Cadillacs and Dinosaurs (1993–1994): Season 1, Episode 2 - Dino Drive - full transcript

Mack's stampede!

Get out! Get out!

Hurry up! Hurry up! Evacuation!

Mack's stampede! Get out! Get out!

In the 26th century, mankind faces
an epic struggle for survival.

The forces of nature have
spun wildly out of control.

Mighty cities have crumbled.

And the dinosaurs have returned
to reclaim the earth.

In this savage land,

one man stands alone.

Jack Tenrec.



Defending humanity
in a world gone mad.

A world where only the strong survive.

A world of…

Cadillacs and Dinosaurs!

Governors.

I ask you to give me a firm hand and
I promise to stop this dinosaur threat.

Once and for all.

Tenrec get out. I didn't invite you.

An old blood mechanic doesn't
need your invitation Scharnhorst.

Captain Noc, throw this man out.

Yes governor.

Guards!

No! Let Jack stay.

I think it's important
to hear the opinion



of an old blood
mechanic about your plan.

Nonsense. You know what they say.

"The machinery of life is a
balance and we have to maintain it".

That's fact, not opinion.

Exactly what do you plan to do about
the mack threat to our settlements?

I will decimate this heard of macks
removing that danger forever.

Let's vote on it.

What?

While I think there's merit to
your plan governor Scharnhorst.

I too would like to hear
mr. Tenrec's reaction.

Don't you all realize you're
sealing your own fate?

And the fate of everyone in this city.

What did I tell you?

Really Jack? Aren't you
stretching things a little?

Am I?

Okay, wipe out the macks. Why not?

I believe why not is the
reason we asked you to stay.

So why not?

Think. If Scharnhorst wipes
out the macks. Come next spring.

What do you think
the cutters will eat?

Our cattle, that's what.

Ridiculous, we'll post guards.

You think guards can stop
octopus weeds from choking our fields?

Without any macs to devour those weeds

our crops will die and
the whole city will starve.

So? We'll poison the octopus weeds.

And pollute our food,
ourselves and our children.

The machinatio vitae
allows no shortcuts.

There's a reason for life
on every level of the food chain.

That's true. What Tenrec calls the
machinatio vitae is known by all Wasoons

as the circle of life. And
the circle must not be broken.

Ambassador Dundee, I
thank you for coming.

But I remind you you're
only here as an observer.

Yes, and what I observe is the fine job

you're all doing to
keep nature in harmony.

As you know what affects you
today touches my tribe tomorrow.

It's worth a vote.

Personally I've always wanted to
see what Jack has up his sleeve.

Then I'm moved to let
Tenrec handle this mack problem.

All in favor?

All right. But only 72 hours
Tenrec and then I step in.

The council has a responsibility to
safeguard the settlement lands...

And the settlers. Good luck Jack.

Thanks. I'll need all I can get.

Shall I stop him, governor?

Why bother? Let Jack hang himself.

I'd hate to be in the path of those
macks. Nothing can stop them.

Well Mustafa, acording to old
Jack you're gonna be and me too.

What? What can we do out there?

Evacuate the settlers?

No. If we do that the macks won't leave

until they chow down on
every last bite of our crops.

Okay what are we gonna do?

We're gonna move them out.

This is nuts Tenrec. One of the
privileges of weighing a couple of tons

is that macks go where macks want to go.

We'll make the macks
wanna go someplace else.

And how are we gonna do that Jack?
Ask them pretty please?

No, we'll take these big beauties.

I'll pilot the red one and
you drive the blue one Mustafa.

Thanks Jack. But exactly
what am I going to do with it?

Herd the macks to safe ground.

Did he said, herd the macks?

Since when do dinosaurs like to
be heard. And with Cadillacs yet.

The truth is, I don't know if
it's gonna work but it's worth a try.

It will work Jack.
I've been to the library.

What are you doing here?

I'm a volunteer, I figured
you need all you can get.

Look I found a historical
precedent for your idea in this.

In the old days people drove
their cattle to market riding horses.

I heard about them, cow punchers.

In fact I got some old cow
puncher gear right here.

They used these to punch the cows.

But what I can't figure out is
how they rode horses with them on.

However it was, those were cows.
And macks are lot bigger than cows.

And a lot meaner.

Yeah but this time we got 400
horses under the hood to do the job.

What are you worried about?

I'm worried about their big tusks.

Macks have also got big ears.

They'll move.

Well somehow I think we'll
need more help than that.

No.... no!

Put me down Hermes.

What? You mean... him?

Yeah, him.

Let's get rolling.

Make room for me.

I'm coming.

Why are you coming Toulouse?

The council felted vital that I
should represent them in the field

during this crisis of public safety
to ensure cost controls are observed.

Uh-huh. Can you handle a car?

Without any compunction whatsoever.

All right then drive
that one behind you.

I guess we need all the help we can get.

I entirely agree. I'm here to help.

Sorry.

I'll put that car in my bill
to the council. Ride with Mustafa.

Mack tracks.

Yeah, they're heading toward
the settlements. Let's get rolling.

Them's a lot of macks down there.

More than I've ever seen together.

They seem peaceful enough now.

Of course they do.
They're eating all our crops.

What now Tenrec?

Ok we'll surround them just like this.
Then we'll bunch them up together and

move them all out.

It's working.

Kirgo said we should try a magic
chant the cowboys used on the cows.

Oh yeah what's that?

Goes like this.

Well, ain't that sweet?

Look who's doing us a big
favor rounding up the macks.

Sure gonna make our job a lot easier.

Now we got Jack were we want him.

Yeah, but I get the first
chunk out of his carcass.

We'll cut him off of the path.

Saddle up!

What's out there Hermes?

If Hermes starts talking I'm gone.

But he is talking Hannah. The
trick is to know what he's saying.

Heads up everyone! We
got trouble up ahead.

Here they come.

It almost makes me ashamed
this will be so easy.

Yeah me too.

Almost.

Well I'm just completely
torn up about it inside myself.

But I'll live and they won't.

Hey Hammer? We'll be taking prisoners?

Prisoners?

What's that?

We're burning daylight.
There's dirty work to do boys.

I love this part.

Charge!

We're almost on...

Qua Hoon! They tricked us!

Tenrec you...

I'll get you Tenrec!

Those poachers are going to spook
the herd if they keep up that racket.

Well I don't like it either.
Could we even talk with them?

Poachers shoot first, talk latter.

Oh no!

Jump!

Here it comes! Move!

Making friends?

Yeah, lots.

Do you think the old guy is finished?

For now, at least he's headed
in the right direction.

He'll hear you.

What?

You are lying.

I assure you my governor, I'm not.

That's impossible. Jack
moved the macks. But how?

I don't know how he did it, but
the settlements are out of danger.

No! I cannot let Tenrec succeed!

Captain Noc.

Yes governor?

Arm the guard. We march tonight.

They need water Kirgo,
herd them toward the river.

I'm trying Jack, but this
old guy got a mind of his own.

He smells the river.

Keep them together.

We'll push the herd of
Arizona's point tomorrow.

Drop down over the bugger mountains
into this valley. It's almost perfect.

The trail will pass dangerously
close to Ida, a big mining town.

Anything goes haywire and
they're gonna end up hamburger.

So we'll tell them to clear out.

Miners don't leave their claims.

We'll just have to be wide awake.
Everybody get some shut-eye.

How about some dessert first?

What you got?

Candide cactus... a la Kirgo.

Pass.

We'll attack at midnight.

We'll whack them all in their sleep.

Yeah, we'll whack them good.

That's enough Hammer.

Scharnhorst. I've skinned plenty
of things bigger than you out here.

What do you want?

What you want.

Let's make a deal.

The last deal we made with you left
us with the short end of the stick.

Just hear me out.

You see if I herd of crazed
dinosaurs just happened to

stampede through that mining town
a lot of people would be hurt.

And a lot of people would be angry.

And Jack Tenrec will be blamed
for it, and ruined for life.

Tenrec's having a tough enough time
moving that herd with his vehicles.

What makes you think
we'll do any better?

Dynamite... nice.

If Tenrec manages to survive
I'll trial him for murder.

My moles will eliminate the macks.

You'll get all the ivory.

I'll be hero and we
both get rid of Tenrec.

Sounds good to me.

In fact, it should be a real blast.

Hey, are we herding
him or is he herding us?

I bet that horn is giving him
as bad a headache as I got.

Better to have a headache that to be
made into piano keys and billiard balls.

I agree but how much longer

this is go on.

Hey bonehead! What you
got against Cadillacs?

Back off!

That's telling him!

No matter what I read in them
all books about cowpunchers.

I'd hate to do this for a living.

Me too. This is a real drag.

Yes, but I was just thinking
about the agricultural

advantage taming these
beasts bring to the settlements.

Do us all a favor. Don't think.

Sure glad we don't live in Ida.
That town is gonna be flattened!

Come on Jack. Come and get it.

Welcome to the destruction zone.

Good shooting brother Terhune.

Nothing to panic a herd of dinosaurs
like a nice little avalanche.

And maybe we'll nail
Tenrec the same time.

This rock is for you. Jack.

Is that how you spell Jack?

Yeah, J, A, K. Jack.

I thought there were two K's.

Do you think Jack's gonna check
the spelling after this falls on him?

Just hook up the line Mikla. Ok?

Ok, ok, I just thought
there were two K's.

I can't take much more of this.

How much further Jack?

There it is. That's Arizona's
point. And the pass we want.

Right now any pass will do.

Keep coming, keep coming.

It's nearly in range.

Okay Jack, ready for a
little smoke in your eyes?

Ready to blow Hammer.

Good they're almost here.

All right Jack round two.

Jack look out!

Hold on!

This will slow him down.

The herd is heading for Ida.

You're not leading them enough.

I am so!

You ain't slowing down any.

Take the wheel!

What?

You drive, catch the old boy.

What are you doing?

What I gotta do. Hurry!

Let's go ugly!

Stay close to him.

It worked!

This time I'm going
to stop him for good.

Jack! Jack!

Where, where are you Jack?

He must be under the rocks.

No kidding Toulouse. But where?

Well this arm looks kind of familiar.

Are we having fun yet?

Well the macks got a new
home, and it's beautiful.

Now let me patch you up. You're a
mess. But I must admit you do bring new

meaning to the term old blood.

Well I learned one thing.
Cadillacs and dinosaurs don't mix.

Got me a souvenir of the drive.

So did I. Let's hang this in the garage.

The council thanks you Tenrec.
For saving the settlements and for...

maintaining the balance of life.

I didn't think it could be done.

What was that all about?

Oh he was just saying goodbye.

Sounded a lot like thanks to me.