CHiPs (1977–1983): Season 2, Episode 22 - Ride the Whirlwind - full transcript

All right.

What's the matter,
man, don't you trust me?

Sure, amigo, I trust you.

I just wanna make sure
you didn't pay me too much.

I got a new connection
at the Marina.

Yeah?

He could use a big buy.

When?

Friday.

You're on.

Sindy may be the best
trail biker of the bunch...



but if you pick her, your
sergeant's gonna fry you for it.

Ah, he's gonna ask for volunteers,
and I'll make my own selections.

Look, it might be Sindy's only
chance to ride a motor, you know?

I mean, she's good at it,
she wants it, so she's in.

Hey, Jon. What
happened yesterday?

I noticed some
scratches on your motor.

Oh, yeah. Well, uh,
took a little off-road safari.

Hurt yourself?

- Hurt myself? No, just my pride.
- Ha-ha.

Pride goeth
before a fall, right?

Where is she?

Ah, she'll be here.

Hey, wanna settle down, please?

For the uninformed among you, we've been
getting complaints from hillside residents...



about illegal off-road
motorcycle riders.

Ripping up fire trails, damaging
watershed, creating noise.

But most importantly,
causing an extreme fire hazard.

These outlaw bikers have
been getting away with it...

for a reason we're all aware of.

Our street machines are just too
heavy to follow them cross-country.

Now, Officer Baker has come up
with a possible solution to the problem.

I've taken it up
with Division...

and they've given us the
green light on a pilot program.

A special trail team
consisting of three officers.

Now, some of you are more
into trail biking than others...

so I'm gonna leave this
on a voluntary basis. Uh...

Baker, this is your
detail. Pick your men.

Where is she?

Okay, uh...

I'm gonna pick my officers
for this, uh, trail team...

Hey, Jon. How about me?

Uh, yeah, just a minute,
Grossie, all right? Excuse me.

It's gonna consist of, uh, two
other officers besides myself. Uh...

Of course, I'm gonna use my
partner, Officer Poncherello.

First time we met, I
was on a trail bike, right?

Uh, wrong. The first time we met,
you had just fallen off a trail bike.

Uh, we'll read it
in your memoirs.

Would you get on with it so I can
adjust the duty roster, hmm? Go ahead.

Okay, I'm just, uh,
gonna try to decide.

I have my own
steel-plated boots.

Well, Grossie, uh...

Do you have anything
against taking Grossman?

- No, not really. Not at all.
- Okay, uh, Grossman and Poncherello.

Okay, that's it. Dismissed.

Hi.

Uh, did I miss anything?

Sindy, you missed
the whole shot.

You mean you picked already?

Getraer didn't give
him any choice.

Hey, Sindy.

You know, you might've had a
chance to be on this trail bike team.

If only you'd been there.

Jon picked a motor officer.

- I'm not a motor officer.
- You're a darn good trail biker, though.

Yeah. So are you.

Look, I was late, I
blew it. Have fun.

Mon capitaine.

What time do we start?

Oh, uh, we'll have a good
workout tomorrow, okay?

I'll be ready.

Pardon?

Oh, yeah. Okay,
Grossie. Thank you.

Look, Sindy, uh... I mean,
I stalled as long as I could.

You were to have your hand up the
minute Getraer mentioned trail team.

I know, I know, but I ran into a
T.A. on Pico. I had to stop to help.

All right.

I know how much this assignment
meant to you, the disappointment and all.

Look, Jon, you
tried. And I'm grateful.

It's a real big disappointment,
but you know what?

I'm gonna be around a while.

Okay.

See you later, huh?

You know that shakedown Jon
mentioned tomorrow afternoon?

What about it?

Out at Indian Dunes.

In case you wanna watch.

Okay. From now on I'll be the bad guy,
and you guys try and catch me, all right?

Cops and robbers?

Patrolmen and suspect,
has more dignity.

- Hi, fellas.
- Well, I'll be a...

Careful, don't say anything
I'll have to agree with.

Couldn't stay away, huh?

Well, we are on our own time. You
don't mind if I ride with you, do you?

No, that'd be fine. I've
laid out a tough course...

the kind of thing we're gonna
go up against as a team. Okay?

- Okay.
- Okay, uh...

Let's roll.

Grossie, are you hurt?

No.

I don't know what happened.

I missed it. You
mind doing it again?

I got a rule, no encores. Oh...

- Hey, how come you're limping?
- Banged my hip again.

Old football injury.

Don't worry, I'll be
all right in a minute.

Hey, listen, you guys
go ahead. We'll catch up.

Look, Grossie, don't try to
finish the course if you're hurt.

I'll walk it off in a
minute, no sweat.

Come on, let's lift this up. Oh!

Okay, that's 30
bucks you owe me.

And two days you
work for me next week.

A deal is a deal.

Just convince
Getraer, and she's in.

Trust me.

In fact, you could've
trusted me in the first place.

- What do you mean?
- I know how much this means to Sindy.

Before you came to me, I was
planning to take a brodie on my own.

For nothing?

You gonna accept my money?

Never look a gift
horse in the mouth.

Hey, Grossie?

How's the hip?

Secondary arthritic
inflammation of the ball joint.

- It's transient. Kind of...
- It comes and goes.

Yeah.

Well, look, Grossie. This
assignment means a lot to me.

- But if you're not telling the truth...
- I'll show you the bruise.

You're telling the truth.

Hey, Sindy.

Here's your stuff.
You better get dressed.

Thanks.

Look, I don't know what
was in Grossman's head.

He withdrew, and that's
volunteer's privilege.

We have other motor
officers to replace him.

There's not one female motor
officer in the state of California.

Ah, Sindy's a good officer.

She's been riding trail
bikes since she was 16...

and if she had been at briefing, I
would have picked her over Grossman.

- You just can't resist the lady, right?
- Ahem.

Ah, this is the breakthrough
she's always wanted.

Sarge, this is special duty.

Doesn't change her status. I didn't pick
her because there's anything she wants...

it was because I thought she
was the best one for the job.

Look, if she...

If she makes a mistake...

people are gonna magnify it.

They're gonna come down
on you, and her, and me.

- You're sticking her neck way out.
- She volunteered.

Look, Jon. I want
this program to work.

It's already
attracting attention.

- I want it to work.
- So do I.

Look, if you think there's anything
that I'm doing that's gonna foul it up...

I'll step down, all right?

- Take me to your leader.
- Heh.

Well, around here,
fella, I'm the leader.

Don't be frightened, earthman.
We mean you no harm.

Holy mackerel, you
creatures are ugly. Ha-ha-ha.

- Come on, Sindy, let's go.
- See you, sarge.

- Oh, Sindy?
- Yeah?

Good luck.

Thanks.

I never felt so
rotten in my life.

I'm in the pits.

I gotta die to get better.

Big deal, you been there before.

What are you two
doing, just sitting around?

Sheila's coming down,
man. She's hurting.

Had yourself a
little party, right?

Hey, man, there's
a time to relax.

Verne, we make angel
dust, we sell angel dust.

We don't use it.

Now, if you can't take
care of your old lady, split.

Ha-ha. All right, all right.

Can she hear me? VERNE: Huh?

Can she hear me?

Yeah. You're bringing
her down, man.

Verne, we got a
good thing going, man.

This is a great location.
No cars, no cops, nobody.

We're making a bundle, man.

I just don't want no PCP
freak blowing my deal.

No more parties, huh?

Like, let's...

Let's go back to work.

You wanna make
another batch, baby?

Okay, we're gonna keep in
touch by walkie-talkie, all right?

Now, be careful of the area.

It's full of gopher mounds,
mud holes, whatnot.

Not exactly the place
for a Sunday outing, huh?

Unless you happen
to be a mountain goat.

Yeah. All right, now, you take
the foothills, I'll take Rabbit Canyon.

Sindy, you scout
the valley, all right?

Let's go.

You and your cycle buddies
are gonna pay for this, mister.

Put your hands up.

Get over here before
I turn my dogs on you.

Look, I'm a police officer.

Don't look like
any cop I ever saw.

Come on, quiet the dogs down.

Lower the gun.

That's it. Now, listen, why
don't you tell me what happened?

My name's Officer Jon Baker.

Them bums again,
is what happened.

Roaring around here.

Upsetting my dogs,
running over my chickens.

And just now, they
tore through my garden.

Look at my lettuce patch.

But listen, suppose you had
fired that gun and hit somebody.

Well, it's only
loaded with rock salt.

Rock salt? I mean, rock salt
can blind people, wound people.

And you, you're the
one that'd be arrested.

I have a right to
protect my property.

No, not with extreme
force. Not with a gun.

I mean, protect your life, yes. But
the law says, protect your property, no.

Am I supposed to let
them wreck the place?

Hey, look, we'll try to
prevent that, all right?

But don't use that gun. I mean,
you're gonna wreck your whole life.

- Okay, which way did they go?
- Where they always go, up in the hills.

Next time, I'm gonna
set my dogs on them.

Next time, call
the police, all right?

Well, that'll get the old
juices flowing, won't it?

Let's hit that slope to the east
there and do some off-camber jumps.

Okay. Let's go.

You're in a restricted area.

May I see some
identification, please?

Uh, you should know
that this is my land.

I own all 20 acres of it.

It's beautiful, congratulations.

Some ID, please?

I'm Walter Dunlap. Does
that ring a bell, officer?

- Councilman Dunlap.
- That's right.

And if anybody's
trespassing here, it's you.

I didn't say
"trespassing," councilman.

Identification, please.

You're begging for
trouble, you know that?

To tell you the truth,
Mr. Dunlap, I don't have to beg.

Trouble seems to have
a way of finding me.

Now, please, let's
have your identification.

All right.

And in return, I'll take your
name and badge number.

They'll both be
on a citation, sir.

You have no right to do this.

You have no right to
ride in a restricted area.

You're disturbing the animals,
you're ripping up the watershed.

You could start
a fire right now.

You could cause a
flash flood when it rains.

On your property, Mr. Dunlap.
I don't think you want that.

I'm gonna fry you for this,
fella. I promise you that.

With all respect, councilman...

if I can be fried
for doing my job...

I'd gladly roll over when
I'm done on one side.

Now, please, find a
proper area to ride.

That's cruel. Harry, stop it.

Hey, that's enough, there.

Ha-ha-ha! Hey, what are you,
something out of Star Wars? Ha!

You're a policeman?

Uh, Highway Patrol.

You know, if I'd have known
what kind of a guy he was...

I never would have
come out with him.

You're both riding
in a restricted area.

You have some
kind of identification?

A rider destroyed a woman's
truck garden not too long ago.

Wasn't too far from here.
Actually tore up her lettuce patch.

I was there. I told
him not to do it.

- Hey, now, look...
- Hey, now, wait a minute.

You have a score to settle
with that ranchwoman.

Don't you want my
name and address?

In case you need me later.

Uh, right, yeah. Um...

Why don't you both follow
me over to the ranch?

Okay.

Somebody's coming
a little too close.

Come on, Verne.
Let's go run them off.

Down there. Looks like he's decked
out for a motocross tournament.

With a badge and a gun?

That's a CHP helmet, pal.

- Ha. A cop out here?
- Like the sheriff's team in San Diego.

We better get him
out of here, man.

Cool it. See what he does first.

Coby, that's a chick.

A she-bear.

Huh.

Let's lead the lady out of here.

- Sindy, what happened? How'd you spill?
- I didn't spill, I was resting.

Oh.

You and the bike, huh?

I was chasing a biker and he
shot me a front-wheel kick-off.

Ooh. Very old
and very dirty trick.

- Well, he took me by surprise.
- Uh-huh.

- Let me look at that ankle, it might be...
- Ponch.

Look, my feelings are
hurt, I'm mad at that guy...

and my pride is shattered, so
don't talk to me about my ankle.

Okay.

Look, how'd you guys
like to grab a bite to eat?

- Not tonight.
- Not tonight.

I'm gonna turn these
in. I'll see you later.

- So long.
- See you.

How's your you-know-what?

Hurts like the devil, but I'll
put heat on it when I get home.

Think you can walk out?

I don't know. I walked in.

Yeah, we were lucky
we weren't seen.

Well, what do you suggest?

Make way for the
trail team express!

Whoo! Whoa. SINDY: Aah!

Hi, sarge. Just feeling good,
having a good time, ha-ha, you know.

Heh.

Would you like a ride?

No? All right. Okay, I'm
just gonna put the chair back.

Heh-heh. See you.

Okay, milady. Dinner is served.

You know, I really
could've done all this myself.

But I appreciate
the help. Thanks.

Hey, when it comes to cooking
frozen dinners, I'm an expert.

How's the ankle?

Almost ready for
the disco swing.

Funny. I never really looked
at your naked foot before.

So soft, so pink, so swollen.

I know.

It's beginning to loosen up now.

I'll soak it, and I'll walk
it off later, that's all.

You expecting anyone?

Hey.

- It's only me.
- Hi, Jon.

Sindy invited me over for a bite
to eat, then I'm going on home.

Yeah. How bad is it, Sindy?

How bad is what?

Come on, you've been trying
to hide that limp all afternoon.

Jon, she took a little spill.
Anybody could take a spill.

Even Grossman?

Grossman?

Pretending he does have a limp?

Pretending?

Look, Sindy, we all
wanted you on the team.

I mean, that's the bottom line.

But how bad is it?

I'll be riding
tomorrow, no sweat.

Yeah, maybe.

Let me see you walk.

Are you worried about me or
how the team makes out tomorrow?

Come on. Don't ask that question.
I have to consider both of them.

We're playing for
high stakes out there.

It's the game, the team, just because
your ego's involved, that's why.

Maybe it is my ego.

Maybe your ego
affects your judgment.

- Wait. If you think my ego...
- Time!

All right, a little time.

It's only when someone
doesn't have enough ego...

that he gets in
trouble trying to find it.

- Now, what's wrong with a little ego?
- That's right.

Jon's entitled. The trail team was his
idea. You on the trail team was his idea.

And all of Sacramento
is watching.

And, Jon, if Sindy didn't
have a healthy ego, she...

All right, hold it.
Okay, I admit it. Ego.

If I can't pull my own weight
tomorrow, I won't be there.

Okay. Now, for my friend, Sindy
Cahill, let me see you walk, okay?

Okay. Now will you go
with me to the doctor?

Let me get a slipper and a sock.

Grossman backed out so I could
take the assignment, didn't he?

Well, uh, he and Ponch
thought that was a secret...

so don't thank him, huh?

Fine thing.

I sweat and slave in the kitchen
and she takes off with another guy.

An 851, huh?

- How's the ankle?
- Hot stuff.

All right. No heavy action, or
you call for help today, okay?

Okay.

Jon, thanks for
not replacing me.

Don't thank me. Thank the doctor.
One wrong word, you'd be at a desk.

I keep forgetting you
have a heart of stone.

That female Chipper
almost run Coby up a tree.

And he lucked out and
got away. Ha-ha-ha.

- Funny. What a scene.
- Ha-ha-ha.

I'll dump you both if
you don't knock it off.

Hey, everything's cool, Coby.

What you doing, anyway?

What am I doing?

You mean, "What am I
doing with my muffler, Coby?"

- Yeah.
- Well, I'll tell you.

I'm fixing a little
surprise for that she-bear.

I got my spark arrester all
rigged so that all you do...

is just reach
down and pull it off.

Remember what you said about
a nice, quiet operation, Coby?

Now, don't let a little
Chipper-fluff get under your skin.

Oh, she'll be coming
after me again.

Only, this time, I got a
hot little surprise for her.

Coby, don't fire up in here!
The ether might explode!

So it's you again.

Well, you've really
blown it this time, buddy.

I'm gonna haul
you up on charges.

Harassment first, and
then assault with intent.

I wanna show you something,
Mr. Dunlap. Come with me.

- Hey. He doesn't have to.
- Oh, no, I'll handle him, honey.

I'm gonna squeeze
you dry, fella.

I'm asking you in a nice
way, Mr. Dunlap. Follow me.

What are you trying to pull?

I want you to see where you'd
gone if I hadn't dumped you.

You didn't check. You might
have jumped into another biker.

Or kids having a picnic.

But in this case, you would
only have killed yourself.

And maybe your lady friend.

I don't know what you're
trying to prove, but...

- Now, listen, officer...
- No, you listen, Mr. Councilman.

I find you riding in a
restricted area one more time...

you're gonna end up
downtown. Is that understood?

Hey, Coby. It's mama bear.

Trail 3, this is Trail 5.

I've located an abandoned
farmhouse with bike tracks.

This is Trail 3. What's
your 10-20, Trail 5?

A little valley, west
of the Wagner Ridge.

10-4, Trail 5. Just maintain
surveillance. I'm on my way.

Is anybody in there?

She might have radioed
for help. I'm cutting out.

What about Sheila and me? It's
gonna take five minutes to fix that wheel.

Five minutes? I'll be
long gone in five minutes.

You split when you can.

You got our stash?

Somebody's coming.

I'm ready. Come on, let's go.

Hang on.

You okay?

Hey, come on. Why
don't you get up?

Here, let me help.

There we go. Take it easy.

Can you handle it? I'll get him.

No, you handle it. He's mine.

Okay, put your left
hand on your head.

Angel dust.

Devil dirt, huh?

Let's go.

Look, we're supposed to be a team.
We're supposed to work together.

I could have helped,
but nobody called.

Nobody asked for assistance.
You both took off on your own.

Well, where were
you, brave captain?

Well, I was, uh, busy.

And you didn't want to
stop to use your radios...

because you might have lost
your suspects and look bad.

Particularly when you're out here
with a man as efficient as I am.

I think you're both
having another ego attack.

I'm glad I'm so good. I
don't have that problem.

Hey, officers...

I just thought you'd like to know
Division is pleased with your work.

Rates a commendable
incident report.

The girl turned
state's evidence...

so we got the guys and a
couple buyers, dead-bang.

So I guess that means all
loose ends are tied up, huh?

Uh... Not quite.

Councilman Dunlap wants
to see you in my office.

Why does it always have
to rain on my parade, huh?

Good afternoon.

It was.

It was wrong, what I did
up in the hills the other day.

I, uh...

I should have admitted it then.

To you and to myself.

But the girl was there.

My wife divorced
me about a year ago.

I'm moving towards 50.

That's half a century, you know.

Oh, it's...

It's ego. That's what it is.

I've been...

I've been trying to prove I'm just
as good now as I've always been.

Can you, uh...?

I can empathize
with that, councilman.

"Empathize." That's it.
That's exactly the right word.

Oh...

Oh, boy. You sure know
how to blow a beautiful exit.

Ooh.

Wow. Dig that Mona Lisa.

I wonder who she's waiting for.

Oh, uh...

Probably some
good-looking young dude...

with irresistible personality,
charm and macho.

Hi, Jon.

Excuse me.