Britannia (2017–…): Season 2, Episode 6 - Episode #2.6 - full transcript

They control the hearts
and minds of the people.

-How?
-With magic.

Well, you look like you've seen a ghost.

-I'm back, brother.
-Harka is risen!

Many have sworn
their allegiance to the Dead Man.

Led into darkness by the dark itself.

The Romans came,
they burned our village.

You heard of a tribe called the Devni?

Find someone else this time.
My sister's Queen.

There remains one hope. A maiden.

Who, if she pleases the gods,
may save us.



Your poxy gods can go
and fuck themselves.

It was not the gods
who made your sister queen.

Then who was it?

I intend to have those lands
one way or another.

I'll have a column of men nearby,
ready to persuade them.

-Get back in line.
-Since when do we forgive mutineers?

I think we found a witch doctor's stash.

-My beautiful sister.
-You've been gone a long time.

The Cantii whore comes to poison us.

-This is no longer your tribe.
-Rome is our future.

You will never turn me
against the Druids.

You were a warrior once.
You will be a warrior again.

The demon is here.
And the maiden is coming.

-Sister!
-You will die for this betrayal.



-No!
-You're ready.

I will find her. Show me!

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

-I think he was having us on.
-Shaun the Shaman?

We were out of our minds
on whatever he gave us.

I can't even remember the directions.

You follow the moon at sunrise,
for four days.

And then you cross a deep, dark river.

-Where you almost drowned.
-I was fine.

Then you head uphill, until you see
a peak crowned with rocks.

With a massive bear
that Shaun forgot to tell us about.

He doesn't know
where all the bears live.

Then you enter the woods
where the rivers meet, and there...

-You find the Tears of Gods.
-You find the Tears of Gods.

Rings of magic fruit,
as far as the eye can see.

We've been in this wood two days.

Not even a toadstool.

-I'm calling it. It's not here.
-Huh? But...

We haven't found the singing pond yet...

Fuck the singing pond! Fuck this shit.

Big river's that way. I'm out of here.

But we've come so far.
It must be close.

The edge of the wood is just over there.
You coming?

-Philo.
-I'm done. I must be nuts!

-Philo.
-What? What is it?

-Attention!
-Bummer.

When I look out my window

Many sights to see

And when I look in my window

So many different people to be

Oh, no

Must be the season of the witch

Must be the season of the witch, yeah

Must be the season of the witch

You got to pick up every stitch

The rabbits running in the ditch

Beatnicks are out to make it rich

It will be good to see her face again.

To hear her voice again.

Don't you want to hear it, my love?

Her sweet, sweet voice.

I hate to be the bringer of bad news,
but it seems, as we speak,

your sister is communing with the gods.

Not about whether
to follow your regal advice. No.

She would only know
the means of your execution.

Flayed? Burned?

Buried alive?
Torn apart by dogs?

Disemboweled?

It's all to play for.

I demand to speak with Veran.

You genuinely think
you can summon the Veran?

You know I can. And you know why.

You wouldn't dare.

Try me.

-What are you doing?
-Nothing.

Wake up.

Be careful!

There.

Can you hear me?

-Where am I?
-I'll tell you where you are, sunshine.

Right in the middle
of my fucking prophecy!

He's bleeding. What's your name?

-I can't remember.
-Perfect.

You were in the river. Chained.

Can you remember how you got there?
Who did it?

I can't remember anything.

You stole a mule
or you got someone pregnant.

Either way,
whoever it was had enough of you.

-No. He needs to sit down.
-He needs to leave.

-He nearly drowned.
-He needs to leave!

Then we need to work out what to do

now you've fucked up
the Sacred Trial of Sister Water!

You make me sick!

Where's he gone?

-Ah, ah. No, you don't.
-But he...

Leave this to me.

You have no idea the damage you've done.

-Oh, I don't believe this.
-Believe what?

My idiot brother's borrowing money
to buy hides.

I can't believe they made Maximus
the new Tessera.

Thinks he's the dogs now.
Look at him. Big, bald twat.

Oh, no. No, I don't believe it.
My sister's getting married.

You've got a sister? She fit?

-To some fat wanker.
-On your feet, scrotums!

Sir, yes, sir!

-This a vacation, ladies?
-Sir, no sir.

Sir, if I may congratulate you
on your promotion.

Richly deserved. It's an honor to serve
under so valiant and strong a legionary.

-Mate, you got some poo on your nose.
-Oh, shut up.

Oh, there you are.

-It's time to go.
-Where?

Head west.
There's a settlement half a day's walk.

Here. That's for bed and bread. So...

Oh, I see.

Yeah. Except you don't.

You genuinely do not see.

Have you ever spent your entire life,

all your skills, training body,
spirit, soul, for one moment?

Your friend saved my life.
I have to thank her.

Much as I'd love that, it's impossible.

So...

Well...

-Goodbye.
-Goodbye.

Ge...

The Arms of the Eagle. Oh, no.

Our friend is going to stay
with us for a few days.

-Just until he feels a bit better.
-You serious?

-Yes. Good.
-Thank you.

You hungry?

Make this stop,

or I'll bring you and this whole place
down into the dirt.

And your cheap whore gods
along with you. You know I can.

Why else did you come here?

-I came to save my...
-You came as Rome's lackey.

But Rome is using you.

Not to swap peace for taxes,

or preserve our ways,
our faith, our gods.

Fuck your gods!

Your days are over, which reminds me,
your witch, Willa, was captured.

The General cut off her fingers.
She broke.

Now, he knows a lot more about you
than you'd like.

Rome only wants the Chosen One.

She's the only thing that Rome fears.

I'm not interested in fables
and prophecies.

Here's what I want. Pop off,
have a smoke, chat with the gods,

or whatever fucking bullshit it is
you do,

then tell Andra
the gods have changed their minds.

You did it for Rome.
Don't say you didn't.

You killed Pellenor
to buy more time with the Romans.

You did it for them. Now do it for me.

I cannot do such a thing.

I bet you can, you cunt.
I bet you fucking can.

You say you came here to save her.

If that's true, you must now go
to your death. Accept this sacrifice.

Oh, handy. It's handy for you.

Get me out of the way.

Well, mighty Veran, to do that,
I would need something.

Something I lost a long time ago.

-And what is that?
-My heart.

You once asked if I still had one.

But you knew the answer
because you took it from me,

many years ago.

Follow this path
and you will destroy her.

You're a whore.
It takes one to know one.

-Then your path is chosen.
-I will tell her everything!

Everything.

You're safe now.

You just have to rest. You're safe now.

Thank you.

-What's that?
-This is where we are.

Where we are now. Stuck.

You must sit at this point,
this nowhere point,

and beg the gods for guidance.

-Really?
-In complete silence. No interruptions.

Until sunset.

Now!

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Totally.

That's us, down there.
We used to be them.

Look at them.
Asleep with their eyes open.

They're having a nightmare.
Let's wake 'em up.

Oh, that is a such a good idea.

This taste funny to you?

Ever since I passed the White Cliffs,
everything I've eaten or drank

in this God forsaken rat hole
tastes of mud.

-Tastes a bit muddy.
-Well, there's a fucking surprise.

Go on. Drink up, maggots. Hurry up.

General Aulus. Is the General home?

Thought you'd be good at this.

Stealthy. In and out like a ghost.

I've drafted charges against you.
The column you dispatched.

It wasn't sent to guard
a supply caravan.

-Oh, I believe it was.
-I believe my spies.

It was seen heading west.
Towards the Devni.

-Well, that's weird.
-That's indictable.

Misleading an officer of the senate,
misuse of imperial forces.

It was a strategically
sensitive mission.

Extending our forces that far west
without authority is...

Is the key to this campaign.
The Devni lands.

It's how we win Britannia.

Really? How so?

-The Druids have a sacred lake.
-A lake?

It's their most secret and sacred place.

If I get that, no more Druids,
no more resistance.

The Druids again.

I'm sending this to the senate
before your failure stains me.

Tairus, Antiagus, Nazareth,

Veritas, Judea. Did I fail there?

Or did I win kingdoms' riches
and glory for Rome?

Those hell holes.
Those impossible conquests.

How did I do that now?
Because I know how to win.

Your triumphs were indeed noted.

Some thought them highly patriotic.

Others smelled something...

...zealous.

Devotion to a deeper,
more personal master than Rome.

What do you say?

Take your pick. I know one thing.

The senate loves success.

This lake, if it's so important,
why send your Cantii whore?

Because she has something in her heart.

Something that will
destroy their entire faith,

and everything they've built upon it.

What is it?

A lie.

It's such a lovely day.

Huh, now that you mention it, wow.

This is nice, too.

Making our stuff all clean and shiny.

I know. I normally hate doing this,
but it's actually very enjoyable.

Polishy.

-Polishy.
-Polish. Right.

Okay.

Sir? Sir, Sir.

Oh, it's you. Hello, there.

Sir, Tessera Maximus. He's...

Look, look.

Well, now that is first class.

Have you seen this?

Sir?

What in the name of all the gods
is going on?

Oi. How many fingers am I holding up?

Fuck off. I'm fine.
Been watching it all for an hour.

This is dark magic. Mark my words.

Listen, someone needs to ride a signal
to the legion.

Right.

Sod this for a game of soldiers.

No!

-Ah, fuck!
- Are you awake?

Can you remember anything? Your name?

I just can't.

I don't have a name either.

I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand.

I wanted to say to you...

I can't thank you enough for saving me.

What's this?

I don't know.

Perhaps there are more.

Perhaps we should look.

-Dear gods.
-What is it?

What's wrong?

What is it?

-Wake up!
-Fucking hell.

-You saw it, didn't you? By the river.
-What?

That's why he's here.
Why you didn't send him away.

-I might have.
-You bastard!

You made me sit by a fucking stick
all day in silence when you knew.

-For God's sake.
-I had to be sure.

It's a two foot-high fucking eagle.

-What part weren't you sure about?
-Ye gods, you're strong.

We don't know anything.
We need to wait. And watch.

Sister.

Have you spoken with Veran?

I do not need Veran to decide your fate.

I'm the Keeper of the Lake.

The gods speak with me also.

And what have the gods told you?

That to quell their anger...

..on the third dawn,

your skin will be stripped,
and your body burned.

Your ashes sealed and buried
at the foot of our tallest oak.

My sweet sister.

Veran...

Veran is a devil. A whore.

You will not change my mind, sister.

The Demon is Rome.

And you are the Demon's envoy.

Then, sister, grant me one final wish.

I feel air.

I can see the bits that make up air.

And I'm a part of it.

We're all a part of it.

I don't feel so good.

Every time I breathe,
I feel it enter me.

Or do I enter it?
Are me and it the same?

Is there an it?

Is there even a me?

Oh, shit!

Oh, hey.

All right?

How are we all getting on?

I know you from somewhere.

Your face.

I deserted your cohort,
and saved my arse.

And you got tortured.

But that's all in the past now.

Hey, Philo, how's it going
out there, man?

Oh...

I remember my family being murdered
when I was very young.

When the Romans came,
my father told me to sing.

Said I couldn't be hurt
if I sang this song.

So I sang.

He was right.

I survived.

I feel like that was happening to me
when you were saying that. Fuck.

I see what you're saying
but we can't let them out.

Them in there, us out here.

Only because of the bars, man.

The bars are important.
Keeps it... tidy.

-Tidy?
-I actually don't know anymore.

Maybe you're on the wrong side
of the bars.

Ever think of that? Open it.

You're only freeing yourselves.

-Makes sense.
-Fine by me.

You know what?
I think we did a good thing here.

No!

What happened to us? Witchcraft?

-I thought it was lovely.
-Me, too.

I felt some profound insights
that I can take into the rest of my...

Oh, shit!

Where are you fucking going?

Form up! Now! On me, I say.

Form up on me!

Fucking form up.

-Shit! Fuck! Form up.
-Fight!

Counter!

For the glory of Rome!

For the glory of Rome!

-Fuck this.
-Rufus! Oh, fuck!

You have until the sun is set.

Mother?

I've come home.

Are you a ghost?

That's right, Mummy. I'm a ghost.

Would you like to hear a story, Mummy?

One from long ago.

Once upon a time,
there was a little girl.

She wasn't any ordinary little girl.
She was a princess.

She lived with her mummy and daddy,
the king and queen,

and she loved them both very much.

Her mummy taught her how to dance
and sing.

Her daddy taught her how to ride
and hunt.

She was very happy.

And then the time came
for her Solstice rite.

She was to be a woman.

On the eve of her Solstice,
and when she was dressed in white,

face painted, lying in bed,
in silence...

..her daddy, the king, came to her.

And he raped her.

And one moon after that,
she became with child.

Her mother, the queen...

...she knew what had happened.

And she did nothing.

She said it was the will of the gods.

The girl was locked away
for many months after that,

until the child was born.

A beautiful baby girl.

They named her Andra.

When the child was three years old...

..a Druid came and took her away.

The princess didn't see
her child again until she was grown.

She was made to call her her sister.

And then, one day, she was packed away,

far away, to a distant tribe...
To marry a prince.

His name was Phelan, of the Cantii.

They knew that
if her secret was found out,

it would destroy everything.

Isca, the Devni,
the faith of our tribes.

The princess saw through all the lies.

And one question burned inside her.

"How could the gods allow this?"

The king died.

The queen...

..went slowly mad.

And Andra...

She became the Keeper of the Lake.

And nobody knew the truth.

Nobody except the queen,

the Druid, and the princess.

Poor little girl.

Poor little girl.

The dark is come.

The dark is come.

The dark is come!

Well played, brother.

Well played.