Broke (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 7 - Daddy Issues - full transcript
Javier decides to go with Jackie to visit her father in prison; Luis teaches Elizabeth to drive.
Jackie, I feel so bad about
my blunder this morning.
You shouldn't feel bad.
Thank you.
You should feel terrible.
I'm sorry. It's just my brain is mush
without my first cup of coffee.
Hmm. I can attest to that.
One morning, he kissed me
and asked Elizabeth
to lay out his tennis outfit.
What did you do?
Oh, well, I was groggy,
a-and I forgot that Sammy didn't know
that his grandfather is in prison.
Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
But before Javier could spill the beans,
I threw a fork in the garbage disposal
so the sound would drown him out.
Quick thinking.
That's what you did
when I almost told Dad
you were on birth control.
I'm just glad Sammy didn't catch on.
Pass me the Channellock pliers.
Sure. The-the Channel...
lock...
pliers. Here it comes.
I am so sorry about my misstep.
But why not just tell Sammy the truth?
Because our father
is a con man and a crook,
and we're embarrassed by him.
No. Because I am Sammy's mother,
and it's my job to protect him.
From finding out that his grandpa
is a con man and a crook.
You don't think Sammy can handle it?
He's only ten.
So I do what every good mother does:
lie and lie and lie
to protect the feelings
of the people that you love.
Hmm, that's great advice.
You know, that's what Dad did,
and he turned out okay.
Oh, wait, he's in prison.
Got it.
Fixed.
Ah.
Great. I just can't believe
you will break your garbage disposal
just so Sammy wouldn't hear
that his grandfather is in prison.
Sammy! There he is.
- Sammy!
- Nothing. I was just doing nothing.
- What's up, Sammy?
- Morning, kid.
Lizzie, this is the last
time I'm gonna ask.
Dad knows you're home, and it would mean
a lot to him if you would come visit.
In that case,
I'm definitely not going.
Why can't you cut him some slack?
I'm just shielding myself
so Dad can't hurt me anymore.
Yet another thing Meghan Markle
and I have in common.
Dad's not perfect, but after Mom died,
he kept a roof over our heads.
By lying and constantly running scams.
He did all those things
to give us a better life.
Deep down, he's a good guy
whose only crime...
Besides the three he was convicted of.
...is caring too much.
Say what you want about Dad,
but he always put our happiness first.
That's what I told myself, too.
Then he skipped my wedding.
What was he supposed to do? He was sick.
Take a pill and put on a suit.
If he even was sick, which I doubt.
He promised he was going to show up,
and when he didn't,
I just decided that's it.
- But, Lizzie...
- Jackie, please.
You must respect my wife's position.
She has her reasons
for not visiting her father.
Thank you, Javi.
I will visit your father instead.
What? No!
We've discussed this before, my love.
I feel terrible because I
have never even met him.
It's long overdue.
But you promised
you'd teach me to drive today.
Yes, I did.
It's true. But Luis will
be happy to teach you.
- Javi? Sidebar?
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Please don't make me drive with her.
I will give you Monday off.
If I get in that car,
I won't make it to Monday.
He said yes! I'm visiting your father!
I really don't want you to do that.
Mi amor, I've always
regretted not performing
the ritual of la pedida de mano.
Oh, darling, I don't need you
to do la pedida de mano.
But I want to perform la pedida de mano.
Okay, stop saying those words
or tell me what they mean.
Luis, Luis, give a brief explanation
of la pedida de mano.
La pedida de mano is
the time-honored tradition
of asking the father
for his daughter's hand in marriage.
It involves many fruits
and cheeses presented
on a finely woven tablecloth.
There are blessings, speeches and songs
all culminating in the promise
to love, honor and cherish
his future bride into eternity.
That was the brief explanation?
Oh, yes. I didn't mention
the lasso, the 13 coins,
the carriage ride
through the town square.
And yet, you just did.
Maybe not asking
for your father's permission
is the reason why he didn't
show up to our wedding.
And there's the matter of
an elderly spiritual friend
of the family, La Bruja Teresa,
who mentioned that our marriage
could be cursed because
la pedida was never performed.
Oh, Javi, please, don't be so silly.
Oh, please, my love, I don't believe it.
I pride myself on not being
superstitious at all.
Would you like me to light a candle?
Yes, please. Quickly.
But some people who are superstitious
think that it's possible
that the curse is the reason
why mi papá cut off my money
and we lost our fortune.
Your papá said it was because
of your reckless spending.
The point is, nobody knows for sure.
- Do you know what would be awesome?
- Hmm?
You not tapping.
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm a bit nervous.
I've never been to prison.
I've been to escape rooms.
But I have never escaped without Luis.
Hey, if asking my dad's
permission was so important,
why didn't you do it
before you got engaged?
Well, I should have. But I was
so in love with Elizabeth,
I just got carried away and proposed.
Next thing you know,
word spread everywhere,
thanks to our publicists.
It was an unforgivable
mistake on my part.
Well, if it makes you feel any better,
Barry never asked my dad's permission.
We eloped in Vegas
and went to an all-you-can-eat
shrimp buffet,
spent the next three days
rolling around in bed.
- Ah, romantic.
- Mm...
Not that kind of rolling around.
We had food poisoning.
Sounds like maybe
your marriage was cursed, too.
That would explain a lot.
Stop sign. Stop sign.
Stop sign.
How come you never learned to drive?
Oh, well, one day, my dad
took me to practice for my...
Please look at the road and not at me.
One day, my dad took me to practice
for my learner's permit.
Out of the blue, a car
hit us from behind.
Literally just a tap.
But my dad wanted me
to act like I had whiplash
so he could make some easy money.
I said no, we got into a big fight,
and that was the end
of the driving lessons.
You know, I never fought with my father.
Which is surprising,
because we're so different.
Really? Luis, I know your father.
You seem very similar.
No, not at all.
He's so closed off and formal.
Always having to have his ties
and hair just so.
So, do you miss him?
I do.
But everything between us
changed when I came out.
I've thought about calling him
a million times.
But I did nothing wrong.
He should call me.
You know, Luis, something I've...
Something I've learned over the years,
or maybe I just heard my yogi say it
as we were having aperitifs
on a rickshaw:
"Do you want to be right,
or do you want to be happy?"
Perhaps I could say the same
to you about your father.
And perhaps I could drive us
onto the freeway.
No, no, no, no, no.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
It's the button with the picture
of a phone on it.
Hello?
Hello.
Is this Elizabeth Dixon-Flores?
Unless this is the Mexican
tax authority, yes, it is.
This is Principal Reagan
from Sammy's school.
Sammy isn't feeling well
and needs to be picked up.
We tried his mother,
but she couldn't be reached.
Oh. That's because she doesn't
get cell reception in prison.
What? She's in...
Uh, we'll be there right away.
Hey, Dad. Hey.
How you feeling?
Eh, I'm pretty good, considering I have
the vitamin D levels of a root vegetable.
But that's what happens when you
never get to see the sun. Ha.
That's what happens when you cash checks
with someone else's name on them.
So, no Lizzie again, huh?
She couldn't make it.
Ah, let me guess. She's still pissed
and she doesn't want to visit, right?
Something like that.
Who's the haircut with the picnic basket?
Oh, you'll see.
He's about to do a whole thing.
Just go with it.
Mr. Dixon.
I'm Javier, Elizabeth's husband.
I'm so glad to finally meet you.
Mr. Dixon was my father.
Just call me Inmate 11726.
That's a classic prison "dad joke."
It's so funny.
Sir, now I present to you
la pedida de mano.
Traditionally,
I would lay out a handwoven table cloth
and cover it with artisanal cheeses,
exotic fruits and rare crystals.
But as that's not allowed in here,
please accept my tiny paper napkins
and pictures of fruits
and cheeses as a symbol
of my devotion to your daughter.
Okay. I-I accept them.
Oh, thank you.
Now, well...
The reason we are all here...
well, not you, Mr. Dixon...
it's because I never asked,
and I should have.
So, may I please have
the blessing to marry...
s-slash remain married to your daughter?
You went to a lot of trouble
to come here and ask me that.
I did.
And the answer is... no.
Thank you. Wait, what?
Come on, Dad, stop goofing around.
I'm not.
But why?
Because you were loaded,
and then you lost all your money.
I just don't think
you're the right person
to take care of Lizzie.
Dad, you're wrong.
I know he looks softer than some
of the cheeses in these photos,
but he's a good man.
So what?
Well, this isn't just for me.
Elizabeth is mad at you
for not coming to our wedding.
Maybe your blessing could be
the first step
to repairing your relationship.
You hear that?
Everything he does is
to take care of Lizzie.
Dad, he makes her happy.
I don't care.
Wow.
No wonder Lizzie doesn't come visit you.
Javi, get your fruit pics. We're leaving.
Sammy, sweetie,
you're really going to town
on those Hot Cheetos.
Is your stomachache gone?
Almost.
Maybe another Mountain Dew?
Look, Sammy, I know what you're doing.
I used to fake stomachaches all the time
to get out of stuff when I was a kid.
Even as an adult.
That's how she got out
of Thanksgiving at Mar-a-Iago.
Did something happen at school?
Ooh. Maybe your teacher
was wearing an outfit
ten years too young for her, and
it made you a little nauseous?
Come on, tell me.
Something happened today.
There's this kid at school... Nico...
I hate him already!
Sorry. I have a sense
where this is going.
Nico's a jerk to everyone.
Someone finally told on him,
and for some reason, he thinks it was me.
Is that because... it was you?
Yeah.
He said he was gonna get even
with me after school.
Hence the stomachache?
Please don't tell my mom.
She'd just worry.
I won't. But I am gonna teach you
- how to deal with this Nico jerk.
- I don't want to fight him.
Oh, honey, fighting is always
the last resort you go to.
Like a Sandals Resort in the Bahamas.
The most important thing is,
never let him see that you're scared.
But what if he corners me
and wants to fight?
Well, then and only then,
you might have to fight him.
I'll show you.
Luis, I need your help.
I want you to approach Sammy
like a bully.
Hey, kid, you wear glasses,
like 64% of the population.
Them's fightin' words!
Now, Sammy, use your size to get in close
so the bully doesn't
have the reach advantage.
Now, punch up to the
soft part of the belly,
following through with your whole body.
And then get out of the way
before he throws up the lunches he stole.
Ooh!
I am undone.
Bravo!
Thanks, Auntie Lizzie. I'm
gonna go upstairs and practice.
So, where did you learn all that?
Actually... my dad.
He always wanted to make sure
I knew how to protect myself.
My father taught me to fish,
and when we got home,
he always let me carry in
the biggest one.
Hmm. My dad did that
with the grocery bags.
But I think he knew
it made me feel grown-up.
My father spoiled me.
He bought me my first three-piece suit.
Ooh. I was the best-dressed kid
at preschool.
It couldn't have been easy for my dad
to raise two girls by himself.
Wait. What the hell are we doing?!
- Are we talking nice about our fathers?
- Ugh.
The wine's making us soft.
I am not ready to let him off the hook.
Well, I am not ready to stop drinking,
so let's just power through this.
- We're home.
- So, how was jail?
Well, I performed a beautiful la pedida
for your father, but he said no.
What?
He spurned my fruits.
Are you serious?
He said I was irresponsible
and not the right person
to take care of you.
Thank God he didn't see
that I lost Jackie's keys
in the prison parking lot.
He doesn't know you, but I do wish
you would have heard me
when I asked you not to go.
I should have listened to you, my love,
but I really thought I could help
fix your relationship with him.
I appreciate you trying,
but that's between me and my dad,
and we're gonna have
to work that out ourselves.
- I'm sorry. I'll never do it again.
- Thank you.
I love you, mi reina.
Wow.
You guys really do work
through things emotionally.
It's freakish.
What's freakish is the way you
defended me to your father.
I'm kidding. It was beautiful.
You should have seen her, Elizabeth.
She protected me like a
mama bear protects her cubs.
Isn't that right, Mama Bear?
Sure.
Wait.
You turned on Dad?
Well, Lizzie, I spent my entire life
giving Dad the benefit of the doubt.
But now I'm beginning to think that you
and multiple juries were right.
It's funny. Earlier tonight,
there were a few moments
where I remembered that life
with Dad wasn't always awful.
But after what he did to Javi,
I'm over it.
I'm going down to that prison tomorrow
to give Dad a piece of my mind.
Grandpa's in prison?
Why is Grandpa in prison?
Well, he wrote some phony checks,
and he sold some land
he didn't technically own.
So... is he a bad guy?
I don't think so, but he made
a lot of bad choices.
I'm sorry. I should have told you.
It's okay, Mom.
There's something maybe I should
probably tell you, too.
You know, your Aunt Lizzie
and Tío Javi...
they're super honest with each other.
They talk about everything.
You want to maybe try that?
- Yeah.
- Go for it.
I lied and said I had a
stomachache because there was
a kid at school who wanted to fight me.
But I'm not scared anymore
because Aunt Lizzie taught me
how a guy my size can fight anyone.
Just get in close and punch him
straight up the stomach!
That was her move.
I'm gonna need you
to start from the beginning.
There's this kid named Nico.
I hate him already.
Papá...
_
_
_
_
_
Papá...
_
_
Papá...
_
_
_
_
_
_
How dare you disrespect
my husband and his fruits.
There's my little spitfire.
You look amazing.
Don't distract me with what's obvious.
Javier is the sweetest,
kindest man in the world.
And for you to say
he's not good enough for me...
If anything, he is too good for her.
Keep going. You're doing great.
For you to turn him down is not
just an insult to him,
but an insult to me as well.
Why the hell are you smiling?
This is all part of my plan.
I knew that if I got you mad enough,
you would come down here
to defend your husband.
And that's the only way I could think of
to have you come visit me.
Wait. So, this whole thing was a con?
You manipulated us?
Now you're getting it.
Look, you got to use the tools
that you have, hmm?
I happen to be great at conning.
Well, you're not that great,
or you wouldn't be in here.
I don't think I get enough credit
for all the times I didn't get caught.
So, we're good?
No, we're not good, Dad.
Why?
Well, let's start with:
Why didn't you come to my wedding?
Yeah, that was bad.
Honey, there's nothing in the
world I wanted to do more
than to walk you down the aisle.
But I just thought with all those rich,
sophisticated people
that were gonna be there,
I'd stick out like a sore thumb.
I didn't want to embarrass you.
Well, maybe you would have
embarrassed me,
but I wanted you there anyway.
I mean, I invited Jackie.
Look, I am sorry.
And you know that I love you.
I just want a chance to start over again.
Hmm?
I'd like that, too.
But for that to happen,
things are gonna have to change.
No more lies, no more cons.
Just tell the truth.
Like when you said I looked amazing.
You got to admit, Dad,
lying hasn't worked out
great for any of us.
We might as well give honesty a shot.
Deal.
So, now, we're good, right?
Huh?
- We're getting there.
- All right, great.
I've missed that cute
laugh of yours, Lizzie.
My laugh's cute, too, right?
Yeah, sure.
Lizzie, I wish there was
something I could do
to make it up to you.
Well, here's something to start.
Javi?
Mr. Dixon, I will cut to the chase.
A, you are going to accept my crumpled
paper napkins and pictures
of fruits and cheeses
as a symbol of my devotion
to your daughter.
And B, you are going
to give me your blessing.
Well, obviously, you make her happy,
and obviously, she makes you happy,
so, therefore, I give you
permission to marry your wife.
my blunder this morning.
You shouldn't feel bad.
Thank you.
You should feel terrible.
I'm sorry. It's just my brain is mush
without my first cup of coffee.
Hmm. I can attest to that.
One morning, he kissed me
and asked Elizabeth
to lay out his tennis outfit.
What did you do?
Oh, well, I was groggy,
a-and I forgot that Sammy didn't know
that his grandfather is in prison.
Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
But before Javier could spill the beans,
I threw a fork in the garbage disposal
so the sound would drown him out.
Quick thinking.
That's what you did
when I almost told Dad
you were on birth control.
I'm just glad Sammy didn't catch on.
Pass me the Channellock pliers.
Sure. The-the Channel...
lock...
pliers. Here it comes.
I am so sorry about my misstep.
But why not just tell Sammy the truth?
Because our father
is a con man and a crook,
and we're embarrassed by him.
No. Because I am Sammy's mother,
and it's my job to protect him.
From finding out that his grandpa
is a con man and a crook.
You don't think Sammy can handle it?
He's only ten.
So I do what every good mother does:
lie and lie and lie
to protect the feelings
of the people that you love.
Hmm, that's great advice.
You know, that's what Dad did,
and he turned out okay.
Oh, wait, he's in prison.
Got it.
Fixed.
Ah.
Great. I just can't believe
you will break your garbage disposal
just so Sammy wouldn't hear
that his grandfather is in prison.
Sammy! There he is.
- Sammy!
- Nothing. I was just doing nothing.
- What's up, Sammy?
- Morning, kid.
Lizzie, this is the last
time I'm gonna ask.
Dad knows you're home, and it would mean
a lot to him if you would come visit.
In that case,
I'm definitely not going.
Why can't you cut him some slack?
I'm just shielding myself
so Dad can't hurt me anymore.
Yet another thing Meghan Markle
and I have in common.
Dad's not perfect, but after Mom died,
he kept a roof over our heads.
By lying and constantly running scams.
He did all those things
to give us a better life.
Deep down, he's a good guy
whose only crime...
Besides the three he was convicted of.
...is caring too much.
Say what you want about Dad,
but he always put our happiness first.
That's what I told myself, too.
Then he skipped my wedding.
What was he supposed to do? He was sick.
Take a pill and put on a suit.
If he even was sick, which I doubt.
He promised he was going to show up,
and when he didn't,
I just decided that's it.
- But, Lizzie...
- Jackie, please.
You must respect my wife's position.
She has her reasons
for not visiting her father.
Thank you, Javi.
I will visit your father instead.
What? No!
We've discussed this before, my love.
I feel terrible because I
have never even met him.
It's long overdue.
But you promised
you'd teach me to drive today.
Yes, I did.
It's true. But Luis will
be happy to teach you.
- Javi? Sidebar?
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Please don't make me drive with her.
I will give you Monday off.
If I get in that car,
I won't make it to Monday.
He said yes! I'm visiting your father!
I really don't want you to do that.
Mi amor, I've always
regretted not performing
the ritual of la pedida de mano.
Oh, darling, I don't need you
to do la pedida de mano.
But I want to perform la pedida de mano.
Okay, stop saying those words
or tell me what they mean.
Luis, Luis, give a brief explanation
of la pedida de mano.
La pedida de mano is
the time-honored tradition
of asking the father
for his daughter's hand in marriage.
It involves many fruits
and cheeses presented
on a finely woven tablecloth.
There are blessings, speeches and songs
all culminating in the promise
to love, honor and cherish
his future bride into eternity.
That was the brief explanation?
Oh, yes. I didn't mention
the lasso, the 13 coins,
the carriage ride
through the town square.
And yet, you just did.
Maybe not asking
for your father's permission
is the reason why he didn't
show up to our wedding.
And there's the matter of
an elderly spiritual friend
of the family, La Bruja Teresa,
who mentioned that our marriage
could be cursed because
la pedida was never performed.
Oh, Javi, please, don't be so silly.
Oh, please, my love, I don't believe it.
I pride myself on not being
superstitious at all.
Would you like me to light a candle?
Yes, please. Quickly.
But some people who are superstitious
think that it's possible
that the curse is the reason
why mi papá cut off my money
and we lost our fortune.
Your papá said it was because
of your reckless spending.
The point is, nobody knows for sure.
- Do you know what would be awesome?
- Hmm?
You not tapping.
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm a bit nervous.
I've never been to prison.
I've been to escape rooms.
But I have never escaped without Luis.
Hey, if asking my dad's
permission was so important,
why didn't you do it
before you got engaged?
Well, I should have. But I was
so in love with Elizabeth,
I just got carried away and proposed.
Next thing you know,
word spread everywhere,
thanks to our publicists.
It was an unforgivable
mistake on my part.
Well, if it makes you feel any better,
Barry never asked my dad's permission.
We eloped in Vegas
and went to an all-you-can-eat
shrimp buffet,
spent the next three days
rolling around in bed.
- Ah, romantic.
- Mm...
Not that kind of rolling around.
We had food poisoning.
Sounds like maybe
your marriage was cursed, too.
That would explain a lot.
Stop sign. Stop sign.
Stop sign.
How come you never learned to drive?
Oh, well, one day, my dad
took me to practice for my...
Please look at the road and not at me.
One day, my dad took me to practice
for my learner's permit.
Out of the blue, a car
hit us from behind.
Literally just a tap.
But my dad wanted me
to act like I had whiplash
so he could make some easy money.
I said no, we got into a big fight,
and that was the end
of the driving lessons.
You know, I never fought with my father.
Which is surprising,
because we're so different.
Really? Luis, I know your father.
You seem very similar.
No, not at all.
He's so closed off and formal.
Always having to have his ties
and hair just so.
So, do you miss him?
I do.
But everything between us
changed when I came out.
I've thought about calling him
a million times.
But I did nothing wrong.
He should call me.
You know, Luis, something I've...
Something I've learned over the years,
or maybe I just heard my yogi say it
as we were having aperitifs
on a rickshaw:
"Do you want to be right,
or do you want to be happy?"
Perhaps I could say the same
to you about your father.
And perhaps I could drive us
onto the freeway.
No, no, no, no, no.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
It's the button with the picture
of a phone on it.
Hello?
Hello.
Is this Elizabeth Dixon-Flores?
Unless this is the Mexican
tax authority, yes, it is.
This is Principal Reagan
from Sammy's school.
Sammy isn't feeling well
and needs to be picked up.
We tried his mother,
but she couldn't be reached.
Oh. That's because she doesn't
get cell reception in prison.
What? She's in...
Uh, we'll be there right away.
Hey, Dad. Hey.
How you feeling?
Eh, I'm pretty good, considering I have
the vitamin D levels of a root vegetable.
But that's what happens when you
never get to see the sun. Ha.
That's what happens when you cash checks
with someone else's name on them.
So, no Lizzie again, huh?
She couldn't make it.
Ah, let me guess. She's still pissed
and she doesn't want to visit, right?
Something like that.
Who's the haircut with the picnic basket?
Oh, you'll see.
He's about to do a whole thing.
Just go with it.
Mr. Dixon.
I'm Javier, Elizabeth's husband.
I'm so glad to finally meet you.
Mr. Dixon was my father.
Just call me Inmate 11726.
That's a classic prison "dad joke."
It's so funny.
Sir, now I present to you
la pedida de mano.
Traditionally,
I would lay out a handwoven table cloth
and cover it with artisanal cheeses,
exotic fruits and rare crystals.
But as that's not allowed in here,
please accept my tiny paper napkins
and pictures of fruits
and cheeses as a symbol
of my devotion to your daughter.
Okay. I-I accept them.
Oh, thank you.
Now, well...
The reason we are all here...
well, not you, Mr. Dixon...
it's because I never asked,
and I should have.
So, may I please have
the blessing to marry...
s-slash remain married to your daughter?
You went to a lot of trouble
to come here and ask me that.
I did.
And the answer is... no.
Thank you. Wait, what?
Come on, Dad, stop goofing around.
I'm not.
But why?
Because you were loaded,
and then you lost all your money.
I just don't think
you're the right person
to take care of Lizzie.
Dad, you're wrong.
I know he looks softer than some
of the cheeses in these photos,
but he's a good man.
So what?
Well, this isn't just for me.
Elizabeth is mad at you
for not coming to our wedding.
Maybe your blessing could be
the first step
to repairing your relationship.
You hear that?
Everything he does is
to take care of Lizzie.
Dad, he makes her happy.
I don't care.
Wow.
No wonder Lizzie doesn't come visit you.
Javi, get your fruit pics. We're leaving.
Sammy, sweetie,
you're really going to town
on those Hot Cheetos.
Is your stomachache gone?
Almost.
Maybe another Mountain Dew?
Look, Sammy, I know what you're doing.
I used to fake stomachaches all the time
to get out of stuff when I was a kid.
Even as an adult.
That's how she got out
of Thanksgiving at Mar-a-Iago.
Did something happen at school?
Ooh. Maybe your teacher
was wearing an outfit
ten years too young for her, and
it made you a little nauseous?
Come on, tell me.
Something happened today.
There's this kid at school... Nico...
I hate him already!
Sorry. I have a sense
where this is going.
Nico's a jerk to everyone.
Someone finally told on him,
and for some reason, he thinks it was me.
Is that because... it was you?
Yeah.
He said he was gonna get even
with me after school.
Hence the stomachache?
Please don't tell my mom.
She'd just worry.
I won't. But I am gonna teach you
- how to deal with this Nico jerk.
- I don't want to fight him.
Oh, honey, fighting is always
the last resort you go to.
Like a Sandals Resort in the Bahamas.
The most important thing is,
never let him see that you're scared.
But what if he corners me
and wants to fight?
Well, then and only then,
you might have to fight him.
I'll show you.
Luis, I need your help.
I want you to approach Sammy
like a bully.
Hey, kid, you wear glasses,
like 64% of the population.
Them's fightin' words!
Now, Sammy, use your size to get in close
so the bully doesn't
have the reach advantage.
Now, punch up to the
soft part of the belly,
following through with your whole body.
And then get out of the way
before he throws up the lunches he stole.
Ooh!
I am undone.
Bravo!
Thanks, Auntie Lizzie. I'm
gonna go upstairs and practice.
So, where did you learn all that?
Actually... my dad.
He always wanted to make sure
I knew how to protect myself.
My father taught me to fish,
and when we got home,
he always let me carry in
the biggest one.
Hmm. My dad did that
with the grocery bags.
But I think he knew
it made me feel grown-up.
My father spoiled me.
He bought me my first three-piece suit.
Ooh. I was the best-dressed kid
at preschool.
It couldn't have been easy for my dad
to raise two girls by himself.
Wait. What the hell are we doing?!
- Are we talking nice about our fathers?
- Ugh.
The wine's making us soft.
I am not ready to let him off the hook.
Well, I am not ready to stop drinking,
so let's just power through this.
- We're home.
- So, how was jail?
Well, I performed a beautiful la pedida
for your father, but he said no.
What?
He spurned my fruits.
Are you serious?
He said I was irresponsible
and not the right person
to take care of you.
Thank God he didn't see
that I lost Jackie's keys
in the prison parking lot.
He doesn't know you, but I do wish
you would have heard me
when I asked you not to go.
I should have listened to you, my love,
but I really thought I could help
fix your relationship with him.
I appreciate you trying,
but that's between me and my dad,
and we're gonna have
to work that out ourselves.
- I'm sorry. I'll never do it again.
- Thank you.
I love you, mi reina.
Wow.
You guys really do work
through things emotionally.
It's freakish.
What's freakish is the way you
defended me to your father.
I'm kidding. It was beautiful.
You should have seen her, Elizabeth.
She protected me like a
mama bear protects her cubs.
Isn't that right, Mama Bear?
Sure.
Wait.
You turned on Dad?
Well, Lizzie, I spent my entire life
giving Dad the benefit of the doubt.
But now I'm beginning to think that you
and multiple juries were right.
It's funny. Earlier tonight,
there were a few moments
where I remembered that life
with Dad wasn't always awful.
But after what he did to Javi,
I'm over it.
I'm going down to that prison tomorrow
to give Dad a piece of my mind.
Grandpa's in prison?
Why is Grandpa in prison?
Well, he wrote some phony checks,
and he sold some land
he didn't technically own.
So... is he a bad guy?
I don't think so, but he made
a lot of bad choices.
I'm sorry. I should have told you.
It's okay, Mom.
There's something maybe I should
probably tell you, too.
You know, your Aunt Lizzie
and Tío Javi...
they're super honest with each other.
They talk about everything.
You want to maybe try that?
- Yeah.
- Go for it.
I lied and said I had a
stomachache because there was
a kid at school who wanted to fight me.
But I'm not scared anymore
because Aunt Lizzie taught me
how a guy my size can fight anyone.
Just get in close and punch him
straight up the stomach!
That was her move.
I'm gonna need you
to start from the beginning.
There's this kid named Nico.
I hate him already.
Papá...
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Papá...
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Papá...
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How dare you disrespect
my husband and his fruits.
There's my little spitfire.
You look amazing.
Don't distract me with what's obvious.
Javier is the sweetest,
kindest man in the world.
And for you to say
he's not good enough for me...
If anything, he is too good for her.
Keep going. You're doing great.
For you to turn him down is not
just an insult to him,
but an insult to me as well.
Why the hell are you smiling?
This is all part of my plan.
I knew that if I got you mad enough,
you would come down here
to defend your husband.
And that's the only way I could think of
to have you come visit me.
Wait. So, this whole thing was a con?
You manipulated us?
Now you're getting it.
Look, you got to use the tools
that you have, hmm?
I happen to be great at conning.
Well, you're not that great,
or you wouldn't be in here.
I don't think I get enough credit
for all the times I didn't get caught.
So, we're good?
No, we're not good, Dad.
Why?
Well, let's start with:
Why didn't you come to my wedding?
Yeah, that was bad.
Honey, there's nothing in the
world I wanted to do more
than to walk you down the aisle.
But I just thought with all those rich,
sophisticated people
that were gonna be there,
I'd stick out like a sore thumb.
I didn't want to embarrass you.
Well, maybe you would have
embarrassed me,
but I wanted you there anyway.
I mean, I invited Jackie.
Look, I am sorry.
And you know that I love you.
I just want a chance to start over again.
Hmm?
I'd like that, too.
But for that to happen,
things are gonna have to change.
No more lies, no more cons.
Just tell the truth.
Like when you said I looked amazing.
You got to admit, Dad,
lying hasn't worked out
great for any of us.
We might as well give honesty a shot.
Deal.
So, now, we're good, right?
Huh?
- We're getting there.
- All right, great.
I've missed that cute
laugh of yours, Lizzie.
My laugh's cute, too, right?
Yeah, sure.
Lizzie, I wish there was
something I could do
to make it up to you.
Well, here's something to start.
Javi?
Mr. Dixon, I will cut to the chase.
A, you are going to accept my crumpled
paper napkins and pictures
of fruits and cheeses
as a symbol of my devotion
to your daughter.
And B, you are going
to give me your blessing.
Well, obviously, you make her happy,
and obviously, she makes you happy,
so, therefore, I give you
permission to marry your wife.