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Breaking Bad (2008–2013): Season 1, Episode 6 - Crazy Handful of Nothin' - full transcript

With the side effects and cost of his treatment mounting, Walt demands that Jesse finds a wholesaler to buy their drugs, which lands him in trouble.


[♪♪♪]

Let's get something straight.

This, the chemistry, is my realm.

I am in charge
of the cooking.

Out there on the street,
you deal with that.

[ALARM WAILING]

As far as our customers go, I don't
want to know anything about them.

I don't wanna see them,
I don't wanna hear from them.

I want no interaction with them
whatsoever.

[CHATTERING]

This operation is you and me,
and I'm the silent partner.

You got
any issues with that?

Whatever, man.

No matter what happens,

no more bloodshed.

[♪♪♪]

No violence.

[♪♪♪]

Walt?
Mm.

You all right?
Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I'm okay.

You know, honey, you...
You really don't have to...

Look, I like being here with you.

Yeah.

I'm only saying that,
you know, I'd be okay,

that really, if you wanna go...

You know, actually, it would
make me feel a little better

knowing that you were there
when Walter Jr. Gets home
from school.

Okay.

All right. So you'll call me
when you're finished?

Oh, yeah.
Okay.

Oh, uh, and have you been
in touch with Elliott?

Because I haven't seen
a check from him.

Yes, l... I got it.

Really?
It came, yeah. And l...

Yeah, it did. It came last week,

and I put it right into
my credit union account.

So I'm taking care of it.

Good.
Yeah.

So we're good. We're good.

Could you not deposit this
until Monday?

Thank you.

Call if the discomfort's too much,
otherwise we'll see you next week.

Yeah.

[♪♪♪]

WALT: Chemical reactions involve
change on two levels:

Matter and energy.

When a reaction is gradual,
the change in energy is slight.

I mean, you don't even notice
the reaction is happening.

For example, when rust collects
on the underside of a car, right?

But if a reaction happens quickly,

otherwise harmless substances
can interact in a way

that generates
enormous bursts of energy.

Uh. Uh...

Who can give me an example
of rapid chemical reaction?

Hint, hint. Right here.

Like, an explosion?

Yes, good. Explosions.

Explosions are the result
of chemical reactions

happening almost instantaneously.

And the faster reactants,
i.e. Explosives...

And fulminative mercury
is a prime example of that.

The faster they undergo change,

the more violent the explosion.

Explosions.

Okay, listen, why don't you
start reading on your own

from the top of chapter seven,
all right?

[VOMITING]

MAN:
You okay?

I got it, Mr. White.

Don't worry.

You got kids to teach.

Thanks, Hugo.

[CAR HORN HONKING]

SKYLER:
He's starting to lose weight,

which is tough, to see that.

I can already feel the difference
when I put my arms around him.

Can I talk to...?
Of course.

Walt.

When you don't
let me in,

when you don't tell me
what's going on...

I mean, it's like I feel like you don't
even want me around sometimes.

No.

And recently, these afternoons,

when you're coming home
so late,

and we're just left wondering
where you are.

WALT JR:
Yeah, Dad.

What's up with that?

Walt, is there anything else
you're holding back from
your family?

Now's the time to share.

Well, I, uh...

I like to be alone,
I mean, at times.

And it's not
about you, really.

It's just that sometimes
it feels better

not to talk at all

about anything

to anyone.

Alone time can be helpful,
for some types.

Maybe knowing what you do
when you're alone

might make it easier for your family
to be more accepting

of whatever it is you do alone.

Yeah.

Well,

I like to go on walks

a couple of times a week,
maybe more, after work.

And I really enjoy the nature.

You know, the cacti,

vegetation, that kind of thing.

And it's really very therapeutic.

[♪♪♪]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[COUGHING]

Yo, God, are you okay?

Hey, you did that shit?
I'm dizzy. No.

I'm just dizzy. I need air.

God, I feel like I'm burning up.
Sit down, sit down.

I gotta...
Take this off.

Sit down, get some air.

Oh, God.

Here.

Better?
Yeah, that's better.

When were you gonna tell me?

Tell you what?

Cancer.

You got it, right?

How did you know?

My aunt had one of those
dots on her

to target the radiation.
What, is it in your lung?

I'm your partner, man,
you should've told me.

God, that's not cool, okay?
Not at all.

What stage are you?

Three-A.

Gone into your lymph nodes.

Your aunt,

how bad was she
when they caught it?

Bad enough,
she didn't last long.

How long?
Seven months.

God.

I get it now.

That's why you're doing all this.

You want to make
some cash for your people
before you check out.

You got a problem with that?
You tell me.

You're the one that
looks like he just crawled
out of a microwave.

[GROANING]

You gonna be able to
finish the batch?

Yes.

All right.

No.

You do it.

Me?

Yeah.

What happened
to your mad skills?

[SIGHS]

Go on. Here.

You do it.

You can do it.

If you have any questions,
I'll be right out here.

The next time, put an ice pack
on your head during chemo.

My aunt said it helped
with the hair loss.

[♪♪♪]

What's this, Christmas?

This that one we found way out
in the boonies at the cook site?

Holy shit.
What?

HANK: Lab says they pulled up
an imprint of some old writing
used to be on the inside,

Magic Marker or something.
Yeah? What's it say?

"Property of
J.P. Winn Chemistry Lab."

That's Walt's school.

[PAUL ROTHMAN'S
"SCOOBIDOO LOVE" PLAYS]

We were supposed
to start at 3.

Hey, I'm out there making
fat stacks, man. Chill.

Hey, prepaid cell phone. Use it.

How much is this?
Twenty-six big ones.

Is that all?
Twenty-six thousand dollars?

No, that's 2600,
and your share is 13,

minus 25 bucks
for that phone.

How much meth did you sell?
Nearly an ounce.

Last time I checked,

there were 16 ounces
to a pound. What did you do
with the rest, smoke it?

Yo, I've been out there
all night slinging crystal.

You think it's cake
moving a pound of meth
one teenth at a time?

So why are you selling it
in such small quantities?

Why don't you just sell
the whole pound at once?

To who?
What do I look like, Scarface?

This is unacceptable.
I am breaking the law here.

This return is too little
for the risk.

I thought you'd be ready
for another pound today.

You may know a lot
about chemistry, man,

but you don't know jack
about slinging dope.

Well, I'll tell you,
I know a lack of
motivation when I see it.

Oh, my...

Come on, you've gotta be more
imaginative, you know, just...

Just think
outside the box here.

We have to move our product
in bulk, wholesale.

Now, how do
we do that?

What do you mean,
to, like, a distributor?

Yes. Yes, that's what we need.

We need a distributor.
Now, do you know anyone like that?

Yeah, I mean, I used to,
until you killed him.

So who took Krazy-8's place?

Some guy named Tuco.

Badass, from what I hear.

Tuco, okay.
So then just go talk to Tuco.

Right. Like, "Hello, sir.
Hey, I know you don't know me,

but would you be interested
in a felony quantity
of methamphetamine?"

Well, yes, but maybe with
a little more salesmanship,
perhaps?

You just don't get it, man.
Okay? This guy's OG.

What... What does that mean?
Jesus, look, he's off our level, man.

He's not gonna do business
with some dude he doesn't know.

You just don't understand
the way it works.

You can't just bum-rush
some high-level ice man

and start cutting deals.

Okay? It's risky. You need an intro,
you need someone to vouch.

Well, who introduced you
to Krazy-8?

Emilio, and that's only because
I knew him from, like, third grade.

And we can't talk to Emilio
either, because...

All right, all right, all right.

Look, I'm telling you,
Mr. White, it's too risky. Okay?

I mean, we're making money.
Why can't you just be satisfied

with the way it is?
Oh, come on! Jesus!

Just grow
some fucking balls!

Wow.

[MONITOR BEEPING]

Wait till Monday again?
Yes, please. Thank you.

[VOMITING]

Oh, God.

[TOILET FLUSHES]

Mr. White.

Thank you, Hugo.

[GROANS]

[COUGHING]

Knock, knock.
Oh, hey.

How you feeling, Walt?
Good. Yeah.

Are you up for having a visitor?

Hey, buddy.
Hank.

Well, let me know
if you need anything, huh?

I will. Thank you, Carmen.
No problem.

Damn.

Chick's got an ass like an onion,
makes me wanna cry.

So, what...?
What are you doing here?

Well, I had some questions
I wanted to run by you, work-related.

You feeling okay?
I can come back later.

No, no, no, I'm fine.
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

What do you mean,
"work-related," though?

Do you recognize that?

No. No.

Well, that was used to cook meth.

Found it out on some Indian land
about 40 miles from here.

Old label on the inside used to say:

"J.P. Winn Chemistry Lab."
Really?

I don't understand
how that came from here.

Well, I was hoping
you could help me with that.

We found it near an abandoned car
that belonged to one of our snitches.

A snitch?

Yeah, one of our
confidential informants.

Went missing a while back.

No body yet,
but we're pretty sure, you know:

[CLICKS TONGUE]

Probably chopped up
into little pieces and
fed to the buzzards.

Anyway, you...

Any respirators like that
go missing lately?

No. No.

No, I mean,
not that I know of.

I'll need to look at that inventory.
Sure.

Sure. I've got a list
hanging on the wall.

Do you mind if I take a look
at your storeroom?

Not at all. No.

Be my guest.

All right, so who's got keys?

The science faculty,
the staff, Carmen,

the vice-principal
has the master, and me.

How about students?

No, no. No students have keys.

Shit, I should hope not.
My question is,

do any of the little pissants
know where you keep them?

Uh... I don't...
I don't think so, no.

I mean, besides,
I keep them right here
in my pocket anyway, so...

Walt, look,
I know they're your students,

but do not underestimate them.
Big mistake.

Are there any other respirators?
Um, no.

Because I'm counting six,
inventory says eight.

[PHONE RINGING]

Hm.

Glassware looking a little sparse.
Is it?

Yeah. You're missing a couple of
Erlenmeyer flasks, at least.

Oh, yeah.

A five-thousand milliliter
round-bottom.

Meth heads love
to brew in this baby.

[PHONE RINGING]

You gonna answer that?
Oh, no, it's just... No, I don't...

Maybe it's Skyler
and she's in trouble
or something.

I mean, shit, don't ignore it
on my account. Answer it.
Come on, I got stuff to do.

Jeez.
Okay.

Hello?
JESSE: Yo, what's up, Mr. W?

Speaking.

Bad time to talk?
Absolutely.

All right, so just listen.

So you know that guy
we were talking about, Tuco?

Turns out my boy, Skinny Pete,
was in the same cell block with him

over at Los Lunas.

So we got our in. We're hauling
a pound to the dude right now.

Okay, then. Well, thank you.
Thank you very much for calling.

My doctor is very solicitous.

Hey, look, buddy. The last thing
I wanna do is get you in hot water.

But some meth-monkey
had a feeding frenzy in here, okay?

You gotta keep better watch
over your turf.

I will.

We don't want people
to start wondering about you, right?

[LAUGHS]

Right. No. Right. Absolutely not.

So you're sure
you're tight with this guy?

Two nuts in a ball sack, yo.

[MUSIC PLAYING OVER STEREO]

Yo, man, I'm Skinny Pete.

MAN:
Skinny dick.

Maybe this isn't such
a good idea, yo. Come on.

[DOOR BUZZES]

Yeah, man, that's what's happening.

PETE:
Yo, Tuco's expecting us.

No need, man.
Me and Tuco go back.

Tuco, what's happening,
my brother?

Sick crib, yo. You've been keeping
it real since you been sprung.

What's it been, like, a year?
This your boy?

Yeah, Jesse. Dude with the glass
I was telling you about.

Hey, man, yeah.
I've heard a lot about you.

Break out the ice.

Take a bump.
No worries, man, I'm no cop.

I said, hit it.

All right.

[YELLS]

This kicks like a mule
with his balls wrapped in duct tape.

Where'd you get it?
I cooked it.

Bullshit.

Who you working for?

No one, man. I mean,
I have a partner that
I cook with, but that's it.

All right.

We got a deal.

See, I told you Tuco
would hook you up.

Cool. I haven't said how much.

[TUCO MOANING]

All right. How much?

Thirty-five large for the pound.

[SCALE BEEPS]

Well, I mean,
you're a little light, ese.

[LAUGHS]

It's all right, don't sweat it.
It's all good.

It's good. Go on, get out of here.

What about the money?
You'll get it.

This is a consignment operation.

You want me to float
thirty-five G's?

You don't trust me?

Hey, no, no, hey.
It's not that, man.

It's just, you know,
I don't do business that way.

Tough shit, the deal is done.

You said this was cool, okay?
Money for meth, cash up front.

Don't front, dude,
Tuco's good for it.

I don't need your punk ass
to vouch for me.

Come on.

Oh, come on.

All right. You brought me
some really clean crystal. Hoo!

You really want your
money up front?

Up front.

[♪♪♪]

[GRUNTING]

Nobody moves crystal
in the South Valley but me, bitch.

Morning, Hugo.

You don't mind if I call you Hugo,
Hugo?

CARMEN:
We've never had a problem
with Hugo, ever.

Is that Uncle Hank?

Right, what do you got there?
All right. Book him.

Uncle Hank's
arresting Mr. Archilleya.

This doesn't make any sense
to me at all. I don't understand.

HANK:
I got two words for you:
Background check. How about that?

JESSE:
Yo, yo, yo. 1-4-8, 3-to-the-3,
to-the-6, to-the-9.

Representing the ABQ.
What up, beyotch?

Leave it at the tone.

[BEEPS]

Where the hell are you?
Call me back.

SKYLER: Hey, Walt?
Yeah?

Hank's about to deal.
Okay, I'll be right there.

HANK:
All right, let's see
what the turn brings us.

[MUSIC PLAYING
OVER STEREO]

You're looking good, Walt.
Your color's better.

Yeah? Thanks.

He's actually on
the pretty strong stuff now.

Dr. Delcavoli's trying
to talk him into taking
some time off from work, but...

Well, actually,
I just talked to
Carmen this morning,

and they're getting a substitute
for a few weeks.

Oh.
Good for you.

I just didn't
have a chance to tell you. Sorry.

Your bet, tough guy.

Check.

Yeah, check.

Check's in the mail.

Ten million.
That's 25 million, blue's 10.

Well, then, 25 million,
because that's how I roll.

WALT JR:
Hey, Uncle Hank, um,

why were you arresting
Mr. Archilleya the other day?

He's a pretty cool guy.

Well, turns out he has
a record. Yeah, a couple
of possession beefs.

We figured he was
the guy that was stealing
your school's chemistry gear.

I mean, you know,
he had a key, fit the profile.

And when we searched his truck,
we found a big old fat blunt.

Which goes to prove
old huge Hugo
ain't so cool after all.

It's to you, Walt.
Yeah, I'll call.

You know, I can't believe
the school system

didn't know about
this guy's record.

I mean, that's pretty scary.
How could something like that

just slip through the cracks?
WALT: I don't know.

I mean, for what it's worth,
Hugo just doesn't strike me
as a thief.

Yeah, well, nothing personal, Walt,
but you wouldn't know a criminal

if he was close enough
to check you for a hernia.

That said, we got a search warrant,
and we tore old Hugo's house apart.

Turns out
he's a major-league pothead.

But he didn't
raid your chemistry set.

You hiding something?

I'm in. And the river card.

Oh.

Yeah, I got nothing, I'm out.

I'm out.

Yowza.

When old holes-in-her-purse bails,
you know you're in deep.

Looks like it's you and me, buddy.

What's gonna happen to him. Hugo?

Well, I mean, he's gonna
lose his job, like he should.

Probably spend a couple months in
county, because it's not his first rap.

I'm waiting.

You gonna man up
or are you gonna puss out?

Hank.

What? Sorry.

I'm all in.

No, no, no. You bad,
bad, bad, horrible liar.

What are you smoking there, huh?

You got a heart?
You got the flush, don't you?

Nope. Not falling for it, buddy.
I fold.

Talk about anticlimactic.
HANK: Hey.

Your cards couldn't
have been that bad,
come on.

Oh, my God.
You threw away an ace?

HANK: What are you doing?
And a cowboy for what?

Oh.

A handful of nothing.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[SODA-CAN TOP POPS]

[BUTTONS BEEPING]

[LINE RINGING]

PETE:
Yeah, what up?

Who is this?
I was dialing Jesse Pinkman.

Hey, man, he's out.

Well, where is he, then?

You the guy?

Yeah, I'm the guy.

How is he?

Got some busted ribs,
and like that.

Got messed up pretty good.

I was all, like,
"Damn, Tuco, chill, ese."

I don't know what got
into him. Seriously.

Oh, he's out, man. Way out.

They got him
doped up big time.

So you're the cook, huh?

Yo, I didn't catch your name.

Tell me about this Tuco.

Tell me everything about him.

[TOILET FLUSHES]

[♪♪♪]

[RAZOR BUZZING]

Morning.

Could you pass the butter, please?

Badass, Dad.

[HIP-HOP MUSIC
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS
IN DISTANCE]

[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING]

[CHATTERING]

MAN:
Hey, cue ball.
Need some directions?

You Tuco?

I want to talk to Tuco,
and I'm not leaving until I do.

What's your name?

Heisenberg.

Heisenberg. Okay.

Have a seat, Heisenberg.

I don't imagine
I'll be here very long.

No?

[CHUCKLES]

All right.

Be that way.

It's your meeting.

Why don't you start talking
and tell me what you want?

Fifty thousand dollars.

[LAUGHS]

Oh, man.
Fifty G's? How you figure that?

Thirty-five
for the pound of meth you stole,

and another fifteen
for my partner's pain and suffering.

Partner.

Oh, yeah, I remember that little bitch.

So you must be Daddy.

Let me get this straight.

I steal your dope,

I beat the piss
out of your mule boy,

and then you walk in here
and you bring me more meth?

That's a brilliant plan, ese.

Brilliant.

You got one part of that wrong.

This is not meth.

Are you fucking nuts?

You wanna find out?

[COCKS GUN]

No, no, Gonzo, calma.

[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

You got balls, I'll give you that.

All right, all right.
I'll give you your money.

That crystal
that your partner brought me,

it sold faster than 10-dollar ass
in TJ.

Let's say you bring me
another pound next week.

Money up front.

All right.

Money up front.

Sometimes you gotta rob
to keep your riches.

Just as long as we got
an understanding.

One pound is not gonna cut it.
You have to take two.

Oh, really?

Hey, what is that shit?

Fulminated mercury,

and a little tweak of chemistry.

[CHUCKLES]

[ALARM WAILING]

[GROANING]

[GROWLING]

[SIREN WAILING]

[THE SILVER SEAS'
"CATCH YER OWN TRAIN" PLAYS]