Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1996–2003): Season 7, Episode 6 - Him - full transcript

Previously on
Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Spike, this is the Hellmouth.

You have a soul?
Fine. Show me.

- Get out of this basement.
- I don't have anywhere else to go.

There will always be
vengeance demons.

But now you, Anya,
You're out.

Whatever's between us,
it doesn't matter.

You shouldn't be
alone in this.

Yes, I should.

You're gonna live
in the small room there.

Looks like a closet, but it's a room now.
You're not gonna touch my food.



I take the first shower, and if I use up all
the hot water, that's your tough noogies.

And I hate this plan. Are you keepin'
up, or do you need some kind...

of English to constant-pain-in-my-ass
translation?

Invitation? Is there something
more emphatic than "hate"?

Can I "revile" the plan?

Fine. I invite you in,
nimrod.

Don't want
your sodding food anyway.

I don't understand when his problems became
your problems... more specifically, mine.

The school basement is making him crazy.
We can't just leave him there.

Why not? Crazy Basement Guy is
better than Stalking Buffy Guy.

It's true.
You guys aren't...

You're not starting up again with the
whole... No. A thousand gallons of "No."

It's just, things are different now.
He has a soul.

I'm sure that'll be a real comfort
when he soulfully attacks you again.



Yeah. What does that mean, exactly,
that Spike is all soul-having?

I don't know.

But he's been through a lot, okay?
And nobody is attacking... Buffy?

Sorry.

No, it's me. I just... I'll go.
This can't work.

It will. It already is, okay? You know, you've
been out of the basement for half an hour,

and you've already stopped talking
to invisible people. Bollocks.

Okay, so there was that one
episode in the car, but...

No. Bollocks to the whole thing. I don't
need your mollycoddling. It's not coddling.

Now go to your closet.

- So, what is it?
- What's what?

Last night, you said you weren't
helping Spike out of pity.

What is it? It's
a good question.

Is sitting there drinking soda
some kind of a Zen non-answer?

No. I just...

I don't know
what I'm feeling. I...

I think I can't stand him,
but then sometimes...

You love him?
No.

I...
I feel for him.

Feel what, exactly? Dawn...

No, um, I'm just trying
to understand.

I mean, none of it
makes sense.

First you say Spike disgusts you, but
secretly you two are doin' it like bunnies.

And then Spike says he'd die for
you, but he tries to rape you.

For the record, Spike knew how wrong
it was, and that's why he went away.

But to get a soul, like that
would make him a better man?

Xander had a soul when he
stood Anya up at the altar.

And now he says
he still wants her?

I just don't think it's the school
basement that's making people crazy.

Oh, I should really get back.
You coming with?

I just don't see
why people bother.

I mean, you put all this energy into
chasing and having and brooding, and...

I just don't understand these relationships
where you all do insane things.

Bye, rant-girl. Well, you could,
like, paint a beautiful mural...

on every ugly wall
in the world,

and then you could paint a beautiful
mural on every ugly mural in the wor...

♪

♪

Maybe I'm not even the right
Anyanka. Ever think about that?

I mean,
tons of Anyankas out there.

Maybe one of them
pissed off this, uh...

What did you say his name was?
D'Hoffryneffer?

Good thing I stopped by
and heard screaming.

So, I guess D'Hoffryn decided
to take you out after all?

Yeah.
He's, uh,

not head of vengeance
for nothing.

Well, thank you for the
generous life-saving. Now,

please go away.

Look, I don't need
anyone's help.

Or, okay,
clearly I do,

but I don't want to need
anyone's help, so...

stop helping.

I get it.

After last week you feel you need
to be all renegade and broody.

Taking yourself
out of the loop...

I need to figure out who I am.
Another, something bad is happening.

I don't want my friends out
there alone right now, okay?

Well, I... I guess you
guys could use my help.

Willow's not very good with the practical
strategizing... except when she's evil.

And Dawn, she's not
really good for anything.

♪ When I think of you ♪

♪ I think ♪

♪ I'm just a fool ♪

♪ With handsome drink ♪

♪ It never fails ♪

♪ That I can't sleep
Dreamin' of you ♪

You guys, I've been thinking about
it, and I think I can still cheer.

I mean, I could use a chair, or we
all could, like the Laker Girls.

Oh, honey, you need to
concentrate on getting better.

Don't worry. We'll find
a replacement for you tomorrow.

I just feel like
I let you down.

Hey, R.J.

Oh. Dawn.

Hey, Summers.

Um, so,
I-I was wondering,

you had Mr. Gurin for English
back at your old school, right?

We all did.

I have him this year.

- What a drag.
- I actually kinda liked him.

Right. Right. Uh, no, no.
I like him. It's just,

you know, I-I meant "drag"
in a good, fun way.

So, are the tryouts tomorrow? You gonna make
the new girls jump up and down a lot, right?1.

God, gross.

A vending machine
fell on Cheryl,

and all you can think about
is new cheerleaders?

Hey, um,
so, you know,

I heard someone saying
yesterday that...

we're gonna go all the way to
the championships this year...

in football.

We actually have a good shot,
considering we're a new team.

Yeah, if you can get us past Highland, we got
a good shot. Oh, like you could do better?

- We'll see.
- You think coach would start you at quarterback over me?

I'm just saying. The quarterback is the
most important member of the team.

He is like the rudder
that guides the ship.

Right. Could I give you
a hand with that?

- Would you really?
- Oh, it's okay. She can do it herself.

Hey, we're all
on the same team, right?

Yeah.
You're all on the team.

We'll talk later, guys.
That's cool.

♪ Well, if you took to me ♪

♪ Like a gull
takes to the wind ♪

♪ Well, I'd have jumped
from my trees ♪

♪ And I'd have danced like the king
of the eyesores ♪ Go, Razorbacks!

♪ And the rest of our lives ♪

Okay. Awesome. Thank you.

Up next we have...

Dawn Summers.

Nice outfit.

Razorbacks! Razorbacks!
We're gonna play.

We've got a secret weapon,
and his name is R.J.!

Hear us cheer, hear us yell.
Listen what we say.

Razorbacks! Razorbacks!
Go, R.J.!

Whoa.

Okay. Thank you.
Very spirited.

Come on, Dawnie.
Come out.

Dawn, sweetheart,
it's not that bad.

How would you even know? R.J.'s
never gonna notice me now.

From what you said,
I'm sure he already noticed you.

I mean, with the falling and the...
spirit! Spirit!

He... They said you were spirited,
right? Go away!

Dawn.

Things a lot better,
I see.

I don't think tonight's gonna
be good for videos, Xand.

Right, with the wailing and the crying. Still
better than a cozy evening with Spike.

Shall I order a pizza? Don't
teens in a snit like pizza?

It is not a snit.

I-I finally met him... the guy of
my dreams, okay... and I blew it.

R.J. hates me now.

Dawn, what is that?

Just the end of my life.

Remember when she used to
have a crush on me?

I miss the much cuter
"me" crush.

♪

You shredded my outfit.

I'll buy you a new one.

That's not the point. I don't
want a new cheerleading outfit.

Now, now,
let's not be hasty.

Not the right time.

Dawn, I'm sorry
that you feel so bad.

Okay? But in the morning,
this won't seem so terrible.

You don't even know
this R.J. Not really.

I do know him.
I know his soul.

Really? Dawn, he wasn't even on your
radar yesterday. It's the jacket.

It's true. Something about the big letter on the
chest. Makes girls get all swoony and crushy.

I saw it all the time
in school.

You couldn't pin any old felt
letter to your coat and get play.

Not that I tried.

It isn't a crush.

It's love.
I love R.J.

Again, since yesterday.
Dawn, it's awfully fast.

What, you're telling me I don't feel
what I feel? No, of course not.

I believe that you think it's real.
It seems real to you.

Know what?

Maybe I don't want advice
from the dysfunction queen.

You have no idea
how I feel.

You have no idea
what real love is.

Maybe if you did, you wouldn't
make fun of me this way.

Dawn, I'm not making fun of you.
Just go.

Leave me alone.

Hey, Brooks.
Uh, I just talked to the coach.

Yeah? I told you, man. All those fumbles in
practice... he was gonna come down on you.

I'm starting on Saturday.

Great. Who knew fumblin'
all the time was the key?

It's just time to let someone else have a
turn, man. And you knew this was comin'.

Yeah, sure.

You can't
do this to R.J.

- Oh, hey, it's you.
- Nice cheering the other day.

It isn't fair. He works so hard. What do you
care? I mean, this is how the game is played.

It's dog eat dog. May the best man win.
But nobody's better than R.J.

Yeah, well, that's not really
up to you, is it, hmm?

It all happened
so fast.

I mean, one minute he was
walking, and the next...

he stumbled
and then he fell.

Why would he say you pushed
him down the stairs?

I don't know.
Maybe he was just embarrassed.

It's hard being clumsy, especially when
you're popular and athletic, I bet.

Yeah. Well, to be candid, it wouldn't be the
first time I caught O'Donnell in a lie.

It would be nice if his lies
didn't involve my sister.

Anyway, I'm gonna have to call Coach
Wheeler and, uh, tell him the bad news.

Not a conversation
I really want to have.

At least he's still got R.J.
to take over.

Yeah. Well, I think we have
everything we need for now.

I'm sorry you had to get
involved in this, Dawn.

That's okay. I'm just
really sorry it happened.

Summers! Hey.
Hi.

I heard Wood hauled you into his office.
Uh, well, yeah.

About O'Donnell?
Yes.

That sucks, facin' the
whole inquisition thing.

Yeah. "No one expects the
Spanish Inquisition."

God. It's like I have
a disease or something.

It was really no big deal.
No, it was.

I think it's cool that
you faced him. Wood.

We just talked. He just wanted me
to tell him about the accident.

Yeah.

It sucks when these things just happen...
outta nowhere.

Right,
out of nowhere.

You know, I was thinkin' of headin' out
tonight after practice. You wanna meet up?

Um...

♪ Hold what you've got ♪

♪ While Xenia
twists up the sky ♪

♪ Akron flakes out ♪

♪ Grindcore little fury
♪ ♪ I feel hot tire ♪

♪ Why is it floating ♪ You know, Spike
definitely seems a little more cogent, less...

I'm just sayin'...
Once you get back the soul,

doesn't that mean you start, like, pickin'
up your own wet towels off the floor?

No, but maybe you start to feel
really bad about leaving them there.

At least he's showering, and that's
a refreshing and delightful change.

- Buff.
- I think that's the guy.

- What guy?
- The one who, according to Dawn, is the, quote,

"smartest, funniest,
coolest, hottest and...

"having-the-thickest-boy-eyelashes
boy in school," unquote.

He don't seem so tough.
Check out the fan club.

- Daddy like.
- What's that shirt made of, paint?

- Buff.
- Glad Dawnie isn't here to see her precious boyfriend...

getting all thrusty
with some slutbag hussy...

- Oh.
- Oh. Oh, no! Daddy no...

I wasn't... When I was
lookin' I wasn't... Oh, God.

Right there with ya.

♪ I got an empty case of whippets
No more time on the meter ♪

♪ Daybreak
About-face ♪

So, do you have plans later,

or are you just gonna go down to the
docks, wait for the fleet to come in?

What? Where do I
start with the bad?

First, you told me you
were going to the library.

Second, you do not go out on a date
without informing me first. Third,

Anna Nicole Smith
thinks you look tacky.

Yeah, well, I think I look hot and
so does R.J. Oh, I bet he does.

Maybe I should go have a
little word with him. No!

Don't you dare embarrass me
in front of him.

I don't like this.
This boy has you acting crazy.

It's my life. I'll do what I want to.
I don't think so.

Oh. So, what... suddenly you're Mom now?
No, I'm not.

And I am glad she's not here
to see you like this.

Look, I'm sorry. I just...

You just can't handle it. What?

You've always been the special one... hot
little Buffy with her boyfriends. The Slayer.

And now someone likes me, and you just can't
stand that I'm getting the attention.

That is the farthest thing from true.
No, it's not.

I'm sorry, but I like the way R.J.
makes me feel,

and if you think that makes me a
slut or whatever, I don't care.

Oh, no, no, no. You are not going
back out on that dance floor.

- R.J.?
- I know what you're doing, slut.

I saw you.
I saw you with R.J.

So? We were just dancing. Right.
You think I'm stupid?

You're gonna
back off now.

You know what's sad? A girl who can't
move on when she's been dumped.

He didn't dump me!

Okay. First with the lap dance, now with the
catfight. Hey, wanna get drunk and barf next?

Let go of me!
This isn't finished.

I'll never let you
have him, bitch!

R.J. is mine. I mean it.
Stay away from him!

Well, at least someone agrees you
shouldn't be dating this guy.

How about if you try doing your own
homework for a change, all right?

No more getting these young,
impressionable women to do it for you.

Avoid detention, R.J. Sound good?
Whatever.

Oh, sweet, infectious
enthusiasm.

Whoa, hang on there, slappy.
I'm not done with you yet.

Oh, man. Like, it's not bad enough I got
that guy ridin' my back all the time.

- Now I gotta deal with you too?
- Actually, I'm a bit more formidable than Mr. Wood.

You might come to look fondly
on his back riding.

Yeah, but come on.
Sit.

Hey, I told him I was
sorry about the homework.

Mmm. Not the homework,
Mr. Wizard, the girls...

What you're doing to them,
in specific, my sister.

Hey, I-I didn't do anything to your sister.
And you saw how hot she looked last night.

I think that proved that she...
Ah-ah, no more with the talky.

Look, I know how guys
like you work.

You turn on the charm, you get whatever
you want, no matter who gets in your way.

Okay. Look, it's not like that. I just
get along really well with girls.

Oh, I see how you get along. "Ooh,
look at me. I'm Mr. Quarterback."

"I crush little girls and all their
little feelings. All I have to do is...

"lead a...
team of high school athletes...

"trying their best
to do a good job.

Everyone depending on me... ".

Boy, that is a lot of pressure.
But...

it doesn't mean you get to
disregard other people's feelings.

It's not like I meant
to hurt anyone.

No. I know that.

It's just... you're a leader.
A captain, okay?

People look up to you, and you need
to keep that in mind when you...

I bet you run a lot, huh?

I mean, they work you
pretty hard, don't they?

Yeah. I guess so.

I get that. I do.
I'm there.

Or at least I was there when I was
still in high school... which I was...

just a couple
of years ago, really.

You know, I-I just...
Realized,

I-I'm basically
the same age as you.

I'm not really older
at all actually.

I'm just like you...

but with the sexual experience
and stuff.

I think I hear
what you're sayin'.

Uh, right.
I'm...

I'm really glad that we... we had this talk. So,
uh, I think you better get back to class then.

Okay. Thanks.

♪

♪

Dawn, you wanna
come talk to me?

Ambush.

I wanted to tell you that
I talked to R.J. today.

He's okay.
I think he likes you.

Really? Tell me what
he said about me...

Every word, including intonation
and facial expressions.

Well, he thinks you're... you're
funny and pretty and interesting.

Didn't have a thing
to say against you.

Yes, he did.
I can tell.

Just the tiniest thing.

He might have said that you
came on a little strong.

Oh, my God.

- I'm the pushy queen of Slut Town.
- No, honey, honey. Not at all.

No, no. It's just, you know, lay
back a little. Let him come to you.

I'm just scared that while I'm laying back,
some other girl's gonna come and sweep him up.

But we have inside info. We know
he doesn't like being swept.

He likes to be
the sweeper.

Dawn, you're gonna come out the winner
here... with me looking out for you.

Yeah, I guess so.
Thank you.

So we do know that 6x + y = 16. So
we can solve for "y" in terms of...

Sorry to interrupt. Um, we need to see R.J.
Brooks down in the guidance office.

There's no one here.

Yeah, there is.

There's one of you,

and there's one of me.

You were the one in math class.
Tell me what that adds up to.

I'm not coming on too strong
if I just look at him.

♪ A warning sign ♪

♪ I missed the good part ♪ I've
always been fascinated by football.

♪ So, what's it like
to lead a team?

The thing of it is
is the time.

Nobody gets how much time goes
into it with practices and games.

I totally get it. I was kinda
juggling some stuff...

when I was in high school too,
which was also very recent.

Principal Snyder
was always on me.

Well, I still say Wood's the worst. You
haven't seen the way that guy rides me.

I wish somebody would
just get him off my back.

Yeah. That would be cool.

And sometimes I didn't
even do anything wrong.

Oh, wow, you...
You're like a teacher.

Not really.

But I mean,
does it bother you?

Not so much.

♪ I miss you ♪

♪ Yeah the truth is ♪

♪ That I miss you so ♪

Dawn, what's wrong?

Is this... Did that
guy in the jacket...

I don't even want
to hear his name anymore.

I just called him
"that guy in the jacket."

That's what I used to call him in my
head before I knew his real name.

- Dawnie, honey, you seem...
- extremely perturbed.

- Maybe I should go get Buffy.
- No!

I don't ever want
to see her again.

I thought this was about
that guy in the...

The, um...
That guy with the thing.

No. It's about both of them.

Buffy, I think
Dawn needs you. Hey!

Xander. Hi.
This is R.J.

Uh, hey, guy.
It's called knocking.

I'm sorry. It's just checkout time was an
hour ago. We were hoping to make up the bed.

And also, it's a classroom,
you chowderhead!

Now, get off the boy, Buffy.
We're goin' home.

Dawn, please stop crying.
Please?

Crying isn't gonna make his
love for me go away, you know.

Listen, you're under a love spell.
That's what this has to be.

You're right.
He's right.

You're under a spell.
Oh, poor little Dawnie.

But we're working on it.
It'll be better soon.

Yes. Soon neither one of you
will be in love with this boy.

- He's not a boy.
- What do you know about our love?

It's true and real.

This isn't magic.
This is my heart.

Fine. We'll be working.

Look, I know this feels terrible, but
it isn't real. Try to hold on to that.

Did you hear that? It isn't real.
You're just crazy.

It is so real.
I love him.

You knew how I felt... like I'd finally
found something... and you betrayed me.

I betrayed you?

You're the one that constructed this
elaborate fantasy about you and my lover.

Your "lover"?
Your "lover"?

Guys, guys... I tried to
get you to back away.

- That's right. You lied to me.
- But did you want me to tell you that he's in love with me,

that your little crush is hopeless?
It's not a crush!

Stop! You're not supposed
to do this. Why?

Because he's younger than me? You know,
I am extremely youthful and peppy.

No, 'cause you were
the one I trusted.

Dawn, wait!

Crazy little lust puppies, aren't they?
At least the yelling went away.

It was startin' to sound like
Christmas morning with my family.

Love spells. People forget
how dangerous they can be.

- Hey, been there.
- Xander! Xander! Xander!

Stop it! Stop!

- Good times.
- Here. Something.

She's locked her door. That
spell has her good and loopy.

- Info on one R.J. Brooks.
- Oh! Let me see. Is there a picture?

Family stuff.
Hey, I knew his brother.

He was a big jock at Sunnydale High
too, a couple of years ahead of us.

He used to stick
chewing gum in my hair.

- Hmm.
- What are you thinkin'?

Well, I think my relationship with
R.J.'s brother was complex at best,

but maybe
he's a way in.

Now look
for a picture.

I'm just sayin', we're... we're
tangling with a powerful spell here,

and we don't know what the deal is, so... so
keep an eye out if this guy looks twitchy.

And don't let this guy
charm you either.

He had everyone around him practically
kissing his ring back in high school.

Yeah?

Construction, huh? That's awesome.
Yeah.

So, what's up with R.J.? How's he
doin' at the old "alpha" mater?

Uh, good.
It's just,

I know a girl that might be goin'
out with him, and I was wondering...

Got it. You wanna know
if he's a good guy?

Truth is, he's the best.
Followin' in my footsteps.

You might not know it now, lookin'
at me with a couple extra pounds,

but back then
I was quite the guy.

Yeah. I gather that
R.J. is pretty popular too.

Hey, I gotta tell ya. There was
a time I was worried about R.J.

Used to be all into comic books, Model
U.N., geek stuff. No offense, Harris.

One time, I found all this
poetry under his bed.

Turns out he wrote it.

Then he, uh... what do you call it...
blossomed. That's what it was like.

And do you have any idea why he,
you know, burst into a flower?

You're wearing your brother's jacket.
Here in this picture.

Oh, no, dude. He's wearin' mine. That jacket
was with me all the way through high.

Gave it to him
when I graduated.

Right before I started over at the Pizza
Barn. I'm in the management program.

So, Lance, where did you
get the jacket?

Oh, Dad gave it to me. Made a big deal about
it, too, how he met Mom wearin' that jacket.

She was a former Miss Arkansas.
Very hot in her day.

Wow. That's wonderful.
Boy, it's gettin' late.

Hey, you guys don't have to take off
if you don't want to. I-I got...

sort of a rumpus room
set up in the basement.

There's air hockey
and a minifridge.

We could party.

Lance, do you have
guests down there?

- There's little boxes of raisins if you want snacks.
- We really gotta go.

Damn love spell.

I have tried every anti-love
spell spell I can find.

Even if you found the right one,
guy would probably just do...

an anti-anti-love spell spell...
spell.

What?

I'll get it. Maybe it's Xander with
some answers from the brother.

- Oh. You have to be...
- I was lookin' for Buffy... Miss Summers?

- Buffy's not here. Go away.
- You sure?

No Buffy for you.
Leave quickly now.

Uh-huh. Okay.

Tell her to call me.

Man.

Good thing Buffy and Dawn
are upstairs.

If they knew
he was here...

♪

But you don't even know him. Yes, I do.
I looked into him, and I saw his soul.

He was walking away. So unless
his soul is in his ass...

A.J. is my best friend
and my dearest darling.

It's "R.J.," and what you were picking up
on was his deep caring and devotion to me.

What's going on? Willow thinks she's
in love with my boyfriend, R.J.

What? No!
You two can't do this.

Willow, you're a gay woman...
and he isn't.

This isn't about
his physical presence.

- It's about his heart.
- His physical presence has a penis!

- I can work around it.
- This isn't fair. How can you all be doing this to me?

Okay. Wait. Everyone wait. Just calm
down, okay? I think I know what this is.

Clearly, you've both been affected by
the same love spell that got Dawn.

This isn't a spell.
He owns my heart.

Dawn, be quiet. We're trying to work
this out. We don't need you interfering.

There's a simple answer to this. Just
think about who loves him the most.

Clearly I do, since I'm willing to
look past the whole orientation thing.

- I need him.
- Well, you're gonna have to do better than that.

I'd kill for him. You'd
kill for a chocolate bar.

No. Yes! Kill for him.

I'm a Slayer.
"Slayer" means "kill."

Oh! I'll kill the principal.
Hmm. That is hard to top.

Yeah? Well, I have skills.
I can prove my love with magic.

Yeah, right. What are you gonna do?
Use magic to make him into a girl?

Oh, damn.

Oh, wait!
I know what he'll like.

Sorry, Dawnie.

- You're never gonna get him.
- No, never.

O Hecate, I call on you.

I humbly ask your will be done.

Hear my request,
a simple change...

Create a daughter from a s...

Oh, man. Now I've got to start
all over. Hecate hates that.

What the hell are you doing?
Proving I love R.J. the most.

Wil, honey,
R.J.'s a guy.

Well, I did notice that, yeah.
That's why I'm doin' my spell,

'cause, you know,
he doesn't have to be.

Now, hand me back my crystals. I don't
have much time. Much time before what?

Before Buffy and Anya and Dawn
have a chance to prove...

they love R.J. the most. How
are they gonna do that?

Well, Buffy's gonna kill Principal
Wood... Fine. Okay. Let's start there.

♪

Hey!

What are you guys doing?

Locator spell, human variety.
Almost done.

Ooh. I've got a principal to kill.
What's going on? Who are we looking for?

You realize Anya is probably seducing R.J.
even as we speak. My God, you think so?

Well, I wouldn't put it past her.
She's recently evil, you know.

Well, so am I.
Why should I miss out?

Hey, crazy chicks,
look.

Dawn?

- Dawn!
- Buffy!

What were you doing?
What is this?

It doesn't matter. This is a plan? You're
gonna steal R.J. by being trisected?

What, am I gonna
compete with you?

You're older and hotter and have
sex that's rough and kill people.

I don't have any of that stuff. Um, but if I
did this, then his whole life he'd know...

there was someone that loved him
so much they'd give up their life.

Dawn.

And it would be true...
forever.

No guy is worth your life,
not ever.

R.J. is and don't say he isn't.
Look what you were willing to do.

Dawn, I would give him to you in a second if
I could. That's how much you're scaring me.

But I... I thought you wanted him...
for you.

Nah.

Well, yeah.

My God, that boy is hot.

Sorry. I think I might
be under a spell here.

I hear ya.

Now, you're sure you understand the plan?
I think I got it. Yeah.

Hey! Hey!

Ow!

♪ That, my friends, is the smell
of sweet, sweet victory.

♪ Also burning
cotton-poly blend.

Xander, be honest. You didn't,
you know, think about...

slippin' that jacket on
just a little bit?

I refuse to answer that on the
grounds that it didn't fit.

Man, this tool gets
this jacket from his brother,

who got it from their father, and
we'll never know where he got it.

That bites. Nah, welcome to the Hellmouth,
where even outerwear isn't safe.

- I can't believe I almost...
- I can't believe I almost...

It was a spell.
We were helpless.

We're not responsible for anything we
did, morally or, you know, legally.

True. You fell for
a mystical, ancient curse.

Who hasn't made that mistake,
mmm, seven, eight times?

Can you hear that?
Not your fault.

I'm just so...

The way I acted, the
way I talked to you...

I feel so stupid.
All over a spell.

Get ready to feel even
stupider when it's not.

Hey, Anya, you never told us what
you "can't believe you almost... ".

"Almost" who now?

No. You can't be the only
not-embarrassed one. What did you do?

Uh...
I, uh, wrote a poem,

an epic poem,

- comparing him to a daisy...
- and a tower and a lake.

And now the latest on Sunnydale's
late-night bandit who is still at large.

- A masked thief
held up a number of...

Okay. Great.
Ice cream. My treat?

Grr! Arrgh!