Cash Register (2018–…): Season 3, Episode 1 - A bottle without a cork - full transcript
Shira teaches the female employees self-defense. Amnon has an abnormal request. Nissim and Anatoly try to figure out which one of them is better looking.
Hi.
Am I first?
Hey there, Sheinkin.
How's it going?
You're blocking me.
-Move, move, move.
Stand in back!
-"Stand"? Am I a statue?
But it's a two seated
-Move.
I said I'd handle...
-Quiet, he's filming.
Hi, guys. -Hello.
-Hi, Oren. -What's up?
Long time. -Hi.
-How's it going? How are you?
Sheinkin, we saw the second season
of your show
and I gotta tell you something.
You surprised me, pal.
He was nervous there.
-Some show.
Honestly, exceptional.
I'll talk to you later.
At our Friday night dinners
everyone says:
"You're from 'Cash Register',"
"You're from 'Cash Register'."
"Checkout."
"Checkout"? -Yes.
Sheinkin, may I?
A constructive insult? -Yes.
Why doesn't your show have...
what's it called?
What do you call it?
Intro, it's called an intro.
-Intro, right, intro. -No intro.
There's the barcode at the beginning,
it says "Checkout"
and then this laser shifts over it.
-No, that's not...
Barcode-toot?!
That's an intro?
Throne Games has a 15 minute intro.
Animation, 3D effect.
And us? Barcode-toot!
Dude, that's not intro, that's...
that's a disgrace, Sheinkin.
Yes, I didn't quite understand
what Anatoly said,
but I do feel that I...
I said barcode-toot! That's no intro.
No, I understand.
-It's not an intro.
We just think that...
-Excuse me, guys.
Maybe... a better intro?
What is it, a money thing?
Papelinos? -Of course not.
Because if there is a problem,
I can deduct it from my money this season.
A little. -What? You get money?
-Kohava gets money?
No, but say I do.
Does she get?
-She gets money.
Wait, wait, wait, guys.
Hold your horses.
What did she say?
-I have an idea.
Let's us do the intro of the show.
We can act,
we have the director, Oren,
and the... whole crew
and the camera...
and that man with the stick,
the boom. -I want to be in it too.
We can improvise.
What do you say, Oren?
No, thanks. There's no need.
-To your places!
One, two three, four!
Nissim.
-Oh, you prepared something.
Three, five, three, we... five!
Nissim.
"Nissim
"Shira"
You're putting it in...
-What?
"Ramzi"
Kohava, what's that?
-Cat walk.
"Kohava"
"Anatoly"
"Cash Register"
It's "Checkout"!
Checkout
"Bottle Without a Cap"
That's how I can detect
all my attackers
and have the upper hand.
Why?
Because I use my eyes and see
and I use my hands
and activate all my senses,
in order to detect attackers
and enemies
that are in abundance.
The whistle will distinguish
between the exercises.
Hello, Shira.
-"Master Steinbuch" to you.
"Diploma"
Yes, yes, exactly one week ago
I completed a self-defense course
and I decided to convene
a women's only sharing session
and Ramzi,
and contribute of my knowledge.
Nice. Now let's say,
I'm walking down the street.
I'm walking, the way I walk,
and then, suddenly,
someone with a knife attacks me.
She wishes.
Uh, Bossga, if I may,
I'd rather not. -You may not.
It's just a demonstration.
-Even so, I can't attack.
Ramzi, just attack me.
You can, I believe in you.
I'm not looking
and you attack me.
Attack me, Ramzi!
You can, attack me!
What's that? Ramzi.
Attack me, you can do it!
Attack me!
Attack me, Ramzi!
No, really, I can't. Why would anyone
want to hurt something so pure, Bossga?
Attack!
Very good.
My word!
That was Brucega!
And that's what we call
dynamic frontal subduing.
Questions?
Can we do it again?
We use the consonants
"Ha!" and "Sa!"
Why do we use "Ha"?
Oh no, oh no, oh no.
-What's wrong, Kohava?
I'm so sorry,
not this again...
Kohava Shavit...
-What a bummer.
If you don't want to learn,
just say so.
You don't have to fake
a nose bleed every time.
Okay, girls, pair up.
-Sorry. -Attacker and attacked.
What?
I'm with Esti!
Manager's approval to hit Esti?
No way in hell I'm gonna miss that.
I'm with Esti!
I see you feel much better, Kohava.
-I have quick absorption...
Well, everyone split up into pairs.
But that's not fair,
had an emergency medical situation.
Alright, you can be with me.
-What?
You can be with me,
I'll be the victim, you'll be the attacker?
Kohava?
Since that dingbat became the manager,
not a night has gone by
that I haven't dreamt
how I'm bashing in her face.
However,
this country applies the "rule of law."
No bashing faces for no reason.
But this time,
this time, she asked me to.
She asked for the force of my arm.
You're my witnesses.
My my, will she be content
Content here,
content there.
Content with a curve,
content in the... behind.
Attackers, assume attacker mode.
Shoulder span back,
hostile look in the eyes.
Ready?
When I say "attack," you attack.
On your marks,
get ready...
Kohava, are you ready?
-Say it already!
Attack!
Kohava?
-Kohava?
Ramzi, Ramzi, Ramzi, first aid.
Kohava, your nose is all bloody.
Oh please,
I invented that method.
Let go of me!
Let's continue.
But Kohava...
No, we won't continue.
I think you broke your nose.
-It's just a nose,
we have an exercise to finish.
-Kohava... -Ha! Sa!
You're losing tons of blood.
No, Kohava...
-No! -Come. -No!
Kohava, you're bleeding.
-But...
I know, it's tough.
-It's dripping!
Why, Father?
Why?
Why are you doing this to me?
You showed me the promised punch,
won't you let me bash her?
"Issachar Bounty"
Here you go.
One kilo of chicken hearts
for Mademoiselle.
One kilo?
Give her another five,
on me.
What? -On you? It goes by the weight,
you moron, it's on her.
My apologies.
Here you go.
-Thank you.
Hottie?
Listen to this, there's a butcher
at the supermarket who's just like you.
No, you're the hottest,
but you're not the only one in the world.
What's that?
Are you jealous now?
You're not bummed, huh?
-Me? Bummed out?
That she said I'm hot and all that.
What?
-What "what?"
You heard her, she told her boyfriend
that I remind her of him, "hottie."
You, hottie?
-You see another hottie around here?
Nissim, are you for real?
You're more hottie than me?
Look, this jaw line, George Clooney.
Dimples, one, two,
eyes, swimming pool turquoise.
There you go.
You see?
You're annoyed,
that means I'm right.
Annoyed means you're right?
You have here an alpha male,
daggers in his eyes, mob boss hair.
Men like me are rare..
Here, Esti, come here a sec.
-Come. -Here you go.
A neutral woman,
a person of truth.
Listen. -What?
Who's hotter, me or Anatoly?
Be honest, he won't be offended.
Neither of you are my type.
-Oh, party pooper, come here!
You have to choose,
who's more hottie?
This, this?
-Neither of you.
Get back here already.
Listen,
nuclear holocaust,
the world is extinct.
The three of us in an underground bunker,
who do you choose?
If two supermarket butchers
have an underground bunker,
other people do too.
She's so rude, that one.
You save her from nucleus holocaust
and she looks the other way!
I'm hottie.
I'm hottie.
I'm hottie.
-I'm hottie.
I'm hottie.
Amos, Eliran,
who's hottie?
Say it, don't be shy.
Damti, who's hottie?
Sheinkin.
-Sheinkin, who's hottie?
"Issachar Bounty"
And then,
just before my dream comes true,
that bozo shoves me
and I crash on my nose.
Disgusting.
-Thank you very much,
that's why I told you.
You always say the right thing.
Oh, and for the balance,
here's someone who hasn't said
the right thing all his life.
Amnon Titinsky!
Oh my, the work of the righteous
is done by others.
It takes one to know it.
How much is it?
What?
Haven't you forgotten something?
No, I bought yogurt this morning.
Just this.
What is this? -What is this?
The cap of a bleach bottle.
And where's... the thing?
That's attached to the... cap,
under... underneath?
On the shelf. It's alright,
I don't need it, just the cap.
Every morning I go outside
with a rag, a pail and bleach
and wash Mom's car.
You wash the car with bleach?
-Mom has... a disorder.
Everything has to smell of bleach.
She even had body lotion
that smelled like bleach.
For some reason
it was discontinued.
In any case,
I finish scrubbing the dashboard,
I'm about to close the bottle,
no cap, no nothing.
I looked all over the car.
Nothing, nada.
-And?
"And?"
The bottle's half full.
And I know my mom,
if she finds out I lost the cap,
I won't get paid for the wash.
You take money to wash her car?
-Just for the cleaning items.
I don't charge for the labor.
She is my mom, after all.
You know what I wonder?
-What?
How bad were the other sperms
that you got there first?
Ah, is that a joke?
Next time give a heads up,
so we'll laugh.
You're the biggest joke
and no one tells you before you come.
Okay, are you done?
Can I pay for the cap?
Sure, sure.
Naomi.
-What?
How much is the bleach,
the white, cheap one.
The one that misers buy.
-12.90. -12.90.
No, no, the entire product
costs 12.90, I only want the cap.
I really am attentive to your needs,
but you saw the sign over the door,
did it say "Ikea"?
No.
We don't sell in parts here.
We sell sets, bottle plus cap.
you're not selling the cap.
No problem.
I wanted to pay.
You're my witnesses.
Naomi.
-What, beautiful?
Your friend wants to take
the cap of the bleach
that he took from the shelf
without paying.
Hey, hold up, hold up!
You didn't hear about our specials!
You get these crooks?
They want me to pay for the whole item
when they know I only need the cap.
What is this cynical exploitation
of the little man?
If I pay 12.90, I hardly make a profit
on washing the car.
How much do you get?
-I told Mom it's 15.
But with the tip it can reach 20.
And she tips you?
-Never.
Ha!
Sa!
There you go.
Kohava, a neutral person,
a woman of truth.
This primadonna on heels
told her boyfriend...
What? -"There's a butcher here
who's just like you, hottie."
I'm explaining to this idiot Nissim
who she was referring to.
Oops, sorry,
I forgot the book "Solving Dreams"
at home. -"Solving dreams"?
This gal at the meat counter said it.
Kohava, it's a simple question,
who is more hottie?
Who's smarter?
The cigarette or the table?
Kohava, cut the crap.
Ha! Sa!
Alright, alright.
-Go, go.
A man loses the valve cap of his tire,
does anyone say, "buy a new car"?
No, he just buys the valve cap.
Then why doesn't that apply to bleach?
The fumes escape.
How about talking to Shira,
maybe she'll give you a discount?
No, no, no, no!
I'm done asking and begging.
I remind you, I'm a senior
history professor. I have my dignity.
Go on, give it here!
Tell me it's doomsday,
I'm not buying another gallon.
Their retail terrorism will deter no one.
Let's see who'll have the last laugh.
Master Steinbuch,
Master Steinbuch.
Kohava-san, how do you feel?
-It's nothing.
What's a little blood,
cartilage and disc liquid?
When's the rematch?
The self-defense lesson?
Kohava, after your injury,
I think that will do.
What? No. No. No.
You can't stuff us with...
all your goodness,
get us addicted
and then disappear.
I admit it was
a very good sharing sessions.
Amazing. -Yet, I'm sorry,
it can't be done every day.
No. -There's insurance to consider.
-No, no, please... -Kohava.
Just a rematch lesson,
"Encore! Encore."-Kohava...
She kills me...
-"Yes, yes, yes..."
This woman kills me.
-"You were bad and we..."
Alright, alright.
One last lesson. -Yes! Yes. Yes!
I won't regret it, I promise.
Give it here, I'll toss it.
What are you looking at?
You think you're better than me?
Suddenly, what do I see?
On that guy's cart, Rafik, the weirdo,
a gallon of bleach!
The entire set,
bottle plus cap.
Just like mine.
Almost empty.
Who will mind if I take it?
No one will notice.
Mr. Titinsky?
Mr. Titinsky.
What? What do you want?
Don't get me wrong,
I'm not accusing anyone,
but I fear you may have
accidentally taken something
that doesn't belong to you.
-What?!
Look, at the time,
I attached a tiny GPS chip to all my caps.
So I don't lose them.
GPS?
-GPS, yes,
and according to the GPS
and the beeps we both hear,
the long lost cap, miraculously,
is in... scooch over, thank you,
your car.
You attached a GPS
to the cap of the bleach?
What other usage
could there be for a GPS?
Look, caps are a tricky sector.
They vanish left and right.
That's why I collect doubles
and triples and even quadruples
of each and every cap
that comes my way.
Triples?
-And quadruples.
You're both revolting.
Disgusting
and disgusting.
I told you, don't ask her.
Guys, you've been focused on this
all day instead of working.
Just choose one
and we'll get back to work.
No, I won't choose,
I'm your manager.
Tak, we're not asking you as a manager.
We're asking you as a woman.
You're a woman,
you have a type, no?
Of course I'm a woman.
I am a woman
and I have a type, for sure.
But both of you...
-Just choose one! What's so hard?
I don't want to.
-One and it's back to work.
One and it's back to work?
-Yes. -Yes.
Anatoly, whatever.
Well, hello there, Big Boss.
Anatoly, I said it
so you'd get back to work.
I get off early tonight, where to?
-Okay, I can't... -Anatoly?
Stop it, Nissim,
I said it so you'd get to work.
The lighting here doesn't flatter me!
-No. -I'll show you pictures!
Get back to the meat counter!
Ha! Sa!
This time I have to be ready,
no room for mistakes.
Like the Olympics.
You lose focus for one second
and years of hard work go down the drain.
And for me it's even more stressful,
a whole supermarket is behind me,
waiting for me to bash in her face.
Ha! Sa!
Throw an uppercut.
-What? -From below, like this.
To the jaw.
Like this? -Yes.
Alright.
Ha! Sa!
Nice, Chibotero!
You got an eye.
Sweetie, I was no. 1 boxing coach.
-No way. -Yes.
Joher Abu Lashin,
Nachman "The Dodger",
I coached all the greats.
-No way. -Yes.
They stood in line for me
more than they do for you on Fridays.
I don't believe it!
How about coaching me?
Coach you? What for?
-I have a major match on Thursday,
once in a lifetime.
-I'm retired. -I'll do as you say
I will, I'll work hard, I mean it.
-Don't you understand? -I do.
I am retired.
-I won't regret it, I promise.
I never throw caps away.
You never know when you'll need one.
Here.
This one?
No, it doesn't fit.
-How about this?
You just gave that to me!
Really!
The cap I need isn't here.
-Shall I get the other boxes?
Ta-da!
Hold on.
Yes, give me the ones that make sense.
-Let's amp up the pace.
I give you, you check,
I give you, you check.
I know it's detergent, but check.
Here. -No, those are useless!
One purple, one white, one check.
This is just like "Cinderella".
You're the prince,
they're the fair maidens.
Maybe this will be your Cinderella?
Or perhaps...
-Could you shut your mouth?!
Check this one,
this one too, please,
I give you, you check,
I give, you check.
That's enough!
-Try it, don't give up!
Put it in my hand,
look where I am, in my hand.
"Issachar Bounty"
There.
Start from above.
Oh, nice. Wax on.
Wax off.
Arms up.
Up, like an eagle.
Wax on, wax off.
Now from below.
Excellent, excellent.
No good.
One leg up.
And... down!
Faster! Faster!
Excellent.
Time me!
-I did already!
The other leg.
One leg.
Hold on, hold on.
-No... -Hold on, hold on...
Not in the middle...
-I have to, one sec.
But you're working,
you can't run with a cigarette.
Here, here.
You confused me,
I didn't press.
One leg down.
Now kick!
Nice. You got it.
Sweetie,
I've seen many fighters in my lifetime,
I haven't seen anyone like you.
Persevere and listen to Chibotero,
the sky's the limit. Ah?
Wow.
Can you do it again?
Very powerful.
Last time?
Ramzi, cut it out. -Alright, alright.
So, the hottest butcher,
in my opinion,
and in my opinion only, yes?
He is...
She is...
Ramzi. -Just kidding,
there is no "she" here.
He... Ha...
Just kidding again...
There is no "ha."
Okay, okay, so the hottest butcher
in the supermarket is...
Nissitoly.
What?
-Nissitoly.
That's Nissim and Toly.
-This is so stupid.
Glad I could help.
Nissitoly.
Well? What do you say?
-What can I say?
We asked all the employees,
3-0 Anatoly hottie Kirilenko.
Shira, yes.
Chibotero, yes.
Daisy, yes.
Thank you, have a nice day.
-I suggest you shut your trap.
Oh, superstar, so annoyed?
That means I'm right.
What's that got to do with it?
3-0 my foot.
Those people chose to work
in a supermarket, you trust their taste?
My Lolita is back.
They always return to Talan's nectar.
-Yeah, right.
Hottie, what's up?
Oh, you're here?
Then come in, I'm near the chocolates.
-Hottie is here.
Oh, this will be sweeter than honey.
Ta-da.
Hottie!
Who's a hottie? Who?
Tell me who's a hottie.
That's Hottie?
Well, hello there.
How may I help?
What's going on, superstar?
I hear your meat is boo-boom.
What's wrong?
Are you morons?
Go on, one kilo of wings,
thank you, have a nice day.
Nissitoly!
Way to go.
You defeated the little man.
12.90.
-I know, I know.
Keep it for ointments.
(in Arabic) Have a good day.
What did you say?
-(in Arabic) Have a good day.
Sometimes it's best to pay 12.90
so as not to argue with a customer.
After all,
Mom is a return customer.
"Issachar Bounty"
Sa!
And don't address me like that again!
Ladies, the next exercise
combines mind and body. Why?
Because it requires thought,
physicality, swiftness
and mainly courage.
We step back and run...
attack!
Hit! Hit! Defend! Hit!
Kick! Ha, sa!
Very nice, Shira.
Yes, yes, yes.
Let's practice.
Kohava, will you join us?
Go, I believe in you.
Thank you for everything, Master.
-You're welcome.
Please pair up.
-I'm with Shira!
I called it first!
Touched a curl!
Okay, Kohava.
You're with me,
no problem. Okay.
Girls, you remember?
On my "attack" you start running.
Kohava, would you rather be
the attacker or the attacked?
The attacker.
Are you sure? The attacker?
Yes.
-That's fine, okay.
Listen up,
everyone take a step back.
Find inside you
the anger at the attacked,
the place of vengeance.
It's not easy,
you're facing a nice person,
but still, find the hate!
Nice.
Ready...?
On your marks...
get set...
Bossga, come quick!
It's Mr. Titinsky,
he's taking all the caps
off the bottles of bleach,
he's foaming at the mouth
and with the bleach on the floor,
there's a pool of foam.
Wait! Wait!
-I'm sorry, emergency.
But we haven't
finished the exercise.
Kohava, I have to...
Carry on yourselves.
But I don't... have a partner.
-You can join Naomi and Lishay.
Naomi and Lishay,
do it with Kohava.
With Naomi and Lishay?!
Get ready... attack!
Kohava?
-Ha, sa! Ha, sa!
Listen, sweetie,
I've seen many fighters in my lifetime.
Few had what you have.
If you listen to Chibotero,
the sky's the limit.
I'm alright...
I feel that...
Nice has broken between us.
But I'm not a chunk of meat.
-Fine. -I just cut meat.
Ha! Sa!
Shira! What did I do?
I was kidding, humor, what's wrong?
Hey, Shira, listen,
just one more match. -No.
One lesson. -Enough.
-A lesson, not a match.
I'm talking to you here.
You're limping after me.
-I'm trying to talk sense!
I won't regret it, I promise.
Am I first?
Hey there, Sheinkin.
How's it going?
You're blocking me.
-Move, move, move.
Stand in back!
-"Stand"? Am I a statue?
But it's a two seated
-Move.
I said I'd handle...
-Quiet, he's filming.
Hi, guys. -Hello.
-Hi, Oren. -What's up?
Long time. -Hi.
-How's it going? How are you?
Sheinkin, we saw the second season
of your show
and I gotta tell you something.
You surprised me, pal.
He was nervous there.
-Some show.
Honestly, exceptional.
I'll talk to you later.
At our Friday night dinners
everyone says:
"You're from 'Cash Register',"
"You're from 'Cash Register'."
"Checkout."
"Checkout"? -Yes.
Sheinkin, may I?
A constructive insult? -Yes.
Why doesn't your show have...
what's it called?
What do you call it?
Intro, it's called an intro.
-Intro, right, intro. -No intro.
There's the barcode at the beginning,
it says "Checkout"
and then this laser shifts over it.
-No, that's not...
Barcode-toot?!
That's an intro?
Throne Games has a 15 minute intro.
Animation, 3D effect.
And us? Barcode-toot!
Dude, that's not intro, that's...
that's a disgrace, Sheinkin.
Yes, I didn't quite understand
what Anatoly said,
but I do feel that I...
I said barcode-toot! That's no intro.
No, I understand.
-It's not an intro.
We just think that...
-Excuse me, guys.
Maybe... a better intro?
What is it, a money thing?
Papelinos? -Of course not.
Because if there is a problem,
I can deduct it from my money this season.
A little. -What? You get money?
-Kohava gets money?
No, but say I do.
Does she get?
-She gets money.
Wait, wait, wait, guys.
Hold your horses.
What did she say?
-I have an idea.
Let's us do the intro of the show.
We can act,
we have the director, Oren,
and the... whole crew
and the camera...
and that man with the stick,
the boom. -I want to be in it too.
We can improvise.
What do you say, Oren?
No, thanks. There's no need.
-To your places!
One, two three, four!
Nissim.
-Oh, you prepared something.
Three, five, three, we... five!
Nissim.
"Nissim
"Shira"
You're putting it in...
-What?
"Ramzi"
Kohava, what's that?
-Cat walk.
"Kohava"
"Anatoly"
"Cash Register"
It's "Checkout"!
Checkout
"Bottle Without a Cap"
That's how I can detect
all my attackers
and have the upper hand.
Why?
Because I use my eyes and see
and I use my hands
and activate all my senses,
in order to detect attackers
and enemies
that are in abundance.
The whistle will distinguish
between the exercises.
Hello, Shira.
-"Master Steinbuch" to you.
"Diploma"
Yes, yes, exactly one week ago
I completed a self-defense course
and I decided to convene
a women's only sharing session
and Ramzi,
and contribute of my knowledge.
Nice. Now let's say,
I'm walking down the street.
I'm walking, the way I walk,
and then, suddenly,
someone with a knife attacks me.
She wishes.
Uh, Bossga, if I may,
I'd rather not. -You may not.
It's just a demonstration.
-Even so, I can't attack.
Ramzi, just attack me.
You can, I believe in you.
I'm not looking
and you attack me.
Attack me, Ramzi!
You can, attack me!
What's that? Ramzi.
Attack me, you can do it!
Attack me!
Attack me, Ramzi!
No, really, I can't. Why would anyone
want to hurt something so pure, Bossga?
Attack!
Very good.
My word!
That was Brucega!
And that's what we call
dynamic frontal subduing.
Questions?
Can we do it again?
We use the consonants
"Ha!" and "Sa!"
Why do we use "Ha"?
Oh no, oh no, oh no.
-What's wrong, Kohava?
I'm so sorry,
not this again...
Kohava Shavit...
-What a bummer.
If you don't want to learn,
just say so.
You don't have to fake
a nose bleed every time.
Okay, girls, pair up.
-Sorry. -Attacker and attacked.
What?
I'm with Esti!
Manager's approval to hit Esti?
No way in hell I'm gonna miss that.
I'm with Esti!
I see you feel much better, Kohava.
-I have quick absorption...
Well, everyone split up into pairs.
But that's not fair,
had an emergency medical situation.
Alright, you can be with me.
-What?
You can be with me,
I'll be the victim, you'll be the attacker?
Kohava?
Since that dingbat became the manager,
not a night has gone by
that I haven't dreamt
how I'm bashing in her face.
However,
this country applies the "rule of law."
No bashing faces for no reason.
But this time,
this time, she asked me to.
She asked for the force of my arm.
You're my witnesses.
My my, will she be content
Content here,
content there.
Content with a curve,
content in the... behind.
Attackers, assume attacker mode.
Shoulder span back,
hostile look in the eyes.
Ready?
When I say "attack," you attack.
On your marks,
get ready...
Kohava, are you ready?
-Say it already!
Attack!
Kohava?
-Kohava?
Ramzi, Ramzi, Ramzi, first aid.
Kohava, your nose is all bloody.
Oh please,
I invented that method.
Let go of me!
Let's continue.
But Kohava...
No, we won't continue.
I think you broke your nose.
-It's just a nose,
we have an exercise to finish.
-Kohava... -Ha! Sa!
You're losing tons of blood.
No, Kohava...
-No! -Come. -No!
Kohava, you're bleeding.
-But...
I know, it's tough.
-It's dripping!
Why, Father?
Why?
Why are you doing this to me?
You showed me the promised punch,
won't you let me bash her?
"Issachar Bounty"
Here you go.
One kilo of chicken hearts
for Mademoiselle.
One kilo?
Give her another five,
on me.
What? -On you? It goes by the weight,
you moron, it's on her.
My apologies.
Here you go.
-Thank you.
Hottie?
Listen to this, there's a butcher
at the supermarket who's just like you.
No, you're the hottest,
but you're not the only one in the world.
What's that?
Are you jealous now?
You're not bummed, huh?
-Me? Bummed out?
That she said I'm hot and all that.
What?
-What "what?"
You heard her, she told her boyfriend
that I remind her of him, "hottie."
You, hottie?
-You see another hottie around here?
Nissim, are you for real?
You're more hottie than me?
Look, this jaw line, George Clooney.
Dimples, one, two,
eyes, swimming pool turquoise.
There you go.
You see?
You're annoyed,
that means I'm right.
Annoyed means you're right?
You have here an alpha male,
daggers in his eyes, mob boss hair.
Men like me are rare..
Here, Esti, come here a sec.
-Come. -Here you go.
A neutral woman,
a person of truth.
Listen. -What?
Who's hotter, me or Anatoly?
Be honest, he won't be offended.
Neither of you are my type.
-Oh, party pooper, come here!
You have to choose,
who's more hottie?
This, this?
-Neither of you.
Get back here already.
Listen,
nuclear holocaust,
the world is extinct.
The three of us in an underground bunker,
who do you choose?
If two supermarket butchers
have an underground bunker,
other people do too.
She's so rude, that one.
You save her from nucleus holocaust
and she looks the other way!
I'm hottie.
I'm hottie.
I'm hottie.
-I'm hottie.
I'm hottie.
Amos, Eliran,
who's hottie?
Say it, don't be shy.
Damti, who's hottie?
Sheinkin.
-Sheinkin, who's hottie?
"Issachar Bounty"
And then,
just before my dream comes true,
that bozo shoves me
and I crash on my nose.
Disgusting.
-Thank you very much,
that's why I told you.
You always say the right thing.
Oh, and for the balance,
here's someone who hasn't said
the right thing all his life.
Amnon Titinsky!
Oh my, the work of the righteous
is done by others.
It takes one to know it.
How much is it?
What?
Haven't you forgotten something?
No, I bought yogurt this morning.
Just this.
What is this? -What is this?
The cap of a bleach bottle.
And where's... the thing?
That's attached to the... cap,
under... underneath?
On the shelf. It's alright,
I don't need it, just the cap.
Every morning I go outside
with a rag, a pail and bleach
and wash Mom's car.
You wash the car with bleach?
-Mom has... a disorder.
Everything has to smell of bleach.
She even had body lotion
that smelled like bleach.
For some reason
it was discontinued.
In any case,
I finish scrubbing the dashboard,
I'm about to close the bottle,
no cap, no nothing.
I looked all over the car.
Nothing, nada.
-And?
"And?"
The bottle's half full.
And I know my mom,
if she finds out I lost the cap,
I won't get paid for the wash.
You take money to wash her car?
-Just for the cleaning items.
I don't charge for the labor.
She is my mom, after all.
You know what I wonder?
-What?
How bad were the other sperms
that you got there first?
Ah, is that a joke?
Next time give a heads up,
so we'll laugh.
You're the biggest joke
and no one tells you before you come.
Okay, are you done?
Can I pay for the cap?
Sure, sure.
Naomi.
-What?
How much is the bleach,
the white, cheap one.
The one that misers buy.
-12.90. -12.90.
No, no, the entire product
costs 12.90, I only want the cap.
I really am attentive to your needs,
but you saw the sign over the door,
did it say "Ikea"?
No.
We don't sell in parts here.
We sell sets, bottle plus cap.
you're not selling the cap.
No problem.
I wanted to pay.
You're my witnesses.
Naomi.
-What, beautiful?
Your friend wants to take
the cap of the bleach
that he took from the shelf
without paying.
Hey, hold up, hold up!
You didn't hear about our specials!
You get these crooks?
They want me to pay for the whole item
when they know I only need the cap.
What is this cynical exploitation
of the little man?
If I pay 12.90, I hardly make a profit
on washing the car.
How much do you get?
-I told Mom it's 15.
But with the tip it can reach 20.
And she tips you?
-Never.
Ha!
Sa!
There you go.
Kohava, a neutral person,
a woman of truth.
This primadonna on heels
told her boyfriend...
What? -"There's a butcher here
who's just like you, hottie."
I'm explaining to this idiot Nissim
who she was referring to.
Oops, sorry,
I forgot the book "Solving Dreams"
at home. -"Solving dreams"?
This gal at the meat counter said it.
Kohava, it's a simple question,
who is more hottie?
Who's smarter?
The cigarette or the table?
Kohava, cut the crap.
Ha! Sa!
Alright, alright.
-Go, go.
A man loses the valve cap of his tire,
does anyone say, "buy a new car"?
No, he just buys the valve cap.
Then why doesn't that apply to bleach?
The fumes escape.
How about talking to Shira,
maybe she'll give you a discount?
No, no, no, no!
I'm done asking and begging.
I remind you, I'm a senior
history professor. I have my dignity.
Go on, give it here!
Tell me it's doomsday,
I'm not buying another gallon.
Their retail terrorism will deter no one.
Let's see who'll have the last laugh.
Master Steinbuch,
Master Steinbuch.
Kohava-san, how do you feel?
-It's nothing.
What's a little blood,
cartilage and disc liquid?
When's the rematch?
The self-defense lesson?
Kohava, after your injury,
I think that will do.
What? No. No. No.
You can't stuff us with...
all your goodness,
get us addicted
and then disappear.
I admit it was
a very good sharing sessions.
Amazing. -Yet, I'm sorry,
it can't be done every day.
No. -There's insurance to consider.
-No, no, please... -Kohava.
Just a rematch lesson,
"Encore! Encore."-Kohava...
She kills me...
-"Yes, yes, yes..."
This woman kills me.
-"You were bad and we..."
Alright, alright.
One last lesson. -Yes! Yes. Yes!
I won't regret it, I promise.
Give it here, I'll toss it.
What are you looking at?
You think you're better than me?
Suddenly, what do I see?
On that guy's cart, Rafik, the weirdo,
a gallon of bleach!
The entire set,
bottle plus cap.
Just like mine.
Almost empty.
Who will mind if I take it?
No one will notice.
Mr. Titinsky?
Mr. Titinsky.
What? What do you want?
Don't get me wrong,
I'm not accusing anyone,
but I fear you may have
accidentally taken something
that doesn't belong to you.
-What?!
Look, at the time,
I attached a tiny GPS chip to all my caps.
So I don't lose them.
GPS?
-GPS, yes,
and according to the GPS
and the beeps we both hear,
the long lost cap, miraculously,
is in... scooch over, thank you,
your car.
You attached a GPS
to the cap of the bleach?
What other usage
could there be for a GPS?
Look, caps are a tricky sector.
They vanish left and right.
That's why I collect doubles
and triples and even quadruples
of each and every cap
that comes my way.
Triples?
-And quadruples.
You're both revolting.
Disgusting
and disgusting.
I told you, don't ask her.
Guys, you've been focused on this
all day instead of working.
Just choose one
and we'll get back to work.
No, I won't choose,
I'm your manager.
Tak, we're not asking you as a manager.
We're asking you as a woman.
You're a woman,
you have a type, no?
Of course I'm a woman.
I am a woman
and I have a type, for sure.
But both of you...
-Just choose one! What's so hard?
I don't want to.
-One and it's back to work.
One and it's back to work?
-Yes. -Yes.
Anatoly, whatever.
Well, hello there, Big Boss.
Anatoly, I said it
so you'd get back to work.
I get off early tonight, where to?
-Okay, I can't... -Anatoly?
Stop it, Nissim,
I said it so you'd get to work.
The lighting here doesn't flatter me!
-No. -I'll show you pictures!
Get back to the meat counter!
Ha! Sa!
This time I have to be ready,
no room for mistakes.
Like the Olympics.
You lose focus for one second
and years of hard work go down the drain.
And for me it's even more stressful,
a whole supermarket is behind me,
waiting for me to bash in her face.
Ha! Sa!
Throw an uppercut.
-What? -From below, like this.
To the jaw.
Like this? -Yes.
Alright.
Ha! Sa!
Nice, Chibotero!
You got an eye.
Sweetie, I was no. 1 boxing coach.
-No way. -Yes.
Joher Abu Lashin,
Nachman "The Dodger",
I coached all the greats.
-No way. -Yes.
They stood in line for me
more than they do for you on Fridays.
I don't believe it!
How about coaching me?
Coach you? What for?
-I have a major match on Thursday,
once in a lifetime.
-I'm retired. -I'll do as you say
I will, I'll work hard, I mean it.
-Don't you understand? -I do.
I am retired.
-I won't regret it, I promise.
I never throw caps away.
You never know when you'll need one.
Here.
This one?
No, it doesn't fit.
-How about this?
You just gave that to me!
Really!
The cap I need isn't here.
-Shall I get the other boxes?
Ta-da!
Hold on.
Yes, give me the ones that make sense.
-Let's amp up the pace.
I give you, you check,
I give you, you check.
I know it's detergent, but check.
Here. -No, those are useless!
One purple, one white, one check.
This is just like "Cinderella".
You're the prince,
they're the fair maidens.
Maybe this will be your Cinderella?
Or perhaps...
-Could you shut your mouth?!
Check this one,
this one too, please,
I give you, you check,
I give, you check.
That's enough!
-Try it, don't give up!
Put it in my hand,
look where I am, in my hand.
"Issachar Bounty"
There.
Start from above.
Oh, nice. Wax on.
Wax off.
Arms up.
Up, like an eagle.
Wax on, wax off.
Now from below.
Excellent, excellent.
No good.
One leg up.
And... down!
Faster! Faster!
Excellent.
Time me!
-I did already!
The other leg.
One leg.
Hold on, hold on.
-No... -Hold on, hold on...
Not in the middle...
-I have to, one sec.
But you're working,
you can't run with a cigarette.
Here, here.
You confused me,
I didn't press.
One leg down.
Now kick!
Nice. You got it.
Sweetie,
I've seen many fighters in my lifetime,
I haven't seen anyone like you.
Persevere and listen to Chibotero,
the sky's the limit. Ah?
Wow.
Can you do it again?
Very powerful.
Last time?
Ramzi, cut it out. -Alright, alright.
So, the hottest butcher,
in my opinion,
and in my opinion only, yes?
He is...
She is...
Ramzi. -Just kidding,
there is no "she" here.
He... Ha...
Just kidding again...
There is no "ha."
Okay, okay, so the hottest butcher
in the supermarket is...
Nissitoly.
What?
-Nissitoly.
That's Nissim and Toly.
-This is so stupid.
Glad I could help.
Nissitoly.
Well? What do you say?
-What can I say?
We asked all the employees,
3-0 Anatoly hottie Kirilenko.
Shira, yes.
Chibotero, yes.
Daisy, yes.
Thank you, have a nice day.
-I suggest you shut your trap.
Oh, superstar, so annoyed?
That means I'm right.
What's that got to do with it?
3-0 my foot.
Those people chose to work
in a supermarket, you trust their taste?
My Lolita is back.
They always return to Talan's nectar.
-Yeah, right.
Hottie, what's up?
Oh, you're here?
Then come in, I'm near the chocolates.
-Hottie is here.
Oh, this will be sweeter than honey.
Ta-da.
Hottie!
Who's a hottie? Who?
Tell me who's a hottie.
That's Hottie?
Well, hello there.
How may I help?
What's going on, superstar?
I hear your meat is boo-boom.
What's wrong?
Are you morons?
Go on, one kilo of wings,
thank you, have a nice day.
Nissitoly!
Way to go.
You defeated the little man.
12.90.
-I know, I know.
Keep it for ointments.
(in Arabic) Have a good day.
What did you say?
-(in Arabic) Have a good day.
Sometimes it's best to pay 12.90
so as not to argue with a customer.
After all,
Mom is a return customer.
"Issachar Bounty"
Sa!
And don't address me like that again!
Ladies, the next exercise
combines mind and body. Why?
Because it requires thought,
physicality, swiftness
and mainly courage.
We step back and run...
attack!
Hit! Hit! Defend! Hit!
Kick! Ha, sa!
Very nice, Shira.
Yes, yes, yes.
Let's practice.
Kohava, will you join us?
Go, I believe in you.
Thank you for everything, Master.
-You're welcome.
Please pair up.
-I'm with Shira!
I called it first!
Touched a curl!
Okay, Kohava.
You're with me,
no problem. Okay.
Girls, you remember?
On my "attack" you start running.
Kohava, would you rather be
the attacker or the attacked?
The attacker.
Are you sure? The attacker?
Yes.
-That's fine, okay.
Listen up,
everyone take a step back.
Find inside you
the anger at the attacked,
the place of vengeance.
It's not easy,
you're facing a nice person,
but still, find the hate!
Nice.
Ready...?
On your marks...
get set...
Bossga, come quick!
It's Mr. Titinsky,
he's taking all the caps
off the bottles of bleach,
he's foaming at the mouth
and with the bleach on the floor,
there's a pool of foam.
Wait! Wait!
-I'm sorry, emergency.
But we haven't
finished the exercise.
Kohava, I have to...
Carry on yourselves.
But I don't... have a partner.
-You can join Naomi and Lishay.
Naomi and Lishay,
do it with Kohava.
With Naomi and Lishay?!
Get ready... attack!
Kohava?
-Ha, sa! Ha, sa!
Listen, sweetie,
I've seen many fighters in my lifetime.
Few had what you have.
If you listen to Chibotero,
the sky's the limit.
I'm alright...
I feel that...
Nice has broken between us.
But I'm not a chunk of meat.
-Fine. -I just cut meat.
Ha! Sa!
Shira! What did I do?
I was kidding, humor, what's wrong?
Hey, Shira, listen,
just one more match. -No.
One lesson. -Enough.
-A lesson, not a match.
I'm talking to you here.
You're limping after me.
-I'm trying to talk sense!
I won't regret it, I promise.