Brickleberry (2012–2015): Season 2, Episode 13 - A-Park-a-Lypse - full transcript

Connies gives birth to the anit-christ, setting off Mount Brickleberry which, as it turns out, is a volcano. Denzel immediately senses that something is wrong with the new baby. In an ...

- THE HUNTERS GOT YOUR MOTHER,
BABY EAGLE.

BUT YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY.

[gasps]
- [shrieks]

- MOUNT BRICKLEBERRY
IS A VOLCANO?

[rustling]

- THERE IS MUCH
ABOUT BRICKLEBERRY

YOU DO NOT KNOW,
ETHEL ANDERSON.

- HOW DID YOU KNOW
MY NAME?

- OUR GODS TELL US
MANY THINGS.

- ALSO, ONCE WE GOOGLE

"SPRING BREAK 2008
ANAL CREAMPIE,"



SAFE SEARCH OFF.
YOUR PICTURE COME UP.

- NICE TO MEET YOU
IN PERSON.

- CAN WE GET BACK TO THE PART
ABOUT THE VOLCANO, PLEASE?

- OUR TRIBE HAS LEGEND.

ONE DAY, BRICKLEBERRY
WILL BE NO MORE.

VOLCANO IS SIGN.

- COME WITH US TO
OUR PEOPLE'S MOST HOLY PLACE.

GODS CREATE BRICKLEBERRY.
HOPE IT LAST MANY SEASON.

- BUT ONE DAY,
GODS TIRE OF BRICKLEBERRY.

- SAY, ONCE PEOPLE
OF BRICKLEBERRY ENTERTAIN US,

MAKE US LAUGH.

NOW, NO ONE WATCH
THEIR ADVENTURES.

- SEASONS END.
GODS NOT RENEW.

- PEOPLE SAY, GODS,
BRING BACK BRICKLEBERRY.



START ONLINE PETITION.

GODS NOT LISTEN.

- IF OUR WORLD'S ABOUT TO END,
WHY DON'T YOU LOOK WORRIED?

- BECAUSE WE'RE LOOKING
AT THIS.

- WHOO! SPRING BREAK,
MOTHER[bleep]!

- [donkey brays]

- [screams]

- ♪ BRICKLEBERRY

- SO I SURVEYED THE VOLCANO
AND, SCIENTIFICALLY SPEAKING,

IT IS VERY UNLIKELY
TO ERUPT.

- WELL, I JUST WANNA SAY,
IF THAT THING DOES ERUPT,

WE WILL NOT EVACUATE!

- WELL, WE'LL KINDA HAVE TO.

- I...DON'T...EVACUATE.

I DIDN'T EVACUATE
DURING THE FOREST FIRES OF '96,

THE FLOOD OF '01,
OR THE--

- WAIT, I THOUGHT YOU SAID
YOU EVACUATED DURING KATRINA.

- NO, I SAID I EVACUATED
ON KATRINA.

GREAT GIRL, KATRINA.

I WOULD'VE MARRIED HER

IF SHE WASN'T SUCH A PRUDE
IN THE BEDROOM.

"NO ANAL"
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

- SORRY TO INTERRUPT,

BUT I'M GONNA NEED, LIKE,
A HALF DAY OFF TOMORROW...

TO GIVE BIRTH.

- [gasps]
- WHA-WHA-WHA-WHA-WHAT!

- YOU'RE PREGNANT?
- YEAH, FOR NINE MONTHS.

I CAN'T BELIEVE NONE OF YOU
NOTICED MY BABY BUMP.

- YOUR BODY HAS A LOTTA BUMPS.

WE CAN'T KEEP TRACK
OF WHAT THEY ALL ARE.

- WELL, THIS ONE'S A BABY.
WAIT.

NO, THIS ONE'S A BABY.

UH, I THINK.

- I'D LIKE TO MEET THE GUY
THAT HAD SEX WITH YOU.

IS HE STILL IN THERE?

- I'M A SURROGATE MOTHER,
SILLY.

HELPING A NICE GAY COUPLE
HAVE A BABY.

- HANG ON! Y'ALL IGNORING
THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM.

- WHAT? CONNIE NEVER GETS
THIS MUCH ATTENTION.

- HOW IS EVERYBODY SO CALM?
A VOLCANO'S ABOUT TO GO OFF,

AND CONNIE'S OBVIOUSLY
GIVING BIRTH TO THE ANTICHRIST.

IT'S THE END
OF THE MOTHER[bleep] WORLD!

- HERE HE GOES AGAIN.
- YEAH.

- DENZEL, LAST YEAR, YOU SAW
THE FACE OF THE ANTICHRIST

IN 12 DIFFERENT SLICES
OF BURNT TOAST.

- YEAH. MAYBE THE TOASTER
WAS SET ON "ANTI-CRUST."

- [laughing]
[bleep] YOU, TOASTER!

- LAUGH ALL YOU WANT,
BUT I KNOW THE ANTICHRIST.

WHEN I WAS YOUNG,
I SPENT A LOTTA TIME IN CHURCH,

AND MY PREACHER SAID
THE ANTICHRIST WAS REAL.

- [speaking in tongues]

ABBA ABBA FORAY
SEBA DOO-DAH SAH DAH DEY DEY.

OOHRA SULI RAH-DAH-DAH-DIDDY!

AAH DAH DA OH!

- AT LEAST,
THAT'S WHAT I THINK HE SAID.

- DENZEL,
YOU'RE BEING RIDICULOUS.

- ALL I'M SAYING IS,
VIRGIN BIRTH, NICE-LOOKING?

JESUS CHRIST.

VIRGIN BIRTH, CONNIE-LOOKING?
ANTICHRIST.

- UH, GUYS?
I THINK MY...

YEP, MY WATER BROKE.

all: UGH!

- CONNIE,
YOUR BABY'S GAY PARENTS

SHOULD BE ON THEIR WAY
TO THE HOSPITAL NOW.

- OH, GOOD.

- UH, THEY SHOULD BE,

BUT THEY JUST DIED
IN A HILARIOUS CAR ACCIDENT.

- WHAT!
OH, NO.

- DON'T FRET, CONNIE.

IT'S VERY EASY
TO SELL A WHITE BABY.

KA-CHING!

- NO, I'M KEEPING IT.

- WELL, GOOD FOR YOU.

AND BAD FOR DUBAI'S
OPEN AIR BABY-SLAVE MARKET.

NOW, CONNIE, LABOR CAN SOMETIMES
TAKE 24 TO 48 HOURS.

SO PREPARE YOURSELF
FOR A LONG--

- WHOA!
[baby crying]

- DAMN IT, BODEAN.

I TOLD YOU TO PACK OUR SHIT,
NOT OUR SHEEP!

- OH, HEY, WOODY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

AIN'T YOU SUPPOSED
TO BE EVACUATING LIKE US?

- BOYS, YOU KNOW
I DON'T EVACUATE.

I LAUGH IN THE FACE
OF HURRICANES, EARTHQUAKES,

GODZILLA, EVEN NICKI MINAJ.

BUT JUST BETWEEN US,
I'M TERRIFIED OF VOLCANOES.

- WHY'S THAT?

- HAVE YOU EVER HEARD
OF POMPEII?

- YEAH, I CAUGHT THAT
BY SCREWING BOBBY'S SISTER.

- YEAH.
SHE GAVE IT TO ME TOO.

- NO, YOU IDIOTS.

POMPEII WAS AN ANCIENT CITY
THAT WAS DESTROYED BY A VOLCANO.

THE PEOPLE
WERE ALL COVERED WITH LAVA,

FROZEN FOREVER DOING WHATEVER
THEY WERE DOING WHEN THEY DIED.

WHAT IF I GET COVERED
WITH LAVA

WHILE I'M DOING
SOMETHING EMBARRASSING?

LIKE THIS GUY.
- THAT'S HOW MY DADDY WENT.

WE HAD TO HAVE
A CLOSED CASKET.

- FOCUS, HILLBILLIES!

NOW I CAN'T HAVE
NO ARCHAEOLOGIST OF THE FUTURE

FINDING ME AND THINKING
I'M SOME KIND OF PERV

JUST 'CAUSE A VOLCANO GOT ME
WHILE I WAS MILKING MY PROSTATE.

FOR HEALTH REASONS.

BOYS, CAN YOU BUILD ME
A SECRET VOLCANO-PROOF BUNKER?

- WE ALREADY GOT ONE.

WE BUILT IT TO SURVIVE
THE OBAMA-LYPSE.

- THIS IS MY BEAUTIFUL BABY.
HIS NAME IS DONNIE.

- AWW!
- WHAT A PRETTY NAME!

- THANKS.
I GOT IT OUT OF A BOOK.

I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO
GO THROUGH THE OTHER BOOK.

- "BACARDI, LISTERINE,
ARUGULA."

- OH, THERE'S MY SHOPPING LIST.
[laughs]

NOW, CONNIE,
I'M SORRY ABOUT THIS,

BUT FEDERAL GUIDELINES DICTATE

THAT I DON'T HAVE
TO LET YOU BREASTFEED AT WORK

UNLESS YOU GOT A REAL SWEET SET
OF MILKIES.

- WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY BOOBS?

- BESIDES THE FACT THAT YOU ALSO
HAVE A BACK SET?

- AAH! ANTICHRIST!
ANTICHRIST!

- THIS IS GOING TOO FAR,
DENZEL!

- THAT BABY'S EVIL.
I'LL PROVE IT!

- HOW?
- THROUGH SCIENCE.

[cocks gun]

IF I SHOOT IT IN THE FACE
AND IT LIVES, IT'S THE DEVIL.

- OKAY! OKAY!

SHOOT IT
IF IT WILL SHUT YOU UP.

- NO!

I THOUGHT YOU WERE
MY FRIEND, DENZEL!

HOW COULD YOU SAY THOSE
HORRIBLE THINGS ABOUT MY BABY?

[crying]

- IT'S JUST A BABY, DENZEL.

- THIS HAS GOT TO STOP.
YOU REALLY UPSET CONNIE.

- NEXT TIME DON'T HESITATE.
AIM FOR THE FONTANELLE.

- ALL RIGHT! ENOUGH WITH
THE BLACK BABY NAMES.

I GUESS I SHOULD APOLOGIZE
TO CONNIE AND DONNIE.

- LEAVE THE GUN!
- FINE!

CONNIE, I'M SORRY...

- [farts]

- UH, DONNIE, I'M NOT GOOD
AT THIS APOLOGY STUFF, BUT...

I'M SORRY I SAID
YOU WERE THE ANTICHRIST.

MAYBE WHEN YOU GROW UP
A LITTLE, YOU AND I CAN--

- [demonic voice]
APOLOGY ACCEPTED.

- OH, THANKS, DONNIE.
YOU'RE PRETTY COOL.

WAIT, YOU CAN TALK?

- DENZEL, I'M GOING
TO RIP OUT YOUR DICK

AND FEED IT
TO THE DEMONS OF HELL!

[growling]

- [screaming]

- ♪ OH, WHO'S MY CUTE BABY?

♪ YOU'RE MY CUTE BABY!

♪ I LOVE MY CUTE BABY

♪ 'CAUSE HE'S A CUTE BABY!

♪ CUTE, CUTE, CUTE, CUTE,
BABY, BABY, CUTE! ♪

♪ LOVE HIM! CUTE!

- HE SAID HE WAS GOING
TO RIP MY DICK OFF

AND FEED IT TO A DEMON.

HE THE GODDAMN
ANTICHRIST!

- SERIOUSLY?
THAT SOUNDS HORRIFYING!

I'M ABOUT
TO EAT A HOT POCKET.

YOU WANT TO DOUBLE-CHECK
IT'S NOT BEELZEBUB

BEFORE I POP IT
IN THE MICROWAVE?

- HOT POCKET!
[all laughing]

YOU'RE FAT!

- OKAY, THEN WHY DOES
THAT HAPPEN?

- [humming]

- THERE'S A SIMPLE SCIENTIFIC
EXPLANATION, DENZEL.

CLEARLY, PESTICIDES HAVE
BUILT UP IN THE GROUNDWATER.

[Donnie crying]

[birds chirping]

[birds shrieking]

- AND HOW DOES SCIENCE
EXPLAIN THAT SHIT?

- THERE ARE SEVERAL
AVIAN DISORDERS

THAT CAN CAUSE BIRDS
TO DIE MID-FLIGHT.

- OH, YEAH?
WELL, WHAT ABOUT THAT?

- HEY, LOOK!

IT'S A SUNNY CIRCLE
AND A HAPPY STAR!

- AWW.
- YEP.

- THAT SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT.
- AW, COME ON!

- YOU CAN STAY WITH ME
IN THE BUNKER, CUBSIE WUBSIE.

EVERYONE ELSE WILL
DIE IN A FIRESTORM OF LAVA.

- WHY DON'T WE JUST MOVE,
YOU [bleep] MANIAC!

- AND VOO-LA!
OUR TOP SECRET BUNKER.

- SO IS THIS THE ELEVATOR
TO THE BUNKER?

- ARE YOU SURE THIS THING
IS VOLCANO-PROOF?

- OH, IT'S EVERYTHING-PROOF.

KEEPS OUT ZOMBIES,
DRACULAS, DRAGONS...

- AND JEWS.

- HOT DOG!
IT'S LIKE A DREAM COME TRUE!

- AND ONCE THIS DOOR
IS CLOSED,

IT CAN'T EVER BE OPENED
FROM THE OUTSIDE.

EVER.
I MEAN, EV-ER.

- UH-OH, BOBBY.

I THINK WE PUT THE DOOR
ON BACKWARDS.

- HOLY SHIT!

YOU MEAN WE'RE TRAPPED
IN HERE FOREVER?

- OH, NO, NOT FOREVER.
JUST TILL WE DIE.

- WELL, THANKS FOR BOOSTING
MY SPIRITS, [bleep]FACE!

- STEVE,
YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND.

JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE TO PROVE
WHAT THAT BABY REALLY IS.

- [groans]
NOT THIS AGAIN.

- COME ON, STEVE!

THIS VOLCANO BLEW ITS TOP
ON THE DAY DONNIE WAS BORN.

IT'S A SIGN
OF THE APOCALYPSE!

LOOK AT THE CLOUDS
AROUND IT!

[ominous music]

- ALL I SEE IS AN ELEPHANT
FLYING AN AIRPLANE AND--

WAIT, WHAT'S THAT?
A GIRAFFE WITH TITTIES.

- DAMN, YOU STUPID, STEVE.

- HEY, CONNIE.
HOW'S THE BABY?

- I'VE COME TO REALIZE

THAT DONNIE IS DIFFERENT
FROM OTHER BABIES.

- IT'S ABOUT TIME!
WE GOTTA KILL--

- HE'S GIFTED!
HE'S SO SMART,

HE LIKES WATCHING BABY EINSTEIN
VIDEOS BACKWARDS.

LOOK.

- KILL, KILL, KILL.

SA--SA-TAN.

- SATAN.
MY SWEET SATAN.

- IT'S WEIRD.

I LEARN AS MUCH FROM DONNIE
AS HE LEARNS FROM ME.

LIKE TODAY, HE'S BEEN
TEACHING ME BIBLICAL ARAMAIC!

- AL ES-BATAAR QUMRAN
ISKATU RAKANOTH!

- ISN'T HE THE CUTIE-WUTEST?

- SO, UM, CONNIE?

HOW EXACTLY
WAS THIS BABY CONCEIVED?

- IT WAS A PRETTY STANDARD
ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION.

- OKAY, MY DEAR,
THIS WON'T TAKE A MINUTE.

[all chanting]
AVE SATANAS! SANGUIS BIBIMUS!

- [roaring]

- OH, HELL, NO.

YOU GUYS ARE MESSING
WITH ME, RIGHT?

- THANKS FOR COMING BY,
BUT I GOTTA FEED DONNIE NOW.

- SO WE'RE STUCK DOWN HERE
THE REST OF OUR LIVES?

- AT LEAST YOU'RE OLD
AND NEAR DEATH.

THINK OF ME.

- GREAT! WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED
TO DO NOW?

- REPOPULATE THE EARTH!
WHO WANTS SOME?

- ANYTHING ELSE WE CAN DO?

- I DID INSTALL
AN ACTIVITY CENTER.

WHO WANTS TO PLAY SORRY?

- UH, BOBBY?
ALL THE PIECES ARE MISSING.

- DAMN YOU, GOODWILL!

- OH, YOU TWO MORONS
ARE REALLY FIRING UP

MY IRRITABLE BOWEL SYNDROME.

NOW WHERE'S THE SHITTER
IN THIS TOOTINCOMMON TOOL SHED?

- OH, IT'S RIGHT OVER--
UH, UH, EH...

SHIT!
WHERE IS THE BATHROOM?

- WELL, REMEMBER, BOBBY,

YOU DECIDED TO GO
WITH THE CROWN MOLDING

INSTEAD OF THE TOILET.

- WELL, SOMEBODY'S GOTTA THINK
ABOUT RESALE VALUE.

- NO BATHROOM?
I'VE GOT TO GO!

- TRY TO TAKE YOUR MIND
OFF OF IT.

HERE, HAVE A SNACK.

- WE GOT PRUNES, COFFEE,
REFRIED BEANS.

AND FOR DESSERT WE GOT THEM
CHOCOLATE EX-LAX CANDIES.

- [grunts]

- SORRY I DOUBTED YOU, DENZEL.
- DON'T SWEAT IT.

WE JUST NEED SOME HELP FROM...
PREACHER VERNON?

- EH?

- THE ANTICHRIST HAS COME.
JUST LIKE YOU SAID.

- I SAID THAT?
- UH, KIND OF.

- WHAT SHOULD WE DO?

- LET ME SEE
WHAT THE SNAKES SAY.

[snakes hissing]

OH, HE LIKE TO BITE.
GOTTA PUT HIM BACK.

THEY SAY...
WE GOT TO DO A EXORCISM.

- DID YOU SAY "EXORCISM"?

- I DON'T KNOW.

I GOT A LOT OF SNAKE VENOM-
RELATED BRAIN MALFUNCTION.

WHERE AM I?

WHO PUT THESE SNAKES
IN MY PANTS?

- ♪ OLD MACDONALD HAD A FARM,
E-I-E-I-O! ♪

♪ AND ON THIS FARM,
HE HAD A... ♪

- CACODAEMON.

- CACODAEMON? OKAY.

♪ WITH A...
- [demonic growl]

- ♪ HERE, AND A...
- [demonic growl]

- ♪ THERE. HERE A...
- [demonic growl]

- ♪ THERE A...
- [demonic growl]

- ♪ EVERYWHERE A...
- [demonic growl]

- ♪ OLD MACDONALD HAD A FARM

both: ♪ E-I-E-I-O!

- OH, ANTICHRISTS LOVE
OLD MACDONALD.

JUST LIKE IT SAY
IN THE BIBLE.

- OKAY. WE GOT HOLY WATER,
SHARPENED STAKES,

AND A DVD OF EVIL DEAD 3
FOR HIM TO SIGN.

WE READY.

- BUT WHAT CHANCE
DO THE THREE OF US HAVE

AGAINST THE PRINCE OF EVIL?

- THE FOUR OF US.
I'M IN.

- I THOUGHT
YOU ONLY BELIEVED IN SCIENCE.

- OH, I DID,
THEN I BABY-SAT LITTLE DONNIE.

HE PUKED UP
A GIANT LIZARD BAT,

THEN SAID SOMETHING ABOUT MY MOM
SUCKING [bleep] IN HELL.

[bleep] SCIENCE.
LET'S EXORCISE THAT BITCH!

- ALL RIGHT!
EVERYBODY GRAB A SNAKE!

NOW LADY, FEEL FREE TO GRAB
THE ONE-EYED BLACK ONE,

BUT DON'T YOU DARE
TOUCH MY PENIS.

THAT BELONG TO JESUS.

- HI, CONNIE, I--

- SHH! IT'S LITTLE DONNIE'S
NAP TIME.

HE CAN'T SLEEP
UNLESS I PLAY CLASSICAL MUSIC.

[ominous music]



IT'S BECAUSE
HE'S SO INTELLIGENT.

DO YOU WANT TO HOLD HIM?

[demonic growl]

- NO!

[music stops]

I MEAN,
I JUST CAME TO TELL YOU

THE WHOLE GANG SPRANG
FOR A SPA DAY FOR YOU!

BECAUSE YOU MUST BE SO TIRED
FROM TAKING CARE OF A NEWBORN,

NOT EVIL BABY.

- [groans]
I AM PRETTY WORN OUT.

DONNIE DRANK MOST
OF MY BLOOD FOR LUNCH.

- MMM!

WELL, STEVE AND DENZEL
AND THEIR FRIEND

CAN'T WAIT TO TAKE CARE
OF DONNIE.

- WELL, MAYBE
FOR A FEW MINUTES.

I'M SO EXCITED!

I CAN'T BELIEVE KATE UPTON
HAS A SIDE BUSINESS

WHERE SHE GIVES
EROTIC MASSAGES TO COMPLETION.

- YEP.
SHE'LL BE HERE ANY MINUTE.

JUST RELAX.

LET'S GET RID OF THOSE
PUFFY BAGS UNDER YOUR EYES!

[light saber sound effects]

- ZAP, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM.
- ZZZZZ!

WOO WOO WOO!
- ZIBBY ZAP ZAP ZAP.

- SHOOM. BOOM!
- BOOM, ZAM.

- BRING IT ON, DARTH,
YOU BIG BLACK SON OF A BITCH.

- [mimicking filtered breathing]

LUKE, I AM YOUR DADDY.

- NO. WAIT.
ARE YOU SERIOUS, BOBBY?

- I'MA KILL YOU!
I'MA KILL YOU!

- [bleep] YOU!

GET OFF ME!
GET OFF ME!

- THIS IS DEFINITELY BETTER
THAN THOSE HORRIBLE PREQUELS.

- [grunts]
I'M PRAIRIE DOGGING.

- QUIET! LUKE'S ABOUT
TO BITE ANAKIN'S NOSE OFF.

- OH, I GOTTA
TAKE A SHIT SO BIG

KIM KARDASHIAN
MAY TRY TO MARRY IT.

I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE.

[yelling]

AHA!
HA HA HA HA HA!

UH-OH.

- THIS IS IT?

YOU FOUR THINK
YOU CAN STOP ME?

- DON'T LISTEN TO HIM.

HE'LL USE HIS LIES TO TRY
TO MAKE US TURN ON EACH OTHER.

- THE PREACHER SAID
YOU'RE A PUSSY.

- WHAT?

- WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
- LIKE THAT.

THAT'S A GOOD EXAMPLE
OF WHAT WE SHOULDN'T LET HIM DO.

- [laughing]

- OH, LAUGH NOW, ANTICHRIST.
BECAUSE SURPRISE!

WE'VE ASSEMBLED
AN EXORCISM DREAM TEAM!

FATHER QUINN!

- I'M GOING TO NEED TO BE ALONE
WITH THE CHILD.

YOU DON'T HAVE
A NANNY CAM, RIGHT?

- RABBI MALTZMAN!
- NO, NO.

YOU STAY IN THERE, DEMON.
AS LONG AS YOU'RE COMFORTABLE.

I SCHLEPPED ALL THE WAY HERE
FROM BROOKLYN.

BUT DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.

- AND WITCH DOCTOR KUZNIAK!

- LUCKY FOR US, I WENT
TO MEDICAL SCHOOL IN HAITI.

- AND JORGE,
WHO'S SEEN THE EXORCIST

7 1/2 TIMES
AND LET US USE HIS CAR.

- I'M NOT WITH THEM!
I'M ON YOUR SIDE!

- JORGE, SHUT UP.

- COME ON,
LET ME SELL YOU MY SOUL.

I'LL SIGN WHATEVER CONTRACT
BEN AFFLECK SIGNED.

WHATEVER!

- [sighs]
I WAS UP FOR A CHALLENGE.

THIS IS GOING TO BE
FAR TOO EASY.

- THE POWER OF CHRIST
COMPELS YOU!

THE POWER OF CHRIST
COMPELS YOU!

- SHUT UP.

[all exclaim]

SO WHO WANTS TO CHOOSE
HOW I WILL KILL THE REST OF YOU?

- BLOWJOBBED TO DEATH?

- YOU GOT IT.
BY RABID HELL HOUNDS.

AND HERE WE--

[crying]

- I'M GOING TO WRITE KATE UPTON
A NOT-SO-NICE YELP REVIEW.

ETHEL, WHAT THE HELL'S
GOING ON HERE?

- WE'RE DOING AN EXORCISM
ON YOUR CRAZY-ASS DEVIL BABY!

- AND WE ALMOST GOT BLOWJOBS,
UNTIL YOU SHOWED UP!

- CONNIE, WE'VE GOT
TO TRUST THE LORD.

JUST LIKE IT SAY
IN THE BIBLE:

"IF THE EXORCISM
DON'T GO SO BUENO,

THROW THAT GODDAMN BABY
IN A VOLCANO." HA!

- WHAT? NO!

- SORRY, CONNIE,

BUT IT'S THE ONLY WAY
TO STOP THE APOCALYPSE.

- YOU'RE LUCKY
WE GOT A VOLCANO RIGHT HERE.

MOST PEOPLE WITH DEVIL BABIES
GOTTA PAY

FOR A PLANE TICKET TO HAWAII.

- SCREW YOU GUYS!
COME ON, DONNIE.

I'LL PROTECT YOU,
I PROMISE!

- GET HER!
THAT BABY OWES US BLOWJOBS!

- ♪ RUN AWAY WITH CUTE BABY!

♪ THEY'RE TRYING
TO KILL MY CUTE BABY! ♪

♪ CUTE, CUTE, CUTE, CUTE

♪ SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT

I BET THEY'LL NEVER FIND ME HERE
AT THE TOP OF THE VOLCANO.

AH, CRAP.

- YOU'VE GOT TO THROW
THE BABY IN, CONNIE.

HE'S THE DEVIL!
- NEVER!

DONNIE IS A PERFECTLY
NORMAL BABY!

- MOM?
- WHAT IS IT, HONEY?

- I'VE GOT SOMETHING THAT'S KIND
OF HARD FOR ME TO TELL YOU.

I'M...

- GAY?
- NO, I'M THE SON OF SATAN.

- OH, THAT'S A RELIEF.
- I WAS AFRAID YOU'D--

- GET MAD AND THROW YOU
IN A VOLCANO?

DONNIE, I LOVE YOU
NO MATTER WHAT YOU ARE.

I'M YOUR MOTHER.

- CONNIE, HE JUST TOLD YOU
HE'S SATAN'S SON!

WHAT DOES IT TAKE, LADY?

- I GOT THIS.

AWW.

HOW COULD I SEPARATE
A MAMA AND HER BABY?

LIKE THIS!

- [grunts]

AHHH!

- [gulps]

- NOOOO!

[crying]

[Satanic laughter]

- OKAY, HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED.

IT ACTUALLY SAYS HERE,

"DO NOT THROW A DEVIL BABY
IN A VOLCANO."

DO NOT.

OKAY, I'M GONNA BE HONEST.

AIN'T NO WORDS
IN THIS BOOK.

- DAMN IT, VERNON!

- NEVER LISTEN TO A MAN
DRUNK ON SNAKE VENOM.

JUST LIKE IT SAY RIGHT HERE
IN THE BIBLE.

- LET THE APOCALYPSE BEGIN!

[laughing]

- OH, SHIT!

- [Satanic laughter]

[all growling]

[both screaming]

- NO, NO, NO!

I SAID, "PUT IT IN HER COOTER,
THEN HER POOTER."

- OHHH!

- THERE!

THANK YOU, PRUNES.
I THINK WE'RE OKAY.

[all yelling]

- OH, WELL.

BRICKLEBERRY LAST MORE SEASON
THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD.

- I GUESS THIS IS IT, GUYS.

- DENZEL, I HAVE SOMETHING
TO CONFESS.

I ATE ONE OF YOUR KIT KATS
A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO.

- OH, WE EVEN.
I [bleep] YOUR GRANDMOTHER.

- ETHEL, I HAVE TO CONFESS.

I MAY HAVE GIVEN YOU
A FEW UNNECESSARY PELVIC EXAMS.

- EVERY STRIPPER
IN MY CLUB HAS A DONG.

- EVEN THE ONE THAT GAVE ME
A TUG JOB ON MY BIRTHDAY?

- [laughing]

ESPECIALLY THAT ONE!
HOO! SHE'S GOT A BIGGY!

- I LOVE YOU GUYS.

- DONALD SUTHERLAND CUNAMAN!

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING,
YOUNG MAN?

I DID NOT RAISE YOU
TO END CREATION!

- MOM!
- YOU CUT IT OUT, RIGHT NOW!

- YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME
IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS!

- WELL, IF THEY ONLY LIKE YOU

BECAUSE YOU'RE CAUSING
THE APOCALYPSE,

THEY'RE NOT REAL FRIENDS,
ARE THEY?

- MOM!

- I'M GOING TO COUNT TO THREE.
ONE...TWO...

- [sighs]
FINE! WHATEVER!

SORRY, GUYS,
MY MOM IS BEING LAME.

WE'LL DO THIS LATER,

LIKE AFTER SHE DIES
ON AUGUST 30, 2042.

- I'M PROUD OF YOU, SON.

- I GOTTA GO, MOM.
I KINDA BELONG DOWN THERE.

- MY LITTLE BABY'S
ALL GROWN UP.

- SEE YOU IN HELL, MA.
- SEE YOU IN HELL, SON.

- [growls]

- THE APOCALYPSE IS OVER!
WE'RE SAVED!

[all cheering]

- BUT WHERE'S
WOODY AND MALLOY?

- THIS NEXT EXHIBIT WAS FOUND

IN THE ANCIENT RUINS
OF BRICKLEBERRY PARK.

THESE THREE PEOPLE
AND A SMALL BEAR

WERE COVERED BY LAVA
WHEN A VOLCANO ERUPTED

WHILE THEY WERE HAVING
WHAT APPEARS TO BE A GAY ORGY.

THE BRICKLEBERRY FOUR-WAY
IS ALL WE KNOW

ABOUT WHAT LIFE WAS LIKE
IN THE 21ST CENTURY.

- HMM. IT MUST HAVE BEEN
A PARADISE.

- WE BELIEVE IT WAS.
WE BELIEVE IT WAS.

- OW!

[upbeat music]