Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1996–2003): Season 6, Episode 6 - All the Way - full transcript

Previously on
Buffy the vampire slayer.

Anya, what's wrong
with you?

First you give me this beautiful ring,
and now I can't wear it in public.

- Don't you want to get married?
- Yes.

Come on, Tara. I am so old
enough to do research.

You do research now?

Wanna cappuccino and a pack
of cigarettes to go with it?

Why should I care
about any of this?

Because they'll take you away.

I can't make you go to school,

and I won't be found fit
to be your legal guardian.



Since you've been back,
you haven't exactly been big...

With the whole range
of human emotions thing.

I know you never loved me,
but you treat me like a man.

Um, everything on this table's
half off, including the table.

Buy one eyeball,
get the second one free.

Arrr! Careful, me mateys.

These be fireflies
spat from a volcano...

Off the coast of Kathmandu.

Arrr!
You're not a real pirate.

Real pirates live on boats
and don't look stupid.

Ah, a salty swabbie.

Maybe you be fishing
for the taste of me hook!

Uh, hello, Ahab?
A little help, please?

Arrr! And help
ye shall have. Arrr!



So what are you supposed to be?
An angel.

Oh. Shouldn't you
have wings?

Oh, no. This is a special kind
of angel called a "Charlie."

We don't have wings. We just skate
around with perfect hair fighting crime.

Where's your costume?

Like I'm six years old.
Halloween is so lame.

But you get to dress up
and play games.

Xander's gonna teach me a new one after
work, called "shiver me timbers."

Ever play? Uh, dawn, Willow could
use some help in magical texts.

I'm all over it.

How about you?
Ever play "shiver me timbers"?

I'm not really much
for the timber.

I'm just saying you might want
to rethink the stereotype...

Before someone turns you
into a toad.

And while you're at it, why don't you try
removing that broomstick from your...

Dawn.

Hey. Don't stop the invective
on account of me.

If I see one more idiot that thinks witches
are all hairy moles and rotten teeth...

Excuse me.
Do you have any candy corn?

Oh! Look at you.

You are just
the cutest thing.

But I thought you said...
I know. But look.

With the hat
and the... the wart.

Ah. Oh. Let's go fill your tummy
up with sugary niblets, okay?

Where the unicorn is?
Yeah. Grab it for me.

Buffy,

uh, we're running low
on mandrake root.

Check the basement.

Don't blame me if we have this
conversation over and over...

And over...

And over and over.

Oh!

Bell. Neck. Look into it.

Come with a nice
leather collar, does it?

What are you doing
lurking down here?

Came through the tunnels.
Runnin' low on Berber weed.

Stir it in with the blood.
Makes it all hot and spicy.

What? I was gonna pay for it.

I mean, no. I was gonna Nick
it, 'cause that's what I do.

I go where I please, and I take what
I want. What's your excuse anyway?

I thought you had it to the
brim with customer disservice.

One-time deal to help out.
And I mean straight time.

No loop-da-loop, mummy hand
repeat-o-vision.

Where's the mandrake root?

Um, here.

There are three
to a jar.

Tend to go a bit wonky if you
cram 'em too close. Thanks.

Feel like a bit of
the rough-and-tumble?

What?

Me, you.

Patrolling. Hello?

Oh. Uh, I should stay.

Maybe tomorrow.

Hmm. It's not like
I don't already have plans.

The great pumpkin
is on in 20.

So much easier to talk to
when he wanted to kill me.

Oh! Go help Giles.

What happened to Xander?

He kept poking me
with his hook.

I sent him to charmed objects. With
luck, he'll poke the wrong one...

And end up
in an alternative dimension,

inhabited by a 50-foot Giles that
squishes annoying, teeny pirates.

Look, we've got
a ton of bagging to do here.

A-actually, spike had a really good idea.
You know, maybe i... I should patrol.

Buffy, you've been patrolling every night
this week. Besides, it's Halloween.

It's the one time of the year the
supernatural threats give it...

A well-deserved rest...
As should you.

Yeah? What about costumes
that take over your personality?

Or wee, little, Irish
fear demony thingies?

Yes, well, if anything
calamitous should happen,

history suggests it'll happen to one of us.
Right. Exactly.

So, I should patrol to avoid any of that.
And I'm bagging.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Happy Halloween ♪

Hi.

Give you something...
Special this year.

Hmm.

Come again.

In a zillion years.

Store go boom. Arrr.

That was the most incredible
thing I have ever experienced.

Except for that. What you
all did for me tonight...

The astounding heaps
of money you helped me...

Us acquire.

All I can say is... i hope
we make as much tomorrow.

- Tomorrow?
- Oh, postholiday clearance.

The cornerstone of retail.

Brooms all around then.

Or I could whip up a jaunty
self-cleaning incantation.

It'll be like fantasia.

We all know how splendidly
that turned out for Mickey.

I think I'm a little more
adept than a cartoon mouse.

And you have more fingers,
which is good...

'Cause then there's no need to wear those
big, white gloves to overcompensate.

You know, if you had
a real peg leg,

you wouldn't just have
a lame costume.

You'd actually be lame,
which is completely different...

- you do this every night?
- Every time I close out the cash register.

The dance of capitalist
superiority.

I'm gonna marry that girl.

What?

She's 15 and my sister,
so don't Eve... oh.

Hey, everybody.

Can I, um...

Uh,

there's something Anya and I
want to tell you.

Now?

Now.

We're getting married.

Oh, my god.

Congratulations.

That... that's...

Wow.

It's a big wow.

I... I thought you were waiting
for the right moment.

I did.

Here, have some money.

Did you know about this?

No. Unless I blocked it
from my memory,

much as I will Xander's
vigorous use of his tongue.

Is that why you're always
cleaning your glasses?

So you don't have to see what we're doing?
Tell no one.

Giles, this is...

We have to do something.

And he said he couldn't imagine
the rest of his life without me.

And then he gave me this. Which I'll
be paying for the rest of my life.

Can I try it on?
Oh, absolutely not.

Where I come from, this sort of thing
requires much in the way of libation.

God save the queen.

Sorry we couldn't do the big fancy. You
kind of caught us with our parties down.

Oh, that's okay. This is just the
first premarital celebration.

There'll be lots more.
With gifts.

Sure. Maybe we'll even have time
to decorate for the next one.

Why wait?

This is so much better
than the way it usually looks.

Thank you.

The grocery store is still open.
He could have bought decorations there.

Why bother?
These are perfect.

And extra biodegradabley. In
a couple of hours... poof.

No, they're... they're great.
It's just...

Why use magic when you can
do something naturally?

Well, you can fight monsters naturally...
With sticks and stones.

Don't recommend it though.

That's different.
How?

Becau... because
you're protecting people...

Keeping them from being hurt.

Which makes them happy, like pretty
decorations made Anya happy.

That's not the point, wil.

Why are you being like this?

This isn't about me.
This is so about you.

You're always coming down on me for... for
doing magic that couldn't harm a fly.

What's your problem? Willow, I
j-just wish that you would stop...

And think about
what you're...

Sorry. Just checkin'
on the chips.

It's okay.
We're done.

You're getting married. You.

Me choking.
Oh, sorry.

I just...
I can't believe it.

It seems like only yesterday you
had to pay a girl to date you.

Like I'd ever pay...
Define "date."

I was only out of commission
for three months.

How many other things have
changed since I've been away?

Oh, I got a tattoo.
What?

Which is why we told her no.
Just a little one?

Over my dead body.

The kind
that doesn't come back.

Fine.

Congratulations.

You're very lucky
finding a guy like him.

Not as lucky as me.

- See you guys tomorrow?
- Oh. "Tomorrow"?

Yeah. I'm sleeping over
at Janice's. Remember?

That's tonight?

No. It's on the other Halloween.

Come on.
You said I could.

Uh...

Well, i... I know I did.

It's just, you know,
now with Xander's party...

Oh, we're good, but you'll have to get
us some extra gifts for our reception.

- Yes, please.
- Uh, i... I don't know. Giles?

Uh, it's really not up to me.

Come on. It's four blocks away.
I'll walk straight over.

Not like I'm gonna be
roaming the streets.

Please?

Hello?

Hey.
Oh.

- Perv.
- Sorry. I thought...

Hey, summers.

Did you get over the wall okay? Yeah. My
sister thinks I'm staying at your house.

Ah. The mominator thinks
I'm staying at yours.

I can't believe they fell for that one.
Like, own a TV.

So where are we meeting?

The park.

That's where all the monsters
gather on Halloween.

♪♪ Whoo-hoo!

- Hey. Ow!
- Oops.

Nice shot.

Hey, baby.
Hey.

What took you so long? I had to
stop for crimes and misdemeanors.

Zack, this is my friend dawn
I was telling you about.

Hello.
Ow.

Hey. Justin.

I know. I've seen you around
at a couple of parties.

I've seen you too.

Hey. We'll
catch you guys later.

Alone at last.

So, what do you guys
want to do?

Yeah! Three points!
Whoo!

Witches don't really
look like that.

- You got a lot of witch friends?
- Uh, no.

I mean from stuff
that I've read and stuff.

Um, some of them are supposed to be really
pretty, and you don't want to get them mad.

New target. Come on. Whoo-hoo!

So?

- He's okay.
- Ho hum okay,

or, like, "oh, my god. I think
I'm gonna pee my pants" okay?

Pee.

So what's the verdict,
captain?

Is little Justin in love?

I don't know.
She's cute.

Well, congratulations
for having eyeballs.

What about, uh,
you know,

goin' all the way?

Do you think that, uh... that the moon
and the stars look lovely tonight?

You think when we're done with this juvie
crap maybe we can do something else?

I'm getting kind of bored.

Just one more.

Anya is a wonderful
former vengeance demon.

I'm sure you'll spend many years
of non-hell dimensional bliss.

Is she moving in with you?
Uh...

You know, with your combined incomes, you
might think about a down payment on a house.

Like the kind you live in?
No rush.

You'll have plenty to think about with the
arrangements for the wedding and such.

You've got the rest of your lives
to plan the rest of your life.

Yeah, yeah.

No way.

You know who lives there?

Old man Kaltenbach.
Crusty old bastard.

Isn't he supposed to be
mental or something?

Total loony tunes.
Pumpkins.

Very dangerous.

- You go first.
- Wha...

Screw that. Oh, come on.
Show us how brave you are.

See those cute, little
girlie guts.

Lay off, man.
If she doesn't want to...

I'll do it.
Go, dawn.

Look, you don't
have to do this.

It's okay. I want to.

Shouldn't ought to
mess with those.

Sometimes they bite.

Get away from her. Don't make
me go kung fu on you, man.

Come on inside, kids.
Got somethin' special for ya.

Daddy's got a treat.

Cool.
No, no, no.

We are so
not going in there.

Dawn, tell them.

Dude, where'd you get
the cool toys?

Used to design 'em
back in '58.

Nothin' would give me
more pleasure...

Than to see
a child's face...

Light up when he'd
open one of mine...

On a Christmas or a birthday.

I was good.

Jeepers. I was the best.

And then that thing happened.

One little mistake,

and they took it
all away from me.

They...

They took my toys.

Time for the treats.

Who wants to help daddy
in the kitchen?

How about you, Sally?

Uh, Sally's not much for the cooking.
Why don't I give you a hand?

Hands are good.

Always use more hands.

More hands.

♪♪

I say we get the funk out of here before "Satan"
Claus tries to stuff us up the chimney.

♪♪ What, and miss the big treat?

That'll break the old guy's "wittle"
heart, assuming it's still beating.

She's right. We should
just get Justin and go.

Come on. The dude's
a thousand years old.

- What's he gonna do?
- Drown us in his drool cup?

♪♪ Hey. Where's its head?

Boo.

What the hell was that?

Justin?

Justin?

- Let's go.
- What happened?

I swiped his wallet when he
wasn't looking. Come on.

Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
Oh, my god. Oh, my god.

Dude, that guy was rank.

I bet a spritz of dawn
will wash that right out.

So what do you think?
Lunchables?

Or should we go all the way
and turn 'em?

So, I was thinking
maybe a June wedding.

Then I remembered
that they always had...

The highest percentage
of calls for vengeance.

Now I'm leaning towards
as soon as damn possible.

Mortal life being so short, we gotta cram
in as much marital bliss as we can...

Before we wither and die.

I mean, there's just
so much to consider though.

I mean, planning the wedding and
new cars, a house and babies.

You have to
plan for babies,

otherwise they'll just run roughshod
over your entire existence.

Yeah. You... you gotta know what to
call them before they hit college.

Ah. Rupert is
an exceptionally strong name.

Yeah. If we want our progeny to eat paste
and have their lunch money stolen.

Hmm.

Look, all that matters
is that they're happy.

Everything else
is thick gravy goodness.

I know. I mean, I'm the
luckiest ex-demon in the world.

I mean, to be able to find
the one person...

In-in all dimensions
that I was meant to be with...

And... and have everything work
out exactly as I dreamed.

I mean, how often does the
universe allow that to happen?

Air. Sweet mother oxygen.

Are you okay?

Yeah. I just...

It's just i... i didn't
think it'd be so much.

But this is good.

This is love and celebration...

And moving forward.

Anya's right. This is the way
life's supposed to work out.

Right. Deep pools
of ooey delight.

I'm wallowing,
not drowning.

Definite wallow action.

Okay. So, once more
into the breach?

Oh. I think my breaches
are wearing a little thin.

I'm gonna take spike up
on that offer to patrol.

Gotta be somethin' out there
cruisin' for a smack-down.

So, you're, like,
what, a sophomore?

I wish.
Oh, freshman.

Yep. Way down there at
the bottom of the rung.

Hmm. Actually, kind of under those little
rubber feet that keep the ladder steady.

Hey, those are important.

Here. Spoils of war.
You earned it.

I did?
Yeah, for keeping me steady.

And so begins
her life of crime.

Hmm. You're
a little late.

I steal all the time. Really?

Totally. I haven't paid for
lipstick since... forever.

Oh, be still, my heart.
Cute and bad.

Yeah.
Bad to the bone.

More like frozen.
Here.

Thanks.
My pleasure, miss summers.

Hey. Where's Zack?

He went to get the car.

You guys got a car?

Thanks for the ride.

[ Man ] Ou got the stretcher? Man ♪2 ] Yep.
Watch your back.

- Coming through.
- All right. Let's go.

I'm losing her pulse.

Let's get her in.

Summers residence.

Oh. Mrs. Penshaw. Yeah.

No, dawn said she was
staying the night at your house.

Well, ye... yes, I realize that now, but I
don't believe that you called to check...

No, all right.
Let's just, um...

Okay, if i... if I hear
anything I'll let you know.

♪♪

♪♪ ♪ Yeah ♪

♪ You're the one that
got that something ♪

♪ You're the one that
got that something ♪♪

Hey, we were just
getting our dance on.

That was Janice's mother
on the telephone.

Apparently Janice said that she
was staying here the night.

Ah. Dipping into the classics.
You gotta respect that.

Is Buffy still outside?
Uh, no, no.

She was getting antsy. She went
to go find spike to patrol.

It's always nice
to be kept in the loop. Um,

Xander, Anya, you stay here in case Mrs.
Penshaw calls again.

Willow, Tara,
you check downtown.

I'll, uh, swing by spike's,
see if I can catch Buffy.

Oh.

Don't do nothing I would, dude.

Mmm.

You're it.

I love it when they run.

So.

Yeah.

Ooh. It's cold.

You okay?
You want this back?

Nah.

Cold doesn't really
bother me.

What are you, superman?

No, but I do have
a few special powers.

Hey. Um,

does this work?

You gotta turn the ignition.

Oh.

♪ Got me goin' on ♪

I love this one.
♪ Again ♪

Yeah. Another thing
we have in common.

♪ Around my smile ♪

♪ And I got
a thoughtless feeling ♪

You're shaking.

♪ Inside ♪
it's cold.

You want to go?

N-no. It's just, um,

what do you expect?
Shh.

I just want to taste you.

♪ I've got it goin' on ♪

♪ Got me goin' on again ♪

♪ Around my smile ♪
shiver me timbers.

What?

Um, nothing.
Just... wow.

Oh, my god.
That was your first.

Wh-what? No.

It was.
That was your first kiss.

Uh...
I've been kissed before.

I... I kiss all the time.
Not that I'm a kiss slut.

Just, you know, with... with the lips
and... and the pressing together and stuff,

hey, expert here.

Okay, okay.
It was my first kiss.

I know, I know.
I suck. My...

My lips are dry and my tongue's
all horrible and sticky,

and I'm pretty sure
I drooled on you.

So just please tell me
how awful it was.

♪ I've got it goin' ♪

It was perfect.

♪ I've got it goin' on ♪♪

♪ I'm giving cheers to you ♪

♪ Conversation ♪

♪ Use up again ♪

♪ Well, there's nothing
I can defend ♪

♪ You just simply
don't understand ♪

♪ Anyway ♪

Do they know
they're brother and sister?

Do you think she's here?

What?

Do you think dawn
might have come here?

It's where I'd be
if I were 15 and on the lam.

Really?

Well, not me at 15,
'cause, hello, spaz.

You?
Yeah. Hard to believe...

Such a hot mama yamma came from
humble, geek-infested roots.

"Infested roots."
Trying to turn me on?

I have to try now?

Come on.
Let's look over here.

Do you see her?

No, there's too many people.

Maybe we could ask
security to...

No. That'll take
too long.

One among many,
many fade to one.

What are you doing? Wil. I'm
just gonna clear the crowd.

How?

I'll just shift everyone who isn't a
15-year-old girl into an alternate dimension.

What?

No, it'll be for like a fraction of
a second. They won't even notice.

Wil, no, you can't.

Why?

Wh... what if something
went wrong?

Well, it won't.

But wh-what would Giles say?

Are you taking his side now?

This isn't about sides.

You two have been talking
about me behind my back.

No. God. You know how
that makes me feel?

Willow, you are using
too much magic.

What do you want me to do? Just...
just sit back and keep my mouth shut?

Well, that'd be a good start.

If I didn't love you
so damn much, I would.

Tara.

♪ To go away ♪

♪ Doo, doo, doo-doo ♪♪

♪ I've started to see you
clearly today ♪

♪ If you really loved me ♪

Ow.
♪ You know you'd stay ♪

Sorry.

It's okay.

As long as
it's not bleeding.

Justin. Could we...

It's just...

God, you are so beautiful.

♪ To keep me smiling ♪

♪ Looks like the night
has come to an end ♪

♪ And yet
the sun is shining ♪

♪ I know you start with ♪♪

Get your gear together.
We need to...

Spike?

You know, in civilized cultures
that's called trespassing.

Good thing
you're uncivilized.

We've got trouble.
Giles found you?

Giles? No. Was he looking for me?
Yeah, it's dawn.

Dawn? Wh-what happened?

No, it's okay. Giles was by
here earlier looking for you.

Dawn and her little friend
pulled a Houdini.

Up to a bit of candy-corn
mischief, I suspect.

Wait. She's out there
running around by herself?

Yeah, kids these days, eh?

I did a sweep of the tunnels. Giles
is pokin' about the cemetery.

We have to find her.
I don't think she's in there.

Mist, cemetery,

Halloween.

This should end well.

Bloody brilliant.

Dawn!

Dawn, are you all right?

Janice?
He bit me.

- That jerk bit me.
- Like you weren't asking for it.

I feel certain
she wasn't.

What do you know
about it, grandpa?

Quite a bit, actually.

Dude, that sucks.

Dawn. Where's dawn?

Get off me!
Dawn, wait. Wait.

Look, I thought we could, you know,
like, hang out or something.

Hang out?
Yeah.

I mean, you're not like other girls.
You're different.

There's something special
about you.

I knew it the first time
I saw you.

I just want to
be close to you.

Shh.

It's okay. It'll only
hurt for a second.

I'll bet you say that
to all the girls.

Giles?

Now, you have a choice, son.

We can do this the easy way,
or we can do this the har...

What were my choices again?

So, this a private game,

or, uh,
can anyone join in?

Dawn, are you...

Were you parking
with a vamp?

I... I didn't know he was dead.
Living dead.

- Shut up.
- How could you not know?

- I just met him.
- Oh. So you were...

Parking in the woods
with a boy you just met.

We've seen each other
at parties.

Shut up.
I don't believe you.

Oh, like you've never
fallen for a vampire?

That was different.

It always is
when it's you.

Uh, excuse me.
Can we fight now?

Hey, didn't anyone come here
to just make out?

Aw, that's sweet.
You run.

You scream.

Die, slayer.

Mm-hmm.

Your sister's the slayer?
I totally get it.

I knew there was
something about you.

Giles!

What is
your malfunction, man?

It's Halloween, you nit.
We take the night off.

Those are the rules. Me and mine
don't follow no stinkin' rules.

We're rebels.

No. I'm a rebel.

You're an idiot.

Give the lot of us
a bad name.

Trick or treat.

Give me somethin'
good to eat.

I thought you really liked me.

I do.

And you like me too.

I do.

Sorry about the party.
Ah, don't worry about it.

It gave me more time
to plan the bridal shower.

Uh, where do we order obscenely
muscular male strippers?

Anya.
I'm kidding. Geez.

We'll talk.
I guess I should bugger off.

Something about big bads not venturing
far from the crypts on Halloween.

- Good fight.
- So, uh, big monster bashing?

Sorry we missed it.

As long as dawn's all right.

Yeah, that's what's... i... I think
I'm gonna turn in. Good night.

Tara. Tara.

How's your face?

Oh, still ruggedly handsome.
"Grandpa" indeed. Ow.

She's taking it
pretty hard.

Well, it's not surprising. Still, we
can't ignore this kind of behavior.

Something needs to be done
before it spins out of control.

You're right. I'm glad you're
here to take care of it.

Don't be too hard
on her, okay?

We need to have a conversation.

This the part where you
tell me you're not angry?

Just disappointed?

Pretty much. Except for the
bit about not being angry.

I'm... I'm sorry, okay?

It's not that easy.

Well, what do you
want me to do?

Reverse time and take it back?
'Cause I could probably...

A joke.
I don't think I could really...

You know what?
Can... can we not do this now?

I'm tired.

Okay.

Let's just forget
it ever happened.

Forget.

Ooh. Your feet are cold.

Better warm me up.
Mmm.

This is how every day
should always end...

And start and all the stuff
in the middle.

So, uh, you're not mad?

About what?

Grr! Arrgh!