Bullet in the Face (2012–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Meet Gunter Vogler - full transcript
The gangland truce in Brüteville City between Tannhauser and Racken is short lived as Tannhauser wants Gunter to hit a Jewish run jewelry store solely because they are paying Racken protection money as their unofficial security. In the process, Tannhauser wants Gunter to kill Martine as he knows she is being unfaithful to him, unaware that she is being unfaithful with Gunter, and that she is pregnant. The robbery does not go according to plan, with Gunter shot in the face, and captured by the police. Following Gunter's reconstructive surgery and recuperation, Police Commissioner Eva Braden believes she is able to convince Gunter to work for them in nabbing Tannhauser, as she shows him that it was not the police but Martine who shot him. If he does work for the police, he will be partnered with Lt. Karl Hagerman, whose previous partner Gunter killed in the robbery, and whose face was transplanted onto Gunter's destroyed one. But Gunter may still prove to be unwilling to work for the enemy. Conversely, both Tannhauser and Racken's men may want to kill Gunter, unaware that it is him, solely because he is a police detective.
(Heart beating)
(Gunshot, Gunter screams)
(Sighing)
(French accent):
Same bad dream?
Yeah.
You see the shooter's face?
Uh-uh.
Here...
Let Mama relax you.
(German accent):
Stop calling yourself "Mama".
I don't want to be
in bed with my mother.
Relax, baby.
And quit calling me baby.
I don't want to be a baby
in bed with my mother.
I'm adult in size.
Mm-hmm.
(Chuckles)
(Chuckling)
(Moaning)
(Slurping)
(Gunshot, Gunter screams)
(Moaning)
(Whistles)
I was home last night,
all night, alone.
(Snickering)
- Shhh!
- Oh.
I'm not going to let you
call me horrible names.
No, I won't let you text-message
me those same horrible names.
Au revoir.
Tannhauser, he knows
you're cheating, hmm?
But he doesn't know with who.
He doesn't know I'm who.
(Chuckling)
- He'll find out soon.
- Hmm...
I'm pregnant.
How could that happen?
When you put
your penis inside me,
moved it in and out
and ejaculated spermatozoa,
that makes babies.
You told me you were safe,
that your vagina was
as barren as Somalia!
You cannot have
this baby. You--
(Tweezers clattering)
Martine, if you have this baby,
I will shove it
back up your womb!
(Siren wailing in distance)
(Cars honking)
(Man): Good morning,
Bruteville! The truce between
gang leaders Tannhauser
and Racken continues.
The city is finally at peace.
(Cooing, gunshot)
You're both late, hmm?
You look so healthy.
You must be getting more
protein in your diet, hmm?
(Cell): ♪ Hello, baby
Pick up the phone ♪
What's the job, Lustig?
Oh, this store
is run by Jews too cheap
to hire a security guard.
They pay protection
money to Racken,
so Tannhauser wants
to hit the store.
Ja, ja?
Send a message.
That he wants to start
a war. It's about time.
I have an itch
on my trigger finger.
(Martine): Tannhauser wishes
to speak with you.
Good morning, Herr Tannhauser!
Why do you call me Herr?
Call me Johann.
'Tis my name. You know me.
(♪ Man singing opera ♪)
Gunter, you are my rock star.
You know this?
You kill everything
I ask you to kill.
You've even killed
extra things,
like dogs and cats
along the way,
people just crossing the road.
You killed everyone
on that boat.
You drowned them from
the inside. It was beautiful.
You killed that guy at
his wedding with piano wire
while he was playing piano.
I love you for this stuff.
Today, you've got
a simple thing.
Simple thing.
It's a jewellery robbery.
While you're doing it,
kill Martine, will you?
Any particular reason?
Yeah, she's been unfaithful.
Just kill her.
Why not kill her yourself?
I don't wanna kill her.
You kill her.
You love killing things!
You kill everything you see.
You even tried to kill me once.
You tried to kill yourself once!
Come on, you crazy bastard!
Kill her! Do it!
You'd love it.
Wrap yourself in jewels
and kill her.
You're acting like a snail on
a wet Friday. What's going on?
Nothing, sir.
You made me what I am today...
insane.
Yes, I did, didn't I?
All right, bye-bye.
(Cell beeps)
Good morning!
I am Gunter Vogler,
and you are about to be robbed
by a master criminal.
Sadly, you will not be able
to tell your friends
and family about it
because I will be killing
most of you today.
It is just my nature.
Is that Mossad?
Oy...
(Groaning)
(Groaning)
(Groaning)
(Groaning)
(Siren wailing)
Auf wiedersehen!
(Tires squealing)
Lock and load!
- Kill Martine.
- I'm pregnant.
- (Echoing): Kill Martine...
- I'm pregnant...
Just kill her.
Drop your gun...
or my face is the last thing
you will ever see.
(Bullet shell clinking)
(Gunshot)
I say we kill the bastard.
Even the most vicious animal
on the planet, a wolf,
has more compassion
than this monster.
The most vicious animal on the
planet is not a wolf, Hagerman.
It's a hippopotamus.
And Gunter Vogler
is my secret weapon.
I will finally bring
Johann Tannhauser to justice.
It won't work.
It's like trying to find a word
that rhymes with "vinegar".
"Miniature".
What the hell is this?
Who must I kill
to get out of here?
Oh, Mr. Vogler,
show a little gratitude.
A team of surgeons worked
very hard to save your life.
Why is my face so sore?
It feels like my anus after
consuming too much paprika.
Your face was destroyed.
You've been given a
full facial transplant.
What are you
talking about, bitch?
Show respect, mongrel.
You're talking to
the police commissioner.
And whose voice is that?
Whoever it was sounds
unappealing to women.
(Snickers)
Lt. Hagerman.
- You killed my partner.
- Oh!
And all my partners before him.
We, better get a new one...
(Chuckles)
...or I might kill you
just to keep my quota up.
(Gunter laughing)
Mr. Vogler,
you will be the next one killed
unless you agree to work
for law enforcement.
(Whispering):
Careful.
Ah!
(Gasps)
What?
(Screaming)
Who's face am I looking at?
(EKG monitor beeping rapidly)
The face of my partner,
the man you murdered,
my best friend.
You don't deserve
to have his face!
It makes me want
to vomit a baked ham.
(Screaming)
No, don't shoot!
(Laughing)
He can't!
He cannot shoot
his best friend!
Unlike me, who shot
all my friends,
including one on his birthday.
Go ahead,
Mr. Policeman. Shoot!
Shoot! Take your revenge!
(Laughing)
♪ Wooly bully ♪
♪ I feel it ♪
♪ Oh woolly bully
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪
(Crying)
♪ Wooly bully Ah ah ♪
(Sobbing)
What is that?
A little yellow gun!
What does it
shoot? Lemonade?
No, electrical current.
And you're going to
shoot me with that?
- Yes.
- Shit!
(Electricity buzzing,
Screaming)
(Groaning)
(Sighing)
(Breathing unevenly)
(Siren wailing)
Ah!
Lady Commissioner.
Nice outfit.
Very authority-figure
flattering.
Mr. Vogler...
what do you recall about
being shot in the face?
That it sucked!
I shot the cop
who I am now having
too much face time with...
and a bad hair day.
(Gunter chuckling,
Hagerman sniffs)
He managed to
squeeze off a shot.
But I pulled the trigger first!
That fellow did not shoot me!
No...
(Bullet shells clinking)
That fello did not.
What the hell is this?
A special edition video?
This is a fake.
Why would that woman shoot me?
We had dinner
reservations later!
I don't know,
but why not find out,
Gunter Vogler?
One woman kills you,
another one resurrects you.
I've given you a new identity
and access to law-
enforcement resources
to seek revenge on
those who betrayed you.
(Gunshot)
What do you say?
What do I say?
Give me a badge.
Ah, Martine.
Naughty, naughty girl.
(Chuckling)
Look who it is!
Welcome back.
We're all very happy that
you survived the bullet wound.
Oh! Not as happy as I am.
You'll be reunited with your
old partner, Lt. Hagerman...
Oh! Pow!
Hee hee hee!
...who is delighted
to see you, yes?
I've warned everyone that you're
not exactly your same, old self.
- Oh!
- Had a little memory loss.
And interestingly,
now you speak
with a German accent.
Right!
(Clearing throat)
I can buy that.
Wunderbar!
(Gunter chuckling)
In the meantime,
may I have a gun, hmm?
- Yes.
- Hmm!
A gun.
Ah. Hmm!
(Grunts)
(Grunts)
Whoo!
Mother!
Just give him a moment.
Take a little getting used to.
Hey, hey, hey!
He had a hard time.
(Laughing)
A little patience.
Not to worry.
What the--
- What a sense of
humour you have now!
I'm a cop!
(Laughing)
(Crying)
Partner!
(Laughing)
(♪ House ♪)
Come on, baby.
Come on, come on, baby.
Though I walk through the
valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil.
Why are you praying, Hagerman?
Why? I'm sitting
next to the man
who killed my partner,
and he's got his face.
I feel like
God is punishing me.
Ah, Satan is just
showing you a good time.
There's no reason
for us to be here.
There's a reason.
Lustig.
He was our getaway
driver that got away.
Tannhauser's whereabouts are
a secret, but Lustig knows them.
Now!
(Lustig laughing)
Stay here.
What am I supposed to do?
Enjoy yourself.
Your penis has other uses
besides urination
and embarrassment.
(Chuckling)
(Women giggling)
(Door opening)
- Out!
- (Women): Aaah!
(Whimpering)
(Screaming)
Would you like a dance?
No, uh...
just browsing.
No!
Pain!
(Battle cry)
(Whimpering, groaning)
Aaah!
Come.
Follow me.
You cannot do this!
I can do whatever I want.
I am a cop with massive issues!
You have the voice
of Gunter Vogler.
That's because
I am Gunter Vogler!
Nei. Gunter is dead.
Oh!
You see?
(Crying)
You're crying?
What's the matter?
Don't you like me?
(Sobbing)
Killing me only
made him stronger.
I can possess other people now.
(Whimpering)
Here I am in the body
of a policeman...
(Laughing hysterically)
...a policeman who wants
to know the location
of Tannhauser's hideout.
Oh! If I tell
you that, he'll kill me.
If you don't, I will kill you.
These are not good choices.
Mm-hmm.
Wait! Wait! You possess
Tannhauser, make him tell you.
Hmm? Huh? Huh?
(Laughing)
(Groaning)
(Crying)
That's my wife and kids.
My daughter's about
the same age as you.
Would you like me
to get her a job here?
(Sobbing)
Martine shot me in the face.
Uh, yeah.
Why?
Tannhauser told her to!
She saved her life
by killing you,
also her unborn child.
The baby is Tannhauser's.
Lies!
The baby is mine!
We even discussed
naming it "Mine"!
(Thunder)
Come on, baby. Got ya!
Bitch, give it to me. Aaah!
Ah! Listen! Listen!
Tannhauser blames the robbery
not working on me.
He wants me dead,
but I have information
that would help Racken's side of
the war which is coming.
(Both laughing)
What information?
Tell me.
Ah, well, there is someone
on Tannhauser's side
who has infiltrated
Racken's organization.
Who?
(Door opening)
Ah, Martine!
Hmm!
You're lucky the bullet
only grazed your temple.
Facial transplants are
very expensive, Mr. Vogler.
And I chose the face
that you're wearing now
to keep a good cop alive.
The only other face available
was that of a trapeze artist
who bounced off his net
and landed on a station wagon.
- Where's Hagerman?
- Took a leave of absence.
You traumatized him with that
little strip-club trip you took.
(Chuckling)
Your soul is
poisoned, Mr. Vogler.
Why not seek redemption?
Because I'm not a coupon.
(Chuckling)
You know, the man that you
murdered I was in love with.
(Grunts)
The man whose face
you now bear.
Hurt me very deeply.
Why, did he not use lubricant?
(Snickering)
We never consummated
the relationship.
I never could quite
figure out why.
Probably because he had taste.
That's it, isn't it?
You wanted me to be
your lover as well as a cop.
(Chuckling)
I am not some finger puppet
and I will not live my life
with some other face
I do not recognize.
I am not Mickey Rourke!
How was that?
Mediocre.
Where did you learn to kiss?
A slaughterhouse?
(Blows)
Hmm...
Wait.
I felt something.
Mm-hmm?
This other man inside me
is responding to you.
(Giggling)
Ah!
(Both moaning)
(Snickering)
Shit!
You know, life is funny.
I only realized Martine
was my soul mate
after she betrayed me.
You will never
see this face again.
(Muffled):
Gunter. Gunter!
Gunter!
♪ Hello, baby
Pick up the phone ♪
Who is this?
Who has Gunter's phone?
Gunter does.
I am a very good boyfriend.
Even if you shoot me,
I still call.
This is not possible!
Who are you talking to?
Who are you talking to?
No one talking to you!
No lovers!
I told you this!
- I--
- Who is this?
Identify yourself!
Who are you?
(Grunts)
(Cell beeps)
Who was it?
My mother. Ah!
- I'm telling the truth.
- I don't like her.
(Scoffing)
- You listen.
- No, you listen!
Don't do that!
It is a leprechaun!
Blessed are the leprechauns,
for they control
the power and the glory.
They control the lightness
and the darkness.
They control the rainbow!
(♪ Bagpipes playing
Amazing Grace ♪)
(♪ Muffled bagpipes ♪)
(Scoffing)
I think it's OK.
(Boat horn blaring)
(Intercom buzzing)
(Clearing throat)
Yeah.
(Woman): Mr. Racken,
a policeman is here.
Policeman?
Send him in.
He must have a death wish.
(Door buzzing)
Boy, oh, boy!
You got a lot of
balls coming here.
Neither my testicles nor
prostate are greatly enlarged.
(Racken laughing)
A sense of humour.
So, what can I do for you
besides take your life?
You have a turncoat
in your organization.
I'm willing to I.D.
the traitor for a price.
Bullshit! I've known everyone
in my organization for years.
Any one of these guys
would take a bullet for me.
So you say,
but, uh, I see the
face of the traitor
in this room right now.
Is that a fact?
(Intercom buzzing)
- What?
- Mr. Racken, an emergency call.
Yeah. What?
(Gunshots)
Is that gunfire?
(Dial tone)
Son of a bitch.
My drug-smuggling
operation was just raided
and nobody knows the location
of that shipyard, nobody.
So you tell me who
the double-crosser is
or I'll ow your
goddamn head off.
Go ahead, shoot me.
But you'll never figure out
where Judas sits during lunch.
(Chuckling)
Is it him?
I don't like the way
he's looking at me.
His eyes keep twitching.
Sir, I just had eye surgery.
I need drops, that's all.
I've always been loyal to you.
You know, he has.
He's been loyal to me.
(Bullet shells clinking)
It wasn't him.
Boss, I would never betray you,
and I've had lots of chances.
That's true.
He's had lots of chances.
(Men groaning, thudding)
Send in a 2nd team!
"Yous" guys,
take this guy down the river
and return him to
sender using a bullet.
Don't forget.
Take a picture for my personal
scrapbook of dead cops.
It's important to me, all right?
- Yes, boss.
- All right.
Get him out
of here. Go.
Today!
Get on your knees, copper.
(Bird chirping)
(Click)
(Gunshots, groaning)
Thought you were on leave!
I was.
But as long as you wear
my partner's face,
my conscience demands
I protect you.
I will not live my life
in this shell.
I am not some frickin' lobster.
The shell you inhabit
was not for a crustacean.
It belonged to
a good and decent man,
a man I loved
more than a brother.
This city could use
a good bad man right now.
Now that Tannhauser has
seized Racken's heroin supply,
this war will only get uglier.
Just the way...
I like it.
(Laughing evilly)
God grant me serenity.
(Intercom buzzing)
Yeah.
Your wife is here.
Oh, send her in.
You are glowing, dear.
So, what did the doctor say?
(American accent): That we
have a very healthy bambino
on the way.
Of course we do.
(Purring)
(Chuckling)
(Gunter) I see the face
of the traitor
in this room right now.
(Gunshot, Gunter screams)
(Sighing)
(French accent):
Same bad dream?
Yeah.
You see the shooter's face?
Uh-uh.
Here...
Let Mama relax you.
(German accent):
Stop calling yourself "Mama".
I don't want to be
in bed with my mother.
Relax, baby.
And quit calling me baby.
I don't want to be a baby
in bed with my mother.
I'm adult in size.
Mm-hmm.
(Chuckles)
(Chuckling)
(Moaning)
(Slurping)
(Gunshot, Gunter screams)
(Moaning)
(Whistles)
I was home last night,
all night, alone.
(Snickering)
- Shhh!
- Oh.
I'm not going to let you
call me horrible names.
No, I won't let you text-message
me those same horrible names.
Au revoir.
Tannhauser, he knows
you're cheating, hmm?
But he doesn't know with who.
He doesn't know I'm who.
(Chuckling)
- He'll find out soon.
- Hmm...
I'm pregnant.
How could that happen?
When you put
your penis inside me,
moved it in and out
and ejaculated spermatozoa,
that makes babies.
You told me you were safe,
that your vagina was
as barren as Somalia!
You cannot have
this baby. You--
(Tweezers clattering)
Martine, if you have this baby,
I will shove it
back up your womb!
(Siren wailing in distance)
(Cars honking)
(Man): Good morning,
Bruteville! The truce between
gang leaders Tannhauser
and Racken continues.
The city is finally at peace.
(Cooing, gunshot)
You're both late, hmm?
You look so healthy.
You must be getting more
protein in your diet, hmm?
(Cell): ♪ Hello, baby
Pick up the phone ♪
What's the job, Lustig?
Oh, this store
is run by Jews too cheap
to hire a security guard.
They pay protection
money to Racken,
so Tannhauser wants
to hit the store.
Ja, ja?
Send a message.
That he wants to start
a war. It's about time.
I have an itch
on my trigger finger.
(Martine): Tannhauser wishes
to speak with you.
Good morning, Herr Tannhauser!
Why do you call me Herr?
Call me Johann.
'Tis my name. You know me.
(♪ Man singing opera ♪)
Gunter, you are my rock star.
You know this?
You kill everything
I ask you to kill.
You've even killed
extra things,
like dogs and cats
along the way,
people just crossing the road.
You killed everyone
on that boat.
You drowned them from
the inside. It was beautiful.
You killed that guy at
his wedding with piano wire
while he was playing piano.
I love you for this stuff.
Today, you've got
a simple thing.
Simple thing.
It's a jewellery robbery.
While you're doing it,
kill Martine, will you?
Any particular reason?
Yeah, she's been unfaithful.
Just kill her.
Why not kill her yourself?
I don't wanna kill her.
You kill her.
You love killing things!
You kill everything you see.
You even tried to kill me once.
You tried to kill yourself once!
Come on, you crazy bastard!
Kill her! Do it!
You'd love it.
Wrap yourself in jewels
and kill her.
You're acting like a snail on
a wet Friday. What's going on?
Nothing, sir.
You made me what I am today...
insane.
Yes, I did, didn't I?
All right, bye-bye.
(Cell beeps)
Good morning!
I am Gunter Vogler,
and you are about to be robbed
by a master criminal.
Sadly, you will not be able
to tell your friends
and family about it
because I will be killing
most of you today.
It is just my nature.
Is that Mossad?
Oy...
(Groaning)
(Groaning)
(Groaning)
(Groaning)
(Siren wailing)
Auf wiedersehen!
(Tires squealing)
Lock and load!
- Kill Martine.
- I'm pregnant.
- (Echoing): Kill Martine...
- I'm pregnant...
Just kill her.
Drop your gun...
or my face is the last thing
you will ever see.
(Bullet shell clinking)
(Gunshot)
I say we kill the bastard.
Even the most vicious animal
on the planet, a wolf,
has more compassion
than this monster.
The most vicious animal on the
planet is not a wolf, Hagerman.
It's a hippopotamus.
And Gunter Vogler
is my secret weapon.
I will finally bring
Johann Tannhauser to justice.
It won't work.
It's like trying to find a word
that rhymes with "vinegar".
"Miniature".
What the hell is this?
Who must I kill
to get out of here?
Oh, Mr. Vogler,
show a little gratitude.
A team of surgeons worked
very hard to save your life.
Why is my face so sore?
It feels like my anus after
consuming too much paprika.
Your face was destroyed.
You've been given a
full facial transplant.
What are you
talking about, bitch?
Show respect, mongrel.
You're talking to
the police commissioner.
And whose voice is that?
Whoever it was sounds
unappealing to women.
(Snickers)
Lt. Hagerman.
- You killed my partner.
- Oh!
And all my partners before him.
We, better get a new one...
(Chuckles)
...or I might kill you
just to keep my quota up.
(Gunter laughing)
Mr. Vogler,
you will be the next one killed
unless you agree to work
for law enforcement.
(Whispering):
Careful.
Ah!
(Gasps)
What?
(Screaming)
Who's face am I looking at?
(EKG monitor beeping rapidly)
The face of my partner,
the man you murdered,
my best friend.
You don't deserve
to have his face!
It makes me want
to vomit a baked ham.
(Screaming)
No, don't shoot!
(Laughing)
He can't!
He cannot shoot
his best friend!
Unlike me, who shot
all my friends,
including one on his birthday.
Go ahead,
Mr. Policeman. Shoot!
Shoot! Take your revenge!
(Laughing)
♪ Wooly bully ♪
♪ I feel it ♪
♪ Oh woolly bully
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪
(Crying)
♪ Wooly bully Ah ah ♪
(Sobbing)
What is that?
A little yellow gun!
What does it
shoot? Lemonade?
No, electrical current.
And you're going to
shoot me with that?
- Yes.
- Shit!
(Electricity buzzing,
Screaming)
(Groaning)
(Sighing)
(Breathing unevenly)
(Siren wailing)
Ah!
Lady Commissioner.
Nice outfit.
Very authority-figure
flattering.
Mr. Vogler...
what do you recall about
being shot in the face?
That it sucked!
I shot the cop
who I am now having
too much face time with...
and a bad hair day.
(Gunter chuckling,
Hagerman sniffs)
He managed to
squeeze off a shot.
But I pulled the trigger first!
That fellow did not shoot me!
No...
(Bullet shells clinking)
That fello did not.
What the hell is this?
A special edition video?
This is a fake.
Why would that woman shoot me?
We had dinner
reservations later!
I don't know,
but why not find out,
Gunter Vogler?
One woman kills you,
another one resurrects you.
I've given you a new identity
and access to law-
enforcement resources
to seek revenge on
those who betrayed you.
(Gunshot)
What do you say?
What do I say?
Give me a badge.
Ah, Martine.
Naughty, naughty girl.
(Chuckling)
Look who it is!
Welcome back.
We're all very happy that
you survived the bullet wound.
Oh! Not as happy as I am.
You'll be reunited with your
old partner, Lt. Hagerman...
Oh! Pow!
Hee hee hee!
...who is delighted
to see you, yes?
I've warned everyone that you're
not exactly your same, old self.
- Oh!
- Had a little memory loss.
And interestingly,
now you speak
with a German accent.
Right!
(Clearing throat)
I can buy that.
Wunderbar!
(Gunter chuckling)
In the meantime,
may I have a gun, hmm?
- Yes.
- Hmm!
A gun.
Ah. Hmm!
(Grunts)
(Grunts)
Whoo!
Mother!
Just give him a moment.
Take a little getting used to.
Hey, hey, hey!
He had a hard time.
(Laughing)
A little patience.
Not to worry.
What the--
- What a sense of
humour you have now!
I'm a cop!
(Laughing)
(Crying)
Partner!
(Laughing)
(♪ House ♪)
Come on, baby.
Come on, come on, baby.
Though I walk through the
valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil.
Why are you praying, Hagerman?
Why? I'm sitting
next to the man
who killed my partner,
and he's got his face.
I feel like
God is punishing me.
Ah, Satan is just
showing you a good time.
There's no reason
for us to be here.
There's a reason.
Lustig.
He was our getaway
driver that got away.
Tannhauser's whereabouts are
a secret, but Lustig knows them.
Now!
(Lustig laughing)
Stay here.
What am I supposed to do?
Enjoy yourself.
Your penis has other uses
besides urination
and embarrassment.
(Chuckling)
(Women giggling)
(Door opening)
- Out!
- (Women): Aaah!
(Whimpering)
(Screaming)
Would you like a dance?
No, uh...
just browsing.
No!
Pain!
(Battle cry)
(Whimpering, groaning)
Aaah!
Come.
Follow me.
You cannot do this!
I can do whatever I want.
I am a cop with massive issues!
You have the voice
of Gunter Vogler.
That's because
I am Gunter Vogler!
Nei. Gunter is dead.
Oh!
You see?
(Crying)
You're crying?
What's the matter?
Don't you like me?
(Sobbing)
Killing me only
made him stronger.
I can possess other people now.
(Whimpering)
Here I am in the body
of a policeman...
(Laughing hysterically)
...a policeman who wants
to know the location
of Tannhauser's hideout.
Oh! If I tell
you that, he'll kill me.
If you don't, I will kill you.
These are not good choices.
Mm-hmm.
Wait! Wait! You possess
Tannhauser, make him tell you.
Hmm? Huh? Huh?
(Laughing)
(Groaning)
(Crying)
That's my wife and kids.
My daughter's about
the same age as you.
Would you like me
to get her a job here?
(Sobbing)
Martine shot me in the face.
Uh, yeah.
Why?
Tannhauser told her to!
She saved her life
by killing you,
also her unborn child.
The baby is Tannhauser's.
Lies!
The baby is mine!
We even discussed
naming it "Mine"!
(Thunder)
Come on, baby. Got ya!
Bitch, give it to me. Aaah!
Ah! Listen! Listen!
Tannhauser blames the robbery
not working on me.
He wants me dead,
but I have information
that would help Racken's side of
the war which is coming.
(Both laughing)
What information?
Tell me.
Ah, well, there is someone
on Tannhauser's side
who has infiltrated
Racken's organization.
Who?
(Door opening)
Ah, Martine!
Hmm!
You're lucky the bullet
only grazed your temple.
Facial transplants are
very expensive, Mr. Vogler.
And I chose the face
that you're wearing now
to keep a good cop alive.
The only other face available
was that of a trapeze artist
who bounced off his net
and landed on a station wagon.
- Where's Hagerman?
- Took a leave of absence.
You traumatized him with that
little strip-club trip you took.
(Chuckling)
Your soul is
poisoned, Mr. Vogler.
Why not seek redemption?
Because I'm not a coupon.
(Chuckling)
You know, the man that you
murdered I was in love with.
(Grunts)
The man whose face
you now bear.
Hurt me very deeply.
Why, did he not use lubricant?
(Snickering)
We never consummated
the relationship.
I never could quite
figure out why.
Probably because he had taste.
That's it, isn't it?
You wanted me to be
your lover as well as a cop.
(Chuckling)
I am not some finger puppet
and I will not live my life
with some other face
I do not recognize.
I am not Mickey Rourke!
How was that?
Mediocre.
Where did you learn to kiss?
A slaughterhouse?
(Blows)
Hmm...
Wait.
I felt something.
Mm-hmm?
This other man inside me
is responding to you.
(Giggling)
Ah!
(Both moaning)
(Snickering)
Shit!
You know, life is funny.
I only realized Martine
was my soul mate
after she betrayed me.
You will never
see this face again.
(Muffled):
Gunter. Gunter!
Gunter!
♪ Hello, baby
Pick up the phone ♪
Who is this?
Who has Gunter's phone?
Gunter does.
I am a very good boyfriend.
Even if you shoot me,
I still call.
This is not possible!
Who are you talking to?
Who are you talking to?
No one talking to you!
No lovers!
I told you this!
- I--
- Who is this?
Identify yourself!
Who are you?
(Grunts)
(Cell beeps)
Who was it?
My mother. Ah!
- I'm telling the truth.
- I don't like her.
(Scoffing)
- You listen.
- No, you listen!
Don't do that!
It is a leprechaun!
Blessed are the leprechauns,
for they control
the power and the glory.
They control the lightness
and the darkness.
They control the rainbow!
(♪ Bagpipes playing
Amazing Grace ♪)
(♪ Muffled bagpipes ♪)
(Scoffing)
I think it's OK.
(Boat horn blaring)
(Intercom buzzing)
(Clearing throat)
Yeah.
(Woman): Mr. Racken,
a policeman is here.
Policeman?
Send him in.
He must have a death wish.
(Door buzzing)
Boy, oh, boy!
You got a lot of
balls coming here.
Neither my testicles nor
prostate are greatly enlarged.
(Racken laughing)
A sense of humour.
So, what can I do for you
besides take your life?
You have a turncoat
in your organization.
I'm willing to I.D.
the traitor for a price.
Bullshit! I've known everyone
in my organization for years.
Any one of these guys
would take a bullet for me.
So you say,
but, uh, I see the
face of the traitor
in this room right now.
Is that a fact?
(Intercom buzzing)
- What?
- Mr. Racken, an emergency call.
Yeah. What?
(Gunshots)
Is that gunfire?
(Dial tone)
Son of a bitch.
My drug-smuggling
operation was just raided
and nobody knows the location
of that shipyard, nobody.
So you tell me who
the double-crosser is
or I'll ow your
goddamn head off.
Go ahead, shoot me.
But you'll never figure out
where Judas sits during lunch.
(Chuckling)
Is it him?
I don't like the way
he's looking at me.
His eyes keep twitching.
Sir, I just had eye surgery.
I need drops, that's all.
I've always been loyal to you.
You know, he has.
He's been loyal to me.
(Bullet shells clinking)
It wasn't him.
Boss, I would never betray you,
and I've had lots of chances.
That's true.
He's had lots of chances.
(Men groaning, thudding)
Send in a 2nd team!
"Yous" guys,
take this guy down the river
and return him to
sender using a bullet.
Don't forget.
Take a picture for my personal
scrapbook of dead cops.
It's important to me, all right?
- Yes, boss.
- All right.
Get him out
of here. Go.
Today!
Get on your knees, copper.
(Bird chirping)
(Click)
(Gunshots, groaning)
Thought you were on leave!
I was.
But as long as you wear
my partner's face,
my conscience demands
I protect you.
I will not live my life
in this shell.
I am not some frickin' lobster.
The shell you inhabit
was not for a crustacean.
It belonged to
a good and decent man,
a man I loved
more than a brother.
This city could use
a good bad man right now.
Now that Tannhauser has
seized Racken's heroin supply,
this war will only get uglier.
Just the way...
I like it.
(Laughing evilly)
God grant me serenity.
(Intercom buzzing)
Yeah.
Your wife is here.
Oh, send her in.
You are glowing, dear.
So, what did the doctor say?
(American accent): That we
have a very healthy bambino
on the way.
Of course we do.
(Purring)
(Chuckling)
(Gunter) I see the face
of the traitor
in this room right now.