Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1996–2003): Season 5, Episode 1 - Buffy vs. Dracula - full transcript

The one-and-only Dracula makes his way to Sunnydale and immediately has everyone enchanted. Even Buffy might not be able to resist his charms.

Mmm...

Unh!
Aah!

Mmm.

♪ I don't think you know... ♪

Ha! Touchdown!
Oh, yeah.

Go, team me!

Heh.

♪ Just spin me around... ♪

Anybody ever told
team you

the quarterback
throws like a girl?

I do?



♪ I know that this is
deeper than you get ♪

Ohh! Uhh.

Oh, sorry.

No!
No, don't you!

No, no, no!

I'm exhausted just
looking at those two.

All this splashing and
jumping and running...

Shouldn't relaxing
involve less exertion?

Absolutely.

Exertion can lead
to sweatiness.

Which can cause the pain and
heartbreak of stinkiness.

Better to just stay put.

I think we've
just put our finger

on why we're
the sidekicks.



Game over?

Uh, Buffy slayed
the football.

Where's my burger?

Yeah, man,
I'm starving.

Cow me.

The fire's
not cooperating.

It's comforting
to know that I lack

the culinary finesse
of a caveman.

Ignis incende!

Willow, check you out.
Witch-fu.

It's no big.

You just have to balance
the elements,

so when you affect one,
you don't wind up causing...

Aah!

I didn't do it.
I didn't do it!

Aah! Aah!

Come on, hurry it up.
I'm gettin' soaked.

I'm tryin'.

Jeez,
this thing weighs...

Nice. Good job.

Look at this. Guy's
cartin' dirt around.

Leave it. We'll...
We'll turn it on its side.

Dirt? Man,
rich people are...

Aah... uhh.

There you go.
All set.

Thank you, Willow.

Obstinate bloody machine
simply refused to work for me.

Just call me
"the computer whisperer."

Let's get scannin'.
I want to see this puppy go.

Start with those.

Start?
Where is finish?

Willow, it's essential that
we begin to archive the library.

I mean, most of these texts
have no duplicates.

But... Now?

Doesn't winter seem more
like archiving season?

Well, you don't
have to, Willow.

I mean, you're welcome
to leave if, uh...

No. It's fine.

It's just you've been
Mr. project all summer.

You know?

Labeling the amulets
and indexing your diaries.

I draw the line at making
giant rubber band balls.

That's when you'll
just have to get a life.

That's what I'm trying
to do, actually,

is, um, get a life.

It might go better
if you left the house.

Willow, um...

You mustn't repeat
what I'm about to say...

Especially not to Buffy.

Uh-oh.

You promise?

Oh, god.

Well, I guess.

Now that I know there's
something to know,

I can't not know
just because I'm afraid

somebody will know
I know. You know?

Did that mean yes?

Yeah.

We're doing all this because
I want you and the others

to have everything you need
at your fingertips.

You see, I'm...
I'm going back to England.

You're... What?
But you can't.

You're...
Buffy's watcher.

I mean,
in a fired way, but...

Well, it's become
quite obvious

that Buffy doesn't
need me anymore.

And I don't say that
in a self-pitying way.

I'm... I'm quite proud,
actually.

But what about
the rest of us?

We still need
to be watched.

Personally, I can't
get through a day

without a little
hairy eyeball.

Heh.

Well, I appreciate
the sentiment,

but it's...
It's just not so.

You'll be fine.
You all will.

And you know,
we'll stay in touch.

You can always call me
whenever you like.

When are you
gonna tell Buffy?

Soon.

It won't be easy,
but, uh...

I know she'll understand.

Thanks, mom.
Everything was yummy.

Hey,
you up for dessert?

We could take a drive,
get some ice cream.

You know, I would, but I kinda
have to get out on patrol.

Now? It's 8:30.

Well, vamps don't really
care what time it is.

You know, dark equals
dinner bell.

Right. Of course.

You know, I'm gonna
have to get used to

this place
without you again.

It gets so quiet.

You know, maybe we should
make a regular date of this

when school starts.

Mmm.

I'm sorry.
Duty calls.

It's a total drag.

Uhh! Uhh! Unh!

Unh!

Aah! Ohh! Unh!

Ooh!

Yaah!

Very impressive hunt.

Such power.

That was no hunt.

That was just
another day on the job.

Care to step up
for some overtime?

We're not
going to fight.

Do you know
what a slayer is?

Do you?

Who are you?

I apologize.
I assumed you knew.

I am Dracula.

Get out.

Xand, what if
somebody had a secret,

and that somebody
promised somebody else

that they wouldn't
tell anyone?

News flash, will.
Everybody knows.

No, this isn't
about me and Tara.

Oh. Well, not that
I wouldn't be all ears

if you wanted to tell me
a secret about you two,

even if it was
very, very naughty.

Sorry. This is of
the non-naughty variety,

and I'm not telling you.

OK. Want to see if Buffy's
hanging around the headstones?

Sure.

So if I was gonna tell you,
which I'm not going to...

So let me
get this straight.

You're...

Dracula,

the guy, the count.

I am.

And you're sure this isn't
just some fanboy thing?

'Cause I've fought
more than a couple

pimply, overweight vamps
that called themselves Lestat.

You know who I am.

As I would know
without question

that you are
Buffy summers.

You've heard of me?

Naturally. You're known
throughout the world.

Nah. Really?

Why else
would I come here?

For the sun?

I came to meet
the renowned killer.

Yeah, I prefer
the term slayer.

You know, killer
just sounds so...

Naked?

Like I paint clowns
or something.

I'm the good guy,
remember?

Perhaps, but your power
is rooted in darkness.

You must feel it.

No.

You know what I feel?

Bored.

Unh!

Unh!

OK, that's cheating.

Hey, buff, what's up?

You look like
you just...

Get out of here. Now.

Fine, but I was gonna
give you a sip

of my double-mint mocha,
but...

Behind you.

Hi.

Nice.

Look who's got a bad case
of dark-prince envy.

I have no interest in you.

Leave us.

No, we're not going
to leave you.

And where'd you get that
accent, sesame street?

1, 2, 3... 3 victims.
Mwa ha ha ha!

Xander, I'm pretty sure
that's Dracula.

Wow. Really?

Hey, sorry, man.
I was...

Just jokin' around.

This is not the time.

I will see you soon.

Bat!

And then Buffy's all,
"look out!"

And then friggin' Dracula's
standing right behind us.

And then he lunges
at us, like, whoosh!

He totally looked shorter
in person.

I told you he'd
heard of me, right?

I mean,
can you believe that?

Count famous
heard of me.

I couldn't believe it the
first 20 times you told us,

but it's starting
to sink in now.

I'm sorry,
am I repeat-o girl?

I was just...
Blown away.

It's not that surprising
he's heard of you, Buffy.

You are the slayer.

I guess.

It was just the way
he said it, you know.

I mean, he made it
sound so...

Sexy? I bet
he made it sound sexy.

Kinda.

He of the dark, penetrating
eyes and lilty accent.

Xander: I wonder
if he knows Frankenstein.

You thought Dracula
was sexy?

Oh! No...

He... he was... Yuck.

Right, except for the whole
tall, dark, and handsome thing.

Yuck-o.

How would you know?

Well, we hung out
a few times.

Back in my demon days.
You know, once or twice.

He's pretty cool.

You know, from a whole
evil-thing perspective.

Please.
He was no big whoop.

Willow: No big whoop?
What about that thing

where he turned himself
into a bat?

That was awesome.

It must have been, yes.

I must admit,
I'm sorry I missed that.

Me, too. The whole
time, I was thinking,

"gosh, I wish Giles were here.
He'd know what to do."

Didn't you guys...
Think that?

Actually, I was
more thinking, "bat!"

How come he can do that?

I have no idea.

There's a great deal
of myth about Dracula.

I imagine the trick
to defeating him

lies in separating the
fact from the fiction.

Great point!
That is so Giles

to think of something
like that, you know?

That... that
we would have never...

So we should take things
slow with Dracula.

I mean, he said that
we would meet again,

but I would like to avoid that
until we do some serious homework.

I don't know.

I mean, he may have a bunch
of swell party tricks,

but he's still
just a vampire.

I say we load up
with stakes and crossbows

and go after him now.

Second.

No, Buffy's right.
Dracula's too slick

to fall for
the usual stuff.

We hold off. No killing until we know
exactly what we're dealing with.

You're not just
saying that

because of those dark, penetrating
eyes of his, are you?

No. His eyes were...

There were...
There was no penetration.

Cross my heart.

All right. Um, Willow,

you and Tara find out
everything you can

about the actual legend of Vlad
the impaler on the Internet,

and, uh,
I'll check the library.

If the initiative
was still around,

we'd be able to find everything
on this guy in a few hours.

We may not be as fast,
but we'll find him.

You guys, we'll reconvene
here in the morning.

What's your plan?

The big sleep.

My count encounter
wiped me out.

I'm kind of wired.

Maybe I should just
let you get your rest.

You sure?

I mean, maybe if you
just lie down with me...

Nothing you are about to
say will lead to rest.

I guess you're right.

I'll see you
in the morning?

Mm-hmm. With donuts.

Hmm. Heaven.

See? A little sugar,
and I'm all yours.

Dracula shmakula.

I doubt
he'd remember me.

I was just a silly young
thing, I mean, like 700 or so.

But he did say that this guy
I cursed was doomed forever,

which was really sweet,
don't you think?

Adorable.

It was a great spell.

I made this jerk incredibly
fat, like a human minivan.

You should just mention my
name if you see him again.

Or better yet, why don't you
just go sit on top of a crypt

and flaunt your neck cleavage
until Dracula shows up?

Then you two
can talk private.

Oh, please. Don't tell me
you're jealous?

Oh, no. Just because you're
panting over the guy.

I am not panting.

Now stop being silly.

I'll see you tomorrow.

You don't want to
come back to my place?

It's whites day,
remember?

The bleach smell
makes me nauseous.

Fine. I suppose Dracula
doesn't use bleach, huh?

He's a darks-only man.

Great.

Perfect.

You know what?

You're not so big.

One round of old-fashioned
fisticuffs,

I bet you'd fold
like a bitty baby.

OK, let's do it...

And no poofin'.

Come on,
puffy shirt.

Pucker on up, 'cause you
can kiss your pale ass...

Silence.

Yes, master.

No, that's not...

You will be my emissary,

my eyes and ears
in daylight.

Your emissary?

Serve me well.

You will be rewarded.

I will make you
an immortal...

A child of darkness
that feeds on life itself...

On blood.

Blood? Yes, yes!

I will serve you, your
excellent spookiness.

Or master. I'll just
stick with master.

You are strange
and off-putting.

Go now.

But, master,
how can I find...

Brilliant.
What an exit.

Guy's a genius. Heh.

Heh heh heh heh.

Well, well. You can take the
boy out of the initiative,

but you can't take the
initiative out of the boy.

I'd put that down,

unless you're bucking for
one hell of a headache.

I can't be too careful.

I got quite a few demons
after me these days.

I'm lookin' for
some information.

Might pay a little.

I'll play.

What can you tell me
about Dracula?

Dracula?

Poncy bugger owes me
£11, for one thing.

You know him?

Know him?
We're old rivals.

But then he got famous.

Forgot all about
his foes.

I'll tell you what...
That glory hound's

done more harm to
vampires than any slayer.

His story gets out, and suddenly
everybody knows how to kill us.

You know,
the mirror bit...

But he's not just
a regular vampire.

He has special
powers, right?

Nothin' but
showy gypsy stuff.

What's it to you,
anyway?

He's in town,
making his presence known.

Drac's in sunnydale-way?

I guess the old boy
needed closure after all.

Actually, he's
gunning for Buffy,

but I'm out to find him before
he gets another shot at her.

Tough talk, cowboy...

But you're not gonna catch
him napping in a crypt.

No. The count has to have
his luxury estate

and his bug-eaters and his
special dirt, doesn't he?

So you're saying I should check
out mansions, that sort of thing?

No.

I'm saying
you should go home

to your superhoney,

have a nice
safe snog.

You're out of your depth
on this one, boy.

You've helped
Buffy before,

so she has a problem with killing
you now that you're helpless.

I don't.

I'd like
to see you try.

Would you?

You're never
gonna find him.

Not before he gets to her.

You are magnificent.

I bet you say that before
you bite all the girls.

No. You are different.

Kindred.

Kindred? Hardly...

Pull your hair back.

This isn't
how I usually fight.

You think you can just waft in
here with your music-video wind

and your hypno-eyes...

I have searched
the world over for you.

I have yearned for you...

For a creature whose darkness
rivals my own.

You have been tasted.

He was...

Unworthy.

He let you go.

But the embrace...

His bite...

You remember.

No.

Do not fight.

I can feel your hunger.

Unh... Unh.

Here's a jelly one.
You want it?

No.

Got it. Got it!
Mine, mine.

Well, I think we have
Dracula factoids.

Like any of that's enough
to fight the dark master...

Bator.

A lot of it
we already knew.

Wood,
fire, crosses, garlic.

Nice duds, minions,

long, slow bites
that last for days.

Riley: Yeah, I did
a little research, too.

Dracula likes
to live in style.

Which means we can rule out the
usual dumps vampires haunt.

Ah, but he's smart
enough to figure

that we probably
already know that.

I'm guessin'
he's layin' low.

Actually, my research
backs Riley up.

Drac isn't
the lay-low type.

So we can check out
the nicer places.

Don't you think,
Buffy?

Buffy?

Yeah, we'll check all
the swanky places first.

What else
did you guys get?

Well, Willow has
most of it, actually.

Only because you gave me
super pointers.

I never would have...

Just... Go ahead, Willow.

OK. Dracula's
modus operandi

is different
from other vampires.

He will kill just to feed,

but he'd rather have a
connection with his victims,

and he has all of these
mental powers to draw them in.

He... he can read
and control minds,

appear in dreams.

Uh-huh.

Makes sense.

That stare...

He just kinda
looked right through you.

Didn't you feel it,
Buffy?

No.

No, I didn't.

See?! Buffy
didn't feel it.

I think you're drawing a lot of crazy
conclusions about the unholy prince!

Bator.

The point is, though he
goes through the motions

of an intimate seduction,

the end result
is the same...

He turns them into
a vampire.

Well, that is intimate.

Dracula's gifting these
ladies with his own blood.

And blood...

Blood is life.

According to them.

Uh, just be aware that

he tends to form a
relationship with his prey.

It's not enough for him
to take her.

She must want to be taken.
She must... Burn for him.

That's interesting.
I'm gonna go find him.

You shouldn't go
by yourself, Buffy.

I mean, this guy's
seriously dangerous.

It's cool. I got it.

Hey.

Take off that scarf.

What? No.

You're under the thrall
of the dark prince.

I am not under the thrall
of the dark prince.

Then take off the scarf.

Oh, let go of me!
This is ridiculous.

Giles: Well, why didn't
she say anything?

'Cause she didn't want to
worry us, right, buffster?

It's nothin'.
Just a scratch.

2 deep,
puncture-y scratches.

I'm not sure why
I tried to hide it.

Uh, there was
just this voice,

and it was telling me
to cover it.

And what did I tell you?

That's thrall.

You're saying Dracula
has some sort of

freaky mind control
over her?

You're watchin' too many
creature features, man.

Buffy: But it does seem like
he has this control over me,

even though a big part
of me is resisting.

No, that's OK.

I... i shouldn't
take this personally.

I mean,
what with angel,

I mean, it's understandable that
there would be transference.

I mean, they're both
broody immortals.

I am not transferring.

I swear to you...

I'm your girl, and I'm
gonna stay that way.

OK, but you are not going
anywhere near him again.

Riley's right. You should
stay out of sight.

Let the rest of us
look for Dracula.

I can't go home. He
already got inside once.

You can come over
to my place.

I'll make sure
you stay put.

Good.
Riley and I can...

Can search
for Dracula.

Willow, you and Tara could do a
protection spell at Buffy's house

to prevent him
from returning.

Got it. How'd he
get inside, anyway?

He seemed
so nice and normal...

A little pale.

A good sunnydale
rule of thumb...

Avoid white-skinned
men in capes.

I'm not like this. I don't invite
strange men over for coffee.

It's just...

Oh, when you girls are
older, you'll understand.

It's hard to date.

Sometimes you just feel like
giving up on men altogether.

Another bust.

And it's getting dark.

I should have turned up
a better lead.

There must be an easier
way to find him.

Ah, too late to worry
about that now.

If we hurry, we can
hit these last places.

So how come I have
to be here slayer-sitting

while the other guys
get to look for Dracula?

I mean, just because I'm...

What time is it?

Uh, almost 6:00.

Look, I mean,
I'm the one who knows him.

I'm the one who had
a really good look at him,

and so, I mean...
What? Hey, what? Hey!

I'm supposed to deliver
you to the master now.

There's this whole deal
where I get to be immortal.

You cool with that?

Take me to him.

Anya: Come on, Xander. This isn't funny.
Let me out!

Master?

I delivered the slayer.

She who you most desire.

Sorry. Whom.

So now comes
the immortality, right?

You do the thing and...

Leave us.

We must not
be interrupted.

You bet.

I knew you'd come.

Why?

Because I'm under
your thrall?

Well, guess again, pal.

Put the stake down.

OK.

Right.

That was not you.

I did that.

I did that because...
I wanted to.

Maybe I should rethink
that thrall thing.

Ohh...

I've lived in sunnydale
a couple of years now.

Know what I've
never noticed before?

Uh, a castle?

A big, honking castle.

Stay away from me.

Are you afraid
I will bite you?

Slayer, that's
why you came.

No. Last night...

It's not gonna
happen again.

Stop me.

Stake me.

I...Any minute now.

Do you know why
you cannot resist?

'Cause you're famous?

Because you
do not want to.

My friends are...

They're here.

They will not find us.

We are alone...

Always alone.

There is so much
I have to teach you.

Your history,
your power,

what your body
is capable of.

I don't need to know.

You long to...

And you will have eternity
to discover yourself.

But first...

A little taste.

I won't let you.

I didn't mean for me.

Nobody harms my master.

Your master?

You want him?

You come through me.

Okey-dokey.

Haii!

Oh, good show, Giles.

Oh, at least you didn't
get knocked out

for a change.

Oh, oh...

Oh, ladies.

You would be
the 3 sisters, yes?

Excellent. Right.

Uh, I'd heard that
you were myth...

Obviously erroneous.

Oh! Uh, uh...

Ooh, that's...

That's...

Tickles.

Ooh, oh, uh...

Oh, dear god.

What are you...

All these years
fighting us,

your power so near
to our own...

And you've never once
wanted to know

what it is
we fight for?

Never even a taste?

If I drink that...

I have not drunk enough
for you to change.

You must be near death
to become one of us,

and that comes only
when you plead for it.

I'm not hungry.

No. You're craving
goes deeper than that.

You think you know...

What you are,
what's to come.

You haven't even begun.

Find it.

The darkness.

Find your true nature.

Unh! Hyah!

Wow.

That was gross.

You are resisting.

Looks like.

Come here...

Come to me.

You know, I really
think the thrall

has gone out
of our relationship.

But I want
to thank you

for opening up
my eyes a little.

What is this?

My true nature.

You want a taste?

Unh.

Buffy, are you in...

Giles, Giles!

Come on, come on.
Grab my hand.

Thank god you came.

Come on!

There was no
possible escape.

OK.

Oh, my shoe.

Silly me,
I'll just pop...

No, no, no, sir!

No more chick pit
for you. Come on.

A guy like you should
think about going electric.

Seriously.

Aah!

How do you like
my darkness now?

Buffy.

You OK?

Yeah.

Chock full
of free will.

And Dracula?

Eurotrashed.

Where is he?

Where's the creep
that turned me

into a spider-eating
man-bitch?

He's gone.

Damn it!

You know what?

I'm sick of this crap.

I'm sick of being
the guy who eats insects

and gets
the funny syphilis.

As of this moment,
it's over.

I'm finished being
everybody's butt monkey.

Check.

No more
butt monkey.

It could
have been worse.

At least you
weren't making time

with the dracubabes
like Giles here.

I was not
making time.

I... i was just about to kill
those uh, loathsome creatures

when Riley
interrupted me.

Really?

You were gonna
nuzzle 'em to death?

Of course not.
I was in complete...

Control.

You think I don't
watch your movies?

You always come back.

I'm standing right here.

Buffy: You wanted
to see me?

Yes. Thanks for coming.

Can I offer you
some tea?

Oh, no, thanks.

Ooh, cookies.

How come I rate little
cookie treatment?

Well, actually, I have
something to tell you.

Actually, I have
something that

I'd like to talk
to you about, too.

Well, you go first,
by all means.

No. Go ahead.

No, I insist.

You haven't been
my watcher for a while.

I haven't
been training...

And I haven't
really needed

to come to you
for help.

I agree.

And then this whole
thing with Dracula...

It made me face up
to some stuff.

Ever since
we did that spell

where we called on
the first slayer...

I've been
going out a lot.

Every night.

Patrolling?

Hunting.

That's what Dracula
called it,

and he was right.

He understood my power
better than I do.

He saw darkness in it.

I need to know more...

About where I come from,
about the other slayers.

I mean, maybe...

Maybe if I can learn
to control this thing,

I could be stronger,
I could be better.

But I'm scared.

I know it's
gonna be hard.

And I can't do it...

Without you.

I need your help.

I need you to be
my watcher again.

Boy, I just... i just
keep talking, don't I?

I'm sorry. You... you had
something you wanted to say.

No.

It's nothing.

I'm out of here.

Riley and I are going
to the movies.

OK. Have a good time.

What are you doing here?

Buffy?

If you're going out,

why don't you
take your sister?

Mom!
Mom!

Captioned by the national
captioning institute