Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1996–2003): Season 1, Episode 3 - Witch - full transcript
Buffy suspects she has a witch on her hands when the cheerleading squad falls victim to sudden blindness and spontaneous combustion.
In every generation,
there is a chosen one.
She alone will stand
against the vampires,
the demons and
the forces of darkness.
She is the slayer.
This is madness.
What can you
have been thinking?
You are the slayer.
Lives depend upon you.
I make allowances
for your youth,
but I expect a certain amount
of responsibility,
instead of which you enslave
yourself to this... this...
Cult?
You don't like
the color?
I don't...
Do you, um...
Do you ignore everything
I say as a rule?
No. I believe
that's your trick.
I told you, I'm trying out
for the cheerleading squad.
You have a sacred
birthright, Buffy.
You were chosen
to destroy vampires,
not to...
Wave pompoms at people.
And as the watcher,
I forbid it.
And you'll be
stopping me how?
Well, I...
By appealing to
your common sense,
if such a creature
exists.
I will still have time to
fight the forces of evil, OK?
I just...
Want to have a life.
I want to do
something normal.
Something safe.
Giles didn't
approve, huh?
He totally lost his water.
We haven't seen a vampire
in over a week.
I'd say he should
get a girlfriend
if he wasn't so old.
Well, we're
behind you.
People scoff at things
like school spirit,
but look at these girls
giving their all like this.
Ooh, stretchy.
Where was I?
You were pretending
that seeing
scantily clad girls
in revealing postures
was a spiritual
experience.
Who said I was
pretending?
Oh, hey.
Here's a good luck thing
for tryouts.
What's this?
What's that?
Well, how sweet.
"Yours always."
It came that way, really.
They all said that.
Just look at that Amber.
Who does she think
she is, a Laker girl?
I heard
she turned them down.
OK, listen up.
Let's begin with...
Amber grove.
If you're not auditioning,
move off the floor.
Amy! Hi.
Hi.
I didn't know you wanted
to be a cheerleader.
You lost
a lot of weight.
Had to.
Do you know
Buffy?
Hi.
Hi.
Oh, how I hate this.
Let me count the ways.
She trained with Benson.
He's one of the best
coaches money can buy.
They have
cheerleading coaches?
Oh, yeah.
Don't you have?
I train with my mom:
3 hours in the morning,
3 at night.
Hmm. That much quality time
with my mom
would probably lead
to some quality matricide.
Oh, I know it's hokey,
but she's really great.
Hmmph.
♪ Yay ♪
♪ Yay ♪
What the...
♪ One more time ♪
♪ Yay ♪
That girl's on fire!
Enough with
the hyperbole.
It's OK. It's OK.
You're gonna be OK.
Oh, god.
I've been slaying vampires
for more than a year now,
and I have seen some
pretty cringe-worthy things,
but nobody's hands
ever got toasted before.
I imagine not.
So... This isn't
a vampire problem.
No.
But it is funky, right?
Not of the norm?
Quite.
Spontaneous human
combustion is rare
and scientifically
unexplainable.
But there have been cases
for hundreds of years.
Usually all that's left
is a pile of ashes.
That's all that
would've been left
if it hadn't been
for Buffy.
So we have no idea
what caused this?
That's a comfort.
But that's the thrill of
living on the hellmouth.
There's a veritable
cornucopia of fiends
and devils and ghouls
to engage.
Well, pardon me for finding
the glass half full.
Any common denominators in cases
of spontaneous combustion?
Uh, rage.
In most cases,
the person who combusted
was terribly angry
or upset.
So maybe Amber's
got this power
to make herself
be on fire.
It's like the human torch,
only it hurts.
I need to get the skinny
on Amber.
Find out if she's had any
colorful episodes before.
That means
hacking illegally
into the school's
computer system.
At last,
something I can do.
I'll ask around
about her.
You guys don't have
to get involved.
What do you mean?
We're a team.
Aren't we a team?
Yeah. You're the slayer,
and we're, like,
the slayerettes.
I just don't like putting
you guys in danger.
Oh, ha! I laugh in
the face of danger.
Then I hide until
it goes away.
OK.
Just... Walk softly,
at least until we know
a little more.
I mean, what if Amber isn't
causing these problems herself?
Well, then
we have to determine
who... Or what did
and, uh, deal with it
accordingly.
Hey.
Hi. How was school?
Mmm. A reverent joy.
What's all this?
It's for the tribal
art display.
Cool.
We had tryouts today.
Oh, great. How'd it go?
I didn't actually
get to try out.
There was an accident.
Pretty fierce
competition, though.
Oh, I know you'll do fine.
Keep on pluggin'.
Just have to get
back on the horse.
Hey, mom?
Yeah?
What was
I trying out for?
Oh, uh...
Some activity?
I have no idea.
I'm sorry.
That's OK.
Your platitudes are good
for all occasions.
I'm distracted.
I got a lot of inventory
to go through here.
This is my gallery's
first major show.
You know, it might not
physically kill you
to give me a hand here.
It was cheerleading.
Oh, good!
I'm glad you're
taking that up again.
It'll keep you
out of trouble.
I'm not in trouble.
No, not yet.
I mean, you stopped cheerleading
just before the trouble,
so it's good
you're going back.
Oh, dear.
What?
The fertility statue...
You don't need
to see it.
You know, there's
this girl Amy, and, um,
she trains with her mom,
like, 3 hours a day.
Uh-huh.
It sounds like her mom's
pretty into it.
It sounds like her mom
doesn't have a lot to do.
Jeepers.
Despite the terrible thing
that happened yesterday,
we still have to pick
new cheerleaders.
If you make the team,
you'll find your names
posted in the quad after lunch.
Let's begin
with group performance.
Why do my hands
have to sweat
when I get nervous?
Don't worry.
You'll do great.
5, 6, 7, 8!
Sunnydale!
Sunnydale, we never fail!
Never fail!
Jump and shoot,
swish and score!
The other team
is such a bore!
Yeah!
You saw that, right?
That wasn't me.
You saw that, right?
Right?
That's my mom.
No.
"Catherine Madison."
Get down
with your bad self.
Her nickname
was Catherine the great.
She took that team and made
them tri-county champions.
You know, no one's
ever done that before...
Or since.
She and my dad were
homecoming king and queen.
They got married
right after graduation.
That's kind of romantic.
Well,
he was a big loser.
Never made any money.
Ran off with miss trailer
trash when I was 12.
OK, that part's
less romantic.
My folks split up, too.
Drag, huh?
He left my mom
with nothing.
She put herself through
cosmetology school.
Bought me everything
I ever wanted
and never once gained
a single pound.
Uh, she sounds
really great, Amy, but, um...
It doesn't mean that
you need to lock step
as far as this
cheerleading thing.
She was the best,
and I can't get my body
to move like hers.
I choked in there
so bad.
No, Amy, you did fine.
I'm going to get changed.
Wait. No, a...
Hey, Amy.
Is she OK?
No. She's wigging
about her mom,
the big cheer queen
back when.
Yeah, her mom's kind of...
Nazi-like?
Heil.
If she gains an ounce,
she padlocks the fridge
and won't eat anything
but broth.
So mommie dearest is really...
Mommie dearest.
There's a bitter streak,
but Amy's nice.
We used to hang
in junior high.
When her mom would
go on a broth kick,
Amy would come over
to my house,
and we'd stuff ourselves
with brownies.
Hey, any word on Amber?
Nothing thrilling.
Average student, got
detention once for smoking.
Regular smoking...
With a cigarette,
not, like, being smoky.
All pretty normal.
So we just have to wait
and see what happens.
Maybe nothing will.
I have a dream.
It's me
on the cheerleading squad,
adored by every
varsity male
as far as
the eye can see.
We have to achieve
our dreams, Amy.
Otherwise,
we wither and die.
Look, I'm sorry about...
Shh!
If your supreme klutziness
out there today
takes me out
of the running,
you're going to be
so very beyond sorry.
Have a nice day.
I told Buffy about Amber.
Cool.
Was she wearing it?
The bracelet, she was
wearing it, right?
It's pretty much
like we're going out.
Except without
the hugging or kissing
or her knowing about it.
So I'm just a figure
of fun.
I should ask her out,
right?
Won't know
until you ask.
That's why you're so cool.
You're like a guy.
You're my guy friend that
knows about girl stuff.
Oh, great. I'm a guy.
Oh, hey, they're
posting the list.
I can't take this.
Yes!
Cover me.
I'm going in.
You're lucky.
I made it?
I made it.
One of those girls
hit me really hard.
They should test
for steroids.
OK, not only
did you make the team,
but you, miss summers,
are the first alternate,
and Amy's number 3.
What a better way
to celebrate
than with a romantic
drive through...
Xander, alternates are the
ones who didn't make the team.
They only fill in if something
happens to the ones who did.
Excuse me.
For I am Xander,
king of cretins.
May all lesser cretins
bow before me.
At least it's over.
And you know what I think
we should do about it?
Brownie pig-out,
my house, after school.
Just how many more hours
a day can I practice?
How much more can I do?
This would never have
happened to my mother.
Never.
Give me the power.
Give me the dark.
I call on you,
laughing gods.
Let your blackness crawl
beneath my skin.
Accept thy sacrifice...
Cordelia.
Feed on her.
Look what I found.
It's my yearbook
from junior year.
Oh, look.
There I am.
Mom, I've accepted
that you've had sex.
I am not ready to know
that you had Farrah hair.
This is gidget hair.
Don't they teach you
anything in history?
Well, it's really cool,
but I gotta book.
Well, I was thinking.
I know the cheerleading
thing didn't work out.
Maybe you should think about
joining the yearbook staff.
I did it.
It was a lot of fun.
Not really my tip, mom.
I was photo editor.
I got to be
on every page.
Made me look much more
popular than I was.
Have you seen the kids
that do yearbook?
Nerds pick on them.
Some of the best times
I had in school
were working
on the yearbook.
Well, this just in...
I'm not you.
I'm into my own thing.
Your own thing,
whatever it is,
got you kicked out of school,
and we had to move here
to find a decent school
that would take you.
Honey.
Oh, great parenting form.
A little shaky
on the dismount.
Cordelia, you haven't
been mean to me all day.
Is it something
I've done?
OK, see how she has no clue
that I'm even a mammal,
much less a human being?
I see that.
This is the invisible
man syndrome,
a blessing in Cordelia’s
case, a curse in Buffy's.
You're not invisible
to Buffy.
It's worse. I'm just a
part of the scenery,
like an old shoe
or a rug that you
walk on every day
but don't even
really see.
Like a pen
that's all chewed up,
and you know you
should throw it away,
but you don't,
not 'cause you
like it so much more,
'cause you're
just used to it...
Well, yeah,
that is the point.
You don't have to drive
it through my head
like a railroad spike.
I'm going to take
your advice
and not beat
around the bush.
Or I could be wrong.
Maybe you should
beat around the bush more.
No. I got to be a man
and ask her out.
I got to stop
giving her I.D. Bracelets,
subtle innuendoes,
taking Polaroids outside
of her bedroom window
late at night.
That last part is a joke
to relieve the tension
because here
she comes.
OK, into battle I go.
Would you ask her out
for me?
No. Man. Me battle.
Buffy.
Would you like to...
Is that even
Cordelia’s locker?
Huh?
Oh, I don't know.
What I'm saying is
accompany me Friday night.
I have to, um...
We can pick this up later.
You don't mind, do you?
Nice of you
to join us, Cordelia.
We didn't keep you waiting
or anything, did we?
It's your turn to drive.
OK, people,
let's buckle up.
I don't want to drive
today, Mr. pole.
You've flunked driver's ed.
Twice already.
Show me some moves, or you'll
be taking the bus to college.
OK, check the brake.
Check the mirror.
Start the engine.
Hello?
Put the car in drive.
Let's move forward
through the cones
with a gentle,
even turn to the...
Aah!
Oh!
Slow down.
Slow... slow! Turn right!
Aah!
Slow down!
Brakes! Brakes!
Brakes!
Everybody out!
Aah!
Oh, my god! I can't
see anything!
Oh, god.
What's happening?
I can't see anything.
Witchcraft.
Blinding your enemy to disorient
and disable them is... it's classic.
First vampires,
now witches.
No wonder you can still
afford a house in Sunnydale.
Why should someone
want to harm Cordelia?
Maybe because
they met her?
Did I say that?
And setting
Amber ablaze?
Yeah. Those guys
don't hang.
They're both
cheerleaders.
Someone doesn't
like cheerleading?
Or likes it
too much.
Amy.
Amy.
So you guys are
leaning towards Amy.
She's desperate
to get on that team,
and I've had this feeling
she'd do just about anything
to make her mom's
dream come true.
Let me make sure
I have this right.
This witch is casting horrible
and disfiguring spells
so that she can
become a cheerleader?
I think you're underestimating
the amount of pressure
a parent can lay on you.
If you're not a picture-perfect
carbon copy, they tend to wig.
Cheerleading was kind of
her mom's last hurrah.
Look, we still
have to stop Amy.
We should
grab her and...
I think we should be sure
she's the witch
before we arouse
her suspicions.
She's capable of some very
unpleasant things.
OK, all right, so you're
in high school.
You are desperate to make the
team and please your mom,
so you turn
to witchcraft.
What's the first thing
you're gonna do?
Check out the books
on witchcraft.
Uh... no!
That would be
the last thing you would do.
You don't want to leave
a paper trail.
Forget that.
It'll just take a minute.
We don't have a minute!
Cheerleaders are in danger.
Buffy's in danger.
You were the first alternate.
You are on the team
now that Cordelia’s out.
You could be next.
We gotta get you
to a safe house.
Xander...
Yeah.
Historic roots
to modern practices."
Checked out
by Alexander Harris.
"The pagan rites."
Checked out by
Alexander...
All right.
All right.
It's not what
you think.
You like to look at
the semi-nude engravings?
Oh, well, uh...
I... I guess it is
what you think.
Have you quite finished?
We have to find
a conclusive test.
There may be
something in here.
Yes, this should do it.
You'll need
some of her hair...
A little quicksilver,
and... Some aqua fortis.
Well, that's just Mercury
and nitric acid.
You can get that
in the science lab.
"Heat ingredients
and apply to witch.
"If a spell has been cast
in the previous 48 hours,
the witch's skin
turns blue."
Oh, dear.
Only you'll need
some eye of newt.
Those of you in track one may
begin your dissections...
Now.
Those of you in track two,
take your hydrochloric acid
and your ammonium hydroxide
and carefully... Pour them
into... Your beakers.
Now slow... Slow.
I can't.
Counting one...
And being safe.
And you get...
Eye of newt.
That.
How's Buffy doing
with the hair?
Isn't this exciting?
Oh, yeah.
Amy, help me.
Um, which is
the hydrochloric acid,
and which is
the ammonium hydroxide?
Well, the bottle that
says "hydrochloric acid"
is usually
the hydrochloric acid.
Read the bottles.
What a concept.
Oops.
Wave hi to
the nice little witch.
All set.
Do you have a plan?
Spill it on her,
try and make it look natural.
We're right behind you,
only... Further back.
Lishanne,
can you tell me
why these chemicals
have this reaction?
Lishanne?
Are you...
Oh, my god.
Did you see? Amy was as freaked
out as the rest of us.
So it's not her?
The test was positive.
She's our Sabrina.
I just don't think
she realizes what she's doing.
Well, should we
talk to her?
I think we should
talk to her mother.
I wonder if she knows
what she's created.
Where are you?
Another productive day
in front of the TV?
I got a history report
due tomorrow.
Write it.
I should be
on that team by now.
Instead, miss Buffy and
friends are sneaking around,
stealing bits
of my hair.
I'll be upstairs.
Oh!
Oops.
♪ Macho, macho man ♪
♪ I want to be
a macho man ♪
♪ macho... ♪
Ooh, hey, juice.
Mmm.
Quality juice.
Not from concentrate.
You're in a good mood.
I am. I'm on the squad,
which is great
'cause I feel like cheering
and leading others to cheer.
Ooh. Hey, juice.
Listen, honey,
about yesterday...
Mmm. That is
totally yester.
Besides, it's not like
you were wrong, y'know?
I did get kicked
out of school.
I'm just wacky that way.
Still, I just want you
to know that,
despite the problems
you've had...
Mom, you just
don't get it.
And, believe me,
you don't want it.
You know, there are just some
things about being a vampire slayer
that the older
generation...
A what?
It's a... Long story.
Buffy, are you
feeling well?
What? Oh, I'm... I'm fine,
y'know?
What, I can't be
in a good mood?
Like, a new house rule?
Fine.
Y'know,
I'm just fine, fine, fine,
'cause ♪ I'm a macho,
macho man ♪
♪ I want to be
a macho man ♪
♪ macho, macho man ♪
♪ I want to be... ♪
5, 8, 7, 8!
Turn up the music!
Ow!
Get it together, Buffy!
We have a game
in less than 4 hours.
Willow! Xander!
My buds are here!
I love my buds!
Hi!
Hi... Oh...
Is it me, or is Buffy
a bit looped?
We'd better get her
out of there.
Yeah. Before she...
Aah!
Hurts someone.
Did I do that?
You are so out of here.
It's not her fault!
She's on medication.
Obviously not enough.
Who's our next
alternate?
Oh...
Amy, you just
made cheerleader.
No, no, no,
you don't want her.
She's a...
Wiiii...
A wise choice, indeed.
She's a witchy.
Buffy.
I just got kicked off
the team, didn't I?
I don't think
it was your fault.
Mmm. I know you don't. That's
'cause you're my friend.
You're my Xander-shaped
friend.
Do you have any idea
why I love you so, Xander?
We gotta get her to a...
Let her speak.
I'll tell you.
You're not like other boys
at all.
You are totally and completely
one of the girls.
I'm that comfy with him.
That's great.
Any other guy who would
give me a bracelet,
they'd... Wanna date me
and be like a...
Oh...
I... I don't... Feel so good.
Buffy?
We've gotta get her
to a hospital!
They can't help her.
This is a bloodstone
vengeance spell.
Hits the body hard
like a quart of alcohol,
and then it eradicates
the immune system.
Vengeance spell, like she's
trying to get even with Buffy?
'Cause she knows
I know she's a witch.
The others she just wanted
out of the running.
You she intends to, um...
Kill.
How much time
do we have?
Oh, uh, i-I'm sure, uh...
The truth.
Please.
A couple of hours...
3 at the most.
Well, how do we
reverse the spell?
Well, i-I've been
researching that,
and, um, we can reverse
all the spells
if, um, we can just lay our
hands on... on Amy's spell book.
And if we can't
get a hold of it?
Well, the other way is to, uh,
cut the witch's head off.
Show of hands.
It's not Amy's fault.
She only became a witch
to survive her mother.
Look, I don't care why. I just
care that you go on breathing.
Giles, where would she
be casting these spells?
Well, she needs
a sacred space.
A pentagram,
a large pot.
Her home.
OK. Help me up.
We'll just...
Go to her house,
and we'll get her book.
OK. We'll go with you.
Uh, no.
You guys stay here
and keep an eye on Amy.
And keep her away
from the science lab.
We'll need it to cast
our counterspells.
Who are you? What, um, uh...
Is there something wrong?
Mrs. Madison, we need to talk
to you about your daughter.
I'm not allow... you'll
have to come back later.
Excuse me.
What?!
You all right?
Um, in here.
Your daughter is meddling with
something very dangerous.
Are you aware of that?
I don't know what
you're talking about.
Oh, I think you know
only too well.
You've got to go.
She's gonna
be home soon, and...
This girl is very sick.
Now you will shut up,
and you will listen to me.
Your daughter has access
to some very powerful magic.
Somehow, your obsession
with cheerleading...
I don't care
about cheerleading!
It's not my fault
she's doing stuff.
As her mother, you should assume
some responsibility for her actions.
Ha ha!
Well... You know,
these kids today...
She's out of her mind.
Ever since dad...
Her dad left,
I can't control her.
You're afraid of her.
Amy?
Are you Amy?
I don't understand.
She switched.
She switched your bodies,
didn't she?
Good lord.
She wanted to relive
her glory days.
She said I was
wasting my youth.
So she took it.
I didn't know anything
about her powers.
When my dad was here,
they would fight and yell,
and he would
call her a witch.
And, I mean, I just
thought he meant...
Oh, god, when he left,
I wanted to go with him.
But she wouldn't even
let me call.
She went crazy.
I mean, she'd lock herself
upstairs for days,
and she was always
coming down on me,
and telling me I didn't deserve
to have it so easy
and that I didn't know
how hard it was to be her...
I guess she showed me, huh?
Amy, it's gonna be OK.
A few months ago...
I woke up in her... her bed.
I didn't know
where I was, and...
Then I looked in the mirror.
She locked herself upstairs?
Yes.
Where?
Don't! If she finds out I've
been here, she'll kill me.
My god.
I believe we can reverse
your mother's spell.
Well, all of them,
in fact.
You could?
Really? You could?
We need to find
her books.
There'd be specific...
Volumes she'd need
for this kind
of casting.
Collect those dolls
and, uh,
any other personal...
Nice... Kitty.
Let's see what
you were guarding.
Ah, yes.
This is it.
Did we find?
We found.
Come on.
Where are you going?
We're going to school.
And you're coming with us.
I'm going to stop this.
I promise.
You just hang on.
Oh...
How is she?
We only have
a few minutes left.
Go, Sunnydale, go!
Go, Sunnydale, go!
Go! 6, 7, 8...
Go, Sunnydale, go!
Go, Sunnydale, go!
Go, Sunnydale, go!
Go! 6, 7, 8...
Go, Sunnydale, go!
Go, Sunnydale, go!
Go, Sunnydale, go!
Go! 6, 7, 8...
Go, Sunnydale, go!
Go, Sunnydale, go!
Go, Sunnydale, go!
Go!
Right.
Here we go.
The center is dark.
Centrum est obscurus.
The darkness breathes.
Tenebrae respiratis.
The listener hears.
Hear me!
Go! 1, 2, 3, 4,
5, 6, 7, 8!
1, 2, 3...
1, 2, 3, 4, 5,
6, 7, 8!
Oh, it's... it's working!
Unlock the gate.
Let the darkness shine.
Cover us with holy fear.
Show me...
Amy, what's your problem?
She's coming!
Amy.
Get out of my way!
W-wait. I... I need
to talk to you.
I... I can help you.
Help me?
With what?
Well... well, you know,
uh, your witchcraft?
I... I know this really
good cauldron.
Do you actually
ride a broom?
Xander!
Corsheth and gilail...
The gate is closed.
Receive the dark.
Release the unworthy.
Take of mine energy
and be sated!
Be sated.
Release the unworthy.
Release!
Release!
Release!
Buffy?
Amy?
You... you...
You...
You little brat.
Mom... Please...
How dare you raise
your hand to your mother?
I gave you birth.
I gave up my life so you could
drag that worthless carcass around
and call it living?
You've never been
anything but trouble.
I'm going to put you where you
can't make trouble again.
Guess what?
I feel better.
That body was mine.
Mine!
Oh, grow up.
Unh!
I shall look
upon my enemy...
I shall look upon her,
and the dark place
will have her soul.
Corsheth, take her!
Hyah!
Aah!
Well... well, that was, um...
Interesting.
You guys OK?
I'm fine.
I assume, the, uh...
All the spells
were reversed.
It was my first casting,
so, uh...
I may have got it wrong.
You saved my life.
You were a god.
Well, I didn't think
you'd pull it off.
I got her! I got her!
Cut her head off!
Xander, what are you doing?
Saving you?
Get your hands off of her.
But she's evil.
It wasn't exactly her.
I was my mom.
Oh.
Where is she?!
Uh, hey, Willow,
it's cool.
It is?
Yeah.
I took care of it.
I don't get it.
What?
I've been doing a lot
of thinking about...
Where you're coming from,
how to relate to you.
And I've come to a very
simple conclusion.
I don't get it.
I'm inscrutable, huh?
You're 16.
I think there's
a... a biological imperative
whereby I can't understand
you because I'm not 16.
Do you ever wish
you could be 16 again?
Oh, that's
a frightful notion.
Go through
all that again?
Not even if it helped me
understand you.
I love you, mom.
I don't get it.
My dad is so impossible.
He doesn't ever want me
going anywhere!
He wants to spend total
quantity time together.
And I'm like, "dad, I can go out.
It's perfectly safe."
But he's got all this guilt
about leaving me with my mom,
and he's being
a total pain.
You're loving it.
Every single minute.
This Saturday night, he wants
to stay in and make brownies...
Well, the brownies
were my idea.
Hey, I'm really sorry you guys
got bumped back to alternate.
Hold it. Wait.
No, I'm not.
Well, I know I'll miss
the intellectual thrill
of spelling out words
with my arms.
Ooh.
These grapes are sour.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I forgot that you wanted
to be on the squad.
Oh, hey, that's OK.
Cheerleading's just a little
too hairy for me these days.
That's for sure.
Catherine the great.
And there's been
no sign of her?
That last spell, she said I'd
never make trouble again.
Wherever she is, I don't
think we'll have to worry.
Twisted.
I'm just happy
to have my body back.
I'm thinking
of getting fat.
You know, I hear
that look's in for spring.
Grrr! Arrgh!
there is a chosen one.
She alone will stand
against the vampires,
the demons and
the forces of darkness.
She is the slayer.
This is madness.
What can you
have been thinking?
You are the slayer.
Lives depend upon you.
I make allowances
for your youth,
but I expect a certain amount
of responsibility,
instead of which you enslave
yourself to this... this...
Cult?
You don't like
the color?
I don't...
Do you, um...
Do you ignore everything
I say as a rule?
No. I believe
that's your trick.
I told you, I'm trying out
for the cheerleading squad.
You have a sacred
birthright, Buffy.
You were chosen
to destroy vampires,
not to...
Wave pompoms at people.
And as the watcher,
I forbid it.
And you'll be
stopping me how?
Well, I...
By appealing to
your common sense,
if such a creature
exists.
I will still have time to
fight the forces of evil, OK?
I just...
Want to have a life.
I want to do
something normal.
Something safe.
Giles didn't
approve, huh?
He totally lost his water.
We haven't seen a vampire
in over a week.
I'd say he should
get a girlfriend
if he wasn't so old.
Well, we're
behind you.
People scoff at things
like school spirit,
but look at these girls
giving their all like this.
Ooh, stretchy.
Where was I?
You were pretending
that seeing
scantily clad girls
in revealing postures
was a spiritual
experience.
Who said I was
pretending?
Oh, hey.
Here's a good luck thing
for tryouts.
What's this?
What's that?
Well, how sweet.
"Yours always."
It came that way, really.
They all said that.
Just look at that Amber.
Who does she think
she is, a Laker girl?
I heard
she turned them down.
OK, listen up.
Let's begin with...
Amber grove.
If you're not auditioning,
move off the floor.
Amy! Hi.
Hi.
I didn't know you wanted
to be a cheerleader.
You lost
a lot of weight.
Had to.
Do you know
Buffy?
Hi.
Hi.
Oh, how I hate this.
Let me count the ways.
She trained with Benson.
He's one of the best
coaches money can buy.
They have
cheerleading coaches?
Oh, yeah.
Don't you have?
I train with my mom:
3 hours in the morning,
3 at night.
Hmm. That much quality time
with my mom
would probably lead
to some quality matricide.
Oh, I know it's hokey,
but she's really great.
Hmmph.
♪ Yay ♪
♪ Yay ♪
What the...
♪ One more time ♪
♪ Yay ♪
That girl's on fire!
Enough with
the hyperbole.
It's OK. It's OK.
You're gonna be OK.
Oh, god.
I've been slaying vampires
for more than a year now,
and I have seen some
pretty cringe-worthy things,
but nobody's hands
ever got toasted before.
I imagine not.
So... This isn't
a vampire problem.
No.
But it is funky, right?
Not of the norm?
Quite.
Spontaneous human
combustion is rare
and scientifically
unexplainable.
But there have been cases
for hundreds of years.
Usually all that's left
is a pile of ashes.
That's all that
would've been left
if it hadn't been
for Buffy.
So we have no idea
what caused this?
That's a comfort.
But that's the thrill of
living on the hellmouth.
There's a veritable
cornucopia of fiends
and devils and ghouls
to engage.
Well, pardon me for finding
the glass half full.
Any common denominators in cases
of spontaneous combustion?
Uh, rage.
In most cases,
the person who combusted
was terribly angry
or upset.
So maybe Amber's
got this power
to make herself
be on fire.
It's like the human torch,
only it hurts.
I need to get the skinny
on Amber.
Find out if she's had any
colorful episodes before.
That means
hacking illegally
into the school's
computer system.
At last,
something I can do.
I'll ask around
about her.
You guys don't have
to get involved.
What do you mean?
We're a team.
Aren't we a team?
Yeah. You're the slayer,
and we're, like,
the slayerettes.
I just don't like putting
you guys in danger.
Oh, ha! I laugh in
the face of danger.
Then I hide until
it goes away.
OK.
Just... Walk softly,
at least until we know
a little more.
I mean, what if Amber isn't
causing these problems herself?
Well, then
we have to determine
who... Or what did
and, uh, deal with it
accordingly.
Hey.
Hi. How was school?
Mmm. A reverent joy.
What's all this?
It's for the tribal
art display.
Cool.
We had tryouts today.
Oh, great. How'd it go?
I didn't actually
get to try out.
There was an accident.
Pretty fierce
competition, though.
Oh, I know you'll do fine.
Keep on pluggin'.
Just have to get
back on the horse.
Hey, mom?
Yeah?
What was
I trying out for?
Oh, uh...
Some activity?
I have no idea.
I'm sorry.
That's OK.
Your platitudes are good
for all occasions.
I'm distracted.
I got a lot of inventory
to go through here.
This is my gallery's
first major show.
You know, it might not
physically kill you
to give me a hand here.
It was cheerleading.
Oh, good!
I'm glad you're
taking that up again.
It'll keep you
out of trouble.
I'm not in trouble.
No, not yet.
I mean, you stopped cheerleading
just before the trouble,
so it's good
you're going back.
Oh, dear.
What?
The fertility statue...
You don't need
to see it.
You know, there's
this girl Amy, and, um,
she trains with her mom,
like, 3 hours a day.
Uh-huh.
It sounds like her mom's
pretty into it.
It sounds like her mom
doesn't have a lot to do.
Jeepers.
Despite the terrible thing
that happened yesterday,
we still have to pick
new cheerleaders.
If you make the team,
you'll find your names
posted in the quad after lunch.
Let's begin
with group performance.
Why do my hands
have to sweat
when I get nervous?
Don't worry.
You'll do great.
5, 6, 7, 8!
Sunnydale!
Sunnydale, we never fail!
Never fail!
Jump and shoot,
swish and score!
The other team
is such a bore!
Yeah!
You saw that, right?
That wasn't me.
You saw that, right?
Right?
That's my mom.
No.
"Catherine Madison."
Get down
with your bad self.
Her nickname
was Catherine the great.
She took that team and made
them tri-county champions.
You know, no one's
ever done that before...
Or since.
She and my dad were
homecoming king and queen.
They got married
right after graduation.
That's kind of romantic.
Well,
he was a big loser.
Never made any money.
Ran off with miss trailer
trash when I was 12.
OK, that part's
less romantic.
My folks split up, too.
Drag, huh?
He left my mom
with nothing.
She put herself through
cosmetology school.
Bought me everything
I ever wanted
and never once gained
a single pound.
Uh, she sounds
really great, Amy, but, um...
It doesn't mean that
you need to lock step
as far as this
cheerleading thing.
She was the best,
and I can't get my body
to move like hers.
I choked in there
so bad.
No, Amy, you did fine.
I'm going to get changed.
Wait. No, a...
Hey, Amy.
Is she OK?
No. She's wigging
about her mom,
the big cheer queen
back when.
Yeah, her mom's kind of...
Nazi-like?
Heil.
If she gains an ounce,
she padlocks the fridge
and won't eat anything
but broth.
So mommie dearest is really...
Mommie dearest.
There's a bitter streak,
but Amy's nice.
We used to hang
in junior high.
When her mom would
go on a broth kick,
Amy would come over
to my house,
and we'd stuff ourselves
with brownies.
Hey, any word on Amber?
Nothing thrilling.
Average student, got
detention once for smoking.
Regular smoking...
With a cigarette,
not, like, being smoky.
All pretty normal.
So we just have to wait
and see what happens.
Maybe nothing will.
I have a dream.
It's me
on the cheerleading squad,
adored by every
varsity male
as far as
the eye can see.
We have to achieve
our dreams, Amy.
Otherwise,
we wither and die.
Look, I'm sorry about...
Shh!
If your supreme klutziness
out there today
takes me out
of the running,
you're going to be
so very beyond sorry.
Have a nice day.
I told Buffy about Amber.
Cool.
Was she wearing it?
The bracelet, she was
wearing it, right?
It's pretty much
like we're going out.
Except without
the hugging or kissing
or her knowing about it.
So I'm just a figure
of fun.
I should ask her out,
right?
Won't know
until you ask.
That's why you're so cool.
You're like a guy.
You're my guy friend that
knows about girl stuff.
Oh, great. I'm a guy.
Oh, hey, they're
posting the list.
I can't take this.
Yes!
Cover me.
I'm going in.
You're lucky.
I made it?
I made it.
One of those girls
hit me really hard.
They should test
for steroids.
OK, not only
did you make the team,
but you, miss summers,
are the first alternate,
and Amy's number 3.
What a better way
to celebrate
than with a romantic
drive through...
Xander, alternates are the
ones who didn't make the team.
They only fill in if something
happens to the ones who did.
Excuse me.
For I am Xander,
king of cretins.
May all lesser cretins
bow before me.
At least it's over.
And you know what I think
we should do about it?
Brownie pig-out,
my house, after school.
Just how many more hours
a day can I practice?
How much more can I do?
This would never have
happened to my mother.
Never.
Give me the power.
Give me the dark.
I call on you,
laughing gods.
Let your blackness crawl
beneath my skin.
Accept thy sacrifice...
Cordelia.
Feed on her.
Look what I found.
It's my yearbook
from junior year.
Oh, look.
There I am.
Mom, I've accepted
that you've had sex.
I am not ready to know
that you had Farrah hair.
This is gidget hair.
Don't they teach you
anything in history?
Well, it's really cool,
but I gotta book.
Well, I was thinking.
I know the cheerleading
thing didn't work out.
Maybe you should think about
joining the yearbook staff.
I did it.
It was a lot of fun.
Not really my tip, mom.
I was photo editor.
I got to be
on every page.
Made me look much more
popular than I was.
Have you seen the kids
that do yearbook?
Nerds pick on them.
Some of the best times
I had in school
were working
on the yearbook.
Well, this just in...
I'm not you.
I'm into my own thing.
Your own thing,
whatever it is,
got you kicked out of school,
and we had to move here
to find a decent school
that would take you.
Honey.
Oh, great parenting form.
A little shaky
on the dismount.
Cordelia, you haven't
been mean to me all day.
Is it something
I've done?
OK, see how she has no clue
that I'm even a mammal,
much less a human being?
I see that.
This is the invisible
man syndrome,
a blessing in Cordelia’s
case, a curse in Buffy's.
You're not invisible
to Buffy.
It's worse. I'm just a
part of the scenery,
like an old shoe
or a rug that you
walk on every day
but don't even
really see.
Like a pen
that's all chewed up,
and you know you
should throw it away,
but you don't,
not 'cause you
like it so much more,
'cause you're
just used to it...
Well, yeah,
that is the point.
You don't have to drive
it through my head
like a railroad spike.
I'm going to take
your advice
and not beat
around the bush.
Or I could be wrong.
Maybe you should
beat around the bush more.
No. I got to be a man
and ask her out.
I got to stop
giving her I.D. Bracelets,
subtle innuendoes,
taking Polaroids outside
of her bedroom window
late at night.
That last part is a joke
to relieve the tension
because here
she comes.
OK, into battle I go.
Would you ask her out
for me?
No. Man. Me battle.
Buffy.
Would you like to...
Is that even
Cordelia’s locker?
Huh?
Oh, I don't know.
What I'm saying is
accompany me Friday night.
I have to, um...
We can pick this up later.
You don't mind, do you?
Nice of you
to join us, Cordelia.
We didn't keep you waiting
or anything, did we?
It's your turn to drive.
OK, people,
let's buckle up.
I don't want to drive
today, Mr. pole.
You've flunked driver's ed.
Twice already.
Show me some moves, or you'll
be taking the bus to college.
OK, check the brake.
Check the mirror.
Start the engine.
Hello?
Put the car in drive.
Let's move forward
through the cones
with a gentle,
even turn to the...
Aah!
Oh!
Slow down.
Slow... slow! Turn right!
Aah!
Slow down!
Brakes! Brakes!
Brakes!
Everybody out!
Aah!
Oh, my god! I can't
see anything!
Oh, god.
What's happening?
I can't see anything.
Witchcraft.
Blinding your enemy to disorient
and disable them is... it's classic.
First vampires,
now witches.
No wonder you can still
afford a house in Sunnydale.
Why should someone
want to harm Cordelia?
Maybe because
they met her?
Did I say that?
And setting
Amber ablaze?
Yeah. Those guys
don't hang.
They're both
cheerleaders.
Someone doesn't
like cheerleading?
Or likes it
too much.
Amy.
Amy.
So you guys are
leaning towards Amy.
She's desperate
to get on that team,
and I've had this feeling
she'd do just about anything
to make her mom's
dream come true.
Let me make sure
I have this right.
This witch is casting horrible
and disfiguring spells
so that she can
become a cheerleader?
I think you're underestimating
the amount of pressure
a parent can lay on you.
If you're not a picture-perfect
carbon copy, they tend to wig.
Cheerleading was kind of
her mom's last hurrah.
Look, we still
have to stop Amy.
We should
grab her and...
I think we should be sure
she's the witch
before we arouse
her suspicions.
She's capable of some very
unpleasant things.
OK, all right, so you're
in high school.
You are desperate to make the
team and please your mom,
so you turn
to witchcraft.
What's the first thing
you're gonna do?
Check out the books
on witchcraft.
Uh... no!
That would be
the last thing you would do.
You don't want to leave
a paper trail.
Forget that.
It'll just take a minute.
We don't have a minute!
Cheerleaders are in danger.
Buffy's in danger.
You were the first alternate.
You are on the team
now that Cordelia’s out.
You could be next.
We gotta get you
to a safe house.
Xander...
Yeah.
Historic roots
to modern practices."
Checked out
by Alexander Harris.
"The pagan rites."
Checked out by
Alexander...
All right.
All right.
It's not what
you think.
You like to look at
the semi-nude engravings?
Oh, well, uh...
I... I guess it is
what you think.
Have you quite finished?
We have to find
a conclusive test.
There may be
something in here.
Yes, this should do it.
You'll need
some of her hair...
A little quicksilver,
and... Some aqua fortis.
Well, that's just Mercury
and nitric acid.
You can get that
in the science lab.
"Heat ingredients
and apply to witch.
"If a spell has been cast
in the previous 48 hours,
the witch's skin
turns blue."
Oh, dear.
Only you'll need
some eye of newt.
Those of you in track one may
begin your dissections...
Now.
Those of you in track two,
take your hydrochloric acid
and your ammonium hydroxide
and carefully... Pour them
into... Your beakers.
Now slow... Slow.
I can't.
Counting one...
And being safe.
And you get...
Eye of newt.
That.
How's Buffy doing
with the hair?
Isn't this exciting?
Oh, yeah.
Amy, help me.
Um, which is
the hydrochloric acid,
and which is
the ammonium hydroxide?
Well, the bottle that
says "hydrochloric acid"
is usually
the hydrochloric acid.
Read the bottles.
What a concept.
Oops.
Wave hi to
the nice little witch.
All set.
Do you have a plan?
Spill it on her,
try and make it look natural.
We're right behind you,
only... Further back.
Lishanne,
can you tell me
why these chemicals
have this reaction?
Lishanne?
Are you...
Oh, my god.
Did you see? Amy was as freaked
out as the rest of us.
So it's not her?
The test was positive.
She's our Sabrina.
I just don't think
she realizes what she's doing.
Well, should we
talk to her?
I think we should
talk to her mother.
I wonder if she knows
what she's created.
Where are you?
Another productive day
in front of the TV?
I got a history report
due tomorrow.
Write it.
I should be
on that team by now.
Instead, miss Buffy and
friends are sneaking around,
stealing bits
of my hair.
I'll be upstairs.
Oh!
Oops.
♪ Macho, macho man ♪
♪ I want to be
a macho man ♪
♪ macho... ♪
Ooh, hey, juice.
Mmm.
Quality juice.
Not from concentrate.
You're in a good mood.
I am. I'm on the squad,
which is great
'cause I feel like cheering
and leading others to cheer.
Ooh. Hey, juice.
Listen, honey,
about yesterday...
Mmm. That is
totally yester.
Besides, it's not like
you were wrong, y'know?
I did get kicked
out of school.
I'm just wacky that way.
Still, I just want you
to know that,
despite the problems
you've had...
Mom, you just
don't get it.
And, believe me,
you don't want it.
You know, there are just some
things about being a vampire slayer
that the older
generation...
A what?
It's a... Long story.
Buffy, are you
feeling well?
What? Oh, I'm... I'm fine,
y'know?
What, I can't be
in a good mood?
Like, a new house rule?
Fine.
Y'know,
I'm just fine, fine, fine,
'cause ♪ I'm a macho,
macho man ♪
♪ I want to be
a macho man ♪
♪ macho, macho man ♪
♪ I want to be... ♪
5, 8, 7, 8!
Turn up the music!
Ow!
Get it together, Buffy!
We have a game
in less than 4 hours.
Willow! Xander!
My buds are here!
I love my buds!
Hi!
Hi... Oh...
Is it me, or is Buffy
a bit looped?
We'd better get her
out of there.
Yeah. Before she...
Aah!
Hurts someone.
Did I do that?
You are so out of here.
It's not her fault!
She's on medication.
Obviously not enough.
Who's our next
alternate?
Oh...
Amy, you just
made cheerleader.
No, no, no,
you don't want her.
She's a...
Wiiii...
A wise choice, indeed.
She's a witchy.
Buffy.
I just got kicked off
the team, didn't I?
I don't think
it was your fault.
Mmm. I know you don't. That's
'cause you're my friend.
You're my Xander-shaped
friend.
Do you have any idea
why I love you so, Xander?
We gotta get her to a...
Let her speak.
I'll tell you.
You're not like other boys
at all.
You are totally and completely
one of the girls.
I'm that comfy with him.
That's great.
Any other guy who would
give me a bracelet,
they'd... Wanna date me
and be like a...
Oh...
I... I don't... Feel so good.
Buffy?
We've gotta get her
to a hospital!
They can't help her.
This is a bloodstone
vengeance spell.
Hits the body hard
like a quart of alcohol,
and then it eradicates
the immune system.
Vengeance spell, like she's
trying to get even with Buffy?
'Cause she knows
I know she's a witch.
The others she just wanted
out of the running.
You she intends to, um...
Kill.
How much time
do we have?
Oh, uh, i-I'm sure, uh...
The truth.
Please.
A couple of hours...
3 at the most.
Well, how do we
reverse the spell?
Well, i-I've been
researching that,
and, um, we can reverse
all the spells
if, um, we can just lay our
hands on... on Amy's spell book.
And if we can't
get a hold of it?
Well, the other way is to, uh,
cut the witch's head off.
Show of hands.
It's not Amy's fault.
She only became a witch
to survive her mother.
Look, I don't care why. I just
care that you go on breathing.
Giles, where would she
be casting these spells?
Well, she needs
a sacred space.
A pentagram,
a large pot.
Her home.
OK. Help me up.
We'll just...
Go to her house,
and we'll get her book.
OK. We'll go with you.
Uh, no.
You guys stay here
and keep an eye on Amy.
And keep her away
from the science lab.
We'll need it to cast
our counterspells.
Who are you? What, um, uh...
Is there something wrong?
Mrs. Madison, we need to talk
to you about your daughter.
I'm not allow... you'll
have to come back later.
Excuse me.
What?!
You all right?
Um, in here.
Your daughter is meddling with
something very dangerous.
Are you aware of that?
I don't know what
you're talking about.
Oh, I think you know
only too well.
You've got to go.
She's gonna
be home soon, and...
This girl is very sick.
Now you will shut up,
and you will listen to me.
Your daughter has access
to some very powerful magic.
Somehow, your obsession
with cheerleading...
I don't care
about cheerleading!
It's not my fault
she's doing stuff.
As her mother, you should assume
some responsibility for her actions.
Ha ha!
Well... You know,
these kids today...
She's out of her mind.
Ever since dad...
Her dad left,
I can't control her.
You're afraid of her.
Amy?
Are you Amy?
I don't understand.
She switched.
She switched your bodies,
didn't she?
Good lord.
She wanted to relive
her glory days.
She said I was
wasting my youth.
So she took it.
I didn't know anything
about her powers.
When my dad was here,
they would fight and yell,
and he would
call her a witch.
And, I mean, I just
thought he meant...
Oh, god, when he left,
I wanted to go with him.
But she wouldn't even
let me call.
She went crazy.
I mean, she'd lock herself
upstairs for days,
and she was always
coming down on me,
and telling me I didn't deserve
to have it so easy
and that I didn't know
how hard it was to be her...
I guess she showed me, huh?
Amy, it's gonna be OK.
A few months ago...
I woke up in her... her bed.
I didn't know
where I was, and...
Then I looked in the mirror.
She locked herself upstairs?
Yes.
Where?
Don't! If she finds out I've
been here, she'll kill me.
My god.
I believe we can reverse
your mother's spell.
Well, all of them,
in fact.
You could?
Really? You could?
We need to find
her books.
There'd be specific...
Volumes she'd need
for this kind
of casting.
Collect those dolls
and, uh,
any other personal...
Nice... Kitty.
Let's see what
you were guarding.
Ah, yes.
This is it.
Did we find?
We found.
Come on.
Where are you going?
We're going to school.
And you're coming with us.
I'm going to stop this.
I promise.
You just hang on.
Oh...
How is she?
We only have
a few minutes left.
Go, Sunnydale, go!
Go, Sunnydale, go!
Go! 6, 7, 8...
Go, Sunnydale, go!
Go, Sunnydale, go!
Go, Sunnydale, go!
Go! 6, 7, 8...
Go, Sunnydale, go!
Go, Sunnydale, go!
Go, Sunnydale, go!
Go! 6, 7, 8...
Go, Sunnydale, go!
Go, Sunnydale, go!
Go, Sunnydale, go!
Go!
Right.
Here we go.
The center is dark.
Centrum est obscurus.
The darkness breathes.
Tenebrae respiratis.
The listener hears.
Hear me!
Go! 1, 2, 3, 4,
5, 6, 7, 8!
1, 2, 3...
1, 2, 3, 4, 5,
6, 7, 8!
Oh, it's... it's working!
Unlock the gate.
Let the darkness shine.
Cover us with holy fear.
Show me...
Amy, what's your problem?
She's coming!
Amy.
Get out of my way!
W-wait. I... I need
to talk to you.
I... I can help you.
Help me?
With what?
Well... well, you know,
uh, your witchcraft?
I... I know this really
good cauldron.
Do you actually
ride a broom?
Xander!
Corsheth and gilail...
The gate is closed.
Receive the dark.
Release the unworthy.
Take of mine energy
and be sated!
Be sated.
Release the unworthy.
Release!
Release!
Release!
Buffy?
Amy?
You... you...
You...
You little brat.
Mom... Please...
How dare you raise
your hand to your mother?
I gave you birth.
I gave up my life so you could
drag that worthless carcass around
and call it living?
You've never been
anything but trouble.
I'm going to put you where you
can't make trouble again.
Guess what?
I feel better.
That body was mine.
Mine!
Oh, grow up.
Unh!
I shall look
upon my enemy...
I shall look upon her,
and the dark place
will have her soul.
Corsheth, take her!
Hyah!
Aah!
Well... well, that was, um...
Interesting.
You guys OK?
I'm fine.
I assume, the, uh...
All the spells
were reversed.
It was my first casting,
so, uh...
I may have got it wrong.
You saved my life.
You were a god.
Well, I didn't think
you'd pull it off.
I got her! I got her!
Cut her head off!
Xander, what are you doing?
Saving you?
Get your hands off of her.
But she's evil.
It wasn't exactly her.
I was my mom.
Oh.
Where is she?!
Uh, hey, Willow,
it's cool.
It is?
Yeah.
I took care of it.
I don't get it.
What?
I've been doing a lot
of thinking about...
Where you're coming from,
how to relate to you.
And I've come to a very
simple conclusion.
I don't get it.
I'm inscrutable, huh?
You're 16.
I think there's
a... a biological imperative
whereby I can't understand
you because I'm not 16.
Do you ever wish
you could be 16 again?
Oh, that's
a frightful notion.
Go through
all that again?
Not even if it helped me
understand you.
I love you, mom.
I don't get it.
My dad is so impossible.
He doesn't ever want me
going anywhere!
He wants to spend total
quantity time together.
And I'm like, "dad, I can go out.
It's perfectly safe."
But he's got all this guilt
about leaving me with my mom,
and he's being
a total pain.
You're loving it.
Every single minute.
This Saturday night, he wants
to stay in and make brownies...
Well, the brownies
were my idea.
Hey, I'm really sorry you guys
got bumped back to alternate.
Hold it. Wait.
No, I'm not.
Well, I know I'll miss
the intellectual thrill
of spelling out words
with my arms.
Ooh.
These grapes are sour.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I forgot that you wanted
to be on the squad.
Oh, hey, that's OK.
Cheerleading's just a little
too hairy for me these days.
That's for sure.
Catherine the great.
And there's been
no sign of her?
That last spell, she said I'd
never make trouble again.
Wherever she is, I don't
think we'll have to worry.
Twisted.
I'm just happy
to have my body back.
I'm thinking
of getting fat.
You know, I hear
that look's in for spring.
Grrr! Arrgh!