Central Russia's Vampires (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Episode 2 - full transcript

Here's our fugitive.

What's with the fangs?

Put the gun down.

It's plastic.

Made from the bite marks found
on the bodies in Mytischi and Yaroslavl.

Did I satisfy your curiosity?

Now we have three bloodless bodies.

So there was someone else in Veshki.

Who killed those guys
and then found this one.

Well done! You get an A.


I know that everything is slow here,
but let's be faster than this guy.

Call a team.

Yes, sure. I left my phone in my car.

Tell me the number.



Yes. +7...







Thank God.

How are you?

I don't know.

I must've passed out.

I came to the garage on a tip.

Baranovsky could be here, but here are you.


I was heading to the garage too.

And then...

I don't remember.

Are you sure you're okay?

Yes, I'm fine.

The garage is open.

There's no one inside.

And I'm lying there unconscious.

That's an interesting story.

Ivan, don't overcomplicate it.

Guys had a party yesterday.

Forgot to lock the gates.

Baranovsky isn't here.

And you don't feel well
after your yesterday's injury.

You broke it down nicely.

That's my job.

And now let's go get your head checked.

— No.
— You should.

We have enough brain-dead officers already.

Let's go.

Grandpa Slava, why are you even doing this?

Just chill out in your coffin.

No one will notice
if your sheet is wrinkled.

So I should live like cattle in a barn?

You care about your junk,
and I care about mine.

You're doing great.

The Grim Reaper is already looking for him.

And he's sitting here
tinkering with his thingies.

Stop scaring me with your Keepers.

What can they do to me?

The same thing they've always done.

I, state counselor
Vredikhin Pyotr Aleksandrovich.

Acting as the keeper of peace between
the people of Smolensk and vampires.

In the presence of the primogen vampire
Krivich Svyatoslav Vernidubovich.

Pronounce the guilt of...

Let me go!

Let me go!

Pronounce the guilt of the newborn vampire
Ivanka Karagot...

Charged with the murder
of kholop Matvey Sapronov...

Stable boy Kozma Sirkin...

And seven more people.

Will you disprove?

What's there to disprove?


As stated in the Treaty...

"An eye for an eye, because..."

And after that you do it.

You're so impatient.

And you, my dear sir, henceforth
choose your family carefully.

I don't get much pleasure from this either.

You're right. You're right.

It's her fault.

She thought that might goes before right.

That's a good observation.
I'll remember it if you don't mind.


Why am I to blame?

We shouldn't write the Countess off either.

She doesn't live with us.

She doesn't starve.

You think she couldn't do it?

What are you doing, bastard?

I'm sorry!


My hand! My hand!

Shut up, idiot!

Go pee on it.

What the hell?

It's healed.


Is this my superpower?

Your superpower is thinking with your ass.

And this is regeneration.

It's like a lizard growing its tail back.

Sort of.


I've got to do some business.

And you iron the sheets.


Better kill me.


Just wait.

— Good day!
— Hi!

Any news on Baranovsky?

Not yet.

We requested his cell phone records.

He lives with his parents.

No one answered the door yesterday.

The neighbors say they are the party type.

Could be partying.

— Should we search the apartment?
— No.

Not yet. Set up surveillance.

Will do.

Anna Petrovna.

Treat Captain.

He won't find anything like that in Moscow.

Smolensk treats.


What's this if I may ask?

An impression from the bite marks
found on the victims' bodies.

I don't remember taking it out today.

If you made an impression,
you must think it's an animal?

I can think anything.

But the fact remains.

There are bite marks on the bodies.
They belong to someone.

There are only a few options.

Either it's an animal.

A maniac or a lunatic.

— Or...
— Or a vampire?

Are you serious?

No, I'm not.

It's just to entertain you, Captain.

Have you had memory problems before?

Only when I got drunk in college.

You need to do an MRI.


Okay. We fixed the scanner two days ago.

As if we knew you would come.

This way.

Come in. Lari, we have an emergency.

Jean Ivanovich, I'm on a break.


You can't refuse me after
everything we will have.

Come in, lie down,
make yourself comfortable.

Lari will do everything.

Sounds promising.

Come in.


Was it you who made the guy
lose his memory?

Yes, it's my fault.

Mon dieu. Who's this?

Your Baranovsky.

Looks like he had a reason to escape.

Someone got to him
in a garage by the river.

Hide him please.

What do you mean, hide him?

You're putting me
in a really uncomfortable position.

— Does he know?
— No.

Hi, Grandpa!

The hospital yard isn't
the best place for a walk.

I was on my way to you.

To have a conversation.

And I saw Anya's catafalque.


What do you have in there?

Show it to Grandpa, will you?

It's nothing.

Are you fooling me, girl?

Okay, I'm off.

I'll bring the cart.

Holy copper and other metals!

Who's the guy?

The third one from Veshki.

And why do you keep him in the hood?

He's bloodless too.

If the Keepers learn about it,
they'll hang another murder on us.

That's not good, girl.

First we hide dead bodies.

And then we'll be breaching the law.

If we all get executed,
no one will be left to follow the law.

He doesn't care when we find him,
and we need to win some time.

Hurry up!

Done! I'll be in touch.

Just stay out of trouble, will you?

I will.

What a woman!

Arguing with her is like eating soap.

Let's go.

I keep thinking about the Countess.

So you don't believe in that lover story?

I don't believe there's another man
besides you who fell for that ulcer.

All right.

Why would she help us then?

To divert suspicion.

We would've found that garage anyway.

And she makes it look like
she's participating.


What do you think?

If I knew what's going on
in this woman's head...

I wouldn't have divorced her.

Or married.

I've been thinking one thought...

About how we can expose her.

It's just...

I can't do it without you.

What? Let's go.

Fyodor Ivanovich, you're walking
near me now...

But already you are so far from me.
And not only you...

Speak out, I entreat you!

Okay, stop.

Guys, this is all wrong.

Let me remind you...

Liza was raised by an indifferent woman.

And Lavretsky's mother faded away
being unable to raise her son.

That's why they have
different personalities.

And you need to show these personalities.

But what does his mother
have to do with it?

Selivanov, did you read the novel?

I listened to the audiobook.



It used to be considered unacceptable
not to know Turgenev.

To what do I owe the pleasure?

Jean told me that on the night
of the Veshki murder you were not alone.

It's too late for him to be jealous.

I'll tell you this...

I definitely didn't go to Veshki
that night.

Don't you believe me?

It doesn't matter what I believe.

What matters is whether
the Keepers will believe it.

Can you show me your lover?

Just for illustrative purposes.

Should I show you what we were doing too?

For illustrative purposes.

Olya, girl, don't be mad at me.

It's just that another
bloodless body was found.

Of your student.

Who escaped from the hospital.

In that garage you told us about.

They found him there.

So we all have to prove we're innocent.

We're lucky that Jean has a method now.

What method?

He takes our blood and determines
whose blood we drank.

You should go to him.

And if there's no victims' blood in you,
you're innocent.

I don't want to participate
in questionable experiments.

Either you give your blood.

Or I turn you to the Keepers.

Go get tested.

And we'll live happily ever after.

Don't say that.

Then just ever after.

Speak out, I entreat you.

Speak out, I entreat you!

Cried Lavretsky.

What do you mean?

What do you mean?

Fyodor Ivanovich, goodbye!


Don't come after me. Leave me!

Liza, I beg you!

Don't leave!


That's how you should run from him.

Not lazily.

Bring some life, goddammit.

Take my advice,
stay in bed at least one day.

I'd love to, but our job
leaves no time to rest.

If you don't want to rest now,
you'll soon rest in the grave.

You know how to comfort people.

Mors certa, vita incerta.
Death is certain, life is uncertain.

The air here is amazing.

Not like in Moscow.

The air is good, but you'd better
close the window, or you'll catch cold.

Okay, Captain.

I'll work from home today.

I need to find matches between
Mytischi, Yaroslavl, and Veshki.

We can do it together if you have time.


Is this the influence of our air?

Don't be mad at me for yesterday.

You were too pushy.

And today I'm not pushy?

Not yet.

That's quite a compliment.


The bodies in Yaroslavl
didn't have catheter marks.

Only bites.

In Mytischi, both bites and catheter marks.

You know what's in Veshki.


This isn't my first serious case.

What? I'm serious.

I solved lots of cases.

I have no doubt that
you're a very professional policeman.

About your laptop...

The guys from the IT department
are working on it.

But the chances are small, you know.

It was public Wi-Fi.

Holy crap!

Don't just stand there. Get the knife.




Tell me, what did life do to you?

He fell in love.

They were dating, and everything was fine.

And when it came to doing it...

His fighter wasn't ready.

To perform its duties.

And the girl dumped him.

Said that she wanted to fuck
not to hold hands.

Right, Zhenyok?


You couldn't do it, so what?

It was your first time. You were nervous.

It happens.

Really, dude?

To kill yourself because of some dumb slut?

Believe me...

When the time comes,
you'll be shagging girls in packs.


See? Captain knows what he's talking about.

Okay, I'll be in my room.

— I mean your room.
— Yes, let's go study the files.


You'll have time to study the files.

Stay with him.


What the hell was that?

What the hell was that?

What are you doing?

I tested regeneration.
Grandpa Slava showed me.

— It's fun.
— It's fun?

Wanna try again?

Are you all right?

Get to work. We're fine.

Right, brother?

Slight screwanto.

How much longer do we have to wait?

Don't rush it, Jean.

Don't rush.

Between planting seeds...

And harvesting crops...

Plants need to grow.

You've been conducting experiments on
crossing yourself with women for 200 years.

And what's the results?

Yes, I have no results yet.

But there is a theoretical possibility
to breed a new race.

Well, then continue your work, professor.

A mulatto came to us for internship.

Ksyusha Njogu.


And this target group wasn't covered yet.

Okay, if she doesn't come
in five minutes...

I'm going to the morgue.

She'll come. She will.

She's batshit crazy...

But not a fool.

She knows that if she doesn't come...

It means she's guilty.

And if she's guilty, she'll come anyway.

To make a deal with you for old times' sake
and get away with it.


I told you. You just need to erect
the monument, and pigeons will come.


Yes, I'm here.


She's here!


If she starts wiggling her tail again,
I'll take her straight to the Keepers.





The Countess is a rare sight at our humble
abode of the servants of Hippocrates.

It sounds too pompous.

I would call it a cesspool
of your washed-up nurses.

Are you alone?

As you see.


We're no strangers to each other.


We used to be.

Tu m’aimeras et tu t’en irais. Une petite…

Je t’aime plus qu’un…

That's why I'm asking you
for a small favour.

Do it quickly.

I'm in a hurry.

There's nothing left. We drank it all up.
Jean will bring some in the evening.

What's going on with me?

It's the side effect of regeneration.
You spent a lot of energy hurting yourself.


I'm listening.

Don't we have a stash?

Okay. I'm on my way.

What's up, loverboy?

Feeling better?

Yes, thank you.

I need to go to the station.
The lab report came in. I'll be right back.


We can't leave him alone.

He's fine.


I'll stay with him.

Okay. Thanks.

No, you're right.

He needs someone from the family.


I'll go to the station.

I might fall asleep,
and he'll hang himself again.

Okay. I'll be in touch.

The exit's that way.

— I'll walk you to the door.
— Let me.

And when will I be acquitted?

Considering the age of our equipment,
I wouldn't expect a quick result.

At least the old lunatic
will leave me alone.

And don't play with me, Jean.

Because there are things besides
our long lost love that we still share.

Forget it as a nightmare.

I see you still remember.

You said you were in a hurry.

So she's not the killer.

Alas, her blood can't tell us anything.


Why did you start talking to her in French?

There are things she doesn't
understand in Russian.

I would learn French only because
of the beautiful swear words.

Don't you want to taste it?

Why not? She drank your blood.

Were you really going to bite him?

Are you that stupid?

I want blood, and there's food right under
my nose. Besides, you already ate some.

Do you realize that you ruin all my plans?

Do you have plans for him?

Are you in love?

Because of you I haven't seen
the files on Mytischi and Yaroslavl yet.

And this is the only way
to track our killer.

Okay. I'm sorry.

I'm off to the station. Don't go anywhere.

And clean this mess up.

See? People are coming over.

Well, mon Cher.

You looked much better yesterday.



Just like that. This isn't Baranovsky.

But it all fitted.

The garage, the bite marks.

The gown.

People steal hospital gowns all the time.

But this is Baranovsky's gown.

Uncle Jean, are you coming?

I'll be dead before that.

I hate to break it to you,
but you won't die in the nearest eternity.

At least not from hunger.

So, there are multiple blunt-force injuries
on his head and face.

It could be a tire iron
or some kind of pipe.

First they killed him
and then took his blood.

Here are the catheter marks.

It means that Baranovsky
came to the garage.

It's not my domain,
but may I suggest that....

Baranovsky is the killer?

Well, we do find corpses
everywhere he goes.

How long can he stay here?

Don't worry.

The inhabitants of this sombre dormitory
will hardly complain.

Captain! How are you?

How's everything?

I'm fine, thank you.

Fine means nothing.

It should be great.

It'll be great when we find the killer.

We will.

If you have any questions,
come straight to me, okay?

We can settle them here together.

And you won't have to settle them
in Moscow without us.



By the way, is Ostroumova
an experienced officer?

Or was she on maternity leave
half her career?

No, she's experienced.

She's been with us for ten years.

Without any reproduction breaks.

Why? Any trouble?


I just want to know who I'm working with.

She's smart.

Really smart.

Pushy. But smart.

You'll get along.



Have you seen Anna Petrovna?

The lab results came in.

She's away on family emergency.

I picked them up.


Just let Anna Petrovna know.

Just for the record.

Is she strict?

No. She just likes
everything to be in order.

Is it hard to have a woman in charge?

It doesn't matter if it's a good person.

Is she good?

Yes, she's great.

Why do you all praise her so much?
Are you afraid of her?


Is she some big guy's daughter? Or wife?

No, sir.

May I go?


Does it go to Binskaya?

What are you doing, faggot?

Back off!


Anya, what's the matter?

The Moscow guy is displeased.

He's asking me if you can handle it.

Whether you are professional enough.

I vouched for you of course.

But don't fail me, Anya.

Show this Moscow sucker
that we are no amateurs here.

Anna Petrovna, the lab results are...

Yes, I know.

Good. And one more thing.

Baranovsky didn't come home.

But we reached his parents.

Great. We'll go there now.

And one more thing...

The Moscow captain asked about you.


But we are no fools here either.

Thank you, Zakhar.

You're here.

— How's your brother?
— I left him with Grandpa.

Here's my personal file. It's all in there:
education, awards, wounds, reprimands.

In proof of my qualifications, so to say.

Send it back to the HR
when you're done.

— I didn't ask for it.
— Isn't it better than asking around?

And here's the deal.

If you want to know something
about me, ask me.

Do you have a boyfriend?


Do you have a boyfriend?

What does it have to do with my job?


I wanted to ask, so I'm asking you.


Make way, jerks!

What did you say, moron?

I said, "Make way, comma,
jerks, exclamation point."

Leave him, mate, he's wasted.

Behave yourself, freak.

Why are we stuck?

Letting the mayor's motorcade pass.

It feels like Moscow sometimes.

You can be stuck for hours.

At least something is like Moscow.

But we are in a police car.

Are you joking, Captain?

No one cares about that.

In regard to "no one cares,"
it's really like Moscow.


While we have time...


February 2.

The victims are two guys.

22 and 23 years old.

They have bite marks.

The bodies are drained of blood.

The Mytischi murder took place
the next day.

Also a man.

Also bloodless.

And he has catheter marks on his arm.

Were the victims connected?

Absolutely not.

As for hard evidence,
there's none in Mytischi.

In Yaroslavl, they found a strange button.

Allegedly, the beginning
of the last century.

1920s. Glebovets Brothers Factory.


I'll take a picture.

That's it. We can go.

He was fast today.

I'm not even going to ask
why you got beaten.

Because you deserve it.

Grandpa Slava!

What's wrong with me?

You must've stabbed yourself
with a knife all day.

And watched it get healed. Right?

How do you know?

You think you're the first?

Am I going to stay like this?

I wish.

Drink some blood,
and you'll be as good as new.

Let this be a lesson to you.

I told you to stay at home and sit tight.

Did you iron the sheets?


Grandpa Slava, please!

Grandpa Slava!

Damned if I know
when was the last time he spent the night.

What's the date today?

He got himself a girlfriend, I guess.

Who's she?

He doesn't report to us.

He comes, grabs some lunch,
and goes out again.

That's what these songs drove him to.

I already have an alcoholic.

The last thing I need is a convict.

This alcoholic feeds your ass!

What's the date of the Mytischi murder?

The third...

Of February.

Put him on the wanted list.

Listen, I want to grab something to eat.

Zakhar! Find Captain something to eat.

Bon appetit!

And watch your head.

What a club-handed creature!


Jean, give me blood.

You're on a diet today.

There was a major accident.
All the blood went there.

Hi, Grandpa!

Damn it! I'm gonna die.

You won't die.
But you'll have some rough time.


You're a moron.

But you're our moron.

Me and Mr. Stalin have a bloody secret.

Open your mouth.

Keep your mitts off!

It's medicine.

Take it slowly, in drops.

Open your mouth.

You must've been sent to us for our sins.

I still don't understand
why you converted him.

I needed to. That's why.

Now everyone's here.

What can our police woman
tell me and Mr. Stalin?

Baranovsky and his band had a concert
in Mytischi on the day of the murder.

Now it all adds up.

So he was in Veshki.

He was in Mytischi.

But he didn't die in the garage.

But he has no connection
to the Yaroslavl murder.

But that's what they found there.

A button.

Looks like any other button in the world.

A button...

A button...

I'll be damned!

Captain! Since you're still here,
here's Baranovsky's cell phone records.



No answer.

Let's hope she won't go on the run.

I think it's time to take her by the ass.

— Let's go.
— Let's go. Let's go.

Grandpa Slava, can I come with you?
I'm a vampire too.

Sure you are.

Developmentally challenged.

Grandpa Slava!

I see you've got your strength back.


That's great.

You'll need it today.


She changed the lock.

Why don't you answer the door?

Maybe I don't want to.

The whole family is here!

At such a late hour.

— To what do I owe the pleasure?
— Don't pretend you don't know.

Olga, try to remember
what you did on February 2.

It's easy. I was in Yaroslavl
with my theater.

Does this button come from your dress?

Could be.

Where's the dress?

Things have a nasty quality
of going out of fashion.

If you know what I mean.


This button was found
near the bodies in Yaroslavl.

If you know what I mean.

I gave some of my dresses
to the local museum.

And some to the student theater.

We played The Cherry Orchard in Yaroslavl.

Ranevskaya wore this dress, I think.

And what's this about?

Are you accusing me?

Jean, tell them I'm not the killer.

You checked my blood. Tell them I'm clean.

I'm sorry, Olga, by the test was a fake.

Is this Baranovsky?

As you can see, he's alive.

And pretty much functional.