Breaking Bad (2008–2013): Season 2, Episode 3 - Bit by a Dead Bee - full transcript

Walt and Jesse try to come up with alibis for their disappearances.

Okay. That's okay.

Get that.


-Oh, God. Please.
-Oh, jeez.



It's a bold plan, Mr. White.

You sure this is the way to go?



You see that?

-What does he remember?
-Not a whole lot.

He came in dehydrated
and disoriented...

...but once we gave him fluids
he stabilised pretty quickly.

But I mean....

-He knows where he is?
-Oh, yes, yes. Absolutely.

It's only the last day or so
that seem to be missing.

Go on in. He's probably awake.

My God.


I'm so sorry.

Come here.

You know who I am, right?

Yes, son. I know who you are.

Come here. Give your old man a hug.

It's so good to see you.

How do you feel?


Yeah. I....

I feel like myself.

Really, I mean, in....

The past couple days are missing,
but other than that...

...I feel fine.

My God, Walt.

What a day this has been.

So, Uncle Hank,
he was in a shootout?

A shootout?

He killed some guy.
Some big drug dealer.

Uncle Hank wasted him.

-Oh, my God. Is he all right?
-Absolutely fine.

-Where did this happen? How could--?
-Walt, everything's okay.

And no idea what caused it?


But they're gonna run
a whole series of tests, so....

But what could it be? I mean, did they
give you a worst-case scenario?

I really....

You know, there's no point
in getting ahead of ourselves, so....

Well, which supermarket?

Is it, like, a big one? Like, a chain?

-I.... Don't get me wrong.

I think it's just great that, you know,
he's back and he's feeling better.

I just, I mean....

He.... Naked?

He was naked.


In a supermarket.

It wasn't Whole Foods, was it?

In any case, I'm gonna get over there
as soon as I can.

No, no. Don't worry about it
right now, Marie.

How's Hank?

You know, I ran over here
and I got to see him all of...

...30 seconds
before they yanked him away.

You know, you'd think today
of all days...

...they'd let him go home on time.

But how is he? Really?


He's indestructible, you know that.

I identified myself and told the suspect
to show his hands, turn and face me.

At this point, I identified
the suspect as Mr. Salamanca...

...and observed what appeared to be
a gunshot wound in his midsection.

-He was shot previous to your arrival?
-Yes, sir.

Again I instructed him
to show his hands.

Mr. Salamanca lunged
toward the vehicle...

...and fired on me with what I
ascertained to be an M16 assault rifle.

I returned fire and sought cover... Mr. Salamanca proceeded
to engage me.

When he paused to reload...

...I was able to take
an effective shot.

Agent Schrader...

...what were you doing in a shooting
fight on your own, with no backup?

Mr. Salamanca's presence
was not something I'd anticipated.

-I was tending to another matter.
-What other matter?

An unrelated family matter.

Searching for your brother-in-law,
as I understand.

-Your brother-in-law?
-Yes, sir. He's since been found.

He's fine. The whole thing
was a misunderstanding.

At the time, he'd been missing
for hours...

...and since he's in poor health,
the whole family was concerned.

I was talking to his acquaintances...

...trying to get a fix
on his whereabouts.

The Monte Carlo at the scene
belonged to a former student of his...

...a Jesse Pinkman.

I was tracking down Mr. Pinkman's car
when I came across Mr. Salamanca.

And what about this Pinkman? What
was his car doing at the crime scene?

-Have you run him down yet?
-Not yet, but we're working on it.

Man, they're like
Jehovah's Witnesses.

They don't give up.

I don't get it. Why don't they
kick your door down?

-They need probable cause.
-Probable cause?

Yo, what did you do? Rob a bank?

I told you, this is serious shit.

I'm like an outlaw.


Let's do this.

Holy Christ!

You're Willy Wonka.

You are Willy Wonka,
and I got the golden ticket.

Put me on your magical boat, man.

Sail me down
your chocolaty river of meth.

So where you keep the pseudo?

It's a P2P cook. That barrel?
Aqueous methylamine.

With that, you don't need pseudo.
Come on, help me out, man.

No pseudo?

Come to me, beautiful baby.
I'm gonna be so good to you.

Oh, my God. Just take this, here.

But I can't just let you
break this down.

-That'd be sacrilege.
-I told you, that's why we're here.

-You saw the cops. Right?

But couldn't we just
cook one quick batch?

-You know, for the road?
-No, forget it, all right?

-This stuff has to go, like, now.
-Dude, you owe me.

I mean, we're cool, but I ain't
forgetting you just left me stranded.

God, Badger!

Don't mess with me.

Got it?

Yeah, I got it.

Oh, my God.

Okay, that's all of it.

This was a bad choice.

You sure about this guy?

He's totally, totally cool.

He's my cousin.

-Yo, what'd we say, 500?
-We didn't say, and it's 1000.

Thousand bucks?

Come on, where you towing it,
man, Seattle?

It ain't the miles, it's the cargo.

Look, I mean, all I got on me is...


-You know what?
-Hey-- No--

Clovis, he'll pay you the rest later.

He's totally good for it.
Jesse's a stand-up dude.

-That right? You a stand-up dude?
-Yeah, I am.

I will get you the other 500.

Five hundred more.

Your word's your bond, right?


I saved your skinny ass, yo.
I totally vouched for you.

What are you doing now, exactly?

I'm giving you, like, two hours...

...and then I'm calling on a pay phone,
not a cell phone.

You're not using your own name.

I mean, obviously. Look, dude, I'll do,
like, what you said, but why?

Why do you gotta go and do this?

They need probable cause.

I'm giving it to them.

What's the last thing
you remember?

Well, I was driving home.

I think.


Do you remember coming home?

You came in, and I asked
why you were out of breath?

You don't remember talking to me
when I was in the bathtub?

No, I'm sorry, I don't.

-Nothing else? No fleeting images?
-Well, no. I....

I was--

I was walking down some road
or highway...

...with a lot of headlights...

...and I remember feeling fear.

-That's it.
-All right. Thank you.

Well, there's definitely
some good news here.

The MRI shows no metastases.

Meaning the cancer
hasn't spread to the brain?

Yeah, we're looking really good.

Oh, thank God.

So, what was it, then?

-There's no sign of stroke or seizure.
-And considering your condition...

...the blood panel looks good.

Then what are we talking about?
What happened?

As of right now, we really...

...can't say.

Forgive me.
Granted, this is not my field...

...but isn't it possible
that this had something to do...

...with all the prescriptions
I've been taking?

There's the antiemetic...

...the antitussive...

...the this, the that.
Not to mention the chemo itself.

And being off all of them
for the past few days, I have to say...

...l'm feeling much better.

Yeah, and, you know, when we pick up
these medications...

...the information sheets
are as long as your arm.

I mean, it's page after page
of side effects and warnings.

Right, exactly.
Could it be that simple?

Well, we'll take
another look at that, sure.

Walt, I understand that you've been
kind of stressed out lately.

Stressed out? l--

-No, I don't think I'm--
-Walt, please.

Stressed out is putting it...


Well, I guess I've had a lot
on my mind lately, but as I've said...

...l'm feeling much better.

Shouldn't we be talking
about when I can get out of here?

Well, that may still be
a ways down the road.

A ways down the road?

Actually, I think our next move
is to schedule a psychiatric evaluation.

Now, is that absolutely necessary?

Nobody likes being in the hospital.
I get that.

But until we know
what caused this incident...

...we can't be certain it won't recur.

-That your last hit?

Finish it quick.

Show your hands.
Get on your stomach now.

Get on your stomach now!
Get over. Roll! Do it now!

I'm going, I'm going.

What's going on?

What did I do?

Jesse Pinkman, I presume.

-What, man?
-Tell me again.


What's there to tell, okay?
Her and I were partying, that's it.

Since Saturday night?
Partying for three days straight.

Just bumping uglies and smoking that
crystal you got from your pal, Tuco?

Taco? I don't know any Taco...

...and I damn sure didn't say
anything about no crystal.

Three days,
you must have got hungry.

Yeah, I guess.

-You order take-out?

Yeah, where from?

You get yourself a little
of that moo goo gai pan...

...from that chink place
around the corner?

No, no, we didn't. We got stuff
from the vending machine.

You know, Funyuns.

I had a Hot Pocket.

Funyuns and Hot Pockets?

You didn't notice your car
was gone?

No, not until you guys went
and busted down the door.

Now, who's gonna pay for that, huh?

Management's gonna
be on my ass for sure.

-You weren't answering your phone.
-It was in my car.

-That right?

We found your car...

...but your phone wasn't in it.

You found my car?

You found my car?

Awesome. DEA all the way. Yes.

Since we're talking
about missing property, did you...?

Did you leave anything else
in the car?

Like what?

Like what? Like....

I don't know. Like this?

Sixty-seven thousand, nine hundred
and 20 dollars.

That's not mine.

That's not yours?

He says it's not his, Gomie.

Gee, I really thought
this might be yours.

-I wish.
-Unclaimed drug money, huh? Nice.

You know what we got here,
Gomie, don't you?

That's a new interdiction van
right there, yeah.

Definitely new softball jerseys,
because we need them.

Good thing Tuco's already dead.

I lost this kind of money,
I'd wanna kill myself.

So who's your chief, little Injun?


-What does that even mean?
-I think your story's bullshit.

I think you know
who Tuco Salamanca was.

Your car was there
because you were there.

Tuco had a bullet in him when I
got there and you know about that too.

So, what are you saying?

I shot someone?

-With, like, a gun?


Only shooting you do
is into a Kleenex.

But I think you know
the badass who did.

Look, I was partying with Wendy,

Funyuns and boom-boom.


I don't think so.

Tell you what. We're gonna...

...go talk to that skinny yeast factory
of a girlfriend you got.

And you know what?

I got a feeling she's gonna, you know,
roll on you.

Don't go nowhere.

Where's my root beer? Come on.
I gotta pee, and I got low blood sugar.

-I got medical issues.
-Medical issues?

Like, what kind of medical issues?

You got penis withdrawal?

You got schlongus interruptus?

Wendy, listen. Talk to me...

...and you get a root beer
and a tinkle.

-Tell me the last three days.
-I told you...

...we were shacked up
since Saturday.

Neither of you left the room?
Not even for a little, little minute?

Not even for a second?

For a second? I don't know, maybe.


Did Jesse leave the room?

He did, didn't he?

Wendy, you can do it.
You can do it, Wendy.

Wendy, Wendy, Wendy.

You know you wanna go back
to giving windys, Wendy.

It's you. I know you.

You're the one in the black truck.
You wanted me to do that kid.

-The kid with the crutches.

-The football player.
-How about we stay on topic?

Look, Jesse came over to the palace
at 11:00 Saturday night.

We were together the whole time,
and he never left the room.

And that's all I'm saying about that.

Now, come on.

Where's my root beer?

You wanted her to bang
a football player, pervert?

It's a long story, Gomie.

I'm sure it is, and I wanna hear it,
but first we gotta kick Pinkman loose.

Not yet. I got one more shot
at that little skid mark.

And how are you sleeping?

Fine. Most nights.


Have you noticed
any recurring thoughts or images...

...things you can't
get out of your head?

How about feelings of guilt
or persecution?

No. Look, doctor,
I don't mean to be rude...

...but where is this going, exactly?

We're starting a process, Walt.
An ongoing process.

-Do you prefer Walt or Walter?
-Ongoing for how long?

I just met you. Hard to say.

We could be talking about days,
weeks, months.

Look, doctor, I feel fine, really.


...if this is truly necessary,
can't I continue as an outpatient?


...a fugue state
is a very serious event.

What if you were to disassociate
while driving?

Get into a situation...

...where you could be shot
by the police?

We can't allow you to leave...

...until we're certain what happened
was a non-recurring event.

Saying you feel fine
doesn't solve this.

Would you tell me
about patient confidentiality?

It's very straightforward.

Without your permission,
I can't disclose anything to anyone.

What about my family?

Not your family, not to the police.
Not to anyone.

The exception would be
if you threatened to kill someone.

Then I'd be able to tell that person,
but only that person.

And you, as a medical practitioner... abide
by these strictures absolutely.


All right.

There was no fugue state.

I remember everything.

The truth is...

...I couldn't stand to spend
another second in that house.

I just had to get out...

...and so I left.

I didn't think about it.
I just did it.

I walked for a long time, and when I
couldn't walk anymore, I hitchhiked.

I got as far as Gallup...

...and then it was just time
to come home.


...being found naked
in a supermarket...

...that was your way
of giving credibility to a lie?

Of avoiding questions
about your disappearance?

Why run away?

What did you feel
you had to run from?

Doctor, my wife
is seven months pregnant...

...with a baby we didn't intend.

My 15-year-old son
has cerebral palsy.

I am an extremely overqualified
high school chemistry teacher.

When I can work,
I make $43,700 per year.

I have watched
all of my colleagues...

...and friends surpass me
in every way imaginable...

...and within 18 months,
I will be dead.

And you ask why I ran?

Gomie, you wanna do the honours?

-What's that mean?
-That means yes.

-Yes is a bell, no is no bell.
-Come on, this is bullshit.

I mean, look at this dude. He doesn't
even know what planet he's living on.


...are we on the planet Mars?

Are we on the planet Saturn?

Are we on the planet Earth?

Senor, is today Friday?

Is today Monday?

Is today Tuesday?

Okay, seems like he's all there.
Let's go for it.


...was this man
at your house yesterday?

Senor, was this man
at your house yesterday?

This guy right here,
he was at your house, right?

Was he doing business
with your nephew Tuco?

Senor, are you scared of this man?

No, he's not scared.

Come on, Granddad.

Don't you wanna help us out?

Oh, man.

I guess that's a no.

-I told you, numbnuts. This guy's OG.
-Oh, yeah, yeah.

Kept his mouth shut for 17 years
in San Quentin.

Stroke or no stroke, old-school
gangbang Mexicans don't help feds.

-All right. It was worth a try at least.
-We gotta kick Pinkman loose.

It's all right. He's nobody anyway.

You telling me you buy
that lame-ass story?

I buy that lame-ass story more than
I buy he had anything to do...

...with shooting Tuco, man.

Dad? Hey, Dad.

Hey, can you hear me?

Yeah, yeah, no, I'm fine. Hey, I'm....


She did?
No, I didn't get any messages.

You know, I actually...

...lost my phone, and I've been
too busy to get a new one.

I've been busy as....

As totally productive.

Hey, you know what?
I'm actually zeroing in on a job.

Yeah, yeah, data entry,
like we talked about.

Yeah, I'm totally amped.

Hey, could you give me a ride?

I'm actually--
I'm downtown and my car's in the....

Oh, no.
Yeah, hey, that's cool. I will--

I'll call you later
when you have some....

Okay. Yeah. No. l--

I get it. I get it.

Okay, bye.


So, what are you doing now?

Waffle House?

Waffle House is good.

Pay phone?

Pay phone, in the middle of nowhere,
nobody followed.

So how did it go?

Okay. You?

They sweated me plenty,
but they finally cut me loose.

-So you getting out of there?

So who came for you?

The DEA? What did they ask you?

Yeah, that's the thing, you know.
Your scumbag brother-in-law...

...took my rainy-day fund.

Your what? What is that?

My rainy-day fund.
Sixty-eight thousand, okay?

Cue-ball son of a bitch
laughed in my face.

Now I got like 80 bucks
to my name.

Wait, wait. What does he know?

Does he know it's your money?

No, man.
He doesn't know shit, okay?

The plan worked.

They bought it.

I got bills due, man. I'm screwed.

-Did he mention my name?
-No. Thanks for caring.

-What about the basement?
-It's clean.

And the RV?

Badger's cousin took it to his garage.
It's safe.

Can he get it running again?

-So we can cook.

So you still wanna cook?


What's changed, Jesse?

thirty-seven thousand.

Twenty-one pounds...

...minus cash on hand....

Cash on hand.

-Sorry, honey. Did I wake you?
-No, I was awake.

-Want some cornflakes?
-Yeah, sure.

-You okay?

Southwest Aniline again?

What's this?

It's the blue meth we found
up by your late homey.

Tuco wasn't my homey, any more
than Charlie Manson was yours.

Lab says it got cooked, P2P-style.

P2P, huh?

So, what are you thinking?

The two stooges over here
cooked it?

Lab said that blue meth's
the purest they've seen.

At least since this.


Krazy-8, Tuco....

Somehow, some way,
it's all connected.

A simple explanation...

...only I'm not seeing it,
and it's making my head hurt.

That's because you're working
that ugly melon too hard.

It's dead around here.
Let's get a couple of beers.

It's 11 in the morning.

I'm buying.

You're buying? Holy crap.

-What, is it Cinco de Mayo already?
-Oh, yeah.


You little sneaky bastard, you.

Very nice work.

Thank you, sir.

-What's this?
-Look what we got you.

-Look at that, I love it.
-They got the gut right.

-There you go.

-Hey, thanks, man.
-Thank you.

We all got you a little something,
and this is from all of us.

You shouldn't have.

Oh, you sick, sick puppies.

I love it.

You going to finish
your apple juice?

No, thanks, buddy. You take it.

You're supposed to drink it.

The nurse said
you have to stay hydrated.

But I'm not thirsty.

Dad. Drink it.


Better late than never, huh?


How you doing, buddy?
You all right?

I see
the mark of the beast there, huh?

Oh, yeah.
Marie stopped by this morning.

They really cheer the place up.

Hey, I ran into Sky downstairs.

They're rounding up a wheelchair
for you, you freeloading bastard.

So tell us about the shootout.

I was, you know, just doing my job.

Whole thing was over
in about five seconds.

Say, Walt, you know... are you?

I'm okay.

Really, I'm feeling fine.

-Yeah. Yeah.

The doctor is calling it a....

An isolated episode of
transient global amnesia.


Which means non-recurring.

That sounds good, yeah.

Sounds real good.

I'll tell you what, I'm glad you're back.
You really gave us a scare.

Listen, Hank.

I don't know what to say. I mean... going out there looking for me
put you in danger, and I'm so....

Sorry, sorry doesn't
even cut it. Not nearly.

No, no, no. Is that what you're
worried about? Forget it.

Look, the office, they're treating me
like I'm Eliot Ness, okay?

They threw me a party, the gals
baked me a chocolate-chip cake... you wouldn't believe, okay?

You ought to disappear more often.

Just kidding. Don't do that.

Hey, look.
Look what they gave me.

Look what they gave me.

What is it?

That, gentlemen,
is the grill of the guy I shot.

-His grill?

It kind of goes over the front teeth
like that, you know?

Sort of a fashion statement, I guess.

You know, certain folks
are attracted to shiny things.

Wow, cool.


I can't tell you how good it feels
to be home.

I'll get these in the wash.


Say, honey, I....

I was just thinking about going out
to 7-Eleven. Do you need anything?

Big Gulp? Slim Jim?

Skyler, listen to me.

This will not happen again, okay?

I won't let it.

I'm still here. I'm me...

...and we're gonna be okay.

Walt... you have a second cell phone?

A second cell phone?

The night you disappeared, you came
in when I was taking a bath...

...and you were very upset.

It was like something
terrible had happened.

And then your cell phone rang.

I saw you check the number,
and then you got up...

...and just disappeared.


And when Hank
checked your phone records...

...there was no call.

No call on the phone I know about.

That is...


I mean, I don't remember
any of that...

...but one thing I am sure of is that
I don't have a second cell phone.