Catherine the Great (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - Episode #1.4 - full transcript

The river trip
was a great success.

She saw what I had done
in the Crimea and she wept.

In awe.

And did you tell her you were
fucking half its population?

Oh, believe nothing
of what you hear about me.

I only sleep with women I like.

Mind you, they are a very
likeable bunch in the Crimea.

Oh, my God!

Oh.

Yes. Countess Bruce,
may I introduce

my adjutant Valerian Zubov.



And his brother, Platon.

Where have they
been keeping you?

Minsk.

Come. I'd like you
to meet the Empress.

Story of my life.

Pleasure.

Your Majesty.

May I introduce Platon Zubov?

Your brother
has done us good service.

Welcome to court.

It is a great honour
to meet Your Majesty.

And what brings you here?

Are you interested in politics?

The situation in France?



You find that disturbing?

I am afraid I have absolutely
no understanding of politics

Your Majesty.

Well, thank God for that.

Anyone who says they
understand politics is an idiot.

Come.

Your Majesty...

The Turks have locked
our ambassador to Istanbul

in the Fort of the Seven Towers.

It is a curious way
of declaring war.

It's the way they always do it,
my friend.

I don't care how
the fucking Turks declare war.

I don't care if they dance
around in a circle

wave their baggy trousers
over their collective heads.

Do you wish me to organise
a declaration of war

Your Majesty?
- I do indeed.

How do you want us
to declare war, Your Majesty?

In a very loud voice,
and ring some bells.

Now!
- Yes, Your Majesty.

And you'd better recall
Alexei Orlov to court.

Matushka, no!

You need help.

Matushka, please!

Why do people who declare war

think they're going to win?

Wouldn't they be better off

not announcing who they're
going to try and kill?

From Orlov?
I need help from Orlov?

Is that why you're recalling
Orlov from court?

You can't do this on your own.
You're getting old. You're ill.

Nonsense!

I'm fine. Huh?
I'm perfectly fine.

Why do you want
to run this war anyway?

I mean, what is it?
You love killing people?

Oh, come on.
You know it's not that.

And I never said that I wanted
this war in the first place.

What is it then? Glory?

I would like to remind you

that you owe all of your
advancement to me.

You owe all of your money,
all of your palaces

and all of your military power
to me.

I own you. Don't forget that.

Please, Matushka.

All I'm saying
is that we don't need Orlov.

That is all I'm saying.
Jesus fucking Christ!

I don't like
reminding you of your place.

But sometimes I have to.
You know that.

And I know that I have built
a huge empire of my own.

I wanted you to see it, Matushka

because I did it for you.

For Russia.

I am loyal.

I am utterly loyal.

I know that.

But you do need help.

And what do you need?

Probably a good fuck.

HE LAUGHS

Company... halt!

What the hell are
your German soldiers doing here?

They are expressly forbidden
to approach this palace.

You know that.

I have come to offer
my four battalions, Mother.

Over a thousand men.

For the war.

I want to do something.

Staying at home with your wife
is the best thing you can do.

Russian soldiers may not have
the shiniest boots in the world

but they have courage.

They have the desperate courage
of the decent poor.

Something you will never
understand

because you have had nothing
but a life of privilege

and false entitlement.

Now put your toy soldiers
back in their box!

Order them out of here now!

Shoulder arms!

About face!

Forward march!

Move out!

Her Majesty has given me command

of both the army and the navy.

My good friend Count Rumiantsev

has been brought in
to share the command

because Her Majesty
thinks that I'm getting

too big for my boots.

- No, no, no, no.

She is right.

I'm getting much too big
for my boots.

Bring me bigger fucking boots!

What?

This is the uniform I wore

when I took the throne
many years ago.

The security of everyone
in this room

depends on my hanging on to it.

Everyone.

Now, I like peace.

But I do not dislike
the great events of war.

Now, as you know,
this is Ochakov.

The Turks' major fort
on the Black Sea.

They say it can't be taken.

I want you to disprove
that notion.

- Ah, Count Orlov.

I'm glad you could join us.
- Welcome, Orlov.

I have offered my services
to Her Majesty in this war.

Our navy served her well
in the Black Sea.

Your Majesty,
we will do our best...

Please, can you pass me my boot?

But we will do it slowly.

We will not enter this war to
squander Russian lives easily.

No, you're going into it
to cut short Turkish lives

as many of them as possible.

We will take Ochakov, we will.

But we need to lay siege to it.

It will take some time.

So...

I'm more than happy
for Count Orlov to serve.

Under my command.

Under your command?

You heard me. If you've got a
problem with that

if you can, there's the door.

Your Majesty...
is he asking for my resignation?

I think he is.

If you won't serve under him.

And are you going to allow that
to happen?

He is the Commander in Chief.

But I am sure you can do us
great service.

Your Majesty.

I wanted to go to war
with my brother

and Prince Potemkin.

My brother said no.

He's always looked after me.
Almost too much.

My dream would be to serve under
Prince Potemkin.

Oh, he can't have everything
for himself.

Shouldn't he have charge
of all of it?

Army, navy...

Why not the civil service?

They don't do anything, do they?

You work too hard...

You don't want
an old woman like me.

Don't say that.

How did you get on
with your mother?

I loved her.

But that has nothing to do...

with...
- With what?

With you.

I'm never conscious of your age.

You just... are.

And you're always occupied.
Always at the centre of things.

You're young.

You always will be.

End of story.

This is all completely
new to me.

You're so kind,
Masha, thank you.

He will love staying
with you, I'm sure.

Won't you, Sashenka?

Yes, of course I will.

I know how much
he loves coming here

and I try to encourage him
in that.

Because...
- Because?

He has doubts about
staying with me?

No, no.

You know how children are.

They need their mothers.

Yes, of course.

OK. Off you go!

So, how is Paul?

I hear that
he's a little too interested

in one of your maids of honour.

Katerina Nelidova.

Tell your husband
to be very careful.

I like you, Maria.

But he...

He must show himself capable

and worthy of ruling
this country.

Sashenka! Wave goodbye to Mama.

Goodbye, Mother!

Bye!

So, Sashenka, my little prince.

I want you to sign
a document for me.

OK.

What exactly was it
that I signed, Granny?

Well, it's a letter of intent.

Look, why don't you read
that little bit to me?

"I, Alexander

acknowledge my father
is not fit to rule

and that I will take the throne

"when the Empress Catherine
dies..."

Good.

Good.

Now...

This is going to be
our little secret.

Alright?

You're not to tell
anybody about this.

No, Granny. Promise.

Good.

We'll get him back
sooner or later.

No, she has stolen him.

While she honeys and makes love
over that nasty sty...

She dotes on our son.

That is good for us, Paul.

What are we going
to do about her?

You have to hold your nerve.

Never look as if
it's getting to you.

The closer you are to her,
the better for us.

She isn't getting any younger.

My mother is poisoning
the boy against me.

That is her general
tactic in politics.

Divide and rule.

But I am genuinely concerned
that she may be

no longer quite capable

of properly
sustaining government.

And I am not being disloyal,
Maria Feodorovna.

He has genuine concern.
Mother is in thrall to Potemkin.

She's given him everything.

He's running Ochakov
exactly how he wants to.

He's completely out of control.

He will destroy her.

Unless we destroy him.

When we think we have it all,
that's when we lose everything

Your Excellency.

I am not going to be made
of no account.

I am not going to sit
in the corner

while my mother struts
around the stage.

And all my mother listens
to are flatterers.

Oh yes, Your Excellency.
You're absolutely right.

Which is why I have asked
young Zubov here today, sir.

I know how upsetting you find
the arrival of these...

young men in your mother's life.

You think we can use this one,
do you?

How?

To make a final break
between her and Potemkin.

We don't have to do
very much at all.

- Come up, Zubov!

We're just discussing

Potemkin's campaign
in the Crimea.

Who are you writing to?

Prince Potemkin.

Ah.

He won't do as he's told.

I always do what I'm told.

I know you do.

It's a very attractive quality.

But one not often found
in generals, I fear.

I heard someone say that he...

Hm? That he...?

What?

I can't even remember
who it was.

It's not worth repeating.
- No, no, what?

Some people are saying
he's lost his nerve.

He's frightened
to attack Ochakov.

It's because all he thinks about
is power and money.

And girls.

And he wants my job.

Do they say that?

They said all sorts
of dreadful things.

And I wanted to say,
"How dare you?"

You know?

"How dare you?
What have you done?"

But I didn't.

Because I...

really am a very
unimportant person.

You're not unimportant to me.

So, when do we go in?

Not yet. We wait.

And bore them into surrendering,
is that the idea?

I don't like losing men,
General.

I know you're
a compassionate man

and I respect your desire
not to waste lives

but Ochakov is not Troy.

We do not have ten years.

The fact is, she's had enough.
She expects you to attack.

Did she tell you
to say that to me?

If she's got something to say,
she can say it herself.

Is she a general?

Who's in charge here?
- She is!

Chain of command. Obey orders.
Kill the bastards.

We wait! OK? We wait!

We starve them into surrender.

What's the matter,
my old friend?

We wait, OK?

Show them out.

After you, sir.

Because he has such lovely
black hair

we girls call him "Blackie".

Colonel Zubov is a very handsome
young man.

At one point in my life

I thought I was going to be
handsome.

But it turned out
not to be the case.

Oh...

What's he like, this Zubov?

People say he's nice

but some people say
he's a scheming little bastard

don't they?

Have you formulated a View?

Madam,
I am in the civil service.

Give me time.

I say he's a scheming
little bastard

and will ruin us all.

I..-

I am a great admirer
of Potemkin.

He is away risking his life
for all of us.

I don't want Blackie
to wreck things

between Madam
and Potemkin because...

Because?

You really love each other.

You were the most
beautiful couple.

Really, I have never seen love
like it, Your Majesty.

Blackie,
this is the Countess Bruce.

She's just leaving.

Your Majesty.

More letters from her,
all urging me to attack...

Well, seeing as no-one
gives a fuck

whether we live or die,
let's attack.

God help us.

Gentlemen, let's attack!

We attack now!

In line! Now or never.

Move! For Russia!

We go for the Stamboul gate!

Gentlemen,
there will be no retreat.

The guns will breach the wall
and we shall take the town.

The town is taken.

Ochakov is ours!

Help!

We need to get Her Majesty
down here. Catherine.

Catherine! Your Majesty?

Silence for your Empress!

Russia is no longer
crawling to Europe.

We are a great nation

and the world has been forced
to recognise that fact.

We have an empire now,
a Russian Empire

free from Europe.

And we fight like no-one else!

Silence for your Empress!

Russia has taken her place
among the great nations

and it is a position
we will never give up.

Potemkin! Potemkin!

Potemkin! Potemkin!

I can't tell you
what a privilege it is

to be here with you,
Prince Potemkin.

Well, it's certainly a lot safer
than Ochakov.

- Just.

The German and the English
ambassadors

have requested an audience
with the Council.

We must assume it is serious.

Bring them in.

Eure Majestät.

Wir haben eine ernste
Ankündigung zu machen.

Any language but German!

Your Majesty.

We apologise for interrupting
the business of the council

but we have a very serious
announcement to make.

Unless the Russian government

return the fortress of Ochakov
to the Turks

both England and Germany
will declare war on you.

What?

I think we should discuss this
in the other room, privately.

Do you indeed?

If you think for one moment,
I will go crawling to Germany

then you...
- With respect, Your Majesty

we... what Prince Potemkin
is trying to say...

Your Majesty

we must have a response
by tomorrow morning.

And you will have one.
- No, no.

When we have taken the time

to consider our response.
- No, I will not be dictated...

That is all!

You do not presume to speak
over my head

to a foreign ambassador
in the presence of the Council!

Not tolerate our position on
the Crimean peninsula.

Might I remind you...
- With Constantinople...

I supply you
with millions of rubies

to finance not only your women
but your armies...

Might I remind you,
I waded through blood for you!

You wanted to swallow
the Ukraine, Crimea

cross the Black Sea,
Constantinople, and I did it!

You wanted that too!
- I did it!

But I don't discuss it

in front of the Council
with a bunch of foreigners!

With that two-faced little boy!

He's not two-faced.
- He is so!

If that's what you thought
of him, why didn't you

say so earlier?
- They laugh at you, ha-ha-ha!

How dare you!

I dare!

You're ill.

Yes, I'm fucking ill.

Why?
Why are you being like this?

Oh, God...

There's a disease down there.

Matushka, a disease.

I spend most of my nights
coughing my guts up.

Surrounded by men and women
and children

children I slaughter for you,
like cattle.

Why are we both like this?

Yes, I've got no idea either.

I've got no idea.

Please, come on. Come on.

We wanted power and glory

we have it,
and look what it's done to us.

This is such an old, old story.

Your Majesty.

Some fucking privacy, please!

You remember this?

I do.

Of course.

I'm going to give a big dinner
for you tomorrow evening.

A farewell
before you go back south.

Yes, back down south
to build more cities

and kill more people.

Hm?

Why? For whom?

For me, I suppose.

I am the state, Grishenka.

I have no life of my own left.

I'm going to give you
another palace.

Yes, well, that's what you do

for all your old lovers when
you've finished with them.

You know I could never
let you go.

We're committed to each other,
you know that.

Do I really?

I see the way you look at me
since I've been back.

You're tired of my victories.

You think I'm a threat.

You think that I want
the throne.

Do you imagine for one moment
I would give it up to you?

The way we forced my husband
to give it up to me?

You are hard, Matushka.
You are so hard!

It's just...

It's not the state,
it's just you, it's...

You love nobody but yourself.

Yeah, well,
that's humanity for you.

What the fuck
is the matter with you?

Why can't you just
let somebody in!

Why can't you trust somebody?

Because it's never been safe
for me to do that.

Ever.

How could you think
for one second

that I would turn my armies
against you?

You will have to make nice
with the Germans.

Sometimes you just have to
make a deal.

Have you forgotten?

Your actions have consequences.
- SHE SIGHS

I will not go crawling
to the Germans.

Yes, you will.
Because you have to.

My mother was a German.

She was a horrible, greedy,
selfish bitch.

Come here.

Oh, I will do as you suggest.

Of course.
Because I am always right.

As am I.

I will make nice
with the Germans

and you will go south
and make peace with the Turks.

Life's a compromise. I know.

And you were right.

I expect the Countess Bruce
has told you.

Zubov is a two-faced
little bastard.

Yes...

You'll have to get rid of him.

People think I'm stupid
in that direction

but I am not stupid.

I know.
- I will, I'll get rid of him.

But not until
I've had the best out of him.

You wicked...

selfish...

unregenerate...

corrupt...

highly-sexed old witch, you.

No, no, no, I'm not corrupt.
- I take that back.

I mean, how can you talk
to your Empress like that?

It seems to come
very easily to me.

At the party tomorrow night

I want you to kneel before me.

And tell everyone there
that you worship me totally

and that you are utterly
and completely loyal to me.

When they get older and wiser

sometimes husband and wife
need separate bedrooms

my old friend.

Mm...

Ah, Sashenka, you're back!

Good.

So, did you have
a lovely time with Mama?

Yes.
- Good.

Good.

I wondered...
- Yes?

I wondered whether I might
take him with me?

Take him home?

Maria.

He is the future
Emperor of Russia.

His place is here with me,
you know that.

Anyway, he has everything
he needs here

don't you, Sashenka?

Yes, Granny.

He was saying
you got him to sign something.

Oh? Was he?

He's clearly very young.

Whatever it was,
do you think he understood it?

It was about the succession.

You know that.

Or you suspected.

Do you really think we should be
having this discussion

in front of the boy?
- He knows who his father is.

As do you.

Do you seriously think
that Paul is capable

of governing this country?

I think he is my husband
and I am loyal to him.

Good.

Very good.

Well, if you ever
change your mind

perhaps you may write something
to the effect that you think

your son should succeed
instead of his father.

Do you really imagine
I would do that?

What must you think of me?

- Bye, my darling.
- Bye, Mummy.

Goodbye.

Where is he?

You were going
to bring him home.

What happened to
"getting close to her"?

She made him sign something.

It's about the succession.

What is it? What does it say?

He would succeed.

Instead of you.

Darling, it's alright.
It doesn't...

No, it doesn't mean anything.
It means nothing.

She tried to get me on her side.

To write something...

something that would allow Sasha
to take the throne

instead of you.
- And?

I'm loyal to you.

I said I'd do
nothing of the kind.

Wives betray their husbands.

Children betray their parents.

There is no loyalty.
There isn't...

I am loyal to you.

You know I am.
- There isn't any...

Paul, I am loyal to you.

And I hope you remain
loyal to me.

I just thought
you'd bring him home.

The British and German ultimatum

has been withdrawn.

It seems everyone is suddenly
more frightened of France

than of Russia.

There is no longer
any danger of war

on two or three fronts.

It seems Prince Potemkin
may have been a little hasty

apologising to the Germans
for winning a war

Your Majesty.

You may have noticed, Alexei,
that the common people in France

are demanding control
over taxation.

We will be at war with them next

and, as always

we need as many friends
as we can get.

Prince Potemkin
is a very skilled negotiator.

Sir? Sir, are you alright, sir?

Oh, God.

I can't breathe.

Help me up.

I must write to her.

Yes, sir.

This is for her eyes only,
you understand?

No one else.

I'll make sure my brother
doesn't see it, sir.

You're a good man.

You've done good service.

Well, what is it? I can tell
from your face it's bad news.

It's...

What? Just say it.

Give me the letter,
tell me the worst.

He's dead, Your Majesty.

Who is dead?

Potemkin.

Potemkin?

Potemkin's dead?

Your Majesty.

This letter is for
your eyes only.

Your Majesty!

My darling Matushka.

What I want to say is this.

In going where you have to go

and doing what you have to do,
you wear away at love.

Even a love like ours

born out of reason and laughter

and happiness
and great ambition.

But I do not regret

all the things
we have achieved together.

Not for a moment.

And I would rather have had our
love used and out in the world

than kept in some drawer
with anniversaries

and the dried roses and
the good opinion of moralists.

I love you as I ever did.

And one day,
the world will know of it.

Be as true to me
as I was to you, Matushka.

It gives you a lot of scope.

The Turkish war is over.

We are at peace.

What is it?

To fight the wicked
revolution in France.

Since King Louis XVI and his
queen, Marie Antoinette

were arrested after attempting
to flee to Varennes last year

our armies are in readiness
to fight revolution

wherever we find it!

Can you believe this prick?

How can she stay with him?
I know he's my brother

but she's lost it
since Potemkin died.

We better get on with
what happens after she dies.

She will decide what happens
after she dies.

And none of us
can do anything about it.

And how will she manage that?

Will she still be dictating

even when the soil
is in her mouth?

Has anyone seen this?

Has anyone seen this filth?

Why are people
allowed to write these things?

Your Majesty...
- Don't "Majesty" me.

This is treason.

People are writing and printing
sheer treason.

We have peace abroad

and enemies at home.

If I have made wars

it is for the sake
of the country I love.

But the author of this work

presumes to call me
a murderer and a tyrant

on these grounds alone.

"The Empress has become
the greatest murderer

in the commonwealth.

She is the greatest robber
and the greatest traitor

and a most savage enemy
of the weak and the...

"poor and the enslaved..."

I have ordered the arrest
and trial of the creature

who wrote this book.

If he is found guilty,
he will be executed.

Be warned.

I am your Empress

and I hold tight
to the reins of power.

Do not imagine that the death
of our first minister

and dearest friend
Prince Potemkin

has weakened my resolve.

Your Empress has spoken.

I'm not a cripple.

No need to carry me, you know.

I'm sorry, Matushka.

Platon is very, very sorry
he upset Matushka.

And you don't need to call me
by that name...

Matushka.

Matushka.

Matushka.

That's what he used to call me,
Matushka, Matushka, Matushka.

You can call me old woman.

Any woman.
The way the peasants do.

I own peasants.
Thousands of them.

They work and they drink
and we whip them senseless

if they dare to answer back.

Do you think that's right?

Do you? Mon petit noiraud.

Don't answer that.

Tu n'est pas qualifié
pour répondre.

Oh, my grandson,
he's such a sweet boy.

Oh, but his father.

God, his father.

Are you alright?

Mm?
- I'm worried about you.

I get these headaches.

Oh, such headaches
you wouldn't believe.

Mm.
- Where are we going?

To an orgy, of course.

A witches' sabbat.

I'm going to fly you around
on my broomstick.

There are those who are sure
that I am a fucking witch.

Well, I read Latin.

I like to screw young men.
Witch, clearly.

Foul-mouthed old woman,
not nice.

Not nice...

Her Majesty has decided to have
all French books burned.

She seems to think they bear
some responsibility

for causing
the French Revolution.

Reading creates a prejudice.

Ah... Voltaire!

"Religion began when the first
scoundrel met the first fool."

Rousseau! He was a disgusting
little man.

Ha!

"Man is born free

but everywhere he is in chains."

What's that supposed to mean?

It means...

It meant...

Burn them!

Burn... burn them all.

Burn all of those Frenchmen
and their endless questions.

What are you doing here?

Reading.

You'd better
be careful what you read.

You used to like Voltaire.

Perhaps.

When I was young and foolish.

He made you laugh.

I don't deny it.

You were so full of hope.

And charity.

Supported the arts and science.

You showed the world
what women can achieve.

I did what I did.

When I was young,
I dreamed of freedom.

As people do
when they are young.

I dreamed of breaking chains.

But as you get older,
your choices narrow.

So what did I do instead?

I gave us an Empire.

Which is something.

And you loved the greatest man
of the age.

Oh, I loved him.

I enjoyed it all.
Every single second.

Life takes everything from you.

Piece by piece by piece.

It does, doesn't it?

But I knew exactly
what I was doing.

And I wouldn't have had
any of it any other way.

They executed Louis.

What is this world?

I don't recognise it anymore.

Oh!

I recognise you.

In the end...

there is only...

flesh.

Oh!

Oh, my head.

In here.

Are you alright, Matushka?

My darling Matushka.

The only man...

The only man I ever loved.

My Grishenka...

You were the one.

Matushka? Matushka!

Help! Please help!

Where are her private papers?

Where are they?

Get out.

She's still alive.
- Get out! Out!

I leave the throne to
my grandson, Alexander

who witnesses this document
with his signature.

Is this what she made you Sign?

Is it?

What!
- She is dead.

Your Majesty.

Be careful.

Today...

we bury again
the body of my father.

He will lie next to his wife

my mother, Catherine,
in the Kazan Cathedral.

I am proud to be the son
of Peter III

and take this opportunity
to tell you

that from this day,
we will enact legislation

to ensure that no woman

ever again rules Russia.

You will place the crown
on my father's coffin

as we bear the two of them
to their shared grave.

My mother took the crown
from my father.

It was never hers by right.

And now it is mine.

And after me...

it will go to my sons

and in time, their sons.

Make sure that you erase
all trace of that man Potemkin.

He is buried in the Ukraine.

Wipe out the grave
and every palace she gave him.

He is not to be spoken of.

Ever.
- Yes, Your Majesty.

Who was he?

Nothing.

I even heard ignorant people say

that he and my mother
were married.

♪ Since history is
written by crooks and fools ♪

♪ Heigh-ho,
the blizzard and the ice ♪

♪ And made by bastards
who break the rules ♪

♪ Heigh-ho,
but love is very nice ♪

♪ And marriages were not made
to last ♪

♪ Heigh-ho,
the forest and the bear ♪

If no one knows we are married
but we two...

is it still real?

It's the truth, Matushka.

Soon we'll find out.

Love“.
Will always be a private matter.

And all the sweeter for it.

We chose each other, Grishenka

although we had no choice
in the matter.

And so we stay ourselves

even now we are one.

Forever.

Love is what's left of us

after everything else has gone.

Poets would like us
to believe that.

But what do they know?