C.H.U.E.C.O. (2023–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - Chueco y la SPA - full transcript
The Gustozzi family receives a visit from the director of the Animal Protection Society who wants to check on the ape's well being. But, when she sees the ape being treated as a human being, she warns them that if the ape doesn't start behaving like the animal he is he will have to be taken to a sanctuary. Chueco takes this the wrong way and will do everything in his power to scare the director away.
♪ Chueco ♪
"SIMIAN CODE"
MAN (over TV):
The Solar System is in danger.
And only they can save it.
WOMAN (over TV):
Lieutenant, activate Simian Code.
Apes, meteorites, and spaceships?
That's my dream come true. Unbelievable!
MAN (over TV):
Galactic Alert: Code S.I.M.I.A.N.
In theaters.
Juancito, can we go watch this movie?
Please, now, come on.
No way.
(groans)
Galaxy Theaters
doesn't allow pets, stop it.
I have an idea.
Uh, what if I go in costume?
-It's a good idea!
-Yes, yes.
If Chueco is in costume, nobody will...
No way!
-No way.
-DELFINA: Come on, Dad.
He can go as a stuffed animal.
Or as a child.
Ah! Or as a child
in a stuffed doll costume.
Well, I'm leaving for my date.
Amandita, please...
I left you some quesadillas to heat up.
What, Chueco?
Why did you put on glasses as a disguise?
It's not a disguise.
These are glasses for eyestrain.
I have eyestrain, too.
AMANDA: Mmm.
But from seeing you.
I'm so glad I'll spend the whole afternoon
without you, creature.
-Amanda, enjoy, you look great.
-Thanks.
-You're gorgeous, Amandita!
-Ouch!
-(Martin gasps)
-What?
Today at nine. At Galaxy Theaters.
Code S.I.M.I.A.N. Shall I buy tickets?
-Yes!
-Yes, yes!
No, no, no.
I won't risk ten years of history
with that theater
because of Chueco's whim. No, kids.
I know I always say no
and you end up doing whatever you want,
but this time will be different.
If I say we won't go to the movies,
we won't go.
Fine, fine. Try to blend in.
What a shame.
A handsome, hunky youngster like me
reduced to this.
Sorry, it was all we could improvise.
It's fine. Where's Juan?
We're going to miss the movie!
Calm down, Grandpa, calm down.
(yelling) I'm calm!
Okay. I've got the tickets.
With this purchase,
I'm 350 points away from...
-Nebula Level!
-Nebula!
(laughs) Vicente, here's the ticket
for your documentary.
Yes! Thank you, Juan.
You're watching a documentary?
Yes. The Complex Adolescence
of the City Ant.
I better hurry to get in line.
You don't need to run.
It was the only ticket sold, son.
(gasps) Yeah! I'm alone!
-Yes! The whole theater for you.
-Yes.
Yes! Oh, I love him. I love him.
Great. Here's your tickets. Share them.
Listen. Number one,
under control, quiet, in silence.
Number two: Chueco,
if I'm banished from this theater,
I swear I'm going to... to...
I can't think of anything, but I will.
-Okay.
-What, Dad? You're not coming with us?
Of course not. Sven's Sins. It was
a hit in Cannes, I want to watch it.
I know.
It's one of those movies where it seems
nothing's going on, but, actually,
nothing's going on.
We call it art film, children, art film.
Yes, making people bored is an art, too.
Right, Juancito?
I want a large popcorn and a large soda,
large nachos, a large hot dog...
And if possible, a chocolate milkshake...
-Large!
-Yes.
Yes, Chueco. When we get in the theater,
we'll buy you everything, okay?
The person at the stand
is a little... heavy.
Do you remember when he spit
on a kid's popcorn
because he wouldn't shut up?
Yes, I remember.
I was the kid.
Come on, move! Come on, move forward!
-Rogelio, Rogelio.
-Move, guys.
JUAN: Breathe, act normal, act normal.
(exhales nervously) Ticket in hand.
Don't look Rogelio in the eye.
JUAN: Head down. Come on.
Look down, look down, Grandpa. Yes.
This director's style has always
reminded me of the work of Metinides.
Hmm. Yes, I think the same.
It's fascinating, professor.
Please, don't call me "professor."
Call me Claudio.
-One moment, please!
-(Juan shrieks)
Oh...
Why don't we go eat
and come back another day?
What? You have to watch Sven's Sins.
I can't believe being such
a Gunnarson fan, you haven't watched it.
You'll see, it's wonderful.
You won't regret it.
Something tells me I will regret it.
(PA system chimes)
ANNOUNCER: Attention, please,
the movie is about to start.
You'd better shut up, and don't complain.
Attention, please,
the movie is about to start.
Turn off your phone or we'll arrest you.
Has it started?
Yes, Chueco, yes.
(cinematic music over big screen plays)
MAN 1 (over big screen): Yes, Captain,
our chimps are trained
to track the meteorite.
What are they,
chimps or hunting dogs? Ugh.
WOMAN: Shh!
MAN 2 (over big screen):
Tell the banana ship
it has permission to take off.
How did they learn to pilot
the banana ship?
In a simian-lator?
-(Chueco laughing)
-(both hushing)
MAN (over big screen):
Zero gravity activated.
What does zero gravity mean?
That it's not that serious?
(chuckles)
Chueco, this movie is overstimulating you.
I'm taking you to my dad.
What? No!
If you buy me a chocolate milkshake,
I can think about it.
Stay still, Chueco.
Don't even think about talking.
-CHUECO: You're overreacting.
-DELFINA: You're insufferable.
(somber music playing)
I read this scene wasn't
in the original script.
And the actress improvised it.
I would never have guessed that.
(Chueco humming loudly)
What? Delfina, what?
DELFINA: I brought him
because we can't stand him.
-What?
-All yours.
Shush. Come here, come here.
Take him. Take him.
(sighs)
(somber music playing on screen)
So? What's up with this movie?
Code S.I.M.I.A.N. was space garbage.
Chueco, please, behave.
What's this movie about, Juan?
Calm down and I'll tell you.
The main character is being judged
by a court of ancestors
who are like ghosts for her.
They're trying to make her,
as well as you, purge her soul.
Why is all she's doing
is just staring at herself in the pond?
Shh! Chueco. You're embarrassing me.
It's symbolic,
the pond is a reflection of herself.
It's inviting her to do
a self-discovery exercise.
CHUECO: Hm.
Okay. And that dog back there
doing its business, what does that mean?
Shh!
Sorry, sorry.
It means you're
the worst movie mate I've ever had.
You know what?
I liked the other movie better
even though it was garbage.
Could you take me back there?
Shh!
Sorry. Yes, I'll take you.
-Forgive him.
-JUAN: I'm sorry, I apologize to you all.
Sorry. Help me, Chueco.
Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
-Sorry, excuse me, excuse me.
-Hi, hi.
-All yours. Sorry to all of you.
-Dad!
Guys, I'm back.
Shh!
So now what?
Are you going to buy me
my popcorn, soda, nachos,
hotdogs, and chocolate milkshake?
-Your turn.
-Why me?
I already left.
(thrilling music playing on screen)
Hey, Martin,
don't forget the chocolate milkshake!
Whisper, whisper.
Okay, sorry, sorry...
MAN (over big screen): Seeing how bad
he drives, he could be my grandpa.
(laughs)
What took you so long?
-MARTIN: Here.
-I asked for a chocolate milkshake.
And there's no cheese on the nachos!
Shh!
Nachos without cheese
are like olives without caramel,
they don't make sense.
Shh!
Can you get a different one?
-No.
-Huh?
Then take me to the other theater.
AUDIENCE: Shh!
Shush!
CODE S.I.M.I.A.N.
(slurping loudly)
No, please, no. Please, let it not be him.
Why are you back here, Chueco?
Is that the famous Sven?
Shh!
Yes, he's a representation of the devil.
The devil?
These movies should include instructions.
You should include instructions. You!
Also, please, understand it.
These are symbols, Chueco, symbols.
Symbols?
This is a movie, Juan,
not the Aztec calendar.
Be quiet!
My dad will beat you up!
I'm not his father. Shush, I can't fight.
-People are so ignorant.
-Yes.
-Let's go see another movie.
-Don't you think it's a masterpiece?
Well, within Gunnarson's filmography,
I think...
it's one of his minor films.
Also, a court of ghosts
seems like a cliché
and rather clumsy symbolism.
Who sings "La Marseillaise"
at a funeral for a horse?
And furthermore,
who holds a funeral for a horse?
Shh!
We can check what else there is.
If I had known we were going
to watch this garbage,
I'd have stayed at home...
reading Guttemberg Cheesecake.
Guttemberg... Right, right, yes, yes.
Can you get another milkshake?
Please, Chueco, you're ruining the movie.
This movie was already ruined
by the director.
-Out! Or I call the manager.
-No, no, no.
-Shake, shake, shake.
-No!
I had nachos thrown at me.
Yes, Juan, hit him hard.
Show him who you are!
No, I can't do it. Let's go.
I'm covered in nachos.
This is the worst day ever.
Hey, don't forget about the milkshake.
What are you doing here?
-Your movie hasn't finished yet.
-(gasping)
-Hi, Rogelio.
-Hi.
How are you? We had an emergency
with my grandpa.
It's forbidden to leave the room
before the movie is over.
It was an exception. He was desperate...
According to the official constitution
of Galaxy Theaters,
leaving the room before the movie is over
can lead to losing 2,200 galactic points
and/or a quiz with surprise questions
about the movie in question.
No, no, no...
Please, hand me your space guest card.
Rogelio, if I could kneel down,
I'd ask you please to understand.
This won't happen again.
They all say that.
Your card, please.
Excuse me, Officer Rogelio,
but it was all my fault.
You see, I suffer from cataracts, yes.
And water started flowing from my eyes.
That's not how cataracts work.
Oh, dear, mine do.
Literally, they're the Niagara Cataracts.
And I didn't want to stain
your comfortable leather seats.
-Imitation leather.
-Yeah, that, that.
You're a young, strong, healthy man,
and I can tell your job
as a movie guardian has toughened you.
But not all are as strong as you are.
(cries)
Well... I hadn't looked at it like that.
I guess I can make an exception.
How humane, Rogelio, how humane.
Also, I tell you, I'm 350 points away
from going up a level...
My children aren't here.
-Nebula!
-That's fine, sir.
But I warn you, just this once.
MAN (over radio):
Code Red, there's an individual
yelling out spoilers in Theater 15!
I'm coming!
-Run, Rogelio!
-Be strong, Rogelio!
Hey, Juancito,
why don't we go to that movie?
That one?
A romantic comedy?
Look, Chueco, I'd rather have my eyes
pulled out with a hot iron and eat them.
(laughing)
Calm down, Chueco.
I don't get it.
Juancito, listen, it's symbolic.
The guy who falls in the swimming pool
represents human clumsiness. (laughs)
And what's so funny?
Right now, your face.
(laughing)
Hey.
My popcorn is running out,
get out of there.
MAN (over big screen):
You know the worst part?
I don't even like football.
(laughing)
Chueco, Chueco...
-Are you okay?
-No.
No, no. Actually, I feel dizzy...
That happens a lot
when I come to the movies...
It's something about the celluloid,
I get dizzy...
-Does something like that exist?
-Yes. It's called cellulitis.
(laughing loudly)
(suspenseful music playing on screen)
(gasps)
-I didn't know I had this.
-No, what are you doing?
You can't eat food from outside.
Don't freak out, nobody will notice.
No, of course they will notice.
The snack counter
doesn't carry that brand.
(chuckles)
(alarm blaring)
Excuse the interruption.
Apparently, somebody
has smuggled in food
from outside this establishment.
We'll have to carry out
a routine inspection.
Heydrich!
ROGELIO: Search, boy!
(Heydrich sniffing)
Come on, Heydrich!
Come on, Heydrich!
(Heydrich panting)
There, Heydrich, very good!
Don't treat me like a dog.
Shh, shh, shh! Easy, boy, don't bark.
There you go. There.
There, boy, eat. There.
This is all your fault.
All this just for a piece of chocolate.
Rules are rules.
Dad will kill you.
-(sniffing)
-Good Heydrich...
Good Heydrich...
Javier isn't a pet.
He's a professional.
And he doesn't like
to be distracted at work.
(laughing)
See? It's his friend's car.
(Juan laughing sarcastically)
(Juan gasps)
Chueco...
-What?
-That's Gustavo.
Yes.
Yes, that's him!
My neighbor, my neighbor.
Genius!
-(alarm blaring)
-Don't want to miss the end of the movie.
-No, it was him, please.
-(alarm blaring)
No, it was him.
The guy behind. Let's go, Chueco.
He's running, get him!
Don't let him get away.
(sniffing)
There's something here.
Stand up, kid.
(Heydrich groans)
How terrible. Your feet stink.
Yes, sorry.
Sorry, I haven't changed my socks
in a month.
There's something else here.
Show me the contents
of your backpack, please.
I don't have all day!
What's this?
You know it's forbidden by law
to carry more than 28 grams of lasagna
into the theater.
I didn't know! I didn't know.
I swear, somebody planted it.
Do you think I'm stupid?
No, no, no, Mr. Rogelio.
It's medicinal lasagna.
My doctor recommended it.
Your space guest card. Your card, come on.
-Okay...
-Hand me your card.
Don't take away
my galactic points, please.
Too late.
(radio chimes)
Four forty.
We've got a six twenty-six in Theater A.
You've earned it, boy.
No... My galactic points...
No! Oh, no!
(both sigh)
I need this day to be over, Chueco.
I can't...
(muffled shriek)
Chueco!
I'll buy you anything you want, Chueco.
Chueco...
Oh, Chueco, I love you. And I hate you.
What's up, neighbor?
I found him lost in the seats.
I think he recognized me by my smell.
Sir, you do have a very particular smell.
But I don't know you.
(Juan gasps)
Gus, why are you in disguise?
I've been banned for life
for crying too loud.
Here? What moved you so much?
A gum commercial...
-A what commercial?
-A gum commercial.
Okay... Was it moving?
It was touching.
Tell me about it some other day.
Chueco, you had me worried.
What is this animal doing here?
He came to watch a movie.
I meant the ape.
-I'm sorry, Rogelio, sorry.
-Weren't you with your grandpa?
Yes, I was here with my grandpa.
Sorry, but he got a "cataractitis" attack
and he's in the bathroom.
-How come I never met your grandpa?
-I'll tell you later, Gus.
-I know you.
-Yes, he's my friend.
Yes, I have an extensive career in movies.
No, no, it's not that.
Weren't you banned from coming
after you made a huge drama
about a soda commercial?
Gum. Sorry, gum.
-It was very touching.
-Very.
-No, no, no.
-(radio chimes)
Please, back up. Back up in the hall!
No, no. Hey, this is abuse of authority.
Yes, right. You break the rules,
but you're the victims.
-Respect me, I'm famous.
-Yes.
(chattering)
What?
Yes, yes.
(gasps)
Easy, Rogelio, easy! The ape is mine.
Technically no,
he belongs to the production.
What production?
Let me introduce myself. I'm Juan...
Garsenbreider.
I'm the senior achievement...
chief "spader blackvider"...
of marketing for Code S.I.M.I.A.N.
My Marketing and Advertising team and I
thought
we could come to your theater with one
of the main characters of the movie,
to bond with the audience,
take pictures, interact...
But seeing the inhumane treatment
you offer any living creature here,
I'm going to back out on this plan.
No, no, no, please, reconsider...
Sh, sh, sh! "Reconsider" is a verb
that's not in my dictionary.
But, sorry, I don't... I didn't know...
I didn't know we had
a celebrity in the audience.
Two celebrities.
Okay, Gus.
What's his name?
The simian is called...
Chucho... Chucho Ravioli.
He's an Italian celebrity.
Hi, Chucho!
What a nice chimp.
Maybe I can reconsider the decision
and move on
with our marketing project with Chucho.
But I have two conditions. Number one,
you have to remove my friend
from the black list
and give him his space card.
-Done.
-Number two,
award me
the 350 I need to reach Nebula Level.
-Oh, God.
-Don't take advantage.
Okay, I overstepped.
CODE S.I.M.I.A.N.
Amanda, what's up?
I'm a fraud.
I've been lying all this time.
Why?
I'm not an art broker
and I don't have a podcast.
I actually work
as a housekeeper for a family.
I have something to confess, too.
I'm not a Scandinavian Medieval Art
professor at the university.
I'm a P.E. teacher at a primary school.
Why didn't you tell me?
What's wrong with that?
-We're both liars.
-We're both liars.
It was good,
but monkeys talking in space
seemed kind of fake.
Really? You literally have
a talking monkey at home.
Too bad Chueco didn't finish the movie,
he would have loved it.
(Rogelio clears throat)
Ladies and gentlemen,
before you leave,
we have a little surprise for you.
-My documentary was great.
-Great, son.
-And Chueco?
-Um...
You're about to find out.
ROGELIO: I'd like to introduce
one of the main characters
from the movie we just watched.
Let me present...
Chucho!
(all applauding)
(epic music playing)
-That furry creature lives in my house.
-Really?
Chucho, Chucho, Chucho, Chucho, Chucho!
♪ Chueco ♪
(theme music playing)
Translated by: Ianina Antonetti
"SIMIAN CODE"
MAN (over TV):
The Solar System is in danger.
And only they can save it.
WOMAN (over TV):
Lieutenant, activate Simian Code.
Apes, meteorites, and spaceships?
That's my dream come true. Unbelievable!
MAN (over TV):
Galactic Alert: Code S.I.M.I.A.N.
In theaters.
Juancito, can we go watch this movie?
Please, now, come on.
No way.
(groans)
Galaxy Theaters
doesn't allow pets, stop it.
I have an idea.
Uh, what if I go in costume?
-It's a good idea!
-Yes, yes.
If Chueco is in costume, nobody will...
No way!
-No way.
-DELFINA: Come on, Dad.
He can go as a stuffed animal.
Or as a child.
Ah! Or as a child
in a stuffed doll costume.
Well, I'm leaving for my date.
Amandita, please...
I left you some quesadillas to heat up.
What, Chueco?
Why did you put on glasses as a disguise?
It's not a disguise.
These are glasses for eyestrain.
I have eyestrain, too.
AMANDA: Mmm.
But from seeing you.
I'm so glad I'll spend the whole afternoon
without you, creature.
-Amanda, enjoy, you look great.
-Thanks.
-You're gorgeous, Amandita!
-Ouch!
-(Martin gasps)
-What?
Today at nine. At Galaxy Theaters.
Code S.I.M.I.A.N. Shall I buy tickets?
-Yes!
-Yes, yes!
No, no, no.
I won't risk ten years of history
with that theater
because of Chueco's whim. No, kids.
I know I always say no
and you end up doing whatever you want,
but this time will be different.
If I say we won't go to the movies,
we won't go.
Fine, fine. Try to blend in.
What a shame.
A handsome, hunky youngster like me
reduced to this.
Sorry, it was all we could improvise.
It's fine. Where's Juan?
We're going to miss the movie!
Calm down, Grandpa, calm down.
(yelling) I'm calm!
Okay. I've got the tickets.
With this purchase,
I'm 350 points away from...
-Nebula Level!
-Nebula!
(laughs) Vicente, here's the ticket
for your documentary.
Yes! Thank you, Juan.
You're watching a documentary?
Yes. The Complex Adolescence
of the City Ant.
I better hurry to get in line.
You don't need to run.
It was the only ticket sold, son.
(gasps) Yeah! I'm alone!
-Yes! The whole theater for you.
-Yes.
Yes! Oh, I love him. I love him.
Great. Here's your tickets. Share them.
Listen. Number one,
under control, quiet, in silence.
Number two: Chueco,
if I'm banished from this theater,
I swear I'm going to... to...
I can't think of anything, but I will.
-Okay.
-What, Dad? You're not coming with us?
Of course not. Sven's Sins. It was
a hit in Cannes, I want to watch it.
I know.
It's one of those movies where it seems
nothing's going on, but, actually,
nothing's going on.
We call it art film, children, art film.
Yes, making people bored is an art, too.
Right, Juancito?
I want a large popcorn and a large soda,
large nachos, a large hot dog...
And if possible, a chocolate milkshake...
-Large!
-Yes.
Yes, Chueco. When we get in the theater,
we'll buy you everything, okay?
The person at the stand
is a little... heavy.
Do you remember when he spit
on a kid's popcorn
because he wouldn't shut up?
Yes, I remember.
I was the kid.
Come on, move! Come on, move forward!
-Rogelio, Rogelio.
-Move, guys.
JUAN: Breathe, act normal, act normal.
(exhales nervously) Ticket in hand.
Don't look Rogelio in the eye.
JUAN: Head down. Come on.
Look down, look down, Grandpa. Yes.
This director's style has always
reminded me of the work of Metinides.
Hmm. Yes, I think the same.
It's fascinating, professor.
Please, don't call me "professor."
Call me Claudio.
-One moment, please!
-(Juan shrieks)
Oh...
Why don't we go eat
and come back another day?
What? You have to watch Sven's Sins.
I can't believe being such
a Gunnarson fan, you haven't watched it.
You'll see, it's wonderful.
You won't regret it.
Something tells me I will regret it.
(PA system chimes)
ANNOUNCER: Attention, please,
the movie is about to start.
You'd better shut up, and don't complain.
Attention, please,
the movie is about to start.
Turn off your phone or we'll arrest you.
Has it started?
Yes, Chueco, yes.
(cinematic music over big screen plays)
MAN 1 (over big screen): Yes, Captain,
our chimps are trained
to track the meteorite.
What are they,
chimps or hunting dogs? Ugh.
WOMAN: Shh!
MAN 2 (over big screen):
Tell the banana ship
it has permission to take off.
How did they learn to pilot
the banana ship?
In a simian-lator?
-(Chueco laughing)
-(both hushing)
MAN (over big screen):
Zero gravity activated.
What does zero gravity mean?
That it's not that serious?
(chuckles)
Chueco, this movie is overstimulating you.
I'm taking you to my dad.
What? No!
If you buy me a chocolate milkshake,
I can think about it.
Stay still, Chueco.
Don't even think about talking.
-CHUECO: You're overreacting.
-DELFINA: You're insufferable.
(somber music playing)
I read this scene wasn't
in the original script.
And the actress improvised it.
I would never have guessed that.
(Chueco humming loudly)
What? Delfina, what?
DELFINA: I brought him
because we can't stand him.
-What?
-All yours.
Shush. Come here, come here.
Take him. Take him.
(sighs)
(somber music playing on screen)
So? What's up with this movie?
Code S.I.M.I.A.N. was space garbage.
Chueco, please, behave.
What's this movie about, Juan?
Calm down and I'll tell you.
The main character is being judged
by a court of ancestors
who are like ghosts for her.
They're trying to make her,
as well as you, purge her soul.
Why is all she's doing
is just staring at herself in the pond?
Shh! Chueco. You're embarrassing me.
It's symbolic,
the pond is a reflection of herself.
It's inviting her to do
a self-discovery exercise.
CHUECO: Hm.
Okay. And that dog back there
doing its business, what does that mean?
Shh!
Sorry, sorry.
It means you're
the worst movie mate I've ever had.
You know what?
I liked the other movie better
even though it was garbage.
Could you take me back there?
Shh!
Sorry. Yes, I'll take you.
-Forgive him.
-JUAN: I'm sorry, I apologize to you all.
Sorry. Help me, Chueco.
Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
-Sorry, excuse me, excuse me.
-Hi, hi.
-All yours. Sorry to all of you.
-Dad!
Guys, I'm back.
Shh!
So now what?
Are you going to buy me
my popcorn, soda, nachos,
hotdogs, and chocolate milkshake?
-Your turn.
-Why me?
I already left.
(thrilling music playing on screen)
Hey, Martin,
don't forget the chocolate milkshake!
Whisper, whisper.
Okay, sorry, sorry...
MAN (over big screen): Seeing how bad
he drives, he could be my grandpa.
(laughs)
What took you so long?
-MARTIN: Here.
-I asked for a chocolate milkshake.
And there's no cheese on the nachos!
Shh!
Nachos without cheese
are like olives without caramel,
they don't make sense.
Shh!
Can you get a different one?
-No.
-Huh?
Then take me to the other theater.
AUDIENCE: Shh!
Shush!
CODE S.I.M.I.A.N.
(slurping loudly)
No, please, no. Please, let it not be him.
Why are you back here, Chueco?
Is that the famous Sven?
Shh!
Yes, he's a representation of the devil.
The devil?
These movies should include instructions.
You should include instructions. You!
Also, please, understand it.
These are symbols, Chueco, symbols.
Symbols?
This is a movie, Juan,
not the Aztec calendar.
Be quiet!
My dad will beat you up!
I'm not his father. Shush, I can't fight.
-People are so ignorant.
-Yes.
-Let's go see another movie.
-Don't you think it's a masterpiece?
Well, within Gunnarson's filmography,
I think...
it's one of his minor films.
Also, a court of ghosts
seems like a cliché
and rather clumsy symbolism.
Who sings "La Marseillaise"
at a funeral for a horse?
And furthermore,
who holds a funeral for a horse?
Shh!
We can check what else there is.
If I had known we were going
to watch this garbage,
I'd have stayed at home...
reading Guttemberg Cheesecake.
Guttemberg... Right, right, yes, yes.
Can you get another milkshake?
Please, Chueco, you're ruining the movie.
This movie was already ruined
by the director.
-Out! Or I call the manager.
-No, no, no.
-Shake, shake, shake.
-No!
I had nachos thrown at me.
Yes, Juan, hit him hard.
Show him who you are!
No, I can't do it. Let's go.
I'm covered in nachos.
This is the worst day ever.
Hey, don't forget about the milkshake.
What are you doing here?
-Your movie hasn't finished yet.
-(gasping)
-Hi, Rogelio.
-Hi.
How are you? We had an emergency
with my grandpa.
It's forbidden to leave the room
before the movie is over.
It was an exception. He was desperate...
According to the official constitution
of Galaxy Theaters,
leaving the room before the movie is over
can lead to losing 2,200 galactic points
and/or a quiz with surprise questions
about the movie in question.
No, no, no...
Please, hand me your space guest card.
Rogelio, if I could kneel down,
I'd ask you please to understand.
This won't happen again.
They all say that.
Your card, please.
Excuse me, Officer Rogelio,
but it was all my fault.
You see, I suffer from cataracts, yes.
And water started flowing from my eyes.
That's not how cataracts work.
Oh, dear, mine do.
Literally, they're the Niagara Cataracts.
And I didn't want to stain
your comfortable leather seats.
-Imitation leather.
-Yeah, that, that.
You're a young, strong, healthy man,
and I can tell your job
as a movie guardian has toughened you.
But not all are as strong as you are.
(cries)
Well... I hadn't looked at it like that.
I guess I can make an exception.
How humane, Rogelio, how humane.
Also, I tell you, I'm 350 points away
from going up a level...
My children aren't here.
-Nebula!
-That's fine, sir.
But I warn you, just this once.
MAN (over radio):
Code Red, there's an individual
yelling out spoilers in Theater 15!
I'm coming!
-Run, Rogelio!
-Be strong, Rogelio!
Hey, Juancito,
why don't we go to that movie?
That one?
A romantic comedy?
Look, Chueco, I'd rather have my eyes
pulled out with a hot iron and eat them.
(laughing)
Calm down, Chueco.
I don't get it.
Juancito, listen, it's symbolic.
The guy who falls in the swimming pool
represents human clumsiness. (laughs)
And what's so funny?
Right now, your face.
(laughing)
Hey.
My popcorn is running out,
get out of there.
MAN (over big screen):
You know the worst part?
I don't even like football.
(laughing)
Chueco, Chueco...
-Are you okay?
-No.
No, no. Actually, I feel dizzy...
That happens a lot
when I come to the movies...
It's something about the celluloid,
I get dizzy...
-Does something like that exist?
-Yes. It's called cellulitis.
(laughing loudly)
(suspenseful music playing on screen)
(gasps)
-I didn't know I had this.
-No, what are you doing?
You can't eat food from outside.
Don't freak out, nobody will notice.
No, of course they will notice.
The snack counter
doesn't carry that brand.
(chuckles)
(alarm blaring)
Excuse the interruption.
Apparently, somebody
has smuggled in food
from outside this establishment.
We'll have to carry out
a routine inspection.
Heydrich!
ROGELIO: Search, boy!
(Heydrich sniffing)
Come on, Heydrich!
Come on, Heydrich!
(Heydrich panting)
There, Heydrich, very good!
Don't treat me like a dog.
Shh, shh, shh! Easy, boy, don't bark.
There you go. There.
There, boy, eat. There.
This is all your fault.
All this just for a piece of chocolate.
Rules are rules.
Dad will kill you.
-(sniffing)
-Good Heydrich...
Good Heydrich...
Javier isn't a pet.
He's a professional.
And he doesn't like
to be distracted at work.
(laughing)
See? It's his friend's car.
(Juan laughing sarcastically)
(Juan gasps)
Chueco...
-What?
-That's Gustavo.
Yes.
Yes, that's him!
My neighbor, my neighbor.
Genius!
-(alarm blaring)
-Don't want to miss the end of the movie.
-No, it was him, please.
-(alarm blaring)
No, it was him.
The guy behind. Let's go, Chueco.
He's running, get him!
Don't let him get away.
(sniffing)
There's something here.
Stand up, kid.
(Heydrich groans)
How terrible. Your feet stink.
Yes, sorry.
Sorry, I haven't changed my socks
in a month.
There's something else here.
Show me the contents
of your backpack, please.
I don't have all day!
What's this?
You know it's forbidden by law
to carry more than 28 grams of lasagna
into the theater.
I didn't know! I didn't know.
I swear, somebody planted it.
Do you think I'm stupid?
No, no, no, Mr. Rogelio.
It's medicinal lasagna.
My doctor recommended it.
Your space guest card. Your card, come on.
-Okay...
-Hand me your card.
Don't take away
my galactic points, please.
Too late.
(radio chimes)
Four forty.
We've got a six twenty-six in Theater A.
You've earned it, boy.
No... My galactic points...
No! Oh, no!
(both sigh)
I need this day to be over, Chueco.
I can't...
(muffled shriek)
Chueco!
I'll buy you anything you want, Chueco.
Chueco...
Oh, Chueco, I love you. And I hate you.
What's up, neighbor?
I found him lost in the seats.
I think he recognized me by my smell.
Sir, you do have a very particular smell.
But I don't know you.
(Juan gasps)
Gus, why are you in disguise?
I've been banned for life
for crying too loud.
Here? What moved you so much?
A gum commercial...
-A what commercial?
-A gum commercial.
Okay... Was it moving?
It was touching.
Tell me about it some other day.
Chueco, you had me worried.
What is this animal doing here?
He came to watch a movie.
I meant the ape.
-I'm sorry, Rogelio, sorry.
-Weren't you with your grandpa?
Yes, I was here with my grandpa.
Sorry, but he got a "cataractitis" attack
and he's in the bathroom.
-How come I never met your grandpa?
-I'll tell you later, Gus.
-I know you.
-Yes, he's my friend.
Yes, I have an extensive career in movies.
No, no, it's not that.
Weren't you banned from coming
after you made a huge drama
about a soda commercial?
Gum. Sorry, gum.
-It was very touching.
-Very.
-No, no, no.
-(radio chimes)
Please, back up. Back up in the hall!
No, no. Hey, this is abuse of authority.
Yes, right. You break the rules,
but you're the victims.
-Respect me, I'm famous.
-Yes.
(chattering)
What?
Yes, yes.
(gasps)
Easy, Rogelio, easy! The ape is mine.
Technically no,
he belongs to the production.
What production?
Let me introduce myself. I'm Juan...
Garsenbreider.
I'm the senior achievement...
chief "spader blackvider"...
of marketing for Code S.I.M.I.A.N.
My Marketing and Advertising team and I
thought
we could come to your theater with one
of the main characters of the movie,
to bond with the audience,
take pictures, interact...
But seeing the inhumane treatment
you offer any living creature here,
I'm going to back out on this plan.
No, no, no, please, reconsider...
Sh, sh, sh! "Reconsider" is a verb
that's not in my dictionary.
But, sorry, I don't... I didn't know...
I didn't know we had
a celebrity in the audience.
Two celebrities.
Okay, Gus.
What's his name?
The simian is called...
Chucho... Chucho Ravioli.
He's an Italian celebrity.
Hi, Chucho!
What a nice chimp.
Maybe I can reconsider the decision
and move on
with our marketing project with Chucho.
But I have two conditions. Number one,
you have to remove my friend
from the black list
and give him his space card.
-Done.
-Number two,
award me
the 350 I need to reach Nebula Level.
-Oh, God.
-Don't take advantage.
Okay, I overstepped.
CODE S.I.M.I.A.N.
Amanda, what's up?
I'm a fraud.
I've been lying all this time.
Why?
I'm not an art broker
and I don't have a podcast.
I actually work
as a housekeeper for a family.
I have something to confess, too.
I'm not a Scandinavian Medieval Art
professor at the university.
I'm a P.E. teacher at a primary school.
Why didn't you tell me?
What's wrong with that?
-We're both liars.
-We're both liars.
It was good,
but monkeys talking in space
seemed kind of fake.
Really? You literally have
a talking monkey at home.
Too bad Chueco didn't finish the movie,
he would have loved it.
(Rogelio clears throat)
Ladies and gentlemen,
before you leave,
we have a little surprise for you.
-My documentary was great.
-Great, son.
-And Chueco?
-Um...
You're about to find out.
ROGELIO: I'd like to introduce
one of the main characters
from the movie we just watched.
Let me present...
Chucho!
(all applauding)
(epic music playing)
-That furry creature lives in my house.
-Really?
Chucho, Chucho, Chucho, Chucho, Chucho!
♪ Chueco ♪
(theme music playing)
Translated by: Ianina Antonetti