no idea where they're being held.
Is that an option?
That country is a police state.
Every other building
is a prison.
So, if we aren't pulling them
out, what are we doing?
Making Mehrak change his mind
about who will succeed him.
He has another son,
lacks the family vicious streak.
Rostam.
He left his homeland
ten years ago to live in London.
He's a,
uh, part-time philanthropist
and full-time party boy
who's been spending
his father's money
for the past decade.
Quite wisely,
by the looks of things.
In the interest
of full disclosure,
I, um,
knew him... briefly in London.
Oh.
Were you two, uh...?
Slight acquaintances.
There you go.
All right, so all we have
to do is get an SOB dictator
to disown the son
who's a chip off the old block
in favor
of the frivolous playboy
who disowned him ten years ago.
Any thoughts?
Operation Mincemeat.
Uh-huh.
Mincemeat.
A classic.
One of the greatest
deception schemes ever.
1943.
The Allies were about to invade
Nazi-occupied Europe in Sicily.
They wanted to fool the Germans
into thinking
they were landing
somewhere else,
so they found a dead body,
and dressed it as
a military courier
carrying bogus invasion plans.
And then they faked
a plane crash at sea,
the Germans found the body,
read the plans,
and put their forces
in the wrong place.
Yeah, and Hitler lost, so it was
a happy ending.
Sounds great.
Where do we get a dead body?
Isn't he a beaut?
Lovely. Can we keep him?
He's all ours.
He's going to be a courier
from a Swiss bank
carrying documents showing
CIA payoffs to Sadegh,
Mehrak's heir apparent.
Mehrak's paranoid, right?
Typical dictator mentality?
Doesn't trust anyone?
Mm-hmm. He has beheaded
a cousin or two.
Ah. So we frame
the bad son.
Bad son gets his head
chopped off, our guy is in.
Looks familiar.
That's because
you saw his obituary
in the agency newsletter.
He was the deputy chief,
file records section.
He always wanted
to get into the field.
He's finally getting his chance
to serve.
He'd be so proud.
Operation Mincemeat?
Exactly. Then we just
wait for the corpse
and the phony documents
to wash ashore,
and to be discovered
by Mehrak's men.
Sounds grisly.
But it might just work.
There is one hurdle,
which I'll let
Martinez describe,
since the two of you
are sleeping together,
and there's an
emotional component.
Swaying the dictator
to choose Rostam
will be useless
if Rostam doesn't give up
his party life in Europe.
He needs to return
back to his homeland.
It's a tough order.
The Rostam I remember preferred
the French Riviera
to the muddy flats of Miristan.
That's exactly why
we need someone...
Someone female.
...to help
persuade him.
And she would have
to be beautiful,
charming.
Maybe somebody
that he already knows.
There's a charity ball
in London day after tomorrow
that he's scheduled to attend.
She could be there.
After, of course, she takes
the company credit
card to Giorgio Armani
and buys herself a ravishing
dress for the occasion.
Seriously,
you don't know where
we're headed with this?
Of course I do.
I just wanted to see what else
you were gonna bribe me with.
Sounds like fun.
I'll do it.
Great.
But even if Mincemeat works,
there's no guarantee that Dad
will choose the playboy son
over the psychopath.
Sadegh's been whispering
in his father's ear
for a decade.
That's why Dorset and Collins
will be whispering in the other.
St. Ignatius' pinky toe.
Wasn't St. Ignatius eaten
by lions 2,000 years ago?
Well, apparently,
the lions missed a bite.
And we're looking
at this because...?
Belada Mehrak spent a half
million dollars acquiring it.
Why?
It's believed
to have healing powers.
How's the toe
working out for him?
Evidently, not well.
Over the past six months,
he's been buying up
every religious relic
he can get his hands on.
He's seen quacks peddling
everything from shark cartilage
to invisible surgery.
He knows he's dying.
But can't accept it.
The Swiss doctors offered him
palliative care.
He decided to find a cure.
Another desperate narcissist
who thinks the world
can't go on without him.
He's looking for a miracle.
Maybe we can provide it.
You want to offer
a dying man a fake cure?
I know morally,
this is a gray area...
I love it. I'm in.
Okay.
One of our cover companies
in the health field has
reached out to Mehrak
and offered him an
experimental drug.
He's expressed interest, so
I'll go in posing as a doctor.
Billy can be my nurse.
Why would you be the doctor?
Because I studied
pre-med for two years.
And he has a God complex.
Don't be offended.
So do I.
Fine. We can both
be doctors.
Anyway, we'll administer
a cocktail of
adrenaline and steroids.
He'll feel great,
at least for a time,
and in that time,
he'll want to trust us.
Mission approved.
You hop on the father,
I'll hop on the son.
I misspoke.
Well, let me tell you, just wait
until the dancing starts.
Look at him go.
Three beautiful women
throwing themselves at him,
and Rostam acts like it's just
another Wednesday night.
Oh, it's easy to seduce women
when you have a vast fortune
and a megawatt smile.
Mm.
Kudos to his dentist.
Here comes Ferrer.
Holy moly.
Head in the game, Martinez.
Head in the game.
I cannot believe
you've never been to Ibiza.
It is the most beautiful island
in the world.
Rostam Mehrak?
My God. Is this Adele Ferrer?
Mm.
How, uh, lovely
to see you again.
And lovely to see you.
Mmm.
That's for my sister.
And her baby-- your baby.
What are you talking about?
It's okay. It's okay.
Ladies, wait.
This woman...
She was 16.
What are you...?
Wait, ladies.
That was delicious.
Order me one?
I never even met your sister.
Oh, I don't have one.
I just wanted to
be alone with you.
I didn't remember you
being a crazy person.
Well, people change.
Adele Ferrer.
Mmm. How have
you been?
I'm good, I'm good.
You're looking well.
She is extraordinary.
Yeah.
I really believe she
wants to sleep with him.
So...
You are the new doctors?
Yes, sir.
We've just arrived,
and we're eager to
start your treatment.
Have you disposed
of the last two doctors?
They're enjoying our hospitality
at the private facility.
Their therapy sounded promising.
But it had no effect.
I could only conclude
they were fakers.
What have you brought me?
The venom of the blue devil
octopus.
Ah.
Well...
We shall see.
I am ready for to get out now.
Doctors, hup, hup.
"Whatever
the patient needs."
Whew!
Maybe you should
go back downstairs.
Oh, he'll show.
Trust me.
What did you whisper to him?
I think it's important to have
secrets in this business,
don't you, Operative Malick?
Hi.
Sorry. I couldn't
get away until...
Oh.
I know I seem open-minded,
but this really isn't my thing.
Hello, Mr. Mehrak.
We were hoping
to speak with you.
Very well. Speak.
Mr. Mehrak,
you father and brother
brutally oppress
the people of Miristan.
Your country needs
something different.
United States is interested in you
returning home
and assuming
your rightful place.
Is that so?
Well, it's unfortunate
for the United States
that I don't give a damn
what it's interested in.
I'm returning to the party now.
You're welcome to join me.
I don't think you understand what
we're offering.
With our assistance, you could
become a very powerful man.
Power is overrated.
Look at me--
no power, but full of joy.
I intend to stay that way.
Good day.
Your father is dying.
He has cancer,
incurable.
He has a few weeks
to live at best.
Another lie?
No. Sorry.
That is the octopus venom?
One of the deadliest
substances found in nature.
One drop could kill
the average man.
But when diluted
in an alkaline medium
and injected
into the bloodstream,
it produces marked
anti-cancer effects.
Why have I never heard of this?
Drug companies
don't want you to know.
You see, they make so much more money
from the sick.
Now I don't want you
to be afraid of any dangerous
side effects.
I fear nothing.
Give me the full potency
of this venom, Doctor.
You are a very brave man.
Now, some of our patients
start to feel the effects
almost immediately.
Anything yet, sir?
I feel...
Good.
I feel...
Very good.
Why have you not brought
this to me sooner?
Well, we have been trying
to reach you, sir,
but we faced nothing
but constant rejection.
Mm-hmm.
Until now.
Tell me,
who's been in charge
of your care?
My son Sadegh.
Are you saying my son
would deny me the best care?
Oh, no, of course not.
I'm sure he's looking out
for your best interests.
The important thing is
we're here now.
Let's hope it's not too late.
Sadegh!
Easy, take it easy.
Look.
Look, these men,
they are
working miracles.
That is wonderful, Father.
May I have a word with you,
Doctors?
So, what did you give him?
Amphetamines?
Steroids?
If you're implying
we're not who we say we are...
I'm not implying anything.
I know who you are.
You are just another
couple of con men
who have come here to prey on
my father's vulnerable state.
Look, I don't know who
was here before us,
but we can help your father.
Whoa, let's not get silly.
You are a couple
of miracle workers,
so that means if I were to
push this through your hand,
you can cure yourself, right?
If my father wants to believe in
a couple of charlatans,
so be it.
I will let a dying man
have some comfort.
But never forget,
I know who you are.
As long as we have
that cleared up.
What's the status of Mincemeat?
Operative Farmer is in country
with the latest addition
to the team.
And Signals Section
is standing by
to broadcast a fake SOS
from an unidentified plane
so the authorities
will be looking for a wreckage.
Good.
Have you had the chance
to inquire
about our imprisoned hikers?
We've been pretty busy
with Mehrak.
And do you have his ear?
Not yet, but his son Sadegh
almost had my hand.
With him hovering,
we're not going
to get anywhere near
those hikers.
Well... Rostam is on his way,
so that should move
the plan forward.
Well, hope
he's bringing an army,
because his brother's in charge
of the one here.
Now, bear in mind,
Your Excellency,
this much venom
can cause some numbness.
Which is quite normal.
Rostam!
Welcome home.
Yes, welcome, brother.
It's just a visit.
I-I wanted to see you.
Untrue.
I-I heard you're not well.
I am fine.
Even better now.
They are filling me
with venom from the sea.
Insane, no?
Its effects on your father have been
quite favorable.
Favorable? I could give this man
a run for his money
in a brothel.
Glad you're feeling better,
Father.
Especially if he keeps writing
you checks, right, brother?
I'm not here about money.
Oh, then,
to what do we owe the honor?
For the last ten years,
you couldn't put
enough distance between
yourself and this man.
Now when he's unwell,
you show up? Did you bring
a will for him to sign?
Guess any actual human emotion
would be foreign to you.
Don't worry, Rostam.
Your allowance will not stop
when I do.
I'm not here...
about my allowance.
But you are still
cashing the checks.
If I may just interject.
No.
Your father...
And if you interrupt again,
I will shoot you myself.
Well, then,
I need to interrupt.
Your father is our patient,
and this family circus is the
last thing he needs right now.
He needs his rest.
Yes. We will resume this later.
Doctors' orders.
"He that has no fools,
"knaves or beggars
in his family
was begot by a
flash of lightning."
It's Thomas Fuller.
Oh, trust me.
It's appropriate.
Okay?
Voila!
You like his suit?
From the best men's
store in Zurich.
Excellent drape.
Jacquard stitching.
Super-220
merino wool.
It is so refreshing
to work with someone
who appreciates the details.
His aftershave is Paul Moulin.
$30 an ounce.
Wow.
Vice President of
Zurich Merchants Bank.
Membership card
to the Swiss-American
Chamber of Commerce.
VIP to Madame Kitty's
Erotic Emporium?
Best cat house in the Zurich
red-light district.
You didn't want to go
with Cecile's place?
He's not that kind of guy.
That kind of guy?
He's a corpse.
He's a work of art.
And I'd appreciate it
if you'd treat him as such.
Grab his feet.
Excuse us.
What do you want?
We just wanted to make
sure you were all right.
Oh, so, you're psychiatrists,
as well as snake oil salesmen?
Maintaining a positive outlook
is critical
to your father's recovery.
All this family drama--
it can be disruptive
to the healing process.
Oh, well, then,
you'll be relieved to know
I-I won't be around
to disturb whatever
mystical healing energies
you're directing at my father.
Yes.
You're leaving?
It was a mistake to come.
That scene downstairs
was actually one of the more
civilized conversations
I've ever had with my brother.
If you'll excuse me...
Before you go,
there's something we were hoping
you could do for us.
There's four American
hikers being held.
Yes, I'm aware of the situation.
By your father.
What do you want me
to do about it?
We'd like to see them.
In your capacity as doctors.
It would be a
humanitarian gesture.
You're the ruler's son.
You could get us in.
Who are you really?
I think I met some of
your friends in London.
Doesn't matter who we are.
But those hikers are not spies.
They're just some kids
who took a wrong turn
and we want to make sure
they're all right.
Do one good deed before you go.
What?
You didn't realize that
places like this existed
in the loving bosom
of your own country?
I knew we had such places.
You just didn't
make the connection
they put actual people
in such places.
There they are.
Ma'am.
I'm not up on Maristanese,
but that sounded like a
right royal ass-chewing to me.
Who's that?
It's my old English tutor.
What's he doing here?
I don't know.
Mr. Sajadi,
do you remember me?
I've been in London all this
time, as you encouraged me.
I am not afraid of you.
Afraid of me? Why would
you be afraid of me?
I have done nothing.
My family has done nothing.
Why? I don't know what's going on.
Why are you in this place?
I am here because I am weak,
and you are powerful.
That's why I'm in this place.
Wait, Mr. Sajadi,
you have to tell me...
How are our hikers doing?
Scared to death,
but they're hanging in there.
There a problem?
"And now am I, if a man
should speak truly,
little better than
one of the wicked."
Shakespeare always cut right to
the heart of things, didn't he?
That man taught me everything.
Now look at him.
Look at them all.
Welcome, brother.
A little airplane debris
to keep it real.
Now for the coup de grace--
proof of deposit of
$5 million from the CIA
to the credit of President
for Life Mehrak's evil son.
Ready to launch.
Lord, by the power
of Your word,
you stilled the chaos
of the primeval seas...
Martinez.
What are you doing?
It's, uh...
It's a prayer
for burial at sea.
I thought I'd show
some respect.
Never mumble a prayer.
As we commit the earthly remains
of our brother to the deep,
grant him peace and tranquility.
Amen.
Amen!
You know what?
Sometimes, you get me
right in the ticker.
Yeah.
We good?
All right, he washes ashore
in about 15 minutes,
Mehrak's goons find the body,
our man Rostam takes
over the country,
and all is well with the world.
What happened?
Uh-oh.
"Uh-oh"?
It's gone. Done. We lost it.
First time that's happened.
Ever!
I did two buoyancy tests
on that body.
Bottom line,
we need another corpse.
Well. That's
unfortunate,
because we just intercepted
a communication
between Sadegh and his guards,
saying they've arrested
Operatives Dorset and Collins.
Okay. Then we need
another corpse soon.
Can you get another
body locally?
We'll find a volunteer.
One that floats.
What about documentation?
The password and ID
sank with the body.
I'll need some support
from headquarters on this one.
Well, then I'm your man.
Six years of printing and docs.
Talk about carpal tunnel.
Go ahead, guys, feed me.
He's vice president of
the Zurich Merchants Bank.
I'll need a Dubai work visa,
Swiss passport,
and proof of a payoff
from Langley to Sadegh,
so Mehrak'll pick Rostam.
Do you need to be
writing this down?
You're looking at a human
Polaroid. Photographic memory.
We'll need the passport
and those documents fast.
Oh, it'll be fast, Jack.
We'd love to stay and chat,
but we gotta go steal a corpse.
Well...
I never thought I'd say this
following those words,
but good luck.
They are spies.
That is the only explanation.
American spies.
Colluding with your son
to overthrow you.
Rostam took us
to see the prisoners,
so we could look
at their medical condition.
We are doctors.
Doctors?
You peddle magical fish venom.
By the way, I'm Scottish.
And your father
is markedly improved.
They're liars.
Execute them.
And send Rostam into exile.
What do you think, Rostam?
Are they liars?
I believe they are
who they say they are.
And I believe they
are helping you.
He is in league with them.
You do not want me to live.
Father.
This treatment is working.
Are you so eager
to take my place
that you wish
to hasten my death?
No.
And this... treatment,
it's not real.
Soon enough we will know.
Either I recover,
or I die.
And if that happens...
...you may do with them
what you wish.
Well, that's wonderful news.
We look forward to his input.
Thank you so much.
So?
Well, the White House
appreciates that
we've located the hikers.
But they won't approve
a rescue attempt,
for fear of risking casualties
and provoking
an international incident.
However, the vice president
has taken a particular interest
in this operation,
and his office would like me
to personally brief him
on developments
every hour on the hour.
Which means...
A total and complete
lack of confidence.
Exactly.
There's only one option
for all of us then.
Operation Mincemeat
has to succeed.
Look at this palooka.
Hands like a stone cutter.
That suit doesn't exactly scream
"Zurich banker," either.
Hey. I went to the best
men's shop in town.
It's not my fault that
every guy in this hellhole
dresses like Borat.
Where'd you get him, anyway?
The cemetery.
We grabbed the casket while
the gravedigger was on a break.
Do you have the paperwork?
Listen,
the first body was the winner.
But I guess this one
will do in a pinch.
Oh, good. Thanks.
And what if it doesn't?
What happens to Michael
and Billy?
Look,
at the end of the day,
we gotta dance
with the corpse we came with.
One last thing.
What are you doing?
It's not a passport
without a passport photo.
Could you open up
those eyes for me?
Please?
Say "cheese."
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
Thank you for putting in a good
word for us with your father.
I'm sure Sadegh's already
pouring more poison in his ears.
If I were to stay here,
and attempt to take power,
what kind of support
could I expect
from your country?
Logistics.
Communications.
Financial assistance.
Help in writing a constitution
and laws that protect
personal freedoms.
My brother would kill me first.
And my father
still supports him.
We have an idea about that.
No. No assassinations.
There's too much
blood here already.
There is an operation underway
to make you
your father's heir, and
it is blood-free.
No.
No? No, what?
No. No.
Do you understand what kind of
man you're asking me to be?
A decent one?
This is not a country that
is accustomed to decency.
Yes, It eats decent people
for breakfast.
And you can change it.
Change it how? Look at me.
I wouldn't know how to begin.
Winston Churchill,
John F. Kennedy,
Abraham Lincoln.
What you talking about?
Frivolous playboys.
Churchill took an entire
wine cellar with him
when he went to the Boer War.
Kennedy had so many
one-night stands,
his friends couldn't count
that high,
and Lincoln, well,
he consorted with prostitutes.
Honest Abe?
Google it.
And then Lincoln went on
to save the Union.
Kennedy, he faced down
the Soviet empire,
and Churchill, well,
he saved the entire Western
world as we know it today.
All you have to do
is reform one tiny
little country.
Wine and women optional.
Yes.
I understand.
My father wants to see us
right away.
Father?
Last night a small plane
violated our airspace
and went down in the sea.
The militia found this man
washed up on our shore
a few hours ago.
Might be a little late
to be calling for a doctor.
Do either of you
recognize this man?
No.
He seems to know one of you.
He was carrying a document
from a Swiss bank.
Apparently,
the CIA has been in business
with someone close to me.
This records the transfer
of $5 million
to that person's account.
Who is the traitor?
It is my son Rostam.
What?
Aided by these gentlemen,
no doubt.
Father I know
nothing about this.
Father. Don't do this.
I don't get it.
I mean, Farmer's work is usually
so top drawer,
but this, this is not the guy
we met in Virginia.
I'd be willing to look
past the wrong body,
if the document it was carrying
had the correct name on it.
Would either of you
care to explain
how this is part of your plan?
Love to, if we could.
Do you know the pain
it causes me
to be betrayed by my own son?
Father, I left here
because I could not accept
the way you treated our people.
I never hid that from you.
But I never betrayed you.
Never.
I never betrayed you.
I know the CIA is smart,
but I did not rise
from army corporal to president
for life because I am stupid.
What are you talking about?
They plant documents,
make me suspect my son,
but the documents are full
of errors; amateurish.
Contrived to divert suspicion
from the real traitor:
Sadegh.
I have contacted the army,
told them I have chosen
my successor.
You shall lead, my son.
Father!
Did not see that coming.
It was a bit random.
They were loyal
to your brother,
as is most of the palace guard.
You must get out of here.
If you can make it
to the Parliament building,
the army will protect you.
Can you do that?
Yes.
And what of your country?
Are you ready to lead
when I'm gone?
Yes, Father.
Then all you must do
is survive your brother.
Who are you calling?
We have a couple
of friends in town.
Hello?
Martinez, this is Dorset.
Where are you?
Been trying to find
a burger joint.
What do you think I'm doing?
What's your situation?
About to exit the palace
out the back entrance.
Can you make it to the bridge
near the east garden?
I don't know. Hang on.
Rostam, can we get to the bridge
over the garden?
Yeah.
We're on our way.
Where is he?
Thank you, brother.
I didn't think I'd have a chance
to kill you myself!
Good to go.
The hiker's plane
is on the ground
at Reagan National Airport.
Belada Mehrak expired at
0700 hours this morning.
The transfer of power
to his son Rostam
had already occurred
without incident.
The Navy divers were able
to locate and recover
the remains of
Mincemeat body number one,
Bob Saperstein.
He will be buried at Arlington.
His family has requested
that they be allowed.
Oh, by all means.
To keep the suit.
Sounds like all's well
that ends well.
I have just received a call
from the office
of the Vice President.
His motorcade is
on its way over.
Why?
Now.
He wants to personally
commend the operatives
who were involved in
rescuing the hikers
and effecting regime
change in Miristan.
How thoughtful.
That's good news, isn't it?
You're not the one throwing
together a commendation ceremony
in 30 minutes, Deputy Director!
I'm-I'm-I'm sorry.
I-m-I'm just under a lot
of stress right now.
I don't know about this
commendation stuff.
You got a job to do, you do it.
No need to pin a medal
on your chest.
Aw, lighten up, Farmer.
Enjoy the moment.
Something you care to share
with us, Blanke?
Words can't convey it.
I'll say it anyway.
Good, let's keep it that way.
The heroism, the pride.
Do you know who
came down here for this?
The Vice President himself.
I saw him with my own eyes.
I'll try to keep from swooning.
So which one of you
orators is gonna deliver
the gracious acceptance speech?
I say it should be Farmer.
It was his twist on the plan
that sealed the deal.
Even if it did scare the bleeding
hell out of us.
What are you talking about?
Putting Rostam's name on the documents
instead of Sadegh's,
knowing that Mehrak would
suspect the whole thing was
a ruse and using it
to our advantage.
Wait a minute.
It was Rostam's name
on the documents?
Uh-huh.
I told you Sadegh.
He's the guy we were setting up.
I made that crystal clear.
Tell him.
I definitely remember
you saying "Sadegh."
And I remember you bragging
about your photographic memory.
Oh, my God.
I...
Those names over there
are so confusing.
Because you screwed up...
The mission was a success.
But you guys could have died.
The bad son would
have taken over.
Violence, mayhem.
The hills of Miristan
running red
with blood.
Your blood. Oh.
I suggest we keep this
to ourselves.