Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1996–2003): Season 5, Episode 11 - Triangle - full transcript

While Giles is in England meeting with the Watcher Council, a bickering Anya and Willow mind the magic store and inadvertently conjure up a fearsome troll.

Previously on
Buffy the vampire slayer.

We had to hide the key. Made
it human and sent it to you.

Dawn.

Okay, your mom's
in recovery.

Is she all right?

Your mother's
going to be fine.

I want to
show you something.

Harder.

Buffy.

I have given you everything I
have... my heart, my body and soul.

I just don't feel it.



They want me back, Buffy.
The military.

I'm leaving tonight.

Riley!

You ever have that feeling
where there's something...

You're supposed to do,
and you forgot what it was?

- Nope.
- I've been having that feeling. I just realized what it was.

Like, three weeks ago, Riley asked
me to borrow a Crescent wrench,

and I keep having this feeling like
I'm supposed to give it to him.

Well, that's not going to
happen unless he comes back.

You know, not to get the Crescent wrench.
Just to come back.

I just mean, sometimes I sort
of forget that he's gone.

It's like, where's Riley?

Oh, wait, the central Republic
of where in the hell.

Xander?
If you ever decide to go,



I want a warning.

You know, big flashing red lights
and one of those clocks...

That counts down
like a bomb in a movie?

And there's a whole
bunch of colored wires,

and I'm not sure which
is the right one to cut,

but I guess the green one and
then at the last second,

no, the red one, then click, it stops
with 3/10ths of a second left,

but then you don't leave.

Like that, okay?

Check. Big bomb clock.

Come here.

Maybe it's her.
Huh?

Well, maybe it
won't happen to us,

because it's all about
her messing things up.

She couldn't make it work with angel,
and then she let Riley go away.

Yeah, relationship debris
is kind of piling up...

On the Buffy highway.
Hmm.

Humans make the same
mistakes over and over.

I saw it when I was
a vengeance demon.

Some guy dumps a girl.
She calls me.

I exact vengeance,
blah, blah, blah.

The next year, same
girl, different guy.

I mean, after you
smite a few of 'em,

you start going,
"my goodness, young lady,

maybe you're doing
something wrong here too."

I don't think it's
a pattern with her.

No, it's just,
you know,

now that it
happened again,

man number two,

I wonder how she's
dealing with it.

Sister Abigail, the choir is ready.
Hmm, thank you.

What... what...
What was that?

He looked like
a... a demon.

Yeah, he did.
Are you okay?

Yeah, I think so.
Here.

So, um,
about being a nun.

You know, um,
with the whole...

Abjuring the company
of men, you know?

How's that working for you?
The abjuring.

Um, good.

Yeah, do you have to be,
like, super-religious?

Well, uh...
How's the food?

All right. Switch.
Left lead.

So you really think they
might be able to help us?

If you mean are they gonna help us
find out something about glory...

I saw that coming. You're
dropping your shoulder.

The resources that the watchers
council have at its disposal...

I mean, the central library
alone is...

Don't talk about
the books again.

You get all...
And sometimes there's drool.

I'm sorry, but we
have really exhausted...

The materials I have here
and we're coming up empty.

And you're... you're still
dropping your shoulder.

I can see when you're
gonna go with your right.

You're doing it again!

W-wow! Ohh!
Sorry, sorry.

So, glory's all you're gonna
talk to them about, right?

Let's-let's take a break.
Answer me.

I'm not gonna mention dawn's name.
I wouldn't do that. I promise.

But you're gonna tell
them about the key?

That glory's looking
for something called the key?

Knowing her goal
is-is crucial.

I mean, if anything helps
them uncover her origins,

- her plans...
- I know.

It's just I trust these watchers about
as far as you could throw them.

Thank you very much.

I'm just freaked about
the idea of giving them...

Any information that could
possibly lead them to dawn.

Truly, Buffy, if I
saw an alternative...

If the initiative
were still around,

I'd consider using them,
but they're gone.

And then Riley was the last link
we had to the government.

I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to, uh...

It's okay. You can
say his name.

I'm doing all right.
These things happen.

People break up
and they move on.

For a while it feels like
the end of the world, you know,

but big picture...
Not so huge.

Not so huge? I just said it feels
like the end of the world!

Don't you listen?

I'm teasing.
Oh.

Sort of.
I'll be okay.

Well, I do hate to go
if you're feeling badly.

Look, if it helps you
find out something about glory,

I'm thrilled
to have you gone.

You're going away
for a week?

- That's great!
- Yes, yes, everybody seems delighted about it.

Well, I get to
run the store, right?

You? Well, there's quite a lot
for one person to take care of.

Uh, uh, I mean, the
trash men, for example.

I mean, Th-Th-they've been making
such a mess in the back alley...

That the recycling people can't
get in there to collect.

- Well, somebody has to talk to them.
- I can take care of that.

I'm envious, Mr. Giles.
A trip to England sounds...

So exciting and exotic...
Unless you're English.

Don't worry about the shop.
We'll take care of it.

- We can open and close, and we'll deal with everyone.
- We can come by between classes.

Usually I use that time to copy
over my class notes...

With a system
of different colored pens,

but it's been pointed out to me
that that's, you know, insane.

- I said "quirky."
- Hello? I work here.

- I'll take care of everything.
- Yeah, Anya can do it.

Thanks, sweetie.
Well said.

Um, Anya, while I
completely trust you,

uh-uh, to take care
of the inventory and the money,

um,

dealing with people requires
a certain, uh, finesse.

I have finesse! I have finesse
coming out of my bottom!

I can completely lie
to the health inspector.

I can, you know, distract him with coy
smiles and bribe him with money and goods.

See there?
She'll be great.

Don't worry, Giles. I'll help
her take care of everything.

It'll be shipshape.
Better, it'll be "shopshape."

Xander, she's talking to
Giles like I'm not here.

- Make her stop.
- Perhaps I'd better call the airline.

I'm just trying to help out.
Xander, tell her!

Schedule an earlier flight back.
Excuse me.

Tell her that I
don't need her help.

- So, how goes the slaying?
- I killed something in a convent last night.

In any other room, a frightening
declaration. Here, a welcome distraction.

Tell us all about
the killing, buff.

Pretty standard.
Vampire staking.

Oh! But I met a nun and she
let me try on her wimple.

Okay, now we're back
to frightening.

You! You with the actual
clothing. Who are you?

Dawn! Come look at this.

It's hard
to recognize me, huh?

Whoa.
No more bathrobe.

Mmm, I looked at it today
and there it was,

all fuzzy and blue, and I just
couldn't stand it anymore.

I don't think the rest of us
will miss it much either.

It was getting a little ripe, mom.
Maybe we should burn it.

- It would keep the bugs away.
- It doesn't smell!

Fine, fine, make
your funny jokes...

At the expense of the woman
with a hole in her skull.

Let's go. I think
we've tired her out.

- Whatcha doin'?
- Playing soccer.

Can I hang out
in here?

Don't touch anything.

You took down
his pictures.

Yeah.

I... I think I would've
done that sooner.

Like, boom. Don't wanna
see that face again.

It wasn't like that.
I was never angry with him.

Okay, that's a lie.

But it's not like I didn't
want to see his face.

I was just starting
to kind of like the guy...

And then...
Gone. So fast.

It wasn't really
so fast, him leaving.

According to everyone who isn't
me, it was kind of gradual.

Oh.

Does that make it any better?
No.

Because you should have
noticed earlier?

Stop being insightful.
It's creepy.

It hurts. In all kinds
of horrible ways.

In the way where
I'm furious at him,

in the way where
I blame myself...

And all the little ways
I imagine...

How I could have
fixed things.

It'll get better.

Won't it?

I hope so.

Yes, it has to.

I'll just keep going
like I have been,

and every day it'll
get a little bit better.

Really? Every day?

Not really. But it'll
be better soon.

It still feels
all sudden to me.

With him gone where
no one can talk to him.

But you never know.
Maybe he'll come back.

Maybe he'll
hate the jungle,

or maybe he'll want
to give it another try.

I could say all the things
I didn't get to say.

Um,

there's something
I got to tell you...

About showing you
Riley in that place.

I didn't mean to...

Anyway, I know you're
feeling all betrayed...

By him, not me.

I was trying to help,
you know.

Not like I made him
be there, after all.

Actually trying to help you.
Best intentions.

You know, pretty state you'd be in,
thinking things are all right...

While he's toddling
halfway around the bend.

Oh, I'll insult him
if I want to.

I'm the one who's
on your side.

Me, doing you a favor.

And you being
dead petty about it.

Me, getting nothing
but your hatred...

And your venom and...
You ungrateful bitch!

Bitch!

Buffy, there's something
I wanted to tell you.

Good. And...
And hellebore.

It's up
and to the right.

Hellebore. One of my favorites.
It's powerful stuff.

I tried to use it to de-rat
Amy and it didn't work,

but I think it might have
made her really smart.

She keeps giving me these looks
like she's planning something.

Rubbing her paws
together.

Hey, what are
you two doing?

Oh, we're gonna
try out a few spells.

There's this thing you can
do where you create light,

and we thought, what if you could
make, like, simulated sunlight?

Yeah, so then, you know,
there Buffy is,

middle of the night, and she
finds this whole nest of vamps,

and then she just
goes "presto"!

Only it won't
be "presto," exactly.

And voomph! There's a
floating ball of sunlight.

Vamps get dusty. You don't want
to look right at it though.

Uh, that's swell, but you
can't use this stuff.

Giles has only
been gone two days,

and you're already
causing trouble.

- You shouldn't do things while he's gone.
- You're the fish!

- What?
- The fish in the bowl in the cat in the hat.

He was always saying
that the-the...

Cat shouldn't be there
while the mother was out.

What are you talking about? It's a
book... this cat does all this mischief.

It's so cute. He balances
a bunch of stuff,

including that fish
in the bowl.

And-and... but don't try it
for real when you're six.

Because then you're not allowed
to have fish for five years.

You're referencing literature I
have no way to be familiar with.

You're trying to make me feel
left out, and you're stealing.

I'm not stealing. I'm just taking
things without paying for them.

In what twisted dictionary
is that stealing?

- Maybe we should just pay.
- Anya, Giles would be totally fine with this.

Come on. It'll be fun. We could
show you how to do some stuff.

You could be floating pencils
by the end of the day.

Sometimes I miss
having powers.

Oh. Oh! I know
what this is!

This is peer pressure! Any second
now you're gonna make me...

- Smoke tobacco and have drugs.
- Look how easy.

Hey! Don't float
the merchandise!

Stop that!

Hey, look at this. My two favorite girls.
Three favorite girls.

Xander, Willow's stealing.
She's a burglar.

Right. The cunning, broad daylight,
in front of everyone burglar.

Xander, I'm just doing
a spell to help Buffy.

Giles left me in charge.
Tell her.

Hey. Hey. Judge Xander
requesting a recess here.

You really shouldn't pull him into this.
Yes, see?

Tara's with me.
Protect me, Tara.

Xander, what I'm doing,
it's a good thing.

And if it doesn't work, Giles never
even needs to know about it.

Oops.

The cash register!

What did you do with the cash register?
Dear god!

I'll fix it! I'll fix it!
Recursat.

There. All back.
Good as new.

Money. Did you
hurt the money?

Money good? She
endangered the money!

Of course, that's
what she cares about.

"I like money
better than people.

People can so rarely be exchanged
for goods and/or services."

She's pretending to be me! Well, can
you even believe how she's acting?

Okay, you know what? I'm tired
of being the one in the middle.

- I'm not gonna let you pull me into this.
- I'm not.

Whatever the issue is between you
two, just figure it out without me.

Xander, don't go.

You made him mad.
Me?

Tara, who do you think
he was more mad at?

Um, you know?
I think, uh, maybe...

Maybe you guys have some
stuff you need to work out.

You know,
just really talk.

Fleabane.
Fifteen cents.

Salamander eyes.

Ten bucks for 12.
Bargain.

Bindweed. Ooh,
that's a pricey one.

Would you stop that?
It's very distracting.

Fine. Make your little
ball of sunshine. I'll be quiet.

Good, because this spell
is very sensitive.

Once I begin, any non-ritual
word can disrupt it.

Fine.

Okay. Here we go.

- Did you start yet?
- Shh! No!

This is it.

Spirits of light,
I invoke thee.

Let the gloom of darkness
part before you.

Let the moonlight be made pale
by your presence.

Spirits...
Is it done?

Shh!

Spirits of light, Grant my wishes.
Sorry, I thought you were done.

Do you wanna
screw this up?

No, no. I'm sure you can
do that all on your own.

Hey, Anya, whatever really has you
mad, why don't you just say it...

Like you do every other thought
that stomps through your brain?

- I believe I have said it.
- No, you haven't.

Come on. Let it out!

He's not
a ball of sunshine.

Ah, new semester,
new classes.

Whole new vistas of knowledge to
be confused and intimidated by.

I think this one's
gonna be kind of fun.

Greek art is gonna
touch on so many things,

mythology and history
and philosophy.

The professor spit too much when he talked.
It was like being at seaworld.

"The first five rows
will get wet."

That was just, you know,
um, enthusiasm.

It seemed very much
like saliva.

We'll sit farther back next time.
Hmm. Good plan.

I need to keep this course.

The only other thing that fits into my
schedule is central American geopolitics.

Hmm.
And no, thank you.

I even hear the word jungle,
and all I can think of is him.

You know, is that
the one Riley's in?

I really don't need
a daily 2:00 knife in the heart.

Is it that bad?

Sort of.

But I'm starting to get perspective
on the whole situation.

You know, maybe Riley's
where he's supposed to be.

You know, maybe he needed
to be where he was needed.

Willow says that things
always happen for a reason.

But you ever notice people only
say that about bad things?

But not for me
the furrowed brow.

What do you say we
go pick up Willow...

And indulge in a little after-school
hamburger? I guess we could.

She might still be
at the magic shop.

I was there earlier and she and Anya
kind of got in this little squabble.

Xander and I sort of cleared out.
He was pretty upset.

Anya and Xander are in trouble?
Oh!

No, I said that all wrong. It was nothing.
Willow and Anya were sort of fighting,

and then Xander kind of snapped
at both of them and he left.

He left?
Xander left Anya?

Um, no, not left her,
left her.

He just left.

It was only a little thing.
Really. Little thing?

See, the thing is,
little things get bigger.

You know? And-and... and if you
don't catch the little thing...

And then, boom! You have
this-this whole huge thing!

Oh, dear.

Not them,
with the little things.

They can't break up!
I think...

They have a beautiful love.
I think they'll be fine.

They have a miraculous love.
What?

A miraculous love.

There! That parked car!
We're still on his trail.

I don't even get
how we made that guy,

because... wow, advanced.

No one made him. He must have
been trapped in that crystal...

And you released him.
I released him?

No, this was
definitely a "we" thing.

Or a "you" thing. It definitely
feels like a "you" thing.

Look, just find
the reversal spell.

And hurry! Look what he
did to that lamppost!

I'm trying. Put the top up.
The pages are all blowy.

Well, I don't know how
to put the top up.

I only just figured out
what the left pedal does.

It makes us stop!

You don't know
how to drive?

Why didn't you say you
don't know how to drive?

Well, I couldn't know if I
could until I tried, could I?

This is very, very bad.

There's an ogre
on the loose...

- Troll.
- What?

Troll on the loose.

Now, hold on. I'm gonna press
the right pedal harder.

I expect us
to accelerate.

There's a troll on the loose, and
you're gonna crash giles's car!

It's likely.
We're going very fast.

You should have listened to me and not
done a spell. Giles put me in charge.

Giles can be an idiot.
The smart kind, but still.

- Xander agreed.
- Oh, right. Xander doesn't step out of line.

- Well, what do you mean by that?
- Nothing.

Willow! Find that
spell quickly!

Whoa. That's gone.

Hey, watch it.
Oh, it's you.

Spike. Don't let me stop you
from not being here.

I was here first, you know.
Uh-huh.

Go away.

Now, why would
I do that...

When it's bugging you
so much having me here?

They have
chicken wings too.

Also a sort of a
flower-shaped thing...

They make from an
onion... it's brilliant.

Are you talking to me hoping
that I'll get so depressed...

That I'll impale myself on a
fork right in front of you?

Lovely thought.

If I don't hurt you myself,
the chip wouldn't zap me.

I could eat you that way. Beat
the onion thing all to hell.

Hey! Those are mine.

My, my. Someone's
in a temper.

This all sympathetic "commisery"
borrowed from the slayer?

What? No, nothing
to do with Buffy.

So she's all right,
then. Not, uh,

holding grudges.

What are you
talking about?

What does Buffy have to do with anything?
What grudges?

Oh, yeah. Okay. No need
to talk about her then.

I'm sure she's merrily
slaying some pals of mine,

having
a grand old time.

This is very bad.

Willow?
Anya?

They're not back there,
either. They're gone.

Buffy, something's been here,
and Willow's gone.

Don't worry. We'll get her back.
I promise.

Come on. This thing's probably
leaving a huge trail.

Puny receptacle!

You do well to flee,
townspeople!

I will pillage
your lands and dwellings.

I will burn your crops
and make merry sport...

With your more attractive
daughters.

Mark my words.

Ooh! Ale!

I smell delicious ale!

They get in these fights, and they're
both lookin' at me like I'm the referee.

Also, sometimes I'll say something about
Anya, and Willow'll get this look,

this, uh, what-the-hell-
do-you-see-in-her look.

I know that look. A lot of people
never really got dru, you know?

Well, she was insane.

Then it's like,
well, I get all torn,

because Willow's my best friend, and
I really value her opinion, but, uh,

Anya's my girlfriend,
you know?

What does the slayer think of
all this friction in the ranks?

- Can't be good for morale.
- I don't know.

She's a little preoccupied,
maybe.

It's understandable,
what with all the upset,

all the blaming
of innocent bystanders...

That got caught up in the mess.
What?

I mean, did she want
to be made a fool of?

And what does a person
have to do to make it right?

Hey, watch it, mate.

On second thought,
do what you like.

Ale! Yes!

Ahh, fragrant ale.
Ahh.

So, uh, think I should
run and get Buffy?

Ahh.

Barmaid, bring me
stronger ale...

And some plump,
succulent babies to eat.

I'm gonna run and get Buffy,
or maybe you could fight him.

Yeah, I could do that, but I'm
paralyzed with not caring very much.

You there!

Do you know where
there are babies?

What do you think, the hospital?
What? Shut up.

Um, listen.

I find myself very hungry.

And when I am hungry,
I grow short of Patience.

Well, we can take care
of the hungry.

So, how's about you just sit down
in one of the sturdier chairs,

and we could have a calm
talk and something to eat.

Can it be babies?
Well, not so much.

- Ohh.
- But maybe...

Some
roast pigs and stags...

And much hearty grog.

They've got this onion thing.
You cannot appease me!

Do not try! More ale!

Xander, you shouldn't be here.
There's a troll.

Uh, a big guy?
Hammer?

I think
I noticed him.

I wish Buffy was here.
I'm here.

I wish I had
a million dollars.

- Just checking.
- What's going on?

Where did
he come from?

- Hello, Buffy.
- Willow stole ingredients...

And released him from a purple
crystal... he's a troll.

You did this?
Me? No, we.

I mean, us. Her.
It's very complex.

We can stop him.
Willow, do the spell.

Uh, "let
the conjuring be..."

stop!

Nobody lets me
finish.

You... told the witch
to do that, anyanka.

You seem determined to
put an end to all my fun,

just like you always did
when we were dating!

Uh, um...
You dated him?

You dated a troll?

And we're, what,
surprised by this?

He wasn't a troll then.

You know, he was just
a big, dumb guy, and...

You know, he cheated on me,
and I made him into a troll.

Which, by the way, is how I got
the job as a vengeance demon.

I did not cheat!

Not in my heart.

It was only one wench.

I had had a great deal
of mead.

Next thing I know,
I'm a troll.

Ohh, ohh.
You did this, anyanka.

- You will die for this!
- But-but...

You seem to enjoy
the... the being a troll.

I adjusted.

And then what happened?
Witches...

Filthy, dirty,
disgusting witches.

They trapped me. I was imprisoned
in that crystal for centuries.

Ohh! A curse
on all witches!

- All must die!
- Willow, again.

"Let the conjuring be undone,
return the beast to native form."

Witch,
you must stop!

"Keep him far from us and ours as
long as my voice shall sound."

- It did not work.
- Wait. "Let the conjuring..."

where is he?
Gone.

Xander, follow him. Anya, Willow,
head back to the magic shop.

Find a spell that will
actually stop him.

You're gonna be okay.

- What are you doing?
- Making this woman more comfortable.

I'm not sampling,
I'll have you know.

Look at all these lovely
blood-covered people.

I could, but not a taste
for spike, not a lick.

I knew you
wouldn't like it.

You want credit
for not feeding...

Off bleeding
disaster victims?

Well, yeah.

You're disgusting.

What's it take?

Hurry up! I'm taking everything
on relocation spells,

suspension spells,
and, what the heck,

spells to make him really sleepy,
because... slightly better.

In case we need 'em, I'm getting
more of all the things you stole.

I didn't...
Why do you do that?

What?
You're so rude.

I mean, sure, at first...

Ex-demon, doesn't know the rules.
Well, you been here forever.

Learn the rules.
Rules are stupid.

Great. Whatever.

I just thought
you might be interested...

In learning
to act more human.

Some of us enjoy it.

Oh, look for spells with dimensional
portals too. I am a human.

And there are many humans
who are stranger than me.

Uh-huh, but unless
I'm really wrong...

About crazy Larry
down at the bus stop,

he's probably not gonna
turn Xander into a troll.

Well, that's a very
complicated procedure.

Oh, you think
I'm gonna hurt Xander?

I would never
hurt Xander!

You really think I would do that.
Anya, it's what you do.

You spent, what,
a thousand years hurting men?

You got your thousand-years-
of-hurting-men gold watch.

I was a demon then, and I don't
even have any powers now.

- Is this the spell?
- Only if you want him to double in size...

And grow extra arms,
which... let's not.

And, by the way,
you weren't a demon...

When you turned Olaf
into lord of the hammers.

And you managed that.

Also, there's other ways
to hurt Xander.

I don't do magic now.

You're the one with
that kind of power.

In fact, d'hoffryn
offered you my old job.

You're closer to being a
vengeance demon than I am.

- Maybe Xander should be afraid of you.
- Xander's my best friend!

Oh, and you don't want
anyone else to have him.

I know what broke up him
and Cordelia, you know.

It was you
and your lips.

No, it was not!
Well, yes, it was so,

but that was
a long time ago.

- Do you think I'd do that again?
- Why not?

Well, hello? Gay now.

But you're always doing everything you can
to point out how much I'm an outsider.

You've known him since you were
squalling infants together.

You'll always know him better than I do.
You could sweep in...

And poison his mind against me.
You're insane.

I am not gonna
take him away,

and I am not gonna hurt him!
Well, I'm not either!

Aha!
I knew it!

You two performing
more spells.

I could be out pillaging,
devouring babies,

making merry with
the local virgins!

But instead, I had to come
all the way back here...

To kill you!
Anya, run!

No! Get away
from them!

I will get away from them...

- After I kill them.
- You are not touching these women.

Ah, you wish for more?
Admirable! Ha.

You fight well,

although you are
a tiny man.

I shall reward you.

Only one of your women
shall die,

and you shall be
the one to choose.

- Did he just say...
- Choose.

Anyanka or the witch...

One of your women must die.

No. You are
one crazy troll.

I'm not choosing between my
girlfriend and my best friend.

- That's insane troll logic.
- Go, Xander. I love you.

Good for you.

You are a loyal man.

Xander!

Now, choose!

- Olaf, no!
- I'm not choosing.

Then you shall be
the one who dies.

No!
Choose me!

Just don't take him.
Don't take Xander.

Damn.

- Buffy!
- Tara, stay back!

Buffy, the hammer!

His strength's
in the hammer!

Uhh!

How can I help?
Uh,

distract him from Buffy.
Uh, piss him off.

I don't know how. Anya,
I have faith in you.

There is no one
you cannot piss off.

Um, hey, Olaf!

- You're as inadequate a troll
as you were a boyfriend.

Uh, you-you...
You're hairy and unattractive,

and even the women trolls are
put off by your various odors.

Your menacing stance
is merely mildly alarming!

And your roar is less
than full-throated!

Desist!

My god, woman,
it's been a thousand years,

and yet you are
as aggravating...

And emasculating
as ever you were.

Aaargh!

Hey, good job. You too.
Very irritating.

So, your power's
in your hammer.

Oh, yeah! I forgot. He still
has all that troll strength.

You shall all die!

I will dispense
no mercy now!

What are you fighting for,
minuscule blonde one?

Your friends, these two?

They will never last.

Anyanka is very difficult
to live with,

and he...

He's ludicrous
and far too breakable.

Their love will never last.

She's got him now.

Oh, poor baby.

You really dated him?

Yes.

But you like me better. Yes.
Oh, and Willow likes you too,

but not in a sexy way,
you know, 'cause she's gay.

And she's not gonna try to break us
up, so, you know, it's all okay.

Their love... will last...

Forever!

Let the transposition
be complete.

Where did you send him?

The land of the trolls. He'll
like it there... full of trolls.

It's hard to be
precise though.

Alternate universes
don't stay put.

Trying to send him to a specific
place is sort of like... like...

Trying to hit a puppy by
throwing a live bee at it.

Which is a weird image, and you
should all just forget it.

It's possible that he's in the
land of perpetual Wednesday...

Or the crazy melty land or, you
know, the world without shrimp.

There's a world
without shrimp?

I'm allergic.

He's probably
in troll land.

I only care that
he's not here,

and I got this
nifty souvenir.

- Oops.
- - The place is trashed enough anyway.

Well, see how well
things worked out?

And look at you guys...

So good and alive
and together.

So together and good...

And alive.

Oh, god.

I'm... I'm just
so happy for you.

I cringe to think what the
place would've looked like...

If I'd been away
for longer than three days.

Well, maybe we would've
had time to clean it up.

You know, if Willow used
some magics to help.

Yes, 'cause nothing could
possibly go wrong with that.

Rupert, I still
don't understand...

Oh, thank you...
Why the other watchers...

Made you go
all the way to England...

When they don't know
anything.

Well, they don't
know it yet.

I mean, they have no record
of glory or anyone like her,

but, uh, based on the information
that I've given them,

they're going
to look into it.

Um, they might have
something soon.

What about the key?
Were they all over it?

Yes. You-you know
all of this?

I got some of it myself.
Buffy told me the rest.

Well, they're interested,
certainly,

and, uh, full of theories.

Most of them nonsensical.

They don't know
that it's dawn.

No.

I still can't even
begin to grasp this.

She's my
little girl.

It is disorienting.

Giles, what happens
if they figure it out?

What would they do?
I don't know.

Oh, I can't even
think about this.

It's too...

I'll get
some more milk.

Grr! Arrgh!